Shadows Under the Oak Tree
by trimurti
Summary: [FE7] Canas married a magic user partly to learn more about the anima system; her reason might have been just as selfish. A slice-of-life quiet drama set in mostly quiet Ilia.
1. Kindness

Shadows Under the Oak Tree

By Tenshi no Ai

(C) Intelligent Systems and Nintendo

-0-

1. Kindness  
(_Bondage 101. Welcome to Corinth._)

When Canas began to wake up, the first thing he realized was that he was on a soft bed.

It was a nice realization. Since he began his journey from Thria, a province of Lycia, back to his homeland of Ilia, beds had been few and far between. Straw, grass, and the back of caravans intent on rolling over each pebble and pothole were poor substitutes. Once in a while he had been lucky to get a job as a tutor or scribe, but it was to his utmost dismay that no one cared for scholars in this day and age. The fact that he was a practicing shaman didn't help matters, nor did his rousing discourse on the (somewhat) unfounded bias against that most ancient of magics. He was unfortunately used to not being heard.

So. The bed. It was so comfortable that his mind stayed fuzzy and indistinct longer than he was used to. At his mother's home, the beds were little more than boards covered with a thin bedsheet. It was supposed to facilitate useful thought processes more quickly, because no one could--or wanted to--lay around after they woke up. This bed even had a pillow, and that was enough to make him decide to sink back into sleep. He tried to turn onto his side and found that he couldn't. When he attempted to move his arms, then his legs, he was met with failure.

When he opened his eyes, it was to his horror to find himself tied to the bed.

_Was I...accosted by bandits?_ he asked himself, craning his neck to the right to stare at one bound wrist. He tried to flex his hand, with limited success. The knot, as far as he could see, was expertly tied. Peering down one leg, he noticed that his boots had been removed. _Only_ his boots. This only added to his confusion, because bandits were not commonly known for taking footwear and tying their hostages to soft beds. At least, he hadn't read anything like that before. They were more well-known for striking a man dead and leaving his body to rot where it lay, which was certainly more understandable than...this. Whatever this was.

As he turned his head to the left, his monocle dislodged itself and fell onto the white sheets. He would've cursed had he been the cursing type. Instead, he sighed. Come what may, he was going to go through it half-blind and bound.

It was at this low point in his life that a helping hand literally appeared--a blurry one, at any rate--and replaced the monocle, though it was slightly askew when the hand withdrew. "There now. Is that better?" a soft, feminine voice asked from somewhere to his left.

"Yes, thank you," Canas replied automatically. The thought then occurred to him to look at whomever had just spoken, and when he did so he frowned. Sitting on a chair across from his hip was a young woman with hair and eyes that strongly resembled the milky green jade in the two-hundred-year old tome Talisman: The Conducive Qualities of Minerals and Metals. Though she was dressed like a peasant, with thicker clothing to contend with Ilia's year-round chill, there was an ornate-looking book resting on her lap. Try as he might to read the title on its spine, her hands partially obscured it. It did look somewhat familiar, what with its red-with-gold-trimmings design. "Err..." He realized he was on the verge of asking about the book and tried to steer his thoughts to more pressing matters. His arms were going to sleep. "Excuse me, but may I ask why I am, ah, bound to this bed?"

She had the grace to look sheepish as she answered, "That would be my doing. We do not often receive visitors, and you _are_ a suspicious character, sir."

"Oh. Forgive me." This too was an automatic response. "I assure you, I mean no harm. I'm on a quest for knowledge, and am currently seeking someone."

The woman looked skeptical. "You are a scholar, sir?"

"Well, yes."

"Excuse me for saying this, but you are a liar."

His eyes widened. Of all the things he had been called on his journeys, 'liar' wasn't one of them. "Ah, forgive me. Why...did I say something wrong?"

"Because of this." She reached under her seat, and pulled out a black tome. To Canas' furthering dismay, he recognized it as his Flux tome. Her expression hardened as she continued with, "It fell out of your satchel when you were carried here, though I was fairly certain when I first saw you. Shamans are not appreciated here."

"Oh, err...I see." _It seems that the misconceptions over elder magic exist even here, even though my mother claims Ilia as her homeland_, he thought, worry coloring his inner words. He wasn't sure what to say to the woman who seemed upset now, although he catalogued the fact that she was learned enough to read the ancient language of the title. "This village...exactly where am I?" he asked. His last memory was of trudging through shin-high snow.

Her expression softened once she put down the elder magic tome. "This is the village of Corinth. You were found half a mile away by one of the woodsmen. Had you stayed out there any longer, you would've died."

_Corinth?_ "This is really Corinth?" Canas asked, suddenly more happy than someone who has been bound against their will should be. "That's wonderful news! Did you know that only the barest of directions can be obtained for this village? It isn't even on any of the maps I used--"

"Sir, you almost died!" the woman snapped. "Do you know how many heated wraps I had to make to stave off the frostbite you had contracted? How many logs I had to burn? How many sp...oh, is your 'quest for knowledge' more important than your common sense?"

"Ah, forgive me." He was about to say more, but his monocle was starting to slip off of his face again. "Excuse me, could you--yes, thank you," he said as she replaced it, less askew than before. "Now, err, could you perhaps direct me to a house?"

"Absolutely _not_."

Momentarily taken back by the flatness of her response, he stared at her. Her mouth was one thin line of determination as she glared at him, and he had to wonder why she held such animosity for him. Then he remembered that she knew he was a practicing shaman--though the truth of it was much more complex than that simple description--and shook his head in protest. "Miss, I wouldn't...not all users of elder magic are, dare I say, evil. That is the work of superstition and prolonged bias, something I object most strenuously to."

Closing her eyes, she pinched the bridge of her nose with slender fingers. "Yes, I understand. However, you can't just--look, you're a suspicious person who has found his way into a village that no one outside of Ilia should know about."

"But I am an Ilian," he argued weakly. His legs were uncomfortably numb.

"From where? Edessa? That's at least a week away in clear weather."

"Actually, I was born on Mount Themscyera."

The look the woman threw him was one of disbelief. "Only the esteemed Mountain Hermit lives there."

He nodded almost frantically, remembering a passage from a cleric's book that stated prolonged blood loss from extremities would render that limb useless for the rest of his life. That would be a long time, if his mother was any indication. "That would be my mother you speak of."

She said nothing for a long moment, her light skin paling all of a sudden. "L-Lady Niime is your..." With a start, she stood, set down her tome on her chair, and got to work untying his bonds. As she leaned over him, Canas caught the scent of irial flowers. According to the comprehensive Encyclopedia of Flora and Fauna, it was an edible flower that flourished in northeastern Ilia, but he thought they smelled much better than they tasted. Even after she moved down to release his legs from the rope the light perfume still remained.

"Thank you," he said once he was unbound. Unable to move while the numbness still remained, he happened to notice that he could now read the spine of her book. "'Fire'," he read, before his gaze flickered up to her face. "You're a mage," he stated in wonder. That would explain her familiarity with the language of magic.

"Sage," she corrected in a quiet voice. "I am the village herbalist, though I like to think myself its protector as well. Forgive my haste in judging you, I...I know that my magic is weaker compared to the dark energies shamans use, so I thought of using a more extreme method to subdue you."

Tingles from his returning blood flow caused him to wince in discomfort. "It is no problem. I am, ah, used to that conclusion."

Tucking her hair behind her ears, the woman turned away. "Even so...a son of Lady Niime..." Shaking her head, she gave him a contrite look that made him rather distressed to see it. He had a strong aversion to making people uncomfortable. "You said you were looking for someone. Who might it be?"

"'Harnan and Viola, sages of the first order'," he recited from memory. "My mother told me that the man is a descendant of the Albion bloodline, one of the most potent anima users in the history of Elibe. I thought to study under him."

"To become a mage?" the woman asked, now looking vaguely pleased. Canas shook his head, trying not to move too much and accidently send a flare of needle-like sensations roaring through his limbs.

"No, I consider myself a scholar first and foremost. Though I am training in the use of elder magic, I find myself fascinated with the other systems. I was hoping to study the materials he has undoubtedly stored, in order to get a better understanding of the anima system." The strangest look crossed the sage's face at this; it seemed to Canas that the woman was puzzled, shocked, or some combination of both. "Did I say something wrong?" he asked.

She shook her head quickly. "You wish to see my parents, then. I...if it pleases you, I will take you to them."

"Your parents?" he asked in wonder. "What a coincidence! I would be most grateful if you took me to them!" He noticed the flutter of emotion on her face again and realized that, with the whole episode of being tied to the bed, he had forgotten to introduce himself properly. "Forgive me for not saying this sooner, but my name is Canas."

A small smile graced her face. "I am called Lily." Rising from her seat, she nodded at him. "You're probably hungry. Once you've recovered your mobility, please come to the kitchen."

As she left the room, Canas stared up at the ceiling and ignored the slight pain in his neck from turning it one way for too long. The bed was tempting him to close his eyes, but the thought of a home-cooked meal awoke his stomach. _Oh, how wonderful_, he thought happily._ If there is truly evidence that providence exists like the Elimineans believe, this would surely be it!_

-0-

While Lily got ready the next morning to set out of her home, she was preoccupied with the growing thought that her houseguest was an idiot. Or rather, that his priorities were in the wrong place, which amounted to the same thing in her mind.

When Gouterry found the shaman-scholar face-down in the snow that morning, Lily had been the one summoned by his son. Seeing the adolescent's face blotched red, his breath short puffs of air as he fought to calm down, she had immediately feared the worst. She had taken her emergency box, which included a number of medicines, antidotes, and things if the worst had already occurred, and raced to the village entrance, where the broad-shouldered woodsman held the pale man who wore dark colors. Gouterry had been so good as to retrieve that man's satchel as well, though after a cursory examination she wasn't sure if he would ever need it again.

The Flux tome had fallen out on the way to her house, and she almost left that man there with it.

She was forced to treat him in her room, just for lack of convenient space; it was her preference to visit and treat people in the comfort of their own homes. Familiarity soothed the spirit and body like nothing else, she knew. Canas had none of that, but his body had responded well to her treatment of the chills that wracked his body. If he had not been a magic user and therefore somewhat resistant to extreme temperatures, recovery might not have been possible. Unwilling to undress her unconscious patient, she had been forced to dry his clothes using a Fire tome and her hands as small irons. Once she felt that his temperature was adequate, she set to work tying his limbs to the bedposts and waited until he woke up.

_A strange man indeed_, she thought, securing her long hair with a large metal clasp and tucking it under the collar of her cloak. _It's rare to see someone so focused on study...probably even at the cost of his own life. That's bound to happen sooner than later if he continues to sink his soul into the dark arts._

Once she had stepped into her boots and straightened out her clothes from under the heavy cloak, Lily made her way into the small sitting room at the front of her house. Canas was there, sitting on her couch while writing notes into one of his tomes. She couldn't help but notice that he was in the same traveling clothes from the day before and wondered if his bag only held books. Shaking her head at that unpleasant thought, she walked over to his chair and patiently stood by while his pen scritched on. When he finished his annotation, he turned towards her and smiled. "Good morning, Lily. I was just indulging in some light reading before our trip."

_Light reading?_ She stared at the book, which had a title in some complicated language that looked akin to ancient magical runes. It was as massive as the dictionary of plants, animals and their habitats she owned, which she could hardly throw a foot in front of her. "I...I would certainly hate to see what you would call heavy reading," she replied in a vague sort of way. Sarcasm wasn't her forte, but there was just something about him that brought strange thoughts to the surface.

He chuckled, closing the tome and placing it inside his satchel. "Yes, well, the pursuit of knowledge makes any book as invigorating as a brisk morning walk." Standing, he hefted the bulky bag over one shoulder. It surprised her now, as it did last night when he had finally been able to stand, to see how much taller he was compared to her. And, in her belief, how thin and undernourished.

"Are you sure you wouldn't like to partake of breakfast?" she asked. She was used to running around in the morning with nothing more than a cup of tea to calm her hunger, but a houseguest was a houseguest.

"Oh, I wouldn't want to put you through the trouble," he protested, looking embarrassed at even the thought of it. "As you indicated, your parents live fairly close by."

_He really doesn't understand, does he?_ "Yes, they are close by," she repeated before walking past him to open the door. The hinges creaked and she vowed to ask Soveingy to repair it before the storms arrived.

Corinth was a small village. A beautiful village. _Her_ village. Just a small hamlet snuggled at the base of Mount Athene, it was already several hours awake as she stepped past the doorway. Chilly winds caressed her face as the spirits of the sky greeted her, and she smiled as they cooed and chattered like affectionate doves. There was a fresh layer of snow on the ground that crunched beneath her feet; she could hear Canas close the door and unsteadily follow her, making her wonder how long he had been gone from Ilia that he would be so uncomfortable in the snow. The scents of fresh bread at Grandma Yunice's house just down the way warred with cured ham at Tinae's meats shop and nudged at her empty stomach, causing it to growl in annoyance. Blushing, she tried to trudge on, ignoring the delicious smells in favor of the many spirits swirling around her.

"My, what a quaint town," she heard Canas murmur as he caught up to her. "It looks very near self-reliant, even with its considerable distance from the majority of Ilia's towns. I would think this place near inhabitable if I were not seeing this before my very eyes..."

"'People cannot find Corinth with a map, but they can very easily stumble upon it'," she said, quoting her late grandfather's favorite saying. Iris hadn't agreed, she remembered. Perhaps that was why her sister had left in the first place. Adjusting her cloak as a way to draw her mind back to the present, she glanced over at the shaman-scholar. "This is a place made for anima users. Here, we either accept the forces of nature, or..." She spread her arms out, a common gesture of her father's. "Well, you understand. Nature governs even those who invite darkness into their souls."

Wide-eyed, he looked ready to say something, but instead he exhaled heavily. "It is as you say. I can't help but wonder if calling elder magic that most ancient of magics isn't really just a misnomer when nature has preceded it. Then again..."

She carefully shook her head, making sure not to jerk her hair out of place. "Darkness and light have far more in common with humans than nature. That's why--

_Iris, you should've stayed here, where only nature reigns_

--I find this is the best place for me."

Canas nodded, a slight smile on his face. "I see. If you don't mind me saying so, the village complements you very well. In my travels, I have found that most anima users are inclined towards studying their path in all sorts of wonderful books, but there are few who actually choose to live completely surrounded by nature."

Laughing, she covered her mouth with a gloved hand. "Oh, well, we are still civilized here. A pegasus knight of the union comes once a week to trade when the weather permits it. I can receive all the tomes I ask for, and when the storms come we just hunker down and do our best." She stared at the path before them, which lead to the sparse woods at the foot of the mountain. Brilliant red leaves still clung to the branches, autumn colors in winter.

"Very odd to see such a phenomena," she heard him murmur.

"They're red oaks. Their leaves endure the winter while maintaining their color." She paused, then said, "They are the village symbol."

"Ah. Interesting. The few trees that cling to the cliffs near my mother's house grow little in the way of foliage, even during the summer months."

Lily nodded. The only thing of worth on Mount Themscyera was the Mountain Hermit, every magic user knew that. With a steady gait they passed under the flame-colored leaves. The shaman-scholar was looking around in rapt attention, and she took a moment to study him. His purple hair was longish, the ends from his neck past his collar, yet he was clean-shaven, something she noted admirably. The thing that struck her most was how soft his eyes were; it was as if he absorbed everything that happened and understood why they happened without bearing any grudges.

He had an intelligent heart. That was what her mother would've said, and Lily would've agreed.

Sighing inwardly, she returned her gaze to what lay before them. _To think such an honest face belongs to a man who would devote himself to darkness. Of course, his mother is the same way, but Lady Niime is...beyond our ken._ "It's just a bit farther," she said as a flicker of thought broached the surface of her mind: _Lady Niime is a force of nature herself, or so my parents have said. _

"Oh, that is a relief to hear. It appears that I am, err, feeling a bit overwhelmed." She turned to look at him at those words, her eyes narrowing at his sheepish expression.

"I asked you if you wanted breakfast."

"Ah...forgive me. The very thought of being so close to a source of knowledge is, err, quite persuasive."

_This man is beyond my understanding as well_, she thought with irritation. _If all scholars are like him, it is a wonder they live long enough to pass off the fruits of their knowledge. _"Don't worry, we're near," she said, making a passable attempt at calmness. _I will have to see Tinae about some meat for a proper stew after I deliver borscwath needles for Erina's eldest. _

Beyond the oaks was a clearing just before the mountain began to climb towards the gray skies. Lily walked forward seven paces, then stopped. "Here, sir," she called, turning to look at him.

Canas, with a decidedly befuddled expression, adjusted his monocle. "...Here is what, if I may ask?"

"Here is where my parents are."

Silence reigned for a long, untouched moment before the shaman-scholar approached her side. "I...did not realize..." she heard him murmur, sounding as if he felt he was in a faraway dream. Pity swept over her then; why did she not just tell him after he said their names?

_But he had traveled such a long way_, she told herself. _I could not just send off one of Lady Niime's sons so rudely. That is just not the Ilian way._

"They succumbed to disthrenya five months ago. I don't know if you study outside of magical tomes, but its common name is--"

"Sleeping Death, that which steals over those who have lived a long life." He knelt down, gently laying a hand on the patch of snow before him. "It is different from natural causes because it is preceded by a mild cough."

"I thought it was a cold," she whispered, closing her eyes as she aimed her face towards the summit of the mountain. "But there is no known cure for disthrenya here. I know of the possible ingredients, but I cannot leave without endangering anyone. I have...accepted that, under the circumstances, there was nothing I could do."

_Liar._

"I...I see." When she opened her eyes and looked down at him, she found that his head was still bowed. It touched her to see him exude such respect for her parents, for people he hadn't even had the pleasure of knowing.

"I know you have traveled a long time just for your studies, and I am sorry that I cannot bring back that wasted time. I..." Here Lily paused, unsure of her next words. She envisioned it as if two paths laid in front of her, diverging from this single decision.

_He is...kind. Even for what he is...I think my parents would've been pleased to know that someone like him has such respect for our bloodline._

"Winter is already upon us, and you really shouldn't be wandering around at this time. I wouldn't be able to, in good conscience, call myself a guardian and an Ilian if I turned you away. If it pleases you..." She tightly clasped her hands and prayed to the spirits that she was not making the wrong decision. "I would be happy to let you study all the tomes we have. It would take a while, but you are welcome here, sir...um, Canas."

Still kneeling on the snow, he turned to look up at her. Lily was surprised at the intensity of joy in his eyes. "Really? How wonderful! I have nothing of value to recompense for your kindness--"

"Don't worry about that. Please." Smiling, she turned back to the village. "I have some deliveries to make, but if you can wait I'll be sure to make a proper stew for you."

"That sounds magnificent," he replied, and she heard the shuffling sounds as he stood up and swept bits of snow from his clothes. "You do not know just how much this means to me..."

_Probably_, she thought as she half-listened to his chatter, so similar to the spirits of the land. _I'm not even sure what this means to me._

-to be continued...-

This isn't a love story.

I take that back. This is a story where love is earned after many years and experiences, but respect and companionship are first and foremost. There's something slightly contradictory when it comes to information about Canas and his wife; Canas and Pent's support makes it sound as if the marriage is just another quest for knowledge for him, but FE6's Niime and Hugh A support has Niime saying that the two wanted to get married, even though she was opposed to it. Well, maybe both are right. Let's see how it goes, okay? If you have any questions, comments, sage advice or whatever, I'll be more than happy to accept it. Thanks for reading!


	2. One Day

Shadows Under the Oak Tree

By Tenshi no Ai

(C) Intelligent Systems and Nintendo

-0-

2. One Day  
(_Of picture books and barrels of meat._)

Canas woke up in a soft bed, and this time it was expected.

He could ill afford to take such a wonderful boon for granted, so he rolled onto his back and wound himself even more tightly in the blankets, thoroughly enjoying the practice of being lazy. After ten minutes he was tired of it and managed to extricate himself from the many thick blankets; a summer in Ostia and autumn in Thria had decimated his resistance to the cold. Though, he supposed he hadn't been home in a very long time.

He found his monocle on the bedside table and smiled as the room came into complete focus. It was hard for him to remember just how long he had needed it; according to his mother, his right eye had been weak from birth. He likened it to the tale of Odin, who removed one eye to obtain knowledge and see even more clearly. However, Canas was quite content in seeing out of both eyes for the moment. After all, one could learn so much just by observing their surroundings; case in point, the room he now occupied.

Lily had left him the use of her bedroom and moved all her necessary articles into the room at the end of the lone corridor. It was hard for him to assume that she actually slept there, since lately he had noticed with some concern the late hours she'd been keeping in her workroom. As for the room, if he had to make an estimate, the available space was roughly divided between the small bed and three large bookcases. In the week since he arrived in Corinth, he had perused the contents of one of the bookcases and found it to contain sources on foreign herbal remedies. He wasn't quite sure why an Elibean herbalist would own such materials, since none of the plants used were native to the country, but then he realized that perhaps this was her focus of study. The thought pleased him; there were precious few people devoted to the scholarly arts.

As was his wont, he selected a book at random for the day's study. It just wouldn't do to go through each row of books in order. Knowledge, and the lifelong quest for it, could never be traveled in a straight line. This was something he believed in fervently, and so he pulled out a thin book with all the anticipation of someone waiting their turn at the arena. He pored over the cover, then blinked. "'An Illustrated Guide to Elibe'?" he read aloud. "Perhaps this is a book Lily enjoyed in her childhood." Flipping open the book, he stared at the page for a long moment before blinking again.

Several pages later, he was entranced. The rolling fields of gold at harvest time in Pherae jumped out at him, vivid in its subtle use of shading between the golden stalks of wheat. Another page, and there was the fields of violets common to Etruria's Reglay province. Canas mentally gasped at the next page. _Oh, Bern's famous mountain range! Is that what the interior of a wyvern's den looks like? Ah, Edessa's spring of Pyrene! If only I was allowed to visit it...the artist must be a woman. Hm, is that..._

Several hours later, he realized that he was supposed to have breakfast with Lily.

-0-

Lily's teeth chattered as she strode through the village. Snowflakes liberally dotted her hair, but the big storm hadn't arrived yet. The spirits had already told her that the first real storm of winter would arrive in three days. She had done her duty and warned the villagers, who were now imbued with a frantic energy as they bustled to get their affairs in order before settling in to wait out the storm. It was the same with her; between preparing tea packets and treatments to give to each household and dragging supplies home so that she and Canas could ride out the blizzard, she was exhausted. However, she could rest once the storm came.

_Though, I would've liked to have breakfast_, she grumbled to herself as she stopped at Tinae's shop. After stomping a couple times to warm her feet, she knocked on the door. A moment passed while she blew into her gloved hands. The door swung open and there was Tinae herself, a slight woman whose delicate features belied her skill with the bow, as well as her lightning flashes of temper. She hunted, her husband cleaned and prepared the animals, and the entire family created such delicacies like devil's bread and ruffled venison alongside plainer fare like salted meats. The latter was in a large, marked barrel beside Tinae, who smiled up at Lily. "Lily, you look well. Would you like to come in for lunch? We're just starting it now."

Lily could tell; the scent of slow-cooked rabbit was currently conducting a takeover of her sensibilities. It had already conquered her nose. Unfortunately, a meal here meant having to deal with Tinae, who was a hard friend to like. "I'd love to, but I still need to give Corriban his daily dosage, and I have to brew that tea at home," she said, forming the words through a mouth that wanted nothing more than to savor hot food.

"You're always so good at making excuses," Tinae sighed, swiping dark blue bangs out of her eyes.

Frowning, Lily held out the curatives package. It wasn't the first time she had heard those words, but they were annoying to hear all the same. _And everyone feels the need to say them this time of the year, when the possibility of colds and pneumonia and sore throats are so commonplace_, she thought. "That's my ration, right?" she asked, gesturing with a sharp nod at the barrel.

Taking the package, Tinae gave Lily a searching look that the latter woman considered to be a pale imitation of her own mother's knowing eyes. "Oh, are you angry? You know I didn't mean it that way. I just wish you would rely on us more. I have plenty of food."

"But no vegetables or fruit." _Ah, why did I say that to _her? Lily wondered. _Maybe I'm too tired._

Tinae stamped a foot down in frustration, a common gesture for the mother of three. "Dried fruit is good enough! If you want to be pampered with all that other stuff, don't live in Ilia!"

It was hard for Lily not to smile at an older woman acting like a child, even if she was used to it. "Right. I'm very sorry if I implied that your meats aren't good enough." She ran a hand through her loose hair and studied the hopeful expression of the woman before her. "I suppose lunch would be a good idea--

_Canas would surely like it...oh, wait..._

--oh, I forgot! Never mind, I can't today." At Tinae's glare, Lily hastened to explain. "I need to feed my house guest."

"Oh, the man who sleeps in the snow," Tinae said in a dismissive tone. "I wonder if it might not have been better to have let him be."

Even though her friend was known for tactlessness, Lily's features hardened in disgust. "What's this? Has the coming of true winter frozen your heart? Our land may be cold, but that should only make us more warm to our guests as well as each other." She shook her head, trying to steer herself out of the dangerously idealistic mindset she had suddenly acquired. "Would you want others to say that Barigan's children are as chilly and unyielding as the land?"

Tinae said nothing for a long moment, and when she took a deep breath it looked to Lily like she was hesitant to say her next words. "You know how my son likes to travel to the best hunting grounds. He told me that they already say that. Etruria, Lycia's circle...they say that we sell death."

"Oh?" With a small, tight smile, Lily bent down to drag the barrel onto the porch. Suddenly, she just wanted to leave. "How is selling death any worse than buying it?" With a grunt, she managed to hoist the barrel a ways into the snow. "Good day, Tinae. I packed some extra vividam tea leaves for that nasty cough your husband's been having."

"Lily, wouldn't you like some help?" Lily heard Tinae call out as she began to drag the barrel towards her house in short bursts of movement. Still a little stung at Tinae's earlier comments, she deliberately raised her head and smiled at the hunter.

"Don't worry, I can handle everything myself."

Moving on, she pretended not to hear Tinae's retort. It was a common one that multiplied in intensity in the months after her parents passed away. "You're doing too much," they always said. "Let us help you. Let us take care of you like you do for us."

_But it's not their responsibility_, she thought as she jerked the barrel out of a thick clump of snow. _It's my job to take care of them. I can do that whether my parents are here or not. Their concern is appreciated, but it sounds so much like doubt..._

Ruthlessly, she cut off that thought. No one doubted her. She was capable and competent. They were just worried about her, and she supposed she would be worried too if she were them. After all, she was the last of her family. Any human being capable of concern would be sympathetic to her plight.

_What am I thinking? It isn't nearly that bad_, she told herself as she sighed and slumped over the top of the barrel. _I love everyone, but sometimes...I wonder if Iris had felt this way? _

Straightening out, she pushed her hair behind her ears before staring down at the barrel. After rolling up her sleeves, she hugged the barrel around its middle and hefted it out of the small drift she had maneuvered it into. A sliver of wood jabbed into the soft flesh of her forearm, causing her to jerk away in pain. Unsupported, the barrel fell onto its side. She stared at the dark line just right under the surface of her pale skin, then glanced at the fallen barrel that now sat on top of the drift she'd been trying to get it out of.

Putting one booted foot on the barrel's plump middle, she began to kick it to her house.

-0-

Freshly dressed, Canas exited the bedroom with another book in hand. He was more concerned about the clothing he was wearing than he was about the book, a first. Lily had asked him after the first few days if he had anything other than his traveling clothes, and he was surprised that she had thought that he would simply throw out his extra clothes in favor of more books. He had hastened to remove that idea from her mind, telling her how he had bargained with a connoisseur of ancient magic tomes over a particularly rare account of the magic the legendary heroes had used in The Scouring. In order to cover the final offer, he...well, he needed to sell something, and it turned out that the durable quality of Ilian-made clothes fetched quite the price when one considered how cold Lycia could be, snuggled between the mountains and sea as it was.

He could still remember the expression upon her face. It made him sorry he had answered.

In the end, she had sent him to the tailor's house with a note, and no matter how much he protested--which wasn't much, considering he did like the idea of warmer clothing--she could not be moved. She only told him that, while he lived under her roof, it was her responsibility to make sure he didn't freeze to death. In the light of such forthright kindness--and _the look_--all he could do was thank her profusely and do exactly as she asked.

_It is...strange_, he told himself as he walked into the small sitting room. There was a plate of bread, assorted containers of preserves, and a pot of tea set up on the table that stood between two antique couches. The setup of the furniture suggested that this was a true home, used to bustling families and the warmth they exuded, nothing like his mother's house. Sitting down, he poured himself a cup of cold tea before reaching for a slice of bread. It was a simple breaking of the fast, but even after a week of three meals a day he found it much to his liking. _All this...is quite strange, but I must admit that it feels rather...pleasant._

Still holding a bit of bread, he propped open the book with his other hand. The title, Trinity: The Magic Triangle of Anima, had caught his eye when he had finally torn himself away from the picture book. He ate as he read, occasionally pausing to write in the margins. Lily had assured him that she wouldn't mind, and he had seen her handwriting, small and careful, in her foreign remedies manuals. Another question occurred some paragraphs down, and after his annotation he prepared a proper slice of bread. The tartness of seyonne berries prodding his taste buds, the words of the tome stirring his highly developed curiosity--oh, it was a feast fit for a scholar-king! And, Canas remembered, it actually was according to the court account of the fifth king of Etruria.

When he finished his very late breakfast, he placed his drained cup on top of the crumb-littered plate and took it over to the metal bucket next to the door. Lily had insisted that she would do the dishes. Considering that the only available water happened to be sealed in the snow, he could see the logic in her reasoning. She was always very logical when she told him why he couldn't help with the chores. A thought occurred to him at this: _She takes very seriously the tenets of the master...err, mistress of the house and how to treat guests. Either that, or..._

He didn't have an 'or'. Maybe he didn't need to have one. In the past, when someone was gracious enough to let him into their home, he never analyzed why. It paled to the knowledge he could be gathering from books. But Lily...well, she was a book in and of herself. She was a source of knowledge about anima, and that was enough to warrant a healthy respect for her. But her generosity seemed to have no boundaries, and that was very strange in a land as barren and unforgiving as Ilia.

_Or perhaps it is _because_ she is an Ilian_? he asked himself as he opened the front door. It was snowing lightly, though the amount already on the ground suggested it had been heavier during the night. The wind blew, making him shiver and consider retreating back into the house, but every morning for the past week he had forced himself to take a short walk in order to acclimate himself to the weather. Growing up, his mother used to make him and his brothers stay outside all day when they complained too loudly about the cold, and since they were all still alive he supposed that it hadn't been quite that bad.

After all, the cold could freeze the body, but at least it left the mind intact.

He adjusted his monocle, even though there was no need, and stepped into the snow. After closing the door, he swiftly buried his hands deep into his sleeves, his arms forming a crude circle as chapped hands clutched the soft area on the underside of his forearms and tried to draw out as much of the warmth as possible. As he began his walk, he tried to keep comparisons between the chill and the brand of magic he practiced out of his mind. He was successful in the same way it was said Bramimond had been successful in controlling elder magic, which wasn't very much because Bramimond was said to be nothing more than a reflection, having lost its own identity in the trade for ultimate power.

_Is that where the use of elder magic will lead me? Is that...an inevitability?_ Closing his eyes, Canas stopped, letting the snowflakes drift onto him and feeling the slow burn of each as they touched his face. _It decimated the minds of my brothers, and yet I complied with Mother's wish. The thrill of knowledge is worth many sacrifices, but what is__ knowledge if I lack the facilities to comprehend and enjoy it?_

_And yet, I continue. Elder magic is a path to knowledge...in a way, becoming a scholar sealed my fate, even though my brothers did much more than simply subsist in those days..._

A dull sound, punctuated by an inarticulate cry, snapped him from his brooding. In the distance, there was a figure. After he grudgingly pulled out his hands and wiped his monocle, the figure appeared to be that of a woman. When the woman kicked something dark in front of her, it started moving. In fact, it seemed to be growing proportionally in width and length, and it was with a start that Canas realized it was headed directly at him. Two large steps to the side allowed him to comfortably avoid the object; when it passed him he observed it to be a barrel of considerable weight, if the furrow it was leaving behind was any indication. The woman began approaching, and it was that milky jade green of her hair--though with all the snowflakes it now had the appearance of a certain type of weed common to Sacae, which he hated to admit that he hadn't known was toxic until he ate one--that tipped him off that it was Lily. He smiled and waved, a greeting she returned. "Good morning, Lily!" He pointed behind him, where the barrel had stopped when it collided with a small drift. "Morning chores?"

"What?" she called back, and he arched an eyebrow in response. She wasn't that far away. After a short jog she was standing before him, her wide eyes the perfect match that her hair wasn't at the moment. "Excuse me, but I was listening to the spirits."

That was a phrase she used constantly. Even with all the tomes detailing anima's usage of the nature spirits, he had thought of it as some sort of meditation until he met her. The other mages and sages he had the opportunity to meet cared more about studying the written word than communicating with nature. "I see." The fancy to ask her if they had said anything of interest struck him, and he had to push that thought away. This wasn't the time for a lecture on the principles of communing with the spirits, not when he was freezing. "I asked if you were completing your morning chores."

"Morning?" She smiled at him in the same way she always smiled just before she corrected him. He was starting to get used to it. "It's at least an hour past noon."

"Ah...I didn't realize." Perhaps he had spent more time with the picture book than he had thought. "Did the spirits inform you of that?" Ruefully, he wondered why the pull of curiosity was so strong that he would set himself up for a long discussion while his nerves were screaming at him that it was cold, he was cold, get inside!

She closed her eyes and shook her head. "No, they don't care about the time. They just like being listened to." He furrowed his brow at this, not because he didn't understand, but because that sounded more human than he would've thought nature spirits to be. That made him wonder about a theory he had read once, one about the communication between sages and spirits being little more than the anima user making a little too much of their own mind's babble. Of course, that little tidbit came from a highly contentious tome written by a long-dead druid, and personally such an opinion was unacceptable for serious consideration since the source _was_ biased--

There was something on his cheek. After a moment, he realized it was Lily's hand, the touch of leather colder than the snowflakes. "Your eyes just glazed over," she informed him. She removed her hand and frowned at him. "You look so cold. Let's get you inside, and I'll start a nice fire and make lunch. I am _so_ hungry, but with the coming storm I scarcely have a moment of rest..." She continued in this vein as she took hold of his arm and began leading him to the house.

As they passed by the barrel, he finally had the presence of mind to ask, "Err...what about your current chores?"

She paused, glancing around until she spotted the barrel. "Oh, that? Don't worry about it. It looks like I'll have to melt the snow around it if I want to get it into the storeroom before dark."

Canas smiled. Finally, something he could help her with. "I can assist you, if you like."

"No, no, please don't concern yourself about it," she replied. It appeared to him that she was flustered by his offer. "You're a guest, after all."

"But...even if I am a guest, I plan on staying here for quite a while. At least through the winter. One could say that, with such an extended stay, I will become something of a fixture at your home." He was starting to become flustered himself, seeing how her expression was starting to become blank at his entreaties. Valiantly, he continued to try. "That would, err, supersede my 'guest' status, I would think."

She was silent for a few moments before she smiled. "You're very kind, and I appreciate that, but this isn't a topic of discussion when it's already so cold. Look, you're even shivering now."

"Oh, I, err..." He was about to continue his protest--not against the shivering, that he couldn't deny--but she was taking off her gloves and tucking them somewhere inside the folds of her cloak and touching his face with both hands and--

Warm. Her hands were warm.

Her eyes were closed, her teeth gritting behind parted lips. Canas resisted the urge to sink into the Sight to see if she really was casting magic; the answer was obvious in her strained expression. It was as his mother had told him, that very thing that caused him to drop everything and return to the country he had left years ago. The Albion line's inherited talent, an ability he had considered impossible.

The ability to memorize and recite spell incantations at will.

With a sharp gasp, she staggered back. He reached out and held her shoulders, steadying her. Her complexion was paler than usual, and it took a few moments before she opened her eyes. "Ah...I haven't done that in a while..."

"You...you can cast without the spell tome?" The thought of anyone having such power, when even the legendary heroes had needed tomes to anchor them, was almost too much for him.

She swallowed, and to him it didn't look like a comfortable action to take. "Of course I need that..." She moved away from him and reached under her cloak, pulling out a Fire tome. "When I was very young I needed to hold it, but as the words become one with my soul I just need to have it near me."

"I...Forgive me, but..." There were thoughts flaring in his mind, questions and learned bits of information tumbling over and into themselves until he simply stopped and attempted to untangle them.

"Some other time. Please." She smiled at him, a pale imitation of her normal smiles. This he was almost as sorry to see as that other look. "Do you feel warmer now?"

"I..." He hadn't realized it at the time, stunned at the use of her talent as he was, but he did feel much warmer now. "Yes, yes I do. I...thank you."

"Good." Now her smile was as bright as ever. "Let's eat."

-0-

Hunched over an old table, its top stained with the alchemical doings of years past, Lily stared intently at the sheet of paper in front of her. The light from the small lantern on the table glimmered weakly, revealing the dark, desiccated leaves on the paper. Picking one up, she rolled it between her thumb and index finger and watched it twist and crumble into dark flecks. Her mouth twisted in consideration as she continued to test the consistency between her fingers long after most of the leaf dotted the paper. After sniffing at her fingers and wincing as a sharp, bitter stink bit into her sinuses, she nodded in a slow, deliberate manner. _Not bad_, she thought, making sure the affected fingers stayed as far away from her mouth as possible. The idea of spending the next day--or more, by the sour potency of the smell--in the privy didn't appeal to her. _If Kelial gives me one more forlorn look whenever a lady invites him to dinner, I might scream. Only an Ilian can truly appreciate our style of cooking...ah, the horrors of being a foreigner and a bachelor..._

The thought was interrupted by her mind's image of Canas. In it, he was sitting on her couch and reading a thick tome while a steaming cup of tea went unnoticed on the table. It was a fairly accurate picture of what she usually saw when she came home for lunch and dinner. _He's not a foreigner, but that's hard to believe. He shows how cold he is far too easily_.

Sighing, she deposited the rest of the leaves into a small vial, leaving it on the paper as a reminder. After blowing out the lantern, she stood still and waited for the room to come into focus, first in lines and then into vaguely defined shapes, before making her way out. She entered the sitting room, intent on grabbing some snow just outside the front door and melting it at the hearth to clean off her fingers, but she stopped when she noticed that her house guest was there and engrossed in one of her tomes. He was reading by the low light of the hearth, and it made her wonder if that wasn't how he'd ended up needing a monocle. Though, how he managed to ruin only one eye escaped her at the moment.

"Ah, Canas. What are you doing out here?" she asked, confused. She was used to seeing a light from the partly-opened door of her old room; as far as she knew, he only read in the sitting room because that was where she put the meals and tea.

"Oh, Lily." She noted how tired he sounded and grew even more confused. Putting the opened book cover-up on his lap, he looked at her, the lit hearth casting shadows that granted a sort of genteel eeriness to his features. "I, ah, couldn't seem to find a respite from the ache in my back."

Lily shook her head at this. "I told you that you didn't need to help me, didn't I?" _But he just didn't listen_, she grumbled to herself. _It's like he uses his kindness to tunnel a way through a person._

"Yes, but--"

"It doesn't matter. Really." She yawned loudly, hiding the unseemly action behind a hand. "Please understand that I don't need you to pay me back with chores or money or anything of the like. Just appreciate the knowledge of my bloodline and I'll be happy."

_As long as you continue to respect us like you did at my parents' graves, it's enough._

"Your bloodline..." She heard the odd timbre in his voice and frowned. "I would not want to keep you from your rest, but I must ask this: Do you know why your heritage possess such a talent like enhanced memorization of the magic chants?"

For a long moment, she stared at him in disbelief. Maybe she was more tired than she thought she was. "Canas...do you believe that memorization is a...an _inherited_ talent?"

"Err...was I wrong?" If there had been more light, she imagined she would be able to see a flustered look on his face. She was getting very used to seeing it. Sighing again, she shook her head.

"We'll just say you aren't right and leave it at that for tonight." Barely registering the "oh, I see" that was his reply, she headed towards the front door. Wash her hands, go to bed, and continue the cycle of another day dealing with people who couldn't leave well enough alone...

She couldn't wait for the storms to hit.

-to be continued...-

"My mother would hold the tome and chant, right? Well, I just listened to her chants and practiced them over and over until I had memorized them!" --Nino to Erk, B support...but I suppose a lot of people knew that, right?

And, "I'm shocked. SHOCKED." (a la Forde) I wasn't expecting so many reviews right off the bat like that. Since I now respond to reviews via e-mail, I'd like to thank Rookie for their review of this story, Lao Who Mai for their review of _Vertigo_, and R Amythest for reviewing both! If you don't want to be thanked/responded to via e-mail, please inform me.


	3. Three Days

Shadows Under the Oak Tree

By Tenshi no Ai

(C) Intelligent Systems and Nintendo

-0-

3. Three Days: Song of the Sitting Room   
(_Elements. Hey baby, what's your affinity?_)

The fire, crackling merrily from the hearth, sounded faint to Canas' ears; indeed, for a while now it simply hadn't existed to him. It paled in comparison to the words of that great 6th century sage, Aerys of Etruria, who wrote an absolutely thrilling dissertation on the properties of the anima spell tomes in his famous Elements. Canas had read it six years ago, in no less a place than Aquleia's famous library, but he was more than happy to return to it. It was a very old copy, and the many annotations Lily's ancestors had written only made it all the more enjoyable to read. Lily had several comments strewn about, all focusing on the fragility of spell tomes and innate magical strength; in fact, most of the generational commentary seemed concerned with this area. Making a mental note to ask Lily about this, he continued to read.

After some time, he was jolted by a sudden clatter. He lowered the book to find Lily on the other side of the table, on which she had placed a teapot and two teacups. Smiling, he greeted her with, "Ah, Lily. What a coincidence, I had just thought about you."

She was smiling as she served him tea. "That's nice to hear. I hope I'm not interrupting," she replied, moving to serve herself. With a speed he hadn't even known himself to possess, he shook his head in adamant denial. Since yesterday, when the blizzard started, Lily had been occupied with preparing cures for the ailments sure to arise after the storm. With a small chuckle, she gestured to his cup. "I hope you'll like this blend. It's meseri leaves with tinin stems, good for aiding concentration."

"Meseri? That's an herb native to Etruria, is it not?" He took a sip, amazed at the body of the tea; it was very full, almost creamy, and yet there was a bit of a bite to it. "It's simply wonderful, like usual. I've never had anything quite as exquisite as these blends," he said, and he meant every word. His mother knew how to make any tea that contained the following characteristics: hot and bitter. 'Cooking' was something his mother attempted grudgingly.

"Mm, it is." Lily took a sip of the tea before she looked at him. "My family helped create a network between herbalists so that we are all properly supplied. Of course, there are some areas that can't be reached...but most of the time it's good enough."

"I see. That sounds like an effective system." Canas glanced down at the book in his lap. "Do you communicate with other anima users as well?"

"To some extent...mostly to Etrurians," she replied, smiling in such a way that struck him as odd. Being a relatively easy person to fluster, he thought he saw something of those same symptoms in her. "What about shamans?"

"Err...what about them?"

She waved one hand in a gesture he recognized but could not define. "Do you communicate with them?"

He had to think about it. "In a way of speaking. My mother is more predisposed to such a thing than I." _Or my brothers_, he thought with an inward sigh. _Though, that wouldn't be terribly difficult._

"I'm surprised."

"By what?"

"Well..." She took another sip of tea and he remembered that he hadn't touched his cup in a while. "You would seek out an anima user, but not someone who practices your own type of magic?"

Finishing off his cup in one gulp, Canas tried to organize his thoughts. Truth be told, it wasn't a favorite subject of his, but for Lily's sake he would try. "While I do study elder magic, I find I'm rather more interested in how the other magic systems work at the present moment. Once I've become more proficient in understanding how anima and light magic work, perhaps I can use that knowledge to unlock some of the deeper secrets of elder magic."

"Ah." He blinked at the wide-eyed look of wonder on Lily's face as she leaned over to pour him another cup of tea. "I'm impressed. I would've thought the systems to be diametrically opposed and therefore incomparable."

"Really? I cannot imagine why. After all, they all rely on both innate magical strength as well as their respective tomes."

"Oh, certainly. But their individual systems are much more complicated than that, don't you think?"

"Certainly so. However, they all come from a greater source than their parts."

"That's...not very complex." A realization seemed to strike her, judging by the surprised expression on her face. Canas was fascinated by her willingness to engage in such a debate and eagerly awaited her next words. "But what about staves? Is that also considered light magic, since its users are mainly of Elimine's flock, or is it its own magic since nonbelievers of the Church can use them? Or do we even consider it magic in the sense that staves aren't used for direct attacks?"

His eyes widened at the new sphere of thought. What Lily just asked was something he had never truly considered. He had even studied for a time at a monastery in Lycia--though he was quickly ushered out once the priests discovered his lineage's history in magic that was anathema to them--and had seen the sisters and priests with their staves while acolyte monks wielded holy tomes. Yet, his own mother could use staves, but she was disgusted by the Elimineans' blind faith and inability to seek true knowledge.

"I...I truly do not know," he began, the beginning of a wide smile on his face as his mind began churning out hypotheses and conjectures. "Perhaps you could assist me in finding a plausible answer?"

Lily smiled. "Well, there really isn't anything else to do, is there? Sure, I'd be happy to."

They debated until there was nothing left save a few cold drops in the teapot.

-0-

"There is something that I have just noticed."

Lily, who was carrying a tray with two bowls of winter stew, glanced at Canas. He was sitting as close to the hearth as possible while on the couch, his attention to the walls instead of the book on his lap. "...Oh?" she uttered, making her way to her side of the table to set down the tray. "And does it have to do with my house?"

"Actually, yes." He turned to her, and if it wasn't for the monocle, his open, friendly expression would've made him look young. As it was, it made him look as if he was in the midst of dignified curiosity. Smiling--_well, there goes the dignity_, Lily observed--as he gestured to her bare walls, he stated, "There are no windows in the sitting room."

After a long moment of simply staring at her house guest, Lily remembered to give him his bowl. "Do I...need windows here?" she asked, unsure of what else to say.

"Err..." Holding the bowl awkwardly in his hands, Canas looked to her like he was surprised by the question. "Well, truthfully...I don't quite know. In Etruria and Lycia, every room had at least one window. The homes of the well-to-do were judged on the extravagance of their front windows. They do provide adequate air circulation, and you can see the world outside..."

_Because there is so much to see_, Lily thought as she picked up her bowl. "I've seen snow before. Many times, in fact. And if there was anything else worth seeing, I'd already be outside." Taking a draught of the stew, which was more like a thin broth that she had tried vainly to thicken with dried meats and herbs, she chewed thoughtfully on a chunk of meat before swallowing. "Do you think it's too hard to breathe in here?" Maybe he was trying to tell her something? It wasn't his style to be so subtle, but he wasn't quite as easy to read as her fellow villagers.

He was staring at her after she took another gulp of stew. Then, almost reverently, he took his first sip from his bowl. "Interesting flavor," he commented. "I don't think it's hard to breathe in here at all. The scent of the logs, mixed with the aromas of your teas and meals...it is rather like a true home."

"Oh." She wasn't sure if that was an oblique compliment about her housekeeping skills, or just a polite statement. In the end, it was easier to be gracious. "Thank you. I'll admit that it was more lively in here when my parents were alive, but...a home should be filled with comfortable feelings, not grief."

The glance he threw at her made her frown; it almost seemed as though he had been struck. "Indeed," he agreed, though he sounded distant. It reminded her of his reaction to finding out her parents' fate, and suddenly she wanted nothing more than to move on. A moment of silence stretched into two, then three, while they sipped at their soups and discomfort prickled under her skin. By chance, her attention was drawn to the book on his lap.

"Oh, you're reading Elements," she remarked. After their extensive conversation on magic yesterday, she realized that, while he was completely lacking in common sense, he made it up with a shining intelligence that far exceeded hers.

_It's because he's traveled for such a long time_, she told herself while finishing off her bowl. _There are so many things that can only be learned by leaving home, even if materials _are_ sent to me..._

She cut down that thought. It was an act of mercy; she was too old to think of such things now. And yet--

_Iris..._

--not all thoughts were so easily controlled.

"Lily?" When she looked at him, shadows and light fighting for dominion on his face, she was struck by another thought: _How appropriate_. "Is something wrong?"

"Of course not," she said, smiling out of habit. Only her parents had known when something was bothering her, even through her smiles, so she was surprised when he actually frowned a bit. "What's that face for?"

"Ah, nothing. Forgive me." There was a pause, then Canas smiled and tapped the cover of the book. "I find that Elements is perhaps the most comprehensive work on the anima system, so I was quite elated to find it on your shelves."

"Oh, you've read it before?"

"Yes, in Aquleia."

Lily had to think about that for a moment; geography was never her strong point. "That would be Etruria's capital, right?"

"Yes, the capital. A truly wonderful place. It is well deserving of its title as Elibe's pinnacle of culture." Shifting a bit, he took another gulp from the bowl before placing it on the tray. "I especially enjoyed their library and magic schools."

Despite the slight sense of wistfulness creeping in her chest, she smiled. "My, that does sound nice. With all those resources, I'm even more surprised that you would come all the way up here just to learn from my parents." _Is my ancestry that famous?_ she pondered, and a light blush warmed her cheeks at the swell of pride that arose with the question. She giggled suddenly. "I mean, if you were in Etruria, you could've even visited, say, their mage general..." Her blush darkened, but she knew it wasn't because of her swollen ego.

"Oh, that is true. However, I was fairly young when I visited, not even eighteen." Through the haze of her happiness, she dimly noted that Canas seemed a bit out of sorts. "I was traveling the continent to hone my skills in elder magic, but I, err, was sidetracked. Either way, at the time Etruria's mage general was a rather gruff man who cared little for visitors, or so the students of the schools had told me."

_Not even eighteen?_ she wondered, but she was too focused on her train of thought to care. "Well, now the mage general is a very young man, around twenty or so. He's the count of Reglay..." _How fortunate that the only light in here is from the hearth_, she thought as her heart happily thudded in her chest, _it wouldn't do to look so smitten for a man younger than myself. A married one, at that!_ Embarrassed, she waved a hand about, trying to downplay her feelings while she said, "W-well, my friends in Etruria tell me so much about their news, and any news about an anima user is always of interest to me!"

._..That was a little obvious_, she fretted to herself.

"My, really? That _is_ young. He must be quite talented, but..." She noticed his flustered expression and raised an eyebrow. "Can he cast magic without holding the tome?"

_Ah. I was wondering when he would ask again._ "Probably not," she answered quietly, her good humor draining away as she anticipated his questions with the grim determination of someone facing brigands. She was the last of her lineage. She would not do her family a disservice by showing that she forgotten their lessons, their history...no. Canas was intelligent, but anima was her lifeblood.

_As long as it is just about casting magic, it's fine. At least he only knows about that._

His voice was soft, anticipation crackling through like the fire through the logs in the hearth. "You told me before that your family's talent was not inherent memorization. I recall you saying that the words become one with your...soul. That sounds like the Elimineans' method of casting their light magic."

"It's much different. The Elimineans put their faith in the belief that they are guarded by some divine spirit. I've talked to many spirits, but I've never spoken to a divine one." Pursing her lips, she looked at his face and only saw rapt attention. "What I'm talking about goes beyond the categories of magic, but rather the method of casting itself.

"As you are well aware, casting magic comes from both the spell power of the tome as well as our own innate magical power. That is how we cast magic today, that was how it was cast during the dragon-human war. But before that, before there were even books...how was magic cast?" Lily spread her arms. "Once, magic was cast using nothing more than our own control and strength. My bloodline is dedicated towards finding out why we can't do that anymore, and a way to do it. To that end, we're trained from birth to memorize the incantations before we're allowed to learn how to read them. The written word only gets in the way."

The look on Canas' face changed from interest to a bewilderment Lily had, up to this point, only associated with very young children a second after a favorite toy was taken away. Thankfully, he didn't start bawling; instead, he gaped at her like the gutted fish she had once seen at a festival in Edessa."I-is that...err, that is...could it be..._possible_?"

She shrugged. "Like I just said, it was once."

"To cast magic without a tome..."

"Mm-hm."

It struck her that he usually seemed to be fluctuating between shades of confusion, bewilderment, and bemusement, which was odd considering how devoted he was to learning. _Ah, it's probably because he learns too much_, she thought. _Father always did say that focusing on too many things at once was bound to lead someone astray. Or was that Mother? Well, in their last years they were almost like echoes of each other._

Finally, something happened. Canas smiled widely. "_My_...if this is true, your family could be at the forefront of magical theory! Not just the forefront, but you could be the key to discovering new forms of magic, completely demolishing old constrictions...you could revolutionize Elibe--no, perhaps even _that_ is too minor--"

"Please, please, let's not get carried away here," she said, waving her hands in an emphatic way, as if that would cast a spell to silence him. "We aren't doing it for that! Honorable Albion only wanted to hone that skill to bring relief to Ilia. All we have ever wanted is to able to nuture crops, not, not any of that other stuff." It appeared to Lily that he didn't understand when he stared at her in a perplexed manner. For what it was worth, she couldn't understand him either. "Revolutionize Elibe? It's doing fine as is, isn't it?"

_Scholars_, she grumbled. _You give them an herb, and suddenly they want an apple tree!_

"Err...yes, yes it is. But a common thread I have observed while studying the last five hundred years of magical theory is its stagnation due to the unfortunate belief that we have learned all that we can out of tome-usage." It occurred to Lily that Canas was probably in his own mad little world, and she wasn't sure whether to feel responsible for it or annoyed. "Now, your proposal opens up a whole new dimension of theory. Perhaps with it we can discover the inner workings to magic itself, and not just how to manipulate it."

Annoyed. It had to be annoyance. Now she fully understood why honorable Albion had left Edessa to create his own sanctuary. Never mind that people followed him once they had heard of his dream, but they had been inspired by hope. She wasn't sure what Canas was being inspired by, but she knew she didn't want to have any part of it. "And what will you do with this knowledge? I mean, other than tearing down the foundations of magical theory for the sake of inspiring new thoughts? You think all the time, so why do you need new ones? Are you going to save Ilia from centuries of destitution? Will playing with theories and conjectures save lives?"

"...I have offended you, haven't I? My apologies. I..." He looked sheepish now, and Lily realized that she had been shouting. "I did get carried away, but it is only because I find what your family has been trying to do so fascinating. The potential implications of such research are overwhelming..."

Embarrassment tumbled in her stomach, and she looked away from his earnest, sheepish expression in discomfort. "No, I was...I can't comprehend knowledge for the sake of knowledge. I like magical theory, and I enjoyed our conversation about it last night, but this is so much more important to me...it isn't something to be trifled with. It's the reason we have toiled away here for centuries..." She smiled wistfully, touched by the lingering fingers of a long-lost dream. "The pegasus knights fight to bring us a temporary solution. I admire them. However, if it's possible, I want to live in an Ilia where lives do not have to be sacrificed so that others may live."

"I admire that way of thinking. It is...truly Ilian." At those words, she stared at him. His smile was brighter than Ilia's sun, and she was strangely affected by its warmth. It was easy to forgive and forget at such simple words, but when he smiled like that...she realized once again, even through the shadows dancing on his face, that his eyes were full of pure understanding.

_An intelligent heart that understands and accepts...it's so strange. What is this feeling?_

_It's so nice._

-0-

_Ah, what a wonderful tome_, Canas thought as he finished the afterword of Elements. _Truly, my mother does herself harm by not understanding the value of the anima system. I wonder if Lily would be more open to learning about elder magic, or perhaps even borrowing one of my tomes? It is a small sum towards what I owe her for her kindness, but knowledge _is_ its own reward. Lily seems to understand that. _

He liked the sound of that. After the last two days, his already high respect for her had grown exponentially. If she chose to understand his family's magic system as he was hers...well!

"What are you so happy about?" Lily's voice reached his ears. Glancing up from the closed tome, he opened his mouth to greet her.

He stared.

Where there was once a thick, loose dress that covered everything between neck and feet, there was now a white dress that tightly encased healthy curves. The hem of the dress only lingered at mid-thigh, where aquamarine stockings met the challenge of hiding the flesh underneath. A stiff aquamarine collar covered Lily's neck; billowy white sleeves floated just above her elbows, leaving pale arms bare. Canas was an Ilian by birth, but he didn't have to be Ilian to know that uniform; the pegasus knight brigade of the Knights' Union of Ilia was famous--or infamous--the continent over.

She had noticed he was staring, though he considered that it would be harder not to; he was quite certain his mouth was still open. "Is it...really so bad?" she asked in a wary tone, her hands clasped in front of her body.

"No." He blinked, then realized he really should avert his attention and reply with something more substantial. "It's...err, rather flattering."

"Really? Thank you. It's something I wear only at home. This is made of the same material as the real uniforms, so it's very comfortable and warm." Sitting down, she plunked an unlabeled bottle and two small cups onto the table.

He tapped a finger against the back cover of the tome as he thought about what she had just said. "It's only a replica? Why would you own something like that?" he finally asked. Lily, as a wing-borne warrior soaring through the skies on the back of a pegasus, made for an easy image in his mind. He imagined that, as long as it did Ilia some good, she could do anything.

A small smile flitted along her lips as she tucked her hair behind her ears. "My mother made it for me a couple years ago, for my twenty-first affinity cycle. When I was a child, it was my dream to become a pegasus knight, but..." She sighed and threw her hands up. "I've learned since then that even serving the smallest places can be just as important as fighting for an entire country."

"Certainly an admirable goal either way," Canas agreed. _Twenty-first affinity cycle...a couple years ago?_ his mind saw fit to alert him. In the pegasus knight uniform, she looked more like a girl in the full blush of maidenhood than her long, formless dresses would have him believe. Now that he thought about it, her personality made her seem older than her features would have him believe. _A couple years ago...if that is a literal statement, we are the same age. Yet, she looks rather young..._

Not that he looked very old himself, he amended. His mother had quite the fondness of calling him a child whenever she materialized in his life.

"I had thought you to be younger," he said. Lily laughed at this and sat down, pouring something from the bottle and offering a cup to him. "Thank you," he said automatically before taking a sip. Liquid fire raced down his throat and he coughed and sputtered while somehow making sure the rest of his cup didn't spill onto his new clothes.

"Never had 'poor man's fire', have you?" Lily asked with a grin. "The storm's going to break tomorrow morning, so I only carried enough logs for up to this evening. My mother was very frugal, so we would all drink this on the last night." She leaned back, and Canas thought there was something fragile in the way she lifted her cup to her lips. "Iris hated it, and she used to tell me that it was a nasty drink, but...I felt like I was finally an adult when Father allowed me to have some."

He couldn't help but frown at the tumble of words. "Iris?" he asked. He didn't remember her ever mentioning that name.

"My sister." Lily took a final gulp, then reached to pour herself another drink. "She was five years older than me." She paused, her eyes flickering to meet his before returning her attention to her drink. "She died around eight years ago."

_Oh..._ Bowing his head, Canas adjusted his monocle. _Her sister, then her parents...what a sad set of circumstances. I am not accustomed to physical death, so I don't know what to say...I wonder if there is anything to say._ "I...I am sorry for your loss," he managed out. At a loss for words, he sipped his drink and winced as it seared down his throat. An oozing warmth spread from his abdomen outwards, and he couldn't help but shudder at the alien feeling.

Lily, almost too young in her very different attire, was staring at him in a haunted way when he looked up again. "It's fine," she said in a hollow voice. "I can't do anything about it. She's the one who left, anyway."

The feeling that he had stepped into something not unlike Caelin's peat bogs was jabbing at him with the same frequency as his curiosity. Sometimes they seemed to be the same thing. "Why did she leave?"

"I don't know." Lily smiled, and to Canas it looked grim. The uniform she wore didn't help; she looked like she was only smiling because it was either that or crying. He had the unfortunate fate of being able to tie an actual memory to the thought; a year before he had witnessed a few bloodstained pegasus knights dragging themselves into the Tanian inn where he had been staying. The innkeeper had thrown them out, no matter their entreaties or that they were able to pay for a room many times over, calling them crows, ravagers of corpses.

_If Iris had stayed, Lily might've succeeded in fulfilling her dream_, he thought, then shuddered. Talons of a vicious thought reached out to him, scraping across his mind and leaving behind a chill. He dodged its full intention, twisting the thought into something more palatable, something he could acknowledge as his own.

_I was lucky to meet Lily here, where she truly belongs._

Yes, that was a much nicer thought.

"Oh, this sort of thing isn't something I like to talk about," she announced, looking all at once bashful and irritated. "You're a guest, after all. Didn't you say something? What was it again, please?"

"I, err..." The ease in which she was able to shift back into her usual persona momentarily stunned Canas. _Oh, what was it...perhaps it was concerning her affinity month? _"What month were you born, I believe." Scant seconds after he said that, he realized he had been curious about her current age, but then his mother came to mind. _Mother is sensitive about her age...I think I have tried Lily enough tonight._

It seemed to him that she appreciated the question, judging from her soft smile and the fact that she was no longer throwing the contents of her cup down her throat. "Month of the spear."

"Oh, really? A wind affinity?"

"Mm. And yourself?"

"Month of the pegasus. Err, that would be--"

"I know. Anima, right?" Her smile had mellowed, and even the way she waved down his words seemed slower. Or was that the lulling heaviness that was settling over him? "Aren't you going to drink? The logs are almost charred through."

He had no desire to finish his drink, but out of politeness he took another sip. This one went down more easily than the first or second, and the heaviness seemed more pleasant. "In Cereon's Hidden Traits of Affinities, he mentioned the theory that some months are more analogous than others. For instance, to put a person who was born in the month of the arrow with one born in either the month of the pegasus or wyvern would cause both parties to feel a certain amount of discomfort around each other." After so many words, finishing his cup seemed necessary to soothe his dry throat.

"Hm. That's more the fortuneteller's fare than mine, but that's nice." Shadows scattered over her face as the fire from the hearth began to dim, and to Canas it seemed as though they made her look weary, almost depleted. _It's the drink_, he thought distantly, _I don't imbibe liquor on a regular basis, and so it affects me quite strongly...but I do feel warm._

"It is," he thought he heard himself murmur. "After all, our months are naturally compatible."

"Well, they are both common to Ilia." Her voice was drifting around him. Closing his eyes only made the effect more prominent.

"In...indeed." Even during the Lycian summers he had never felt this warm. It was pleasant. "Perhaps there is some truth to it," he might've said. It didn't matter.

"Well, I don't dislike you. In fact, I appreciate your company very much. It helps..."

Perhaps Lily said that, or perhaps not. Perhaps it was all a dream. A wonderful dream without shadows and emptiness and all the dark things his mother wanted him to conquer. Something full of promise, unlike the pale faces of his brothers, deep in their eternal slumbers, or the abyss that yawned before him, ready to devour his mind and identity at the first sign of weakness.

He needed more dreams like Lily's words.

-to be continued...-

Several quotes might fit, but I'll go for this one: " I was born in the month of the archer! We have zero compatibility! I would shoot you down every time!" Farina to Kent, B support (and she's right, because a rate of one for support growth really sucks).

Lack of e-mail thank yous go out to Lemurian-Girl and Phoenixfire1389.

By the way, let me just say this now: It says 'Biweekly serial' in the summary for good reason. Thanks for reading, and I still accept all comments, questions, and sage advice!


	4. Magic

Shadows Under the Oak Tree

By Tenshi no Ai

(C) Intelligent Systems and Nintendo

-0-

4. Magic  
(_Magic is a weapon. Never forget that._)

_Next time I should try a drop of lavender with my bath oil. That would do wonders for my skin._

With a sigh of pleasure, Lily ran a hand through her wet hair. Short bursts of heat tingled through her fingers as she read from the Fire tome on her lap. Her mother had encouraged her to utilize her magic in tiny ways like this, though her father had been aghast at the idea when she was a child; he had been afraid she would limit herself from realizing the potential in her blood. Even when she had grown into her powers and learned the destructive reality of anima magic, he would still shake his head as she channeled heat through her fingers to warm the blankets before bedtime. Her mother would only laugh, and it wouldn't be long before he would grudgingly agree that it was handy for Lily to learn such droll ways to control magic.

_But, irial flowers with lavender...hm. Well, maybe. At least it isn't patchouli...oh, that's just horrible!_

Once her hair was dry, she tucked the tome inside the pocket of her dress and put on her gloves before standing up to straighten out her clothes. Boots, two layers of stockings, an underskirt, a shirt, a dress, a scarf...going outside, even for the very short walk to the bath, was a journey in and of itself right after a blizzard. She looked at the dirty bath water for a long moment before turning away; after enjoying her bath, it was just too much work to get the bucket and start dumping out the water. After telling herself that she would empty it out later, she headed towards the door.

_I wish I had more vanilla. That goes so nicely with irial. But since Grandma Yunice was willing to make two meat pies for that vial, it was worth it. I was really getting tired of broth, and I think Canas was too. All right, lavender it is._

She emerged from the tiny bathroom, which was attached to the other side of the sitting room; as far as Lily knew, this was typical for the average Ilian house. Canas had raved about the architectural sensibility in placing the tub on the other side of the hearth, thereby using one heat source with maximum efficiency. With a smile, she had listened to him while she wondered how wasteful the other countries were that this would be a source of amazement for him. The only problem was that the hearth was much too big to put a door next to it that would lead to the bath, which led to the inconvenience of having to run outside every time anyone wanted a bath. She had to wonder what the 'architectural sensibility' was in _that_.

_But if I use one drop, why not two? I've got a surplus as is...oh, I really shouldn't. The last time I did that, that whole sagebrush fiasco happened--_

"Miss Lily." Before her stood Rosliand, a villager who had once served as a scout for the Union. The older woman's face was a study in emotional control as her light blue hair and dark blue cloak flapped in the wind. "Bandit problem."

Without even acknowledging the woman, Lily bolted down the remaining few steps to her door and yanked it open. Hanging off of the door was a satchel, the strap of which she grabbed and threw around her shoulders before spinning around to leave.

"Lily?" she heard Canas say in an alarmed tone. "Is something--"

"Stay inside!" she snapped. A large part of her coiled uncomfortably at her rudeness, and she couldn't help but make amends. Glancing at the scholar on her couch, she pursed her lips in a grimace that played at being a smile and said, "I'll tell you later. Just stay inside for now." With that, she ran outside, the contents of her bag banging against her back. A slow burn in her chest made her ache with every pant and gasp as she followed Rosliand.

This wasn't the time to panic. She was the guardian of the village, no matter the problem.

She slowed down as she reached the village square. Against the white of the snow and the brown of the houses she could make out her friends, her fellow villagers, and that sight alone was enough to make her straighten her posture and take measured, steady steps towards them. It would've been nice if that was how she truly felt, confident even as the wind blew at her back and brought chills down her spine. The only footsteps she could hear were her own, each crunching step a reminder of past years, when her parents walked beside her and she knew that she wasn't alone.

"How many are there?" she asked, examining the others. The way they held their weapons brought an uneasy feeling churning in her stomach. Before, they only carried weapons as a precaution should the fighting ever reach the village. Now, with the way the iron axe rested on Gouterry's shoulder, with the way Tinae's bow was tightly strung, with the way Kelial held his lance instead of leaning on it and favoring his wounded right leg... With the way they looked, Lily could've sworn they actually intended to fight. A small burn of emotion seared the inside of her throat at the implication.

_Without my parents, they don't trust me to protect the village to the fullest._

Rosliand stepped forward, her heavy cloak obscuring the shape of her body. Lily knew that the sword hidden under the cloak was for defensive measures, which made her relax somewhat. At least the retired scout wasn't going to side with the others. "Miss Lily," the woman said with a nod of deference, "they are twelve strong. Half axes, half swords. The snow is difficult for them to traverse, so chances are good that they will be forced to send a scouting party."

"That will make them easier to deal with, then," Lily mused. She didn't want to address the others, but they just wouldn't leave. "Well, that seems to be all, unless you have something to tell me," she said, giving the three in question a pointed stare.

Tinae stepped forward and Lily inwardly sighed. It was a reflex. "We're coming with you," the hunter announced. "You'll need our help."

"That's a kind gesture," Lily said, and to her ears it didn't sound as hostile as she was beginning to feel. "Please, just do what you've always done and go see to your families and neighbors. This won't be any different from the other times."

"Lily, stop being stubborn!" Tinae stamped a foot down, making an audible crunch that punctuated her statement. "You need us! You can't possibly think you can do this by yourself!"

"Come on, Lady Lily," Kelial started, his honeyed voice already making Lily nauseous, "be reasonable. I'm sure you could take anyone on. I've seen you in action before, and you're pretty impressive. But..." Here he smiled at her, dark eyes twinkling. "That doesn't mean you have to, or that you should."

Her chest tightened as she tore her gaze from him. It had been three years since he first arrived in the village, and it was still unnerving how he could affect anyone with that smile, that voice, those eyes. It was as if he could pull anyone to him. Self-consciously, she rubbed her arms and pretended it was from the cold. "Let me assure you that, if I need your help, I will ask for it," she stated, feeling stronger just from speaking her mind. "Furthermore, if you're straining that leg even after all the times I've told you not to, I'm going to tie you to your bed after this."

Kelial looked surprised, a sight Lily could appreciate. Then he nodded. "Yeah, and I know you'd do it." He paused, then smiled at her. "Not that I would dislike it, but--"

"Go home."

"Yes'm."

As Kelial hobbled away, Lily noticed Tinae's look of surprise. "Hey! Where are you going?" she yelled, a sudden wind damping down much of the volume. Kelial half-turned, his smile still in place.

"Might go to Granny's just to see if she needs any protecting. I still agree with you, but what's the use of a wyvern rider without a wyvern, especially in open combat?" Turning away, he shrugged. "If I see another axe racing towards me ever again, it'll be a lifetime too soon." With those words, he left, using his lance to struggle his way through the shin-high snow.

"Gouterry," Lily said. The man, imposing and with his axe still resting on his shoulder, turned to face her. "Please help him to Grandma Yunice's. I'll prepare something to dull the pain once I'm finished here."

"You might not make it back," the woodsman replied. Lily had to smile at that; blunt statements from Gouterry were a lot easier to stomach than the same from Tinae.

"Neither might he, with all this snow." Dropping her smile, she said in complete seriousness, "The only thing you're used to chopping is wood. It's a lot different to hit a fellow human with a weapon like that. Kelial could tell you about that, I'm sure." She watched his expression shift from impassiveness to a curled lip of disgust. "Your son is waiting for you. All he has now is you. It's...it's a sad thing to live without one's parents." She swallowed tightly and tried not to think about anything more than the present moment.

Slowly, Gouterry lowered the weapon. "I'll trust you on that, Miss Lily." Without waiting for a response, he lumbered after Kelial.

"The same goes for you, Tinae," Lily said after a moment. There was a sudden shift in the temperament of the spirits, something that told her that she didn't have much time left if she wanted to confront the brigands outside the village like she was taught. "Killing a human is a lot different from killing an animal."

"I don't need a lecture from you!" Tinae shouted. "I won't leave! I can't--_won't_ let you go off by yourself just so you can get killed!"

A vague feeling thudded behind Lily's eyes. _A headache_, she thought dully. _After all these years, she's finally driven me to a headache._ "Your youngest is only five. Daughters need their mothers the most in those years," she said, closing her eyes. Wistfulness creeped over her as she continued with, "I know I certainly did."

"Stop it. I know what you're trying to do, so stop it." When Lily opened her eyes, she was greeted with an unusual sight: a weary-looking Tinae. The hunter had slung her bow alongside the quiver that hung from her hips. "You don't need to prove anything to us. We think you're just as good as your parents. We just want to help you."

Clenching her hands into tight fists, Lily turned away. "Rosliand, which direction?"

"Southeast."

"Thank you. Tinae..." With a sigh, Lily glanced behind her. The woman was standing stock-still, and it reminded Lily that Tinae was a good hunter for a reason. Time was slipping away, Lily knew this, but she hated the idea of leaving a bad situation open for infection. "I thank you for your willingness to help. Honestly, I do. But...my family has always protected this place. Even if many of my ancestors have died doing so, we'll continue." She tried to laugh, tried to keep things friendly and light. "After all, it's our fault all of you even bothered to come out here to live, so it's the least we can do."

"But you're the last one."

_She would feel the need to point that out,_ Lily thought darkly. Returning her gaze to the entrance of the village, she ignored the nervous chattering of the spirits swirling around her. "I don't have any intention of dying today." And because the need to have the last word was heightened by the knowledge that she was wasting too much time, she began to walk. After a minute, she glanced to her left, where Rosliand was keeping in step. "What is it?" she asked in a weary tone. It was really too much trouble to trudge through the snow _and_ be angry at the same time.

The corners of the former scout's lips quirked up in a smile. "I'll do what I can to help."

"Oh, good." Lily knew that Rosliand's idea of help tended to be non-invasive. "We were lucky that the last delivery had some Light Runes. They should be in the general storeroom. I'll do my best to make sure we don't need them activated."

"I'll do what I can to help," Rosliand repeated, and then the only footsteps Lily could hear were her own.

With each step, fear and nervousness thudded in her chest at the same frantic rate as her heart...no, they were the same, weren't they? She wasn't sure, didn't want to think if it was a good or bad thing to feel this way, this much. Had she ever felt like her heart was going to force its way out of her chest when her parents were beside her? Even with them, going off to defend the village couldn't have felt like a trip up the mountain to collect herbs. Maybe it was natural to feel this way.

It wasn't just because she was alone.

_But I have to do this by myself_, she argued in the depths of her mind. _I've done this before. I've proven myself to my parents. I've done this for years. My parents were confident in my skill. I can't let anyone else get hurt. If it's just me..._ She took a deep breath and let it out in one shuddering exhalation.

_There's no use thinking like this_. _The only thing that matters is protecting the village and everyone in it. Mother and Father may not be here in body, but they are one with the spirits of ice and snow. As long as I am home, I will never be alone._

The wind picked up, its icy touch a caress against the bare skin of her face. She closed her eyes for a moment, listening to the mellow whistle of the wind. In it, she heard an affirmation of what she believed in, despite her doubts.

_This is my home_.

In the distance, she saw large shapes moving in a slow, troubled manner. She counted four unique shapes, and even when she stood still they continued to approach. As the odd figures neared, it seemed to her that human characteristics--an arm here, the movement of hair there--began to materialize until four humans were approaching her. Her heart continued to pound, determined to reach some sort of crescendo, but it was with anger as much as fear. She could appreciate that; it gave her something else to focus on.

Reaching towards her satchel, she pulled at its bulk until the strap allowed her to hold the bag against her chest.

The brigands had seen her too. Though they were so near now, the way they were wielding their weapons--two axes, two swords--suggested that they weren't in a hurry to attack just yet. She gripped the bag to her and, cramming her nervousness down so it wouldn't show up in her voice, stood as tall and proud as she was sure her honorable ancestors had. "Turn back," she said, hiding her surprise at the fact that her voice sounded strong and clear. "This isn't a place for you."

"Well, why don't you let us decide that for ourselves?" The brigand who asked that stepped forward, a mountain among his companions. "Get out of our way. It'd be a shame to hurt a pretty girl like you." There was a low murmur from the others just before they exploded in abrasive laughter.

Lily narrowed her eyes. Lightly, she touched the side of her bag, using her innate magical senses to probe for the right tome. When she found it, she pursed her lips before saying, "I don't wish to hurt you. Turn back."

The axeman who seemed to be the head of the scouting party scoffed at her words and stepped forward. "Isn't that cute. Listen, this is Ilia. You don't survive by flinging around empty words."

"So, instead you survive by raiding villages that are barely able to sustain themselves?" she asked in derision. In her mind, ancient words flowed like water running down the mountain; a bit bumpy, with concepts that twisted and turned even as she grasped their meaning. With her free hand, she traced the runes of the three forms of anima against her thigh and hoped that the brigands would mistake the movements of her fingers for fidgeting.

"We do what we have to," the brigand retorted. He approached her with steady steps as he held the axe so that the flat of the blade rested against the large palm of his other hand. "You fight, or you die." His smile was a grim line in a stone-like face. "Sorry, girl."

With the final word of the incantation echoing throughout her body as a series of magic tremors, she nodded. "As am I." She took a step back just as she had been trained to do, let the magic gathered from the tome roll through her arm like thunder across the sky, and waved her free hand in a dismissive gesture.

A golden streak of lightning fell and struck the man dead.

Grimacing from the ache of her own mana loss, that much more because of the effort it took to internalize the process of casting magic instead of simply shouting the chant, she shrugged the satchel off of her so as to not let it hinder her movement. The Fire tome hidden in her dress was in her hands before the brigands could even react to their comrade's death, and she screamed words from a forgotten time. Even though she was firmly rooted in the normal level of perception, she could still see the streaks of energy before her that made up the spell sigil, which was shaped from her own understanding of the incantation. Without thinking, she directed some of the tome's energy into the vertices of the sigil, transmuting it into the essence of fire. With her left hand she pointed at the next nearest bandit and let the fireball fly. The screams he made after his weapon arm was struck by the spell, the roaring flames consuming flesh, wood and metal with the same blind hunger, made her shudder.

_This is magic_, she thought. When she was a child, she had thought that with a simple sort of awe. When she was old enough to accompany her parents, that awe had turned into dread. She felt neither of those now, but her feelings had become much more complex in her adulthood.

_It can do so much. How did humans get such a power?_

The other two bandits were already descending upon her as she cast a second spell to put the injured man out of his misery. She saw one swordsman when he swung the heavy-looking blade downward, as if to split her open from collarbone to hip, and she easily sidestepped the blow. Before she could counterattack, a grunt behind her alerted her to the presence of the other man just before he swung his sword upward, and she spun away just as she heard the ominous silk _swish_ of metal slicing through air. Half-hopping, half-stumbling, she managed to move backwards through the snow until both bandits were in her line of vision. Even as she let the incantation flow past her lips, the swordsmen were already making their way to her. They dodged the streak of fire, letting it melt a furrow in the snow.

_Too close!_ Lily screamed in her mind even as she began to cast another spell. Her concentration faltered as one man jumped towards her, sending his sword down in a cleaving motion. Turning aside, she was met with a blade thrust at her face. With a jerk that was more reflex than thought, she watched with wide eyes as the length of the sword zoomed just before her nose. Stumbling away, she cursed when she half-turned and caught the sight of the other swordsman at her back. She gripped her tome, using it to deflect the tip of the blade as it raced towards her side. The thick sound of metal tearing through the leather-bound cover nearly made her cringe.

_Is that what it'll sound like when they finally hit me?  
_  
The thought made her double her efforts in dodging the two-pronged attack. She flung herself to the ground just as the brigands attempted to skewer her through her head and chest. The snow against her exposed face made her gasp from the sudden cold. Grabbing a handful of snow, she squeezed it once before rolling onto her back and flinging it at the nearest enemy. He stumbled back as the snowball smashed into his face.

_My chance!_ she thought as she jumped up, leaning backwards to avoid the arc of the other bandit's sword before she centered herself. It had never felt so wonderful to say the words of power as it did now, and because of her heightened emotions the concepts were much easier to grasp. She could clearly see the wisps of magical essence now as she flung her casting hand up, then down in a sharp diagonal, then straight across, forming the elemental triangle that represented the three cornerstones of anima: fire, wind, and thunder. The sigil of her mind's conception of the spell words flared to life before her, and she had to wonder how the swordsman before her--who was readying another attack even now--would've reacted had he been a mage.

Fire, crimson and burnished orange and gold, flew above her at her hand's direction, then charged towards the man. He didn't have a chance as the firestorm engulfed him completely. When the magic burned itself out, his charred corpse fell to the ground and dispersed in a flurry of ashes. Other than that, Lily could make out a puddle of liquefied metal on the blackened earth; there was no snow where the man had stood. She felt a stab of pity at this violent end, though she knew that there was no other way.

A scream of rage alerted her to the last enemy, who had been distracted with the snow in his eyes. She stood firm, ready to cast another spell once she dodged his attack--

Ugly-sounding words spoken in a guttural language accosted her ears, and an energy blacker than soot formed under the swordsman just before it swallowed him up entirely. He survived, though he was nothing more than a shivering husk of a man whose pallor was comparable to the snow. Sickened, Lily quickly cast a spell to put the man out of his misery before spinning around. "Canas," she said, and she couldn't tell if the emotion trembling in her voice was that of relief or disgust. "I told you to stay inside."

He was breathing heavily, as if he had run the entire way from her house. Judging by his discomfort with snow, she believed it was the most likely outcome. "Yes, that...that is true. But I...I heard that you might be in trouble, and that you would need assistance..."

"Who told you that?" she asked, at once both irritated and oddly comforted. _It couldn't have been Tinae_, she thought, _because she would've come here herself._

"A woman in a blue cloak," he answered promptly, looking a bit healthier than before. "She didn't give me her name." Lily arched an eyebrow as he began to look concerned. "Is she truly a villager, or was it, err, some sort of trap?"

She couldn't help but laugh at the question. "Don't you think it's a little backwards to think of that after you've come here?" After a moment, he began to chuckle, although to her eyes it looked a bit forced. Shaking her head, she glanced down at the tome in her right hand and examined the jagged cut on the back cover. "Anyway, reinforcements will be soon arriving. Rosliand, the woman who approached you, is very good with scouting work. I don't know why she would send you here, but it's probably too late for you to go back." Lily gave him an appraising look; he looked a bit better, but if she had a choice she would rather have him in a safer place. "Besides, you're too stubborn to go back, aren't you?"

"I...well, some have told me that I can be a bit, ah, _adamant_ when seeking a resolution or goal--"

"Obstinate, I think."

"Forgive me. Is it really so bad?" he asked, having the grace to look sheepish.

Smiling, Lily shook her head. "Well, it's a bit endearing to see you try to lug a barrel around, but this is something else entirely." She tapped her tome and considered. "I need to know right now if you're able to do this. I won't risk you."

He adjusted his monocle before giving her a determined look that, in her opinion, fit him well. "I assure you, although I consider myself a scholar at heart, you will not have to worry about me."

"...That's a good answer," she found herself saying, although she still had some doubts. He looked fine, but she had enough experience in dealing with people at their sickest to know that he was hiding his weariness very well. It was in the way he clutched his Flux tome, as if he was willing himself to look strong. "But Canas, let me worry about you, just a bit. You're a friend, after all."

His serious expression dropped in favor of a broad smile. It amazed her how he could smile so kindly and without reservation even as he knew that a new battle was soon to start. "Thank you, Lily. Naturally, I feel the same way."

"Good to hear," she said, turning away to stare at the vast emptiness that yawned before the village. If she squinted, she could just about make out dark shapes in the distance. "I'll weaken them, and you finish them off. That's easy enough, right?" She turned around to see if he had any objections to her plan.

"Yes," he said, but she could see that he still looked a little off. It didn't worry her so much now, if only because she didn't mind the idea of protecting him if he needed it.

If he needed to be protected, it only meant that she wouldn't have to see that hideous magic again.

-0-

Hah...hah...hah...

It was tiring. He could see now why his brothers had ended up the way they were. It stung inside like mosquitos, and he had to wonder if that was how elder magic took its share of his mana.

Maybe it was more than just his magic, now.

Hah...hah...hah...

Maybe his mother was right. He had the talent, but not the willingness to use it. Certainly, he'd tried his hardest to avoid any situation that would require it. But he had to agree with that odd woman; Lily was vital to Corinth. Even if she couldn't see it, she needed someone to at least watch her back, even if now she danced through the horde of bandits like the fireflies that gathered around the marshes of Thria at dusk.

She was his friend, so he...he had to stay strong...he had to...not submit...

Hah...hah..._hahn..._

-0-

All in all, Lily decided, the battle was going well.

It wasn't as easy as it was before, when her parents could support her in body as well as spirit. Once the battle became too much for her, they would fully step in to take care of their enemies. The battlefield would be lit up with lightning, her mother's affinity and favorite tome, while fire would scorch any bandit left standing. Her father was always a bit strange that way, preferring to settle for the weakest anima tome in order to work on perfecting his aim. This was true even last year, and it only made her more aware of the monumental changes that could occur in just one year.

It was different with Canas. His discomfort in the snow was obvious, and the concepts of his tome seemed to be more difficult to grasp; he took far too long to cast each spell. Also, he wasn't quite as strong as she would've thought him to be; for someone who had been training in dark magic since late adolescence, his casting seemed a bit...amateurish. She had taken to darting in-between the brigands, distracting them long enough for him to attack.

She snuck a peek at him while she weaved through the bandits, and was disturbed to see that he looked awful. He had barely moved from his starting point, and yet he was panting as if he had been running up and down Mount Athene. The grimace on his face made him look as if he were going through his death throes. She was about to call out to him, to tell him to stop fighting and head back to the village, but she was then distracted by an axe thrown at her head and ducked down to dodge that. The spray of blood that drenched her as the hand axe collided into the swordsman behind her was equally distracting. Somewhere between casting a spell and spinning away from another attacker she found the time to take another look at him.

At that moment, he keeled over.

"Canas!" she screamed, scrambling away from the knot of the battle to race to his side. It was when she felt the odd bulge of magic pulse from Canas' writhing body that she decided to back away. An abyss of pure essence opened up underneath him, seeping outward like black blood. She noticed that the living brigands, five in number, didn't seem to see the leak of magic; they saw weak prey and chose to go after him. As each one stepped onto the spreading essence, they froze. Through the clump of bandits, a trembling Lily watched as Canas, head bowed as he knelt in the center of darkness, began to clutch his head as he mumbled words in that same ugly language that he used to say his incantations.

The spirits were screaming long, frightful shrieks of madness just as Lily felt her hold on reality slip between her fingers like salt. One by one, each brigand fell over, their bodies twitching like something was nudging at them over and over again. Canas was still speaking, his voice a hollow monotone that seemed to pour out of his body like an endless pitcher filled with grime and gravel. There was more magic clogging up the air now, and Lily couldn't resist its pull. Before she closed her eyes, it was a normal Ilian morning.

When she opened them again, she Saw what dark magic truly looked from the inside.

Wolves, starved and desperate beasts with the color and consistency of shadows, tore into the bodies of the brigands with a hunger that was beyond need. With each snap from their massive jaws, they ravaged the bodies. Lily stood, mesmerized by the white splatter that flew every time the wolves ripped into their prey.

_Spirits...that's...that's...oh..._ Slowly, Lily raised her hands to her face. _Those are souls._

_The magic is devouring their souls.  
_  
Numbly, she looked over at Canas. He was still in the same position, still mumbling disgusting-sounding words. She could See the color of the personal magic that surrounded his body; dusky purple with an odd silver thread weaving through it, reminding her of some of her failed knitting projects. _Does that mean that he's...possessed by the darkness?_ she wondered to herself. _He really was too kind to control such malevolent energies._

At the blink of an eye, she stopped perceiving the energies that were only visible to those who used magic. Such a passive, easy skill, a requirement in understanding the forces they wielded through the catalyst that was the tomes, but Lily knew that it was now tainted for her.

_Dark magic...it either corrupts what it touches, or it consumes them entirely. There's no way that someone could use it and come out unscathed. And I let him stay with me to fight...how could I do that to a friend?_ Awash in a wave of sorrow, it was all she could do to clutch her tome.

_Oh, Canas, I'm so sorry. You were so kind to me. Let me repay you now, in the only way I can.  
_  
Each step hurt in every way regret and sorrow were wont to do; her chest ached as a thick clot of emotion grew in her throat. The dark blotch of magic seemed to roll away from her as she walked towards him, and she figured that meant he had already been taken over. Soon he would rise, nothing more than a shell controlled by pure darkness. Every shaman and druid lost something from their use of the dark magics, she had read; a soul was nothing more than the ultimate prize for it. And now, Canas' body would be nothing more than a vessel for destruction, and her village was so close...

There was only one thing she could do now.

She stood over his prone form and opened her tome. Her nerves were not steel forged from endless battle; it was too hard to concentrate on just reciting the words from memory when she had to face what she was about to do. She took a deep breath and tried to look at the book instead of him.

Something clenched in her chest with a clawed hand when Canas raised his head and looked up at her. His monocle had fallen from his face, and without it he looked so young, so defenseless, so _innocent_ that her already-weak resolve completely melted. Something of a smile touched the corners of his lips as he said, "Ah...Li--" and then he stopped and she saw that his gaze had shifted from her face to the open tome in her hands.

She didn't know what to do. He looked normal once again, so wonderfully normal that she wanted to take him home and feed him and give him a book to read, but the images of what his magic did were seared into her mind. Indecision gripped her, keeping a wave of relief at bay while holding off other, darker feelings. _If he had turned to anima instead of dark magic, we wouldn't be in this situation_, she thought, and it was the only truth she knew at the moment.

"Canas," she breathed, overwhelmed by her warring emotions, "you're a fool."

"Ah..." and it was all he really needed to say to convince Lily that he was truly himself once again. Innocent looks could be faked, she had watched over enough children to know that, but the response was intrinsically him. "I would not, err, disagree with that."

_Then why are you using that magic!_ she wanted to scream at him. _It's evil, I believe it's evil and I'm not even an Eliminean!_ Instead, she sighed. As it was, this was the best outcome, and she would accept that. Tucking her tome back inside the pocket of her dress, she looked around for her satchel of supplies. Once she recovered that, she approached him again. "Let's go home," she told him, though she wouldn't have blamed him if he didn't want to.

She would've killed him. She could see in his eyes that he understood that much.

"Lily, you would...?" he started to ask. He still hadn't replaced his monocle, and it hung off the collar of his coat. Without it, he looked lost, no more knowledgeable about the whys and wherefores of the world than herself. Pity swept over her; she didn't know anything either, so she could understand. She smiled, one of those tiny, tight smiles she employed when dealing with a patient, and waited. There were no words about wanting him to not catch a cold, or any other rationalization that would make it sound as if she was only doing it for his sake.

He was a friend, after all.

Eventually, he stood up, and in complete silence they returned to her house.

-to be continued...-

"The power you're trying to obtain... It's not to be taken lightly. It can tilt the planet if used incorrectly." Niime to Rei, A support (credit to FireLizard for translation). I'd like to apologize for putting this chapter out a week late. It's been a rough time with classes and work, and as a result it's been very hard for me to write. Because of this, I will post the next chapter on 12/14. Once again, I'm very sorry.

Lack of e-mail thank yous go to Phoenixfire1389, dark drow, Lemurian-Girl, and LastFarewell. Finally, maybe this isn't obvious, but this story takes place years before the start of Eliwood's quest.


	5. The Younger Ones

Shadows Under the Oak Tree

(C) Intelligent Systems and Nintendo

-0-

5. The Younger Ones  
(_Protect at all costs. Identities and souls._)

_"Miss Lily needs your help," the woman on the doorstep says, and now he is running alongside her while sharp-edged anxiety prods him to move faster through the snow._

_Every step of the way, the tome in his hand seems to only grow heavier._

_The woman has angular features and a long cloak that never seems to impede her progress. He notices these things because he was taught to look at a person when they are talking to him, and this woman talks often, in bursts of information. Things like "Miss Lily has a penchant for not listening to her elders," (said, he thinks, with a touch of humor) and "With her parents gone, some believe she has become more reckless with her life," (he mentally catalogues the emotions behind that statement as definite sorrow) vie for his attention, and it disorients him._

_Finally, he asks the woman, "Forgive me for asking, but why did you specifically come to me? It seems that you could've approached anyone in the village to assist Lily."_

_"We're too close," the woman responds, staring forward as if something out there was calling to her. "Miss Lily has proven today that she will not abide our interference. We all have weaknesses, and she knows them too well. That's the downside of our little village here--everyone knows everyone else almost intimately." She smiles, a facial punctuation to her latest slice of information._

_"Ah. I see," he says, and he really does. He also thinks that Lily will be very, very angry with him._

_The woman stops, points out in the distance where he can just about make out figures weaving erratically. "There. She's important to all of us, so bring her back."_

_He nods, steeling himself for the upcoming fight. Some feet away, he remembers with a start that he never asked for the woman's name. Wanting to rectify this error, he turns around, but she's nowhere to be found._

_When he turns back, resolute to help, there are shadows everywhere. They melt together, splattering themselves onto the scenery before him. When he walks past these blotches, they reach out for him, slithering over his clothes, slathering themselves over his face, oozing into his ears, his nostrils, his mouth._

_And he can't breathe. He can't breathe.  
_  
Canas awoke with a shudder. Unblinking, he stared up at the ceiling, focusing on nothing more than the erratic beat of his heart, the slow trickle of sweat down the back of his neck. He was in Corinth. He was in Lily's house. He was in a nice bed. The shadows were not darting around him, seeking for the perfect moment to take his mind and body. The shadows were not upon him, intent on absorbing him...they weren't...they hadn't...

He sat up, using the headboard as support for his back as he stared down at his hands. The small window next to the length of the bed offered some illumination, and his hands were close enough that he could make out the lines on them, even with his weak right eye. He stared at them for a long time, trying to will away the afterimage of what it felt like to lose himself completely in the depths of the ancient magic. There wasn't a dictionary he had read that held the exact word that described the feeling, somewhere between unraveling and twisting, a hyperawareness that set his skin aflame and the cool emptiness of not existing.

_However, I managed to do what few have_, he thought, _I fought back. I...I haven't lost myself just yet._

With a sigh of relief, he ran his hands through his hair, letting the locks flip back onto his forehead. He closed his eyes and leaned back until he could feel the wall against the back of his head, and lowered his hands until they rested on the bed. He felt almost peaceful now, almost himself again. Maybe he could finally sleep without the nightmares that paled next to the actual experience of being taken over by the magic.

_But even if you don't want to remember_, a voice that sounded suspiciously like his mother's echoed in his mind, _Lily remembers._

Slowly, he brought his hands together and began to rub at his wrists. It was a nervous gesture he employed in his childhood, when his mother was standing before him and he was torn between telling the truth or hiding where his brothers had gone to practice magic unsupervised this time. Thankfully, he had broken it after he left, because he had enough trouble with trying to formulate a reply when he was unnerved by someone.

_Lily is uncomfortable around me_, he thought, remembering their supper last evening. _In fact, I would go as far as to believe that she...dislikes me. When I was overtaken by the magic, I must have done something. Did I attempt to attack her?_ Frowning at this, he stared down at his hands, which were curled around his wrists. They no longer stung from the effort of casting anymore, though he could vaguely remember the feel of the elder magic against his palms, inside him. _Would I have attempted? I was not in control, but to even think of it logically, there were many targets more suitable than her._

He stopped his line of thought before he came any closer to fully absolving himself of guilt. "Even if she did not suffer the brunt of what happened during my...weakness, she witnessed the entirety of what occurred," he murmured. Hearing this fact spoken aloud did little to ease his discomfort. "And Lily does not care for elder magic."

Ah. _That_ made sense. Except that he remembered the sight of her, standing tall before him, her tome open in her hands. However little he knew her, she had never appeared to be the sort of person who would easily attack a friend. She impressed him as a woman who knew exactly what she was doing, and why.

_So then, I did threaten her_, he thought, unwilling to say that aloud, to have the thought echo in his ears as well as in his mind. _And her discomfort stems from the belief that I might continue to pose a danger to her...and perhaps to others._

He didn't know what to make of that. There was an option making itself clearer and clearer the longer he thought about it, but it bothered him for far different reasons.

After finding some spare clothing--Lily had cited a need for clothes-washing after her bath yesterday, and how long ago that seemed after everything that had happened--and retrieving his monocle, he left his room. His foot nudged something, and he looked down to discover his laundry. It was neatly folded, the bundle smelling fresh with the barest hint of the irial scent she always wore. Canas blinked in surprise and returned the clothes to the room before once again setting out to the sitting room. He expected to find her there, and then he would be able to have an actual conversation with her, one that would consist of many heartfelt apologies and his decision that perhaps it would be better if he left.

Instead, he found breakfast and a note. The latter was an apology for her absence but there was an emergency she had to take care of, and she hoped he enjoyed today's tea blend. It was such an innocuous little gesture, and it only deepened his belief that she was truly uncomfortable with him.

She never left notes, emergency or not. Paper was precious, and she always came home for lunch.

-0-

_Was it really the right thing to do? Of course I have to protect the village, protect everyone...but is it right to do it by any means necessary? I thought so, but when I stood before him...  
_  
Sighing, Lily stroked the hair of her sleeping patient, a young girl named Rachel who had a cough thick with fluid. While a common affliction during the winter, it was dangerous enough to children that Lily had spent much of her morning tending to the girl. This included servings of a bitter tea used to thin the stuff clogging the throat and lungs so that it would be easier to cough up, interspersed with dosages of another tea used to induce sleep; Rachel hadn't slept well since the sickness came upon her last night. A popular medical opinion called for someone to hold the patient in a sitting position while they slept to prevent suffocation from the fluid, and since Rachel's mother was preparing lunch, Lily was left to do the job with nothing more than her thoughts to keep her company.

_I wonder what I could've done differently_, she thought as she ran her fingers through the long strands of Rachel's thick purple hair. It was a couple shades darker than Canas' own, and along with blue it was the most common hair color for Ilians, but she couldn't help associating it with him anyway. Much of her brooding was darkened by guilt, she knew that much, but then there were also melancholic tones that gave her surroundings a faded, washed-out look. It was the keenest sense of loss she had ever felt without knowing just what it was she had lost.

_He'll probably leave. After all, he wouldn't want to keep living with the person that tried to kill him.  
_

It was deeper than that. It hurt more than that.

"Miss Lily?"

She turned to the door at the sound of her name, and attempted to smile. Mina, Rachel's mother, stood in the doorway, wringing her hands with a dishtowel as if to make a show of drying them, but Lily had treated enough sick children over the years to see the anxiety clinging to the stilted movements like a second skin. "She's taking to the treatment better than I expected, Mina," Lily started. "Thank you for calling me over as quickly as possible."

Mina quietly entered the room, and Lily gave the mother her spot on the bed, choosing to sit on the other side of Rachel's dozing form. "Thank you," Mina whispered as she held her daughter close, moving strands of hair away from the child's eyelashes. "You came so quickly, and you already had everything with you. Are others sick with the same thing?"

"Yes, but I started their treatments yesterday." _It was an all-around bad day_, Lily thought.

"Ah, after your battle." Mina nodded, and Lily bit back a sigh. "Did it go well? I'm sure that your parents were watching over you, just as they did before."

They are one with the spirits of ice and snow, Lily remembered thinking, and this time she couldn't hold back the sigh. "Well, the village is still here," she said. She didn't mean to weave a trace of bitterness through her words, but it was there anyway.

_As long as everyone is all right, then it's fine. No matter what I do to secure that peace...  
_  
Shifting Rachel's body slightly, Mina nodded, her long tresses falling over her daughter's face like a veil. Lily couldn't help but notice how difficult it was to separate Mina's hair from Rachel's, the identical shades that they were, and she wondered if the same was true for Canas and Lady Niime. She hadn't resembled her own mother in the least, whereas Iris had at least inherited the same bright blue eyes.

"Miss Lily? Are you all right?"

"I'm not sure," Lily said without thinking. Once she realized what she had just said, she tried to laugh it off, covering her mouth with one hand so as to lessen the noise. "No, no, I'm fine, just a bit tired. I, uh, was washing clothes at night and drying them by hand, so I didn't get too much sleep."

"Always so diligent," Mina responded with a smile. "Would you care to join me for lunch? With Jorah in Edessa for the winter, I find that I miss cooking for others."

Lily shook her head. "I'm sorry, but I still wanted to check on Kelial's leg. He's probably strained it again, what with coming out through the fresh snow and carrying that heavy-looking weapon yesterday. But I'll come over for dinner, if that's fine?" With Mina's nod, Lily excused herself, stopping in the sitting room to pick up her supply bag and cloak before leaving.

"Miss Lily."

"Rosliand?" Lily asked as she turned to her right, where the ex-scout stood. Compared to yesterday, the woman looked much more relaxed, which soothed Lily. She didn't think she could stand another battle. "How are you?"

"Well enough." With Rosliand's piercing gaze, Lily instinctively straightened up. "You look out of sorts."

Lily couldn't help but slump her shoulders at this. "Is it that obvious?"

"Mm, a bit." Rosliand shrugged. "But that's to be expected after a fight. Sore muscles from dodging in the snow, mental fatigue from the rigors of constantly pushing yourself. Even Tinae will understand, when you explain it to her."

"Wait. Why would I tell Tinae that?" Lily asked, feeling like she had just been ambushed.

"She's inviting you to lunch, and she's not taking no for an answer." With a smile, Rosliand bowed with a flourish. "Don't set the messenger on fire, I still have more."

_Tinae never takes no for an answer_, Lily didn't say. Instead, she crossed her arms. "More?"

"Kelial would like to inform you that, yes, he did strain his leg a little, and only your gentle touch can make it all better." With a groan, Lily covered her face with one hand. "Or the two of you could have some tea together."

"Oh, yes, the tea that he took from me," Lily grumbled, though she couldn't help but smile, even after she lowered her hand. "Fine, fine, I'm at everyone's command anyway." She noticed the side glance Rosliand gave her and tilted her head to the side as a nonverbal question. "Rosliand?" she asked after a moment.

"You sounded like yourself again. Only Tinae and Kelial do that for you."

"Hm?" Twining a lock of hair around a finger, Lily frowned thoughtfully. "That's worrisome if it's only those two." She let go of her hair as a thought occurred to her. "Well, maybe it's better that way. I get so annoyed with the both of them sometimes."

With a smug smile, Rosliand began walking and Lily followed her. "Well, Miss Lily, you aren't the perfect, selfless healer your house guest thinks you are."

_Not anymore, I'm sure._ "Don't exaggerate," Lily responded sharply, deliberately looking away when Rosliand glanced at her. She wasn't in the mood to be examined and prodded for weaknesses.

"I didn't. He was very worried about you. He's impressed by all the things you do for everyone. As soon as I told him you needed help, he didn't hesitate." When an irritated Lily turned to look at Rosliand, she was greeted with a soft smile that looked painfully reassuring with Rosliand's angular features. "Already, and he feels the same way as everyone else."

Pinpricks of an irrational anger poked away at Lily's demeanor. "How did you know he could use magic? Why him, Rosliand?" _I didn't need to see him use dark magic, I didn't need to see that horrible sight, I didn't need to know that I could be capable of striking down a friend, if it came to that. Anything for the village, right?_

_It's not right. It can't be. Even if all the legends say that dark magic only leads down one path... _

Dimly, Lily could hear Rosliand explaining that her job was to notice things, that she had seen Canas walk around with a tome on magical studies quite a few times, that a villager would've just distracted Lily unnecessarily, but they were all whispers to the reedy tones of the thoughts that nagged at her. She had to protect the village. She was the only one. She was the last one. To let anyone other than herself get hurt was an insult to all of her ancestors who gave nothing less than their lives to protect. The duty fell upon her to protect at any cost, at all costs.

Even if she had never wanted the job in the first place.

-0-

By mid-afternoon, Canas was certain that he really was doing everything he could not to put any effort towards leaving. It would've been nice to even pretend that he would entertain the idea, but he was dismayed to learn that he couldn't even attempt that. Instead, he broke his fast as slowly as possible, placed the dishes into the bin when he was done, and even found a book to enjoy. It was the picture book he had assumed to belong to Lily since childhood, the scenic pictures bringing him a sense of peace that he sorely needed at the moment. Traveling had always had that effect on him; there was just so much of Elibe to explore and to learn about...

_If it were any other time than winter_, he thought as he turned the page and saw the familiar marshlands of northern Thria, _this wouldn't be so difficult. It would not be the first time I've been forced to leave. _

He still fondly remembered the abbey in southern Etruria, where he had stayed for a little over six months. Such a pleasant place, that building of stone and faith, where acolyte monks studied diligently with the priests while the sisters tended to the sick. He had been a curiosity there, he knew, especially considering his relative disinterest in Eliminean-based scripture, but they had treated him with kindness and respect. Then came the day when the debate over the worth of the different kinds of magic veered onto the general loathing the clergy had of elder magic, when Canas felt that he had to say something in defense of his lineage's magic of choice, and suddenly he found himself on the road to Lycia. He still wondered what might've happened had he said nothing at all, and found himself believing that he would have been discontent at keeping silent and might have left all the same.

So, he was used to it. However, he was limited in his choice of destinations; he could either go to his mother's house, or to Edessa. The latter, being farther away and not so tolerant of penniless visitors in the winter, what with their diminishing food stocks already being promised to their citizenry, was not ideal. His mother's house had its own, unique problems, none of which he wanted to face so soon after his first use of elder magic.

He turned the page and saw a picture of the capital of Bern. Having never been to Bern before, he thought it sounded as good as any other place. He had no inclination towards high altitudes, and Bern was certainly no Etruria when it came to their magic scholarship, but their history was just as rich as Etruria's and the picture was enticing. _It is as good as any other place_, he repeated to himself.

It was somewhat worrying to him that he couldn't bring himself to believe it.

The door creaked open, and he turned in time to see Lily stomping at the doorstep a few times before she entered. She turned in his direction while running a hand through her hair, and he felt something like guilt prick at him when her eyes met his. "O-oh, hello, Canas," she greeted.

"Good afternoon, Lily," he managed to say after a gulp of air that did nothing to soothe his nerves. In that short time, she averted her eyes, her face conveying emotions he had no hope of deciphering. A needle of guilt--it was definitely guilt now--jabbed harder. He wanted to apologize for whatever it was he had done, but he couldn't remember anything of that terrible moment where it felt as if he didn't exist anymore.

"Oh, my picture book," she said, her tone neutral as she looked at the book that he still held. It amazed him to realize that he had actually forgotten about a book. It made things just a little bit worse in his mind, the effect the situation held over even his most basic of instincts. Because of this, it took a while for him to realize that she was holding a hand out. Assuming that she wanted him to return the book, he handed it over, watching her as she held it open with one hand while the index finger of the other traced something on the page.

Without even a tome to hold, he felt uncomfortably bare.

"'Bern, capital of the Kingdom of Bern,'" she read, just before her gaze flickered over the page to meet his eyes. "Have you ever been there before?"

He shook his head. "I have not yet had the opportunity, no."

"Do you want to go there?"

"I..." The question sounded forced, as if she were only asking out of politeness. But her gaze was much too steady for that, and he found himself unsure of what the right answer was. "Well, er...not at the moment," he answered truthfully.

Slowly, Lily nodded. "But you were thinking of it, right?" Perhaps the surprise he felt at her astute comment showed in his expression, because she only shook her head as she closed the book. "I wouldn't blame you. After all, I tried to kill you."

"Oh," he replied automatically. The thought behind his monosyllabic response was a little more than a murmur: _Is that...could that be the only thing bothering her?_

"I'm sorry." Her expression was unreadable, but she was clutching the book to her chest. Canas wasn't sure what that meant, and her expression and tone of voice were so bland that her apology sounded hollow. "In that moment, with the way you were acting...I had to respond somehow." She shook her head, and he saw that her expression was pinched. "It didn't feel right, but I was scared. I didn't know what to do, if there was anything I could do. It may not have been the only choice, but it was the most obvious one for me."

"I see," he said, even as he was still trying to make sense of her words. It didn't seem right to him that she was so negative about her own actions. "Well, you were doing what you felt you needed to because I was a danger, correct?" The way she stared at him, with wide eyes and open mouth, was not an encouraging sign to continue, but he made a valiant attempt anyway. "I would never fault you for doing your job."

She was shaking her head even before he had finished, one hand having strayed from the book to form gestures he couldn't understand. "No. No. My duty is to protect this village from those who would harm it. I've made my peace with the fact that I have to kill in order to protect. That's fine. But...Canas, you're my friend. Even though I knew in my mind that you posed a danger, I..." Her hands went still; to Canas, the sudden switch from lively gestures to nothing reminded him too much of his brothers, and the overwhelming wave of emotion forced him to close his eyes. To this, he heard her next words as something more than just sound, but rather as an empathetic echo of his own feelings.

"Honestly, I was just scared. I didn't realize how much of a burden this duty would become. But I'm the only one left, and so...what else can I do?"

A sliver of a year-old memory opened itself up like the night-blooming flowers of Etruria, and he--

_You still haven't begun your training? I could look away before and pretend that you weren't deliberately disobeying me, but not any longer. You're the only one left to carry the family legacy now._

--found that it didn't bother him as much, now that he knew someone else felt the same way. He had thought that Lily was happy with her responsibilities, so proud and full of confidence, but in the end she was just like him, wasn't she?

"Lily, I believe I owe you an apology. If I had been more experienced...er, if I had actually _used_ elder magic before yesterday, this would not be an issue," he said, trying to soothe her guilt.

She stared at him in a way that made him feel as if he shouldn't have said anything at all. "What do you mean, you hadn't used dark magic before yesterday?" Mentally, he frowned a bit at the term she used, but he was a bit more worried at the way her free hand formed a fist at her side. Now _that_ was a gesture he recognized. "You mean, never? At all?"

"Ah, well..." He had seen his mother get angry at his brothers to the point of yelling, but Lily's complexion was darkening at a frightful rate. "Yes. Forgive me," he added in a hurry.

With the look--_that_ look--on her face, he was ready to receive a series of rebukes when she opened her mouth. Instead, she pursed her lips, her eyes narrowing as she glared at the shoulder of the couch for a moment. Then, she took a deep breath, and he could've sighed in relief when he noticed that her hand was no longer clenched. "Maybe I shouldn't be so angry with you. After all, I did let you stay, even though I knew I shouldn't have. So, it's my fault." Her eyes flickered up to meet his just as he was about to demurr. "But, I'm not going to forgive an adult for having the common sense of a _child_. 'Hadn't used dark magic before', he says," she grumbled audibly, and his face reddened in embarrassment. " I thought you said that you've been traveling to hone your skills?"

Shifting uncomfortably, he nodded. "It is a common rite of passage in families that practice elder magic to send their children on a journey to further their skills once they become of age." He took a deep breath and continued with, "But in my case, my mother felt that I needed some time away, considering that I was, er, not the most willing of students."

"You?" Lily laughed, and he smiled at the sound of it. "From the way I've seen you study, I'd say you were too good of a student."

"Well, there were my brothers to consider at the time, and since I was the youngest, I had to make way for them. Also, while I enjoyed the study of elder magic, its practical application was...somewhat overwhelming."

"Oh." With her fingers twirling a lock of hair, to him she appeared to be much more relaxed now. "You have older brothers? That must be nice. Are you close to them?"

He smiled, though her second question made him tense. "Yes, three older brothers. I...the age difference between us is such that we were not particularly close, aside from our training. And now..." He didn't want to say anymore, but she was listening to him with such attention that he felt it rude to simply stop. "We are not close now."

Kindness softened the features of her face as she sat down across from him, setting down the book on the table as she did so. "Do you want to tell me why? I'd understand if you don't, of course, but I don't mind listening."

"Well, I, ah..." The fact that he knew he would confirm all her worst fears about elder magic was a good deterrent, but he felt that he owed her an explanation. "My brothers were unable to hold strong against the forces of the magic, and so...they succumbed to its might."

_And that could've been my fate yesterday, if I had been even a little weaker_, he thought. _I just didn't want to lose my identity. If not for that fear, I would've certainly been lost. My brothers had never been concerned with that._

_How odd. Does one have to be afraid to be strong?_

"Your brothers have fallen...but they're still alive?" Lily asked.

"Yes. They are in a restless sleep, stripped of all self-awareness." _That could've been my fate._ "They breathe, but they lack the most essential quality of life..."

"The dark magic took their souls."

"Er..." He was familiar with the concept of a soul, but all the sources on elder magic that he had read cared little for it. Elder magic was about knowledge and the structure of magic; if not for his interest in the other magic systems, he wouldn't have thought about the idea of a soul. "Well, if you want to call it that," he replied graciously.

"Well, what else would you call it?"

"Ah...one's own identity?"

Lily shrugged. "As you like. Strange, though..." Tapping a finger against the grain of the table, she appeared pensive. Having witnessed this from their discussion on healing magic, he understood it as foreshadowing before she made a particularly salient point and he leaned forward in interest. "From what I've read, dark magic can leave a person irrevocably twisted, little more than a shell of who they used to be, with only a need to annihilate life echoing in their minds..." Perhaps he was showing what he was thinking a little too readily on his face, because she looked at him and immediately twisted her hands in a sort of elaborate pleading. "That's why I was afraid when I thought you were lost to the magic! That's what I've learned my entire life!"

"That would be a grave misconception," he said with no small measure of sadness. Certainly, his brand of magic was dangerous, but this was beyond anything he had imagined. The fact that it was not the first time he had heard of such a thing only made him more distressed. "I know that the users of each of the magic systems hold unsavory beliefs regarding the others, but believe me, elder magic as a force is not anymore 'evil' than the other types of magic, no matter what its users do."

The idea that he could convince her of this was weak at best, so he was happy just to see her nod. "If you say so. But, that aside, I think I can help you train."

"Hm?" Had he heard that correctly?

"Think about it," she urged. "From what you've said, your magic needs someone strong in mind and soul in order to control it. I think I understand why journeys are needed for training shamans, since one becomes stronger by facing the problems inherent in the world. That improves your mind. However, a soul becomes stronger the more you understand yourself. Anima users commune with nature in order to fully understand their true selves, and I'm sure the Eliminean idea of prayer works along the same principles. So," she said with a smile, "the same must apply to you."

It was an intriguing idea, he had to admit that much. After all, the systems did have their similarities; perhaps this was one that those who used elder magic neglected at their own peril. "If it's not an imposition, I'd certainly like to try," he agreed.

Later, long after a meal at the house of a friend of Lily's, Canas laid down on his bed and thought that he had learned something today, something that he couldn't learn from a tome or scripture. It was more of a vague impression than anything else, one that was as fully settled in his mind as the meal was in his stomach.

He wasn't ready to leave. He didn't think he could be for a very long time.

-to be continued...-

Here we are, the chapter that should've been posted a month ago so as to not disrupt the flow of the story. Whoops. I hope everybody who celebrated Thanksgiving had a nice one; with the next chapter due on the 28th, I'll just wish everyone an early Merry Christmas now.

Kitsuneconspiracy brought up a good question that I forgot to address in the last chapter. The anima triangle (fire, thunder, and wind) is a reference to the actual anima triangle used in the earlier FE games. Since Aircalibur exists in FE6, we can assume that the same principles exist in FE7, even if that game has no representative tome for wind.

I understand that replying to reviews is no longer allowed, but surely I'm allowed to thank anonymous reviewers? So, to Denaia and TheWatcherandReader, thank you! And, as always, I accept all questions, comments, and sage advice. Thanks for reading!


	6. Drawing Me to You

Shadows Under the Oak Tree

(C) Intelligent Systems and Nintendo

-0-

6. Drawing Me to You  
(_Special lessons. Picture perfect._)

"...And that's how it's supposed to look."

Canas only nodded, enraptured by the sheer amount of polygonal abuse Lily had just cheerfully committed. Circles and triangles littered the thin piece of parchment in a series of overlays and links, and yet there was a balance in the overall pattern that was the pictorial representation of the theories of the anima system. He had seen similar pictures before, but this one seemed to make just a little more sense than the displays he had seen prepared by magic professors. It couldn't have anything to do with Lily's artistic abilities, he knew; half the circles weren't closed, and many of them looked rather like renegade ovals. However, there was still a pattern behind it all which formed the very logical and elegant system that anima operated smoothly on. Though, he wasn't sure why he felt it all made sense. Ever since that first invocation of elder magic months ago, it seemed to him that he was doing more than learning.

He was understanding.

"Of course," he heard Lily continue, "for all intents and purposes, the basic anima array looks like this." Flipping the parchment over, she dipped her quill into the small bottle of ink before drawing a vicious-looking triangle, which she then decorated with tiny circles that appeared completely out of balance with such a large, uncaring base. Canas felt particularly sorry for the circle speared at the top of the triangle. She proceeded to write in the old language, which lessons in anima were still conducted in, taking care to form each letter with the sort of care and precision that would certainly make the anima chart jealous. Familiar with the language, as it was just an older form of the letters used today, Canas could make out 'Fire' and 'Thunder' and some of 'Wind' before she accidentally smudged part of the word and caused it to be illegible. It bothered him like the pictures hadn't, because it was a word.

"May I see that?" he asked, to which she wordlessly handed over both quill and paper. After correcting the error and blowing on the ink to dry it a little quicker, he returned both implements. Sheepishly, he said, "Forgive me. It was a minor error, but I didn't want to keep reading it wrong."

Lily smiled, and Canas noted with relief that she wasn't the least bit offended. "I suppose I shouldn't be surprised that you can understand the old language," she said. "Did you first study it in Etruria, or from your mother?"

"My initial foray into the old language was with my mother," he answered with a smile. It had taken weeks of slowly wearing into her, much like the process of water affecting the shape of a rock over centuries according to a fascinating tome dedicated to geological study he had once read, before his mother threw a first-century scroll at him and forced him to write out a translation to the entire thing. A dull ache trembled through his hands at the memory, though he knew that he had been very lucky; his mother was not a person to provoke unless one was prepared for the consequences.

"Lady Niime...your mother truly knows everything about magic, doesn't she?" There was only sincere interest on Lily's face, and Canas couldn't help but wonder how she could admire his mother while despising ancient magic. The two were practically analogous.

Unsure of how to answer that--his mother did appear to hold a vast amount of knowledge in regards to magic, though he always suspected that she would be happy to lose any that concerned light and anima--he nodded in a deliberate manner. "Perhaps, although I would think that there are others who would know more." He searched his memory for anyone who could and came up with a name. "Such as the current mage general of Etruria," he continued. Lily seemed to admire the man; it had to be for a good reason.

She seemed to go very still, her face displaying a medley of emotions that left him confused. _Have I said the wrong thing?_ he wondered, but he wasn't sure if he should articulate that inquiry. A moment later, she smiled, a reddish tinge spreading along her face as she brushed back some hair. It made her appear a few years younger than she already looked, and at any rate it was quite endearing to see her look so happy. "Well," she breathed, "Lord Pent is quite young, so I would have to disagree when it comes to experience. Then again, due to his connections as the direct descendant to an adept, he would have a great amount of materials at his disposal."

Canas adjusted his monocle after his frown of confusion tilted it. "Excuse me, but what is an 'adept'?"

"It's a term used mainly for the anima users who were part of the legendary heroes' retinue," she explained, and to him she looked more at ease. "I forgot what the physical fighters were called, but the full title for the magic users was 'Those who are adept at using the magic of dragons', since elemental magic was considered to belong to the dragons before The Scouring."

"I see." That definition sounded vaguely familiar. "I recall that it was their initial usage that caused anima to become as widespread as it is now." It was a fact that his own ancestors avoided getting involved in that terrible war; Canas had a feeling that, if they had bothered, elder magic would be far more respected in this day and age.

The shrug she gave seemed a bit stiff to be only disinterest. "Not then. Anima was hated by non-magic users simply because it defined everything that was evil about the dragons, what with the wanton destruction via the elements." If he hadn't been watching her in rapt attention--hatred of anima was a rare subject in tomes that were not written by elder magic users--he was sure he wouldn't have noticed just how strained she appeared.

This was familiar territory to him. His mother delved deep into the study of dragons, and although most post-Scouring scrolls were rabidly anti-dragon, he had heard his mother decry a certain theory that appeared from a text created before the war. "I had heard it claimed that the existence of magic within humans comes from dragons." The blank expression on Lily's face could be compared to an unused sheet of parchment, and Canas hastened to explain further. "It is a strange theory, but humans and dragons existed peacefully for centuries before The Scouring. With such a friendship, it would not be unheard of for, ah, methods or treatises to bind the two races irrevocably..."

"Oh, how interesting. Wouldn't it be wonderful if it were true?" Lily asked, her smile bright. The idea that it was his bit of information that pleased her made Canas smile back.

_Knowledge lights up the mind and opens doors to fantastic realms of thoughts that can lead to new discoveries and old affirmations_, he thought. _There are few things quite as dazzling as the look upon one's face when they find that bit of knowledge that opens up a new world of thought._ Cheerfully, he asked, "Why do you believe so?"

She ran a hand through her long hair, a hint of a smile still touching up her lips and her eyes. To him, she looked remarkably less stressed than usual. "Well, no one can tell us why humans can use magic. I've always wondered why we can use such a power, and..." She trailed off, and he noticed that she almost seemed to be considering her next words just by the way she narrowed her eyes and looked off to the side for a moment. Then, she glanced at him and gave him a little smile. "Well, Ilians hold a much more favorable view of dragons than most of Elibe. The idea somehow sounds right."

"Ah. I see," he said, nodding thoughtfully. He didn't quite understand what she had meant about Ilians and dragons, though he could vaguely recall that the tallest mountain in Ilia was familiarly referred to as 'The Haven of the Ice Dragon' or something similar. "Then, one could say that the ability to cast magic will become rarer as the dragon blood continues to thin in favor of human blood."

The smallest of frowns appeared on her face. "Nn...not really. A propensity for magic appears in different amounts in all children, but adequate resources for learning how to hone said magic are needed as well. Etruria has an entire school system dedicated towards mages, but no other country has such a thing."

_And Etruria has nothing for budding shamans as well_, Canas elected not to add. "That is true," he agreed. "They are nice establishments, though the curriculum is unfortunately aimed towards military advancement. It is still preferable in many parts of Etruria to study magic at home." He then realized that Lily had neatly sidestepped the issue of magical talent via bloodlines and sought to reconvene to that point. "But you've never studied in such a place, and you've shown a particular talent that can't be easily produced in anima users. If you consider your own lineage, the theory of magical talent from the dragon's blood would claim that, as the generations pass along, the blood that dictates inherent magic would weaken with each non-magical progenitor."

Lily shrugged. "Anyone can use anima if they really tried. If the blood holds the potential, the tomes are the foundation necessary to bring it out." The look she threw at him was one of bemusement. "Now, dark magic is where I'd use that argument. After all, my parents were mages, but my grandmother had been a pegasus knight. However, I've heard that, to even have the talent necessary to use dark magic, one must have at least three generations of magic-users behind them." Suddenly, he was feeling somewhat out of sorts with her reasoning. It sounded logical, and yet... "Take yourself for instance. Your father must be a shaman, considering that you and your brothers were all able to use dark magic. In fact, most shaman families probably choose partners exclusively for that potential."

That vague feeling that bothered him throughout Lily's explanation transformed into a painful epiphany. _Now_ he understood why his mother kept suggesting he meet with the daughters of this shaman or that druid. He'd always thought she had wanted him to study elder magic with them and had resisted solely because of his other interests. It hadn't occurred to him to resist for the sake of other matters as well, and his face burned at the thought of it. "W-well. I see."

"Is something wrong?"

"N-no. Not at all." Now she was smiling at him in such a way that made him feel distinctly uncomfortable. It was as if she _knew_. "This...er, your family undergoes a similar...ritual?"

She sighed. "Somewhat, I suppose. Mages tend to be a bit rare around here, but since honorable Albion's bloodline happens to be fairly potent, it's easier for us to use magic. My parents were in the process of looking for a husband for me, but..." She waved a hand, a gesture that Canas understood to mean that something wasn't terribly important. It seemed to be the right understanding, because she suddenly smiled. "Since any man I marry would have to come and stay in this village, I don't think I'll be finding anyone suitable for a long time."

"I see," he responded, still a touch uncomfortable with the subject matter. Marriage in conjunction with his life was a rather new idea to him. Upon further consideration, he could not easily conceive what an 'eligible woman' meant to him. It was a worry for another day, preferably one far, far away from today. "Ah...weren't we talking about languages?"

"Oh, yes. Actually, I need to check on if the pegasus carrier has arrived yet. I have so many things to send out." He could certainly see that; fully half of the table had been overtaken by letters and packages. "I hope you don't mind."

He replied in the affirmative, his attention returning to Lily's drawings as she stood up and gathered her letters and parcels. Although he was familiar with anima theories in general--unlike elder magic, which had general theories and then advanced theories and corollaries upon addendums alongside laws--he felt the need to revisit the material, lest he become unforgivably lost later on. A clicking sound filtered through his mind as he examined the initial array more closely, but it was lost within the depths as he traced the main triangle on which everything was more or less dependent on.

_There is a great force in anima called the soul of nature_, he thought, reviewing lessons long ago learned, _hence its name. It is balanced between three elements: fire, element of the earth, followed by thunder and lightning, the bridge between the earth and the sky, and wind, of the sky. This, in turn, forms the anima triangle, in which fire triumphs over wind, wind over thunder, and thunder over fire. Although this does not come into play during practical usage, this understanding is essential in anima's later theorems--_

He registered another clicking sound happening beyond the expanses of his thoughts and looked up, a greeting already past his lips. "Welcome back. Has the pegasus rider arrived yet?"

"Uh, I wouldn't know," the man who had entered the house said. Canas blinked in surprise. "I'm not expecting anything. Lily said she'd be right back, though. So, want some tea?" The stranger grinned at Canas before making his way to the tiny kitchen adjacent to the sitting room. "She's got some great blends in here!" the man called. Canas blinked again, then relaxed. In his observations regarding day-to-day village operations, it was actually fairly normal for villagers to visit one another in such a manner. Because of the recent clear--in an Ilian winter, mottled gray clouds made for clear skies--weather, it stood to reason that the inhabitants of Corinth would be eager to do the same.

After a few moments, where Canas did little more than fiddle with the edge of the anima chart, a shrill whistle erupted from the kitchen, and he could hear the man commenting on the time it took, then some rather loud assertions about the heat of the tea kettle. It was when the man came out with a tray to hold the tea kettle and cups that Canas was able to note two interesting things about his unexpected host. First, the man favored his right leg, but when Canas stood up to help him, he only smiled and shook his head. Judging by that, Canas concluded that the man had obtained some sort of leg injury long enough for the man to learn how to adequately function with such a disability. The second item was that the man didn't appear to be of Ilian blood, but Canas could not quite pin down why he believed such a thing. Auburn hair, the man's most significant trait, was not uncommon to Ilians.

The not-Ilian man sat down on the other couch and deposited the tray onto the table, then looked up at Canas with a half-smile. "I bet Lily serves you, but it's kinda unsatisfying to be served tea by another man."

"Perhaps," Canas said, still attempting to size up the other man. "Forgive me for not introducing myself. I am Canas."

"Kelial. Nice to meet you." The man--Kelial, apparently tired of waiting for Canas to serve himself, picked up the kettle and poured rich, orange liquid into a cup. After a sip, he grinned. "I'll have to take some of this some other time."

Somewhat bothered by the notion that he was having tea with a thief, Canas prepared his own cup and, after a sip, determined that he couldn't blame Kelial. "This is indeed a worthy blend," he commented. He noticed the strange look Kelial was giving him and, somewhat defensively, asked, "Yes?"

The answer he received was a small chuckle. "That's pretty fancy talk. 'This is indeed a worthy blend.'" Kelial imitated Canas' words with a posh intonation that sounded like a poor mimicry of an Etrurian accent. Canas frowned slightly and took another sip of tea, lowering his head to hide the severity of his expression. "Anyway," Kelial said, "I'd heard you were a scholar from another part of Ilia, but you don't strike me as being Ilian."

"How do you mean?" Canas asked, genuine curiosity overtaking his annoyance.

"Uh, let's see. It's really just your accent. I've been to Lycia before, well, just over the mountains to Pherae, and you've got kinda that weird mild pitch. Yet," Kelial interrupted himself with a gulp of tea that emptied his cup, "you've also got that Etrurian thing for trying to sound like you're better than everyone else."

"Excuse me?" Canas asked, bewildered. The very idea that he could think himself superior to anyone else left him stunned.

Kelial only laughed as he poured himself another cup. "Yeah, but I'm not saying that's a bad thing. I guess I got too used to how Ilian women talk. You haven't lived until you've gotten the sweetest little granny cursing you blue in the face just because you've tracked slush onto her floor. And how Lily'll lay you down flat with a sentence if you _dare_ act like an idiot." Unbidden memories of times when Lily had done just that made Canas fidget, half-expecting Lily to suddenly materialize just to tell him off for not employing some common sense.

As if to appease her, Canas reached for his tea. "Of course, Lily is well-intentioned."

"Probably, probably." Kelial grinned. "So, I guess that means you're getting along good here."

Canas nodded. "Yes. Lily's proficiency in anima has been quite beneficial to my studies. I only wish I could recompense for everything she's done for me."

"Yeah, she's a bit demanding about being the perfect host, isn't she?" Kelial mused. "It's no good to push her around, like Tinae tries to, especially since you're a man. I'd say don't let it bother you. Oh," Canas froze when he heard a distinctly feminine voice on the other side of the front door, and then the soft sounds that could only be Lily's parcels tumbling onto the snow, but Kelial only grinned widely, "and the matches are at the bottom of the tea drawer. She hides them so no one else gets the idea to serve tea in her house."

Before Canas could form any sort of reply, the door was kicked open. A moment later, Lily stumbled in, her arms around her parcels, which she dumped unceremoniously onto the table. "Only the rider from Edessa's arrived," she said by way of greeting. Canas could see the barest hints of a smile on her face as she turned in Kelial's direction. "Kelial, what are you doing here?" was said in a cheerful tone, which was quickly doused with an indignant, "Is that my tea?" Canas immediately began looking over the anima chart.

"Yeah, I know what you said about asking you for tea, but you weren't here."

"What's your point?"

"Well, I thought it was weird that you hadn't served Canas here. I mean, you're not usually so neglectful of your guests."

There was a protest rising in Canas' throat before he'd even had time to think of it, because while he certainly had accepted a cup out of politeness, he didn't want Lily to think that he was the sort of person who would demand accommodations and take them if they weren't offered! He was stopped by the tilt of her head, the small smile she gave him, and her next words: "We have the same argument every time, and only now you've thought to bring in a hostage? My." She clucked her tongue and turned away from him, so that all he could see of her face was the roundest part of her cheekbone. "You'll have to do better than that."

"Oh, I can do that right now." Kelial stood with the sort of easygoing flourish that made Canas forget about the man's limp. Evidently, Lily hadn't, as she hurried to Kelial, who immediately held out an arm in a knightly fashion. "Lady Lily, would you grant me the pleasure of escorting you to my humble abode? I have something to show you."

"Only if I can take my packages with me," Lily said as she swept up the items in question, handing one over to Kelial when he motioned for them, and took the arm that had been proffered to her. Canas smiled to himself at their antics and was about to examine Lily's anima array when he caught her eye. With a smile, she said, "I'll be back in time for lunch."

Kelial, with a chuckle, began to lead her to the door. "Fair damsel, once you've seen what I have to offer you, you'll never want to leave."

"Just because you were a knight doesn't mean that the language works for you," Lily told Kelial as she opened the door, and just before she stepped over the threshold she turned to Canas again and mouthed 'soon'. With a wider smile, Canas waved to her before returning his attention to the chart.

_My, that was interesting_, he thought to himself as he reached for his cup of tea. _Now, I'm not quite sure what this portion of the diagram refers to...the Excalibur Theorem? Ah...the beauty of anima's simplicity is such that the rendition of the overall chart need not be perfect in order to provide comprehension. Though...I'm not quite certain if that is a circle, or a pentagon..._

-0-

"So, that's the guy you're keeping, huh?"

Lily looked down from the bright, gray-white sky and into the eyes of one of her dearest, most infuriating friends. Kelial was grinning down at her, his rich auburn hair dripping over his moss-dark eyes. With his strong, Bernese features, it hadn't surprised Lily when he proved to be popular among Corinth's eligible ladies, even if he had reservations about marrying any of them. "Well," she answered slowly, "if, when you say 'keeping', you mean 'teaching him the way of my magic system', then yes."

"Oh-ho, the 'way of your magic system', is that so? Sounds fun." Leaning his head closer to hers, his grin faded into a smile that Lily was loathe to admit looked dashing. "Why didn't you teach me anything like that when I was living at your house?"

"Because Father would've never agreed to something like that," she answered with a smile.

"Yeah, I remember," he said, nodding. "He really had it out for me, didn't he?"

Lily tried not to smile too widely. "I suppose so. He did throw you out."

"Literally! Who would've thought that mages could be that strong?"

Giggling, she adjusted her hold on her packages, thankful that all her letters were safely tucked inside her cloak. It was a warmer day than usual for the second month of the year and other villagers were taking advantage of that, but she knew that prevention was always worth more than easy access to a cure and dressed accordingly. She tried not to let it bother her that so many others disregarded the same, and vowed to prepare some antidotes for colds once she returned home.

The rest of the walk to Kelial's house was made under the warmth of companionable silence. Lily had to admit that it was times like these, when Kelial was not trying to outdo what his leg's limitation set before him, that she really enjoyed his presence. It had taken the better part of a year before he seemed to understand that he did have limitations, and a year after that before he would accept the help of others on his own terms. She knew how proud he could be, and how Ilia's dependence on women for military and domestic matters still bothered him, but he seemed to accept the way things were much better than before.

_Canas is so different_, Lily thought as Kelial let go of her arm to open the door for her while trying to hide the fact that he needed to lean on the door frame for support. _He just accepted everything as it was without making too much of a fuss. He's so well-traveled, and yet in some ways he's truly Ilian._

When she walked inside the small house, the first thing she noticed was that the sitting room table was, for once, completely bare. She'd been to Kelial's house enough times to remember the sea of papers--his one luxury--scattered over the oak table, and often littered around it. Turning to ask Kelial what had finally made him clean up, she was greeted with the lone package she had let him carry. "Take this, and make yourself comfortable," he said, excitement lighting up his dark eyes. She did as she was told, anxiety weaving a knot in her stomach. Setting down her packages onto the small table in front of the hearth, she sat down on the lone couch before it and folded her hands on her lap, trying not to imagine just what he had done this time. Was it just her, or had he been limping more heavily than usual? What would cause him to exert so much strength?

Oh, this was going to worry her all day, she just knew it.

His footsteps eased her mind, and she was happy to note that he was using his walking stick--an oak staff her mother had asked Gouterry to make because she had been so charmed by the foreigner--just before he plopped down next to her and propped it against the table. There was a large piece of paper in his hand, and he set it down on the table with a flourish. She looked at him, to which he smiled and said, "Go on, take a look."

She did, then gingerly turned it over before her eyes grew wide with shock. It was a picture of muted greens and dust brown, of a multitude of houses and shops, of people milling about in their daily work. It was obvious by the color scheme that this was a village in Bern, the country of highlands, but there was more to the picture than Kelial's nostalgia or his ample technique that affected Lily so.

It was the scene of daily life in his home village, as seen from high above.

"Kelial, this is..." She reached out to touch the image of a little general store, grateful that he decided not to use oils this time. "Incredible. How everything looks so small and delicate but _there_...is that how everything seemed to you?"

"I told you that one day I'd show you how it felt like to fly," he said, and the pride in his voice made her smile. Here, in this moment, she thought she knew just what Sir Kelial the wyvern rider sounded like, instead of the Kelial she had found half-conscious, holding a horrible wound to his upper thigh and with a host of mercenaries wanting more than anything to finish their job.

She smiled up at him. "Thank you," she said, and was somewhat flustered when he grinned and placed the picture on her lap. "Kelial, no. I can't take it. Your memories--this picture is important for you."

"Hey, my memories are up here," he replied, one hand tapping his forehead. "I know how much you love pictures, so there you go. Consider it a present for your twenty-fourth affinity cycle next month. Or," he paused, arching an eyebrow, "don't tell me that you forgot your own cycle was renewing itself soon."

"Oh. Well..." She smiled sheepishly and looked down at the picture. "I've been so busy lately. New medicines and teas to make, and with our non-meat supplies dwindling it's been a mess trying to ration the remaining stores."

"But you said the rider from Edessa came by."

"Yes, to let us know that there's a food shortage in Edessa. The Union is trying to negotiate with other countries, but..." She knew that she was going to sound bitter when saying the next part, but she went along anyway. Kelial, as a member of the village, had the right to know. "No one wants to have anything to do with us unless we're killing for them."

When she saw the grim look on Kelial's face, she regretted complaining to him. But he surprised her by taking a lock of her hair and tucking it behind her ear. "I've always wondered why I've never seen another Ilian with green hair. I think it means that you're destined to make this land grow green with life." She was thankful for the silly smile he had by the end of his little prophecy; she hated to think of how she would feel if he were serious. Nearly a millennia's worth of study towards enriching Ilia's soil with magic had been compiled by her family, but she just didn't have the time to test out some theories, or add to them, or _anything_.

_I need to find the time_, she vowed to herself. _Somehow._

"That's very cute, but that's not going to feed us right now." Shaking her head, she remembered her promise to Canas. "Speaking of which, I have to go make lunch," she said. "You're welcome to join us, if you like."

"No, no, Miss Desiree asked me over for lunch, and it wouldn't do to keep a beautiful young woman waiting." Kelial grinned as Lily shook her head in fond exasperation. She stood and picked up her packages and picture while he rose with the help of his walking stick, and patiently waited for him to escort her to the door. It was a ritual they went through ever since he had received the house from its last owners, who had been planning to move down to Lycia. Lily wondered if they had ever reached Ostia like they had planned; she had never received a letter from them and the journey south was dangerous.

It was when she had just stepped outside when Kelial touched her shoulder. "You know, about your busy schedule, why don't you let your guest help you with making medicines? I know that everyone here has to be useful in one way or another, and if he's going to stay for a while you might as well put him to work."

"Absolutely not, Kelial," she huffed, indignant at his suggestion. "He's a guest! Besides, once he learns all that he needs to, he'll probably leave." She tried to shrug, tried to show that it didn't matter. "He's a traveling scholar, after all."

"Yeah, I guess you're right. Though he doesn't look like the type that can deal with the rigors of traveling to me," he said, and she saw the doubt on his face just before he turned around to close the door. "Well, have fun."

Since there didn't seem to be any sort of commotion in the village--and a pegasus rider would certainly incite one, since they usually brought supplies--Lily decided to head home. From the chatter of the spirits, the weather was about to take a turn for the worse after tomorrow, so she wasn't expecting a rider to arrive until early spring. With the news out of Edessa, she wondered if that wasn't an optimistic estimate, and sighed. Years of watching her parents handle food shortages gave her an idea of what to expect, and she intended to make sure everyone saw the next hunting season in reasonably good health.

As far as she was concerned, protecting the village did not stop at the end of the battle. That was the belief her ancestors had stood for, and she had no intention of failing them.

After some time balancing packages while opening her front door--and ultimately failing to keep the packages from falling--she entered her house and stared. On the table was a fresh pot of tea, something she surmised from the puffs of steam drifting from the kettle's spout. Canas was sitting in his usual place, looking at once both pleased and worried as he looked up at her. "Ah, Lily, welcome back. I, er, since you intended to make lunch, I...ah, took the liberty of preparing some tea in your absence...if you don't mind."

_Oh, Kelial, I should've known you would've told him about the matches_, Lily thought in dismay. _I can't encourage this sort of behavior. After all, guests shouldn't be doing this sort of thing._ But a part of her, a very small part, was touched by this slice of kindness. Who was she if she berated a friend for being considerate? It was such a small thing; it wasn't as if Canas would be cooking meals and washing clothes next--not if she had anything to say about it! And it _would_ save her some time...

_Maybe that 'small part' wasn't as small as I'd thought. Well, what's the point of fighting my feelings?_

She smiled. "Thank you. I really appreciate it."

-to be continued...-

A day late and a dollar short, I suppose. I'm sorry. I'm always late with updates now, aren't I?

For some reason, I can see magic as a sort of genetic destiny. Anima, of course, is dominant, while the ability to use dark magic would come from a recessive gene. Light magic comes from believing in the divine naturally, so it's exempt. This can be easily over thought, but hey, it's just a theory. FE8 is set on a continent with a very different metaphysical nature, obviously.

Thank you to anonymous reviewers TheWatcherandReader and Denaia! I'm always interested in all comments, questions and sage advice, and if you don't want to review you're always welcome to e-mail me.


	7. Mother

Shadows Under the Oak Tree

(C) Intelligent Systems and Nintendo

-0-

7. Mother  
(_The Mountain Hermit. Bask in the light._)

It was early in the morning, earlier than he had the right to be awake for, when Canas stumbled out of the kitchen with a freshly-brewed pot of tea. He made his way through the sitting room, all the while shivering despite the layers he wore, and managed to deposit the tray and himself onto their proper places. A sip of tea revealed that perhaps his idea of the ratio of water to herbs could still use some adjustment, but it was quite an improvement over the first time he had made tea, nearly two months ago, and so he took another sip and enjoyed the warmth of the liquid. Two more sips later, and his mind began to function on a level that allowed recognition of the reason why he was so cold that he woke up--there was no fire in the hearth--and a solution to his problem--build a new fire.

As he went about the business of building said fire, he reflected on the events of the last two months. He had been happily studying with Lily throughout her birth month, listening in rapt attention as she lectured and expounded and debated on nearly anything associated with magical theory. He chuckled to himself as returned to his room to retrieve his latest foray into the world of anima literature, recalling how they had spent the better part of one night playing the game all children of magic users were taught in order to comprehend the magic triangle.

_A fist to display the appearance of light magic as it smashes through elder magic_, he remembered as he resettled in his usual seat. _However, the fist of light magic is trumped by the open hand of anima, which covers the elements--indeed, a reference to how nature is everywhere. Finally, there is the cutting swipe of a hand to indicate elder magic, the power that can slice through anima magic._ This last part made him smile, as Lily had no compunctions about using dark magic in the context of the game and had only laughed when he had pointed it out. He had laughed too, though he was unsure why, exactly, and they had played until somehow he had woken up with a crick in his neck from sleeping on the couch, and a headache from the liquor they'd imbibed to keep warm. 

Alas, times had changed since then.

He propped open the tome and tried to concentrate on the words, but the section he was currently reading referred to concepts Lily had already gone over in great depth. It was tempting to rely on her knowledge, but for the last month he had been aware that she had no time to spare for him as well as her duties and had tactfully left her to her work. It bothered him to watch her wear herself down, especially with the ongoing food shortage. Being well acquainted to the slow burn of hunger--it was practically a requirement for a traveling scholar--he was prepared to accept the changes that were sure to occur, but somehow she managed to prepare at least two filling meals a day. Since the day she snapped at him when he noted that she tended to disappear during mealtimes, he had a suspicion as to what she was doing, which only worried him more. 

There were no lessons now, and little more than simple pleasantries exchanged on a daily basis. Even with tomes to fulfill his need for knowledge, he found himself missing her.

Deciding not to dwell on that issue any longer at the moment, he refocused his attention on the tome. It was called Anima: A Discovery, and Canas felt that, while the author had a tendency to forego quality in favor of the quantity of topics covered, its discussion on communing with nature was quite interesting. This author seemed to appreciate the idea more than the druid that had lambasted the practice, and he read with great pleasure as the author methodically went through the reasons why an anima user would invest so much time in such an exercise.

While he was pondering the long-term effects communicating with the spirits would have on a mage (regretfully, the tome was rather lacking on that regard), he heard slow footfalls coming down the hall. With a cold cup of tea in hand, he looked up just as Lily entered the room. She looked quite different than usual, and Canas suspected it could be equally attributed to her face as well as the white traveling cloak that she had chosen to wear. He took note of the dark circles under her eyes, made all the more worse with her pale skin. Her cheekbones were more prominent than usual, and he worried again about her lackluster eating habits.

_If this were any other place, Lily would be allowed to rest_, he thought sadly. _In Etruria, in Lycia...everywhere else, springtime has long since arrived. Only in Ilia does the snow fall without respite._

"Good morning," she said, her voice breaking through his thoughts. Her lips curved into a smile, and he noticed that she was looking at the table. "You and tea. It's a good thing I have as many contacts as I do, or I'd be worried about keeping a surplus." Even though she spoke with a lightness that belied her weary appearance, Canas felt guilty. He was well aware that her blends were created using foreign plants, not to talk of the fact that she often traded them with the other villagers.

"Forgive me, I should not be wasting your stores of tea--" and he stopped once she held up a gloved hand.

"I've got better things to do than to hear you apologize for liking my blends," she said, smiling wider. Lowering her hand, she walked up to him and placed a hand on his shoulder. He looked up at her, taking in the tired affection that lightened her eyes, and felt oddly affected.

"Oh, well, thank you."

"It's nothing," she said, patting him a few times before moving towards the door. "I'll see you by lunchtime."

He waved goodbye to her, and when she shut the door he realized that there was something else off about Lily this morning, but he couldn't quite place what it was. So, he settled back and continued reading the tome. It was only after the pot was empty when he realized that she had forgotten her satchel, which contained an assortment of remedies. _How odd_, he thought. Since she usually spent the morning treating the sick, it made no sense for her to leave it behind.

There was a knock at the door.

Canas' first thought was that Lily had returned, a thought that he was embarrassed about when he realized that Lily would not knock at her own door. Perhaps it was someone retrieving her satchel for her?

He had to look down to get a good view of the person at the doorstep. Doing so brought him face-to-face with an elderly lady who was decidedly not a villager. Her graying hair still bore some stubborn strands of dark blue, so different from his own shade, but then again he greatly resembled his father. It was pinned up and loose in ways he had yet to comprehend, though he had watched her do it with nimble fingers in his youth. Those nimble fingers were now gnarled ones, curled around a walking staff that doubled as an effective ward against stupidity and foolishness. The robes she wore gave her the look of a traveling fortuneteller, which he knew suited her just fine despite her pedigree in various and sundry matters, as well as the fact that she had forgotten more magical knowledge than most learned magic users learned in a lifetime. Despite that, despite everything, the smile she gave him was truly comforting in a way that not even her oddness could dispel.

"Hello, Mother," he greeted, opening the door wider while smiling at her. "Please, come in. It's been a while, hasn't it?"

-0-

Lily felt old.

Her hair whipped about her face as a stiff wind blew, forcing her to gather up her hair and arrange her cloak around it to hold it in place. The cold burned her face, and she knew that, despite the creams she made, her face might as well be unprotected. It was an occupational hazard, sure, and her face wasn't exactly the pinnacle of beauty, _fine_, and maybe it didn't really matter but she was allowed some vanity, wasn't she? She liked her face, even if she didn't look like Lady Louise--and _why_ did her friend have to send her that picture when he _knew_ she liked landscape pictures--and it wasn't as if she would ever look so fresh and pretty, as her mirror was more than happy to show her...

Irritably, she raked a hand through her hair, disrupting the order she had imposed on it. No wonder she felt old, considering she worried about the little things as well as the big things. Worry, worry, worry. Only a year had passed, she could hear it in every crunching step, and yet it felt like an abyss that took and took until all she had left to toss in was herself.

But there had only been herself in the first place.

_One year down_, she thought, walking forward and letting her hair toss every which way. One year.

_Mother, Father, are you still sleeping? I've got breakfast made!_

One year.

_Mother? Father? Hm? Why are you_

"So cold," she whispered, pressing her fingertips against her cheeks. She was an Ilian; being cold was a way of life for her. She thought she had experienced true cold until that day, when she had touched her father's face. Shivering now, she wrapped her arms around her body and continued to walk.

All she could do was keep going.

The lights caught her attention a ways before the oak grove and she, confused, hurried into the clearing. There she stopped, and the strangest feeling wiggled inside of her.

After her parents had died, Lily had worked. She worked, and she tried to forget the tradition of death in her beloved homeland: casting away the bodies into the ocean. The bodies weren't important next to their spirits, true, but there was also the fact that the ground was too hard, too frozen to properly dig a grave. It was tradition, one built on common sense and logic, and it hurt.

Then came the day of the casting away, a week after their deaths. By the time she had woken up her parents had already been moved from the ice lodging used to preserve bodies, and she had panicked. Had the other villagers already cast her parents off? How could they let go so quickly? These thoughts crashed through her mind as she ran around the town, looking for someone to tell her what had happened.

The activity at the clearing just at the base of Mount Athene had caught her eye. In there, she discovered everyone as they worked together to finish the grave they had been digging for days. The love she felt, not only from them to her and her parents, but from her to them for understanding, nearly overwhelmed her.

That day at her parents' grave, she vowed to protect the village at all costs.

Now, a year later, with all her doubts and worries swirling in her mind, she took comfort in the lights. Dozens of candles sat inside little glass containers that prevented them from being blown out by the wind. They flickered and danced, warming her with their mere appearance. There were also a few people there: Aberforth and his sister Camille, Grandma Yunice, who was helped by the twins Rycen and Mynthia as she placed her own candle at the foot of the grave. As soon as she was noticed, they went to her and smiled and talked about inconsequential things, like how soon the supply rider would come and if she still had this or that blend of tea. She clung to this normalcy, urged it along for as long as she could, and loved them for it. Grandma Yunice kissed her on the cheek and whispered in her ear about making her favorite food, and Lily kissed her back and told her that she couldn't wait, and then everyone left and it was her and a field of light.

Careful not to disrupt any of the candles, Lily knelt on the grave and opened her mind to hear the spirits she so loved.

-0-

Canas felt out of sorts.

"Do you like the tea, Mother?" he asked after she took the first sip of the new pot he had prepared. Once, Lily had pointed to a large tin container and told him that the tea in it was essential for living in fruitless Ilia. As his mother was a practical woman, he assumed that she would appreciate such a blend.

His mother nodded thoughtfully. She looked so small, sitting in Lily's usual place, her staff propped up beside her. "Interesting. A persimmon tea blend. I used to make something similar when you were younger."

"Oh." He was sure none of her teas tasted quite this nice, but he still nodded dutifully. "I see."

"Hm." Deliberately, his mother set down her cup and gazed at him in such a way that he felt himself correcting any slack in his posture. While staring pointedly at him, she adjusted the hooded short cloak she habitually wore, and just before he was about to inquire if something was wrong, she nodded. "So, you finally decided to accept your heritage."

Canas blinked in confusion. "I..." he started, and then the full force of her words crashed down upon him. With feelings twisting inside of him that he couldn't begin to name, he tried to find something to say that would make this meeting different from all the other times. "I have always accepted the path of our lineage, Mother. Even if we pursue it along different trails, the destination remains clear."

She pressed a finger against the bridge of her nose for a long moment, her exasperation clear to him. It had always been clear to him since her first visit while he was on his journey to prepare himself for the ways of elder magic, when she had realized that he had no intention of studying it with the intent to use it. "Tell me, child, how does one become a dark magic user if he doesn't use it to begin with?" she asked, clearly displeased with him.

"But Mother," he said patiently, "I have used it."

"So you have." Smoothing down her dress over her lap, she clasped her hands loosely. She had a benevolent appearance now, and Canas was not so sure if he preferred this. There was an element of expectation that he disliked. "And how did you feel?"

"I prefer merely studying it," he blurted out, and immediately sought to correct his mistake. "That is to say--"

"Why did you use it?" Her eyes were boring into his, a gaze beyond steel or silver. "Surely you had a reason."

He adjusted his monocle, taking the time to remember how to breathe. "To assist a friend."

His mother pursed her lips, tapping her knee with one finger. This was a fortuitous sign, he knew; she was on the verge of letting the matter settle. Oh, how he wanted the matter to be settled... "How do you feel about it now?"

_Cold_, he thought but did not dare say. "I cannot say that I enjoyed it. Despite all the research I have done, I did not expect the forces of elder magic to be so...demanding."

"Did you expect it to accept you so easily when you won't even call it by its true name?" his mother asked, her tone one of barely suppressed irritation. Canas said nothing, saddened to once again be on familiar territory. He understood all too well the tradition that he was shirking, to master elder magic, to make the proper reparations, to give in entirely to the magic. He had seen his brothers attempt it and fail, and fail, and fail, all for the sake of power.

The lessons that power provided were not the ones he had ever been interested in learning.

"I remember," she said after taking a sip of her tea, "you were the same way when you were younger. Kind and gentle to a fault, yet incomparably willful when it came to getting your way. Out of everyone, you have certainly been the most trouble, yet I can't say that I don't admire that spirit of yours."

Heat tingled along his cheeks as he took in her words with some tea, aware that his mother did not intend to let the matter rest for too long, but grateful that she decided to end it for now. "How is everyone?" he asked out of politeness.

"Your father is still a fool and your brothers are still the same," she answered. Canas was very used to that answer from his mother and was quite unsurprised that nothing to note had occurred since their last conversation. "Speaking of which, this is from your father," she continued, reaching into one of the layers of her dress and pulling out a slim tome. "A belated present for your last affinity cycle."

"Thank you." He accepted it, a tingle of excitement rising through him at the prospect of a new tome and the knowledge it would grant him. In the runic language of elder magic, the title read Properties of Transmutation and Transfiguration. "My!" he exclaimed, impressed by title alone. There was no author, common enough for tomes written by shamans and druids. His fingers itched to open it and revel in the knowledge contained within.

"Well, I should return home. Your father's watching over your brothers, a fact that worries me to no end," she said dryly. "I trust you will keep yourself out of trouble?"

He could only smile at that, even if the question sounded as if it were directed to a child; he supposed that he was a but a child in comparison to her vast knowledge. It was no wonder that Lily so respected his mother, despite her unfortunate dislike of elder magic. Now that he thought about it... "Pardon me, Mother, but perhaps you would like to meet Lily?" he asked. His mother stared at him after she reached for her staff and rose from her seat.

"Who?" she asked, frowning slightly. Just as he opened his mouth, his mother nodded. "I see, the child of Harnan and Viola. Speaking of which, how are they?"

Canas never quite closed his mouth as he stared at her. Normally, her magic senses were tuned enough into the surroundings that she could easily read what she needed to know from the leftover residue of magic. That was why he was not overly surprised that she knew he had used elder magic. Having no practical knowledge of this magic-neutral skill, he was unsure what exactly could be analyzed, but he assumed that death might affect the feel of the house somehow. "They've...passed on," he said slowly. "I believe it was about a year ago." Something in his mind nudged at him, but he ignored it.

A sigh passed through her lips, and she nodded. "Is that so. They were very powerful sages; it will take time for their presences to properly air out." She turned as if to leave, then glanced back at him. "You are learning from their daughter, then?"

"Yes," he said, smiling. "She's quite knowledgeable. It's refreshing to study from her, as she has a different focus in anima than the magic users in Etruria."

His mother narrowed her eyes, and he tensed. Was she...glaring at him? "Hn," she finally muttered. "I'll see my own way out." She did so, and he thought she had shut the door a bit harder than necessary.

_How odd_, he thought, pouring himself another cup of tea. _Even for Mother._

-0-

If Lily had to describe what it was like to commune with the spirits, she would compare it to simply paying attention to a conversation that was always being carried on around her. It was always an enjoyable experience for her as well as absolutely necessary in order to find out when the next blizzard would occur, and she had been wondering how she would go along teaching Canas the same--could dark magic users hear nature, after all? Did they even want to?

As she knelt on her parents' grave, she felt such a deep wellspring of love and comfort overflowing through her as the spirits embraced her that she clung back, desperately seeking a chance to simply relax. She could not sense the specific presence of her parents, not even in the days after her parents had been buried when she would visit every day, but she understood that in death everyone was the same. To seek one spirit was to seek them all. It was comforting to know that she was never truly alone, except in the dark of her home, where at one time she laid in bed and stared at the ceiling and knew that, for the first time ever, there was no one in the other rooms, no life at all other than herself.

But it was better now. Much better. It just didn't feel right to live by herself.

Awareness of her surroundings was little more than a constant flickering of candlelight when she was concentrating, but with something as basic and primal as this she felt as if the physical world was rushing up to her like waves lapping up to the shore. The crunching sound of footsteps in the snow pulled away, then overwhelmed her, drifted and returned. She let herself continue in this vein, mildly curious as to who was approaching.

"Lily? Hey, Lily, are you--"

"Kelial, don't bother her!"

"I don't know...are you sure that's a good idea? I mean, maybe she needs some comfort..."

"And we all know what your idea of comfort is. Anyway, she's just doing that weird 'listening to the spirits' stuff again."

Raising an eyebrow in bemusement, Lily raised her head. "It's not weird," she announced, glancing over her shoulder. Tinae and Kelial stood a ways behind her, the latter holding his walking stick in one hand and a candle in a glass container in the other. Her friends looked at each other, then gave her twin sheepish smiles. Her only reaction was to shake her head as she rose, taking the time to dust the snow off her knees.

"Good ears," Kelial complimented, hobbling through the snow. He held out the candle towards Lily, and, with a cheerful smile, declared, "Well, here's my contributi--" His staff hit the edge of a container and he stumbled. By instinct, Lily grasped his outstretched arm, careful to make sure that he didn't drop the candle as well. Tinae, as quick as her small frame would hint, had already grabbed his other arm. Meanwhile, the container that Kelial's walking stick hit had toppled over, causing the candle to fall out, its flame extinguished as soon as it hit the snow.

A feeling of inexplicable sadness welled up inside of Lily at the sight. Someone's offering of respect, a candle that could have been used for more practical matters, was easily snuffed out in a matter of moments. Even if it was by accident, she was painfully aware of how easily it had happened.

Now, with the responsibility she carried solely in her hands, she had to tread more carefully.

Tinae shook her head in a way that worried Lily. "Kelial, look what you've done. You have to be more careful in the future."

That was the absolute worst thing anyone could say to Kelial, who was sensitive about appearing weak, and Lily winced at Tinae's ability to let tactless comments fly as if they had come from her quiver. "I'll keep that in mind," Kelial muttered, pulling his arm away from Tinae, who frowned as if she had just been insulted. As Lily had seen that look one too many times to know that the other woman was ready to snipe back, she did not appreciate the sudden vision she had of her friends bickering at her parents' grave.

"Kelial, it isn't like you to be so short with a woman, especially one who's older than you," Lily reminded him in what she hoped was a calm, even teasing, sort of voice. They were adults, more or less, and she was going to treat them like so because the alternative depressed her. "And Tinae, he doesn't need to be scolded. He's not that much younger than you."

Sighing, Tinae nodded. "That's true, I guess. But, Kelial? You don't need to be so proud. You're almost as bad as Lily here!"

"Oh, you're right," Kelial said with a laugh. "I mean, a man's got to have some pride, even in this country, but I can't compete next to Lady Lily." Her friends laughed at this, making her wonder why she had bothered to reconcile the two.

Arching an eyebrow before turning away, Lily folded her arms and tried to pretend that she wasn't being childish as she declared, "Well, I have something to be proud about." She could hear Kelial chuckle about that, as well as the crunch of boots in the snow, but she was a little surprised when Tinae's head appeared to her left, complete with a smile that made Lily wonder, not for the first time, how a woman who was supposed to have seen thirty-two cycles could look as young as her sixteen-cycle son.

"You're right, you have a lot to be proud of," Tinae said warmly, wrapping an arm around Lily's waist. "Your father always healed me whenever I went hunting, and your mother always made these wonderful sweets when I came over to play with Iris."

"They _were_ nice sweets, weren't they?" Lily asked, careful not to lean too much into the petite woman. "Iris always took mine."

"That's all right, she did that to everyone." Craning her head up, Tinae said in a mischievous tone, "We always thought she invited people just to get more sweets."

A laugh escaped from Lily before she could stop it. "She did, but Mother didn't mind."

"The both of you were so lucky. Now, my parents were..." Tinae laughed suddenly. "Well, no need to speak ill of the dead, right? They're watching over us now, and all that."

Before Lily could respond in the affirmative, Kelial plopped a hand on Lily's right shoulder. "Sorry I took so long," he said. "Those damned candles are everywhere. Hey, Tinae," he spoke over Lily's head, making her despise his Bernese height advantage not for the first time, "why'd we have to bring candles, anyway?"

Lily looked down at her friend. "You planned this?" she asked, touched by the gesture as much as the outpouring of support that had resulted from it.

"Well, it wasn't really much," Tinae said, looking oddly modest. "It's not as if we've ever had a grave to decorate before, so I suggested we do like how Lord Barigan honored Lady Edessa, since that was the last grave ever made before, you know, the casting away tradition started."

Twisting away from Kelial, Lily reached over and hugged Tinae, who responded eagerly. Placing a kiss on Tinae's temple, Lily whispered, "Thank you," and believed that she had never meant it as much as she did in this moment.

"Don't I get a kiss?" Kelial asked, and if Lily didn't know any better, she would've sworn he was leering at her. But, because she was in a good mood, she humored him and reached up on the very tips of her toes to place a kiss on his cheek.

"There, that's for coming here when you didn't have to," she told him, serious despite her smile. He seemed to understand and nodded, only offering his arm as a silent request. She took it, then held out a hand to Tinae, who, once upon a time ago in the bleak period when Lily hoped that Iris would return, would take the younger girl by the hand and lead her around the village, telling all those who approached that she was acting as a replacement sister until Iris came back. Tinae's eyes widened and she placed her hand in Lily's, and Lily felt as if she understood Lord Barigan's burial gift to his departed wife.

This was the light. This was what had to be kept alive and burning.

This was what she was protecting, the right for her fellow villagers to bring light into the lives of others.

Hand-in-hand, arm-in-arm, they returned to the village.

-to be continued...-

It's strange to write Niime, all the more so due to a comment about Canas that Niime makes in her support with Hugh: "He's just like his father...he tries to be bad, but he can't deny his kind heart." (Courtesy of FireLizard's FE6 Support Conversation FAQ) It took me a while to wrap my mind around the concept of Canas being 'bad' in any shape or form, until I remembered that he's only becoming a shaman in training in his late twenties, and half the time he clings to the title of 'scholar' like nothing else. And, judging by Hugh, nothing irritates Niime as much as stupidity and stubborness. Canas isn't stupid, but if he's a good scholar, he'd be very good at working to get his way--which he is, according to the Canas/Renault supports.

Before someone asks, yes, it's canon that Niime, _at least_, can tell if a person has used magic and what kind they've used. And according to her, anima has a stench to it. Pleasant.

Because I do pay attention to the reviews, let me say this:

-This story primarily takes place pre-game. It encompasses roughly five years before the game, during Eliwood/Hector's quest, and some time afterward.

-Sometimes, I'm forced to delay the chapter. In my profile I always note if the chapter will be late by the Monday of the week the chapter is due.

Finally, I'm changing my penname after this update to celebrate five years of surviving FFN's sudden and annoying mandates. So, don't worry, no one (to the best of my knowledge) has stolen my story. Other than that, thank you to the anonymice Denaia, TheWatcherandReader, and ceecee. Of course, I accept all comments, questions, and sage advice, no matter the medium. Thank you for reading!


	8. Core

Shadows Under the Oak Tree

(C) Intelligent Systems and Nintendo

-0-

8. Core  
(_Special lessons, part two. Circle._)

Confidently striding up the path, Lily believes it started yesterday, when she made a meal from venison and lily bulbs with herb butter.

"Well," she started as she set down the steaming hot plates, "I hope you enjoy. It's been a while since I've made something hot that wasn't a stew, so I'm afraid it might be disappointing."

With pleasure, she noted that Canas looked surprised at such a thought. "I highly doubt it," he said, his attention centered on the plate in front of him. "It has a wonderful aroma. Quite delightful, if I may say so."

The smile on her face threatened to become a permanent feature as she sat down and began to eat. _Hm, this is good_, she thought. The venison was meaty and filling, and once again she mentally thanked Tinae for bringing her such a choice cut. And oh, the lily bulbs! Lily had a soft spot for things that pretended to be vegetables and succeeded at it; then again, so did most civilian Ilians. So, she also directed her thanks to the Union, who sent the supplies that included a large package of lily bulbs for each household in every village. She had heard horrible things about monarchies and marquesses; however, the Union truly cared about the people of their country.

That was the beauty of Ilia, where the harsh weather only tightened the bonds between the people.

Glancing over at Canas, she expected him to be just as happy about the food. After all, she had noticed that he wasn't picky about what he ate. That was an unexpected quirk about having a house guest that she had grown to love; they ate her food and liked it. There was something about being complimented about such a mundane thing that cheered Lily in ways that curing people just couldn't touch. The fact that the venison was already half eaten momentarily brightened her spirits, and she mentally preened at another culinary success. Then she noticed that he was poking at a lily bulb in such a way that suggested he was afraid to eat it.

"Is something wrong?" she asked, her tone mild. Canas looked at her and smiled sheepishly.

"Not at all. As I assumed, I found the venison wonderful on the palate. Truly, you are an excellent chef."

Ah, sweet praise. "Thank you. It really wasn't anything," she said, the heat from the blush at his words tingling across her face. "I'm very happy you're enjoying it."

"Hm, I'm glad to hear that," he responded, his smile more sincere now. They smiled at each other for a long moment, and then they returned to their meals. Or, rather, Canas returned to curiously poking the lily bulb while Lily returned to growing indignant at the sight.

"You know, you shouldn't play with your food."

"Ah...no, that is not quite what I was doing. Er...if I may ask, what are these white...objects?"

"They're lily bulbs."

Canas looked confused at first, which was normal enough, and then his expression brightened. "Ah, traveler's potatoes! They're quite satisfactory with nearly any meal." Taking a bite out of one, he was plainly satisfied, something that made Lily very happy. "My, they taste wonderful when cooked," he commented.

Lily frowned. Maybe she hadn't heard him right. "Of course. They're meant to be cooked. You can't eat them raw." Some varieties were poisonous when consumed as is, a fact that kept her from throwing out pages of antidote formulae--obviously, they were meant for people like her house guest.

"Ah..." Hearing this, she knew that she wouldn't like anything that came out of his mouth in the next few moments. "Well, technically one can...if, er, properly motivated..."

Sometimes, she hated it when she was right.

Deciding to leave the topic alone, Lily returned to her meal, which she ate with gusto. She had lost more weight than she would've liked to admit, and now that her workload had shifted to preparing the herbs that were arriving weekly from all over the country, she had the opportunity to stay in and snack on those wonderful Worde sticky sweets that had arrived last week. She mentally grinned at that as she finished her supper--she still had two bags' worth, didn't she?

She was still cheerful later, after the dishes had been cleared away and in their place was a soothing mint tea, which her mother would set out after supper so the family could have a chance to talk and settle in for the night. The need to return to old family rituals had been strong since the beginning of the warming period, when the villagers scattered themselves to as far as Sacae, effectively lessening the stress that was a constant weight since the worst months of winter. That she had made it without seriously considering Kelial's advice in getting additional help from her guest was a blessing from the spirits. Seeing Canas in his usual place, sipping on tea while perusing a book, made her want to keep him that way.

Leaning back, she studied him as he read. He always read as if whatever he was reading was the first book he had ever gotten his hands on, his eyes scanning the text with an eagerness only paralleled by young children at play. There was a happiness there that Lily envied because of its simplicity; he was happy with what he did for...a living? She wasn't sure if scholars even made any gold out of their trade, but it was obvious that he didn't mind.

_He should always be this way_, she thought, her gaze softening as she watched him turn the page. _At least one of us should be able to reach their dreams, and his dream seems to be so simple. That's so nice._

The title of the tome caught her eye: A Contemporary Analysis On The Words of Saint Elimine. It didn't belong to her, as she had better things to do with her time than to be an Eliminean. She had been fairly sure that Canas wasn't an Eliminean either, an insight she'd had by his ambivalence whenever they discussed light magic. This triggered her curiosity and she leaned forward, sipping some tea before she asked, "I hope you don't mind, but are you religious?"

"Hm?" He lifted his gaze from the tome to her, his lips curved in that small smile he always had whenever he read. "Forgive me for my inattention. No, I am not religious."

Tilting her head, she sent him a questioning look. "Any reason why?"

"Why, I feel that one should accept knowledge for what it is, rather than to have one's view constrained by the rules and regulations of a particular world view," he answered. After a sip of tea, he placed a marker into his book and set it onto the table. "This is not to say that I find the belief system of the Elimineans to be, say, detrimental. Quite the opposite when one considers that Etruria is the cultural pinnacle of Elibe by popular consensus. One cannot argue that the credit lies with Saint Elimine's altruistic principles. However..." To Lily, he looked distinctly uncomfortable now as he smiled sheepishly and removed his monocle to clean it off with a corner of his sleeve. Without it, he looked so boyish that Lily was momentarily distracted.

"Um..." _What could he possibly be embarrassed about?_ she wondered. Then she realized that she had forgotten the other thing that he was, something even more defining than being a scholar. "Of course, no one's ever heard of a religious shaman before," she thought aloud, and his slight facial wince at her words made her feel guilty about saying it so bluntly.

Replacing his monocle, Canas nodded--hesitantly, she thought. "Other than Lleu of Caelin in the 6th century, there have been no other shamans willing to dabble in the teachings of Saint Elimine."

"So then, you're the second or so, right?" she asked, and was rewarded with another flinch from her house guest. Nonplussed, she considered reaching out to him--was something wrong?--but decided that he would tell her if he wanted to. "Are you all right?"

"Yes, of course," he said, smiling as if he hadn't a care in the world, other than that distracting little tic he was developing. Tapping the cover of his tome, he gave her what appeared to be an apologetic glance. "Actually, I was refreshing my memories by cross-referencing notable quotations from some of the anima-related literature I've come across here to this tome on Eliminean scripture. The similarities between the schools of magic regarding 'core magic' are of great interest to me at the moment, particularly how anima and light magic have the equivalent rituals of communion and prayer to access this greater power."

Lily bit her lip. He didn't need to know the connection; she had made a promise and intended to keep it. Nor did she care as to why he had excluded dark magic, when its rituals--whatever they did--had the same originator. "The meaning is different, I think," was all she could say.

"Is that so?" If it wasn't for the expression on his face, a mixture of intense curiosity and politeness warring in his eyes, she would've thought it a rhetorical question. As it was, his painfully obvious interest made her pause.

_I don't think just saying something will stop him. After all, he's a scholar, and they always need more. Plus, now that I think about it, I can use this to teach him how to control his magic, should he ever need to use it in the future. To be prepared for every eventuality is the Ilian way, after all!_

The voice that admitted, in the darkest hollow of her mind, that she did not want to help a friend become more skilled at that...soul-eating magic was ignored.

She had made a promise, after all.

"Yes, that's so," she remarked with a grin. "I'll prove it to you. Tomorrow, we're climbing the mountain, so remember to wear your most comfortable clothing!"

He said nothing for a long moment. "May I ask why?" he asked in an almost timid manner.

She resisted the urge to giggle at his expression. He didn't have to look so afraid! "There's a great spot for communing with the spirits, which will make it easier for you," she explained.

"You would really..." he trailed off as she began to nod, and a bright smile appeared on his face. "Lily, that's...how wonderful! How...that is to say--if there is any way I can give proper recompense for your continued kindness, I would be more than happy..."

_Wow_, she thought as he continued to blubber on, _that's a bit much just for that. He gets excited over some of the smallest things sometimes. I really do envy him. Well, if he's happy, I'm happy._

-0-

Huffing and puffing along an ill-marked trail, Canas cannot be quite sure as to the origin of it all, but he intends to see it through to its conclusion.

The oaks were bearing green leaves as he and Lily passed through them, and he smiled at the indication of life blooming in Ilia after the perpetual snowfall from winter. While there was still snow on the ground, it was little more than a thin layer dusting the ground instead of an immense obstacle to conquer every time he left the house. Consequently, he had given up in his attempts to get used to the snow and the bitter cold, but now that a semblance of summer had arrived, he thought that it might be nice if he left the house every so often. He had not realized until he had stepped outside this morning that the air was fresh, which compared favorably to the house, where the heavy scent of a dozen of Lily's strongest-smelling herbs had established dominion over the small abode. Even now it lingered on his clothing, completely obliterating the pleasant scent of irial that Lily used when she did the laundry.

Lily paused shortly after they entered the clearing beyond the oak grove, and, after a side glance at him that he couldn't interpret, bowed her head. "Please watch over us as we ascend the mountain," she said, and at first he could only watch her in bemusement. _Why does this look so familiar_, he wondered, racking his mind for a slip of a hint.

_She took seven steps after the trees_--

Oh. Shame coursed through him as he grasped the meaning of the memory. Lily's parents, the very people he had initially intended to meet when he traveled from Lycia northwards, were buried here. How could he have forgotten? Being here in Corinth, with Lily...it was as if the last nine months had passed by quickly, as if he had gotten lost in the finest and rarest of tomes. He could remember specific events, pleasant memories, and that unpleasant one that he tried so hard not to give even the slightest consideration to, but they had little to no chronological distinction to them. Perhaps that was the effect of winter in Ilia; three-quarters of a year suspended in the comfort of one's home.

But that was no reason for him to forget her parents, and so he knelt down and thought very hard on how disappointed he was that he was unable to meet them, and how much respect he had for their younger daughter. He was unsure whether he was engaging in prayer or communing or even communication, but his father had once said, in a burst of clarity, that there was a greater force always listening to the words we want to say, so it might as well be best to indulge them.

The raspy, scratchy murmur of Lily's footfalls on the thin layer of snow alerted him to her presence. Looking up at her, he could not understand what the expression on her face meant--he had never seen it before. "What are you doing?" she asked him, adjusting her hold on her satchel.

He gestured towards the area where he believed her parents were buried. "I was giving your parents the proper respect, naturally."

"Naturally?"

"Yes," he answered, unsure what to make of the small smile on her face.

She took a few steps away from him, continuing to face him as she did so. "You're always so kind, aren't you?" Before he could formulate a reply, she held a hand out to him. "But you don't need to prostrate yourself for the spirits to hear you. Or..." she trailed off as her smile dampened somewhat, and he felt an odd sort of loss about it, "the other countries...do they do--" she waved her outstretched hand at him, "--that for their departed?"

"Many do," he responded as he got up; the snow, thin layer or not, was seeping through his trousers. Her hand was still being offered to him, and he felt warm when their fingers intertwined. They began to walk towards the mountain, Lily with a slight lead, when Canas, scrutinizing the towering height of the mountain with a jaundiced eye, asked, "How...will we ascend to the summit, or..." He trailed off as he did not want to admit to her that he would prefer 'or' himself; scholars, even ones trained in the art of carrying massive magic tomes as himself, were on the whole unfit for physical exertion.

Lily scoffed, which immediately set him at ease. "I would if I were gathering irial blooms, but I have still have plenty at home." Somehow, this revelation did not startle him in the least. "And anyway, I don't think it'd be too safe," she continued, giving a look that suggested she was referring to him, "I can't imagine you get too much exercise on my couch, so let's take this slowly."

"Forgive me," he said pointedly, the rush of heat to his face an irritating shock. She glanced at him and squeezed his hand, an action that failed to make him feel any better.

"You're such a nice person that you can't even glare right," she said, smiling. "I only meant to say that you don't look any better from when I first met you. You even still look kind of...underfed." Sighing, she turned away from him. "Well, I guess that's my fault more than anything."

Hearing that, his slight annoyance gave way to an acute sense of guilt. Lily's penchant for burdening herself, whether it was necessary or not, worried him more the longer he stayed with her. There was a funny tickling in his stomach that was all but an order to do something, but he was at a loss at what to do. _What was that proverb...ah, yes, one good turn deserves another_, he thought, and squeezed her hand in what he hoped was a comforting manner. When she turned back to him with an inscrutable expression, he grew flustered--_what should I do now?_--and scoured his mind for an appropriate response. "Ah...well, y-your meals are always, er, delicious, so that is certainly not the problem..."

That was definitely a smile on her face now, and he relaxed. She had quite the lovely smile, and thinking that vaguely unsettled him for reasons he did not want to identify. "That's very nice of you to say. Though, I'm not really fishing for compliments." She laughed suddenly, her light eyes almost shining with exuberance. "Canas, we should go fishing! Have you ever gone before?"

While the beginning of the trail up the mountain was relatively easy to traverse, even as distracted as he was by the idea of fishing--something he had mastered when he had no gold and a good tome to read, otherwise known as 'frequently'--the path began to narrow and grow steeper. Lily strode ahead of him while he breathed heavily and stopped every so often to remove pebbles from the soles of his only pair of boots. His feet throbbed, and he began to wonder if Lily hadn't been right about his lack of exercise. He would have to do something about that, he decided. The fresh air would facilitate better understanding of the connection the schools of magic had with each other.

"Here! Come up here!" he could hear Lily call out. When he broke away from his thoughts, he saw that she was quite a distance away, gesturing at him to hurry from a higher ledge. Hurrying to reach her, he briefly scanned his eyes upwards and deduced they were perhaps halfway up the formidable mountain. Once he reached her, she pointed down, where he could see mist rising from a good-sized opening, set in such a way that he was unable to judge if it was simply a recess or an actual entrance to a cave.

"What is that?" he asked, crouching down to get a better view. Lily began to climb down the other side of the ledge, carefully making her way down to the steam.

"A gift from nature and magic!" She laughed as she jumped down, landing in front of the entrance. "Aren't you coming? Be careful; it's slippery!"

Heeding her advice, he followed her movements with a precision that belied his unassuming nature; traveling for as many years as he had gave him an intuitive skill in doing just as his guide said, as generally the consequences of failure included grave injury and death. He had no interest in learning those sort of lessons. But, as he jumped from his position onto the spot where Lily had landed, he slipped and scrambled to stay in a standing position until she grabbed his arm to steady him. "I told you to be careful, didn't I?" she admonished.

His heart beating wildly, he was surprised to see her face appear so blurry from his right eye. It took him a moment to realize that his monocle had fallen, but by then she was already replacing it--how wonderful it was that the creator of the monocle had understood that it needed a cord to attach it to clothing, lest it fall of during events like impromptu mountain climbing! "Thank you, Lily," he said, his voice slightly breathless as he adjusted the monocle more to his liking. "That was...somewhat foolish of me."

"I would say so," he heard her mutter. Before he could apologize for worrying her, she held a finger out. The look on her face was quite possibly the most effective antidote to conversation he had ever experienced, and he had attended lectures in magic universities. "You need new boots if we're going to do this again."

He blinked. "Oh." And then, inexplicably, "Thank you."

"Good." And then, like a clearing of clouds on a Thrian spring day, her expression brightened. "Come on," she urged, pulling him into the opening. The mist assaulted his face, and he gasped when he realized that it felt warm.

"This is...steam?" he asked as he removed his monocle to clear it off.

"Mm-hm. Welcome to the hot springs of Mount Athene!"

Canas blankly stared at the scene before him. First of all, he would have to admit being at a natural disadvantage, as his sight was determined to be hindered whether or not he wore his monocle. There was steam. Lots of steam. And there was something that appeared to be a bubbling body of water. Therein lay the problem, as he had natural expectations for the word 'spring'. The connotation of the word made him think of a body of water that could comfortably fit several adult-sized humans. What lay in front of him, despite the illusion the steam and his own weak eye was trying to impress upon him, was a puddle. A _hot_ puddle, but a puddle nonetheless.

"Oh. My...it appears to be of above-average temperature," he commented, unsure of what else he could say. Lily seemed quite taken by the...hot spring, and, well, it would not do for him to dash her happiness by admitting that he thought that the bathtub was bigger in diameter.

The blur of green nodded. "That's the magic of it!" she exclaimed. Before he could go into a explanation of the scientific occurrence that formed such wonders as the puddle, she had left go of him and moved up to the bubbling surface. "It's the perfect place to rest your feet and let the healing energies of the spirits wash over you."

Hesitantly, he inched forward until he could more or less make out her form. She had dropped her satchel and was in the process of removing her boots. Below the length of the skirt of her dress, her legs past her knees were exposed. While it was common for the young ladies of Etruria and Lycia to wear skintight stocking-boots, somewhere along the line Canas had forgotten that Lily had legs, or rather, that they existed past the expanse of skirts and stockings and boots. An imitation pegasus knight uniform was one thing; bared flesh was quite another. And in Ilia, at that!

They were nice, though. Blurry, but nice.

These thoughts, foreign to a mind focused on more scholarly pursuits, made him feel...strange. It seemed wrong to think of Lily in that way, whatever way it was. For his own peace of mind, he adopted the ambivalence that had served him so well in other endeavors, such as avoiding his feelings on elder magic, and focused on the matter at hand. Carefully sitting down a ways away from Lily, he took off his worn boots, rolled his trousers up to the knee, and eased his feet into the steaming water. It was deeper than he had expected; the water bubbled midway up his shins. A pleasant tingle pulsed along his sore feet, and he closed his eyes and smiled. The first pull of sleep tugged at his consciousness, but Lily's voice, softer, more mellow than usual, broke through sleep's spell. "Canas, are you ready to begin your first commune with the spirits?"

"Hmm..." With effort, he opened his eyes and looked at the blurs that comprised his friend. "I believe so, yes."

"Good. But I want you to know one thing before we begin."

"Yes?"

"It...would be unfair of me to talk about how evil dark magic can be without acknowledging the darker sides of anima and light magic. It is possible to feel so at peace with nature that you lose sense of yourself. Your soul, so lightened by the presence of the soul of nature, might leave your body in order to reach that great spirit.

"And also..." Peals of her laughter echoed from the walls of the small cave. It was hypnotic how her voice bounced around while still being directed towards him. "I shouldn't be telling you one of the family secrets like this, but the skill of casting without a tome calls for a greater dedication to communing than the mainstream study of anima calls for. All I think you need is to be able to fully appreciate the vastness of magic so that you can hold strong against even your own type of magic." Green blurs lowered; he supposed that she had lowered her head. "Does that sound fine?"

"Certainly," he answered, all the while wondering if he could ever want to use elder magic again. Despite that, he smiled, on the assumption that she could see him. "I'm ready."

"Close your eyes."

He did so, somewhat grateful that he no longer had to rely on his impaired vision.

"Breathe in through your nose, and out through your mouth. Savor each breath."

After a few minutes of this, wherein he did as he was told and felt nothing, he heard splashing sounds. "Keep going," he heard her say. Obedience was imprinted on him, and indeed, he found it easier to listen. In, pause, out. In, pause, out. He ignored the shifting sounds. In, pause, out.

It was the pressure against his back than caused him to stop. Something, probably a finger, moved across his back, swooping down, soaring upwards, over and over again. The sensation of being touched by an invisible party set off all sorts of confusing signals in his mind despite his attempts at rationalization, and he squirmed in response. "Lily--"

"Concentrate," she snapped, the word formed so close to his ear that he had no choice but to acquiesce. "Keep breathing. Focus on the circle."

In, pause, out. Around and around. It was difficult, but he forced himself to relax under her ministrations. In, pause, out. Circle. Its most common symbolic interpretation was that of something continuous, something that went on forever without reprieve. Commonly a positive association throughout the history of humankind, and yet...

_It prickled along his palms like mosquito bites  
_  
Spells involving elder magic frequently invoked a magic circle underneath the user. Underneath. Surround. Entrap. No. It was the incantation, those ancient words that charged the circle, that linked this world to the one of shadows. It was a link that had to be properly regulated, and the stronger one grew, the more the magic demanded to keep that fragile balance. Equivalent exchange, proper and fair until the inevitable misstep on behalf of the user.

_It's stinging inside  
_  
Elder magic. He had believed for years, over his mother's insistence, over his father's condition, that it was essentially good. All magic was a tool in the end, of course, but he felt that elder magic had the same potential for good as the others. It was not dark, it was not filthy, and it was certainly not evil. It was just misrepresentation. He demurred at wielding it, but he believed nonetheless. Even after what he had seen with his own brothers, after how he had felt when he was taken over by the magic...

_I can't breathe_--

It was a cycle. Elder magic users begat elder magic users. The ones who survived the magic, who survived the reparations, were able to carry on. They were entrapping themselves in a self-prepetuating cycle, learning without actually learning. The spell circle was a net.

_No. I will not live that way. I seek true knowledge. The path to discover it does not lie solely within elder magic. There is something greater governing the essence of magic and...it may be arrogant of me, but I wish to discover it. If I must pass on anything, it will be more than just the basic truths._

A quiet peace settled in his mind at the thought. Nothing had ever felt so right, so simple and true and _his_. It was not the obligation of his bloodline poking and prodding at him in the form of his mother, nor was it the living embodiment of the consequences that were his brothers. It was not the prejudice carried by others, as he was shown in that southern Etrurian abbey. Instead, it was the joy he felt to see others bloom in their need for knowledge, in having a goal that had everything to do with learning.

Here, branded by a circle he wanted to break, he could finally admit to himself that he had never intended to study elder magic in the way his mother had wanted. He had seen the depths of darkness, the abyss where shamans and druids and his father and his brothers had sacrificed bits and pieces of their identities until there was nothing in their eyes but a distorted reflection of himself.

No. Not when he had so much more to learn.

No. Not when what little he knew could help others in ways he had yet to discover.

He was a scholar, first and foremost.

Later, Lily only looked a little disappointed to his untrained eyes when he told her that he had been unable to commune with the spirits. After all, what is communing with the spirits when one does not find any spirits to commune with? Privately, the words of the druid who called communing nothing more than mages indulging in their mind's babble returned to him. In the light of his own experience, Canas had to agree, just a bit.

However, what was knowledge without self-reflection?

-to be continued...-

I'm very sorry that this chapter is a week late. I work six days a week while taking classes, and I really want every chapter to be as perfect as I can make it. While I haven't shown an aptitude for actually following the biweekly schedule set for this serial, I will continue to keep it in hopes that I might be able to follow it.

Randomly, lily bulbs are indeed edible, though probably not poisonous if uncooked.

Anonymous reviewer thank yous go to Denaia and ceecee. All comments, questions, and sage advice is, as always, welcomed. But, while reviews are always appreciated, don't feel as though you have to.


	9. Slice of Life

Shadows Under the Oak Tree

(C) Intelligent Systems and Nintendo

-0-

9. Slice of Life  
(_It's rude to stare. Of salves and bellflowers._)

Canas found it odd that there was still snow on the ground and patches of gray clouds in the sky in the latter part of summer, when he was used to the kind of heat that was omnipresent and unyielding in the more temperate climates. It was the sort of comparison that made him, for once, appreciate the chill in the air as he left the house. Hanging loosely from one hand was a string, which was in turn attached to a box. He had gone fishing with Lily at a nearby river just yesterday, and he had found it a pleasant diversion. Lily had praised his skills at sitting still for hours until there was a nibble; for her own part, she had taken to finding plant life on the banks of the river for her medicinal creations. In the box were a few fish, carefully preserved overnight in the ice chest that was a staple for Ilian households. The fish were to be presented to a man on the other side of the village, who would then make a new pair of boots in exchange.

_The bartering system employed by the more rural villages is nothing short of fascinating_, he thought. _It is a shame that monetary recompense has become a preference in much of Elibe_. Certainly, he would have preferred to directly work for tomes, instead of having to endure the tedious nature of carefully saving every piece of gold, foregoing meals for the sake of economy, and still having to beg and plead the propietor for a discount. Sometimes it did not get as far as the negotiating, and he would be forced to watch a merchant's caravan ease down the road with the tome he had so desperately wanted.

As he walked, somewhat depressed now, he noticed the activity outside the houses were much more than what he had seen months before in the dead of winter. Members of the Ilian Mercenary Knights, an all-male company analogous to the pegasus knights, were scattered about. A lady he recognized as a friend of Lily's whom they had eaten with months before was chatting amicably with one such knight, her child comfortably sitting upon his shoulders.

_Everyone is always doing their duty_, Lily had mentioned once, pride in her voice, in the depths of her eyes. _To disregard that is like trying not to breathe.  
_  
_Duty...it is a formidable word_. Canas considered the knights he had seen in Elibe, always looking towards their lord and country. Intellectually, he respected them for their unwavering gaze, yet, beyond that...could he honestly say that he understood them? It seemed much easier for people to understand why knights fight before even bothering to comprehend why he was seeking knowledge.

Could Lily understand? Would she even care to?

He frowned. As much as he liked and respected her, it was odd that his thoughts would direct themselves to her feelings on the matter. Considering that he continued his studies due to her kindness, the answer seemed apparent. And yet--

A giggle interrupted his thoughts. Turning around, he noticed a veritable gaggle of children a respectable distance behind him, all bundled up despite the fact that it was the month of the shield, the last full month before the autumn equinox and the only dark affinity cycle of the year. They were all staring up at him with wide, questioning eyes, mouths perfect little 'o's. He blinked; did they require something from him? Why him, at that? A glance around revealed that the available adults were ignoring the group of children.

_Perhaps they are merely seeking attention_, he deduced, and crouched down to their eye level. "Good day," he said cheerfully.

They continued to stare at him.

He smiled in what he felt was a friendly manner.

They stared a moment longer, and then, amid piercing shrieks and giggles, ran away.

Canas did not move, stunned as he was by their reaction. When he did stand up, another glance confirmed to him that the children's action had not gone unnoticed; quite a few people were giving him strange looks. With his cheeks burning in such a way that he knew was not going to go unnoticed, he quickly turned around and strode away as fast as he could go without completely announcing that he was trying to escape this very uncomfortable situation.

He was sure it was not working as he had hoped.

-0-

Amid various bubbling concoctions, essential oils and tinctures of all colors and types, Lily kept her eyes on the text in her lap, her finger trailing down the page as half-formed words lingered on her lips. The air inside the room was nigh-unbreathable to anyone unfamiliar with apothecary practices, and she knew all too well that, even with the door closed, the odor had infiltrated the rest of her home. It made her very happy to have a reason to send Canas out, as his coughing, even muffled through the door, was distracting. She had to make sure that all the medicines she was preparing turned out right the first time, or else she would have to beg her contacts for more ingredients, and she didn't have enough tea and mountain herbs to make the trade worth it. Also, to even have to ask would lower her reputation--at least, the reputation her mother's family had set for their little practice. The village may not have been worth a notation on the maps, but for centuries Albion's little sanctuary had made a name for itself regardless.

When Canas came back, she decided she would make him some honey-lemon tea to soothe his cough. A package of honeycomb had arrived yesterday while they were out, and she had plans for it. Not even a centimeter would go to waste if she did this right, and they'd be eating better for it.

_Ah, Mother must be proud of me now_, she thought as she skimmed the page. _Proper planning is the path to living well, just like she said_. A quick glance at a large iron pot, which held some water that a smaller glass container was sitting in, revealed that the burner underneath had burnt itself out. She placed her index finger along the rim of the burner, all the while letting the incantation tumble through her mind. In small bursts, clenching and unclenching so that her innate magic would do no more than trickle out of her, she let the spell manifest itself as a tiny spark dancing on the tip of her finger, which she lowered into the center of the metal ring until the burner re-ignited and singed her finger. With a tiny squeak, she blew on her finger, though the pain didn't compare to earlier, when her sleeve caught fire as she was starting her brewing. With events like that, she was happy that Canas was not around. She didn't want to betray whatever image he had of her that made him look at her as if she knew valuable and amazing things. Though, lately she had noticed other looks from him, ones that unnerved her. Ones that made her think of Kelial, four years ago and bedridden at her house.

Frowning and smiling all at once, she returned her attention to the text she had been studying. It was an ancestor's observations about the theory of magical infusion, and why it was not plausible at that point in time. The reasoning for this was because of the impossibility of finding a magical container, such as a dragon or wyvern stone, to store the essence of fire. All the dragonstones torn from the corpses of dragons during The Scouring were used to energize magic tomes today, and very occasionally a master blacksmith would acquire a stone and use it to create special swords. It was a depressing topic for any native Ilian, considering the great reverence they had for the ice dragon that had cared for them and eventually left to protect them from being called traitors by the rest of the continent, and Lily felt no different.

Honorable Albion had the right idea on that subject, she felt. No, she knew. Honorable Albion was right, period.

Faintly, she could hear a knock at her front door. As Canas would not knock--she hoped--it had to be a visitor. Setting down her book, she left her workroom and headed for the front door, curious all the while. Sickness in the short summers were uncommon, and she had been expanding the practice of stocking everyone's cabinets with curatives all year round instead of doing so just for the winter. Everyone stayed away during the brewing season, anyway.

She had to look down to get a good view of the person on her doorstep. Doing so brought her face-to-face with an elderly lady who was decidedly not a fellow villager. The clothing was Ilian by nature, particularly the indigo cloak the woman wore over her graying hair and narrow shoulders. This lady reminded Lily of the time she went to Edessa as a child, during the Festival of the Ice Dragon, and saw a fortuneteller predict her mother's future. The augur had been very old, a strange, almost fearsome wisdom lurking in her eyes, and the impression of that moment lingered in Lily's mind as she studied the woman in front of her. It had to be that memory that was giving her this strange feeling, as if something was bearing down upon her, an odd, yet powerful energy. It was making her palms tingle unpleasantly, as if they were being poked at by sewing needles.

Forcing the ominous feeling aside, she smiled at the woman. "Hello. You must be a visitor to Corinth. It is a pleasure to receive visitors, as we get so few of them!" She giggled, trying to encourage a smile from the woman.

"Yes, that is so. I heard of an impressive apothecary who dwelt up north." Now the woman smiled; now Lily felt an odd disquiet nibbling inside her. "The smell of this place would indicate that this person would be you."

"...I certainly hope I can help you, if you have traveled a long way just to see me." With a moment's hesitance, Lily opened the door towards the strange woman. "Please, come in. Think of my home as your own." As the woman brushed beside her, the disquieting feeling began to gnaw inside Lily.

Was she imagining things, or was she feeling...magic from the woman?

-0-

As Canas was quickly discovering, Corinth may have been a small village, but that did not mean that it was a particularly easy one to navigate.

Lily had told him that a man who worked with leather lived on the other side of the village. However, she neglected to tell him which house this shoemaker lived, and Canas was still embarrassed enough by his earlier encounter with that pack of children that he refused to make himself a distinct annoyance among the villagers by knocking on all the doors on the eastern end of town. This created quite the dilemma in his mind, as he was still in possession of the fish, which would soon make themselves very apparent with their stench no matter how much ice they were packed with. Plus, even in the height of summer, it was still quite chilly to him, even if Lily had exclaimed that it was hotter than usual for the time of the year.

So, he wandered, casually examining the oaken houses as he tried to remain as inconspicuous as possible with his bundle of fish.

"You look very suspicious."

Canas stopped and looked around, nervously adjusting his monocle until he saw the mysterious speaker. "Oh!" he exclaimed, holding the monocle to his face lest it fall off in his surprise. "You...you are M-Miss...Rosliand, am I correct?"

"Mm. Thank you for remembering me." The woman stood from the low branch she had been sitting on and jumped down. As her long blue cloak flew up, Canas noticed the shape of a large sheathed sword hanging from behind her slender hips. Then she landed, and the ends of her cloak fluttered around her shins. "Mister Canas, a pleasure."

"Oh, er, yes. Likewise." Seeing Rosliand again reminded him of that battle, that horrible battle, and a shiver ran down his spine. It did not help that she was looking at him as if she could read his mind, her eyes narrowed under her bangs. He felt as if he should say something, if only to distract her gaze. "Miss Rosliand, is there something I can do for you?" he asked politely, hoping she would respond in the negative.

Rosliand smiled. "I am not so young as to be called 'miss'. As for your question, it seems I should be asking the same of you."

He chuckled out of embarrassment as he let his fingers run down the cord attached to his monocle. "That is true, I suppose."

"I see. You're making a trade, judging by that package. With whom?"

"Ah...a certain man who makes footwear."

"Hm. Master Tolle, the leather worker. You'll want to go to that house." Rosliand pointed to a house whose chimney was merrily puffing away. "You're in luck. One of the hunters felled a buck two days ago, and although she is overconfident about her success, her kill was impressive."

"Oh. I see." While Canas did not care about the finer points of hunting, he dutifully nodded. "Well, thank you for your assistance, Mi--Rosliand."

She smiled, running a hand through her short, dark blue hair as she regarded him in such a way that he felt uncomfortably bare under her gaze. The dark color of her eyes paled in comparison to the impression he could not shake, as if a person's inner being would unravel before her gaze like one would open a scroll, and he found himself preferring Lily's penchant for searing glares than Rosliand's cool appraisal. "You're welcome," she finally said, "but if you don't mind, I'll follow you a bit longer."

"Er...may I ask why?"

"Just to talk." She tilted her head, an eyebrow arching as she continued to stare into him. "If it's not a bother, of course."

"...No." Canas fought to smile. "Of course not."

-0-

"...I hope you are enjoying the tea," Lily murmured, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear absently as she tried to be casual.

"Yes." The elderly woman took a sip before closing her eyes. "Raspberry leaf, isn't it?"

Lily plucked at a wrinkle just above her knee. "Yes, it is."

"So, are you an herbalist with a preference for making tea blends, or an apothecary who understands how to create medicines?"

"Um, both." When she noticed that the woman was staring at her, Lily decided to elaborate. "My mother's preference was in combining both skills, so that is what I've been trained to do."

The woman stared at Lily in such a way that made the younger woman want to jump up in indignation. Anxiety crawled along her arms, making her skin itch. "I see," the elderly lady said, arranging her long shawl over her head while still watching Lily with eyes that seemed to tear a way into someone's soul without any regard for the person. "Perhaps you would know what I can do for this." She held out her hands, small, wrinkled things that made something in Lily lurch, though they looked exactly like any other hands that had shriveled with age.

Instead of coming to the other woman's side, Lily reached over the table to gently take the gnarled hands in hers. She flinched in surprise as their hands made contact, shocked by an odd tremor. In Ilian lore, to feel such a jolt meant that their souls were clashing together, but it seemed more than that to her, though she couldn't place why. She kept her eyes on the hands, which appeared so inoffensive, instead of acknowledging the stare she knew was being placed upon her. The knuckles seemed to be swollen, though not enough that there would be constant pain. Lily let out a slow, dragging exhale before letting go. She didn't want to say anything else, but to refuse to provide treatment was an insult to her mother's philosophy.

"It appears you have a slight inflammation of the joints," she said, her voice soft and low to her own ears. "I do have a salve to relieve some of the pain, if it pleases you."

"Hm." She looked up into the elderly woman's eyes, which seemed softer than before. "It would be appreciated."

Lily nodded before rising from her seat, pacing her steps so that it didn't look as if she were fleeing from her sitting room. Entering her workroom, she brushed past all her bubbling creations, giving them a once-over to make sure they were proceeding along nicely, before reaching the back wall. She knelt, digging her fingers into a hairline crack in the wall and sliding it open, revealing glass containers of various balms and salves along shelves in an ice-formed chest. This was Ilian ingenuity at its best, she believed, taking advantage of the climate to store foods and medicines for a longer period of time than possible in warmer conditions. She took out a bottle and slid the panel shut, lest the heat of the room melt the ice.

When she returned to the sitting room, the feeling that there was a magical pulse emanating from the woman returned with greater force. Cold bumps rose along Lily's arms, and she resisted the urge to peer into the elderly woman's aura right then to confirm her feelings. As it was, she walked up to the couch where the woman had made herself comfortable--Canas' usual place, no less--and said in a demure tone, "Would you like me to apply the salve, Lady Mother?"

"My." The woman chuckled, a sliver of kindness in her eyes that was not there before. "What a respectful child. Certainly a rarity in this day and age. Your parents must be proud."

"My parents are dead," Lily stated, unsure of how to take the woman's words. On one hand, they were polite; on the other, there was a _meaning_ behind them, a mocking echo that insulted Lily just by breathing in the same air as the woman had taken to form those words. She unscrewed the top of the container, and then, feeling that she had been too harsh, shook her head. "Forgive me for my rudeness. It has only been just over a year since they passed away."

_Her eyes are the same color as healthy soil_, Lily thought as she noticed a softening to the woman's expression. Lines on the elderly woman's face smoothed, just a bit, and Lily had to wonder if the woman felt a similar wariness for her as she did for the woman. "You still grieve, despite their lingering spirits?" the woman asked, and Lily nearly flinched.

_It's our belief, but...no. That, and the magic I keep feeling...she's more than a simple magic user.  
_  
"It's only natural," Lily said, fighting to remain calm. "They raised me, taught me everything I know. They inspired me and gave me not just life, but a meaning to it." Dipping her fingers into the cool cream, Lily reached for the woman's hands, gently rubbing the salve onto the swollen joints. In that same way, she let herself slip into another world, where magic energies were visible. A sheath of purple covered the gnarled hand like a well-made glove.

_I've seen this color before._

She let herself drift back to reality just as the woman was saying, "--a lot of praise for them."

Taking a moment to puzzle out the last words, as well as the unaffected gaze the elderly woman was bestowing upon her, Lily closed her eyes and smiled. "Well, they were a wonderful inspiration to me. I'm sure it's very hard to be a parent, so I try to give them the respect they deserve." There was a heartbeat's pause as Lily opened her eyes and looked up at the woman. There was something about the shape of the face, the lines therein, that made her think about the phrase 'lines of wisdom carved into the elderly', and that only made her smile.

"I'm sure you can relate to my parents' feelings," Lily continued, spurred on by her conclusion. "After all, you have children of your own too, Lady Niime."

-0-

It was mid-afternoon by Canas' guess when he left the leather worker's house, Rosliand in tow. She had disappeared for a while as Canas and Master Tolle conversed...or rather, as Canas tried to make conversation and Master Tolle grunted out a response. It reminded him of the tailor Lily had sent him to a long time ago, and though he did not mind the taciturn nature of these people, Canas had to admit that it seemed as though nothing had really changed for him outside of Lily's house.

_I should expect as much, considering that I tend not to stray from it_, he had thought after Master Tolle had muttered something that could be construed as either a day to pick up his new boots or an observation on today's weather. He had thanked the leather worker profusely, though the man's dour face held only dull resentment as Canas had exited with all the haste necessary in a retreat.

Rosliand said nothing, even when she returned, and Canas only wanted to return to the house and find a nice, large tome to get lost in until dinner, and quite possibly beyond then. He could hear her soft footsteps scraping against the traces of snow as she walked beside him. It made him nervous. _Why is she following me?_ and _What did she want to talk about?_ bounced around in his head as she continued to let the quiet open up between them like the chasms he had seen in Lily's picture book, page 24, about Bern's highlands. There was no urge on his part to start the inevitable conversation, and the very knowledge of its inevitability made something squirm inside of him. The only inevitable prospect that he knew of was death; as a traveling scholar, he avoided taxes handily.

"I like bellflowers."

Canas blinked, frowned as he replayed what he had just heard, then turned to look at Rosliand. "Pardon me?" he asked, unsure if she had been talking for a while and he had been so rude as to tune her out. An apology was already settled on his tongue if that were so.

"I like bellflowers. They're a sad flower, but they're very pretty." He continued to stare at her, hoping a point would make itself apparent. For her part, she bit her lower lip and smiled, though to him, it did not seem to reach her eyes. "I saw them for the first time when I was on a mission in Lycia, during the spring. I hear you're well-traveled, so perhaps you would know of them."

"Er, no, forgive me." In the time it took to adjust his monocle, he decided to inquire further. "Please forgive my rudeness, but, ah, was that what you wanted to talk about?"

"My jobs have never allowed me to exchange pleasantries often. I state what is necessary and follow orders." Rosliand paused, and to Canas it appeared as if she were searching for something by the way her hand touched her chin and her eyes narrowed. "Since you are plainly nervous around me, I thought I would try to go in a roundabout way."

His eyes widened. "Nervous? How...ah, does it really seem that way to you?"

"Yes. But I suspect you're a nervous type anyway." She raised an eyebrow at his expression of surprise and dismay. "How are you enjoying your stay with Miss Lily?"

"I, ah...it's fine. W-why do you ask?" he asked, completely bewildered.

"I thought that changing the conversation to her might relax you." As he gaped at her, she shrugged. "Perhaps not."

Canas sighed. "Forgive me."

"I'll try this again. Mister Canas, how are you liking our village?"

"...I find it to be a very pleasant place. The oaks are simply marvelous, and the area as a whole seems very comfortable."

"Do you think you will be staying for some time?"

"I, er..." He adjusted his monocle, unsure of how to answer the question. He was here to study, of course, but he had to admit that he found the atmosphere enlightening. And Lily...well. The experience might not be half as pleasant without her and the kindness she wielded like a blunt object. It was refreshing to be around someone who cared so straightforwardly without expecting anything in return. If only he could offer her something of equal value, something to show how much he appreciated her and her kindness...

Her...and her kindness? When had he started to separate the two, no matter how right it felt?

"I think that's enough of an answer," he heard Rosliand say quietly. She smiled and patted him on the shoulder. "Stay a bit longer. I'm sure Lily would like that. No matter what others are saying, I can't help but approve."

"'What others are saying'?" he inquired, frowning a little in confused worry. "What are they saying? Am I...the cause of dissension here?"

She held a finger to her lips, her eyes once again sharp and intense. "It doesn't matter. People always talk. It only matters if they have something to say." Turning away, she walked a couple paces before stopping. "Let's talk again sometime."

"Ah, as you like..." he trailed off as she took her leave without further preamble. With a sigh, he looked ahead, where Lily's house was a distant speck, then closed his eyes.

_I think she was trying to be kind, yet...it sounded as if she were saying two things at once. Truly, if one could understand other people without a hitch, they would be happily ensconced in the seat of knowledge._

-0-

"Hm," Lady Niime said, "you certainly are an astute girl."

Lily bowed her head, her hands still holding Lady Niime's. "I am honored by your kind words," she murmured, heavy, indistinct emotions tumbling in her stomach. Her words were sincere; that Lady Niime was in her home, seeking her care, was more than words could express. Of course, since Canas had mentioned that his mother had stopped by months before, she could not assume that such a vaunted figure in contemporary magical studies had come solely to seek her out.

And yet, why was Lady Niime going through such an act in the first place?

"How strange it is to be treated in such a manner. One would think I were of noble blood," she heard Lady Niime say in barely concealed amusement. Looking up, Lily saw that Lady Niime's expression was kind, a complete turnaround from the cool, detached woman from before. Loosening her grip of Lady Niime's weathered hands, Lily stood up, casting her doubts away in favor of a bright smile.

"I don't have any use for nobility, Lady Niime. You're practically a living legend to me." Lily said, her serious tone belying her smile. "I would be honored to have you stay for dinner. Canas would probably like that."

The expression on Lady Niime's face was unreadable, something that made Lily frown inwardly. She didn't know why, but...shouldn't a mother look a little happier to see her son? "Where is that child, anyway?"

"Oh, I sent him out to get a new pair boots for himself. His old ones are really worn down and should have been replaced a long time ago, but I think he just didn't notice and spent all his money on books..." Realizing that she was rambling now, Lily stopped abruptly and smiled. It was probably not the best idea to tell his mother that what her son made up in intelligence, he lacked in basic common sense.

Lady Niime raised an eyebrow, as if she could read Lily's thoughts. Lily blushed. "I see. Well, I came here to see you."

"Me?" The heat on Lily's face lessened with her shock. "Whatever for?"

"First, I was interested in the anima user who got my son to finally start using magic." Lady Niime pursed her lips, though Lily thought that if she tilted her head just so, it looked more like a smile. It was too bad every other way yielded a grimace. "You successfully did in less than nine months what I could not in twenty-three years."

"A month," Lily said quietly, bothered by the idea. Dark magic and Canas were two things she never wanted to think of in conjunction again. "And I didn't do a thing. He chose to use it."

"Perhaps, but he did it for you, am I correct? Quite possibly to save you?"

"Please," Lily bit out, insulted by the very idea. "He didn't save me, but he nearly lost himself."

Lady Niime folded her hands over her lap, her expression grim. "Is that so? He was as vague as always. That he could pull himself out of the magic's lure and continue to function as he did before bodes good things for his future use of it."

Irritation prickled just underneath the skin, and Lily couldn't resist acting on it. "Canas is special, whether he uses magic or not." It seemed as though her words had no effect, if Lady Niime's completely untroubled demeanor was a hint. She looked away, playing with the hem of her sleeves as she said, "You said 'first'. Did you have something else to say?"

"I would like to talk about dragons."

A stillness washed over Lily's body, completely and utterly freezing every muscle. _Oh no_, she thought as she stared at Lady Niime. _No one's supposed to know about that. Not after Iris'...her whole family...it's the only reason that makes sense...  
_  
"Are you all right?"

"...You should go to the Festival of the Ice Dragon in Edessa. It's in the latter anima cycle of the year. That is the culmination of good feelings towards dragons."

"There is more," Lady Niime said, and Lily could see that Lady Niime would not stop until she knew it all. It was in her eyes, so different in color from her son's but capable of conveying that same craving for knowledge.

"Not from me." Lily closed her eyes, unnerved by Lady Niime's gaze, its intensity overbearing. "And that's all I have to say."

"Well, that is...too bad." Taking her staff, Lady Niime stood up with its help. "I suppose I will take my leave, then. Give my son my regards."

Lily wanted to stop Lady Niime, to apologize for any rudeness on her part, yet she could only watch as the elderly lady opened the door and walked out, closing it with a gentle click. She wanted advice on what to do now, but her parents could only give her comfort, their spirits little more than whispers when she needed shouts. The panic that tumbled through her hurt. If Lady Niime knew, who else did? Canas? The magic community?

The magic users who had murdered her sister's family?

_Iris...Iris...you shouldn't have left. You took half a secret and made it whole with that family, even though you knew...you're so selfish, sister. You were always so selfish...  
_

-to be continued...-

Managed to put in a tie-in to something said in one of the game's chapters. If you don't know it, it's all the better for me! With that said, thank you for reading, thank you to anonymous reviewers Denaia and TheWatcherandReader, and please don't force yourself to review; I'm honored simply by having people interested in the story!


	10. Scars

Shadows Under the Oak Tree

(C) Intelligent Systems and Nintendo

-0-

10. Scars   
(_Friendly threats. Inside her, outside her._)

"Miss Lily, repeat after me. 'Left is left. Right is right.'"

"... 'Left is left. Right is right.'"

"'When dodging left, move decisively to the left.'"

Lily sighed. "I learned my lesson already. I don't need the extra humiliation of being treated as if...as if I were five."

"Actually, I'm treating you like I would a ten-year-old," Rosliand stated. She tied the ends of the cloth wrap around Lily's upper right arm, then rose from Lily's bed. "This is one of the first lessons taught by the trainers of the Union."

"It's a very good one, too," Lily replied, gingerly moving her arm to test it. There was only the slightest twinge from the wound, a vicious swipe that had felt, at the time, as if the blade had scraped along the bone. _The wonders of modern medical knowledge_, she thought as she looked at the emptied vulnerary bottle on her night stand. "You did very well with the binding," she noted as she flexed her biceps and watched as the wrap held.

"I don't like that," Rosliand said, a twitch of her eyebrows the only hint of how deeply she felt. It had taken years for Lily to decipher Rosliand's behavior; she could easily see just how shaken the older woman was now.

Softly, Lily touched Rosliand's hand, fingertips to fingertips. "I flinched when I shouldn't have," she admitted, watching the older woman for a smirk, a softening in those indigo eyes, anything that would show that Rosliand could pretend to understand.

"You should never flinch."

"Right, that too." Lily sighed again. She knew what Rosliand was trying to push her into saying, and that it was marginally better than having to deal with 'First-class scout Rosliand', she of the stunted dialogue and smart little comments. "I'll have to train harder. Will you be free tomorrow?"

The corners of Rosliand's lips quirked up in a vile parody of a smile, revealing another persona of hers that Lily wasn't too fond of, 'Sadistic trainer Rosliand.' "When your arm heals, of course," she said generously, as if she wasn't looking forward in punishing Lily for the transgression of flinching.

"O-of course." With a shudder, Lily looked down at her lap. She was going to regret her request tomorrow, she could feel it already. "I _am_ very sorry for my mistake today."

"That's good." Reaching out, Rosliand began to stroke Lily's hair, which reminded Lily of times long ago, when Iris would comb her hair and pretend that she was just a little doll. "You need to lose that recklessness of yours. You're too important to die."

_How many times have I heard that lecture before?_ Lily wondered. "I'm just like anyone else here. We all have important things to do here."

"Mm. You always argue that."

Feeling slight put-out, Lily had to stop herself from pouting. "I'm sorry if I'm predictable."

Rosliand laughed, drawing away from Lily, drawing into herself. "Not at all. Your obstinacy, outright inability to change your way of thinking, and fondness for deliberately forgetting important lessons are all very admirable traits of yours."

Momentarily stunned, Lily couldn't muster up a look of indignation when she said, "...Those...don't sound like admirable _anything_, Rosliand."

"You would be surprised," Rosliand said with a smile. She turned to the door before running a hand through her flyaway hair. "I'll have Tinae make you dinner. You shouldn't work that arm too much."

A retort about it not even being her dominant arm died in Lily's throat as she thought over what her friend had just said. "Rosliand, don't. Tinae has her own troubles right now."

Rosliand did not turn around. "I understand, but..."

"She is proud that Nikeah is qualified to go down that path. You know Tinae. No one has greater pride in her children than her. But..." Lily paused, trying to collect her thoughts. "Tinae doesn't think about things until they're right upon her, and now that Jorah is going to Edessa soon, even though Mina's pregnant again..."

"He doesn't want to--"

"But he has to," Lily interrupted. "I know. It's just like how Tinae doesn't want her daughter to become a pegasus knight trainee. Ten years old is young--"

"You wanted to be one yourself."

_But Iris left when I was nine_, Lily didn't say. Instead, she took a deep breath. "But that's me. In this case, Nikeah's just filling a quota. If she were an orphan it would be fine..."

Rosliand shrugged her shoulders. "The Union can't support us if we're not willing to support them." There was a heartbeat's pause between the two women before she continued with, "To live here means to be comfortable with loss and sacrifice. We both know that."

"It's not just a matter of Tinae and Nikeah, or Mina and Jorah. It's the entire village." Lily slumped her shoulders, feeling weary all of a sudden. "But you're right. Please ask Grandma Yunice if she can make something."

"Thank you." Rosliand glanced back, giving Lily a warm smile. "Rest well."

After Rosliand closed the door behind her, Lily fell back onto the bed, wincing as she jostled her injured arm. She laid there, staring at the ceiling, and tried not to think about anyone else other than herself. Ruefully, she smiled at the wood slants as she thought, _If I'm not thinking about other people, or worrying about them, or caring for them, what am I here for?_

The thought unsettled her. She couldn't imagine living only for herself, without any constraints, with her own wants and needs first in her mind. It struck her as being a singularly barren lifestyle, not having a stationary life with day-to-day procedures and knowing that others needed her and that she needed them as well, but right now, when she was feeling too powerless to help her friends, she almost liked the idea.

_If only I could fly. If only I had real magic, the kind that can give everyone their dreams._

She closed her eyes and tried to sleep, but her mind was wide awake, sparking with thoughts and ideas and worries, lighting the way downward to the deeper regrets that weren't supposed to mean anything to her now.

_I can't do anything for them. I can protect them, and I can cure them...but I can't make a balm to soothe Tinae's heart. I can make special teas to ensure that Mina won't have to worry, but that's...not really the problem, is it?  
_  
_If I'm not doing something to help, I feel useless. And yet...I can't help them with this. I can only keep trying to make Ilia grow green, so that we don't have to sell our blood for food.  
_  
Opening her eyes, Lily sat up and looked around what had once been her parents' room. Bookcases lined the walls, only making room for the bed, its adjourning night stands, a small window and the door. There had to be something she could use in one of those books, something that would aid her research, even if her ancestors had done the same for centuries without anything to show for it.

_We fight, so that our children can live to fight, so that their children can live to fight. We're stuck in this cycle that everyone hates but no one wants to change._

_So, I'll break it. Somehow.  
_  
It was something to do.

-0-

Canas looked up from his tome when he heard the soft footfalls. "Rosliand?" he asked softly, rising from the couch as she approached. "Is Lily, ah, recovering from her injury?"

She looked at him, her face completely devoid of emotion. "Lily is fine," she answered slowly. "The amount of blood made the injury look worse than it really was."

"Oh..." He nearly sagged back onto the couch in relief. The anxiety and worry he had first experienced when Rosliand had appeared, urging along a Lily whose entire right upper sleeve had been dark with blood, had only escalated until the words of the tome seemed almost incomprehensible. "Thank you for assisting Lily," he said, his joy overriding any tinges of discomfort he felt when she looked at him.

"You're thanking me for doing my job?" Rosliand smiled, running her fingers through her short hair. "Do I seem so unreliable?"

"Forgive me, I didn't mean to, er, offend you..." he said, defaulting to his usual response.

Rosliand stared at him for an uncomfortably long period of time, which, he had to admit, was only for a moment with those identity-unraveling eyes. "I wasn't offended," she finally offered. Another rush of relief swept through him; he could not imagine what it would be like to be the person to offend her, but he could tell it would be a rather unpleasant experience. "Should I be?" she asked suddenly, and fear settled deep inside of him.

"No...not at all," he said, his eyes wide. "T-that is...er, I truly did not mean..." He stopped when she raised her hand.

"Mister Canas, it was a joke."

"...Oh," he responded, suddenly feeling very weary; the emotional extremes he had reached within the last hour or so were too much for him.

"All right," Rosliand said, her voice sounding oddly affected to his ears, though her face was blank. "Miss Lily needs her rest, but I know she won't listen to me. Please make sure she doesn't exert herself."

"I will try," he said, though the idea of stopping Lily from doing anything seemed rather impossible.

She nodded. "Good." With catlike footsteps, she made her way to the door before turning and giving him a look that he could never have hoped to decipher. "Miss Lily can be reckless. We've talked about this, do you remember?"

That day, that horrible day that he had pushed to the back of his mind, briefly resurfaced, making him feel somewhat ill. "I do recall it," he answered, somewhat more curt than he would have preferred to sound.

"Since you're an outsider, she doesn't have anything to prove to you. I think she needs that. Please watch over her for me. I'll come back tomorrow." With a small smile, she exited, leaving Canas confused.

_I...understand that I am an outsider to the inhabitants of this village._ Even that thought was unsettling to him, and he frowned as he stared down at the table, where anima literature was stacked into several unsteady piles. Lily had been answering his questions when Rosliand had arrived, alerting them to the presence of a small brigand company. _But...even to Lily?_

It should not have mattered, he knew. Lily was free to feel however she liked. But the thought that she held a dichotomy between him and the rest of the village that had not changed in ten months, in their friendship, made him feel rather...depressed. More than that.

It hurt, somehow.

Or perhaps Rosliand meant something else by it? He was inclined to accept that, if only because she seemed to converse on two separate levels. That, along with her ability to appear and depart at a moment's notice, rendered her as a copy of his mother in his mind, except that he was no longer intimidated by his mother. This led to other disturbing thoughts; Lily had told him of her encounter with his mother last month, and he still was unable to make sense of it. Why would she come all the way here for a simple treatment? Her hands had never seemed to bother her before.

Shaking his head slightly, he decided to go to his room and rest, if only because the thoughts that currently inhabited his mind were making him feel uneasy. When Lily recovered enough to do so, they would continue that fascinating discussion on the theories regarding the long-term effects of magic to the caster's physiology.

While he was walking down the hall that connected all the rooms, a suspicious noise alerted him to the ongoings in Lily's room. It was a dull thud, much like the spine of a hefty tome colliding onto a hardwood floor. Canas paused at his door when a similar noise occurred again. Curiosity overtook his sensibilities to leave well enough alone, just as it always did, and he cautiously approached her door. _What could she be doing in there that would enable such abuse upon innocent tomes?_ he wondered, horrified at the mere thought of it.

The third noise--more of an assault on the ears than anything else--was much louder and caused him to wince in sympathy. Then he heard Lily's voice, normally evocative of a soothing (if not completely in-tune) melody, using words he never would have believed she knew. Just listening to her made him blush; he certainly did not know the meaning of _that_ rather appalling-sounding utterance. Slowly, he knocked on the door. "L-Lily? Are you, er, all right?" This failed to get a response, which worried him. Lily was not the type to remain silent. "Lily, I'm opening the door," he warned.

The first thing he noticed about her room was that it was lined with bookcases. The second thing he noticed was that she was trying to scramble onto her feet, her face a splotchy reddish color indicative of...embarrassment? "Canas!" she blurted out, and he caught her kicking something under her bed with the side of her foot. Before he could inquire about that action, she sat on top of her bed and was now smiling very widely, her exuberance enhancing her delicate features. "What are you doing here? Did you need something?"

"No, I, erm...heard a noise and I wanted to see if you were, erm..."

"Still alive?"

"...Something akin to that, I suppose," he said, taken aback by the fact that she continued to hold her bright smile. "You are, ah, feeling well?"

"I've never felt better," she chirped, sounding more like a young girl with no worries than, well, Lily. Her smile faltered and she tilted her head. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

He shook his head. "You seem so...er, elated, considering your injury."

Amid her laughter she waved a hand, as if to bid his words goodbye. "I'm not happy about _this_, of course," she said, gesturing to her wound. "Just...something good just happened, that's all."

"...If you say so," he responded, curious but unwilling to pry. Glancing around, something like awe fell upon him the longer he stared at all the tomes. The smell of the room was akin to a library's, musty and heavy, the scent of untold generations of knowledge so familiar to him that he almost felt as if he were eighteen again, standing in the main hall of Aquleia's grand library, unable to do more than to stare at the countless number of shelves just bursting with information on subjects he had never even considered before. "There are certainly a great number of resources here," he noted with a great deal of restraint. His mind was too busy cataloguing the entirety of one shelf to truly care what he was saying.

If anything, her smile returned in full force. "This is nearly a millennia's worth of magic-oriented works. I don't think they've been properly organized for a good century or so, but my ancestors have carefully combed through them in order to create a foundation for our dream." She closed her eyes and shrugged; Canas frowned a bit at this gesture, whatever it meant. "Well, we haven't actually set up much of a foundation yet, but we'll keep trying."

"I have nothing but the greatest faith in you," he said, smiling at the undercurrent of determination he always sensed whenever she spoke on this subject. He had heard the Elimineans talk about the power of faith, but just watching Lily made him believe in the power of the human will.

Her eyes opened at his words, and he felt rather odd when she stared at him. Her lips twitched, but there was no sound. Finally, she closed her eyes, a smile trembling along her pale lips. "That's very sweet of you to say, Canas," she said, her tone gentle. He felt warm inside, not only from her positive reaction, but as well as the fact that his words could elicit such a response.

"Here, come over here," she said, beckoning him. When he approached her, she patted the spot next to her. "Rosliand will be merciless at practice tomorrow, so I'm not allowed to do anything stressful today. Not even cooking! So I suppose I'll just stay in and get some rest."

"That is probably for the best," he commented, sitting down at the spot she designated for him. He looked at her just as she smiled up at him and realized with a start that she was a little too close for comfort. Nervous energy caused him to quickly look away; only the sight of tomes lined up in neat rows on the bookshelves could calm him down enough to engage in that time-honored tradition of small talk. "S-so, what do you practice with Rosliand?"

"Well, it's really not so much 'practice' as it is her throwing rocks at me while I try to dodge them." She laughed, causing him to glance at her in surprise; heat coursed through his face when he realized that he could not turn away. There was a need making itself apparent in his mind to remove himself to a more respectful distance, but then her eyes focused on him and he did nothing. "You don't have to look so shocked. It's a very practical exercise for me, considering that magic-users don't have the best constitution and defense," she admonished, but he was so close that he could see the remnants of her laughter sparkling in her eyes.

"Ah, right. I-I see. Of course th-that is a very, er, reasonable idea and...erm..." When her hand fell onto his shoulder, he simply gave up the notion of continuing the conversation and went very still instead. And yet, he could not tear his gaze away from her face, her pretty eyes, her teeth worrying ever so gently into her lower lip. Even as new and quite worrisome feelings knotted inside his stomach, he could not turn away.

"Canas, don't worry about me. Yes, it's punishment in a way, but she knows what she's doing. Probably too well, really." She laughed as she squeezed his shoulder; his mind was woefully blank on a possible action to take to do...something. Anything. "Look at you! You'd think I was incompetent or something!"

His mind caught onto a word and held on with all its might. "H-how...why would you think that?"

"Your expression, of course. You look like you've seen a spirit or something." She paused. "Actually, that'd be a good thing. We should commune again at least once before the festival next month." She removed her hand, but her eyes still captured his attention. "Here, I know something that would relax you." Deftly, she reached underneath the bed with her good arm and pulled out something that appeared to be a bound folder, filled with sheafs of paper.

When she opened it, his world was filled with color.

The first picture that caught his eye was a landscape portrait of the grounds around Ostia castle town. It was a very simple picture, yellow for the brick used for the town walls, green for the grass with the occasional brown line to indicate a tree, and a light blue for the sky. Canas got the impression that it was a clear summer day, bright and lively inside the walls. A depiction of an endless field of violets under the sun crowded another thin paper; the caption on the bottom left-hand corner read 'Reglay 974'. Brown and specks of green filled another piece of paper, and it was only when he noticed the red roof of a general store that he realized that the artist had visualized the scene from the sky.

"See, Kelial painted that one."

Canas raised his head from the last picture to look at Lily, not comprehending her statement. Then he remembered the man from months before, the one who made tea, who informed him that his speech patterns made him sound arrogant, and who engaged in banter with Lily. He would have never suspected that such a man had considerable talent as an artist. "I see," he murmured. "Then, did he create all of these pictures?"

Lily giggled. "Of course not. Some of the people I hold a steady correspondence with know artists, or are themselves artists, and they know how much I love pictures. It's just that Kelial's primary trade is art...he told me that he learned it from his father and dabbled in it while serving his conscription to Bern."

"Primary trade?" he inquired. "Do you mean in this village?"

"Mm-hm. We live so far north that it's too difficult to earn money, so we trade. If you don't have anything to trade, then you're a bit of a nonentity as far as we're concerned, since you're not getting involved with our system." Lily glanced up at him and smiled. "It's pretty fair, I think, but I do gain more out of it since I have a dual occupation."

_No matter what others are saying, I can't help but approve._

Suddenly, Canas had an epiphany. He understood what Rosliand had meant a month before. It had confused him initially, this idea of being the cause of dissension. After all, he did not know the majority of the villagers, only a couple of Lily's friends. He was not involved in the day-to-day operations of Corinth.

Of course they did not care for him. _Of course_ he was an outsider. He was not involved, period.

It disturbed him. He liked people; he greatly enjoyed the company of others. After all, human beings were living depositories of knowledge, and there were so many interesting tidbits to be learned from even children. Instead, he had cloistered himself in Lily's house, studying alongside her and neglecting the fact that there were more people than just Lily in the village. Now that he knew the consequences of his neglect, he was going to have to redeem himself to the villagers; the thought that they resented his stay did not sit easily within his mind.

However, he did not regret his actions of the last ten months. Though, there was a stray thought that was nagging at him.

_Does Lily feel the same? Even as she acts with forthright kindness, does she truly think of me as just an outsider?_

Canas refocused on the pictures when he heard Lily make a small noise. There was a picture of a smiling blonde, her hair flowing down to her waist. Her dress was an elaborate casing of white, pink, and lavender, the latter a perfect match for her eyes. She sat in a chair that seemed to be made from loops and curves of gold wire with a small maroon cushion; he truly hoped that the furniture was a product of the artist's mind, as its construction appeared far too dainty for a dress of that magnitude. "Do you have a preference for a style of picture?" he had to ask when he looked at her mostly bland expression.

"I only like landscape pictures," she answered with a scowl. "I love how free and open they look...the blue skies without clouds, open fields of grass..." She smiled, though to him it looked somewhat sad, and tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. "I would've loved to see them for myself, but these will do."

"Ah..." Canas had the feeling that he was about to say something particularly foolish, but that did not prevent him from speaking his mind. "Why can't you? It would be a long journey, but..." The words trickled to a stop as he noticed the rather interesting change in her expression. He was filled with the same sort of dismay he felt whenever he was walking from one village to another while storm clouds began to gather amid low rumblings of thunder.

"I can't," she said, turning her head away from him. "If I leave, who will make medicine? Who will protect them from the next bandit raid? It's easy for you to say since you can do whatever you like, but I..." Her shoulders seemed to shift in a shrug. "I'm not you."

_Duty seems to be a burden_, Canas thought as he watched Lily, _no matter how proud she usually is about it._ Not knowing what to do, he mimicked her earlier action and hesitantly placed a hand on her shoulder, careful not to let his palm brush against the wrapping high on her arm. "Forgive me, I, ah...had a momentarily lapse of thought."

She turned to face him, an eyebrow arched. "You know, for a scholar, you don't think things through very often."

"Ah...well..."

"Oh, I forgive you, don't look at me like that." She smiled as she patted his hand. "When you look so lost, I don't know what to do."

"I see..." A little uncomfortable with all the physical contact, he shifted and accidentally tipped over the folder from his lap. The pictures went flying over the floor. "Oh!" he cried out in surprise, before frowning at what was now before him.

Attached to the inside cover of the folder was another picture, this one of two people--two girls, at that. One was unmistakably Lily as a child; the little girl had chin-length light green hair and eyes, the latter too large and solemn for a girl who did not even appear to be ten. The other girl was a head taller, with long, wavy hair as green as the bristle-like summer grass distinctive of Lycia; her eyes were a deep, dark blue. She was smiling widely, her hands on child-Lily's shoulders; Lily was not. And if Lily now was a very lovely woman, the girl who held onto her shoulders in the picture was nothing short of beautiful, even at such a young age.

"This is your elder sister," he realized aloud, tapping the corner of the picture before remembering her name. "Iris, correct?"

"Yes. She was thirteen there when Vanay painted that. I was eight."

Confused at Lily's sudden reticence, Canas tried to smile. "Do you have any other pictures of her?"

"Why would I?" Lily sounded nearly hostile now. "She left when she turned fourteen."

"Oh, er, I see." Knowing a potentially ugly situation when he saw one, he could not help but try to lighten the atmosphere, regardless of her rapidly degenerating mood. "Elder siblings are interesting to have, aren't they?" he asked in a light tone.

The look on Lily's face was unlike any he had ever seen on her before. Her eyes, normally so empathetic and capable of revealing quite a lot of emotion, were flat. In turn, her features seemed very drawn, as if the essence of life was being drawn from her. "Canas, this isn't--I'm sorry, but can you please leave?"

He hesitated, the realization that Lily was more than simply irritated or moody dawning on him. "Er, certainly." He glanced at the floor. "But I should assist you with--"

"Just leave it alone." She closed her eyes, tense lines appearing on her forehead. "Please."

Canas was unsure if it was simply her plea or the sudden hollow quality her expression had undertaken, but he could not help but acquiesce. Perhaps Rosliand was right. Perhaps Lily did view him as an outsider. Or maybe this was just a subject that Lily did not appreciate being broached. Whatever it was, it bothered him. It bothered him immensely as he stood just outside of her door, hoping to hear the rustling of paper, something to indicate that she was fine.

He did not leave for a long time.

-to be continued...-

Hah...it's been a really bad couple of weeks. I've been sick, stressed, and annoyed to the point of thinking that the concept of justifiable homicide might not be such a bad thing to apply in a few areas of my life. That being said, I am so sorry this chapter is late. Let me show you how sorry I am--chapter 11 will be out next Wednesday, March the 15th. I'm halfway done with it, so I'm feeling confident. After that, we will resume our biweekly schedule.

Thanks to anonymous reviewers Denaia, ceecee, and TheWatcherandReader. Once again, as much as I enjoy reviews, please don't force yourself.


	11. Every Reason in the World

Shadows Under the Oak Tree

(C) Intelligent Systems and Nintendo

-0-

11. Festival of the Ice Dragon, part 1: Every Reason in the World  
(_I do not understand where my emotions are taking me, but the journey is well worth it._)

_If you don't mind me asking, ah...where are we going?_

_Would you laugh if I said 'To paradise'?_

_...No, not at all._

_Good. That's where we're going.  
_

-0-

In the two days leading up to Ice Dragon's Festival, Canas did not see Lily. Certainly, he had seen evidence that she still existed within the confines of the house; she certainly made enough noise while she tidied up the place, which, as he understood it, was a ritual to properly 'invite' Ilia's mythic Ice Dragon to bless the house. He had tried to offer assistance once, in the beginning, but had shied away when he heard her chanting an incantation in the privy. It was obvious from that point on that any cleaning methods he knew were probably too pedestrian for her, and so he tried to study while random objects fell in the other rooms. He could still--unfortunately--remember her say very clearly from her workshop as he happened to pass by, "Is that alive?" and immediately vowed never to enter that room.

But the light scent of irial now scented the area around the privy door, and so he knew that, somehow, she was doing just fine.

On the third day, he was too occupied in translating the text before him to wonder what novel idea she was implementing now as she cleaned. It was written during the early 7th century after The Scouring, which marked it as a fairly recent text. The language it was written in, the common tongue of Elibe, had not changed too much throughout the centuries. Certainly any scholar, even one in the prime of youth as himself, could decipher it with ease. However, the setback that caused the meaning of the text to elude him was a fairly mundane one; the author could not produce legible handwriting to save his life--which, as the story Canas had heard went, was true on all accounts--or the eyes of the readers.

"No, no, that isn't right... 'wt apr fr study'...my, a word I recognize, but what are these other..." Canas mumbled under his breath as he read, hunched over the tome and with his full attention aimed at the symbols that masqueraded as words.

"You know, you'll grow a hump on your back if you keep that up."

He looked up, a smile on his lips before he could even think of the action. "Lily, it's a pleasure to see you," he said, something inside of him delighting at the sight of her smile. Then, he realized she had said something. "Pardon me, but what did you mean by that?"

Shaking her head, there was a small grin on her face as she reached out and plucked the tome from his hands. "Nothing. What are you reading--oh, I have better books than this."

"Because the text is unreadable?" Canas had to ask. Lily shook her head.

"'What is appropriate for study is a male, between the age of eighteen to thirty, who has been immersed in the lessons of anima practice. This is because, while perhaps more skilled in the terms of raw power, female mages tend to have bouts of irrationality, and thus cannot be expected to complete even the initial testing...'" Sighing, she held out the tome for him to take. "It's a luxury to discriminate."

Canas merely nodded, setting the tome on the table. _Perhaps the nature of the text is an indication of the worth of the words_, he thought, a vague sense of disappointment filling him. As much as he tried to condone the biases inherent in the schools of magical thought, it was particularly depressing to find it in nationally acclaimed tomes when the information therein was potentially harmful. The picture of an epidemic of half-truths and outright lies, carried by tomes in the same way as a deadly disease was brought into Elibe by boat in the 4th century, infecting minds as easily as that blight had infected bodies, was vivid enough that he could not suppress a shudder.

"Are you all right?" Lily asked, concern in her expression as she leaned towards him. He nodded, somewhat flustered at her close proximity. "Oh, well, that's good. Then...would you mind doing a favor for me?"

The fact that she was actually letting him do something for her--that she had actually inquired as to his interest in doing something for her--made him look at her full-face. "W-what can I do for you?" he managed out.

"I need you to deliver my festival tea to Rosliand." From a hidden pocket of her dress, she produced a small, wrapped package. "I'd do it myself, but I need to talk to a friend of mine...she's going through a hard time right now," she said, her tone apologetic.

"No, no, it's perfectly fine with me," he tried to assure her. It was such a small step towards absolving his guilt towards not being able to compensate for everything she had done for him, but even the Encyclopedia of All Affairs that Concern the Human Race had started with a single word. " 'Festival tea'?" he had to ask.

"Yes, the Ice Dragon Festival." He blinked, surprised at the lengths Lily was going to celebrate such an infamous creature as a dragon, even though most Ilians considered it a favorable part of national history. His mother, however, had always been personally disgusted by the idea. "You didn't remember, did you?"

Lily's gaze was, if not out-and-out frightening, enough to make him squirm in his seat. "Forgive me, it was not...quite something honored by my family."

"You're a bad Ilian," she stated, handing him the package. He took it, then stared uneasily at her. Crossing her arms, she smiled, then gestured by jerking her head towards the door. "Rosliand lives up the mountain, so you'd better go if you want to get back in time for dinner."

"Er...I've only just had my morning tea..."

She grinned. "Yes, I know. I've also seen you climb the mountain, so I know how much time to allot." At that, he could not help but to give her his version of a long-suffering look, used regularly in libraries at closing time and to merchants who just would not lower their prices. Lily seemed to be unfazed, and she patted his arm. "Today's special, Canas. In other countries, they're in the middle of collecting their harvest, right? It's the same for us, and also..." She leaned in, her lips brushing against his ear. Canas forgot how to breathe as she whispered, "Today's a special day for you too, isn't it? I'll make sure you like it."

It was after he left the house that he realized that today marked the arrival of his birth affinity.

-0-

_Hah...it's so...hah...dark..._

_Are you scared?_

_No...hah..._

_Good. After all, I'm a guardian. I'll protect you._

-0-

"I must admit, this is a surprise," Rosliand said as she boiled water at the hearth. "I had the impression that you were afraid of me."

"No, that's not quite true..." Canas shifted uneasily in his seat. The corner of the couch was digging painfully underneath his thighs, even with the furs Rosliand had thrown over it before she would let him enter. "I just haven't gotten used to your...manner of speech."

"Do you intend to?"

He nodded in earnest. "Yes. Forgive my, er, apprehension regarding earlier situations, I am just...ah, unused to...erm..." he trailed off when he realized that he could not readily communicate which of Rosliand's quirks that made him so nervous. At least, not without the possibility of insulting her and doing irreparable harm to their friendship before it had even started.

"Me. You are unused to me. Correct?" she asked, glancing over her shoulder to stare at him. When he nodded, a smile as thin as a shaving blade's edge appeared on her face. "That's too bad. I was hoping we could be friends."

"Y-you were?" A single nod was his answer. "Oh, I see," he started, before realizing that his answer was a poor one. The idea that someone else from the village--well, the mountain behind the village--wanted to begin a friendship with him was quite wonderful. "I would be honored," he said, very happy now. First there was Lily entrusting him with a favor, as well as remembering his birth affinity, and now he was being offered friendship with an interesting individual like Rosliand. The possibility that his day could become any better was improbable.

"That makes me happy," Rosliand said as she stood up with the kettle in hand. She placed it onto the table and reached up to the tie of her cloak. "Let's be good friends," she continued as she began to remove her cloak.

Canas stared at her for a moment, then slowly lowered his head as his face began to grow hot. "Miss Rosliand, I, ah, think you misunderstand me..."

"Oh? You misunderstand me, Mister Canas." The finality in her voice caused him to look up in concern, and he exhaled in relief when he found that she was still fully clothed; though she did not dress to Lily's standard of modesty, Rosliand's outfit appeared to be a looser style of the pegasus knight uniform, complete with thigh-length stocking boots and a leather breastplate held in place by a shoulder brace. She smiled at him, her eyes hard. "I don't wish to become that good of a friend to you."

"I...forgive me, I-I don't even know why I came to that conclusion..." It was a mystery to him. It was like diagnosing the magical properties of the sun--he had no idea where to start.

Clucking her tongue, she began to prepare their tea. "Well, no one's innocent in this world. Even someone like you has a demon inside them."

The quickest flash of memory, of feeling, ice along his skin, mosquito pricks along his palms, emptiness, being engulfed by a wave of soul-rending chilliness overtook him and in that moment his breath caught in his throat and it was that moment all over again.

That moment, when he ceased to exist.

A sharp crack shattered the memory, and pain bloomed from the left side of his face. With wide eyes, he stared at his blurry-looking assailant, who was still leaning over the table as she waved her outstretched hand a few times. "Wh-wh-what was that--"

"I've had to do that to new recruits, usually the ones who did not choose to become such," Rosliand explained in a matter-of-fact tone, resuming her earlier job as if nothing had happened at all. His mind still reeling from the last few moments, Canas replaced his monocle, which had become dislodged, and tried to regulate his breathing. "I said something wrong," she stated as she pushed his cup towards him.

He paused from reaching for the tea, his eyes flickering up to her face, then down into the cup. "Forgive me, I am not quite sure what, er, triggered that reaction..."

Taking a sip of tea, Rosliand nodded. "I understand. In times like these, I am to change the subject. Hm..." Canas took the opportunity to partake in his tea--which, as was the case for all of Lily's concoctions, quite superb--while waiting for his new friend to speak. "I hate horses."

He blinked. "Oh, I see." He took another look at her outfit, taking note of all its similarities to all the pegasus knight uniforms he had seen during his journey around Elibe, and then had to point out, "By your uniform, you seem to have been a pegasus knight..."

"No, I was a scout when I was working directly for the Union. I was a suitable assassin when the situation called for it. However, I hate horses." After downing her cup, she ran a hand through her hair. "They stink, take up space and consume supplies like young children."

"But..." he said, surprised at the undercurrent of hostility in her voice, "pegasi are said to be exemplary creatures, according to the Record of Splendid Creatures."

She rolled her eyes at this. "Pegasi are horses that molt."

"...Ah. I see."

Two cups of tea for both later, Rosliand looked up at him and said, "...Perhaps you should think of something to talk about."

A newly refilled cup of tea paused on its way to his lips. In actuality, there were subjects that he would not have minded talking to her about, as she happened to possess a cutting viewpoint that cleaved into the heart of the matter with ease. The most prominent subject was that of integration into the village. Closely connected to that was Lily, his friend. Lily, who, after months of study, months of getting to know her, he had to admit that he was...somewhat enamored with.

Perhaps.

_Ah...not really 'perhaps'_, he argued with himself. _I do--I am interested in her beyond the scope of mere friendship. And yet...what am I supposed to do with that knowledge? For that matter, what would Rosliand advise to me regarding her? I have already been informed that I am...an outsider to Lily, and...perhaps she was right, if last month was any indication._

_Lily, Iris, and an unnamed third element. If I learn about it, then I'll know what to avoid. I won't be able to carelessly hurt her...  
_  
"About this village..." he began, pausing to take a sip of tea. "How would an outsider like myself become integrated into its society?"

"...Hn," she mumbled into her cup. "You should learn to talk normally, for one. Talking like that will only heighten the difference between you and the rest of us. Many of us can't even read."

Canas bolted upright. "What? How terrible! Illiteracy is the major component that separates the nobility from the commoners--"

"In Ilia, there is no nobility. We are too busy trying to survive to worry about Master Vaserys' The Dragon Inside Us."

"...Pardon me," he said, unable to hide the surprise in his voice. "That is a rare tome. How do you know about it?"

After a moment, Rosliand leaned back, her eyes unfocused underneath locks of blue hair. "I like to read," she said with a shrug. "I read words backwards, but I like it." Just as he was about to open his mouth to suggest a few titles she would undoubtedly enjoy, she said, "Anyway, I have a few ideas about that. For now, be visible, be friendly, and be willing to help others."

_Oh_, he thought, _that sounds relatively uncomplicated_. He then remembered an oddity from months past, a friend of Lily's who did not seem to be an Ilian, though he was never able to pinpoint why, exactly. "Lily's friend, Kelial...he is not Ilian, correct?" he asked.

Rosliand nodded. "He is a child of Hartmut. He arrived four years ago. But, what works for him won't for you." She paused, staring at him so intently that he had to suppress the desire to squirm away from her gaze. "You aren't that type, and Lily won't like it."

"Oh, I see." Somehow, he did not think he wanted to know. Then, he realized he had the perfect opening to discuss Lily and discover what it was that had bothered her so. "May I share something in confidence?"

"What does that mean?"

"Oh, er...can I talk to you about something?"

"Much better," she said, idly setting down her teacup. "What is it?"

"There was a situation, a little less than a month ago, in which Lily became most distraught, though...I am not sure what caused it." Glancing at Rosliand, he opted to focus his attention to the corner of the table instead. "We were...discussing Iris, Lily's sister."

"I know who Iris is. She was before my arrival here. Lily does not care to talk about her."

Canas nodded. "That particular conversation was triggered by a picture. Before, the conversation was about freedom she felt from her pic--"

"You're an idiot," Rosliand stated, her tone flat. His eyes widened in bewilderment. Had she ascertained the cause of Lily's reaction so soon?

"Pardon?"

"I will tell you this, so you know never to talk about it again." She cleared her throat, her expression impassive. "Iris was Master Harnan and Lady Viola's first child, with Lily a surprise arrival five years later. By that time, Iris was well on her way to being taught to take her role as guardian of Corinth."

His eyes widened. "But--excuse me--that is Lily's role..."

"Mm. Lily's dream was to become a pegasus knight, but Iris ran away at fourteen. Lily, on the cusp of her dream, was forced to stay here and take over her sister's duty. In the end, Iris took Lily's freedom and made it her own."

"But..." he started, unsettled by Rosliand's cool retelling of what sounded like an emotional morass, "Lily has so much pride in her duty..."

"One can be proud of a job well done. Do you think those of the Union enjoy their work?"

"Ah...I see. Then, did Lily's parents force her into becoming Iris' replacement?"

"No. Lily explained it as a matter of obligation. Lady Viola, in particular, strove to make Lily attempt her dream." Rosliand sighed. "But Lily is stubborn, and Lily is here. And even if Iris has been dead for years, Lily cannot forget. She will never forget. Don't make it worse for her."

"I...I understand," Canas said, properly chastened. Truly he did, to some extent. He wished his mother had asked him if he wanted to take up the burden of continuing the family legacy, though. In that perspective, he thought it was nice that Lily had been given a choice.

If he had been given a choice, he could not say that his answer would have been beneficial to his mother's agenda.

-0-

_Hah...how much...hah...more?_

_...You sound like you're going to die._

_Forgive...hah...me..._

_Don't worry, it's just a little farther. If I have to, I'll carry you the rest of the way.  
_

-0-

He could not help it. At least, that sounded plausible in his own mind.

_None of the other villagers know the truth other than the woman who helped Iris leave. Master Harnan, Lady Viola, Miss Lily...they kept Iris' image as one of a good daughter and sister. However Lily feels, she will never betray what her parents wanted to see.  
_  
As they ate, he watched Lily and recalled the rest of the conversation he had held with Rosliand. The things his new friend revealed about Lily changed what he thought of her, this woman who earlier had laughed while she brought out the meal and congratulated him on beginning his twenty-fourth cycle of life. "Now we're the same age again!" she had cheered. Even now she looked so happy, as if she had everything she had ever wanted.

But he remembered how she looked in a facsimile of the pegasus knight uniform, which she had said her mother made for her, and he wondered if her smiles were brittle.

_She seems happy_, he concluded to himself. And yet, he could not help but feel a strong sense of sympathy for her, even though he knew she never would have asked for it. She was such a proud woman, and he admired the strength of character she possessed to willingly discard her dreams to take up familial obligations, even when given a choice.

_Especially_ because she was given a choice, he felt. Especially that.

"What's wrong?"

His gaze refocused to meet her eyes, and his face tingled with heat once he realized that he had been staring at her the entire time. "Er...ah, i-it's nothing important!" he finally managed to say, flustered beyond any prior time he could recall.

She raised an eyebrow in what was obviously disbelief, which made him nervous. "If you say so," she muttered before returning to her meal.

Suppressing his sigh of relief, he took another bite of the food Lily had prepared, marveling at the taste. For dinner she had made several different entrees, as she admitted that she was unsure what his favorite food was. Since he lacked that knowledge himself--though 'edible' was a good start--he was simply appreciative that she had spent time on this when there were so many other things she always needed to do.

_I occupy space in her house, eat her food, drink her teas, read her tomes...and what have I done in return?_ Their relationship was a symbiotic one--truthfully, it was parasitic, but the thought depressed him--but he provided so little for her. And yet, she gave so much of herself, as a teacher, as a provider, as a friend...and he had yet to discern why, other than their friendship.

He enjoyed their friendship. He knew that he wanted to see it continue, perhaps even...expand?

_What am I thinking?_ he asked himself, stunned by the brazenness of his thoughts. _What I'm considering...why?_

Because she had a house full of tomes. Because she was the last descendant of a family steeped in magic. Because she was intelligent.

"Canas, I didn't realize you were so hungry!" Lily exclaimed, snapping him out of his thoughts. Looking at his plate, he had apparently been continuing to eat while deep in thought, which was a survival trait all scholars had to acquire on pain of starvation. "I can make more, if you like."

"No, it's enough," he said, feeling guilty at the idea of taking more from her than he already had. "The meal was excellent, as usual."

"Oh, well..." She was smiling widely while looking away from him, and he adjusted his monocle with fumbling fingers when he realized how...cute she appeared. Her eyes slid to look into his and he tugged a bit too hard on the cord attached to the monocle, effectively dislodging it. "Thank you. It's so nice to hear that," she said, the second sentence punctuated by a giggle as the monocle slipped from his hands again.

After a bit of a struggle, Canas managed to set the monocle right. "Oh, good," he said, smiling. Then, he watched with some concern as she cleared the table, then hurried to the door, where their thickest cloaks were hung in preparation of the storms. "Lily?" he asked; did she have something else planned?

With an ease that revealed just how comfortable Lily was in her own body, she spun around, tossed his cloak in his general direction, and twirled her own cloak over her shoulders in a fluid series of movements. "Hurry up, there's still more," she informed him.

"What do you mean?" he inquired, standing up to put on his cloak. In a few quick strides, she was standing before him, her hand outstretched.

"Come with me," she said, and before he knew it, he was gripping her hand as they ran into the night like children without a care in the world.

-0-

_Oh, this is..._

_It's beautiful, isn't it?  
_

-0-

He looked down at her, the shadows obscuring much of her face. Inside, his lungs were screaming for air while his mind was screeching about running halfway up the mountain, but his eyes had no complaint. "Yes, it is beautiful," he answered, returning his gaze to the sight before him.

Beyond the black thatch of oaks were dozens of tiny lights, reminding Canas of a most interesting phenomena specific to Thria; countless floating lights hovering above the marshlands, a community of fireflies gathering for the night. Up here, it seemed as though there were many more houses than he had initially thought, a town in its own right more than a mere hamlet. And all those houses had occupants, adults and children both, people who lived most of their lives entrenched in their homes, living and learning while the blizzards raged outside. Somehow, he would have to introduce himself to these people, and show them that he was willing to cooperate with them, to live beside them in harmony.

Here, so high above them, it seemed to be a daunting task. To want to undertake it meant something to him.

_I think...I believe this village could be my home. At least, I would like to try.  
_  
He had been more comfortable in the Etrurian abbey, except for that intolerable act of discrimination, but even there he knew he would eventually move on. In Lycia, he had traveled from one canton to another, but none of the places he had laid his head--whether it was at an inn, boardinghouse, or under a tree along the roadside--felt right to him. He was, essentially, little more than another traveler, seeking something so much greater than he was. Yet in Corinth, in a tiny village not even on any map, he felt...happy.

Shuffling sounds beside him alerted him to the fact that Lily was sitting down, and he hastened to follow her. "Maybe it's strange that I called this place my 'paradise', but I really like it," she said, her voice soft. "Up here, I can pretend that I can fly. My parents took me up here when I was a child, and they told me that I should get used to the height, because once I became a pegasus knight recruit I would fly all the time. But...that didn't work out as I wanted it to."

Feeling guilty that he had pried into her past and now knew exactly what she was referring to, Canas stared down at his lap. "Ah...do you regret it?"

"I...I'm not sure. I still want to know what it's like to feel the wind through my hair as I fly through the skies, but maybe that's just my affinity talking." She laughed, a light sound that was swallowed up by a gust of wind. "Ah, that's cold! But, anyway, as much as I want to fly, I think it's better to have a foundation. Corinth is that for me, the place where I'll always belong. But, um..." Canas could barely see her movements, but it appeared that she was reaching for something in her cloak's inner pockets. She held it out to him, a shadow of a smile on her face. "Here. Congratulations for somehow managing to survive this long with no common sense."

As soon as he touched the object, he knew it was a tome. It was slender but reassuring regardless of its lack of weight, its binding crafted by something that felt like dried leather. By that, he could tell that it was at least several centuries old, as hardcover binding was created during the late 7th century and instituted by all the presses by the middle of the 800's. "Lily..." he started, unsure of what to say. Even with the rows of shelves lined with tomes in her room, this one felt incredibly rare.

"Do you need a light?" Before he could say anything, a small spark of fire appeared between her thumb and forefinger. Now, he could see her smile, her eyes crinkling as she did so. "Read the title," she urged him.

" 'Dark World: A Mage Cloaked By Darkness.'" After a moment, Canas turned to her, intrigued. "It sounds interesting."

"It is," she said, extinguishing the flame in the snow beside her with the barest hiss. "It's the journal of an Etrurian mage in the 4th century who spent twenty years living within the dark magic users' community. I think it's one of the few copies in existence."

Suddenly, the tome seemed to weigh more than it had a few moments ago. "Lily, this is...are you sure? It's...ah, I can't--"

"If you don't take it, you'll be insulting me," she interrupting, and he could feel her gaze upon him, even if he could not see the color of her eyes. "Unless that's what you want?"

"...No, not at all. Of course not. Lily..." He closed his eyes, tucking his newest acquisition within his cloak. When he continued, he could not hide the tremor in his voice. "This means...more than I can put in words..."

She patted his hand, letting it rest there. "I know that, as a traveling scholar, you'll probably be leaving sooner or later. I don't know if you have any good memories of my home, but...if you do, please remember them whenever you open that book."

"And if I don't leave?" he asked before he realized what he was saying. "Ah! That was--"

"Well, you're welcome to stay as long as you like," she said, squeezing his hand. An unidentifiable pulse of emotion rippled through him, and it was to his immense surprise that he liked the feeling. "You probably don't believe this, but I really enjoy your company. I...that house shouldn't only have one person in it."

"I...see," he breathed. "But--"

"If the next thing you're going to say is a variation of 'I don't have anything to pay you with', I'm taking the book back."

At this, Canas began to chuckle. "I see. Forgive me." Another chilly breeze swept through, and he held her hand because it was warm. Or maybe because she was a warm, good person. Or maybe because she was pretty, or maybe because she was kind and attentive. Whatever it was, it felt right to be close to her because, bit by bit, he was understanding her. And maybe the more he learned about her, the more comfortable he would feel...like this.

He decided in that moment that, if she allowed, he would stay with her. As a scholar, as a man, he wanted to stay with her.

-to be continued...-

Isn't this...sappy? Argh. At least we're back on schedule, so the next chapter will come out 3/29.

Random note: In the Canas/Vaida B support, Canas mentions a book title to Vaida that starts with 'Dark' before Vaida snatches it up and feeds it to Umbriel. Incidentally, it's the only time that Canas gets angry. Now you know why.

Thanks for reading. My updating has been a little unreliable, so I'm very happy that this story still has readers and reviewers!


	12. Equal Trade

Shadows Under the Oak Tree

(C) Intelligent Systems and Nintendo

-0-

12. Festival of the Ice Dragon, part 2: Equal Trade  
(_This is the biggest decision of my life, but I don't know what the answer is._)

Under the oak trees that stood between Corinth and Mount Athene, the shadows of the vivid crimson leaves littered the snow. It was here, in the second week of the Ice Dragon's festival, that Lily heard the absolute last thing she had ever imagined hearing in her lifetime.

"I want to marry you."

Lily liked declarative statements. They conveyed strength and determination, two things she considered very important. It was the difference between 'you're an idiot' and 'Well, in my opinion, you could be considered to be somewhat lacking in wit, or indeed, any vestiges of intelligence', the difference between someone who stood up in the crowd and someone who was lost in it. So, if nothing else, Lily could appreciate the intention behind those six syllables, no matter how long the speaker took in hemming and hawing and stuttering before the fact.

But since this was Canas saying it, Lily was beyond stunned at the moment.

She stared at him. Then, she blinked. When that action failed to give her an answer, she opened her mouth, unfortunately without thinking of something to say. "Um..."

"Er, well, I know this seems a little sudden, but..." Canas stopped, giving her a look of concern. "Lily, are you...all right?"

"What?" She was proud of herself for coming up with a question. Questions were good. They led to answers, preferably ones that would help her with what was going on at the moment.

"Oh. Well, are you all right? You seem...quiet."

She shook her head. "Not that. The...the other thing. Before." She lowered her voice, as if not to disturb the spirits that were swirling around them, tittering away. "What?"

If Canas was surprised, she certainly couldn't see it in his face. "Yes, well...I've just stated that my intention to...erm, perhaps I went about this wrong. W-would you would like to..." Red colored his pale cheeks admirably as he gave her a look she was used to seeing from pleading children. "Ah...would you like to marry me?"

So, her ears were right. 'What' would no longer serve her well. "Why?"

"Erm..." He began to pat himself down, as if he were looking for something. "I had compiled a list of reasons...hm..."

The fact that he had gone through the trouble of writing down reasons for...what he had asked shattered the numbness that had enclosed her mind, leaving her free to express more than the basic questions. She wasn't sure if this was a good thing, as now her head was filled with more questions and emotions than she was ready to deal with now, if ever at all. For now she decided to keep things simple, which she promptly carried out by grasping his hands as he continued to search his pockets.

"Canas, you made a list?" she asked as she stared into his eyes.

"...Yes. Yes, I did. But I seem to have misplaced it. Shall I, er, retrieve it?"

"Why?" she demanded. When he opened his mouth to respond, she hastened to add, "Why did you make a list?"

"Oh! Well, I...ah, well, you see, I know that you're a woman who thrives on common sense and logic. I knew that, if I had a chance to convince you, I needed to present reasons why such an action would be, ah, acceptable to you." Smiling, he lowered his gaze from her face to their joined hands. "I must say, you, er, have quite a grip as well."

She dropped his hands, crossing her arms instead. The whole situation was beyond her comprehension. When had he had the time to plan this? Between the studying and the lessons and the meals of the last year or so, when had this mad idea appeared in his mind? Why hadn't she noticed this? She couldn't understand it. There was this change going on in her guest, and she thought that everything was the same. She was sure nothing fundamental like that had shifted inside her.

"All right," she said, shaking her head in bewilderment. She had thought it was so odd that a scholar could be so confused all the time, but now she could see that it was probably because of that feeling that he became a scholar in the first place. She didn't like the feeling any more than he probably did. "You--you have reasons, right? Let's hear them."

"Er..." he started, looking more than a little panicked, "wouldn't you rather prefer to see the list, or--"

"No." Her gaze flickered from his shadow-speckled face to the vibrant leaves, then back again. "I want to hear this from you."

The panic in his expression wilted, leaving only the image of a man who seemed to have run out of options. Before she could take back her words and allow him to take the easier path, a surge of determination seemed to run through him, bringing life into his eyes. "Well, of course, I have to acknowledge that I am extremely impressed by the collection of resources available to your family, as well as your own formidable knowledge. I..." He smiled, or tried to, she wasn't sure which it was because it came out like a grimace. "Even if you already are allowing me access to them, I still feel somewhat like an...an intruder, especially with your duties to the village. And, ah, I like living here. There's a sort of peace here that is certainly...beneficial to my studies."

_Would he marry a librarian to gain a library?_ Lily asked herself, befuddled by his logic. "All right, and what will you give me in return that's of equal value?" she asked. It was a mercenary way to respond, but she comforted herself by remembering that she was an Ilian, after all.

"Er...well, I..."

After a long moment, Lily shook her head and looked down, trying to spare herself from the expression of hopelessness that was now marring his face. "I've already told you that I'm happy having you stay as long as you want. I meant that. Marrying someone for just a few books is just--just silly, don't you think?"

Silence, as deep and dark as whatever lurked inside the dark tomes, fell upon them as easily as the shadows from the oaks. It was all Lily could do to not look up, to ask him the meaning of it all. She could drag an answer out of him, she would do it, but she knew just as well as the formula for a basic sleeping concoction that she would not like whatever she would find. Maybe he thought he was doing her a favor, which was insulting and bad. Maybe he was telling her the truth, which was sad and worse.

"Yes, I agree."

She glanced up at him, her arms still tightly wound against her chest. "Oh?"

"It is a reason, certainly an important one to me. However, I...enjoy your presence more than I can recall ever enjoying anyone else's. I find you to be quite an admirable woman and..." He hunched his shoulders, giving her the most pitifully earnest look she had ever seen on anyone. She took a step forward without realizing it, unable to look away.

They stared at each other for what felt to her like a long time before she realized that he was probably scared into silence. Reaching out, she took his hands in hers, offering reassurance when she couldn't even begin to sort out her own emotions. "And what, Canas?" she asked, using the same voice she used to talk to the sick, a soft, gentle tone.

His expression didn't change, but she could feel his fingers twitch. He looked down, then back at her face. "I have feelings for you that are...beyond the normal scope of friendship," he confessed, a shy smile on his lips. "Per-perhaps I am being too forward in admitting such a thing...a-and, if that's so, please forgive me for that! It is just..." He looked away, the smile still on his face. Lily would've liked to turn away, but it was all she could do to just breathe. "Even though I believed that my burgeoning feelings were ones I should not have held, all things considered, they..." Without warning, he looked at her again, and in his eyes there was the unmistakable light of hope. His fingers curled over her hands, and inside her, it felt as though her heart skipped a beat.

"They don't seem like bad feelings to have."

Lily closed her eyes, hating herself for the truth she had to reveal. "...Canas, I don't feel the same way."

"Ah...I see," he said, and when she looked up at him he was still smiling. However, Lily could feel the slackness in his hands, as if all the hope in his eyes had been his strength. "Well, I suppose it was presumptuous of me to believe that my feelings could be mutually--"

"Don't say that!" she yelled, her sudden anger fueled by an odd sense of...hurt by his words. He stared at her, eyes wide with surprise. "I like you! I think you're brilliant and I want to help you reach your dream! But, but who are you to suddenly put all this on me and expect me to...to what? Say yes? How can I? You--you had however long to make a list of reasons, but I didn't even know you felt this way until right now. How can we have mutual feelings when we've never talked about this before?"

There was a tinge of red along his cheeks before he ducked his head down. "Lily...could you, ah, loosen your grip?"

She let go of his hands, wrapping her arms around her body. Mental fatigue weighed upon her; the entire situation was giving her a headache. "Sorry. Anyway, I'm not saying no or yes or anything other than 'I need time'. Marriage is incredibly important to me. I'll need time to consider if this is the right thing for me. We'll have to talk about this more."

Hope was dawning in his eyes again. "So...you will consider it?"

"Yes." A random thought blinked into her mind between breaths, and she acted on it, reaching out to touch his forearm. "Um," she started, staring up into his eyes, "I want you to know that, no matter what my answer is, you're still a dear friend to me. That won't change." She smiled, trying to prompt him into doing the same. "Right?"

"Of course," he answered, returning her smile. "Lily, you're always so considerate. Thank you."

_Not really_, she thought. _I just don't want to feel too guilty if I have to say no._

-0-

_So...what do you think about children?_

_Oh! They're our hope for the future, certainly. It is almost magic, how each generation builds upon the knowledge learned by the last..._

_I'm glad you're so enthusiastic. What do you think about us having children?_

_Er...ah...well...that is, erm, inevitable, I suppose..._

_Mm, it is a little intimidating. Wait...are you blushing?_

-0-

Pausing at the door, Lily took a deep breath and squared her shoulders. Once she did this, there would no turning back. Knocking on the door would be as good as admitting that she really was taking the proposal seriously.

She made a promise. Now, it was time to follow through.

After her first set of knocks the door opened, revealing Mynthia, a petite young woman with long black hair and large glacier-blue eyes. "Oh, Lady Lily," Mynthia said, hiding a smile behind one hand. "It's nice to see you. Are you here to see Grandmother?"

"Mm-hm," Lily answered. She held out a small package. "This is in gratitude for having us for dinner last night."

"Oh, is it tea? Grandmother will be pleased." Taking the package with gracefully-curved hands, Mynthia stepped aside. "We were knitting for the winter, but I'm afraid we won't be done by the first storm."

Lily walked inside, taking in the scents of slow-cooking meats and flat breads, not embarrassed as her stomach growled in appreciation. Down the narrow hallway led to a large sitting room, filled with bright rugs, low oaken couches, and lower carved tables. Stew simmered in the cauldron at the hearth, which made her smile; there was always something cooking in Grandma Yunice's home. In the couch nearest to the hearth was Grandma Yunice herself, who only glanced up after she laid down her knitting needles. "Lily, child, come here," she called, her arms outstretched. Lily accepted the hug with a smile that could never convey the swell of warmth she felt towards the undisputed head of Corinth by way of age and experience in all matters pertaining to the Union. "Are you all right?" Grandma Yunice asked once she pulled away and looked at Lily's face.

"I'm well enough, Grandma. I just wanted to talk to you." Lily was too aware of Mynthia's presence; the girl was discreet, but Lily had found it hard enough to make herself talk about her current situation without an audience. "It's very private," she murmured.

"Private? Nothing is sacred here," Grandma Yunice whispered, a smile on her lips. She looked past Lily's shoulder, raising her voice as she said, "Mynthia, sweet, find your brother and do keep him out of trouble, if you can?"

"Yes, Grandmother."

When the sound of the front door closing made itself heard, Grandma Yunice sighed. "Such a lovely girl, wouldn't you agree? If only her twin were just a pinch more like her..."

"Rycen is just stubborn," Lily said, sitting down beside Grandma Yunice. "Once he joins the mercenary knights, he'll have to learn to calm down."

"Always the same, always thinking with the mind. Well now, what's your secret today, Lily?" Grandma Yunice laughed as Lily squirmed in her seat. "Oh, how I remember little Lily, always with a tidbit of information! 'Today Master Tyrndell was given a silver knife to make blankets from wolves' fur! And the day before--'"

Lily coughed in her hand. "And a few days before, I was given a proposal for marriage."

"Oh?" Grandma Yunice shifted her body, her eyes narrowing in what Lily knew was interest. "That's quite the secret. By how you said that, it sounds like you haven't given an answer."

"Well, I'm not sure how to answer."

"How about the truth?"

"I'm...not quite sure what the truth is," Lily admitted, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear. "I know I need to make the right decision, but I'm not sure what that is."

_Grandma has such warm hands_, Lily marveled--as she always did--when the older woman cupped her face with them, fingertips stroking her hairline. "Little Lily," Grandma Yunice murmured, "I assume this proposal was made by the young man you took in last year? I remember him at our dinner just last night." She leaned in, and Lily closed her eyes as the scent of vanilla tickled her nose. "Mynthia adored his stories about his travels. And to think, she used to clamor for tales of my life as a pegasus knight!"

Lily smiled at the memory. Night after night, they attended dinners or she hosted at home, but Canas seemed to enjoy them more when he talked to the children. "Yes, I think he really likes children."

"Hm. And, he is kind?"

"The kindest," Lily said, looking down at her lap. That was the truth as she knew it; for all the wonderful people she had the fortune of meeting in her life, not one could match the simple kindness in his eyes.

Sweeping her hands upward, through Lily's hair, Grandma Yunice released her in favor of patting her own hair, which was boyishly-short and streaked gray on lilac. "And you didn't say yes? What are you looking for, then?"

_I don't know_, Lily thought. _I was hoping she could tell me what I need. That's why I was depending on Mother and Father to find someone for me...they had experience in this, at least._ "I suppose...I'm looking for a peaceful life. People in my family naturally live long lives, so I'll have to live with my choice for the next forty, fifty years or so. I don't want to find out by the third year that I...made a mistake."

There was silence in the room, save for the gurgling of the simmering stew. After some time, Grandma Yunice's voice rang out like the death knell of the sending out ceremonies. "When you were so young, you wanted to be a pegasus knight. Listening to you now, I wonder where that child went." Lily could feel the weight of her stare, and she couldn't help but lower her head in response. "If you're so afraid of falling, how can you expect to fly?"

-0-

_Canas, I have to ask...why did you propose right away? Why are you still determined to go through with it?_

_Ah...well, it seemed the right thing to do. It took me a while, but once I understood how I felt, I didn't want to delay any further._

_I'm sorry, but I don't really understand._

_Well, er...forgive me. I suppose, to put it bluntly, as a scholar, I am used to following all leads on a single piece of information until I either find where it belongs, or I exhaust all leads. This is, ah, more of the same, really.  
_

-0-

"Kelial...are you here, Kelial?" Lily called as she entered his house. There was a wooden stand in the sitting room, a device she knew Kelial used to hold paper while he painted. It was small and stood on the table, facing the couch. As Lily walked past it, she couldn't help but notice the subject of his newest picture: a young woman with shoulder-length hair and a wicked smile, posing in a simple dress while holding a spear. For a second, she thought it was a picture of one of the girls in the village, but the girl's face had Kelial's striking features.

_He must be remembering again_, she thought before she looked away and called out again. "Kelial?"

"Coming, coming. Sweet Elimine, learn some patience," she heard Kelial call in a cheerful manner from his room. When he arrived, she noticed that his limp looked less pronounced than usual and smiled in relief. "Oh, happy to see me, huh?" he said with a lopsided grin.

"Always," Lily replied, taking the opportunity to give him a quick hug. "I hope I wasn't interrupting anything."

Rubbing the back of his head with one hand, Kelial shrugged. "Was sleeping. Just trying to work on pictures and ignore the craziness out there."

She kept quiet, telling herself that he was a foreigner, that he couldn't possibly understand the Ilian mindset even after four years of living in her country. Before, when Kelial had lived in her house, she had tried to educate him about the Ice Dragon and what it had done for Ilia, but he had only laughed and told her that he didn't believe in fairy tales. Even now, years later, he would shut himself in his house during the festival and paint.

_We're all entrenched in our beliefs_, her father had said once, _and as the years pass by, it becomes easier and easier to lie there and never rise again._

"I saw your painting," Lily said, gesturing behind her. "She must be one of your sisters."

The smile on his face was softer now, almost too much for the man Lily knew to be so charming and cocky most of the time. "My twin, yeah. Her name was Kaitlin--aw, I mean is." He shook his head, turning and walking into the sitting room. "I don't think she's dead yet."

"You never told me she was your twin," she had to say, even though it might've been a sensitive subject for him. She knew all about the issues of siblings. "Just that she was the closest one to you."

"Closest out of eight brothers and sisters, yeah," Kelial said with a laugh. "But we just looked more alike to each other than the others. We weren't 'one heart, one mind' or whatever mystic junk people use to describe two kids in one go."

Nodding, Lily followed him, sitting down beside him on the couch. "Do you think she's still a wyvern rider?" She glanced at him, watched the sharp intake of breath, the flutter of his eyelids, and wished that she had kept silent.

"Well, she was with this one guy from another squad before my last mission, so if she's still with him then maybe, yeah." He shook his head at this. "Horrible taste. That whole squad was weird, from that one guy with the white clump of hair to their scary bitch of a commander. God, what was his name..."

"That's not what bothers you." Leaning against his arm, she stared up at him with what she considered to be her best beseeching expression. "And he couldn't have been that bad."

"Yeah, he was worse." He wrapped an arm around her shoulders and grinned down at her. "But you're right. I'd like it if she settled down, raised a family, that sort of thing. But she's probably fighting for me or something. You know, because I'm not there to do it."

She looked down and began to twine her fingers together. "She's a good sister, then."

"Maybe. But life is so short." He sighed, and she could feel his arm tense around her. "I'm a man, I can take care of my own duty. She shouldn't be doing my work for me. That whole self-sacrificing thing isn't worth it."

A flicker of emotion trembled through Lily. "Oh?" she said, craning her neck to look him in the eye.

Kelial smirked. "Yeah, I'm talking about you. Look at you. 'My whole life is Corinth and Corinth is my whole life.' All you do is work and do things for people, but never really anything for yourself." He tugged on a lock of her hair with his other hand. "Do you want to die realizing that you never really lived?"

Turning away, Lily grumbled under her breath, "Are you coordinating your advice with Grandma's?" Forcing a smile, she looked over at her dear friend. "And what is living? I'm alive. I like what I do. Occasionally, I even love it. I know who I am and where my life is going to go. Isn't that enough?" Even with her carefully modulated tone, she still cringed inwardly when she saw him raise an eyebrow, his smile no longer there.

"Well, yeah, that's great and I admire you for all that. Sometimes I think that finding a place in the world is the hardest thing anyone can ever do." She closed her eyes when he squeezed her, reveling in his warmth. "But don't you ever want more?"

-0-  
_  
_

_Don't you want more?_

_Er...excuse me?_

_I mean...as much as I love my home, we really are in the middle of nowhere here. It takes weeks to get to Edessa if you can't cross the strait. We're lucky to have pegasus riders to deliver messages and parcels, but most of the time we're indoors. I know how much you love studying, but one day you'll finish your studies here and then what? Will you leave?_

_...I think that, if I truly felt it were best to take a journey to extend my knowledge, I would...ah, I would definitely return._

_Hm. Thank you for your honesty, but hearing that just makes me nervous._

-0-

Two weeks later, and Lily still had no answer.

She had tried her best. Every other day or so she would broach the topic of marriage and related subjects with Canas, who seemed to really understand why she needed to talk about it. If anything, he seemed more enthusiastic than when he had first proposed. Over a long night punctuated with mulled cider and laughter, she confided to him that she really hadn't a clue as to what she was doing. She told him about her parents, a story that circulated around the village as a Tragic and Wonderful Love Affair. Her parents had been close friends as children, but her mother had left the village when they were still young. For twenty years her parents had been separated, and in all that time her father focused on his studies and ignored his own parents' pleas to get married. Then her mother had returned as a traveling herbalist and proficient mage, and within weeks her parents were married.

"But you know," she had said, taking a sip of her cider, "I don't believe in happy endings like that. I don't think that children are going to pine away for each other for twenty years, and Father had mentioned once that he had been sick of his parents complaining, which was why he was waiting for me to say 'I want to get married' before he and Mother attempted to find a husband for me. That ruins the feeling of the story, doesn't it?"

"Perhaps. However, there was still a satisfactory ending, and I always did have a fondness for stories with a pleasant end." Canas had smiled, shifting his cup from one hand to the other. "You would prefer that, ah, your parents had arranged your marriage?"

She had laughed. "Of course. I'm no good at this, obviously. Your mother would probably love to do the same for you."

"I believe that she already has been," he had replied, looking bothered.

"Oh. Won't she be annoyed when she finds out that you proposed to an anima user?"

"Probably so," he had said with a smile.

It was that moment when Lily realized that she had never even considered the fact that Canas was still something of a dark magic user, even though he seemed to shy away from any mention of it. For a day, she had wondered how her parents would've reacted. The next day, when the small storm ended, she had communed with the spirits and they reassured her in their wordless language that she was loved, no matter her decision.

Now, as the Festival of the Ice Dragon drew to a close, Lily felt that the time for a decision had come.

Article by article, she removed her clothes to prepare for bed. Her mind was, for once, delightfully blank of anything important; she just wanted to sleep. The last thing she wanted to do was think about marriage and husbands and from all her observations it seemed that Canas would make a good one--

Well. Here she was thinking about it again. Just when she wanted to forget for a few hours.

_Hmph_, she thought as she tugged on her sleeping robes, _hmmph. All right, fine. I'll think about it and ruin another night's sleep because I can't stop thinking about it!_ As nonverbal punctuation, she knotted her robes together extra tight, wincing as she realized that she wasn't quite that thin yet. Miserable because of her thoughts and inability to breathe as freely as she liked, she crawled into bed, staring at the ceiling she couldn't see.

_Canas would make a good husband from what I've seen_, she admitted only to the darkest recesses of her mind. _He's kind and gentle and sweet, tolerable to live with...well, enjoyable, really. Those qualities would make him a good father as well, I suppose. He has no common sense, but I've dealt with it just fine so far. At least he's intelligent enough to make up for it._

Turning onto her side, she closed her eyes. _That intelligence...I can use it. Maybe he knows something about magic from his studies of dark magic that can be used to make Ilia green with life..._

_Are there even any cons?_ She sat up, her back resting on the headboard as she pulled her hair back with both hands, as if she were going to tie it. _Everyone keeps telling me that I need to live. I think I was living just fine without marriage, but maybe it's an enriching experience. And...I like him. Not in the way he likes me, I don't think, but I could._

_I have no reason to say no, and every reason to say yes._

Smiling in the dark, she shrugged and got out of bed. If she had to suffer sleepless nights just to come to a conclusion, then he could be woken up to get the answer he wanted.

With each step she took, all her fears and doubts echoed in her heart. Was this what she really wanted? Maybe she should just go back to bed and sleep on it. Maybe she shouldn't even have considered his proposal.

Maybe, maybe, maybe.

Then again, maybe it had been a bad idea to take in the scholar. Maybe it had been a bad idea to save Kelial all those years ago. Maybe she should have left the herbalist business to someone else; there were plenty of people her mother could've picked. Maybe her own dreams were more important than the obligation her sister ran from.

Truth be told, she resented being told that she wasn't living her own life. Yes, she had followed obligations and her general feeling that _I should do this_, but they were her decisions to make. Sometimes she felt constrained by her duties. Of course. Sometimes she wished she lived another life, one that allowed her to do as she wanted. Of course. Sometimes she had doubts, sometimes she believed she wasn't good enough, sometimes she was just sick of it all. Of course.

But, she would keep going, regardless. She would do the right thing that benefitted everyone, that benefitted herself.

That, to her, was living.

She was in front of his door now, hand raised, ready to go. A thin stream of light was visible under the door. She hesitated--_I can't believe I'm going to do this_--but in the space of a single, quick breath, she was over the moment and gave the door several firm raps. Crossing her arms, she waited for him, trying to hide the small smile on her face when he did come to door. He looked frazzled, his clothes looser than usual, his hair tousled, his monocle askew. "Y-yes? What can I do for you?" he asked, adjusting his monocle.

"Sorry if I woke you," she said, utterly unrepentant and loving it. "I've decided that I will marry you."

There was no expression on Canas' face. Even his hand froze on his monocle, putting an end to that nervous tic. At length, he opened his mouth, frowned slightly, blinked, and all in all made it hard for Lily not to burst out in laughter. _Now he knows how it feels!_ she crowed to herself. Finally, he seemed to have gone over everything in his mind adequately, as he managed to say, "...Really?"

She smiled. "Do I seem like the type to lie?"

"No! Not at all...I-I...well, ah..." His voice started to trail off when he looked down. "In our last conversation, when I indicated that I might, in fact, leave to gain additional knowledge, you seemed, er, disappointed by my answer, so I assumed that you found me...unacceptable."

"Unacceptable? Canas, I need you." With a lopsided smile, she ran a hand through her hair. "Together, maybe we can find the key to helping Ilia."

He looked up at her, a curious expression on his face. "Truly? You would let me assist you with your research?"

"We'll be partners, of course." Judging by the look on his face, this was very acceptable to him. "And your first job will be to go over the notes my family has compiled. I suppose to a scholar it'd be a treasure trove of information regarding magical theory."

"Ah...yes. Yes, I am certainly looking forward to it, and to working alongside you. I-it's an honor, of course." Looking dazed, he finally let go of his monocle. "Well, that seems to be a fruitful trade for the both of us, but...er..." Lily saw his right hand flex, as if he were actively trying to stop his compulsion to adjust his monocle. "R-regarding my, er, feelings--"

Before he could lift his hand, Lily grabbed it. "Canas," she started, looking up at his startled expression, "feelings grow. What I don't feel for you now, I may start feeling in the weeks, months, years, whatever ahead. I accept whatever you feel for me." On impulse, she stepped forward, using her grip on his hand to steady herself as she rocked up on her toes and kissed his cheek, her lips brushing against the corner of his mouth as she lowered herself down. "See?" she asked, smiling impishly.

After a long moment, he nodded once, his face a complete blank.

Worried that she might have broken him, Lily let go of his hand. "Well, um, good night," she said, hoping that he would regain his senses soon. She didn't think he'd react too well if she had to lead him to his bed.

He blinked. "Good night." He blinked again, and this time she was pleased to see that his eyes were focusing on her. "Er...pleasant dreams to you?"

"...Sweet dreams to you too," she said, and, with a wave of her hand, she began to walk back to her room. Once she was inside, she closed the door and leaned against it, closing her eyes as a wave of relief tumbled through her.

_Well, that went well._

Winter was coming, winter was _here_, but to Lily it felt as if spring had finally arrived.

-to be continued...-

And so, this technically concludes our first arc. You'll see what I mean next chapter. :) But look, we're getting somewhere now!

Anonymous reviewer thank yous go out to Denaia, TheWatcherandReader, and ceecee, who pretty much are the only anonymous reviewers on a chapter-by-chapter basis now that I think about it. Also, a big thank you to all the readers who have managed to stick it out this far; I can tell from the hits counter that the readership is pretty impressive. And last but not least, thank you to all the signed reviewers, because while I'd write even if I was getting one review a chapter, your (many!) comments make me a lot happier after classes and work. So, whatever you want to send in, however you want to send it by, I'll be more than happy to accept! Or you can just keep reading, because that's cool too.


	13. Vows

Shadows Under the Oak Tree

(C) Intelligent Systems and Nintendo

-0-

13. Vows  
(_Four cups. Our home._)

_What a pleasant day for a wedding_, Canas mused, a slight smile on his lips.

In truth, it was a typical spring day in Ilia, with the sun bashfully peeking around the clouds every now and then, but catching a glimpse of the sun was auspicious after such a long winter. He enjoyed this weather, particularly as he was currently outside with a tome to keep him company. Inside, Lily was serving a small breakfast to many of the villagers before they went to the elder's house for the wedding feast.

_Ah, the wonders of the Nabata Wastelands. Magical artifacts have lain there since The Scouring, awaiting an expedition to uncover them. _Shifting against the wall he was leaning against, Canas turned the page, his attention ensnared by illustrations of relics purported to have been lost beneath the sand dunes. He thought of how wonderful it would be if he were on such an expedition, except that he imagined the heat would be frightfully overbearing, since he had been burned painful shades of red in far more temperate locales. Still, the thought of discovering such a monumental find was a pleasant one.

_I wonder what it would feel like to lay hands on just one of these relics. Perhaps our ancestors had placed magical safeguards to dissuade such an attempt, or perhaps a mere caress would invigorate onese--_

"So, that's where you've been hiding." 

Canas looked over, his smile widening. Lily waved in greeting as she approached him. "I haven't been hiding, exactly," he responded.

Shaking her head in what was obviously disbelief, she leaned a hip against the wall beside him and looked up, something of a grin on her face. "It is pretty uncomfortable inside, especially when it's been just the two of us for the last seven or so months," she admitted, folding her arms. "And you seem uncomfortable around most people anyway."

"Er, do I?" He closed the tome, giving her his full attention. "I can't say that I, ah, am necessarily discomfited when in the presence of people in general."

She scratched at a spot just above her ear, an eyebrow raised in what he figured was a question. She was right; during the winter, it had only been the two of them for much of its duration, and with their status it stood that they had learned quite a lot about each other. As his face began to burn, she said, "It was just a feeling I had. I mean, I know that you're friendly with Rosliand and some of the kids, but you seem...standoffish around everyone else."

Considering that he still intended to become integrated with the community, he found this information to be disappointing. "Ah...forgive me, I hadn't realized..." He would have said more, but Lily began to pat him on the arm.

"It's fine. You'll get used to everyone." Her arm looped under his, and she moved up to him, her other hand on his elbow. "After all, you somehow got used to me!" she said with a wide smile.

He chuckled. "Yes, I suppose you're right."

"I'd hope so." Her grin faltered. "Well, are you ready?"

Canas looked at her, into her lovely eyes that were always flashing with emotion. Despite the abandonment of her broad smile, she was looking at him with nothing less than her usual, admirable confidence. It was obvious to him that she was ready.

"Of course," he answered, and together they entered their house.

-0-

Lily was certain her arms were going to fall off from all the indiscriminate embracing she had to do as everyone began to leave. They were all going to Grandma Yunice's home, where the real feast was to be held, with only herself, Canas, and Grandma Yunice to stay for the actual ceremony. She was only happy that nobody seemed disturbed by the arrangements; most weddings were held in the home of the village's elder, which was large enough to hold everyone, but it seemed more fitting to her to have the ceremony in her own home.

_Our home_, she thought, letting her arms hang after bidding goodbye to the last of Rosemary's four children. _Our home, which has been overrun all morning and I'll have to clean up tonight...ah, I should've thought this through..._

"Auntie, you look tired," Rian, Tinae's eldest, just had to greet her with. Lily grinned like she was baring sharp fangs and gave him a quick hug, making sure to tousle his hair just like he hated.

"That's for calling me that," she informed him as he tried to pat down his hair. "I was a child when you were born. Can't you call me 'big sister' or something like that?"

He smiled, his mother's features giving him a sort of childlike innocence despite the sixteen cycles behind him. "But Mom said it was disrespectful when you've taken so long to finally get married."

"You should tell her to worry more about her son. After all, he's not married yet and he's already older than his mother was when she got married." Lily smiled, and this time she felt it came out a little less threatening. "Don't you think?"

Rian blushed, turning his head towards the open door. "I might be working on that," he said in a defensive tone. "There's just a problem to shoot down first."

Touching his shoulder, she smiled as comfortingly as possible. Rian's situation was one of those open secrets that everyone knew about but no one openly acknowledged; it was much more fun to simply let it run its course. "I know her brother's hard to get along with, but try not to kill him. All right?"

"I'm not my mom. The idea never even occurred to me," he protested, looking guilty to her trained eye. He began to leave, throwing behind a hasty, "I-I'll see you at Grandma's!"

To his retreating form, Lily called out, "With _her_, of course!" and grinned as he ran faster. Her childhood couldn't possibly have been as much fun as his; she suspected it was more fun to watch these events than to be a party to them. Hiding a giggle behind her hand, she turned around, her attention riveted to her table. Grandma Yunice was setting down the last of the four dragonbone cups, round little ivory relics from after The Scouring. Within each cup was a part of the marriage rites, different liquids she had spent the early morning preparing with the elderly matron's help. She smiled as she hugged one of the last guests, moving through the pleasantries and congratulations like water down the mountain, her excitement building in anticipation of the ceremony itself.

Before she knew it, it was time.

"If either of you have any doubts, I suggest you voice them now," Grandma Yunice advised, easing herself onto one couch. Lily paused as she made her way to sit beside Canas on the other couch, glancing at him in amusement. He didn't look up to meet her eyes, but on his profile she could see a slight smile on his lips and she knew that they shared the same feelings on this point.

"Not at all, Grandma."

"I have no objections to voice, Lady Yunice."

Grandma Yunice was nodding just as Lily settled down beside Canas. "Good, good. Let us begin," the elderly woman stated. "I've heard you two have practiced this, so my only role here is as witness."

It unnerved Lily to proceed with a near duplicate of the marriage rites that bound Lord Barigan and Lady Edessa in life, if only because she had a great fear of messing up a thousand-year-old ceremony. Her knowledge of the rites were few, faded from the length of time, and more intellectual than anything else. Even as she adjusted herself so that she sat facing Canas, her heart thudded in fear--or was that eagerness?--inside a chest that felt as if it would soon shatter at the abuse.

_Does Canas feel the same?_ she wondered as her knees bumped against his; looking up at his face, all she could see was the softness in his dark eyes and a peculiar smile on his face. He looked happy to be here, which made her feel all the more conflicted. It was her wedding day, and all she felt was extreme...anxiety? Shouldn't she be feeling more?

_Maybe I'll feel better after the ceremony_, she reasoned, turning her attention to the four cups on her table. _I'm just so nervous...it would be so humiliating to mess up at my own wedding._

Strangely enough, the thought fortified her in that _well then, I'd better do this right!_ way. Reaching over, she took the first cup into her hands, marveling how cool the bone was to her hands. There were no hot liquids in the ceremony, which Lily thought was a good thing; with how sensitive she was feeling, they would've burned her all the way down. As carefully as she could, she raised the cup, balancing it on her fingertips, and brought it up to Canas' lips. Her fingers trembled as she let him drink, grateful that he had closed his eyes while doing so; she was self-conscious enough as it was. They opened again as he reached up, the tips of his fingers soft as they touched her wrists, then swept upward to take the cup from her. She let her hands fall onto her lap, and waited.

_Let there be times when your union is as sweet as nectar, and cherish them_, she remembered as the cup tilted upon her lips and she tasted the cool, sweet liquid inside. Once she had finished it, he put it back in its place, and she reached out for the next cup.

_Let there be times when your union is bitter, and find it in yourselves to move past them._ She saw him wince as he took in the bitter liquid, but she found that it was thin and flowed easily down her throat.

_Let your union fulfill you like the richest foods._ She wanted to gag as the thick cream slithered its way into her mouth, and swallowing it made her stomach protest. Milk-based products beyond butter were a rare and unwanted delicacy in Corinth, but he drank with relish.

_Finally, let your union always be there, just as water is always available to we of Ilia._ Ice-cold water helped remove some of the cream's nastier pinches of aftertaste left on her tongue. She opened her eyes just as she heard the final clinking sound of the cup being placed on the table, and she smiled as her body seemed to feel lighter and looser. Smiling up at Canas, she was relieved to see that his peculiar smile had vanished in favor of something that fit the kindness that shone in his eyes.

"Congratulations," Grandma Yunice said, and Lily started, her cheeks warming in embarrassment at the reaction. By the knowing expression on Grandma Yunice's face, Lily knew that it had not gone unnoticed. And here she thought the hard part was over! "As Corinth's elder, I have witnessed the ceremony and found it acceptable. Very nice." In one movement, Grandma Yunice stood, her age not at all affecting her stride to the door, or the excitement in her voice as she said the one thing all Ilians die to hear: "Let's eat, shall we?"

-0-

_Native-born Ilians seems to regard food as nearly sacred_, Canas observed as they left the house for the feast at Lady Yunice's home. Related to that line of thought was the Ilian willingness to celebrate any important or semi-important event with a feast, despite the inability to cultivate a continuous, if not reliable, source of food; from what he had witnessed, the Festival of the Ice Dragon had been a sanctified excuse to visit neighbors and hold feasts (which he appreciated). The fact that the wedding rites passed down through the generations involved consuming items of an edible nature--though he did not believe that he could live off of the sickly-sweet or bitter liquids for terribly long--was evidence of the greater importance placed upon consumables in Ilian culture--

"_Canas._"

He looked down, briefly disoriented. Lily, who had been talking with Lady Yunice as they all walked over to the village elder's home, was by his side, gripping his arm while staring up at him with a strained expression. Unsure of what that meant--other than the fact that she was probably irritated with him--he chose his words carefully. "Ah...yes, Lily?"

Instead of responding, Lily looked ahead of them, where Lady Yunice was patiently waiting. In his experience, elderly women were often quite spry, and it seemed that she was no exception. "Grandma, I'd like to have a moment alone with Canas," she said, sounding quite a bit more gentle than usual. The last time she used that tone, during the winter, she had apparently been masking her true feelings, and the thought of that happening now lent to the growing sense of disquiet inside of him.

"Of course. Young newlyweds are all the same, aren't they?" Lady Yunice laughed, and in direct correlation, Lily's grip tightened. He winced; he could not imagine the situation which granted an herbalist a grip quite like that. Or a magic user, for that matter. It was to his everlasting relief when Lady Yunice left and Lily let go of his arm.

"Can you feel that?" she questioned. He wondered if this was a trick question.

"...What exactly do you mean?"

If anything, her expression grew more intense. "It's a magical pulse. The spirits are angry, frightened...it's familiar, though." She turned around, taking a few steps to the right before cocking her head slightly, as if she had heard something. "Yes, you know it too? It's infrequent, and yet..."

Canas remembered the tome written by that unknown druid, the one that stated that all anima users were insane, their communing with the spirits nothing more than listening to the chatter of their minds. Lily could accurately predict weather conditions, which was a strike against insanity, but her current actions were...worrying. He followed her, unsure of what to do or say, until Lily dropped to her knees and swept her hands over a patch of bare ground.

"Here," she murmured. He couldn't see what she was doing, but he noticed that the ground was an ill-looking grayish brown, diametrically opposed to the rich, healthy earth of Etruria and Lycia this time of the year. It was also in the shape of a perfect circle, something he had grown to miss while studying the anima charts Lily drew. "Canas," she said, looking over her shoulder at him, "what is this?"

"Erm...it's a...circle?"

She stared at him until he felt sufficiently embarrassed, and then returned her attention to the circle. "It's strong enough in magical essence to disintegrate the snow, but it's a neutral assignment. The only thing I can feel is bits of the magical signature, but the magic is disappearing too fast..."

"Actually, that sounds like the aftereffects of teleportation," he thought aloud, adjusting his monocle as if it could help him see the magic just as well as Lily. There was the faintest glow in that patch of dirt, but he knew that he was not adequately trained in the practical use of magic to see much more than that. "It's a concept of magic that exists throughout the three schools, but only high-level magic users could possibly comprehend and use the energy required."

"How odd." Standing, she brushed the snow clinging to the bottom of her dress. "It isn't every day that a powerful magic user just appears in this place." His unease grew at her words, because...

_You two are...getting married? Is that supposed to be a joke?_

"...Mother?" he called, conflicting emotions warring inside of him. Well, warring was a bit of hyperbole; they seemed to stumble into each other more than anything else. On one hand, he would be happy if his mother acknowledged his marriage, but...

"What a disappointment."

There was his mother, stepping out from around a house, her appearance suggesting that she had spent the majority of winter elsewhere, though her dependance on her cane lent her a sense of fragility. He knew there was nothing fragile about his mother, not when, after he and Lily revealed to her their engagement, she had taken Lily aside and said _something_. Lily, who had been polite before, became extraordinarily genteel afterwards until his mother left; then, she cleaned up, told him not to bother her, and kept herself in her room for most of the day. When he had checked up on her, the room had been a blinding white and he was always used to following her lead and it was then he discovered he had instincts, too.

The room he had been living in before was now used for storage purposes.

But that was beside the point. Lily refused to tell him what his mother had said, but he thought it was obvious. His only wish was that his mother would come to accept this, if nothing else.

"Mother, it's good to see you," he said, his voice sounding slightly strained to his own ears.

"Hm." A spike of agitation jutted through him when he realized that her attention was wholly on Lily. "I had thought you were more reasonable."

Lily turned her head just enough that he would have to move to see her expression, which made him wonder if she had done that on purpose. "Lady Niime, I am always reasonable."

"Are you, now?"

"Well, within reason." Despite her deferential inflection, Canas had to wonder if Lily was not intentionally goading his mother. He really wished she would not do that.

"I see," his mother said, her tone rather like crackling ice. "I hope you remember your words in the future."

Lily bowed her head. "I intend to."

His mother glanced over at him, her expression mostly bland except for the way her brow was creased. "I hope you know what you're doing," she told him, giving him the distinct impression that she did not believe he did. Used to this, he tried to smile and felt that he mostly succeeded.

"I believe I do, Mother," he said. Hopeful, he tried to extend a peace offering to her. "Would you like to attend to the wedding feast with us?"

If anything, his mother's expression darkened. "You just strive to continually be the most exasperating child a mother could have, don't you? I won't even dignify that with an answer." Raising her staff, his mother summoned a teleportation circle underneath her, the design of which he could barely make out, and disappeared in a burst of magical essence.

_She seems the same_, he thought. _Slightly odder than usual, but it is probably to be expected_. Looking at Lily, he frowned when he realized that she hadn't really moved. "Lily, are you all right?" he asked, moving in front of her. Her expression was blank as her gaze flickered up to meet his.

"Of course." She looked up at him and smiled, the expression uncomfortably false for her. He would have preferred she showed her true feelings, but he was unsure of what he could do to help her in return. "Let's go. Everyone's waiting for us."

-0-

_I can tell you are more reasonable than my son is. I'm sure he was the one to propose such an arrangement to you, and you agreed for your own ends. Of course I can tell; you remind me of myself. But think beyond my son's kindness._

_I can't believe she came_, Lily thought for the fifth time since she arrived at the feast. Curled up on one of the couches with her legs tucked underneath her, she nursed a cup of mulled wine and tried to look as attentive and happy as possible. She took a sip of her drink, grateful that she had the foresight to eat before she started brooding.

_Be reasonable. It will not work.  
_  
"What's wrong with you?"

Glancing up, Lily noticed Tinae before her. "Hello, and nothing," Lily said with a smile. "I'm just thinking."

"You look gloomy," Tinae informed her, crossing her arms in barely checked exasperation. "This is your wedding, you know. Try to look like you're actually happy to be married."

Lily aimed her gaze for the dark liquid in her cup, forcing a laugh. "What makes you think I'm not?" she asked, swirling the wine in shaky circles.

"'Cause you look like you'd rather be working on medicines instead of being here. Even your husband is mingling with everyone else." Plopping down next to her, Tinae stretched out her legs until the tips of her boots tapped against the corner of the table. "Well, okay, he's really only talking to my son and Mynthia, but he's doing better than you."

"Hm." _I can't believe she came_, Lily thought again, disgust coloring her internal voice, _and insulted me like that. 'Be reasonable.' As if she were giving me good advice, good motherly attention. As if my good sense wasn't good enough..._

"And I thought I was annoying to be around after Nikeah left," Tinae grumbled. "Okay, Lily, really. What is it? You know I'm going to stay right here until you talk, so just make it easy on yourself."

Aggravated, Lily reached over to put her drink down before running her hands through her hair. "His mother," she admitted quietly, bringing her knees up to her chest while looking away from her friend. "She's against our marriage."

She felt the soft pressure as Tinae pressed up against her, wrapping one arm around her shoulders. "Really? Did she say, 'Hey, don't marry my son' or can you just tell?"

"Both." Lily leaned into Tinae and closed her eyes. She really didn't want to think about this. "Just...both."

"Bah. Want me to go yell at her for you?"

Lily laughed, frustration making the idea strangely appealing. "I don't think it'll work, but thanks."

"Hmph, see for yourself. No one makes my Lily feel all bad and useless," Tinae said into her hair, placing a kiss onto her temple. "After all, her son's pretty useless, from what I can see."

"...Hey, that's my husband you're insulting," Lily said, pulling away and giving Tinae a halfhearted glare. "He's useful to me. He makes tea, even when I don't ask him to."

"Uh-huh." Tinae pulled her arm away from Lily. "When you told me you were marrying him, I asked you if he did anything, and you said, 'he's a scholar' and then I asked you what the hell a scholar was, and you told me that it meant that he dedicated his life to learning. But that's just stupid, because we're always learning, so does that make me a scholar because I'm always learning how to track animals better?" Tinae poked Lily with a finger that Lily thought had spent most of its existence drawing back a taut string. It _hurt_. "Hmm?"

"I think he's useful," Lily answered with a frown as she rubbed the spot that Tinae had jabbed. "I'll never be able to use this arm again, thanks to you."

Tinae scoffed. "Quit complaining. Anyway, I guess when you're old and desperate to have a family, anyone's useful, right?"

"I'm twenty-five. My mother had me when she was _forty_." Crossing her arms, Lily glared at her friend. "And I'm not desperate!"

Tinae scoffed harder. "Says you, the woman who married the three-eyed wonder."

Lily groaned, unwrapping her arms around her in favor of dragging her nails along her scalp and letting long locks of hair twist and fall around her face. "Why do I even talk to you?"

"Because that's what friends are for. And hey, at least you're not depressing to be around now," Tinae said, smiling as she swiped her bangs out of her eyes. "Don't you feel better?"

Despite her irritation, Lily found it hard not to smile, though she hid it as well as she could. "Surprisingly enough, yes."

-0-

Canas was smiling as he exited the house for a breath of fresh air, his mind at ease. Ever since he arrived at the wedding feast, he had been involved in a pleasant conversation with young Mynthia, whom he remembered from the Festival of the Ice Dragon as being a ward of Lady Yunice, and her companion, a young man called Rian. They had talked about traveling and the differences between Ilian culture and everywhere else. Rian's experiences as a hunter among the Sacaean tribes was quite interesting to Canas, as he had only entered Sacae when he was returning to Ilia and therefore was unable to fully appreciate the region. That, and the Sacaean preference for oral traditions had put him off in the past, as he had felt more comfortable with gleaning knowledge from written sources.

He still preferred it, but he had to admit that Lily's lectures were rather absorbing.

Eventually, Mynthia and Rian left--scrambled away, it more resembled--to escape her brother's line of sight. Canas did not understand, but it led him to this moment, as he inhaled crisp air, his nose detecting the smoky tinge that still clung to his nice, warm clothes. As much as he liked the scent of irial, the long winter had given him an appreciation for slow-roasted meats--

"--I mean, I can't say that it bothers me...well, I mean, I don't have the right to tell Lily what to do."

"You're right. Lily is more than capable of deciding who she wants as a husband."

Canas paused. The voices were coming from around the corner, near where he stood. It was a very strange thing to stumble upon a a discussion involving himself, especially as he recognized the second voice as belonging to Rosliand. The first voice was familiar, and yet he could not place it.

"Yeah, I know that. After all, Lily is smart and pretty and filled with common sense."

"I don't appreciate your sarcasm, Kelial."

Ah, now he remembered. Very consciously, he crept up to the the corner of the house to enhance his intake of the conversation. He was not sure why, but he felt that he had to know where the conversation was leading, if only to soothe his curiosity.

"But she _is_. I'm just saying that it's just weird for her to just marry this guy. I mean--ha ha--if she's going to marry any guy who stays in her house for a good while, she might as well have just married me."

Suddenly, he wished he had not succumbed to the need of satisfying his curiosity. Stock-still, he tried to quell his jumbled emotions and hoped a clarification was soon in coming.

"...Is that what you would have preferred?"

"No. No, of course not. She _is_ pretty and smart and a great cook and can kill a man with a sentence--hey, everyone has their personal things, don't look at me like that--but that's all with her."

Unconsciously, Canas let go of the breath he had been holding in. Kelial's admission was very close to making him feel uncomfortable to see Lily visit the man for paintings and treatments and the like. Not to say that he could have done anything about it, but it was the principle of the matter.

"What do you mean?"

"...The woman I marry'll be the first in my heart. Of course, I want the same back. Lily, you, and a lot of the women around here are too focused on Ilia to give anyone that."

"Our country is important to us."

"Don't get me wrong, I understand how much everyone loves their country. That's natural, right? I'll always be Bernese, even though I'll never be able to get back without being executed. But...never mind."

"You don't think I understand?"

"No...I mean, your husband was part of the Union too, right? You two had each other, sure, but Ilia was still more important."

Canas' eyes widened in surprise. _Rosliand...is married? But her house seems so barren...even if he was part of the Union, wouldn't he still return...oh!_

'Was.'

Sorrow welled up within him for the woman who never seemed to express too much of anything when he conversed with her. To realize that his friend, the second one he made in the village, had suffered such a loss hurt him, and with a creeping sense of shame he slowly made his way back to the door.

The house was still festive, still filled with the sounds of adults' conversations and children scampering about. When he entered the sitting room, Lily was sitting in one of the couches, a small smile on her face as a petite girl with pulled-back indigo hair chattered with wild gestures. Mynthia sat beside her brother--he dimly remembered the boy's name as Rycen--on another couch, while Rian entertained several young children in a corner of the room. There were many other people in the room, some he thought he recognized from before, most unfamiliar faces. That Corinth held so many people surprised him.

_This is Ilia's springtime_, he realized. _There's snow on the ground and it's really not so feasible to stand outside and converse with one's neighbors, but in this place, for an event ostensibly for one of their own, they make it their own celebration.  
_  
He smiled. _How nice...no wonder Lily wanted to hold the wedding in the spring instead of the summer. It's been a while since everyone's been together, hasn't it?_

Before he could move forward, he felt a hand pressed against the middle of his back and froze, blushing at the intimacy. "Those words were not meant for you," Rosliand's voice drifted up to him, and any desire to turn around and express sympathy for her loss died a quick death at the silky-soft sound of her voice coupled with the barest hint of a razor edge. "You will put it out of your mind, and you will continue to celebrate what will surely be a long and prosperous marriage. I am going home."

"Ah...Lily would, er, miss you, I would think..." he managed to say as tendrils of fear twisted in his stomach. Turning around seemed rather suicidal at the moment.

"Bandits do not care what they're interrupting when they attack. Good day, Mister Canas."

The hand disappeared, and Canas was free to breathe again. He decided that it was best to do as Rosliand requested, and began to walk over to Lily. Hopefully, Lily was feeling better; by her smile when she noticed his approach, it seemed so.

But he could not forget what he had overheard, and he could not banish the sympathy he felt for Rosliand.

-0-

"This was a nice day," Lily murmured as they left Grandma Yunice's home. "Overall, at least." 

She caught the tail end of a glance from Canas before he returned his gaze forward, towards their nearby house. "Ah. Yes, my mother's visit was...unexpected."

_Oh, is that all?_ she thought in irritation. Out loud, she tried to sound more diplomatic as she ran a hand through her hair. "Well, I guess if she really didn't approve, she would've made sure we didn't get married?" She tried to sound flippant, but her voice felt too ground down for that. As much as she didn't care for Lady Niime at the moment, it made her feel worse to sound so harsh about his mother to him.

"I...don't think that would be inaccurate, no," he said after a moment. "I didn't particularly care for her subversive method in attempting to stop our marriage from occurring, but she seemed rather respectful towards you."

"She made me sound as if I were some wayward child who didn't know better," she grumbled, pulling down on her sleeves with more force than necessary.

Canas laughed, the sound a sliver of warmth in the cold evening. "Yes, well, I'm used to it."

"Hm?" Wickedness rose up in her, and she grinned. "But that's you. You _are_ her wayward child, studying anima theories, living with an anima user, marrying an anima user...wow, I can see why she's so bothered now."

"Er...really?"

Grinning, she crossed the final few steps to their door and opened it, briefly stomping to get rid of the snow on her boots before entering. "If I heard about the marriage of a mage and a shaman as secondhand information, I'll admit I'd be surprised and probably would've said unkind things about such a union," she admitted. Crossing her arms, she looked up at him and smiled at his attentive gaze. "But," she started, leaning towards him like she were about to reveal a great secret, "I am that anima user, and I know that things are different because it's us. No one has to understand us except for us...not even your mother."

"Ah, I see." He nodded in a thoughtful manner, a smile appearing on his face. "Your logic certainly has its merits."

"I certainly hope so. I'm the one who thinks that way, after all." She headed to her kitchen, calling out over her shoulder, "Get the door, please, and I'll go make us some tea. Peppermint's fine, right? Let's get some studying in tonight, all right?"

-to be continued...-

Ah, the horrors of not wanting to write because one's life is _sucking their soul out_. Originally, there was going to be an interlude between the two arcs, but to be honest I'd love to finish this story by the end of the year (though that won't happen on a biweekly schedule, I'm afraid). If you e-mailed or PM'd me since the last week or so, I am so sorry I haven't been able to get back to you. I'll try to do so soon...

I had to make mention of Nabata, considering Canas' little blurb in-game for the desert chapter.

Anonymous reader thank-yous go to TheWatcherandReader, as well as Denaia. Thank you all for reading!


	14. Intertwine

Shadows Under the Oak Tree

(C) Intelligent Systems and Nintendo

-0-

14. Intertwine  
(_Special lessons, part three. Matters of prejudice._)

"No."

"Er...truly?"

Lily kept her gaze lowered. If she looked directly into his face, it would be the death of her. "I can't," she ground out. This was good. If she looked angry, maybe he would just leave the subject alone.

And if this was anybody but Canas, she was sure it would've worked.

"While I accept your answer, I cannot consider the issue resolved just yet," he said, his voice calm, his tone a perfect moderate pitch. That voice, combined with the wide-eyed expression she knew he was wearing, was the perfect disguise. 'I am so innocent and mild-mannered,' it said, 'I will never force any issue because I am too wimpy to try.'

_Uh-huh_, she thought bitterly. Behind those kind eyes was a mind devoted to consuming all the knowledge in its path. Oh, she was sure he cared, he cared about everything, but it didn't mean that he would keep his curiosity reined in.

"I consider it closed," she snapped, glaring at him. Just as she thought, he was giving her that look of profound innocence; in fact, it only grew more bewildered the longer she glared at him.

"Oh. Well, that is quite, ah, unfortunate to hear." Indignation burst inside of her at his tone of voice; was he implying that she was being _unreasonable_ about this? She wasn't the one who had been pursuing the issue for the last two weeks! "I understand how important these papers are to you, and I have nothing but the greatest respect for your feelings regarding the matter, but--"

She held up a hand, silencing him. "No, Canas, you don't. If you did, you would've stopped this the first time I said no."

The look on his face suggested that he felt some measure of guilt over his incessant badgering; not enough for her, but some. "Yes, I understand your point of view. However, from what you've said about him, I can't ignore the potential help Lord Pent's papers would be to our research."

It was as if he had been looking for an opportunity to wield those words against her. Once she heard that, she knew her true answer was never in doubt. Not to him.

He could never know how much those papers meant to her, though. Research papers and studies on magic written by a specific person were relatively difficult to acquire outside of their home country; before he became Etruria's mage general, even Lord Pent's papers were a rarity. But, once she received the first one, a paper examining the constructs of the Excalibur spell, she knew she had to follow his progress. She had been seventeen at the time and should not have been so entranced by the works of a fourteen-year-old student of magic, but she could tell he knew. All the books she had read were by celebrated sages, but they only knew about theories and ideas. They didn't know about the meaning, about the true core of magic. They didn't care. If she had presented her family's ideas, she would've been laughed out of the magic community. How does one put the meaning of the Word of anima into mere words?

Lord Pent knew. As soon as she had finished the first paper, she had cried tears of happiness. Finally, someone outside her family understood the truth of magic under the structures and explanations humans had plopped onto it to give it a sophisticated, pretentious veneer. It disgusted her, how so-called magic scholars wrote and wrote without ever truly understanding.

This was so important to her. Canas' interest felt like an invasion of one of the things she held sacred. And yet, he was right. Maybe it took a mind like his to unlock the 'why' of Lord Pent's papers, instead of simply enjoying their existence like she did. Between the two of them, maybe they could find out what was needed in magic to make Ilia bloom.

That was important, too.

"...Fine," she muttered, standing up and glancing at him before looking away in disgust. The smile on his face could light up caverns. Jabbing a finger in his direction, she smiled inwardly at the flash of surprise on his face. It wasn't that damned face he put on to needle and prod at her until he got his way, it was real. "If you can't listen to me when I say no, you'll listen to me when I say this: Lord Pent's papers are precious to me. There are fewer than three copies in existence for each article. Trust me when I say they're more important than _you_. Whatever you do to them," she paused, crossing her arms as she stared up at him, "I'll do to you."

He blinked, then frowned. Then, while looking as hesitant as possible without showing outright fear, he met her steady gaze. "Er, Lily, you'll forgive me for my question, but...if I should, say, crease the paper..."

Right. Sometimes she forgot that Lord Pent's papers were just mere words on parchment. Even as her face grew hot, she glowered at him. Letting him even see them was too much for her; she wouldn't back down now.

She was saved from further embarrassment (at least, in her own mind), when Canas glanced down and noticed the letter she had placed on the table when she had come in, moments before he had started again with his campaign to get every last bit of knowledge she had to give. "By the way, I've noticed that there seems to be a direct correlation between the correspondence you've received as of late and your, ah...heightened sensitivity." He looked so concerned for her that she was almost willing to forget how annoyed she was at him.

"Leave it alone," she said, smiling tightly as she picked up the letter and slid it into the pocket of her dress. "You've gotten enough out of me today."

Even if he needled at her for a month, she would never tell him that he was right, her letters were making her angrier and angrier. Not just at the senders, her _friends_, but at herself for thinking that they would welcome her marriage as easily as the village had.

Grandma Yunice and Rosliand, even as long-standing members of the Union, had a hard time figuring out the difference between a mage and a shaman. But, in countries like Etruria and Lycia, there was a great difference.

It was enough to lose friendships over.

-0-

Canas was entranced.

_The Fimbulvetr Construct (alternatively known as the Fimbulvetr Effect) is a theory formed in the later stages of The Scouring based on what is known as the combination graph. It states that there is a special power along the lines of the great triangle within the circle; this power, which is neither the individual elements nor the central essence discussed in Archmage Caledvwlch's famous Excalibur theory, is attributed to the element of ice.  
_  
When he had still lived in Aquleia, he spent much of his time outside the library by attending lectures and classes at various magic schools throughout the city. It was a piecemeal way to learn, but he had been determined to glean all that he could from his stay. As it cost money to attend those events, he was unfortunately adept at gaining passage into such places by less than noble means, but it had been necessary. How can anyone put a price on something as wonderful as the experience of learning?

_However, the formation of the Fimbulvetr spell is the most delicate process of the anima-type incantations, due to the conceptualization of the line as a very thin barrier between the outer elements and the Source that fuels nature. Although a spellbook can be empowered by the dragonstone of an ice dragon, the words to conceptualize and activate the spell are difficult to conceive for all but the most learned anima users._

Before he had met Lily, he had never had the pleasure of hearing about the current mage general of Etruria. He was somewhat disappointed in Lily for not letting him rectify that oversight sooner, but she _had_ been moodier than usual. She denied it, but he had noticed how agitated she was whenever the delivery flyer came by, and she seemed to receive less parcels this summer than she had in the last.

_It is a popular misconception that Archmage Caledvwlch's Theory of Combination, more commonly known as the Excalibur Theory, taps its energy from the Source of Anima. Not even Archsage Athos' personal creation, the Forblaze Effect, has a direct connection to the wellspring that governs anima.  
_  
It had been necessary to make Lily surrender her collection of Lord Pent's essays to him. If what she intimated about the man was true, perhaps he could add to the research Lily's ancestors had already done. If he had some working idea of just what the forces of anima was capable of, it might be possible for him to form some theories to present to her. If he could do that, Lily might be happier.

_Archmage Caledvwlch's original notes indicate that the Excalibur spell is powered by the combination of fire, thunder, air and ice, not that the spell uses the Anima Trinity to break through the barrier into the Source; further evidence lies within the incantation itself--_

He paused. There was another knock at the door, just as soft as the first. _Oh, good_, he thought, relieved. For a moment there, he thought he had been hearing things. Besides, he could use a break.

To his surprise, Mynthia was at the door when he answered it. "Ah, Mynthia, good afternoon," he said with a smile as he opened the door wider for her. "Please, come in."

A small smile fluttered along her lips as she bowed her head. "Thank you very much, Mister Canas," she replied, smoothing down her hair with one hand. She approached the table, and he was struck by her similarity in appearance to the tiny porcelain dolls that were so common in the windows of Aquleia's shops; her black hair made her skin color seem even paler than Lily's own, but in the child's case this gave her an ethereal, haunting beauty.

"Please sit down, and I'll prepare some tea," he said, only stopping when she held out a hand, distress plain on her face.

"Please, you shouldn't go through so much trouble!" she protested. "I'm only here on an errand for Grandmother."

"An errand?" he repeated. No one came to him for such a thing, so... "You would like to see Lily, then?"

She nodded. "If it's not a bother to Lady Lily."

Oh, how he hated to disappoint the girl! "Lily went to see her friend Kelial. I believe it has something to do with a treatment he receives from her?" After the discussion he had eavesdropped on during his wedding day, he was unsure of how to feel in regards to Lily's friendship to that man. It was her decision, of course, but he could not help but feel vaguely unsettled about Kelial, although he could not pinpoint why.

"I understand. May I wait here for her?" Mynthia had looked so worried before; now, she appeared as if she really needed him to say yes to her offer.

Canas chuckled. "Then, I'll prepare some tea," he said, heading to the kitchen without delay. When he returned to the sitting room with the tea tray and all its various implements, he found Mynthia's attention drawn to Lord Pent's theses. Even when he set the tray down and removed the papers from its vicinity (he took Lily's words to heart, even though he would rather die than to have any harm befall such informative articles anyway), Mynthia seemed very interested in them.

"Mister Canas, what are those?" she asked as she pushed his hands away and reached for the teapot.

"Oh, they're, ah..." He was momentarily distracted by her grace and fluid movements as she poured his tea, then hers. "Are you sure you wouldn't, erm, have preferred me to do that?"

She stared at him with luminous blue eyes that--and he was very sorry to think this--reminded him of a legend connected to the blue flames that were said to hover far from the Lycian coast; according to Badon sailors, these were spectral flames, souls of those who had drowned in the sea. When she blinked and looked away, murmuring apologies, relief flooded through him. "I-I'm sorry, that was rude...I...I just like doing things like that..."

"Forgive me, I didn't mean to upset you," he said, quite distressed. How he hated making others uncomfortable! "Er...you, you were referring to the papers, correct? They're for research for a project that Lily and I are working on."

Awe seemed to dawn on her face, judging by her wide eyes and parted lips. "Really? May I ask what it's about?"

"Its primary focus is on magical theories...basically, we're attempting to use magic to enrich the land," he said, and then it hit him. He was assisting Lily in what could become the discovery of a lifetime--no, of Elibe's history! The goal was revolutionary in and of itself, but the potential discoveries that would be made in the course of their studies...oh! He had never been so happy to have married Lily until now. Granted, their marriage was only a month old, but all things considered, few events could trump the realization that he was a scholar married to a woman with the most ambitious goal Elibe had ever seen.

He cared about Ilia; it was his homeland, after all. However, was it so wrong to be led by one's intellectual curiosity?

"My, Mister Canas, you must really like what you're doing!" Mynthia's voice drew him back to the present moment, where the girl was smiling at him as she picked up her cup. "Reading must be really fun."

He blinked, a look of concern settling over his features. "Well, I certainly think so. Doesn't everyone?"

"I wouldn't know," she said with a smile. "I can't read."

Shock and horror melded together and tumbled through him, crashing through his belief system and naivety with despicable aplomb. That there were people who could so easily admit to being illiterate and smile about it...no. _No_. How could it be possible? During his travels, those he came in contact with that were unable to read were ashamed of such a thing.

_Maybe it didn't really happen_, he thought. Very carefully, he asked her, "Do you mean that, if I were to write your name on a piece of paper, you would be unable to decipher it?"

"Yes, I think, although if you did it now I could guess it was my name," Mynthia said with a sort of earnest cheer that hurt him to see.

He ventured forth. "Would you like to learn how to read?"

"Um..." She tilted her head one way, then another. "I don't know. When I think about it, what would I use it for? I know everyone in the Union has to learn, so maybe my brother would like to learn before he goes off to Edessa, but I kind of want to stay here." Mynthia shrugged. "I don't think it'd be very useful."

Canas wanted to cry.

-0-

"So, how's the married life?"

"For the most part, it doesn't feel any different than before."

Rosliand took a sip of tea. "Your husband seems depressed."

"I know," Lily said, anxiety weaving through her words. Tucking her feet underneath her, she let her fingers work through the ends of her hair as she faced Rosliand, who sat on the other end of the couch. "He's been that way for the last couple of days. While he studies, he sighs a lot, and he keeps asking me weird questions, like how old was I when I learned how to read, and why I did and such."

"Hm." After another sip of tea, Rosliand put the cup down onto the table. "So, what did you do to him that would make him so depressed?"

A small frown creased Lily's brow. "What did I..." she started in confusion, then glared at her friend. "I didn't do anything! All things considered, I think I've been too nice to him," she declared, turning her head away. In the last few days, she'd been constantly checking on him whenever she was home, finding the appropriate books whenever he needed them, and made meals she knew he liked, just to name a few things, and all he would do was thank her and continue to look absolutely miserable.

"But you threw him out today," Rosliand said, her smile a twitch away from a smirk. Lily sighed.

"I didn't throw him out, I told him that a walk might help him more than sitting hunched over books and papers and developing bad posture." Reaching out for her cup of tea, Lily drained it in one gulp. "And he agreed and thanked me, just as you saw."

"And you told him not to come back until he felt better. Judging by the last few days, it seems you've just lost your husband."

Lily stared at Rosliand, speechless. Finally, she shook her head. "You're having too much fun with this. I thought wanton cruelty was forbidden by the edicts of the Union."

There was the twitch. "I'm retired."

Giving up, Lily reached over to pour herself another cup of tea. They sat in comfortable silence as they drank, until Rosliand put her empty cup on the table. "You've been out of sorts, too. To be honest, how can you help him when you can't help yourself?"

"You're right," Lily realized out loud. While serving Rosliand more tea, she tried to focus her thoughts. "I can't talk to Canas about this because it's about him."

"Something he did?"

"No, something I did." Pensive, Lily looked down at her lap, clasping and unclasping her hands, letting her fingers stir up wrinkles on her dress. "I told some of my friends in my letters once the flyers came by again that I was getting married to a--" she cleared her throat, "--a 'scholar of dark magic' who was interested in my resources in magical studies."

Rosliand looked at her with an expression that Lily found very strange; she looked surprised. "Is that the truth?"

"Mm-hm, pretty much. I mean, he also said he had feelings for me, but..." Lily smiled and shook her head. "Well, I was happy about getting married, but I forgot that scholars tend to be scholars in the field of knowledge that they know intimately, so they figured out that he was a shaman."

"I know what the difference is between a mage and a shaman, but what is the problem?"

_It's unnatural_, Lily remembered from one of her letters, and she closed her eyes. "Some people don't have a problem with it. Others find it an oddity. And a few...well, it's disgusting to them. Opinion is opinion, but..." Sighing, she opened her eyes and shrugged. "I trade with many of these people, and what I get from them, I trade to the others here so we can all have little comforts."

"Is it necessary?" Rosliand asked, a line on her brow appearing suddenly. "We can do without little luxuries. We always have."

_Father loved Ryerde's chocolates_. Brushing away the thought, Lily nodded. "I know, but why can't we have nice things too? Why does 'Ilia' have to be synonymous with 'destitute'? 'Suffering'? 'Death'? I know that we're the strongest people because we're forced to do more than all the other countries in order to survive, but we deserve to enjoy things too."

Rosliand said nothing for a long moment, before reaching out to touch the back of Lily's hand. "I admire that about you. Prideful as you are, you are mature enough to understand the consequences. If this is the way you feel, then why are you so bothered?"

"Because I can understand why those that hate do. I'm...that was how I felt too. Without seeing it, I believed that dark magic was horrible. And when I did see it, my feelings were confirmed. It's one of the filthiest things I've ever seen." Lily turned her hand, taking Rosliand's hand into her own as she stared into her friend's eyes. "But Canas is nothing like that. _Never_.

"It bothers me because I made my decision based on the person, not on the feelings I had about the magic. It bothers me that people who know me, who know that I do my best to think things through in a rational manner, can't trust that I might have used that same rationality here. His own mother looks at me like this is all my fault because I said yes!" Indignation throbbed in her chest, so different from how she felt when Lady Niime took her aside and told her to _be reasonable_. Then, she had been hurt as well as angry. Twenty-five and treated like a child; it was unbearable. She had reached out to him, desperate for some assurance that she was doing the right thing. She had never expected him to reach back.

Maybe she wasn't very reasonable, after all.

"...Despite this, you're still happy enough with him?" Lily nodded, snapped back into the present moment. "Oh, good. I'm expecting lots of nieces and nephews to train," Rosliand said, her smile disarming in how happy and non-threatening it looked.

Lily wasn't fooled, but she was embarrassed at the mention of children. "You mean, to torture, right?"

"Hm, do you really think so?" Standing up, Rosliand finished off her cup before making her way to the door. She glanced back, a wicked grin on her face. "I'm not getting any younger, so hurry up."

"Good _day_, Rosliand!"

-0-

Staring into a stream full of fish that wouldn't bite, Canas contemplated.

All his life, he believed that the most important component to a satisfying life was willfully continuing the act of learning. Humans were specifically structured to learn and to adapt according to what knowledge they gained. To deny knowledge was to deny one's own humanity.

He did not feel strongly about many concepts that people thought were paramount in or to life. Did humans possess souls? Perhaps. What was man's role in nature: to be its master, or to live peaceably within it? It was a moral quandary. And so on, and so forth. But knowledge...ah, sweet knowledge. The elixir of life, the foundation of the world people made for themselves. To read about the past was to shape the future.

This was the one idea he felt strongly about. He had to do something about the apathy towards it.

Lily sighed as she dozed, her head on his shoulder, long locks of pale hair flowing over his chest as she shifted. He smiled, his face lightly burning as one of her hands brushed against his hip. She had been the one to suggest fishing, but she had spent the night before making her medicines and muttering about how she lacked one plant or another; consequently, as soon as they had reached a suitable spot earlier that morning, she had promptly fallen asleep on him. He could not say he minded this, yet...

There was a tug on the string. Canas would have liked to react, but as Lily was occupying much of one shoulder, he was deterred from making any extravagant movements lest he wake her up. Another tug, and then the line snapped, allowing the fish to move on with its life. Now he was the one sighing. _Well_, he thought, _I might as well wake her up anyway_.

He wondered what she would think of his newest proposal. She did, after all, have grave thoughts about his last one.

"Lily," he murmured, and she yawned and sat up in response; 'light sleeper' was an understatement for her sleeping habits. Glancing at her, he noticed that she still looked tired and felt mildly contrite about waking her--she never seemed to get any sleep. Actually, now he was feeling very guilty. "Forgive me, you should go back to sleep."

She rubbed at her eyes. "No, sorry, I should stay awake. I'm the one who suggested this, right?"

"Er, yes, but..." Helplessly, he refocused his attention on the stream, then turned to look at her again. "Ah, actually, could we talk?"

Her smile put him at ease. "Sure, what about?"

"I...would like your opinion on an idea I had," he said, studying her face. There was nothing but rapt--if not a little tired--attention there. "I thought it might be a good idea to teach the children of the village literacy skills."

"Hm," she murmured, stretching out her legs. When she looked at her boots, twisting her feet one way, and then another, he could still see her lips as she pursed them. After a bit of this, she returned her attention to him. "Why?" she asked.

He was stunned. "...Ah...why do you ask?"

"It doesn't sound like a bad idea," she said, shrugging, "but I don't understand the importance of it. Most of the children will never leave the village, and the day-to-day happenings don't require book knowledge." She grinned at him. "Just some common sense."

"Lily, please be serious," he said, a little disappointed at her cavalier attitude. "You'll forgive me if I can't comprehend why the daily lives of people would give them a reason to detrimentally affect their boundaries of knowledge."

"Excuse me?" Still smiling, she propped one arm on his shoulder while waving her other hand in what seemed to be a flippant manner. "Canas, listen to yourself. 'Detrimentally affect' is insulting. Just because most of us don't live the way you do doesn't mean they're living the wrong way. A friend told me that we are always learning. Don't you think so?"

_That is true_, he considered as he continued to look at her. _And yet..._ "Forgive me for my rudeness. In any case, a well-rounded education should never be condemned."

One corner of her mouth rose significantly higher than the other, and he wished she would stop looking so amused about such an important issue. "Who's condemning anything? If you want to do it, I'll support you. Don't expect any less from me. But you sound so close to being condescending about the way we live, and I don't like that."

His mouth went dry. "I never meant--"

"I know," she said, pulling away from him. "You're doing this with good intentions. That's fine. Just...however your path of knowledge goes, just remember that it's not the same for others. What you value isn't valued by everyone else." Wrapping her arms around herself, there was a sudden aura of vulnerability surrounding her; this was diametrically opposed her normal assertive behavior, and he frowned in response. "People are allowed to follow the paths their minds have set up for them."

There was something about her words that bothered him, something about the meaning, but he chose to ignore it for now. Instead, he placed a hand on her shoulder. Even with such a simple gesture, his heart beat a little faster; physically reaching out to people, as opposed to reaching their minds, was still nerve-wracking, even in the context of marriage. "Thank you, Lily," he said with sincerity. "I will certainly keep your words in mind."

She smiled, and Canas felt content.

-to be continued...-

I really enjoyed writing this chapter, and I hope it shows. Actually, I hope you all like something about this chapter as well. A couple notes:

-Caledvwlch is the Welsh name for Excalibur, which in turn is derived from the Latin _ex caliburn_. If you think that's punny, just wait a bit longer; there's a pun in the story that's even worse. _Trust me_.

-I've never fished in my life, unless you count the Breath of Fire series' addictive fishing game. Sorry to any fishing enthusiasts I might have insulted.

Thank you to anonymous reviewers Denaia and TheWatcherandReader. I don't want anyone to feel forced into reviewing, but I do love hearing what you think. Thank you for reading, and please check my profile--I might have something interesting coming up!


	15. Matters of the Heart

Shadows Under the Oak Tree

(C) Intelligent Systems and Nintendo

-0-

15. Matters of the Heart  
(_School is now in session. Hail to the Union._)

Canas was happy.

"I'm sorry, Canas. I really tried my best." 

Perhaps delighted was a better word?

"It's like I told you. I mean, some people are kind of interested, but learning how to read just seems...unnecessary to most of them."

No, no..._ecstatic_.

"Maybe later more people will come, but for now, you've only got one student."

It was the last word that caught his full attention. Turning to her, he smiled at the sight of her in her sleeping robes, the ends of several blankets neatly tucked at her waist as she leaned her upper body against the headboard. The lantern on his nightstand was too weak to properly illuminate the bedroom, but the darkness that cloaked much of her face and upper body could not hide the way her lips were pursed. "Yes," he agreed, unable and unwilling to hide the trill of excitement in his voice. "Thank you, Lily. That you took the time to inquire on my behalf means more to me than I can say."

"Really? I thought you might've wanted more." She lowered her head, looking at him with eyes rimmed with shadows. "After all, this whole project's important to you, isn't it?"

"I...would not say it was merely, er, a project," he said, glancing away from her, to the cover of the tome on his lap. Anima: A Collection of Essays Sixth Edition, it read in faded gold lettering, and as anima literature went it was slightly above mediocre in quality, but performed competently when it came to sheer quantity. "I can only hope that something greater can be formed by my initial efforts...perhaps a school." He chuckled; it was certainly an attractive dream, if not quite feasible at the moment. "But that will come in time."

"That's very ambitious of you," Lily said, and it was the fact that she could say that when her own dreams were far more ambitious made him smile.

"Thank you." Turning to her, he only smiled wider at her mostly bland expression, a raised eyebrow the only cue he had into her current emotional state. He had no idea what emotion that represented, but it certainly appeared to be an interesting one. "It means a lot to me. To hear you say that assures me that I am on the correct path."

Her lips curved into a smile that was all the more mesmerizing to him, teasingly hidden by the night as it was. "The correct path? What's that?"

"...I can't quite say," he answered, his tone serious as he pondered what he was sure was just a flippant question on Lily's part. In actuality though, she had a point, no matter how obtuse it was. There were so many paths that lay before him as a scholar--

_as a shaman  
_  
--and he found himself eager to dabble in as many of them as possible. What was knowledge without risk and experimentation? The focus of thought granted by study was quite different than what teaching required, and yet it was that focus that was the pivot for learning. He had tutored before, and enjoyed the lessons he received from it, but this time was quite different.

After all, he was a permanent resident of Corinth now.

Lily was still smiling, and he felt the inexplicable urge to touch her. A caress of the back of her hand, a strand of hair twirling around one of his fingers...not much, really. And her smile suggested--which was substantiated by the memories of the outcomes of such urges--that she would let him. But, just as thought became action, her lips parted. "That's a good answer. I think none of us really know what the best path ever is." She closed her eyes, shifted backwards a bit, and to him it seemed as if a veil had been hastily thrown over her face. "But we go along anyway."

He had struggled quite a bit to follow his way of life, so he could not agree that it was merely 'going along anyway', but then he thought of his brothers and wondered if he had not taken the easiest path after all.

When he retired for the night, his dreams were edged with jagged fangs of ice, but there was only a deep, unquenchable emptiness inside its gaping maw. It was the first time since he had shared a bed with Lily that he thought about the rigors of elder magic, and even while he listened to her steady breathing, he was unable to sleep again.

-0-

"Lady Lily, the envoy from the Union is here and she's dressed like a really important pegasus knight," was all that Mynthia needed to say to pique Lily's interest. After a quick change into something nicer and a few words of encouragement to Canas--who didn't look like he needed them, although he did look tired--she headed over to Grandma Yunice's house. Children ran by, shrieking about wanting to see the pegasus at the stables, and she smiled as she remembered doing the very same thing when she was younger.

Something in her chest trembled at the thought, though she wasn't sure why.

When she entered Grandma Yunice's sitting room, Lily noted that the meeting attracted more eyes than just her own. For instance, Tinae, her husband Valan, and their youngest daughter Sami sat on one of the couches, all three staring at the envoy with mixed expressions on their face. Mina sat on the couch with its back to the entrance, though Lily could see she had both Rachel and her newborn child with her. There were others, mostly the parents of those sent to Edessa in earlier years, and Lily wondered if the envoy was here to discuss those family members who were part of the Union...or their fate.

Grandma Yunice, who sat next to the envoy, did not notice Lily, but the envoy turned and looked directly at her. "Another one?" she asked, a tinge of an unfamiliar accent slurring her words.

"Forgive me for my interruption. I am Lily, the, ah, apothecary of the village," Lily said, trying to sound as confident as possible. The pegasus knight's black-eyed gaze reminded her of the Rosliand she met so many years ago; there was an ugly sharpness in those eyes that prompted the incantation of the Fire spell to start tumbling through her mind, even though she lacked the tome.

"And a mage," the pegasus knight stated. "You're the guardian Rosliand has written about, I assume. Well met." Before Lily could retort that they weren't actually 'well met' until the other woman introduced herself, the envoy turned back to Grandma Yunice. "I must say, Yunice, that I'm surprised there are so many of your villagers for such a little meeting. Perhaps they would be of better use elsewhere?"

"Oh, yeah. I suppose we'll go farm in the snow or something," Tinae muttered, though her words carried. Hushed agreement rose among the villagers, and Lily saw the envoy's eyes narrow in response. A shiver crept through Lily, though she couldn't understand why. After all, the other woman was part of the Union, presumably an Ilian. There was no need to fear a countrywoman.

"Tinae, dear, this is not your turn to talk," Grandma Yunice chided, her face all lines of seriousness. "And Leto, my people are always welcome in my home. That is why you are here. Now, come, tell me what has happened."

Lily stepped closer to the center of the room, concern lighting up her thoughts and nearly blinding her other worries with the glare. Standing just behind Mina, she could feel the anxiety of the room rise as the envoy stood.

_Please, please don't announce any deaths...  
_  
"General Cassandra has made the decree that all girls preparing to enter the training for knighthood must be adequately trained in their home villages first." A sigh passed through many lips at the announcement, Lily's own included. Glancing at Tinae, she could only see a vague irritation in her friend's expression as she sat, rock-still. "For instance," Leto started, staring down her nose at them, "out of your _three_--" the number was spoken as if it were a curse, "--possible recruits, only _one_ of them has thus far been anything approaching adequate. We're dying out there, and this is what you give us in return?"

Cries of indignation erupted from all the villagers around Lily, but she said nothing at all. All she could do was stare at the woman in shock, only one thought in her mind: _How can she say that?_

_How can a member of the Union be so insulting towards us?  
_  
"How dare you? How _dare_ you!" Tinae yelled over the others. Lily started as she saw her friend stand up, fists bunched at her sides as she snarled at Leto, "My daughter's one of those recruits! I gave you my child, and you think you can talk down to us because, because you're a pegasus knight?"

Leto turned towards Tinae, and in the younger woman's profile, Lily saw something very old and weary. "No, I'm talking this way because I am tired of seeing children die."

"Then maybe you shouldn't send children to die for people who don't care about us or our problems!"

"Tell me, then: How do you expect to live if we aren't bringing in gold by dying for you?"

Lily could only watch the tête-à-tête between her friend and the pegasus knight, their words flying into her heart like arrows. On one hand, it was disgraceful to see this display; pegasus knights were heroines, but they weren't supposed to act entitled, as if they were the only ones suffering Ilia's chilly embrace. On the other hand, it hurt.

_They shouldn't be fighting. If my family...if I did my job right, there would be no need for any of this! We wouldn't have to fear for our children or our friends any time a pegasus knight arrives. We should be united, but look at this._

Without a sound, she walked out, determination racing through her. She didn't want to see her country fracture before her very eyes. There was no way she would endure it.

So, she was going to do something about it.

-0-

Canas felt the effects of sleep deprivation, but his anticipation over the prospect of having a student soundly took the edge off of his lethargy. He was smiling as he continued his nighttime reading that morning in his usual place in the sitting room. Lily had left some time ago, leaving him with a smile and a rush of sweetly murmured compliments against his ear, all of which significantly cheered him up. How lucky he was that Lily was so supportive of his ideas!

_How wonderful_, he thought as he noted an interesting bit of information about magical infusion--well, and the fact it was impossible, but he paid that no mind--and reached for the notes he had made of Lord Pent's essays. Etruria's mage general seemed more interested in the components of magic, as opposed to the unique ways one could use the entire spell, but as a whole they furthered his knowledge of anima by quite a bit. _My first student in the village...ah, this reminds me of the time I tutored a young man in Tania for his parents' sake. I wonder how he is doing now, as a part of a lord's court..._

_Come to think of it, Lily neglected to tell me anything about my student...or rather, I neglected to ask..._

A firm knock at the door interrupted his thoughts. Rising to answer it, he could not help but wonder how he could have forgotten such an important detail. He supposed he was about to meet his student, but he might have liked some warning ahead of time.

The first thought that filtered through his mind after he opened the door was _this boy looks like Mynthia_. That was accurate enough; the young man had the same black hair and lithe build, although his eyes were more the color of the ocean on a bright day, a vivid blue-green that was far more comforting to look at than Mynthia's more icy hue. A second thought followed: _Oh, right. Mynthia has a twin brother. His name was...Ry...Rian? No, that would be Mynthia's friend. Hm..._

"You are...Master Canas?" the boy asked. Canas nodded, bemused by the new title; it was quite possibly the most respectful honorific he had ever received. "Oh. I'm Rycen. I'm here to receive lessons in the scholarly arts."

Wondering just what Lily had been saying, Canas repeated, "The, ah, scholarly arts?"

Rycen shrugged, somehow still managing to look respectful with the dismissive gesture. "That was what Dame Rosliand called it."

"I see." _Lily must have told Rosliand_, Canas thought, feeling a pinprick of guilt. He could have done that, but indeed he had not even talked to his friend at length in some time, only offering little more than pleasantries. It was not as if he were ignoring her, exactly, just...the memory of his wedding day was still fresh in his mind, never mind that it was now almost two months after the fact. "Well," he said, attempting to clear his mind, "please, come in."

When Rycen walked past him, Canas noticed the sword at the boy's hip and the way Rycen walked, in a steady, confident manner. _He's either a knight--unlikely because of his youth--or training to be one. Perhaps he trains with Rosliand?_ Canas realized. Before he could raise the topic of tea before the lesson, Rycen said, with his back to Canas, "Lady Lily isn't home."

Canas blinked. "Er, no, she left a while ago."

"I thought so. When she's home, you can hear and smell the brews she makes." Rycen turned around, the slight smile on his face a near perfect mirror of his sister's own hesitant smiles. "Dame Rosliand is teaching me to always be aware of my surroundings, as it can lead to victory or death."

"You are Rosliand's student, then?" Canas asked, trying to figure out how to nudge the question of tea into the conversation.

"Yes, her and Sir Jorah. They're teaching me to become a mercenary knight of value. That's why I'm here, because Dame Rosliand said it was a worthwhile venture."

" I see,'" Canas murmured, curious as well as delighted to find that Rosliand had such positive feelings towards learning. "Would you like some tea?"

Rycen shook his head. "No, thank you. Cold water is good enough."

"Certainly so, but it is a cold day..."

The way Rycen lifted his gaze to meet Canas' eyes unnerved the older man. There was something in the stare that was every bit as cool and unaffected as Mynthia's, despite the soothing color of the boy's eyes. "Well, I am a man of Ilia. If I weren't becoming a knight, I'm still healthy enough to dig up terraces and attempt to plow the land Edessa has designated for crops. Either I conquer the cold, or it conquers me." Rycen looked down, walked over to what was Lily's normal spot, and sat down, looking up at Canas as if he expected something. "Sir, I am ready to learn."

If nothing else, Canas realized, his student was eager. An understatement, perhaps, but fairly accurate all the same.

-0-

"You want a circle here, Lily?"

"Yes. And then a triangle to connect those three circles."

"Sure. Need me to write in anything?"

"No, I'll do it later. Besides, your spelling is horrible."

"What? I don't believe you. Name one time I misspelled something."

"... 'With' isn't spelled with one 'e', let alone two."

Kelial laughed. "The word looked like it needed more decoration. Live a little, Lily."

"It's a word. Words don't need to be decorated--they are the decoration," Lily said in a serious tone, though her wide smile hindered the effect. "After all, I've seen Bern's seals and crests," she teased.

"Hey, we aren't as bad as Etruria, those stuffy fools," he protested, craning his neck to look at her as she stood behind his couch and watched him work. 'Irritable' didn't begin to describe him when anyone sat beside him as he painted. "Then again, I guess maybe that's what you like."

Her strong admiration of Lord Pent notwithstanding--_how would he know about that, anyway?_ she wondered--Lily didn't understand how her friend came up with that. "What do you mean?" she asked, leaning forward in curiosity.

Kelial put down the piece of shading stick he was using and leaned back, smiling as he looked over at her. "Your husband. Every time I see him, I keep forgetting he's really supposed to be Ilian. He's nothing like the rest of you."

Her first inclination was to ask Kelial just exactly what he meant, but that was quickly beaten down when she realized that he was right. Though she was trying to be supportive of Canas' ideas, she couldn't help but wonder what the point of it all was. Every time she talked to one of her friends, she was also trying to convince herself that this was a good thing in the end.

Tensions in Ilia were growing with everyone's desperation. Was such a fancy as teaching people things they seemed to get along just fine without really important compared to making Ilia bloom and solving the country's main problem?

"Mm, you're right." She closed her eyes. "He's different, but also...familiar, I suppose. Maybe that's a good thing."

"Yeah? How so?"

Opening her eyes, she smiled as she took in his expression of curiosity--one eyebrow arched impossibly high, a grin that suggested he had no idea what he was grinning about, but he was going to do it anyway. Yet, the sincerity in his eyes was enough to make her want to tumble into the spot next to him and tell him everything. "Oh...well, I don't know. It's obvious we don't think in the same way at all, but he always cares, and he's so stubborn about getting what he wants..."

"Yeah, that does sound like you," Kelial said, snickering. Lily pouted, though she tried very hard to look mature about it.

"Please. I'm strong-willed, that's all." She looked past him, towards the easel that was set up on his table. His latest picture was of several diagrams of various connected triangles and circles; all the major diagrams of the spells of anima were included. To her, they were all very different, but maybe there was something else, something that most anima-users had never noticed.

Maybe finding that was the key to a green Ilia.

A humming sound from Kelial broke into her thoughts. "So you're the good thing, and he's the bad? You're such a _nice_ wife."

She couldn't help it; she swatted at his head while he laughed. "This coming from the man who refers to my husband as an Etrurian when we both know that Etruria and Bern don't exactly have the best relationship?"

"That's 'Bern and Etruria'. We're better," he commented with a grin.

"And Ilia's the best, if you get past the snow and the lack of vegetation." Lily scoffed, before deciding to become more serious. "Anyway, Canas is very nice. You'd see that if you made friends with him."

Kelial gave her a strange look--which she probably deserved, now that she thought about it--and returned his attention to the drawing. "Make friends? With him? I only like attractive women as my friends, thanks." There was a pause, and then he turned to look at her again, the barest hint of a smirk lingering along his lips. "Oh, and don't forget your half of the trade. I'm looking forward to it."

"Oh, get back to work. And don't worry, I remember my end of the bargain." To herself, she added, _Canas won't like it, but he'll understand. Once he sees the finished product, he'll probably forgive anything...I hope._

-0-

When Rycen had taken to giving the paper before him an intense glare before copying the letters that comprised the standard Elibean alphabet, Canas decided that his new student had earned a break. It was rather unnerving to see such outright determination flaring before his very eyes, especially as he was beginning to get the impression that the boy, who seemed so polite and well-mannered, was probably not half as deferential as he affected. Canas was unsure of when, exactly, he received that impression. Lily had a particularly vicious glare as well, but she was rather more restrained about using it. However, Rycen seemed to be brimming with energy and was too youthful to bother tapering it for more passive occasions.

"...Well, Rycen, perhaps we should take a break," Canas said, smiling. Rycen looked up at him, remnants of the glare still lingering in his eyes. Somewhat unnerved, Canas began to adjust his monocle; if that was the reaction he would get for suggesting a break, he feared what might occur when he had to call an end to the lessons of the day.

"If you say so, Master Canas, although I am still willing to work on this."

Canas wished the boy's words and expressions matched up more often. "Oh. Well, ah, when breaks are taken strategically, one's endurance is prolonged accordingly," he said, mildly surprised when the boy stared at him with wide eyes.

"I...I understand! I'll remember that from now on." While Canas remained surprised, Rycen laid his writing utensil down, a smile brightening his face. "When I accepted Dame Rosliand's request, I'll admit that I was unsure of the, um, usefulness of all this. But that sounded like good advice for a military expedition. Were you with the mercenary knights, Master Canas?"

The very thought that he could be mistaken for a mercenary knight was enough to momentarily stun Canas, but the thoroughly earnest expression on the boy's face was a sufficient antidote for that response. Instead, he settled for mumbling, "Er, no, not at all."

Rycen stared at him. "But...you're Ilian. All men of distinction in Corinth have paid their dues by joining the mercenary knights."

And what do you call those men that haven't, Canas nearly asked before deciding that it was best not to raise his student's ire. He had the impression that the topic was a rather heated one for the boy, and decided to open a new path in the conversation. "You seem to have very strong positive feelings towards the Union," he said in what he felt was a friendly tone. "Do you have any relatives serving with them?"

Rycen closed his eyes, lines of stress appearing on his brow, and Canas worried that his question was an ill-thought one. "My parents did, as a pegasus knight and a mercenary knight." The boy's lips pursed, and then he opened his eyes and shrugged. "When my sister and I were very young, they ended up being hired by opposing sides and killed each other."

All Canas felt was a deep sense of horror at Rycen's revelation. "They...they did? But why?"

"Because if they refused to give it their all, our reputation as loyal mercenaries would be ruined," the boy explained in a matter-of-fact tone. "If we couldn't offer our undying loyalty to our employers, why would they hire us over the local swords-for-hire in their region? My parents understood this, and it's because of them that we're still the best of the best."

Instead of being pacified by Rycen's explanation, Canas felt rather worse. It was simply unbelievable to him that a husband and wife could...could kill each other to maintain the Union's reputation. And the pride in Rycen's voice as he recounted this only made the disbelief grow. "Y-your sister...what does she think about this?" Canas asked, trying to sound casual and feeling as if he were failing spectacularly.

Rycen frowned. "She has no respect for the sacrifice our parents made, and she doesn't want anything to do with the Union. She even got Grandmother to hold her back from joining the pegasus knight trainees when we turned ten." Shaking his head, he looked up at Canas and said, in tones so earnest it hurt Canas to hear them, "It's embarrassing to have such a disrespectful sister. The more she disregards our parents' sacrifice, the harder I have to work so that they aren't insulted by her rudeness."

There was nothing Canas could say. Indeed, he had nothing to say at all. From listening to Lily, he had received a fairly positive outlook on the Union as an institution. The Tanian inn where he had witnessed the mistreatment of two pegasus knights only made him feel sorrow towards the suffering of the Ilian people. However, Rycen's words made him want to rethink his position.

Ilia was his homeland, no matter that he had lived much of his life away from the general populace. That those he could consider to be 'his people' by their shared homeland endured such suffering because they were unable to find another solution made him want to do something about it.

He wanted to see it end.

-0-

Canas was intriguing to watch while he read, Lily decided. She used to think of him as being cute in the way young, harmless creatures were cute, or the way young children were cute before they proceeded to tear apart a room with maddening efficiency. This was apt, if only because he did stupid things (like sell his clothes or propose marriage) and she had to fix them. As long as one of them had some sense, this was fine.

Then there were times when she was...impressed. His single-minded devotion to studying was admirable. Somehow he had managed to find the village in the first place, in the middle of an Ilian winter, by sheer luck; obviously, the spirits liked him. Once he put his mind to something, he would needle and prod and simply outlast his opposition by the virtue of his patience. Weren't those the sort of traits needed in the person that would help her figure out how to make Ilia blossom in the spring?

But she digressed. They were in bed, and he was reading Chiaroscuro: A Study of the Evolution of Light and Dark Magic, Volume 1 (detailing in unnecessary capitalization The End of The Scouring, The Rise of Saint Elimine, and Bramimond and the Order of the Umbra). It was boring because of the bland writing, but she would never be able to tell by looking at him. There he was, eyes narrowed just so, concentration all but etched in his furrowed brow, his lips slightly parted and ready to form an echo of some horribly long word or another. Every so often, he turned the page, treating the paper with the most delicate of caresses as he did so; every so often it seemed as if he had just inhaled. The lantern flickered cheerfully on the nightstand on his side, lending his profile the appropriate amount of shadows to suggest just how dedicated and scholarly he was in this moment.

He read, she watched, and finally he turned the page and breathed at the same time, which caused his concentration to flicker towards darkness before dissipating when his gaze happened to meet her own. "...Hm? Is there something I can do for you?" he said in his usual friendly manner, and she wondered if he would make a pot of tea if she wanted. _Not that we'll have any tea left_, she thought with a mental grimace. Kelial drove a hard bargain when he wanted to.

"I can't believe you can read that book and look like you're enjoying it," she said instead.

"I...can't say I'm enjoying it. The history and comparisons between the growth of the two studies are interesting, yet..." He shrugged and placed the marker ribbon to hold his place as he closed the book. "The author's lengthy digressions are rather wearisome after a while," he admitted.

She grinned. "I told you so."

He chuckled as he reached over and turned the tiny knob on the lantern, killing the light before settling down. There was quiet in the room, a gentle sort of comfort that had her dozing before long. "Today was nice," he murmured.

This surprised her. Rosliand had only told her that she knew someone who could benefit from writing and reading lessons, but it was only when she went back to Grandma Yunice's home after Kelial finished the chart did she find out that Rycen was Canas' student. She liked Rycen well enough, but she was concerned that his intensity would clash with Canas' more easygoing nature. "Was Rycen a good student?" she asked, propping her head up with her hand as she looked at the dark lump that was Canas' head.

"Er, he's rather dedicated to the task at hand, it seems," he answered. Lily had the feeling that, if he had his monocle on, he would be adjusting it right now. "I certainly would not mind a second lesson with him."

"That's good." To her surprise, she truly meant that. Whatever her doubts were, if he was handling everything well enough, that was good enough for her. 

Strange, that. Even though she was anxious to delve into her own research--in-between her other duties, of course--she felt unwilling to interfere with what he wanted to do. Even if that was part of the reason for their marriage, even if she still felt conflicting beliefs on what he wanted to do...well, he wasn't hurting anyone, was he?

She didn't dream that night; she rarely dreamt more than a few hazy images. When she woke up the next morning, Canas seemed to be sleeping fitfully. She contemplated on waking him, just in case he was having a nightmare, but then thought the idea silly. After all, the worst thing that he could be dreaming of would be teaching Rycen again, no matter his brave words.

Leaving him to his dreams, Lily began her day.

-to be continued-

And the story rolls on...

Story Note: In the Fiora/Geitz C support, Fiora mentions that Ilia suffered a famine years before because their crops died, which implies the land has been cultivated for farming. That's all well and good, but in FE6, Yuno talks to Zealot about how Ilia has _finally_ cultivated their land for crops. Did something happen in those twenty years that not only made the land revert to wildness, but also erase everyone's memory of the first cultivation?

With finals coming up, the next chapter may be delayed. Honestly, I don't know. I envy all the college students who've already had their finals. I'll do my best, as always, but if the next chapter isn't up by 12 PM Pacific May 24th, expect it on the 31st.

Also, if you're looking for a story with more action and with a faster pace, check out my other serial, _Legion of Honor_! The prologue is up, and while it isn't on a schedule, I can promise you that I'm currently writing the first chapter.

As always, thank you anonymous reviewers TheWatcherandReader and ceecee (who should be thanked for other reviews as well). I always appreciate reviews, and I really appreciate the fact that you're still reading!


	16. Requiem

Shadows Under the Oak Tree

(C) Intelligent Systems and Nintendo

-0-

16. Requiem  
(_Mother and child. The wilting flower._)

For the last two months, Canas had been plagued by nightmares.

There was little, if any, variation between the nightmares. Fangs of ice, with canines longer and thicker than icicles, snapped hungrily. He could see why it was hungry; only a darkness deeper and more foreboding than the night existed between the upper and lower mandibles. That was all there was to his nightmare, but he still woke up shivering, his night clothes sticking to him and a cold sweat lingering along his brow and neck.

It was waiting for him. He felt irrational for even thinking it, but what other choice did he have? It was beyond unusual for him to have such a frequent, insistent dream.

With his mind clouded from another night without rest, Canas trudged to the kitchen with Dark World: A Mage Cloaked By Darkness tucked under one arm. He had been perusing the tome Lily had given him for his birthday, hoping to find some sort of clue as to what he could do to cure his current condition. While the tome was generally coherent and at times enjoyable read, the author had never delved into elder magic enough to chance using it. 

After making a cup of tea out of their vastly diminished supply (he did not mind the deal Lily had made with Kelial, but the fact that she was slow in restocking was rather troubling at this point of his life), he made his way to the sitting room and settled down, his routine the only thing giving him a measure of comfort. He wished Lily was around, even if he was unwilling to confide to her about the nature of his dreams; he suspected that she would write them off as just another side effect of elder magic. True, it seemed to be the logical conclusion, but he did not think she needed another reason to maintain her prejudice against the magic he shied away from.

As he propped open the book with one hand and reached for a cup with the other, there was a knock at the door. _Strange_, he thought as he placed the tome on the table, _I don't recall asking Rycen to attend a session in the morning. After all, that's when he trains._ However, he was still unsure as he approached the door. The days seemed to blur into each other moreso than they did in the winter.

Mentally, he sighed when he opened the door and found his mother standing at the other side, an unreadable expression on her face. Perhaps it was a good thing Lily was occupied with matters outside their house, after all. Despite his own uncomfortable feelings, he attempted to smile. "Hello, Mother. It's a pleasant day, isn't it?"

She stared up at him with narrowed eyes. "You look ill. Isn't that woman you married taking care of you?"

"It is a bout of insomnia," Canas answered, and if his tone was a bit harsher than necessary she did not seem to care.

His mother only scoffed before her expression shifted into something he thought was more troubling--he was unable to decipher it at all. "I've something to tell you," she said, and he nearly flinched at her voice.

_Something is wrong._

He did not know how he knew this, but it felt true. His mother's face, voice...they were off-kilter to what he recognized as normal. Concerned now, he opened the door wider. "Please come in, Mother. Would you care for some tea?"

"I will not be long," she answered. There--there was that oddness again. Her inflection was flatter, more hollow? His mother had a dry tone in normal conversation, one that climbed upwards with anger and drifted downwards with good cheer. She never seemed to express sadness, not even when his brothers fell one by one to elder magic.

_That was to be expected_, he remembered her saying once, and he shivered.

"Ah." Gesturing to the couches, he moved to sit, but he was stopped by the hand on his forearm. He froze--when was the last time his mother had ever touched him? Ten, fifteen years ago? Slowly, his heart pounding onward like a legion of soldiers performing their morning march, he looked down at her, suddenly and unpleasantly wide awake.

She stared up at him. "Your father..." Her gaze drifted downward, then flashed up at his face again, something as cold and sad as steel in her lined features. "Your father passed away a few nights ago."

There were no words that could accurately describe the cacophony of emotions he felt at her words. For several quavering moments he did little more than stare at his mother, and it was all he could do to close his eyes and take deep, shaky breaths. "I...I see," he finally managed.

Soft pats on his arm jerked him out of his shock, and it only added to his confusion when he realized that his mother was attempting to comfort him. She gazed up at him, all sad wisdom and resigned strength, her long graying hair scattered over her shoulders and down the front of her dress like that mass of cobwebs in one corner of a boardinghouse room in Worde, and he was struck by how old she looked. _But she's only some thirty or so years older than myself_, he tried to reason with himself, but the small grain of unwanted knowledge buried itself deeper into his mind.

Even his mother, an accomplished druid and scholar, was growing older. One day, despite all that she had done in her life, she would simply pass on.

One day, he would too.

"What would you like me to do, Mother?" he asked, polite and humble and blank.

"Come with me and pay your last respects."

Right now? He had no desire to do such a thing presently. Really, he did not want to do anything at all. Feeling cornered, among all the other emotions tumbling through him, he looked away. "Please give me some time. If I were not here when Lily comes home, she would be..." Annoyed? Distraught? Surprised? Too busy to notice? None of these sounded quite right to him, so he wrapped his hands around his wrists and began to rub lightly. "Tomorrow would be better," he said, even though he truly doubted it.

Would it ever get better? Intellectually, he knew that humans were quite resilient, but presently he did not feel that it was a shared characteristic.

"I see," she said. "I will come tomorrow, then." Without any departing niceties, she left. He thought it was rather nice how that remained the same, if nothing else.

With the beginnings of a headache urging him along, he sat down. A sip of tea revealed that it had gone cold. He could relate. Reaching for his tome, he opened it and stared at the words. There were no answers to be found there.

He wondered if he had even known what the questions were in the first place.

-0-

Today had all the makings of a good day, Lily decided as she strolled through the village, her arms full with parcels. The delivery rider, a trainee pegasus knight with puffy lavender hair and a timid disposition that seemed out of place for a girl training to be a mercenary, had a saddlebag bulging with the items. If she was lucky, some of the rarer ingredients for vital medicines were included, and maybe some of her friends were finally talking to her again. It was far too close to winter to really worry about the latter, but it would've been nice.

Shuffling all the packages into the crook of her right arm, she jerked the door open with her left hand, neatly catching some of the boxes that threatened to fall as she jammed her foot in the door and shoved it open. As she walked inside, she noticed Canas at his usual place and smiled. "Hello!" she chirped as she walked past him. "Can you get the door for me?"

It was when she was in her workroom when she realized that Canas hadn't greeted her back. Mystified, as well as a bit worried, she left her parcels on the table and walked back to the sitting room. He was sitting in his usual spot, contentedly reading while the door was wide open. Rolling her eyes in irritation--_only he could read while the wind's blowing inside_, she grumbled to herself--she strode up to the door, shut it as loudly as possible (he didn't budge), and then approached him with a tight smile. "Hm? You don't even notice when your wife comes in and says hello?"

He raised his head, staring at her with eyes better suited in a corpse before a bolt of recognition brought the light of life into them. "Oh, Lily. How...how nice to see you. Have you had a good day?"

Raising an eyebrow in concern, she crossed her arms. "It's been good. What about you?"

"Well..." His shoulders lifted in a half-shrug as he looked down. "I have had better days."

"What do you mean?" she asked, crouching down in front of him so she could get a better look at his eyes. Indecision clouded his face, so she placed her hand on his knee and patted it a couple times. "Canas, did something happen?" she asked, using the same soothing tone she spoke with to her patients.

Canas looked at her, his normally kind eyes looking drained, dull. It hurt her to see him like this; this wasn't the Canas she knew, positive and kind and content, if not happy. _He should always be happy_, she thought as she gazed into his eyes, as if staring into them long enough would will him to normalcy. After a moment, he closed his eyes. It should have been a relief to not have to see the tainted emotions in his eyes, but instead she only felt shut out.

"Canas..." she started, unsure of what to say other than to keep the words flowing. He opened his eyes, looking no better than before.

"My mother briefly visited a short while ago," he stated, his voice soft. While Lily could understand how that fact would make him miserable, she decided to keep her comments to herself. "Ah...she had a reason for coming here," he continued, and suddenly she had a clear vision of what Lady Niime would have to say.

"Oh, she still doesn't approve of us, then?" Lily said, irritated.

He only looked at her, and she wondered when those dark circles under his eyes had appeared. She knew he hadn't been sleeping well, but was it that bad? And how could she not have noticed all along? "She doesn't, but that is...beside the point. That is to say..." His hands were wrapped around his wrists, long fingers massaging in a way that bothered her for a reason she couldn't explain. Lightly, she placed her hands on his and looked into his eyes and watched as his lips began to move again. "My father has passed away."

For what felt to her like the smallest eternity, she stared at him. As his words seeped into her mind, she did what was only natural; she reached out to him and hugged him tightly. So many people had done the same to her when her own parents died, offering the briefest amounts of comfort. She had needed it, even as she shut herself in and worked herself to forgetfulness.

But she never could forget.

He was different from her, peaceful and passive and uncomfortable with physical intimacy on most levels, but this was the only way she knew how to show him that she cared. She understood.

She was here for him.

As she held him, he did not move to embrace her in return; she didn't expect that. However, when she moved away from him, his eyes were closed, as if he were simply trying to absorb all he could in that moment. Keeping her hands on his shoulders, she watched him open his eyes, her heart thumping unexpectedly at the world-weary expression on his face. If only she could bring his father back to life, or prevented whatever had been the cause of death...

If only she could have done that for her own parents.

"Mother wants me to come back home--er, only for the day," he added in a rush of words as she frowned, "to pay my last respects."

She nodded. Even shamans...no. She shouldn't think of it that way. It was good to see that some rituals were universal. "I'll go with you," she said.

"Er...perhaps you shouldn't. Forgive me, but you have duties here, and I--"

"Am my husband." She took his face in her hands, marveling at the soft skin of his face, the angles of it all. "But more importantly, we're friends. Aren't we?" Staring at him pointedly until he nodded, she leaned in to hug him again. "If you don't want me to go, I won't," she whispered in his ear.

There was silence for a moment, and then, muffled against her shoulder, "Please come with me, if you're able to spare the time."

She smiled, biting her lower lip as her parents came to mind again. "Of course."

-0-

Canas fingered the hem of one of his sleeves as he and Lily waited in the sitting room for his mother to arrive. He could not claim a perfect state of mind--or even a normal one--but he was feeling much better. Watching Lily adjust the strap of her satchel, he smiled. Her affectionate nature was a sort of panacea that cured him of the depression that had settled over him, and even when she had left him alone for a period of time during the afternoon, he continued to feel relatively fine, all things considering.

And, when he did consider them, there _were_ worse fates than death.

There was a knock at the door, and Lily sighed as she stood up. "Time to go." She glanced down at him, her lips pursed in that way he knew meant she was somewhat bothered. "Are you ready?"

"Yes, of course." He stood, methodically straightening his clothes as he walked to the door. Lily's presence behind him was a minor relief as he opened the door. "Good morning, Mother," he greeted, somewhat bothered when his mother looked from him to past him with a twitch of her eyelashes.

"Good morning, Lady Niime," he heard Lily say, and his mother narrowed her eyes in response.

"I would have thought you had other duties to attend to."

"I've made arrangements. I'd like to be with Canas for this, if you don't mind. I've," her voice softened, "I've lost my parents only two years ago, so I understand."

An odd expression crossed his mother's face before she turned around. "Follow me, then," she ordered. Adjusting his monocle, Canas followed her into the chilly morning, Lycia would have near overwhelming heat at this time of year, he knew, but here his cheeks tingled with the cold. Lily caught up to him and matched his pace, her hand brushing against his. He was tempted, but there was no use in provoking his mother with such an intimate display.

For once in his life, he was inclined to actively discourage any chance of an argument between his mother and himself.

When they reached the area where Lily and himself had found the teleportation circle on their wedding day, his mother stopped and turned to them. "Teleporting two people at once is not a feat I want to try today. Child, come here," she said, gesturing to her side. He did so without preamble, curiosity overtaking any concerns he might have had. He had witnessed his brothers attempting teleportation and incurring terrible headaches instead, but he had never tried it himself.

HIs mother grasped his hand; in her other she held up her gnarled staff. Glancing at Lily, he noticed that her mouth was one thin line of an emotion that darkened her expression as she glared at the ground. Before he could voice his question as to her behavior, he noticed a weak glow emanating from the snow. If he stared hard at it, he could just make out a pattern--

The world swooped, twisted, and dived into itself. And what the world did, so did he.

With a whoosh of air that pummeled his face and chest, he collapsed onto a harder, more unforgiving ground. After retrieving his monocle, which he had thankfully not landed on, and righting himself, he felt that he still had all the essential parts that were crucial to his well-being. Under his fingers, there was the feel of ice-packed snow and stone, and he sighed. So many years away, and he could still identify his childhood home by the mountain's unique composition.

"Stand up," his mother ordered. He craned his neck to look over at her; she appeared unruffled and rather annoyed at him, though he was unsure why. As it were, he seemed to be building quite a portfolio of reasons. "And stay here. We will talk when I return."

The prospect of a conversation with his mother did not settle well with him. As she disappeared in a weak flash of light, he stood and looked around. He was on one of the higher ledges of Mount Themscyera, and he resisted the urge to look over the side to see if the distance between himself and the ground had changed in the years. Instead, he took notice of the small house nestled within a crook, buffering the building from the high winds at this altitude.

_Nothing has changed, has it?_ he asked himself, tearing his gaze away from his childhood home. _Inside will be much of the same.  
_  
He thought he would never return here again. All but made a vow to that effect, really. Yet, here he was, nearly eight years after the fact. The mountain walls provided some protection from the wind, but offered nothing for his feelings of discomfort.

No, nothing had changed.

It was Lily's cry of surprise that alerted him to his mother's return. When he turned around, he caught his mother staring at Lily with the most perplexed expression he had ever seen on her. Meanwhile, a crouching Lily was attempting to find something in her satchel. "...Girl, what are you doing?" his mother asked, looking as confused as he had ever seen her.

"Wait," Lily mumbled, before finding what she wanted. She ingested a quantity of it in the time it took for him to inhale, and took several deep breaths afterward. "I knew that we would have to teleport here, and I was uncertain of the aftereffects, and, well, I _am_ an herbalist." The last clause of her statement sounded a mite more challenging than what he would have preferred her to speak to his mother with, as his mother could be vindictive in the face of insults. This did not seem to be the case now, as he was surprised to notice something of...admiration in his mother's small smile.

With a spark of epiphany, Canas realized that his mother did not disapprove of Lily. Their marriage, perhaps (and probably), but not her.

Before he could make use of this information, his mother turned to him. There was nothing positive, or even the least bit welcoming, in her dark eyes. He had never known it until now, but it seemed that the human body was quite capable of liquifying at a moment's provocation. "Er, Lily, could you perhaps go inside, please?" he asked, not taking his eyes off his mother.

"...Sure," she said after a moment's pause. He heard the rhythmic crunch of her boots in the snow, the creaking of a door being forced open, and the ensuing click. Truthfully, it was a sequence that completed itself far more quickly than he would have preferred.

Then, he wished he had not said anything at all as his mother began to advance towards him. Once she was a few steps away, she lifted her walking stick and prodded him in the chest with it, eliciting a startled sound from him. "You will begin your studies immediately."

"Pardon?" he asked, genuinely confused. She prodded him harder.

"For years, I have allowed you to squander your talent in dark magic. I have watched you hobble along, all the while hoping you would claim your heritage. Instead, you've denied yourself time after time, married an anima user..." His mother lowered her staff, disgust evident on her face. "That woman will never allow you to reach your true potential. Is that why you chose her?"

Canas had been listening in a respectful manner, waiting for her to finish her tirade. It was the same argument again, updated to fit the times, and he had to admit he felt a measure of annoyance in enduring it today, of all days. "Mother, if I were unmarried and without prospects, you would find a way to use that as a viable argument. Attacking Lily, however true your claims may be, is inappropriate when we are discussing my own decisions." He looked away from her impassive countenance, bothered and weary of the discussion.

It was always the same conversation every time, no matter the country, or the weather, or whether his father was alive or not.

"You are the only one left." The words were so quiet that he was unsure if they had actually been spoken. "Your father is gone, your brothers may well never rise again. The way you've lived up to now makes me wonder if I had ever had you to begin with."

He shook his head. "I did have a certain fear for elder magic, having seen my brothers fall and Father so weakened after he committed himself to the reparations...yet, I still believed in its inherent goodness until I used it." A cold breeze brushed by him, and he shuddered at the memory of an icy darkness that rivaled nature itself.

"If you cared about goodness, you would've become an Eliminean," his mother replied, her tone harsh. "Child, nothing is good in this world. Your brothers fell because they thought they could control darkness. You run from even your own darkness, as if that would save you." Pursing her lips, she turned away from him. "It does not make you good to deny your own nature, only a coward."

"...Perhaps, but I--" His mother suddenly strode past him, towards the house. While his mother _was_ odd, she was never outrightly rude. "Er, Mother?"

"What is she doing?" he heard his mother ask. After a moment, she began to make her way towards the house as quickly as she could, all but tearing a path through the snow.

Confused, Canas followed.

-0-

Lily shivered as she entered the house, as if something had crawled down her back. Disconcerted, she looked around, taking note of the emptiness of the place. It felt hollow, with only a bare table between two low couches in the sitting room. She tried hard, very hard, to picture a younger Canas there, sitting between three similar-looking boys and smiling parents, but the image felt false.

_Didn't he say he wasn't close to his family?_ she asked herself as she walked past the barren furniture. _Was he the one left out, or were they all separate from each other?_

Glancing back, she stopped as she stared at the front door. On the other side were Canas and Lady Niime, who were having a conversation she wasn't allowed to witness. Son and mother, mother and son. What were they talking about? Was it really just a scene of a mother and son comforting each other after a loss? It was just as likely 'Come home Canas, you shouldn't be wasting your time with that woman?' Or maybe 'Why haven't you learned any dark magic?' Of course, that answer was mired in who Lily was, as well.

Irritation crept along the skin of her face, heating it up as she deliberately looked away from the door. She was proud of who she was, and even if she still respected Lady Niime she was finding it hard to actually like the woman. This house wasn't helping either; she twitched as she felt the tiniest pinch against the small of her back, then another one on the nape of her neck, just under her braid.

Thoroughly annoyed now, she looked around and spotted an open door on the other side of the room. As she stood in the door, she found it led to a corridor than ran parallel to the house, with doors leading to proper rooms on the opposite side of where she was. Her arms tingled, so she crossed them tight against her body, but then it felt as if something skittered across her face. She cursed as she brushed her face off, only to feel something race along her right hip. Even as her hand slapped her hip, she could feel something run along her lips, then enter her mouth--but there was nothing when she clamped her mouth shut.

In fear and panic, as something crawled up her calf while another explored the downward curve of her posterior, she made her magic cover her like a sheath. It was the same principle that was used to deflect magic attacks, but it still took her a while to realize that the crawling feelings had ceased.

_She hates me and this house hates me_, Lily thought in disgust as she wrapped her arms around her body. Maintaining a constant magical defense was tiring, but she didn't dare lean against the door frame; the house might come to life and eat her or something. Suppressing a snort, she looked down the hallway and discovered a partially-opened door. She wondered if it led to a privy and walked towards it. It seemed to become darker the further she walked, but she paid that no mind--there were no lights, after all. However, it was harder to explain the chilly air that swept past her, causing bumps to rise along her covered arms.

Her head began to throb, a slow prodding that made her wish she had packed a concoction to relieve headaches. She could predict nausea, but not the fact that this house was putting a lot of stress on her. Canas had never mentioned anything like this, though she supposed she would have thought it was a joke if he had. Reaching the door, all the while vowing never to come back, she peered inside, then stumbled backwards at the sight.

There were bodies in there.

Disgust roiled inside her--_what is that what is that_--before she remembered that Canas had brothers. _Were those...them?_ she asked herself, hoping against hope that they were. Otherwise, she was going to leave right this moment and never have anything to do with this family again. Gathering her courage, she peered inside again.

There were three men on beds that looked like nothing more than long, wooden slants piled to about knee height. They all had different shades of purple hair, from plum to lavender to a dusky color that reminded her of Mina back at the village. Their features appeared to be formed from wax, their color was so pale. Two of them stared blankly at the ceiling, while the youngest-looking one had his eyes closed.

_Is that...how they'll always be from now on? Wax dolls that breathe...do they know what they're looking at? All because of dark magic. How could Canas defend it at one time when he's seen his brothers like this?_

Vague emotions swirled inside of her as she took a step back, intending on going back to the sitting room and staying there. A floorboard creaked under her foot, causing the eldest brother to look directly into her eyes.

And she was lost.

-to be continued-

Sorry for the cliffhanger, but hey, it was getting boring to have a definite end for each chapter. Besides, in the original way I had set this chapter up, it seems that I would have around 20 pages altogether, and that's a bit much.

Anonymous reader thank-yous go to TheWatcherandReader. I gratefully accept all feedback, but will not push for it. If you've gotten this far and still want more, that's the greatest compliment for a writer. Thank you for reading!


	17. Light

Shadows Under the Oak Tree

(C) Intelligent Systems and Nintendo

-0-

17. Light  
(_Taking chances. Thawing ice._)

Canas did not like to run.

Not only did he dislike high velocity ambulatory movements, he was also generally not fond of running into a situation that he had less than no information about. Exceptions were made for dangerous situations, such as the time in Worde when the home of the local blacksmith caught on fire and everyone in the village assisted by hastening to the nearby river with whatever containers they could find at home. Though, he supposed, it was very obvious as to what the problem had been then; houses on fire at night were rather conspicuous.

The only reason he thought of fire when he entered his childhood home was because he smelled smoke.

With one hand clutching his chest, Canas followed his mother through the sitting room, internally wincing when his mother hobbled determinedly towards the back hallway. _Where is Lily_, he wondered, _why would she wander there?_ His mother had been with him and his father was dead and had most likely already been taken care of; only his brothers would be there now.

He heard his mother gasp, but before he could inquire as to the reason why, he entered the hallway and saw Lily. Lily, who was pointing towards his brothers' room.

Lily, who was pointing towards his brothers' room as flames trembled at the tip of her index finger.

While he stared at her, unable to fully comprehend what he was seeing, Niime walked up to what he considered was a respectful distance away from her. His mother raised her walking stick and Canas froze, expecting to see his mother attack his...his wife.

Should he stop her? Which 'her' was he supposed to restrain?

"You can calm down now," he heard his mother say softly. "It's all right. He was only frightened."

The fire seemed to dissipate into wisps of smoke, curling in the air as Lily turned to look at them. Anything that Canas had to say died in his throat at the view of her pale face, a stricken expression distorting her lovely features. He could only stare at her, unable to even decipher what had occurred.

Slowly, her hands covered her mouth. "I'm so--" she began to rasp, but then his mother lowered her staff.

"I understand. Now go," his mother said, not unkindly. Without a word, Lily ran past them and, presumably, out the door. His mother walked around, stamping down on the little embers that had floated down from Lily's hands, her expression as blasé as if she regularly performed such an act.

"Mother?" Canas queried, deciding to give Lily a moment alone. His mother looked up at him, her face a perfect mask of disinterest. "What just happened? I understand what I witnessed, only I am unsure how you reached the conclusion that you did."

She stared at him, looking utterly bored. "I read her aura for the information. Her fear from your brother's attack was nearly blinding." This was a perfectly acceptable explanation and the appropriate thing would be to turn around and find Lily, but suddenly there were emotions on his mother's face that rooted him to the spot. "You can read auras, can't you?"

There was a little feeling in the back of his mind that warned him that the truth might not be the best response, but he was unable to lie. That is, he could not even begin the process of fabricating an answer while he was suddenly so very worried about her reaction to the truth. "Erm, no, not really," he said, wishing he had never opened his mouth in the first place.

"Hm." His mother's expression did not immediately change. "Well, that's not altogether a horrible thing for a shaman to say." He winced, knowing she had noticed the movement. Even so, her face was frighteningly neutral. "It would only be horrible if you followed that with admitting that you could not see auras in the first place."

Canas flinched. He could See, of course...but he was so many years out of practice that he might as well have been blind.

"Of course," she said, her voice hardening, "you are not going to admit that because you should be able to. Anyone who has used magic can, with practice. I taught you as a child, and I expect you to remember my lessons."

His sense of survival warred with his honesty, compelling him to compromise with an, "Er, I see." By the sudden spike of anger tearing through his mother's face, that was profoundly the wrong answer. Though, he suspected, anything other than a resounding agreement was the wrong answer.

Raising her staff, she pointed past him. "Get out."

Yes, it certainly did appear to be the wrong answer. "...Mother?" he asked, worried for her health. Once, she had been so angry about a stunt his eldest brother pulled that she ended up bedridden with a terrible headache. Well, now that he remembered it, so did his brother, which caused him to watch the staff in precaution.

"I can't believe this," she snarled. "Canas, even children can see auras! Even if you've been studying among mages, you should know how to do that much! Did you just forget everything I ever taught you?"

He raised his hands in a placating manner. "Er, no, of course not. I do remember, Mother."

"Then why..." She stopped suddenly, which worried Canas more than anything else. His mother was odd, but she was usually predictable once she went on a tirade. She had never stopped before. "No. I will not have this conversation with you again. For your entire life, you have proven yourself to be utterly incapable of doing anything I say. I have enough on my mind without the fact that I've apparently raised such a useless, inconsiderate son among your brothers."

Looking away, Canas said nothing. While normally he could take his mother's more acerbic comments in stride, the current stresses in his life made her barbs feel like blades. "Mother, would you like me to leave you alone?"

She was staring at him when he glanced back at her, curious at her lack of an immediate answer. There was anger on her face, but there was also something that he disliked, something that made him feel ashamed. After a moment, she simply turned around and walked to her room.

He thought she would. She looked so tired.

-0-

_Ohpleaseohpleaseohpleasenonono--_

Trembling, Lily leaned over the side of the cliff as her stomach heaved. As she gulped down the thin mountain air, hoping to stave off her body's need to purge itself, she tried not to think. Not about brothers, not about magic, not about fear. Her fingers dug uselessly into the snow, the tips of her fingers rubbing against the snow as she forced herself to only exist to breathe. After what seemed to her like a long time, the unease of her stomach quelled enough that she could wrap her arms around her waist. She began to rock herself as a mother would a baby, her head lowered as tears streamed down her face.

_This isn't my fear_, she told herself as her body began to shake. _It's just a reaction from using magic without a tome anywhere in sight. It's his fear, not mine, not mine, not mine._ She closed her eyes and lowered her head, gritting her teeth as she shook her head in staunch denial.

_I'm fine now, really. I've got to--this isn't like me, stop being so weak..._

It was the first crunching step that shook her from her delirium, that made her body shake even harder. Each step, louder than the last, seemed to imprint fear even though she knew in her mind that it had to be Canas, only Canas, just sweet and kind Canas whose eyes did not lead to a place where shadows clung like thick, dripping cobwebs.

"Lily?" he called. Her body flinched even as her mind welcomed his presence. She wanted to respond, wanted to reach out to him, but the irrational terror that gripped her body strangled her even as she opened her mouth. So she stayed as she was, huddled into herself, all the while desperately needing.

It was his fear, not hers. It had nothing to do with her other than the fact it had sunk so deep into her bones that she would never forget it.

Really.

His footsteps crunched nearer, and she had to thank him for being so curious as her body cringed at the idea. "Lily, are you all right?" he asked from just behind her. When she was unable to respond, she could hear him crouch down onto the snow. There seemed to be a pause, a fundamental shift in time that nudged at her, before she felt his fingers on her shoulder. Something inside of her immediately calmed at his touch; she always felt better when she was being touched or touching someone.

Before he could say her name again, she turned to face him in a series of hesitant, twitchy movements. His eyes went wide when she looked at him, and she thought she couldn't blame him; she felt every inch of the mess she imagined she looked. "W-what's wrong?" he asked, his eyes still comically wide with worry.

She lowered her eyes, struggled against the fear that had clenched her throat, and said what she had wanted to say to Lady Niime. "I'm so sorry."

"S-sorry? Whatever for?" he asked, the picture of confused innocence. The fact that he wasn't trying to get something out of her--something she didn't want to give, anyway--was comforting in its own way.

With a twitch of her lips, she pretended that she felt like smiling. "I disturbed your brother."

He frowned. "Forgive me, but I rather think that he...disturbed you as well," and his words touched her because they didn't feel as if he was blaming her. She figured she would get a lot of that later, when she intended to talk to Lady Niime. Because of that, she moved up to him and placed her head against his chest and tried not to wonder if he had just stopped breathing for a moment there.

"It's not me," she said, and for the first time she halfway believed herself. "He was so afraid, so he reacted in the only way he could."

"Lily." The way Canas said her name had a measure of reproach in it. "I may have related this to you before, but my brothers are...incapable of reactions apparent in a sentient being. They're...simply unable to."

"You're wrong," she breathed, trembling again. She knew just how wrong he was. There, in that moment, all she had felt was raw, unfiltered emotion. Fear. "Anybody can feel without thinking. If someone hit you, would you have to think to realize you were in pain?"

It was quiet for a moment. "Ah, I see," he finally offered. "But...you did nothing of the sort, correct? So, I don't quite understand..."

"He looked at me and didn't recognize me, I think. I felt him for a moment, staring into my aura. I think that the only people he would have known were your mother and father." She glanced up at him, a fleeting regret that she had mentioned his father. He hadn't reacted too much in the wake of finding out about his father's death, but she was sorry all the same.

He closed his eyes. "And Father is gone."

It hurt, not knowing what to do. Reaching around, she held him because he didn't seem to react badly to that. After a moment, she felt his chin on top of her head. Were there any words she could say that didn't sound trite and stupid at a moment like this? 'It'll be okay.' 'They would want us to move on.' 'We'll always have them in our memories.'

They were nice words, words that could even come true in the future, but for now they were only words.

"I am regretting coming here," he whispered. "I...in hindsight, this seems to have been a bad idea."

That was a statement she could support, but something in his voice worried her. "Why do you say that?" she asked, moving so that she could sit next to him. It was easier to see his face that way; right now, he looked troubled. She figured that meant he either had an unpleasant talk with his mother, or her incident affected everyone worse than she thought "You came here to give your final respects to your father," she reminded him, feeling very guilty.

Shrugging, Canas removed his monocle to rub at his eye, looking drained and something else, something unusual for him. It was so unusual that she couldn't figure out what it was. "Yes, that was what my mother had claimed."

The brevity of his reply made her twist her mouth in irritation at both mother and son. His poor father, whose spirit was surely watching over them, was being disrespected by his living, conscious family. "Then, let's remember him," she decided out loud. Maybe it would help Canas in a way that she couldn't expect to. "Canas, what is the one thing that stands out the most when you remember him?"

"Er..." He looked at her and must have realized just how serious she was, as his expression changed from bewilderment to something that resembled thinking. "Well...hm. I'm afraid our last talk was many years ago," he said, putting the monocle back in place and endlessly adjusting it. "And we were never very close. He was always researching the next step in elder magic, I do remember that."

"Oh. So you're closer to your mother, then?"

"Not especially...I would say that she was just the one to whom the burden of child-rearing fell to. She was...the more obvious parent." He stopped touching the monocle and gave her a sheepish look. "Forgive me, it must sound strange."

She smiled, more for his sake than her own. "Why are you saying that? You're not to blame for your parents' ability in raising children. And I'm sure there's something. The two of you didn't spend how many years together never interacting, right?"

"Yes, that's true..." His eyes lit up suddenly, then he began to look very flustered. "Well, come to think of it, I do recall something."

"What is it?" she asked, grinning as she leaned into him. His face began to redden as he looked down into his lap. "Oh, it's something embarrassing, isn't it? I shouldn't ask then. You should keep it to yourself."

A smile broke out on his face, and she thought it was despite himself. "It isn't--it's probably just a little strange to relate to anyone, especially a woman, but..." He touched his face, using his index finger to sweep down over one side. The gesture fascinated her, as it was the first time he used one that wasn't him adjusting his monocle. "You see, he taught me how to shave."

She couldn't help it; a giggle escaped from her before she could cover her mouth. "That's so cute," she said, glancing at him to make sure she hadn't offended him. He was still looking sheepish, but his smile remained. "My mother taught me how to make little breaded sweets," she confided, grinning at the interest lighting up his eyes.

"Oh, that sounds nice. Do you still remember..."

"Of course." Placing her hand on his shoulder, she leaned against him and looked out in the distance, where everything was dusted white with snow. "I'll make some when we get home."

"We probably should return home soon, actually," he murmured.

Shaking her head, she stood up and stretched her arms up over her head. "No, there's something I..." She touched her satchel and glanced at the inoffensive little house nestled in the crook on the mountain. A part of her shuddered to think of going inside, not to talk of going ahead with her plans, but she turned to him and smiled in what she felt was a reassuring manner. "I'd like to talk to your mother."

There was worry on his face, but he nodded. "As you like, although I'm afraid she may be...erm, well, she wasn't in the best mood when I left her." He stood and, to her surprise, held out a hand to her. "There's something I'd like to investigate for myself as well," he said, smiling slightly.

Even with the fear building inside her, her smile felt genuine when she took his hand.

-0-

The truth was this: Canas had no interest in seeing his brothers again.

Yet here he was, standing at the doorway of the room he had lived in before he had finally been given permission to attempt his own journey. His brothers were all on their respective beds, no different than they had been eight years ago, when he had left this room without glancing back. His own bed remained undisturbed, and he stared at it for some time before he forced himself to cease examining it.

It had always been a fear of his that one day he would find himself here, in the same state as his elder brothers, unable to do more than to simply let time pass him by. Unable to do anything at all, whether it was to study, or take a walk, or teach, or even that small pleasure of lying in bed and thinking in the predawn darkness. Now...now he could do all that and more, but to have that he had turned away from his heritage.

Here, with the brothers he had barely known, he could admit that. Despite years of defending elder magic, he had been afraid of using it. His only wish had been to live a simple life, full of tomes and scrolls, mornings and evenings and everything in-between. He could admit that because he was the only one standing, the only one even capable of the consciousness required in doing so.

With a sigh, he entered the room, walking with a soft gait that had taken him two years to unlearn at the behest of an acquaintance at Aquleia's grand library, who said that it had resembled the walk of a thief. Yet, even though he knew they would remain undisturbed, he could not help himself. There were bookcases in the room, between each bed and along the back wall, and Lily had wanted to talk to his mother in private.

Ah, his mother. The image of her face, strained with a mixture of anger and fatigue, seemed to be imprinted in his mind. He stopped in front of the bookshelves in the back of the room and tried to focus on the words of the spines of the tomes, but his mother's face was still there, more vivid than anything else he could visually recall.

_I am a disappointment to Mother.  
_  
It hurt to think that because it was true in a way that could not be rationalized away. He had seen it there amid the frustration that lined her face, had always seen it there, growing throughout the years until her patience had finally evaporated. He was as useless as a shaman-in-perpetual-training who had somehow managed to invoke the elder magic only once in eight years could be. He was a scholar of magic who denied his own so-called talent.

_But I could still learn to use it._

As soon as he thought that, he grimaced and selected a tome at random. Spell Constructs, Volume 1 was written in curving letters on the spine, and he forced himself to remember that elder magic relied on the creation of mental and physical constructs to invoke the spells. It was harder than light or anima, if only because one's focus on creating the exact same spell image meant the difference between living or inadvertently releasing rogue energies that were just as willing to lash out at the user as they were his enemies. That was not to talk of how difficult it was to maintain the image while the energies were still in this plane of existence

That was why he had fallen that first time.

"But what would I do with it?" he asked himself in a whisper. He was quite content as he was, living in Corinth with Lily. Although bringing it up in conversation seemed somewhat impertinent, he was certainly not adverse to fatherhood and the responsibilities that would entail. In such an environment, what need would he have for the destructive energies of elder magic?

Yet, Lily used magic. Her own talents encouraged her to use them daily, and not just to protect the village. She warmed the blankets when the night was cold, and she always took some time out of her busy schedule to commune with the nature spirits. But Lily was an anomaly, and even so, she still used her abilities in the way they were originally designed for. The idea of using elder magic to defend the village seemed a good one to him, but he knew that Lily would vehemently disapprove after the last time.

He turned to his brothers. "What did you use it for?" he asked them, already knowing the answer. There was no 'what', nor was there a 'why' or any other of those bothersome questions. They learned what was expected of them, and the only reason why he had escaped much of that was because he was the youngest.

_Perhaps if I had questions to answer, if there was something I was seeking that required the use of elder magic...surely I could learn for that purpose. Not to cast it, not for power, but to use its structure to enhance my understanding of current inquiries and perphaps even solve them...  
_

That was all right, was it not? He would not be learning for his mother's sake, because he had never done such a thing before. For the sake of knowledge, because he was a scholar and to push away knowledge was anathema to him...yes, this was fine. Maybe it was because they had learned to use elder magic because it was what their family did that his brothers had fallen. And maybe, just maybe, he could prove to himself once and for all that elder magic could be used for beneficial purposes.

And, if he was very lucky, his body would not occupy the last bed in the room.

-0-

How does one go about apologizing for nearly killing another's comatose son?

Lily didn't think it was by telling Lady Niime that she hadn't brought a tome with her, and it probably would've killed her to actually let loose with even just Fire. There was something about revealing her weaknesses surrounding her learned ability that made Lily edgy; the skill wasn't so much of a secret as it was a concept that no one, save Canas, could even twist their mind around, and in some ways that was perfectly all right. And, while Lady Niime had been very kind to her earlier, Lily didn't think that magnanimous streak was going to last very long. Held down by indecision, she sat down in the sitting room and thought that Canas might have been right about not coming here.

While she brooded, she heard the low creaking sound of a door opening and thought it might be Canas, who had said that he would give her some space while she talked to his mother. Instead, Lady Niime herself entered. Without even seeming to notice Lily, she sat down on the other side of the table with a tome, the title of which was in a language Lily had never seen before.

Feeling as if she was walking off of a cliff, Lily said, "Um, Lady Niime...?" With a sigh, the other woman raised her head and looked at her. Somewhat put off by the sigh (what did _that_ mean, Lily wondered), she decided to make her apology as short as possible. "I'm very sorry for my rudeness in your home. Please be assured that I never meant for any of it to happen."

Lady Niime stared at her, one eyebrow arched imperiously high. "What makes you think such a simple apology will put you in my good graces?"

In all her years, Lily had never been told something so insulting as that. In Ilia, all anyone truly had was their self-worth and integrity. To have her apology brushed off so rudely showed her just how little Lady Niime thought of her, and her pride reared its head in response. "Well, Lady Niime, I had never expected to be in your good graces in the first place," she replied, her tone as brittle as the ice that frosted over her bedroom window in the morning.

"Hm." Inexplicably, Lady Niime smiled. "I see that you're as healthy as always. You've recovered quickly."

It took Lily a moment to realize that the topic of conversation had changed. "Oh, well, yes, I feel much better now," she said before she realized the implication behind Lady Niime's words; namely, that she expected Lily to be rude and short-tempered. Lily sighed; there was just no way she could win. "Thank you for your kindness," she continued, more out of politeness than anything else.

Lady Niime nodded and returned her attention to her tome. Lily sat there, feeling like an idiot.

_This...wasn't what I wanted at all_, Lily thought to herself as she stared at her lap. _I wanted to somehow make a bridge between the two of us. I want to be on friendly terms with her, since we're now family. It doesn't feel right to me to leave things like this. Even with our differences, even if I don't like her too much...can't that change?_ She glanced at her satchel.

_If I want change, I'll have to make the first move.  
_  
"Um, Lady Niime, I..." Lady Niime looked up from her tome, her expression one of boredom. Unsure at how to take that, Lily looked away, busying herself with opening her satchel and pulling out a wrapped package as she talked. "I don't really know if you know this ritual...it's one we'll all have to take part in, and I found it a bit comforting..." She laid the package onto the table and looked at Lady Niime.

"Well then, what is it?" the elder woman said with a hint of impatience.

Lily took a deep breath. "When someone dies, it's our burden to take the body of our loved ones and cast them into the ocean." Briefly, she wondered if Lady Niime had done that already, but left the thought alone. "We don't have a place to mourn...well, I do, but maybe having a spot to go to is its own burden. That's why we make these." She opened the package, revealing a row of hard biscuits.

Lady Niime raised an eyebrow. "And they are?"

_I guess Corinth's customs aren't very widespread_, Lily thought. "Oh, these are supposed to symbolize the bodies of our loved ones. We eat them so as to take our loved ones into ourselves, because we can never have their real bodies here. This way, we assure the spirits that...that we'll never forget them."

As Lily expected, Lady Niime did not make a move to accept her offering. Swallowing her disappointment, she said, "I made these because I know that Canas isn't the only one who lost family..." She wanted to say more, to talk about the hopes she had for their relationship in future and how sorry she was that Lady Niime had to go through such a loss, but instead she said nothing at all.

In the end, it was Lady Niime's decision to make. She may have been Ilia's most powerful magic user and Canas' mother, but Lily was already tired of feeling so hateful around the elder woman.

After some time, Lady Niime reached over and took one of the biscuits.

-to be continued-

And to think, this chapter and the last were supposed to be one chapter! It's much better like this, don't you think?

Hm, no anonymous reviewers this time! I might have forgotten to thank someone who sent in a review from a method other than FFN's review system, and if so, thank you very much! Thank you for reading, and as always, I accept and enjoy all forms of feedback. See you next chapter!


	18. Moving Forward

Shadows Under the Oak Tree

(C) Intelligent Systems and Nintendo

-0-

18. Moving Forward  
(_Red snow. Blooming anger._)

Canas felt the weight of Lily's gaze on him as if it were a bookshelf full of tomes. It was difficult to describe just how he knew that she was staring at him when he could clearly hear the telltale 'clicking' of her knitting needles as she worked on an object that had once held promise as a scarf but defied her good intentions, but it was a fact that he could not deny. Indeed, it was of little worth to do so, because every time he looked up she was gazing at him with emotions he could not decipher but felt guilty for anyway. 

With an exhale that was very nearly a sigh, he turned the page of his untitled tome and tried to ignore that feeling until he could find a morsel of knowledge with which he could interest her. Sometime between telling her that he was going to further his studies in elder magic and now, six months later, he had discovered that a good way to distract her from her ongoing campaign was to familiarize her with the concepts of elder magic. However, he thought it would be nice if she would be more willing to hold a discussion on said concepts; they could talk for hours about anima magic, but it was inevitable she would recall a neglected chore if he invoked too many instances of elder magic application.

It seemed unfair to him, but he continued to remain optimistic.

While trying to decide if he should introduce her to the history of using a warding circle to protect the shaman from the backlash of summoning dark energies, with an option to relate it to the spell sigils of anima, there was a knock at the door. Before he could react Lily was already on her feet. Figuring it had nothing to do with him--the current erratic snowstorm made scheduling lessons with Rycen rather difficult--he tried to regain some of the concentration he had lost from Lily's silent attention.

"You're needed."

He recognized Rosliand's voice and tensed in response. Bandits were more of a problem this winter than before. Lily had explained once that most of the Union engaged in missions during the winter, which made the country more vulnerable to brigand attacks, but even she admitted that the increasing frequency--she had fought six different groups since the Festival of the Ice Dragon--was bothering her.

He had once stated a desire to assist her months ago, but she had made it clear in no uncertain terms that she would not appreciate it.

"Another attack?" Lily asked, sounding tired. He turned his head slightly, somewhat anxious. She usually sounded fully ready and capable when the time came to protect the village.

"No. Your presence has been requested at Lady Yunice's."

"Not by Grandma?"

"No." Lily, who had been blocking the opening of the door, moved back to take her cloak from the door hook, enabling him to see Rosliand. She saw him too and nodded. "Mister Canas, you look well."

He certainly felt it; whatever Lily's ambivalence towards the magic he was studying, she was still devoted as ever in making sure he ate. Actually, now that he thought of it, she was a bit more focused on that than in past winters. "Ah, yes, thank you. You do as well," he said with a smile.

Lily looked over at him while she tied her cloak closed. "You'll be fine?" she asked.

"Er, yes, of course," he answered, somewhat confused by the intense look she was giving him. After a moment more, in which he felt the urge to duck his head down, she turned and left the house.

_What can be done to assuage her fears?_ he wondered, still confused even as he returned his attention to his tome. _I would admit to some hesitance towards elder magic myself, but Lily is...overly cautious, as well as prejudiced against it._

_Surely there must be something I can do..._

-0-

Lily was worried.

_I wish there was something I could do_. Some way to reason with him, she thought as she trudged through the snow. These thoughts had been in her mind since the day he had opened his mouth and said the one thing she didn't need to hear, especially just a few days after they had returned from Mount Themscyera.

_I've decided to devote myself to the study of elder magic. I believe it to be possible that there are useful, beneficial applications for it...I truly do._

She couldn't. How could she when she had seen his brothers? How could _he_ when he had seen his brothers fall? And even if he was doing well with it now, what would happen once he started in earnest to invite darkness into him? Would there be a time when darkness would be all that was left?

"What's wrong?"

Snapping to attention, Lily only relaxed slightly when she realized it was Rosliand who was beside her. If it had been Tinae, she would be endlessly needled until she revealed her fears, and then she would probably have to restrain her friend from doing something like putting arrows into all of Canas' books. Occasionally she had the same idea--those tomes were thick enough to serve as a good substitute for firewood--but no matter how frustrated she felt, she couldn't do that to him.

Just like any good bride, she had drank from the nuptial cup filled with bitter water. Did she really expect any different from her marriage?

Lily smiled and shook her head. "It's nothing. I'll learn to live with it," she said, more to soothe herself than her friend. Rosliand stared at her for a few steps, then nodded.

"I heard Mina is interested in having Rachel learn to read."

"Really?" Lily frowned, running a hand down her hair. "But she only reached her sixth cycle last month. That seems a little young."

"It is, but she can ask Tinae to watch Rachel while taking care of the baby only so many times. It might prove an interesting challenge for him."

"Hm. I'll ask Mina at her baby's naming party next month." Stretching her arms upward, she yawned even though she felt wide awake. The crisp air was good at waking her mind up; she hated knitting but lately she had felt compelled. She just wished Canas would stop looking at her scarf like it was strange. It was as if he had never seen one before...even if it was a little long. Something occurred to her and she covered her mouth with one hand in surprise. "Next month...oh, wow, I'll have been married for a year next month."

With a soft lilt that no one would ever think to associate with the ex-scout, Rosliand began to laugh. "Time is the greatest thief, isn't it?" With a grin, she walked up to Grandma Yunice's door and held it open. "This shouldn't take long."

Bemused, Lily entered the house, her footsteps loud against the wood floor. She heard voices, but they stopped as she reached the sitting room. Grandma Yunice was sitting in one of the couches, but she stood as Lily walked over to her. "Lily, thank you for coming," and the way it was said made Lily pause for a moment. It sounded so...official.

"Thank you for inviting me," she said, warmth mixed into the polite saying, glancing at the other person in the room. It was a middle-aged woman with long strands of fine violet hair settling over her dress like mist. Her face looked similar to Grandma Yunice's, and Lily wondered if they were related.

"My cousin's been bragging about her village's guardian, so I simply had to see you for myself," the woman said as she stood up and reached towards Lily with wide arms, which made Lily uncomfortable. "Dear, won't you come closer?"

Lily did so, trying to keep her expression pleasant and neutral; she wasn't sure what the woman wanted, although for all she knew it was a greeting common to the woman's village. Ilians were Ilians, but those who were not of the Union tended to live out their lives in the same village they were born into; it was rare for a villager to go to a neighboring village for assistance rather than contacting the Union directly.

It was winter. Canas aside, no native-born Ilian would think to defy nature. They knew their place.

With these thoughts in her mind, Lily was unpleasantly surprised when the woman clasped her forearms with bony hands. "My name is Cione, of Lamia. I've come because I wish to talk to you about a very important matter."

Politeness warred with the odd feeling she was getting from the woman; even Lady Niime hadn't been so bad until she had started asking about secrets she shouldn't have known about. "Lily, of Corinth. It's a pleasure." She shook her arms out of Cione's grip and took a step back to bow, hoping that the gesture covered her rudeness well. "I don't know what I can help you with, though."

"You would be surprised, little Lily," Cione said as she rubbed her hands together, making a dry, whispery sound. That made sense to Lily; even with protection, traveling through the snow and dry, chilly winds wouldn't help anyone's skin, and Lamia was a good five days south of Corinth. It was also said to be much larger than the hamlet that Corinth was; she'd heard they had establishments like an armory and even an inn.

Corinth had a mountain. There was really no comparing the two.

_Ah, that's what it is. No wonder I don't feel right_, Lily thought as she tried to smile. _If she could make it here, she could go to a village with far more resources. But she came here to see...me? Canas, at least, came to see my parents, who were actually well-known. Myself...not so much._

Cione held up a hand to Lily before turning to face Grandma Yunice. "Cousin, I'm sorry, but I would like to talk to Lily alone," she said. Lily opened her mouth, affronted; anything that could be said to her could be said in front of Grandma Yunice. But, when she glanced at Grandma Yunice, the elder woman had bowed her head.

"As you like, Cione." Grandma Yunice turned to the entrance of the sitting room, a movement Lily followed; Rosliand was leaning against the entrance way frame, her arms crossed and her eyes narrowed. Lily wondered if Rosliand felt the same, but before her gaze met Rosliand's, Grandma Yunice said, "Why don't you come with me, Rosliand? You could talk to Rycen. He's been very proud of his reading skills as of late."

Rosliand nodded, moving to follow Grandma Yunice without a glance at Lily. Within moments, Lily was alone with Cione. Reaching out, Cione curled a hand over Lily's wrist. "Why don't you come sit beside me, dear, and we can talk."

"A-about what?" Lily asked, conflicting emotions tumbling through her stomach. She hated the way this woman touched her, like she was something to grab and pull around. She wasn't luggage, after all. Cione smiled.

"Ilia's future, my dear. Ilia's future, and how to protect it."

-0-

During Canas' first year in Etruria, an instructor of magic told his class something that Canas would never forget.

_Consider the schools of magic as this: Light magic is emotion, anima reason, and dark magic that of intellect. What they are is what is needed to become fully proficient in them.  
_  
It was certainly true from Canas' understanding of elder magic. Without proper and continuous study, even a single use of elder magic was, quite frankly, suicidal. It was more than simply mentally regurgitating the identical image of the construct needed to hold the energies of the particular spell; one had to activate the spell the right way every time with the right sequence of spellwords...except that elder magic, in this regard alone, was fluid. The energies were constantly shifting at the mere thought of being released, making even a simple Flux spell a mercurial nightmare during a long battle.

That, Canas knew all too well.

As he mentally tried to form the construct necessary to hold a Flux spell together, the door opened. "Hello, Lily. I suppose the reason you were needed was minor?" he inquired as he concentrated on 'drawing' the image.

"You know, you've really got to stop mistaking me for a woman."

The image pulled apart in the exact same way as he had seen Lily pull apart the threads in her scarf--she did that a lot, he had noticed--as he turned his head towards the door. Kelial stood there, appearing somewhat perturbed as he looked around the sitting room. "Oh! Er, forgive me. I...hadn't realized you were there," Canas said, surprised. Lily was wont to go to Kelial, not the other way around.

"Yeah, well, obviously," Kelial said, smiling. The words, coupled with the tilted smile, confused Canas for a moment before he realized Lily had a similar way of making a joke. "Hey, so is Lily working right now?" Kelial took a step forward, and Canas could see that the other man was leaning heavily on an oaken walking stick.

"Er, no, she's currently at Lady Yunice's home. I...had the feeling it was over a matter of little importance, and that she would return soon."

"Hm. Well, I guess I better..." Canas patiently waited for the rest of the sentence as Kelial turned towards the door, but then Kelial glanced down at him with a frown. After a moment, Kelial shrugged. "Actually, I'll just wait here for Lily. The snow's kinda bad and I ran out of all that tea Lily gave me."

Canas stood at the word 'tea'. "Certainly," he said, smiling. "Is it still snowing? I believe Lily informed me yesterday that the current storm would calm by this morning."

Kelial's brow creased as he seemed to grimace, both signs that fit in Canas' facial expression recognition as 'I said something I should not have.' "It's not snowing," the other man stated, prompting Canas to open his mouth to inquire further...and then Kelial began tapping his cane against the floor and Canas understood.

"Ah," he said instead, and retreated to the kitchen.

It was later, when they were seated on opposite sides of the table and indulging in a rather delightful raspberry leaf blend, that it occurred to Canas that he knew very little about the man who was apparently one of Lily's closest friends. He knew that Kelial was a knight from Bern, an artist, and had limited use of his left leg. There also seemed to be a bit of hostility from Kelial towards Etrurians--understandable considering his Bern heritage--but other than that, he seemed to be fairly decent.

_I'm just saying that it's just weird for her to just marry this guy. I mean--ha ha--if she's going to marry any guy who stays in her house for a good while, she might as well have just married me._

It was curiosity that urged Canas on, just simple interest towards the man who admitted...that. Even though Kelial had immediately refuted any interest other than the platonic towards Lily. Not that he could claim any right to know anything about Kelial, but rather...well, it was curiosity.

Truly.

"Ah...Kelial? Forgive me if this question is intrusive, but, er...you are from Bern, correct? How...how is it that you arrived here?" Canas watched Kelial's face as he asked, hoping that his question had not offended the man.

Kelial smiled broadly. "Woah, that's a bit personal, but okay. I guess anyone that cares already knows, though Lily's a better storyteller than good ol' me." He laughed, and Canas smiled, albeit somewhat uncomfortably. Leaning back against the couch, Kelial stretched out his frame before returning his attention to Canas. "I'll try not to bore you, though. All right?

"All able Bernese have to enter the army for active duty for at least three years and are on reserve status afterwards, but to be a wyvern rider you gotta start early to be any good. Of course, I was great." With a smile, Kelial reached for his cup, but after a sip Canas saw that Kelial's smile was gone, replaced by a wholly serious expression. "But then the king started getting a little paranoid and the generals were happy to make the king even more twitchy so they could get higher pay, so we were sent on patrols to other countries. My troop got Ilia. It was plain recon, that's all, and Ilia was low on the priority list because the Union only fights for money, anyway.

"My commander sent me out by myself further north 'cause we Bernese are cocky bastards when it comes to ourselves. So, naturally, I got ambushed by brigands." Kelial tapped his leg, an odd little smile on his face that Canas could not decipher. "This was where the first hand axe struck. The second one brought my wyvern Selene down by tearing into her wing."

There was a lapse in the conversation as Canas waited for Kelial to go on. Slowly, it dawned on him that Kelial was not intending to continue the story. "So, if I may ask...what happened?" he asked, mindful that it might not be prudent to inquire further, and yet he was drawn to the easy way Kelial related his story.

Kelial's smile tightened. "Selene died protecting my useless ass. She was tearing into them as much as they were tearing into her. The snow was so red..." He closed his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose with one hand as the other gripped his teacup.

"Oh..." Canas looked down, nauseated by the image Kelial's words evoked in him. History was full of such acts and worse, but those that documented such events always glossed over the fact that people were dying by the hand of their fellow man. It was easy to forget how people suffered, how one person suffered, when history was focused on the grander scale. "Forgive me, I shouldn't have asked..." he breathed.

"What, never thought about the world outside of your books?" Kelial laughed, a harsh sound that raked across Canas' sensitive nerves. "Or are you saying that just to make yourself feel better?" The look in the other man's eyes as he opened them made Canas nervous; with Kelial's lips twisted in a smirk and a peculiar flatness in his gaze, Canas had the feeling that Kelial was a very dangerous man. The feeling only solidified when Kelial spoke again, his expression unchanging: "I don't want your damn pity."

Silence reigned as Canas tried to still the rapid beats of his heart. How could he ever have thought Rosliand was intimidating? At least she was consistent. This Kelial could not possibly be the same as the Kelial who bantered with Lily like it was second nature. "I...f-forgive me, but that...that was not w-what I had in mind, exactly..." he said, tripping over his words as easily as his heart tripped over its normal sequence of beats.

Kelial stared at him for a long moment before shaking his head. "Sorry, I just hate hearing things like that. That's why I like the women here, 'cause they're so honest-sounding. Telling me you shouldn't have asked after asking me pointed questions is just stupid. Anyway, to make a long story short, I crawled here and some bandits ended up following my blood trail. Lily saved me, but barely I guess, 'cause she used some ring to make herself stronger. And now I've been in this place for the last six or seven years." Tilting the contents of his cup into his mouth, Kelial set down the teacup and ran a hand through the locks of hair that fell into his face. "And life's been pretty much at a standstill since then."

"Ah," Canas uttered, looking down into his cup. Listening to Kelial's story made him feel...drained, of a sort. "And...are you enjoying your life here?"

"Sure. I've got some great friends, and Ilia's not bad. Starving during the winter isn't so great, but it's not like only Ilians go through food shortages, right?" A short bark of laughter startled Canas into looking at Kelial, who was once again reaching for the teapot. "I've adapted. This country's added something to me, like making a halberd."

Canas blinked, confused by the reference to what sounded like a physical weapon. "Er, excuse me, but what is a 'halberd'?"

"Aww, by the saint...a halberd's like a spear with an axe blade attached to the pointy end. The best of both worlds, used by axe-users to take down horses," Kelial said before ingesting more tea. He may have said more, perhaps connecting the analogy to his situation, but by then Canas was in the grip of a powerful epiphany.

_If weapons of a more physical nature can be spliced together to create a completely new weapon in order to disable a particular target, can the same theory be applied to magic...?_

He did not know the answer just yet, but he certainly thought he would like to find out.

-0-

The disquiet that Lily had begun to feel only deepened as she and Cione sat down. Lily knew it was because the woman had no concept of personal space; she was well aware that she was physically affectionate, but only to her friends. She had no idea what made Cione think they were friends, but she would like it to stop.

They sat together on one couch, Cione's knee pressed against her own. It didn't matter if Lily moved back with the pretense of yawning or stretching, she could just not get away from that knee. And yet, to say something would be beyond rude. So, she sat back, her arms tightly crossed to prevent Cione from grabbing her hands, and tried to focus her gaze on something other than Cione's face, which loomed before her like a great full moon.

On the other hand, Cione's words were nothing if not engrossing.

"We are all suffering, my dear. The Union used to be so benevolent. They used to treat us, not merely as people to serve, but as the sisters and brothers that we truly were." Cione gazed at her, and Lily saw the sadness that deepened every line in the older woman's face. "That was such a long time ago."

Lily shifted, uneasy at the topic. "How do you mean? The Union treats us very well."

Sighing, Cione placed her hand on Lily's knee. "In my time, the Union would not keep one as foul-mouthed as that Leto girl. Can you believe that she came to us, standing proud as she insulted us and our daughters because they were not up to par as killers?" Her eyes shone with unshed tears as she gazed into Lily's eyes. "Mere children, and yet she has the audacity to insult us for wanting our daughters to enjoy their innocence as much as possible. Her words were sanctioned by General Cassandra herself, you know. This is what the Union believes."

"I...I understand the way you feel, but they do have a point. It's their job to be great warriors so that they can be hired. If it wasn't for them, we would've never survived this long," Lily said, bothered but trying to keep a calm face. Every Ilian knew that rationale; Ilia sold death to sustain its own life. On many levels, she thought that made it right, noble.

On other levels, it made her think they all had a very sad existence. But...at least they still existed.

"Oh, dear child," Cione said as she patted Lily's knee. "Praising one's captors for the dungeon they built will never free you."

The condescension cut through the binds of politeness that held Lily's pride in check. "It's necessary. If you have a better idea, I'm sure the Union would like to hear it. But you're deluding yourself if you think that the Union enjoys this existence any more than we do."

"Oh?" With narrowed eyes, Cione no longer looked the part of a woman grieving for the sins of her country. Yet, Lily was unconvinced she was seeing a warrior, either. "With your praise, one would think you were a pegasus knight."

"I wanted to be a pegasus knight, but when my sister left, it was my responsibility to take up the family duties," Lily stated in what she thought was a calm tone, one insult away from letting her anger get the best of her.

A softness to Cione's face confused Lily. "You should be proud to have a sister that cares about you. After all, a life here is much better than being a pegasus knight." The older woman sighed, shaking her head. "If only Yvette had cared about Yunice the same way and spared her from all that tragedy. You should be grateful to have such a loving sister--"

"Iris was selfish!" Lily exclaimed, shaken by Cione's words. To hear her sister lauded in such a way after abandoning her country, her _family_... "So then, what are your plans? Or do you have any at all and you just came here to insult the people who die to feed you?" she asked, unable to keep the disdain out of her voice. There was nothing more annoying to her than people not employing any common sense while making plans, and while she made exceptions for Canas, this woman had already pushed her beyond the breaking point.

Cione smiled, a tight little thing that made Lily think that the woman was a very ugly person on the inside if she could ruin a smile like that. "Even as we speak, there are other villages who understand, who are sick of living to be abused by the Union. The number grows daily. We will no longer be oppressed by a system that pretends to care about us while insulting our sacrifices."

Somewhere deep inside Lily, she laughed. Once she got home, she would have to apologize to Canas for ever thinking he was a fool. Sure, he had very little common sense, but at least he wasn't stupid enough to bite the hand that fed him. But, even as she saw the humor of the situation, she could also hear how much Cione truly believed the rhetoric she spewed, could see the dangerous glimmer in those narrowed eyes.

"You're all fools," Lily announced, tearing herself away from Cione's touch and rising to her feet. "The only way you can change the system is by having a solution at hand, not by forming a mob and hoping that the group mind will figure something out afterwards. I don't like that our people have to die so that we can live, but at least they're trying to help our situation."

Cione stood, anger apparent in every movement. "Child, you're a traitor to the true Ilian spirit. You would have us suffer for your lily bulbs?"

"Traitor? Coming from you, that's very funny." With fury and disgust directing her, Lily leaned towards the other woman. "I won't say anything, because you'll never get anywhere anyway," she whispered, "but I do hope you remember this if you try: You can try to gnaw off the hand that feeds you, but the other hand is always wielding a spear." Lily turned around and walked away, believing that was all that needed to be said.

She thought it was enough.

-to be continued-

I'm very sorry for the week-long delay; it's nice, sort of, to be able to blame it on FFN. Hey, more editing time can never hurt, right? Everything in this chapter is plotty stuff that will get us through to the end of the arc. Believe it or not, but the story is halfway over!

--Lamia is a city in Greece. I was going to pull up a name of a more mythologically-connected city, but the image of the lamia naga is too good to pass up.

Finally, one last note: SUtOT is officially the first story I've ever written that has reached 200 reviews, though the number itself is of little importance next to the content. Thank you for all of your comments, helpful advice, and opportunities for conversation. I feel weird in calling attention to the amount of reviews, but I'm very grateful for the interest everyone has shown in this little story. If you want, please continue to send your comments and advice, and thank you for reading!


	19. Preparations

Shadows Under the Oak Tree

(C) Intelligent Systems and Nintendo

-0-

19. Preparations  
(_Hey, baby. The strongest partnership._)

_One day_, Lily thought as she stood among the group of women gathered in Mina's home, _one day it'll be my turn to go through with this._

She didn't know how to feel about that. They were all gathered here today to watch Mina give her second daughter a name. It was tradition to wait a year before naming a child; caution was mere prudence when faced with the realism of living in a place like Ilia. There were many factors working against every newborn, and even a relatively mundane one like a mother's milk drying up was fatal in a village as small as Corinth, where births tended to be spaced out between the families and general malnourishment made the idea of wet nurses a rarity. But somehow, even with all the dangers, babies thrived more often than they were buried. Lily could see Mina holding the baby, who was pink and plump and defiant of the consequences of being born an Ilian, and she had to smile.

Ilians could survive anything and become all the more stronger for it. So, why did people like Cione exist to tear down the only structure the country had known for nearly a millennia?

None of the answers satisfied Lily. There wasn't any need to worry about it at all, but Lily was a worrier at heart. She understood their emotional argument, but the lack of logic bothered her more than necessary.

Shaking her head, she watched Mina's baby squirm. Ilia's hope was in the younger woman's arms, and Lily had to smile. _It's no use thinking about those idiots_, she thought, vowing to keep her mind fully on today's events. _A good name is much more important._

Mina sat down next to her elder daughter Rachel, who was holding a carved doll and looking like a miniature Mina. The sight prompted quite a few comments that included the words 'cute' and 'adorable' far more times in a breath than Lily had ever thought possible. Taking a deep breath, Mina began to talk in her sweet, soft voice. "Thank you, everyone. We're truly blessed by the saint to have such wonderful friends." It always made Lily uncomfortable to hear anyone mention Saint Elimine, even a devout Eliminean like Mina, probably because she had never cared for the religion itself. Still, she nodded her appreciation like the rest of the women. "Jorah would be happy to know that the weather was nice for our daughter's naming day."

Lily inwardly winced, her mind taking her back to Cione even though it was the last thing she wanted at the moment. Cione had talked about sisters and daughters, but had forgotten about the sacrifices of the men; because Jorah was one of the commanders of the mercenary knights that scoured the land for work during the winter, he wouldn't be able to call his younger daughter by her name for months after the fact. It was such a small thing, and yet...

_Everyone suffers._

"--talked about it during his break at home, and we really wanted to give our second and last child a name suited for our dreams of Ilia," Mina continued.

"Oh, last child? You can do better than that!" Tinae called out in what Lily thought was a good-natured tone. She laughed with the rest of the crowd, although privately she wondered if she could even handle bearing one child.

Mina brought a hand to her face, rubbing at the red blotches that suddenly appeared. "Better than...? Tinae, we aren't all as lucky as you. Your children wanted to go out into the world as quickly as possible." Some of the women loudly agreed, while Tinae looked pleased with herself. Lily tried not to think about that part of pregnancy too much, but she couldn't stop all the things she heard from combining into a beast that she didn't think she wanted to conquer anytime soon.

"Who cares about that? Let's hear the name!" Camilla, a former pegasus knight forced to retire after nearly losing an arm some years back, cried out. Cheers followed this, and Mina swept some hair back before returning that arm to fully support the baby.

"Rachel, do you want to tell everybody the name?" Mina asked her daughter, and Lily had to giggle as the young girl began bouncing in her seat, a wide smile on her face.

"Can I? Can I?" Mina nodded, her own smile a reflection of her daughter's. Rachel stared out at everyone with the largest, most innocent gaze Lily had seen since she had met Canas. "Um, okay! My sister's name is Elysia!"

It was one of the prettiest names Lily had ever heard for a girl, and now she almost wished she had a daughter just to give her a beautiful name. Something like Amaryllis or Rose or...she was really going to have to think of more than flower names, wasn't she? She smiled to herself as she clapped with the others, rejoicing over the event, the name, the simple togetherness they felt inside the small house. Soon food was being served, because there was always food during any halfway-important Ilian tradition, and Lily was munching on the lily bulbs in her stew while enjoying the day.

"--that Lily's next, right?"

Lily looked up from her bowl at the sound of her name and was unnerved to see everyone in the room staring at her. Well, she might've been fine with all the staring, but the grinning _definitely_ had to go. "W-what?" she asked, half-defensive, half-scared.

Tinae sidled up to her with a voracious grin. "You're next." This was punctuated by a poke to the arm that Lily felt was not needed.

"Ow," she said halfheartedly, not willing to let go of her bowl to rub her arm. In a room with a sea of suspicious grins, the bowl might be her only friend. "What am I next for?"

"To have a baby!" Tinae announced, and Lily immediately looked down, as if her stomach would inflate at Tinae's words. It didn't, and Lily was very relieved.

"I'm not pregnant," she said with absolute certainty. Of course, she imagined the whole process would be so immediately obvious that she would wake up and instantly know that there was a baby inside of her, ready to take up residence for the next nine or so months. That seemed better than the alternative, which was not knowing and getting quite a surprise one day!

Lily didn't like surprises.

There was a chorus of 'aww's filling up the room, and Lily blushed. Tinae scoffed. "What? Still? But you've been living with the three-eyed wonder for two years now!"

"He has a name," Lily moaned. Then something else occurred to her. "Hm, wait. I've only been married for a year, Tinae." Her face grew warmer as she realized the implication behind Tinae's words. "Hey, what are you saying?" she yelled, indignant.

The room was silent until a voice--_Astrid?_ she thought--said in a clear tone, "Well, if she doesn't know, it's no wonder she's not pregnant!" and suddenly everyone was laughing and she was wondering what she had done to deserve this.

_Well, you were no help, were you?_ She glared at the soup bowl before taking another spoonful, pouting all the while for the others.

She was smiling deep down, though. Very deep down, but it was there, all the same.

-0-

It was quiet in the village when Canas strolled outside, somehow able to enjoy the chilly wind as it brushed against his face and tousled his hair. It was quite a lovely day for the spring, even if snow covered the ground instead of blossoming flowers. He could still remember the beauty of springtime in the more temperate locations, but the sight of fresh snow, he found, had its own appeal.

There were some men chopping firewood for the next storm, and he waved to them as he passed by. A couple nodded, which delighted Canas because it was such a pleasant change from having people giving him strange looks. He still received plenty of those, of course, but he refused to dwell on that. After all, it _was_ a beautiful day.

The quiet enabled him to think, particularly on what was most important to him: a theory he planned to present to Lily after she came back from her friend's party. He had researched for a month on similar precedents, painstakingly taking notes and cross-referencing them with other theories. It was his first theory, and he was so excited about his studies that it really seemed as if the world was somehow brighter in the wake of his research.

Lily would be enthusiastic as well, he knew. She had expressed curiosity and interest about his work during the last week, but he had forced himself to keep his silence until he was fully prepared to answer all her inquires.

It was a bit like his proposal for marriage, except that he knew how much this would mean to her.

As he meandered, he happened to notice Rosliand, whose dark blue cloak flapped in the wind as she stood. Smiling, he approached her, noting with some interest that she was making gestures with her hands as she faced a presumably uninhabited house, which he hypothesized was abandoned only because of the repair work it needed. "Good afternoon, Rosliand," he greeted as he reached her.

"Mister Canas," she said, then was silent as she made more strange gestures, most of them involving her thumbs and index fingers used much like two floating corners of a square.

Canas felt that he was intruding. "Ah, forgive me. I'll leave you to your...er, work." He was about to turn and leave when her head seemed to swivel around until she was staring at him with a blank expression on her face. Truth be told, he thought that was a bit frightening.

"That house used to belong to a blacksmith," she stated.

"...Ah, I see." They stared at each other for a long moment before Canas mustered up enough courage to ask, "Forgive me if this is an unwanted question, but is this another one of your, erm, attempts at conversation?"

One corner of her lips slanted downward. "No." She turned around, but before he considered their conversation over, she turned her whole body around so that she was facing him and gestured with an arm towards the house. "I've decided to invite a blacksmith journeyman to make his home here."

"How nice," he said, mildly interested. "Whatever for?"

Rosliand narrowed her eyes. "Did Lily tell you about last month's meeting?"

"Er, yes, I believe so." He remembered something of it; Lily had been anxious when she related her encounter with the woman from Lamia. A few days later, she had gone to discuss matters with Lady Yunice, an act with currently inconclusive results. For her part, Lily often fluctuated between anxiety and despondency whenever he asked about it, so he decided to stop. In part, this was why he was so elated over his initial research results, as Lily seemed to need something to distract herself with.

"Nothing good will come out of it. These times call for preemptive measures. Lily can worry about the morality of the issue, and I'll deal with the reality."

"...Does this mean that you suspect a battle will arise over the issue?"

Frowning now, she closed her eyes. "Possibly."

"I see." Canas looked down, disappointed by the immediate inclination to look to armed conflict as an answer. Were there not other solutions? Discussions, negotiations, any sort of interaction that did not involve bloodshed? Perhaps he was naive to think this when banditry was a very real problem throughout Ilia--civilized Elibe as a whole--but he, for one, was not willing to believe that all options had already been exhausted. He glanced at Rosliand, who was looking at the house again, and wondered if she was truly unable to consider otherwise. "Rosliand," he started, attracting her attention, "is this your decision, or Lady Yunice's?"

The look she gave him made him wonder if there was something he should have known prior to today. "Lily's."

He blinked. "I didn't realize the decision was Lily's to make."

"Now you know." The smile that Rosliand was wearing reminded him of the time a particularly starved wolf stared down at him while he traveled between two Tanian villages at night. He thought he had been luckier then; a good-natured mercenary had intervened. No one in Corinth was going to save him, especially not from her. "Lily is the only person I take orders from."

"Is that so?" he wondered aloud. "I didn't realize. Is there a reason why?"

"Later."

"Oh. All right. Then, in that case..." Canas gestured to the dilapidated building. "You seem altogether too at ease if what you say will become reality. Why is that?"

"It happens. Civilians, too comfortable in their lifestyle as provided by the Union, decide that they no longer need it. They are angered by the quotas the Union impresses on them. The Union forgets their place. They demand so much from the people." Rosliand shrugged. "General Cassandra is a capable warrior and a devoted mother, but she forgets the rest of the country. Some commanders take advantage of this and ruin the Union's name. Some civilians forget that we die so that they can live."

"And...there is nothing that can be done?" Canas asked, concerned. It was living history, he could see that much. Apparently, Ilia was not immune to the same events that brought down dynasties in Etruria and Bern; the actual events were just modified to fit the culture.

"Lily did something that was both very stupid and very smart. She directed the civilians' attention to us instead of Edessa. They'll focus their attention on us, and the Union will react accordingly afterwards. If it happens, of course."

"Pardon me, but there is an 'if' clause to this?"

"Lady Yunice. She is suppressing our actions, because she believes her cousin will not be so foolish. Lily doesn't either, but I trained her to take precautions whenever she can."

"I see," and Canas believed he could now. Adjusting his monocle, he studied the building that would soon hold a blacksmith's forge. The thought made the domicile somewhat grander than its current state. "You're very loyal to Lily," he commented, and Rosliand smiled thinly.

"Lily is very loyal to our country. So loyal that we may all die because of it. I can't help but admire that."

Somehow, he could see her point.

-0-

Lily knelt at her parents' burial spot, the snow under her legs and hands a small comfort. There were no candles this year, just like there were none last year due to everyone's focus on her wedding. While that made it easier to think, which she definitely needed considering how bothered she felt earlier at Mina's, she wondered if that meant that everyone was forgetting her parents. In the sea, in the ground...it was all the same as 'out of sight, out of mind.'

It didn't really bother her. Her parents, everyone's parents...they were all still in Ilia, still watching over all of them. But her parents' unique voices had melded with the voices of a million other Ilians, and she could not longer hear them when she communed with the spirits.

How she wished she could hear them now. More than ever, she needed their advice. Her kind, loving parents...they were probably so disappointed in her now.

_What's happening to this country?_ she asked herself as she looked upward into the gray sky. _What's happening to all of us? Rosliand says I made a mistake, Grandma Yunice is advocating patience, and I don't know what to do. I don't believe that Cione is going to do anything. She'd have to be pretty stupid to attack us. After all, the consequences wouldn't be worth it._ She shook her head at the idea.

_Then again, we're all acting like fools these days._

As far as Lily was concerned, she was the biggest fool of all. To let herself react to Cione's claims that Iris was so selfless, with that sweet, aggravating tone like that woman personally knew the circumstances, was a bad idea in hindsight.

Hindsight was so helpful in that regard.

"Lily?"

She started, surprised that she was so deep in her thoughts that she hadn't even heard the footsteps in the snow. Looking over her shoulder, she saw Canas, who appeared to her like a tall, dark apparition against the white of the snow and the brown of the trees behind them. He really seemed to like dark clothing, considering that was all he wore, and she briefly wondered if all dark magic users dressed like that.

_Not that it really matters_, she thought. These days, dark magic was the least of her worries.

"Hello," she said, smiling. It amazed her that she could feel like smiling, but seeing Canas made her feel a bit better already. "Were you looking for me?"

He smiled in return as he walked up to her. "I was, but I shouldn't interrupt..." She followed his line of sight and realized that he was looking at the place her parents were buried. Touched by his respect and consideration, she reached out and linked her arm around his, all the while feeling strangely teary-eyed. _Wonderful, I'm growing sensitive at the advanced age of twenty-six cycles, going on...on fifty or something_, she thought, and she had to hold back the wild giggle that was threatening to bubble up.

She was probably going crazy. It wouldn't be a surprise to her, what with the insanity currently infesting her country.

Canas was giving her a strange look. "Erm...Lily?" he said, sounding unsure. She did laugh then, as if everything was really all right.

"Canas, I don't know what I'm doing anymore," she said, surprised by how right it felt to admit that. Rosliand was certain everything was going to be worse because she gave in to her anger, and Grandma Yunice was visibly disappointed in the way she had treated Cione. And yes, she accepted that she had made a mistake. Yet, she was getting the feeling that she wasn't being seen as a human being with her own opinions, but rather a sort of tool, or image. She was their guardian, sure, but she also had a heart, one unused to diplomacy with even people outside of the village.

Not for the first time, she envied Iris.

There was sympathy in Canas' gaze, sympathy and a real, aching empathy Lily was pained to see. No matter how horrible she felt, she always took some pleasure in keeping it to herself, knowing that it wasn't affecting anyone else. But now she realized that the way she felt always affected others, no matter the pains she took.

She was going to have to get used to hurting people, and disappointing their ideal of her.

"Lily," he said, his tone kinder than usual, if it were possible, "there's something I'd like to discuss with you. When will you be available?"

She laughed, and this time she didn't feel like everything was falling apart. "What are you saying? I'll always make time for you." Grinning, she began to pull him towards the mountain. "Let's get a soak in, while we're at it. All right?"

-0-

Lily was currently looking at him with what was possibly the most confused expression he had ever seen on her face. It looked as if she was perpetually on the verge of saying something, but then she would reel herself in at the last moment--fishing for the woman who always fell asleep on their fishing excursions. "I don't understand," she finally managed to say.

"Oh. Well...how I can explain..." He sloshed his feet through the, er, puddle, a few drops dotting the ends of his rolled-up trousers. While trying to wipe out the spots, he decided to relate to her the same analogy that had initially charged his research. "It follows the same principle as a halberd," he stated, a bit proud. The drops had sufficiently been blended out.

"What's a halberd?"

"Apparently it's a specialized weapon, created by combining an axe head to a spear."

"That sounds dangerous," she mused. "We're not destroying anything, are we? There really isn't much point to doing that to the land."

"True," he conceded. "However, this will be somewhat different. Instead of using elder magic in conjunction with anima magic, which I fear would be simply unfeasible given our current knowledge, I believe there might be a way to use the theory behind the constructs to hold together the fabric of a Fire spell."

"What would that do?"

"I believe that the application of the bound spell upon an area of land would heat the earth, which might stimulate growth of any seeds planted in the area."

Lily looked at him, her expression far more neutral than he had expected. Then she glanced at the ground, the water, and he felt that she was deliberately avoiding eye contact with him. When she did return his gaze, there was an earnest light to her expression that made him feel...relieved.

"Why don't we just set fire to the land?"

Because he was unable to tell if she was being flippant, he waited a heartbeat's pause to see if a grin would crack apart her thoughtful expression. Instead, he was able to detect a certain nuance, an arching eyebrow that signified her impatience. "Ah...that wouldn't be feasible, actually," he hastened to clarify. "What I am actually interested in is a sustaining fire, preferably kept underground."

She frowned. "How would that work? Fire burns itself out if it's enclosed. And magical fire isn't any different once the spell is complete. I suppose I could hold together the sigil while looping through the incantation, but I don't have a tome with me..."

"Oh." He leaned towards her, one arm gesturing towards the small body of water. "But your talent allows you to invoke magic without the tome. A demonstration regarding the fluidity of anima magic would allow me to incorporate a greater range of probability into the formula I'm using for the construct..."

Lily looked at him in a certain way that he was unfortunately acquainted with and promptly fell quiet. "Canas, if I did that, the pressure from holding together the spell would kill me by making everything inside me explode." As his eyes widened from the rather unexpected answer, she shrugged. "And if I let go, I would die from magical depletion."

"Oh! Perhaps you shouldn't do that, then," he realized out loud, prompting another look from her.

"_Perhaps._"

"Yes, well..." A question rose, unbidden from the depths of his mind. "Actually, while I don't doubt the, ah, fatal consequences, how do you know that those would be the specific reactions?"

She shrugged again, her attention quite possibly focused on her feet, immersed in water as they were. His observation was proven correct when she began to wiggle her toes. "My ancestors have done many things with magic. For a few centuries, it looked as if they were trying to kill themselves off in new and fantastic ways."

Silence reigned over them for some time before Canas remembered he still had a presentation to finish. "Lily, does your talent allow you a greater understanding of the trajectory of spells?"

"It's a _skill_, not a talent," she said. The glance she gave him either conveyed annoyance or interest, so he assumed it was the latter. "And that's movement, right? No, that's...a mage family in Lycia had focused on how to make the spells move by the will of the caster."

He brightened. "Really? Is it possible to contact them, then? I have some questions I need to clear up before I can work on a suitable experiment."

"I'm sorry, but they're dead now. Um..." Acute discomfort creased her features, making him regret even asking. "Their heir was a man named Juge. He married my sister and died with her."

"Forgive me, I hadn't realized..." Uncomfortable with the present situation, he looked at the wall across from them, then back at her. She met his gaze and smiled, though it was a pale imitation of what he was used from her smiles.

"Don't look so worried. It happened a long time ago," she said, but looking at her, he wondered if this was true; it seemed so only in the temporal sense. "You can explain what you need, and maybe I can help fill in the rest."

It was difficult for him to do as she said, if only because he was distracted by the trace of pain in her expression. Bit by bit, he was able to decipher her various moods and gestures, but he had never needed to wonder if she was hurt. Lately, with the impending crisis--if it could be called that--it seemed as if she was in perpetual discomfort. "If you like. I believe I need to know an estimate of the distance magic can travel."

"The distance from a mountain cliff to maybe the end of the village before coming up to the oaks, if we're talking about specially-designed long-distance magic," she answered, then twisted her mouth in a way that could almost be described as a pout. "That's not too far, even if you account for height, and that's only for the Bolting tome, anyway."

He was already comparing the estimated distance with the range of the construct. "You're right. My, this is turning out to be quite the challenge, isn't it?" he asked, smiling at the idea of adjusting his research and formulas appropriately to what he learned today. It was just so exciting to know that he would have the opportunity to learn so much from this project

Lily smiled, and he was happy to note that it was the kind that made him smile back in return. "Well, you better not quit on me just yet. We have a deal, right?"

"Mm, we do. We truly have the most advantageous of partnerships. I have full confidence in our success." He held a hand out to her, which she took.

"That's true, but..." A flash of a grin was his only warning before she pulled him to her, where he felt something warm against his cheek. It was obvious what that had been once she moved her head back to smile at him. "That's how I remember sealing that promise. Right?"

He wondered if there was ever going to be a time in his life when his face would not heat up at her spontaneous displays of affection. "Ah, yes. Yes, I remember quite well."

When she aimed a brilliant smile at him before letting go in favor of finding her boots, he could not help but think that feeling so warm was perfect for living in a place like Ilia, anyway.

-to be continued-

And the story rolls on. I'm aware the name 'Elysia' is also in Fullmetal Alchemist, but I was really thinking about the Elysian Fields. Thank you for reading, and feel free to send in your comments and questions!


	20. The Three 'R's

Shadows Under the Oak Tree

(C) Intelligent Systems and Nintendo

-0-

20. The Three 'R's  
(_Reading. Researching. Rejecting._)

It was two weeks after he told her about his breakthrough when Canas saw that Lily's aura was orange.

At the time, he had been taking notes and happened to look over at her. There was no proclamation from the heavens (which would, he had to admit, be somewhat more frightening than seeing one's wife suddenly glowing), no forewarning, no mystical presence whatsoever, not even a loud noise to even give him a sort of emotional resonance after the fact. Well, he had dropped the tome he had been perusing, but that was far and away not impressive enough to be attached to the memory of the chromatic projection that made up a magic user's magical potential.

He had never been very adept at passive magic the way his mother or Lily were. There was a time, years ago, when he was able to see auras at will, but once he arrived in the great, magically-rich city of Aquleia he developed two things detrimental to Seeing; eyestrain from seeing too many colors at one time, and the thought that it really must be terribly impolite to stare at mages and monks in such a way. It was also much easier to peer into a tome and rather more intellectually stimulating. He had no idea what to do with the information gleaned from Seeing, or even if he was understanding it correctly in the first place.

However, Lily's aura was a peaceful orange, with more than a passing resemblance to a low-burning flame. Seeing her this way, while she was occupied with reading, made him smile. Lately, she had been more concerned with avoiding the darkening Corinthian ideological climate. She was busy, there was no denying that, but she seemed much happier as she went along on her daily routine, making medicines, trading with the other villagers, and studying with him.

If she was happy, he was happy. It was that simple.

She glanced up, an odd smile on her face. He thought he would be able to see her emotions highlighted in her aura, but the only occurrence he noticed was a tremulous flicker. "What is it?" she asked in a low voice, that smile still on her face.

"Ah..." He was embarrassed at admitting the truth, because even if she did not consider wanton Seeing impolite, he certainly did. "I, er, never knew your aura was orange."

The odd smile suddenly became a regular smile, to which Canas felt relieved to see. "You don't read auras, do you?"

"No, not at all."

"I didn't think so. You're too..." She waved a hand around in a gesture that he thought meant that a word was not forthcoming. "You prefer more solid ways to gather information. That's why you're always reading."

He nodded. "True, tomes and scrolls are more readily accessible to my eyes...such as they are." Chuckling at his own joke, he reached for the tome he had been reading. When he looked up again, he could no longer See her aura. "But, one must always consider that authors are always propelled by their own biases. I suppose when it comes to reading auras, it would be the person Seeing that is controlled by their own assumptions."

"Well, that's only human," Lily replied. "It's not as if we're able to see through anybody else's eyes other than our own. You can't fault someone for following how they see things, no matter how twisted those ideas become."

There was a knock at the door, and Lily stood to answer it. Canas frowned at her answer; it seemed too much like excusing prejudice. "Then, who is to blame?"

She turned to him, an eyebrow raised in question. "The people who allowed those ideas to become twisted without saying anything at all." Turning away, she walked to the door. As she passed him, he heard her mutter this:

"Not that it's easy to decide which ideas are twisted when there are so many ways to see."

Canas knew why she said that. It was why they had been researching together as much as they had as of late. It was why Lily was very careful to focus on her duties as an herbalist, instead of talking about her duty as Corinth's guardian. It was why his idea of exercise nowadays involved helping Lily clean up the house and sort through her parcels.

They were much happier inside their home than outside of it, unfortunately.

-0-

Lily had an idea.

She was going to go down to the blacksmith's house with the best thing she had to trade; right now, that was a nice piece of honeycomb, courtesy of a friend in Etruria who had never cared what her husband was. With it, she was going to get the blacksmith to make her a bundle of blades. She would then attach them to her front door. As all ideas do, this one had a problem as well as an advantage. On one hand, it would stop her from receiving visitors.

On the other hand, it would stop her from receiving visitors.

There was a knock at the door. There was always a knock at the door these days, and Lily wished Canas was out here and not searching for a book in their bedroom so he could answer the door. Frustrated, she rose from her seat, glancing at the table; with all the books, scrolls, and miscellaneous papers strewn over it, there was no way she could invite her visitor in for tea if it turned out to be a social call. She really hoped it wasn't. With the idea of rebellion, with Grandma Yunice and Rosliand and their very different ideas, there were tensions among the villagers. The visitors before were either friends or patients; now the majority of the visitors were concerned with asking her whose side she was on, as if she didn't have her own ideas about the whole thing.

Opening the door made Lily feel very sorry she had. For one, it was Rosliand on the other side. Two, it was an annoyed Rosliand; that much was obvious by the lines of distaste around her mouth. "_Lily_," she said, and Lily winced. No one deserved to have their name spoken that way.

"Hello, Rosliand. Can I interest you in some tea--"

"No."

Nor did anyone deserve to be spoken to that way. Lily had enough height on Rosliand that she could easily look down on her, but right now she was feeling very small. A snowflake couldn't feel this small. That she knew the reason why Rosliand was currently in her 'First-class scout' persona made her feel worse. "Right." Lily sighed. "I'm very sorry--"

"If you were, you would've showed up."

"--for not coming to practice lately, but I've been very busy at home."

Rosliand looked annoyed--it wasn't often that someone dared to continue talking as if she hadn't said a thing--and Lily allowed herself to be inwardly pleased at incurring only annoyance. "I'm sure. That you would forego improving your skills at protecting the village shows me as much."

Oh, she knew how to hit those weak points. Lily felt her confidence slipping away, as if it were clinging to the edge of a cliff. "Yes, you're right," she answered, chagrined. "But it really is important work."

"What is it?"

"Research. Canas and I are researching ways to rejuvenate Ilia through combining magic."

A frown flickered on Rosliand's face for the barest slice of a moment. "Research," she repeated, and it was very obvious to Lily that she either didn't believe it, or thought it was a waste of time. "I see. I'll leave you to that, then." With that, she turned around and began to walk away.

"Wait!" Lily cried out, holding onto the doorknob with a tight grip. Rosliand turned, her facial expression for once open with curiosity. "You still don't believe it can be done, do you?" Lily had to ask, and she was surprised at the almost bashful way Rosliand looked down.

"I..." Rosliand sighed, shaking her head as she glanced up at Lily. "I want to believe."

Lily nodded, unable to hide her disappointment. When Rosliand had first arrived in Corinth, over nine years ago, Lily had asked her the same question. She remembered how carefully Rosliand had answered, and how she assumed it was because Rosliand hadn't wanted to offend her parents. Now, Lily understood better; it took a lot of energy to believe. To believe in something that was no closer to occurring than it had in the beginning, generations and generations of suffering ago, was nothing short of foolish. In this case, wanting to believe was at least a willingness not shared by most of the country. There was a reason Corinth was so small, after all.

"It'll happen," said Lily in her most reassuring tone. Only two words, and yet she felt energized. "You'll see. We'll enjoy a...a, I don't know, a salad together."

Rosliand smiled, swiping away the fringe falling into her eyes. "I've always liked salads," she said, "it was my guilty pleasure."

"Let's indulge together, then." Lily returned the smile. "I am sorry about neglecting practice."

"Yes, duly noted." The smile faded as Rosliand gestured behind her. "But, it's not going to happen today or tomorrow. Your dream...our dream won't happen fast enough to stop the hate."

_Trust Rosliand to say what I already know_, Lily thought with irritation. Of course it was highly unlikely that she would stumble across the key to a healthy, happy Ilia right now, when it would help most. In fact, she wondered how much that would help. The greener countries fought all the time; that was how Ilia got its gold, after all. And yet...it was doing something, a something that could one day bring Ilia together in a way that a desperation to survive couldn't.

That made it worth it, no matter how long it took.

"I want to believe," Lily said, smiling.

-0-

"In the ye..._year_ six-three-oh...um, six hundred and thirty after the as...as...a-s-c-e-n-s-i-o-n..."

"Ascension."

"Ah! After the _ascension_ of Saint Ay-lee-mee-n...nee?"

"Elimi-nay."

"Right. Of Saint Elimi_ne_ a new ma-gee-kal theory began to emerge in Row-land's country."

One thing Canas was sure of was this: there was no one in the world who read aloud quite like Rycen. It was as if he was a lone man struggling to climb uphill while torrential winds surged towards him. Rycen seemed perpetually braced for every word in a sentence, often stumbling a step back or simply unable to go forward, but he would never completely let himself go to the mercies of the wind. 'Give up' was not only not part of the boy's vocabulary, but he actively disdained anyone who directed them at him. Or, as he once told Canas after a particularly wearying meeting, "Master Canas, I respect you. If you have no confidence in my skills, please feel free to tell me never to return. But, I'd like to think I've never given you reason not to respect my character. So, please, don't ever tell me to quit again."

Canas highly respected this boy, who did not easily take to the more cerebral areas of knowledge but worked diligently to, if not master them, then to understand them. This was why he clapped his hands and announced, "We should take a break."

Rycen glanced up from his tome, a certain amount of disbelief on his face. "Are you sure, Master Canas? I really feel like I'm understanding this."

Thankfully, Canas had long learned the right phrase to dissuade the boy. "If you truly feel comfortable with it now, you'll feel the same even after the break." To say anything else was risking insulting Rycen, who would never leave but simply become very cold, which intimidated Canas. The decade-wide age difference only made it worse; how much more intense would Rycen become as an adult?

"All right then," Rycen said. After placing a paper marker under the line he had just finished, he closed the tome and leaned back, appearing rather exhausted and burdened. This worried Canas, because he hated to think that it was his lessons that was putting additional stress on the boy's already full schedule of training and chores.

"Rycen, are you unwell?" he asked. The boy sighed.

"I don't like going home, so I've been sleeping on Dame Rosliand's couch, but..." Rubbing at the back of his head, Rycen smiled, though it seemed to lack sincerity. "I should get used to sleeping in uncomfortable places, but her couch is worse than that."

There was an obvious question to ask, but Canas was hesitant--it would be rude, for one. And yet, curiosity, his oldest companion, tugged at him. "Is something wrong?" he had to ask.

Rycen frowned. "I'm worried about Grandmother. She thinks that Dame Rosliand and her followers are being too hasty in thinking about preparing for an attack. Because her cousin is involved, Grandmother believes everyone is looking down on her. Corinth has a good history with Edessa and the Union, so to know that someone openly talked about rebellion is...bad. Very bad." He ran a hand through his hair, making his hair stick out in all directions.

In front of Canas was a very different person than the unflappable, obstinate boy...no, young man that he had been teaching intermittently. It made him sad to see that even the children were being affected in the whole situation. "Forgive me. I hadn't realized..."

_What else can I say? What can I say that will bring him some comfort?_

"You shouldn't say that. People think you're insincere when you apologize so easily." Canas found he had no words to say to that, and Rycen chuckled. "Sir Jorah told me once that we Ilians are an honest people. The Sacaeans are quiet, the Etrurians are pious, the Lycians loud, and the Bernese warlike, but we're the most honest. That's why no one else likes us, because we can ask for gold in exchange for killing people. We're simple, or crude, or we have no pride. But Sir Jorah said that we're really just very honest, and that's why they don't like us, since all dishonest people hate those that are honest. Because if they want money, they have to back stab each other, but we just kill.

"I'm an honest man and I'm an Ilian. So, to hear that there are Ilians who hate us for doing our job...it makes me wonder why I'm going to become a mercenary knight. I thought I didn't mind dying so that others can live, but I do mind that my own countrymen hate me because this is the only solution I know." Canas was surprised to see Rycen staring at him with gleaming eyes.

_What can I do?_

Later, he thought it might have been a funny solution. Certainly, it was out of character for himself to attempt, but having lived with Lily for as long as he had, he had to admit to the efficacy of the human touch. That was why he stood up, walked over to Rycen, and put his hand on the young man's shoulder. "I think that, to do the things you want to do, you'll have to accept that not everyone will agree with your intentions," he said, because he himself knew how true that was.

Just as he knew that the power of the human touch was not just in the physical contact, but that someone was willing to reach out. That, at least, was something he had learned from Lily.

"My sister hates me," Rycen said, almost subdued. "Grandmother and Mynthia agree, but I prefer Dame Rosliand's ideas. Mynthia thinks that I'm betraying Grandmother, but I think Grandmother is betraying her own ties to the Union. Sir Jorah said that he'd rather follow Lady Lily."

Canas blinked, surprised that Lily had a side in the current state of affairs. She was trying to keep to herself for a reason, after all. "What does everyone else think about Lily?" he asked, puzzled.

It was a surprise when Rycen stared up at him with the usual intensity that could often be seen in those blue-green eyes. But his surprise was only deepened when he thought there was something more, something painful. "Master Canas," Rycen said after a moment, "you don't want to know what they're saying about Lady Lily."

-0-

There was a knock on her workroom door, and Lily stared very intently at a bubbling potion on her desk before swishing at it with a special whisk. The foam was a healthy pea-green, according to the picture of a pea pod in her reference book on the table. Sniffing the whisk, she nodded thoughtfully--_good, good, aromatic, light scent of orange peel, wonderful!_--before turning off the burner. There was something so rewarding about being a herbalist that made her just want to grin at her concoction, but then there was another knock at the door and she sighed. Standing, she walked up to her door and cracked it open an inch. "I'm busy," she whispered. Canas was only supposed to interrupt her if there was a guest; they would talk about their research at dinner, a ritual that she always looked forward to.

"Your guests, ah, never seem to understand that," he whispered back. "And this time it's Lady Yunice and Mynthia."

_Damn_, she thought, knowing she couldn't think her way out of this. Obviously, escaping the village situation was a problem when everyone knew where she lived. Stepping out of her workroom, she looked up at Canas' worried expression. He'd been wearing one for a week now, during his last meeting with Rycen, and she knew why even without asking him. Living in this village, she could guess at the feelings of her neighbors just by the way they did or didn't look at her while they talked. Strangely enough, it didn't even hurt her to know how nasty her neighbors could be; it was the situation that made them as antsy as they were. It wasn't really _them_. "Kill me now," she whispered urgently, half-joking.

He looked alarmed for a moment, then he shook his head. "At this point, I'm convinced they'd follow you," he murmured. It was obvious to her that he wasn't joking, and so she patted his arm and headed to the sitting room. Grandma Yunice and Mynthia were sitting on Canas' favored couch, closest to the door, and enjoying a pot of tea. They looked up at her when she entered, and she felt a dragging pull inside of her at their too-bright smiles, then immediately hated herself for being suspicious.

"Grandma, Mynthia, it's a pleasure," she greeted, smiling. Mynthia nodded, murmuring something polite in her soft voice.

"Lily, we haven't seen you as much as we used to," Grandma Yunice said with a smile, but Lily thought she heard an edge behind the words. "You've always been a hard worker, but you shouldn't overwork yourself."

Pouring herself a cup of tea, Lily weighed her options: tell the truth, or be polite? "Well, there is that odd flu going about, though at least none of the children have caught it so far. I'm grateful for your concern, but please, you already have enough to worry about."

She regretted her words when Grandma Yunice gave her an odd look. "Of course, dear. In fact, it's those worries that I wanted to talk to you about."

"O-oh. What about them?"

"Rosliand and her ideas are becoming very detrimental to the fabric of peace in this village. It worries me how easily others have taken to her...paranoia."

Every thought in her mind blared out feelings that amounted to _don't get involved, it has nothing to do with you, let them deal with their problems_, but the sinking feeling in Lily's stomach told her that it had lots to do with her--these were her _friends_. "We do have the right to protect ourselves if something happens," she said, wincing at the sudden horrified look that Mynthia was giving her. "But we should also exercise caution that we don't, um, get too deep into this. We do have lives to live, after all."

Grandma Yunice stared at her for a long time, and Lily found it difficult to think of the lovely, kind grandma of her youth as the quietly suspicious matron before her. "You...have a very balanced viewpoint. And yet, you haven't said a word of your thoughts to the others," the elderly woman said. "Tell me, why is that? You do have an obligation to the community."

Lily took a sip of tea and wondered how one sentence could make her good mood of earlier disappear like smoke. "Grandma, you think too highly of me if you think that anything I say will make all the tension go away at this point. My duty is to make people healthy and to protect the village, but..." She sighed. "I won't play sides. You're all my friends, and you both have pertinent points."

"So...you won't do anything?" Mynthia said, her voice wavering. "You'll just hide away and let everyone suffer? Let Grandmother suffer?"

"Mynthia," Grandma Yunice said in a warning tone. She smiled at Lily. "We should go. Come, Mynthia."

Lily smiled and held the door and didn't feel very much at all until she heard Mynthia say, some distance away, "Everything's wrong, Grandmother. Lady Lily used to be so nice, just like Rycen, but then that woman began training them. And she's even telling the Union that you're doing a bad job. I hate what's she's doing...I hate her. She's so mean..."

Closing the door, Lily leaned on it, put her head in her hands, and began to wonder if the hate had always been there, but she had just been blind to it all.

-0-

There was a knock at the door. Because Canas could recognize patterns, he twitched as he turned the page. He did not want to answer the door. Answering the door led to bad events occurring. Answering the door led to Lily working for hours on end on her medicinal creations. And when she did leave her workroom, she was...he was unable to put it into words. She was frustrated and sad and waved her hands around with fierce gestures, but she also seemed very, very tired.

That was why he was slow in answering the door, steeling himself for whoever was the latest visitor. No matter who it was, he was going to turn them away. Even if it was Rosliand.

He took a sip of tea and wished it was stronger, even if he disliked alcohol. Taking a deep breath, he placed his tome and notes on the table, and adjusted his monocle as he approached the door. A more insistent knock sounded, and Canas stared at the door. Steeling himself, he reached out...and opened the door. Kelial smiled at him, which surprised him only because Kelial had shown a propensity for simply barging in without bothering to knock first. "Took you long enough. Hey, where's Lily? Is she here?"

Before he had the chance to rethink his words, Canas said, "Forgive me, but I cannot let you see her presently."

Immediately, Canas sensed that he had said the wrong thing. This was because Kelial was the one person in the village who he did not have to, in essence, look down upon; in fact, Kelial had a slight height advantage on him. He had never realized just what sort of advantage height could afford; as far as he himself was concerned, he had spent years bending his head down towards people--men and women alike. Kelial was still smiling, even leaning forward a bit and affecting a sort of affable politeness. However, Canas' highly tuned sense of self-preservation was focused on Kelial's suddenly flat eyes. "Sorry," Kelial said, his smile growing as Canas took an instinctive step back, "I didn't get that. Mind repeating it?"

Canas minded very much. "Ah...L-Lily has been rather...ah...stressed lately, so, er, if you could--"

"Wait, what?" The look of alarm on Kelial's face surprised Canas. "Is something going on?"

For a long time, Canas simply stared at Kelial. _He must be...the happiest person in this entire village_, he thought in a daze. "You...do know about the, ah, current situation?" The question received a blank look. "Ever since that woman--Lady Yunice's cousin--came here to incite rebellion, everyone has been in, er, disagreement over what to do next."

Kelial began to nod. "Yeah, I know that. Rosliand sent a letter over to Edessa, and now a lot of people here are hating her 'cause of it. You know, what happens in Corinth stays in Corinth." He sighed. "Lily must be pissed. She would always talk about how everyone here was family. Though, heh, this sort of thing's more like my family, really."

"Hm," Canas murmured. He remembered Rycen's words, words he dared not repeat to Lily. "Has anyone talked to you about Lily? There is a lot of negativity aimed at Lady Yunice and Rosliand, so..."

"Well, no one's going to say anything negative about Lily to me, but I have heard that she's been keeping herself indoors. Pity, though, since nobody knew it was going to snow last week."

"Yes, we've been working on an idea to rejuvenate Ilia, and Lily always has her duties--"

"Hey, so you've found a cure?" Kelial interjected, wide-eyed. Clapping a hand on Canas' shoulder, he looked much more animated than before. "That's great! I know how much Lily's wanted it, and I guess it'd help out with all the bad feelings, right?"

"Y-yes, actually!" Canas smiled, suddenly energized by the influx of positive feelings. "Not a cure, exactly, but I did think of an idea. Consider this: it would take an enormous amount of magical energy in order to revitalize the earth. Now, I thought it would be possible to directly implant the magic from the caster to the ground, but apparently that would be, er, rather unfeasible." He adjusted his monocle. "But, there are always multiple paths to a single destination."

Kelial nodded. "I think I get it. So, did you find another path?"

"Yes, implantation via a storage device. That, unfortunately, is the problem. The only object that can store magic is, simply put, a myth." Canas saw Kelial's expression darken and quickly offered an explanation. "Magic comes from an analogous dragonstone. Therefore, the Fire tome is powered by a fire dragon's dragonstone. However, tomes and amulets can only hold so much magic potential before overloading and becoming useless."

"So, what's the myth?"

"Wyvernstones, actually."

Kelial said nothing, only closing his eyes as lines creased his brow. "Wyverns don't create stones. Hell, they aren't even magical creatures. Isn't that in one of your books?"

"So is the myth of the wyvernstone," Canas said, irritation rising inside him at the mocking tone of Kelial's last sentence. "It's said that wyvernstones are created from dying wyverns who still have living riders. Only a wyvern's rider can extract it without being killed by the energy emitted by the wyvernstone, possibly because the rider is continually exposed to a wyvern's ambient energies."

"Huh." Kelial turned around. "But what kinda sick rider is going to dig around inside their partner for their heart?" Raising a hand, he called out, "Tell Lily I'll come back tomorrow to cheer her up," as he walked away.

Canas blinked, then closed the door. It was when he was returning to his seat that a sudden chill ran through his body.

_He acted as if it were a mere fairytale, one that he had never heard of before...but then, how did he know that a wyvernstone is supposedly a wyvern's heart turned to stone after death?_

-to be continued-

Hello, heavily telegraphed plot thread! This chapter is supposed to have a final part to round it out, but this is a full chapter as is. I feel more energized as we come to the climax and end of this arc, and I hope that shows through! As always, thank you for reading and you're more than welcome to send in comments and questions!

P.S. If the words 'Runaways #18' means anything to you, please PM/e-mail me. We can commiserate over who dies and who we expected to die. :)


	21. A Glimmer of Hope

Shadows Under the Oak Tree

(C) Intelligent Systems and Nintendo

-0-

21. A Glimmer of Hope  
(_To the woman who has everything. The secrets he keeps._)

The knock on the door made Lily stop in mid-sentence while talking to Canas, who was happily preparing a pot of tea. She straightened up from the wall she'd been leaning on, a tremor of anticipation running through her. Finally, someone other than her husband to hold a normal conversation with! "Sorry," she whispered to Canas, who smiled and shook his head before returning his attention to the tea. _Him and tea_, she thought in amusement before she opened the door. "Kelial! Tinae!" she exclaimed, hugging each one in turn before setting her attention on Tinae. "You came back early from your hunting trip. Shouldn't you be resting?"

Kelial shrugged, effortlessly charming even as he nudged at Tinae's shoulder. "The more, the merrier. Thought you'd like the extra company."

"Oh, I'm 'extra company' now, am I?" Tinae rolled her eyes before holding out a large pot to Lily. "Can you believe it? As soon as Rian and I got back, _he_--" Tinae prodded Kelial's side with her elbow, "--tells me that we're visiting you, so that means I have to bring food. Without any consideration for the four days I've been out camping in the woods, always on the hunt, trying to bond with my son...feh. And what did you bring, Kelial?" she asked, turning her full glare onto him.

"Me," Kelial stated with a smirk. Lily took the pot out of Tinae's hands and went to put it on the hearth, waiting for the inevitable explosion. "After all, that's all the fine, discerning ladies of this place ever needed. Right, Lily?"

"Sure," Lily said at the same time Tinae snorted and declared, "Oh, _please_."

After setting the fire with some wood and a spark from her fingers, Lily turned to face her friends just in time to see Kelial looking very put out and Tinae grinning. It always made her wonder how they could be as close of friends as they were; they seemed to thrive on each other's misery. Even now, Kelial's gaze met hers and an impish smile curved on his handsome face. "Say, Lily, d'you know why Tinae's suddenly such a wonderful mother to Rian?"

"I'm always a wonderful mother!" Tinae snapped. Lily had to agree; there were well-mannered children, and then there were Tinae's children.

"Yeah, against all odds," Kelial countered. "Anyway, it seems like Tinae said some pretty nasty things to her only son, and now she's trying to make up for her bad behavior." He reached down and patted Tinae on the head; the sudden flash of anger on Tinae's face was enough to make Lily hurry back to them. _I've got to sit Canas next to Tinae...no, wait, he's still scared of her, Lily thought. Can't let those two get within arm's reach if they're going to act like this, though..._

"Um, Tinae, what did Rian do?" Lily asked, just as Tinae began to glower at Kelial. The question did catch Tinae's attention enough to make the older woman only step away from him and the offending hand.

"He got engaged."

Lily beamed, elated at the news. Rian was such a sweet young man, and for years he had pined over Mynthia, despite the fact that Rycen was an overprotective brother. "That's great!" Then, she took another look at Tinae and Kelial; the former looked grave, the latter looked away. "That's...not great?"

"Lily, Lily, Lily...you don't get out anymore, do you?" Tinae said, shaking her head.

"Not really, no."

"Mynthia supports the rebellion movement."

For a moment, that surprised Lily. Grandma Yunice didn't implicitly agree with her cousin's ideas; she just didn't state that Corinth would be against it. Though, if anyone wanted the Union to fall it would be Mynthia, who had never seen her parents' deaths the same way her twin did. But then Lily thought about Rian, who had been fond of Mynthia for years--a little thing like taking sides wasn't going to change his opinion of her. "All right," Lily said, twirling a lock of hair between her fingers. "But Rian knows Mynthia beyond this whole mess. It'll blow over soon. Anyway, you _like_ Mynthia, so what does it matter what she supports now?"

Tinae closed her eyes, pinching the bridge of her nose with two fingers. "I'm just wondering how the hell Rian can want to marry someone who hates the Union when his own sister is a pegasus knight. He's trying to be blind to everything, but he adores his sisters. He'd never betray either of them like this."

_Nikeah, sweet Nikeah._ Lily knew how much Tinae missed her eldest daughter; she always asked Lily to read the letters Nikeah sent from Edessa. The last letter, written in Nikeah's shaky hand, cheerfully mentioned that she had graduated from beginner's training and was now going to go out to the other countries and join a mercenary company for the second phase of her training, so please don't expect as many letters in the future.

Looking at it that way, Lily could see how Tinae saw Rian's proposal as a betrayal. Any other time, Tinae would've been more than happy. She'd been trying to get Rian married and out of the house since he was fifteen. "I'm sorry," was all Lily could say. Tinae shook her head, although there were still the remnants of harsh feelings on her face.

Canas chose this moment to come out of the kitchen, holding a tray filled with various tea implements. One look at his face revealed to Lily that this was not by coincidence; he looked much too sheepish for that. "My, something smells good," he announced as he put the tea tray onto the table. Smiling at Tinae, he continued with, "Is it your creation, Madame Tinae?"

Tinae looked at him with the same mixture of suspicion and annoyance that Lily knew she still looked at Rosliand with. "You know it is. You may be half-blind, but I sure as hell know you're not deaf." Just as she was about to scold Tinae, Lily noticed Kelial place his hand on Tinae's back. "Oh, I'm suddenly remembering something," Tinae said with false cheer as she walked forward and grabbed one of Canas' arms. "Come with me. I've got to go threaten you now," she said as she began to pull him towards the hallway.

"Wow, and he doesn't even resist," Kelial pointed out, amused. He smiled at Lily, though she noticed it didn't reach his eyes. "You better watch out. Tinae's faithful, but if he lets any woman pull him away, well..."

Lily only looked at him. "So, what do you need to talk to me about?"

Scratching the back of his head, Kelial looked briefly nonplussed. "That was a little too much like our dear lady scout. Hm, okay, I have something for you. A gift, if you will."

"Oh, really?" Lily smiled despite herself. "That's nice. Is this the type of gift where I have to give you something in return...oh, wait, that's your only definition of a gift."

"And the best kind!" Kelial laughed. "But no, this is the traditional kind, even if your last affinity cycle was months ago." From his belt he untied a bag, removing a black rock the size of his palm. Holding it out in front of her, he smiled, but Lily noticed a much different emotion in his moss-green eyes. They were the eyes of a jester, of someone who had fun, but she knew him enough to know that they were also the eyes of a survivor, someone who could not take life for granted.

She knew this because she saved his life once, and he'd been trying to save hers ever since.

Accepting his gift with a smile, she studied it. "A rock? I would've been happy with a picture."

He laughed, reaching out to touch her hair in much the same way he had Tinae's. "Hopefully, it'll make those pictures come to life here. Your husband told me it'd be important for your goal."

"Did he?" Lily asked, bemused. She knew that Canas had looked bothered yesterday when he told her about Kelial's visit, but she'd never asked why. More to the point, she was curious about what Kelial meant. Of course, they both knew that the 'goal' was a green Ilia, and Canas' research had been about a means to store magic. She had pointed him towards looking into dragonstones for a full source of magic, but they both knew that obtaining one would be impossible and Canas was interested in the legend of wyvernstones...

_Oh._

"Kelial?" She was looking at his face, the face of one of her best friends. He was smiling but his eyes were sad, and she wanted to ask him why, she wanted to ask him how, but then she thought about Kelial, wounded and in the middle of nowhere. Kelial, surrounded by the corpses of his enemies and his partner.

Kelial, who would have starved long before reaching Corinth.

She stared at him, one of her dearest friends, while questions darted through her mind like children playing tag in the village. Then, she reached out and embraced him. He didn't say anything in return at first, only holding her tightly in return. There was the touch of his lips on the top of her head, and he breathed something that made Lily hurt for him.

"Thank you for not asking."

Kelial was the truest survivor she had ever known. That was why they were best friends.

-0-

_This is magic._

Canas was captivated with magic to the point that nothing else could ever compare. Born into a magic-rich family as he had, this was understandable. Magic, governed by a logic impenetrable by human minds, both fatally simplistic and beautifully complex...it was no wonder that such a power enthralled humans. It certainly commanded his life, pushing him to make decisions for its sake more than his own. That was the path of the scholar, to be enslaved in his life's work in order to retrieve pebbles of knowledge. He simply could not fathom why his own mother, far and beyond the most learned person he had ever known, would hold such a bias for one type of magic over the others; in the end, magic was magic.

_It's beautiful._

Lily sat across from him on the floor of their sitting room, the wyvernstone she had obtained three days ago between them. A Fire tome sat on her lap; there was nothing on his. He simply could not be assured that he would not accidentally invoke a spell, amateur that he was. It was a relief that he recovered his ability to See when he had, as he could now watch, with no small amount of fascination, as Lily activated a spell. The bluish flare of the spell sigil reminded him of Mynthia's eyes, and he remembered what he had overheard three days ago regarding Mynthia's allegiances. It was unimportant for the moment, so he let the subject drop and concentrated on the scene before him.

Lily had already finished extracting the spell; it hung there, an amorphous ball of energy of no distinct color. He knew that the unique quality of anima magic required that the energy become transmuted into the actual spell invoked, while light and elder magic _was_ the energy. The image of the construct he wanted to build around the spell appeared in his mind, and he could feel the tremor of magic as it rolled through him, causing bumps to rise along his body. With some discomfort, he enclosed the spell, which placidly shifted inside its prison. Lily kept the energy from dissipating by cycling through the incantation without completing it, which made him worry about the pressure she must be under. He tried not to let that distract him as the construct he formed was much too powerful for the spell--elder magic was a squall compared to the drizzle of anima--and keeping it together was giving him a headache. With some effort, he let the construct float down to the wyvernstone, then inside of it, where he dispersed the construct. The wyvernstone glowed momentarily, then returned to its normal color. It was far from being filled, which excited him. Surely, that meant a great amount of land could be regenerated by the stone.

However, that would have to wait. As a massive headache began to grow in intensity, he closed his eyes and wished magic could do something for the more mundane aspects of life.

"Canas," Lily whispered near his ear. He could feel her arms encircle his waist, pulling his upper body down. It was easier to comply than not, particularly once his head rested on something that was not exactly soft, but comfortable. Her lap, he surmised, and though he could confirm it by opening his tightly shut eyes, he trusted his judgment. He did not often suffer from headaches, and never from one that felt as if someone were smashing a tea kettle inside his head, so he found relief in her fingers rubbing soothing circles on his temples.

This continued for some time before he found his voice and said, "I feel that I will be able to--"

"Shh," she murmured. "I won't continue without you, so just relax."

The way she said that made him feel as if she meant that in more than the sense of their project, but he could not be sure. Deciding not to dwell on it, he kept his eyes closed and enjoyed the feeling of warmth from her soft words. And, if she knew that he had lain there a bit longer after his headache had subsided, it certainly wasn't there in her smile.

-0-

"What were you thinking?"

Rosliand peered down at Lily from the cliff in front of her house; Lily remembered Rosliand's request, all those years ago, to have her house built on the mountain so she could see far beyond the village's borders. With soft steps, Rosliand walked up to the very edge of the cliff and sat down, crossing her legs. "That I was going to help you." she answered, her eyes still watching Lily.

Lily sighed, deciding not to join Rosliand on the cliff. For the last week, she and Canas had been working nonstop on putting a Fire tome's worth of spells inside the wyvernstone. While Canas was getting better at handling his part of it, Lily felt more lightheaded as the days went on. It was all she could do to climb up to the ledge underneath Rosliand's house. "I don't know about help, but now no one trusts you."

"They'll see."

Lily looked away, wrapping her arms around herself. "You're really certain something will happen."

Rosliand laughed. It was a sharp sound for an Ilian summer morning, when the sun peeked just so through the puffy clouds, and a chill ran through Lily. "I can feel it. When you've been fighting since you were ten years old, you learn to predict when the next battle will arrive. I've known it since that woman came here."

"Cione's not a warrior," Lily said, confident of that much.

"She has a mind and the conviction to use it." There was a smile on Rosliand's face, but her eyes looked as cruel as any Lily had seen on a brigand's face. "Yunice is blinded by her family bonds. Even if she was a good pegasus knight, all she is now is a weak leader."

"Rosliand!" Lily yelled, a white-hot flash of anger flaring inside of her at the scout's words. "How dare you? Grandma Yunice has cared for us for so long--"

"You're blinded too. But, really," Rosliand paused, then shook her head, "that's not bad for a guardian. For a leader, though, it's embarrassing. You're doing something to end conflict permanently, but she can't even make a decision towards affirming Corinth's loyalties. It's pathetic."

_I shouldn't agree with those words. Grandma has been so wonderful to me, to all of us...but..._ "You really need to watch what you say. At this rate, even Tinae will be embarrassed for you."

Rosliand frowned. "I don't insult you. Have a little respect for the woman who taught you how to protect."

"You taught me how to kill. My parents taught me how to protect. Anyway, try not to provoke anyone else." Lily held Rosliand's gaze, clenching her fists as a slight wave of dizziness sloshed over her mind. After a short time, Rosliand inclined her head.

"As you like. I already got the answer I wanted." A small smile did nothing to ease the knifelike deadliness in her eyes. "Do you want to know?"

_All I need to do is protect. Rosliand's plots, Grandma's hesitance...they don't matter._

"No," Lily said, and began to descend the mountain.

-0-

Canas smiled as he watched Mynthia lower her cup, a small smile on her face. It had been too long since they had last talked, and she had seemed bothered when he noticed her as he left the bath house. So, he served her with a smile, and after she thanked him and took a sip, he said, "Congratulations on your engagement, Mynthia."

Her eyes widened as she covered her mouth behind one small hand. "Oh! You...you've heard about it, Mister Canas?"

"I, er, overheard, yes," he replied, sheepish that he had learned about it while kneeling on the floor of the tiny kitchen and trying to get a pot of water to boil. He certainly could not fault Tinae for her...acrebic shrewdness. "You must be very happy," he continued, and Mynthia beamed.

"Yes. I've loved him for a long time, so..." she lowered her head, her long black hair covering much of her face. "Finally, we were able to take this step."

Interested, Canas picked up his cup. "What was the reason you decided to go ahead?"

"My brother will be leaving for Edessa within a few months." Mynthia smiled, though her eyes were downcast. "They've never liked each other, and my brother was...unrelenting in his disapproval."

"Oh, I see." Having taught Rycen for a year now, Canas could see what she meant.

"But, that doesn't mean that I want my brother to leave," she said in a rush of words, surprising him. "I don't want him to die. We don't get along anymore, but I want to protect him. That's why...that's why I think the Union isn't good for us."

Canas took a sip of tea, then thought about what he wanted to say. 'Oh, I see' just did not seem sympathetic enough. "Ah, I...er, well, that would be an understandable reason to agree with the rebellion..." When Mynthia stared at him with wide, stricken eyes, he thought that perhaps he should not have deviated from a tried and true formula.

"You know? How...no, nothing is a secret here." Mynthia pushed her cup away, clearly distressed. "Rian's mother hates me now. She doesn't say anything, but I know. Some people have told me that I'm an embarrassment as an Ilian, but I don't think we should...we shouldn't have to die." Pained, Canas watched as she began to fiddle with the sleeves of her dress, unable or unwilling to look up at him. "Rycen says that I'm betraying everything our parents ever did, but our parents...our parents didn't even care enough about us to have one of them stay with us. If it wasn't for Grandmother, the Union would've forced the both of us to fight..."

_Perhaps Lily would know what to say_, Canas thought, a disquieting feeling of helplessness holding him back. _Mynthia is very different from her twin._ "Mynthia..."

She brought her hands up to her face, covering her eyes. "I don't want to die...I don't want to kill. My brother sh-shouldn't think that it's the only way to live. We should be able to live normal lives. Wh-why should I be the bad one just because all I want to do is marry and have a family? But...even if I have a child, a daughter...the Union will take her. I won't be able to protect her like Grandmother did for me."

Canas said nothing. He was rapidly discovering that there was nothing to say. Slowly, Mynthia looked up at him, her eyes rimmed with red. "Mister Canas, if you have a daughter, don't have any more children," she said, her voice soft.

"W-why is that?" he asked, though he was starting to get an idea why.

"The Union only allows for one child to be left behind, and girls are more valuable than boys." Mynthia smiled, even as fresh tears began to fall. "That's why my brother will never forgive me. He thinks I could be doing so much more than himself, but instead I'm just a disappointment."

-0-

_Small town politics are probably the truest sign that humanity is evil_, Lily thought as she leaned against the wall of her house, pushing one foot back and forth through the thin layer of snow. Around her, the spirits mumbled disconsolately, reflecting most of her thoughts without the stark edge of pessimism. That the spirits were so depressed over the ongoings of the village only made her feel worse. But who could blame them? Former Union members argued among themselves about the usefulness of the current Union and General Cassandra; civilians complained, or reopened new wounds about the relatives and friends they lost, or shouted about the evils of the Union. Invariably, they would bring their arguments to her and expect her to agree. But when she demurred, when she talked about her own ideas about restoring Ilia's land, they looked at her as if she were just a child. As if they could no longer believe.

She knew there was something very wrong with the world when the only people who supported her were a foreigner and an Ilian who had traveled for so long, he might as well be considered foreign.

"Auntie Lily! Auntie Lily!"

Lily looked up, surprised, as she saw Jorah approach her with his older daughter, Rachel, on his shoulders. He swung his daughter down as she giggled, and she ran up to Lily, who held out her arms and hugged the girl. Rachel was a bit weak for a six-year-old, always the first to fall ill, but Lily was untroubled--the girl was a good indicator of what medicines to focus on making. Today, at least, Rachel seemed just as healthy as any other child. Letting go of the girl, Lily smiled up at Jorah. "Jorah, you're still here?" she teased. He was a winter soldier, fighting in other countries during the winter and spring and returning at the arrival of summer.

Jorah ran a hand through his spiky black hair. "Rosliand didn't tell you? General Cassandra's ordered that I stay here and keep a watch on things."

"Mina must be happy," Lily said, smiling. With a grin, he leaned against the wall.

"I don't know which one of us is happier." He glanced at his daughter, who was now making a snow castle, his affection obvious on his face. "It's nice to be more than a part-time father."

Her smile tapering a bit, Lily stood next to him. "So, anything I can do for you? Or Mina? I've been working on something for that flu going around."

"I was interested in talking to your husband. Rycen learned a lot from his teaching."

And here she had been worried when Canas had first approached her with his idea. Happy to be proven wrong, Lily clasped her hands in front of her. "I'm sure he'd really appreciate hearing that."

"Good." After a sidelong glance that made Lily suspicious, Jorah closed his eyes. "Actually, I'd like to talk to you, too. You're one of the few people around who hasn't declared a side. Neither have I or Mina, but that you haven't is interesting." She watched him as he took a deep breath, his jaw rigid, then opened his eyes to give her a look of appraisal. "If this sort of thing had happened while your parents were still alive, they'd be right out there, trying to talk everyone into calming down."

Lily sighed. She felt she was doing that much too often these days. "My parents were the kindest people I've ever known. But...it's obvious that what this situation has done is bring out everyone's resentments, and that's not something kindness can cure. The only thing that can be done is to make sure that we're all together where it counts."

"I like that," he said, but his smile was sad. "But I'm sure you've heard what some people think of you because of that kind of thinking. 'You're the guardian', right?"

She waved a hand in dismissal. "I shouldn't need to protect them from each other. That's just pathetic."

"You'd be surprised." Turning away from her, Jorah crouched down. "Snowflake, are you done? We need to talk to Auntie Lily's husband, remember?"

Lily watched as father and daughter talked about the towering lump of snow Rachel had built, and she smiled at the thought of one day playing with her own child. The playing sounded like fun; it was everything else that scared her about being a parent. "So, are you considering having Rachel learn how to read?" she asked as Jorah held out a hand to his daughter.

He nodded. "She's incredibly smart, even though she's so young." Rachel beamed at the compliment. "And...Elysia's a very strong child. Just over a year old, and she's already crawling and walking everywhere. Very coordinated." Shaking his head, his natural good cheer seemed to come back to him. "Thanks for the talk. We haven't done much of that since I first left for Edessa."

"Then stay around longer," Lily said, trying to affect a lighthearted tone. "Mina would love you even more if you did that."

Chuckling, he opened the door. "When you put it like that, you have a point."

When he entered her house, Lily stopped pretending to smile. They had been playmates as children, so he didn't mind her jokes, but she was uncomfortable knowing that he had already picked out his daughters' paths in life.

_It can't be helped_, she tried to soothe herself. _Until we figure out how to use the stored magic, it's the only solution._

-0-

Out of the corner of his eye and over the top of his tome, Canas watched as Lily brushed out her long hair. Every sweep downward, every muttered curse at the sparse tangles she encountered, he observed it all with interest. No matter how stressed and irritable she was, there was a certain serenity she seemed to possess during that simple act. If she were not facing away from him, sitting at the foot of the bed as she was, he imagined he would see a softness to her features, a light to her eyes that expressed her joy towards life and living. She had a face ideal for expressing such positive feelings, lovely and symmetrical. Whenever they worked on storing magic, her entire face seemed to be filled with proud elation, no matter the sweat that clung to her brow or the tremble of her hands as they held onto her Fire tome.

There were so many reasons to restore Ilia: his own need to prove to himself that elder magic could be used for good and Mynthia's tears, revolutionizing magical theory and the possibility of eating a fresh apple. But, imaging the look upon Lily's face at that first moment was the one he kept to himself, the secret that made him keep smiling even as the strain of creating constructs threatened to overwhelm him.

He was very fond of her, this was true. And then there were the times when he felt that 'fond' was not nearly strong enough of a word. That was his secret too, something for him to examine during the early morning after a villager would wake them up for Lily's expertise. Two little secrets, that was all--

"We should move to Etruria."

His train of thought derailed messily, and he was left blinking in confusion as he tried to recover. "Pardon?" he asked. She shook her head, not turning to face him as she threaded her fingers through her hair, weaving sections of milky green jade into a plait.

"I've always wanted to know what lettuce tastes like. Or fruits. Or what it's like to walk barefooted along summer grass. I'd like to take all that for granted. And, Etruria has a large magic community, and I'm sure some of them would find our work ambitious instead of...instead of a mere child's dream." Tying off her braid, she picked up the brush from her lap and stood, turning to look at him. He studied her expression and was unable to tell if she was just being facetious or not. "Maybe my sister had the right idea, hm?" she asked with a thin-lipped smile.

"I...highly doubt that," he answered, deciding that it was the former. "Lily, is something wrong?"

"I'm just annoyed," she replied, gesturing with the hand that held the brush. "Everyone's opinions, their expectations, the things I've been hearing about what I should do...it's too much. I'm not blind; I can see what the problem is, and I have ideas on how to solve it." Crossing her arms, she frowned. "But no one cares about my ideas."

_Is she...pouting?_ he wondered. "I care," he volunteered. Someone had to, after all.

She glanced at him, and he could only watch her in amusement as she threw up her hands. "I'd hope so, all things considering." Watching her walk over to her nightstand, his good cheer evaporated when he noticed a certain hardness in her profile, particularly her narrowed eyes. He was proven correct once she looked over at him after placing down her brush; there was a definite cast of annoyance over her features. "Well, no matter what Tinae says, you're not blind," she huffed, her gaze flickering up to meet his own. "So, after seeing how everyone's acting, what do you think I should do?"

What a question to be faced with at bedtime. Canas wondered if there was a 'correct' answer. "Hm...well, perhaps you shouldn't think about it too much."

A dismissive sound escaped from between her clenched teeth. "Not think? I didn't think you were allowed to say that and still call yourself a scholar." She climbed into bed, her expression unchanging.

"Well, there's something to be said about productive thinking," he said, unperturbed. After putting the tome aside, he decided to elaborate. "As I recall, we decided to avoid much of the current situation due to our current project. Should we abort that idea in favor of a temporary solution?"

_It might not be a bad idea_, he considered. _Mynthia and Rycen...children are being affected the longer this goes on._

She stared at him for a long moment; so long, in fact, that he was unnerved. Perhaps it would have been best not to add on to the questions already weighing her mind? Yet, this was not a decision he felt comfortable in making. Then she embraced him, resting her head just under his chin as she leaned against his side. "I thought so. I just needed to make sure. Thank you." He felt her lips on his cheek, a simple, intimate caress that touched him deeply.

"Y-you're welcome," he murmured, the foremost thought in his mind being that, if he lowered his head just so, he could catch the soft scent of irial clinging to her skin. It was such a nice smell, that of home. He wrapped an arm around her, marveling at his lack of hesitance in doing so.

A lot had changed since he first arrived in Corinth, two, nearly three years ago. So many wonderful things, he noted. And, even in the current times, there was still Lily.

There was always Lily.

She moved away from him, so he loosened his grip, but all she did was look up at him. He blushed, wondering if she expected him to kiss her, but before he could make a move she put her hand on his cheek. Her fingers touched the thin chain that attached his monocle to his collar. "You know, right before I met you I was alone. I had friends, but my family was gone. And, when I did meet you, I considered you as someone to take care of. But...you're amazing, Canas, really incredible. I..." She smiled at him, her eyes shining with their characteristic sincerity, and he could not help but pull her a bit closer. "You're my family."

It was strange. For much of his life, he was used to indifference among his family and his peers due to his beliefs and nomadic trend of his adult life. However, meeting Lily had changed all that. He had never thought of himself as lonely, not particularly, but he had to admit how enriching it was to live with her. And now, hearing how much she appreciated him, he was touched in a way that he did not believe words could accurately convey.

Oh, how she made him feel...it was something beyond study.

He leaned forwardout of a vague desire to do _something_, but a hand on his chest made him stop. "May I?" she asked, and he realized she was referring to his monocle. He nodded, smiling, and she smiled in return as she unattached the monocle's chain from his collar, then took the monocle and reached over him to put it on his night stand. He watched the blur that was her as she started towards the lantern, then stopped. Instead of extinguishing the flames, she sat astride on his lap. One of her hands ran up the back of his head, ruffling his hair and making him blush. She shifted on him as fingertips from her other hand trickled down the side of his face, but all he could concentrate on was the hazy curve of her smile.

"You're not going to put out the lanterns?" he asked, fully aware of how wrong that question was at the present moment.

"Later," she murmured, and she leaned up and he closed his eyes and, for a long time, there was the scent of irial, sweet and familiar, and there was her.

-lights out-

Nn...that's a bit much. Thank you for reading, and see you next chapter!


	22. Guardians

Shadows Under the Oak Tree

(C) Intelligent Systems and Nintendo

(Note: Giant-sized chapter. Get comfortable.)

-0-

22. Guardians  
(_Stand tall, Corinth._)

Lily felt the presence of another person in her bedroom and mentally smiled, even as she shifted underneath various blankets, quilts and furs. The footsteps were slow, soft, and very obviously Canas trying not to spill any of her medicinal tea, so she didn't bother to open her eyes. This had been going on for almost a month now, after she'd caught the flu that had been going through the village since the early summer. Considering she'd been trying to treat it, she supposed she had been bound to catch it sooner or later. Of course, she wasn't going to risk Canas getting it, so she made him move to the other bedroom. However, he insisted on preparing her medicine, which needed to be taken enough times during the day that she was surprised he was still healthy.

If she had known she was the one who was going to fall sick, she would've never made it taste like orange peel.

She thought she would hear Canas put her cup on her nightstand and leave the room, but instead it seemed like he was lingering beside her. That made her struggle to hide the smile on her face before it could alert him to her more-awake-than-usual status. This was the first time she'd actually been this conscious in a while, and she couldn't help but be curious as to what he was going to do next. She remembered the days when he would stutter and apologize if she was the least bit annoyed; he was still a bit shy, still very sweet, but nowadays he seemed comfortable with her. _What would he do in this case?_ she wondered. It would be nice to get a kiss on her forehead...

A hand touched her face, fingertips brushing back strands of hair from her forehead. She lay still, suddenly confused. _His hands aren't that calloused..._ she thought. _Maybe it's Kelial or Tinae?  
_  
She opened her eyes just in time to watch the knife sink into her right shoulder.

A scream tore out of her throat as she tried to wrench herself away, her attacker still holding onto the dagger as she struggled. It felt like fire and excruciating pain, building towards a crescendo of agony as the blade ripped through flesh and skin, slamming against bone before finally being dislodged from her shoulder. She could feel her blood soaking her sleeping robes, the wild, trembling ache pulsing from the wound, and in blind terror she reached towards her attacker with nothing in mind other than _stophimithurtsithurts!_ Her left hand, dominant and unaffected, grabbed at something that felt like skin and stubble; her eyes were squelched tight against the hot tears. All she could feel was agony and nausea and something in her hand that felt like she could hurt it as much as she hurt.

Her hand felt like she had thrust it into the center of a brightly-burning hearth, before she felt nothing at all.

When she came to her chest felt like it was compressing itself, her heart pounding in the same wild rhythm as her shoulder. That she hadn't died from channeling innate magic at such an intensity surprised her; her work in extracting magic and keeping it pliant must have strengthened her family skill, though not enough to stop her from feeling like she was dying. She wanted to be sick, but she'd done enough of that in the last few weeks to reconsider and take deep, gulping breaths.

The room stunk of burning flesh.

It was a while before she felt ready enough to undergo the momentous task of opening her eyes. Her lashes were sticky with tears and she blinked uncomfortably before using the back of her hand to wipe away the stuff. As her hand passed by, she clenched it, then winced at the pain. Turning over her hand, she stared at her palm for a long moment.

After she left the privy (_I've already got blood on the bed and that's hard enough to clean_, she had thought while hunched over), she entered her workroom and pulled out two homemade vulneraries from the cooling chamber, roughly tugging off her sleeping robes and plopping down against the door frame until she was mostly nude. Her body shook as she pried the cork top off with help from her teeth, then poured the entire concoction onto the wound. As the blue liquid sizzled inside the open wound, she let her feetbanged against the opposite side of the door frame as she strained against it, clenching her teeth as her flesh began to painfully knit together. The burn was in case of infection, her small contribution to the original formula, something she cursed herself for at the moment. After the irritation subsided to a steady ache, she smiled ruefully, opened up the second bottle, and poured that as well.

She was much woozier but in far less pain once she stood again, which helped towards planning her next step. Her first thought was a ramble on rebellion, almost being killed in her bed, and why did Rosliand have to be right? Her second thought was much simpler.

_Where's Canas?_

She didn't bother to check all the rooms, not while she was nude and the front door was probably open; she merely tried to feel for his magical aura, unique as it was. The only way she would've been confused was if Lady Niime was around, but instead she found auras that felt more like an anima user's. There was one in her house, several outside and moving about. This bit of information made her frown; most of the mages in Ilia tended to keep to themselves. Why would they band together and attack her or the village?

When she entered her bedroom again, she gave the body lying beside the bed a hard stare before pulling out some underclothes and a dress. This body was giving off a magical aura, which confused her as to why he'd use a dagger before she realized that she could be as easily read as they could. But the strangest part of it all was that the young man (she assumed; she could no longer tell by his face) was dressed like a bandit would normally dress; shabbily, yet there were peculiar markings on his cloak, a sort of label as to which bandit group he belonged to. But, since only notorious bandit groups even had a logo...

_So, we've been bracing ourselves against rebellion, but instead we get bandits._

Out of the clothes she had pulled out, her pegasus knight uniform copy was one of them. Shrugging, she put it on over her long-skirted dress before donning some long gloves for extended magic casting. Her left palm itched as the material rubbed against it, which she tried to ignore. While she looked around her room, she noticed a small note on her nightstand, which she had to step over the corpse to reach.

_Lily, I went to deliver some medicine to Rosliand. Please sleep well. --C.  
_

She also made sure to take the bandit's Fire tome, which was hanging from his belt; all the magic storing she had been doing depleted her supply of tomes, and it was only practical to make use of his. Leaving the room, she grabbed her cloak off the door hook and pulled it on before quietly closing the door.

It smelled much better outside.

-0-

"It hurts! It _hurts_!"

"Bring the vulneraries over here! And wrapping cloth!"

_Ah, I see now_, Canas thought as he surveyed the chaotic on-goings inside Rosliand's house, _this is the result of war._

The sitting room was cramped with villagers who had managed to escape the initial raid. He had already been inside the house, believing that he would only stay long enough to deliver a packet of flu medicine to Rosliand before returning home to make Lily's medicine. But when people began stumbling in, some with injuries incurred during their flight, Canas only needed to step out onto the cliff to find the reason.

Dimly, he could See magic auras scattered around the village.

All the wounds were burns, most of them fairly minor from what he was overhearing. At his vantage spot, next to the front door, he could see those who needed treatment occupying the couches; Rycen was one of the patients being treated even now, his sleeved rolled up to reveal an ugly-looking burn on his bicep. Canas was unsure as to the name of the woman treating Rycen with a vulnerary-soaked cloth, except that she appeared to be an older version of little Rachel, his newest student. Mynthia was talking with Lady Yunice, whose head was bowed as they occupied a corner of the room with a few other ladies. There were children huddling with their parents, or only a singular parental unit, though he could not deduce from this how many injured and dead were inside the village proper--single parents were not the scandal they might have been in other countries.

With a sigh, Canas exited the dwelling. Outside, there were many people as well, except most of them were outfitting themselves with weapons taken from the blacksmith's house. He remembered when Rosliand had pointed out the building and told him what she had intended for it, but at that time...did he truly believe that her words were that of a dire prophecy?

It had been only the beginning of summer then. Next month was the Festival of the Ice Dragon, or two years since he had proposed, and the month after would mark three years in Corinth for him.

_My...how time flies. I have truly enjoyed my life here...surely this tragedy does not mark the end?_

The atmosphere was more subdued here, complemented by the darkening clouds of imminent snow. He saw Tinae surrounded by her family; she was stringing a bow, occasionally reaching to point out something in her son's bow, or to pat her daughter, who looked no more older than little Rachel. She smiled at her husband when he handed her a large glove that Canas was familiar with as mainly worn by archers, and he refocused his attention elsewhere because he was beginning to feel rather strange.

Sir Jorah gave orders to a group of men and women, occasionally pointing at areas further below the mountain with one arm while the other cradled a young child. Canas supposed Sir Jorah was setting up a defensive line should the attackers attempt to further their destructive aims. Little Rachel was by her father's side, one arm wrapped around his leg, watching the people listening to her father. Sometimes he would lower his hand to stroke Rachel's face, or brush her hair back, but he always kept his gaze on the people he was commanding.

_Everyone is always doing their duty_, Canas remembered Lily saying once, so long ago, and he looked away.

He...he should not have left home this morning. There were malevolent magic-users in the village, perfectly willing to harm children, to murder innocents, and Lily was _ill_...

"She'll be all right."

Startled, Canas stumbled before righting himself once again, staring with a bit of consternation at Kelial, who had been standing just behind him while leaning on a spare lance as if it were a particularly dangerous walking stick. "Ah...I, er..." he mumbled, unsure of what to say. Around Lily's friends, it seemed that he had a penchant for voicing the exact opinion that would offend them tremendously. Also, he had no idea that Kelial was a mind-reader.

"No, really, she will be," Kelial continued, smiling. "I mean, I've known her longer than you, so of course I'd have more faith in her, but--"

"That...would be a rather inaccurate statement to make," Canas interrupted, mildly insulted by the insinuation--though, it was much more than a subtle comment, was it not? "Lily has been suffering the effects of the flu for quite some time now, just as Rosliand is."

Kelial looked as if he were about to respond in a friendly manner when a hand landed on Canas' shoulder, startling him once again. "I am...not that sick," Rosliand intoned, her voice sounding throaty and rough. However, when Canas turned towards her, intending to apologize, he noticed that she appeared pale and shivering, dark circles blunting her usually sharp gaze.

Apparently Kelial noticed as well, reaching out to steady Rosliand with his free hand when she wobbled. "Woah, you okay there?"'

"Fine." She shrugged off the hand on her shoulder, and Canas watched in silence as she raised her arms. "Excuse me, everyone," she said in her normal tone, and it was quite the marvel at how she captured the attention of everyone outside. "I will engage the enemy now."

"Is that really wise, Rosliand?" Sir Jorah asked, shifting the baby in his arms. "They're bandits and in the village itself, so if they're provoked they will definitely respond. I may sound like a coward, but this is not a battle I would like to fight. There are...far too many precious things to protect here, and most of us are not accustomed to fighting mages."

_I would agree with that, but..._ Canas thought, only to be interrupted with Rosliand's response. "I'm not sure they're only bandits, but in either case, who is to say that they won't decide to slaughter us in the end?"

"I understand, but, with all due respect, you're not at your best right now."

"I have faced far worse in unfamiliar places. But if it pleases you, I'll take Mister Canas with me."

The _Me?_ in Canas' mind was only second to Tinae and Kelial's simultaneous "**Him?**" though Canas felt that the two did not have to sound so audibly outraged. He was merely curious as to Rosliand's reasoning.

"You can't be serious about that!" Tinae expostulated. _Or was it 'exploded with'?_ Canas wondered. The woman was actually shaking in what he considered was barely suppressed rage. "I'll go! I mean, he, he--he's the one who left Lily behind!"

There it was, the 'wyvern in the room' as the popular phrase went, and Canas flinched to hear it. He understood all too well Tinae's anger because he, too, was angry with himself. Even if he did not know that to leave her this morning could mean...terrible things, he could not help but feel responsible should anything happen to her.

"Hey, uh, Tinae, it's not like he knew this was gonna happen..." Kelial said, surprising Canas out of his thoughts. Out of the few people he could have ever expected to defend him, Canas would not have imagined Kelial to be one of them. "And besides, that means he's got to make up for it, if not for you, then for himself."

_Yes, that is true._

"Let's go," Rosliand murmured, tugging on his sleeve. He went willingly enough, before he remembered something of great importance.

"I don't have a spell tome--"

"Here," Rosliand said, pulling a tome out from inside her cloak. Somewhat confused, Canas took it, wondering if she believed he could cast magic from any sort of tome. However, it was a perfectly unused Flux tome, which only added to the various questions he had about Rosliand.

_Why does she own this?_

As he followed Rosliand, he caught the glances being thrown his way. Sir Jorah smiled, and little Rachel waved. Kelial gave him a nod, an oddly neutral expression on the other man's face. Tinae glared at him, and he could not help but remember--

_She's like a sister to me. No, she is my sister. So, if you ever hurt her, if you cause her to be hurt, I'll kill you._

--and he looked away from her and tried to focus on the battle that was to come. He truly believed he had improved greatly since he accepted the onus of elder magic, particularly through the containment efforts, but an actual battle was quite another thing altogether!

"Ah, Rosliand, if I may inquire..." She did not look up at him, but he decided to continue anyway. "Why did you want me to accompany you? There are those who are far more experienced in battle than I..."

She said nothing for a while, her head lowered as they traversed the bumpy path downward. Then, just before they were to reach the smoother path that sloped downward into the clearing after the oak grove, she cleared her throat. "I know something of the magic triangle. As long as Lily is lost to us, you are our only magical support. Also, you are a friend, so..."

Bewildered, he did not move when Rosliand leaned backwards, against him. Even her normally straight posture was slumped, almost casual. For a long time, they stayed in this manner, until she reached for his hand and brought it up to her forehead. "You're cold," she said; however, Canas knew that was not a complete truth.

"Er, you're running a fever. Perhaps you should not--"

"I can't stop just yet." She moved away from him, turning to face him with cloudy eyes. "I am not a guardian, but I understand duty. If Lily is indisposed, I will complete her duty." Smiling, Rosliand closed her eyes; when she opened them again, he thought they appeared to be a bit clearer. "If she can depend on you, I will as well."

He watched her take to the rest of the path with her usual standard of competence. That she was depending on him unnerved him; Rosliand had never appeared to be the least bit weak or needing of assistance before, and that she chose him now was unsettling.

_Is her faith in me completely warranted? I...I'm not sure..._

-0-

The smoldering body fell with a thud, melting the snow around it. Lily sighed, feeling lightheaded from the excessive use of magic it took to fell the bandit. A combination of nausea and sleepiness were not conducive to an easy victory--there were various puddles in the snow due to her inability to focus.

"Lady Lily?" Camille asked, drawing Lily's attention. A woman who had come to Corinth with her elder brother Aberforth many years before at Lily's mother's invitation, Camille was now holding Aberforth's body outside of the small house they had shared. There were scorch marks on his clothing and body; a sword rested just beyond his outstretched hand. "His heart...I can't hear his heart anymore..."

Lily knelt beside the older woman and embraced her, closing her eyes and fighting the urge to fall asleep. "I'm so sorry. This is my fault and you don't know how sorry I am..." She struggled to hold back her tears, remembering all too well a story her father had told her once.

_And the girl cried and cried, only indulging in her own pity at the expense of others. Because of this, her tears froze and the girl could no longer see anything at all._

"...He was trying to protect me..."

"I know. Trust me, I know..."

"...Good." Lily felt an arm wrap around her waist, a loose embrace. "There might be others still alive here. Since we're in the front of the village we couldn't escape with everyone else, but maybe there's someone else who needs help. Lady Lily, you need..."

Softly, Lily exhaled. "I know. I just wanted--needed--you to know that someone cares." Standing, she reached over to pick up the fallen sword before handing it to Camille. "Go inside your bedroom and be very quiet. Just in case another bandit attacks...I hope you won't need to use this. I'll clear out the village."

"Oh, they're bandits. I thought..." Camille laughed, a hollow bark. "I sort of thought it was the Union punishing us for not declaring that we were against the rebellion..."

"They would've sent pegasus knights, then," Lily said without thinking, then shook her head. _I can't believe I just said that._ "Um, no, just bandits. Please Camille, go hide."

After Camille closed the door to the house, Lily looked down upon the body of the kindly man who once made wooden toys for the children of the village. He made her one too, even though he came here when she was already thirteen cycles past. They both supported the Union...but that didn't matter after death, right?

_I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry you had to try and do my job for me._

Closing her eyes, she tried to sense more bandits in the area. She'd already killed a few; it seemed like their leader had told them not to fear, that they could spread out without even needing a partner for support. Rosliand would've been proud to know how she had taken advantage of that, because it was Rosliand who had taught her battle tactics.

It was also Rosliand who had advised her to aim for the head of magic-using opponents. Even with increased resistance towards magic, it still hurt to receive a fire spell to the face.

_I hope she's all right. Most of the village should be there...it's the only place to escape to in an emergency._

_Canas is there. _

The thought calmed her, even as she caught two auras close to her position. She didn't want Canas involved in any of this. The memory of the time they fought together, his succumbing to the dark magic he still insisted on using made her shudder even now, as sweat trickled down her neck and soaked the high collar of the pegasus knight uniform.

She found the bandits easily enough, though she was surprised to find there were actually three altogether. Two of them were dressed in the same manner as all the other bandits she had encountered; all three were sitting around a small pile of objects they had undoubtedly taken from the homes of her friends and neighbors. She clenched a fist as she approached them, not caring about stealth. They weren't strong enough to hurt her.

Two of them stood up once they noticed her; the plainly-dressed one only stared at her with wide eyes. "Lady, don't you know who we are?" said the one who seemed more likely to attack first. The spirits agreed, pointing out how his hand strayed near his spell tome.

"You're common bandits with strange accents," she answered in a dismissive tone. A lazy roll of nausea bothered her as she began to think of the incantation--_damn this flu_. "And I'm giving you one warning to leave."

"Wrong. We've been trained in magic in Etruria, the birthplace of magic. Ilian magic can't compare."

Lily, the last heir of a thousand-year magical tradition, bristled at these words. "You would be wrong." She raised her left hand, cradling her Fire tome with her other arm. "Are you going to leave?"

As angry as she was at them, at herself, she didn't want to kill them. Fighting, using her talent in magic to kill instead of heal the land...she would never find enjoyment in it.

The man who insulted the Ilian magical tradition raised his arm. "We won't be pushed around by you!" He began his incantation, and she sighed in return. With a flick of her wrist, she mentally activated the spell, the spell sigil glowing bright with energy. Whispering the trigger word, she watched as the energy transmuted into fire before streaking down from the sky. Some of it smashed harmlessly against the mage's inherent magical shield, but she still saw the flames reach him, searing his face and hair. He screamed, losing his concentration as his counter spell splattered against the snow in front of her.

Before she could cast a second spell, the other standing mage had completed his spell and sent it flying at her. She raised the hand holding her Fire tome, concentrating her aura in a shield guaranteed to negate most of the fireball. When the spell hit her shield, it singed her hand, but it was the growing nausea that affected her more as she continued to attack.

By the time the second bandit fell, the nausea had mostly subsided in favor of fatigue. A ripple of heat rushed up through her body as well, making her uncomfortable and angry. The third bandit was still on the ground, and when she glanced at him, he held his hands up in surrender. "Please! Please don't hurt me! I-I'm Ilian too!"

_Teal hair, indigo eyes. Dressed like a civilian. He doesn't have an accent, either_, Lily thought, an eyebrow raised in disbelief. "But you're in an Etrurian bandit group?"

"I'm a hostage from...from Lamia." The man lowered his head. "They tried to raid the town a week ago, but some of the higher officials forged a, an alliance with them. They were told that Corinth was filled with riches from the mountain, that the only obstacle was a guardian who was, um, not going to be a problem for the bandit leader, so they were free to...to do as they liked. All they had to do was leave Lamia alone."

For a single instant, Lily felt a powerful urge to hit him, to make him take back his words. What he said couldn't be true. No. No matter what was happening in Ilia, no Ilian, no village would be so brazen as to actually betray...

_It can't be true. No. I won't believe it!_

Instead she said, "Give me names."

The man, really a young one around Rycen's age, flinched. "T-they betrayed you, but I...I can't..."

"Why? Is it because it's a lie?"

"No! I, I have honor...if you go fight the bandits, kill them, then can't we all just forget this? Lamia..." He hid his face in his gloved hands, his shoulders quaking. "Lamia is my home, my family. C-could you betray yo-your family?"

She was touched by pity, but she was still suspicious. Who was to say that this wasn't just an elaborate act? How could she judge when she felt like falling to the ground and sleeping? What can she say when she still had more battles to win today before Corinth would be safe again?

In the end, she said the only thing she could say, the only thing she could tell about the young man beyond her own discomfort and anxiety. "You know what your family did was wrong."

Haltingly, he raised his head. There were tears in his eyes. To her clinical eye, she saw a yellowing bruise on one cheek and that his nose had been broken, maybe recently. Suddenly, she hated herself for being too hard on the boy; it didn't seem as though he was lying about being a hostage.

_That Lamia would barter a child just to save themselves from being raided...or is there more?_

"The master of the armory, Laien," he said, no longer stumbling over his words. He closed his eyes. "The mistress of the general store, Wilma. Master Pietro, Miss Maia, and Mister Matthias of the town council. And, um, the innkeeper, Mistress Cione."

Lily would never claim to be very clever or insightful. She knew the hearts and minds of everyone in Corinth because there were very few secrets in such a small village. The other villages didn't matter in her everyday thoughts. They didn't affect her.

But _that_ name...

_It's not just to protect their town from these bandits. They were also using the bandits to get rid of us since we didn't join them...maybe they thought us a threat. They call themselves 'true Ilians'...how disgusting._

"I see," she said, because for once she really did. She could see just how depraved even her own country people were. She could see her friends and neighbors dying for ideas with half a thought put behind them. She could see so much.

She wished she were blind.

"Miss...?" the boy asked, lowering his hands from his face. Lily smiled, though it felt brittle.

"Actually, I'm married. I've been married for over a year now. We've been planning wonderful things together, but now I don't even know if he's safe. He should be, except that this bandit leader is probably going to the mountain to kill everyone because we have nothing of value other than each other." She laughed, but it sounded like sobbing to her. "All because of this stupid rebellion...well." She bent down to one of the bandits she had killed and ripped long strips from their marked cloaks. After yanking on them to check their strength, she turned to the boy. "I've got to go, but I have a feeling that you'll run away if I leave you alone."

Rosliand had always been impressed with her ability to create a variety of knots. They were helpful in many things, like tying down patients who insisted on moving injured limbs, tying together large parcels, and tying down shamans. Of course Rosliand was impressed, because it was a skill Lily had learned long before she had even met Rosliand.

It was something Iris had left her, other than a duty Lily knew she had failed.

-0-

"They're coming," Rosliand said, before succumbing to a coughing fit that sounded thick with phlegm. Canas watched her, concerned; Lily had the flu as well, but her symptoms seemed to pale in comparison to Rosliand's. There was more nausea than coughing, for one.

Once the fit subsided, he looked ahead, down the path through the oak grove. Indeed, there were a few mages striding towards the grove. He and Rosliand were unseen, concealed by the mountain. Anxiety crawled inside him, and he clutched the borrowed tome a bit tighter. "What shall we do?" he whispered. She looked up at him, her cheeks reddened and her breathing ragged, and he was sorry he had asked.

"We kill them," she said in a bland tone. He flinched. "Does it bother you?"

It did, he had to admit. He had an instinctive dislike for harming others. Yet, there were people depending on his success, and to defend them meant to use elder magic in all its destructive capabilities.

_Is this how Lily feels, too?_

"...Ah, somewhat. But you can depend on me," he said the last sentence in a rush of words. Rosliand stared at him, her expression unreadable, before violently turning her head aside and coughing into her cloak.

"Good," she managed to rasp out once she raised her head again. "We will wait for them to enter the clearing."

They watched as one bandit, then another, entered the oak grove path. Canas held back a sigh of relief at the low numbers, which was a fortunate thing as three more bandits followed them. There seemed to be yet another person behind all of them, but Canas could never claim to be gifted with excellent vision even in his left eye. He squinted, adjusting his monocle, but stopped once the first person entered the clearing.

_Lily's parents are buried here_, he thought as the mage trampled over the spot where Lily would always kneel. Rosliand stood, and he made to follow her. _Master Harnan, Lady Viola, I fully intend to find your daughter. So, if I may ask for one boon, I would appreciate it if--_

Pulling out her sword with a slick sigh, Rosliand charged.

_--I could live long enough to accomplish that!_

With the Flux tome clutched in one hand, he entered the clearing just as Rosliand reached the first mage. Her sword swung upwards and blood flew in rivets, staining the pristine snow. He felt a terrible need to avert his eyes but knew he could not, that he would just have to bear the horrible visions of battle. She had already moved past the first, yet the bandit still lived as he dropped to his knees. Clutching at the wound on his abdomen, the mage reached for his spell tome and Canas knew he had to act.

It was much easier this time around. His experience in forming constructs made it simple to conjure such a field for himself, and he extended his hand and muttered words from a time when dragons roamed alongside men. He had never felt so conscious, so alive while casting the spell; the first time was regrettably more a matter of instinct than actual knowledge, and elder magic was nothing if not about knowledge. It felt as if something was being pulled deep inside himself, not like ice and _I can't breathe_, and he kept part of his concentration on maintaining the construct to protect himself as words continued to fall from his lips.

The pull became a tug, the tug a yank, and the result was magic.

Thick globules of shadowy energy appeared just above his hand, melding only briefly into an orb before sinking into the ground. With a gesture and a narrowing of his eyes, he marked the spot where the bandit knelt with a target crest. The magic converged on this spot, smothering the mage with energies that Canas could now admit were malevolent in nature. With a scream, the bandit fell, his color nearly as white as the snow, and Canas shuddered as he dispelled the construct. He paused for a moment, mentally reaffirming his condition, and found it satisfactory.

Another scream, this time not as high-pitched, and Canas looked up to find the second bandit Rosliand had wounded in the interim in the process of casting a spell at him. His eyes widened in surprise as he rushed to recreate the experience, but even as he began invoking the spell he could only watch as an anima spell sigil hovered in midair before the energy was converted into fire.

With a shrill whistle, an arrow sunk into the mage's forehead.

Blinking, Canas dispelled the energies he had managed to conjure and stepped to the side, neatly avoiding the fireball before he glanced up at the mountain. On one of the lower ledges, which was still quite a ways from the bottom of the mountain, he could make out the shapes of Tinae, Rian, and a few other people, all archers. Tinae made a gesture at him, which he understood to mean that he should continue his offensive, and he smiled and raised a hand to acknowledge their help before turning his attention to the battle.

It continued much in this refrain, with him assisting Rosliand by finishing off the wounded bandits. Once, she jumped past her opponent, grabbing him from behind and slicing his throat in such a way that a veritable fountain of blood gushed from the wound. The sight reminded him of the crystalline fountains in Aquleia, and he had to take deep breaths to quell the sensation in his stomach. He much preferred the effects of his own magic, frightening as they were, and was grateful when she returned to nimbly dodging spells before striking once and moving on.

By the time they had defeated the fifth mage, they were deep inside the pathway of the grove. At the end of it, a woman with long golden-red hair stood, dressed in much the same way as the other bandits. However, Canas felt something from her, a palpable energy that was intimidating because it signified her strength. Seeing her aura confirmed this: she was a sage. However, it seemed that she was a much more powerful sage than even Lily, and that worried him. He could not hope to match his wife in power, and Lily only excelled in speed and skill.

Ahead of him, Rosliand was coughing from her exertion, so much so that it appeared she might keel over from its force. Oddly enough, the sage was not even looking in Rosliand's direction, but rather at the mountain. As he approached Rosliand, he noticed that the magic tome the sage held was gold in color, similar in appearance to a Thunder tome.

"Rosliand, are you all right?" he asked, but she was still in the throes of her violent coughing fit. At the end of the path, the sage raised her hand. This struck him as strange, because it appeared as though she was about to cast a spell at the mountain, which was too far away--

_The distance from a mountain cliff to maybe the end of the village before coming up to the oaks, if we're talking about specially-designed long-distance magic. That's not too far, even if you account for height, and that's only for the Bolting tome, anyway._

It was insufficient in area to enrich a plot of a land with magic, but in the case of casting a single spell...

_Oh, no._

He Saw the spell sigil, and turned to the mountain just in time to see the lightning fall. There were screams, rising and falling with the sudden howl of wind, where the archers had stood.

"N-no..." he heard Rosliand mutter as she began to rise. He put his hand on her shoulder.

"Rosliand, you shouldn't--"

She elbowed him in the chest, shoving him aside. Brandishing her bloody sword, she charged towards the sage. He hurried after her, the pain hindering him, and wished that he could reach her before--

The sage pulled out another tome from her cloak, and Canas recognized it as being similar to a Fire tome, yet it had its differences just like the last. _Is it Elfire, then?_ he wondered, but then he saw another spell sigil and he knew he would not reach Rosliand in time.

_No!_

Ropes of fire swung downwards as they were transmuted from the sigil, then arched and converged at a single point, creating a ball of fire that flew towards Rosliand. He could only watch helplessly as it struck her just as she appeared to dodge, immolating her in a column of fire. She screamed, stumbling away and falling down, where she rolled in a desperate attempt to put out the flames.

_She trusted me to assist her._

Rarely was Canas angry. Truth be told, he found anger to be unnatural. It made his heart pound, his mind hazy with only the object of his anger festering inside like something malignant. He much preferred to transmute such an ugly emotion into something more vague, such as disappointment or dismay. He also preferred to simply avoid the object of his anger, and thus he lived a life of careful placement and displaced emotions, which was satisfactory to him.

Anger sparked elder magic like nothing else.

He was instinctively forming the construct and casting the spell before his mind was fully aware, and only then did he approach within casting distance. He could feel the elder magic latching onto the negative emotions growing inside of him. His despair over his wife's fate, the disgust he felt towards himself for leaving her behind--even if he had not _known_--and now the anger he turned towards himself at failing to keep a friend's promise. It all spiraled together to form something he could not understand, and the pull this time was a great wrenching tear that made him cry out even as he tried to focus, tried not to give in entirely to the magic.

When the dark energies of the spell struck the sage, it seemed to sear through her like fire. Through his sudden fatigue, he watched her claw through the shadowy energies as if she had been besieged by a multitude of enemies. She clutched at her head and bowed at the waist as she screamed. Her aura seemed to expand, blasting away at the layer of elder magic that covered her.

He fell to his knees, exhausted by the effort it took to protect himself from any backlash from such a powerful invocation. Even trying to keep his head up was a struggle, but it was one he had to win because the sage was staring at him. What was worse than that was that she was pointing at him. There would be the sigil, he knew, and then the fire. He knew this, but his body was past the point of obeying him.

_I did what I could...please forgive me..._

Fire streaked past the sage's face, searing her cheek and setting part of her hair on fire. _How strange_, Canas mused, lethargy allowing him to watch the scene and the resulting actions with detachment, _she couldn't have possibly done that to herself...ah!_

Lily was there when the sage backed away, her face tight with anger as her hair and cloak fluttered in the wind. He watched her with something like awe as she raised her hand and pointed directly at the sage. "Don't you _dare_ touch him," she said, in a voice that reminded him of thunder on the Sacae Plains.

He closed his eyes, and smiled.

-0-

Lily knew, as soon as the bandit leader turned to her, that she was going to die.

_She's powerful. Damn. I don't want to prove them right about 'not being strong enough to worry about', but..._ Lily narrowed her eyes. Canas was just past the bandit leader, Rosliand unconscious, and she had seen that bolt of lightning just after she had put the boy where he would be warm. _Well, she's not so powerful that I'm completely worthless._

The bandit leader seemed to be going through her own considerations, just by the way she was staring at Lily. Finally, she raised her hands, the Elfire tome in one of them. "Look, you'll be better off if you let me go," she said, her accent as strange as that other bandit's had been. "I was lied to. Obviously there's nothing to be found here other than snow, and your defenses are much better than that last town's. It's obvious that's what they wanted. They didn't give a damn about either of us. But, if you let me go..." The woman smiled, and Lily wondered how such a pretty woman ended up as the leader of a vicious bandit group. "I'll make it worth your while."

"And that is?" Lily asked, not putting her arm down. If the woman acted, she wanted to be ready to cast a spell in return.

"Well, you killed the rest of my group. I'll never lead again. So, I'm going to go back to that village and burn it down. A nice, simple revenge." Her tone was beguiling, almost hypnotic. "Don't you want revenge?"

_Yes_, Lily thought. "You know I do," she said, glancing at Canas. He was giving her a strange look. "I've been getting it all morning. And after I'm done with you, I'll do something about Lamia. But you're not going to kill anyone else."

The bandit leader's smile hardened. "You're a stupid woman. Aren't you the guardian? You need to think about your entire village, not just some foolish, 'noble' ideas you might have. Besides," she scoffed, lowering her arms, "isn't there something wrong with you?"

Lily wondered if the fact she was pale and feverish had alerted the woman. She had been sick just before arriving here, and it didn't feel like it had been enough. "You can surrender, or you can die. I'm not in the mood to put up with anything else," she said with all the strength she could muster.

"Headstrong Ilians," the woman muttered. She reached inside her cloak and pulled out a coin. "They say Ilians will do anything for gold. Well, go kill yourself or get out of--"

Even as the Fire spell streaked through the sky, Lily knew she had done the wrong thing. With a smile, the other woman dodged, already casting a counter-spell. Lily twisted away, summoning another spell and cursing inwardly when she felt that the tome's magic was nearly depleted--one or two more castings, that was it. Her second spell smashed into the bandit leader's shoulder, causing the woman to curse but not much else. That was what Lily had feared, a war of attrition with someone more powerful than herself, even if the other woman's resistance wasn't as good. There was no way she could shrug off an Elfire blast from that woman.

Dizziness took hold of Lily, forcing her to stop. When it passed and she could look up, all she saw was the fire flying towards her and it was all she could do expand her aura right in front of her--

It wasn't enough.

She screamed as the column of fire erupted all around her, her resistance to magic not enough to stop her from feeling the tongues of fire burn through her clothes and scorch her exposed skin. She fell, grateful for the year-round layer of snow as the flames hissed out of existence. Struggling to her knees, she heard footsteps rapidly crunch through the snow, and her eyes weren't all the way open before the bandit leader kicked her in the face. She cried out as she went down, her face blooming with agony and the taste of blood in her mouth. The incantation of the Elfire spell was louder than the ringing in her head, and Lily wondered if this was how a thousand years of magical heritage was going to end.

The next thing she heard was a horrible scream. Lily raised her head, her cheek throbbing, and saw the woman enveloped in dark magic. Just a little ways ahead, Canas was up, his face strained as he spoke those ugly words of his kind of magic. Reaching for her tome, she stood, gathering her focus in ending the threat once and for all.

"That's it!" the bandit leader screamed as the spell subsided, and Lily's stomach lurched in fear as the woman turned around and ran towards Canas.

"Canas! Move!" Lily screamed, but he looked so tired that he barely took a step backwards in an attempt to escape before the woman reached him. She struck him across the face, the sound not unlike an axe slamming through wood, kicked him down, then pulled him in front of her as a human shield, holding him up by his hair. The bandit leader glared at Lily like a mad wolf she had once seen Tinae kill when she was just a child.

"Drop the tome!" she yelled. It fell from Lily's hands; what else could she do?

_I have to save him. I'd rather die than have him hurt._

"You should've listened to me," the woman continued, snarling. Lily, at the moment, agreed. "Now I have to kill the both of you. Who goes first, you or him?" She yanked on his hair, causing him to cry out. Lily flinched.

"I'll go first. You can do anything you want with me, just don't hurt him!" she shouted, trying so hard not to sound hysterical. It seemed important to die with a bit of dignity. But now Canas' eyes were open and his monocle had fallen, and he was giving her the most horrified look she had ever seen on a human being that was still alive.

_Stop that. Don't look at me like that! This is just what I have to do, don't you see?_

"Sure," the bandit leader said, and let go of him. He collapsed, and Lily thought he was barely conscious as it was. She watched the bandit leader point at her, feeling detached from the whole thing. She hadn't expected to die this way, but it wasn't as if she had a preferred way to die. In bed like her parents, murdered like her sister...no, it could be worse.

_I've failed enough people today, anyway._

The woman caught her eye. "You know," she said, casually, "nevermind."

She pointed at Canas, who was past defending himself, and something inside Lily snapped.

Swooping downwards, she picked up the discarded tome and flung it at the woman, striking her shoulder. She lunged at the bandit leader, grabbing her arms in that moment of distraction. They grappled with each other, and even though Lily was taller, she weighed less than this foreigner who had probably stolen food from Lamia's storehouse while she could barely keep food down as it was. She caught a glimpse of the Elfire tome still gripped in the bandit leader's hand, and she thought _well, there are worse ways to die.  
_  
Lily had rarely practiced her family skill with anything higher than Thunder, but she knew the words because they resonated with the Word of anima. It was hard to concentrate while trying to hold off the bandit leader, but it was her only chance. She murmured the words with a mouth that still tasted like metal, past a loose tooth and through cracked lips, centering her mind on the Word, the single word that connected all anima spells to the core of magic. She thought of Lord Pent, that wonderful mage general who knew about it, who cared about magic beyond the theories unlike...well, like her own husband, for instance. Although, she hoped he had moved past that by now. Maybe he would continue to work on restoring Ilia after she was gone?

It wasn't as if she wanted to die. The other woman just couldn't be allowed to live, that was all.

"What...are you doing?" the woman grunted. There were a lot of things Lily wanted to say in response, something witty. Iris had been witty and beautiful, and Lily...wasn't. She didn't know why that bothered her, why anything Iris had done had ever really bothered her. Now that she thought about it, it was kind of sad she let that bother her for all these years. What did it matter in the end?

So Lily knew she wasn't witty, or beautiful, but she could still let go of the other woman and press her hands against the woman's forehead, and she could still scream the activation word, the Word that cracked the core of the spell open and let it all spill out.

And the world exploded into flames.

-0-

Canas was working on sitting up when he saw the conflagration swarm over Lily and the sage.

He was fumbling for his monocle when Lily was ejected from the fire column, landing in an unmoving heap. As he hurried to her on stiff legs, he realized that was not entirely true; Lily was going into convulsions. He dropped down next to her, staring down at her in undisguised shock; her arms, from her hands to her elbows, bore horrific fire blisters. Much of her clothing had been burned away, leaving only the scorched pegasus knight uniform and her boots.

And she was going through magical depletion shock.

As gently as he could, he lifted her upper body, holding her to him. Stroking her face, he brushed away the loose fringe of her hair--like her eyebrows, she had singed a good portion of it away. He knew that the only way to cure the shock was to give her enough of his own magic to sustain her, but he did not know how to start such a procedure.

Her body jerked spasmodically in his arms, her face a study in quiet agony, and he made a decision.

_I'll go first. You can do anything you want with me, just don't hurt him!_

Closing his eyes, he attempted to concentrate on his magical stores of magic and found that he had nearly exhausted them--not a surprise, all things considering, but it did make things more difficult for him. How much could he spare without draining himself beyond repair? Would it even be enough? According to a theory he had heard while listening in on a lecture at one of the premier magic academies in Aquleia, mana tended to replicate itself once below the normal amount for the person.

_Then, why would anyone ever die from depletion shock?_ he wondered. Lily's face was scrunched tight, and he frowned and tried to adjust the way he was holding her. No matter what, her left arm kept brushing against him. Her left hand looked worse than her right, which seemed odd, but he forced himself to concentrate, gathering his magic and, bit by bit, feeding it into her aura, which resembled a dried-out corn husk in color. He kept it up until it began to look a bit healthier and she seemed to relax.

He thought he heard her say his name, ending it in a hiss, and he observed that her eyelashes were fluttering, her brows scrunching rhythmically as her lips quivered. She opened her eyes, and he flinched to see them so dilated; she did not seem able to focus. "E'ry...une..."

"Everyone is fine," he said, trying to smile just in case she could see him. "You should rest now."

Her eyes were open for a moment longer before they finally closed. Her body slackened in his arms, and an irrational fear that she had just...passed away fluttered in his mind before he realized that her chest still rose and fell. Looking around him, he could see bodies scattered around, such as the sage's immolated corpse and Rosliand's prone form. There were splotches of blood down the oak grove path and the stench of brunt flesh. He wanted to give into the fatigue and sleep, but he was fearful that he would loosen his hold on Lily and awaken her, and she was in much worse condition than he was. So, he sat there on the ground, holding her carefully around her shoulders, and looked up at the sky.

The snow began to fall.

-to be continued-

Yes, it's long. Considering all the buildup, I think this second arc deserves a good climax chapter. Well, I don't know if it's 'good'; that's for all of you to decide. So, please, tell me what you think.

I'm starting a project that boils down to 'giving back to this fandom, among others.' Curious? Please take a look at my profile, then!


	23. Aftermath

Shadows Under the Oak Tree

(C) Intelligent Systems and Nintendo

-0-

23. Aftermath  
(_Take responsibility. The truth emerges._)

The sky was overcast, normal for an autumn Ilian day, and for the moment there was a welcome respite from the unpredictable snowfall of the last week. The waves that washed up to the rocky shoreline were equally muted, the water settling into the cracks between the rocks with a hiss before returning to the ocean. Between the sky and the sea, it seemed as if the world itself was distant, detached from the actions of the humans that inhabited it.

All in all, Canas thought it was an appropriate mood for a ceremony in observance of the dead.

Most of the villagers had gathered here, a hidden cove quite some time away from the village. It was a funeral march unlike any he had ever read about or witnessed. For days there had been a host of visitors, all who, without failure, had brought flatbread biscuits. He had asked Lily about their symbolism, and the look on her face had made him sorry he had asked. Cultural distinctions aside, exactly one week after the attack Lily had given him his cloak and nodded towards the door, outside of which there had been the beginnings of an impromptu march to the cove. He was unsure how the village as a whole coordinated the event, considering that he was the one who met with all the visitors and talked with them over tea. Lily had been...unavailable most of the time.

He glanced down to his left, where Lily stood beside him, her expression devoid of emotion. For the first few days she had been rarely conscious, a side effect from severe mana depletion that he had anticipated. He returned to their bed even though she had been running a slight fever and he did not relish her lecture on common sense and the prevention of spreading disease; the attack and his role in it had affected him, and being near her helped somewhat in that regard. In those days, he had also taught himself the basics of herbal lore using her tomes and notes, as he had a constant, dull headache and he needed to treat her wounds. The burn blisters had flared purplish-red in color along her arms, and her left hand...the damage there had been extensive. After she had regained full consciousness, she had been much as she was now: withdrawn and quiet, nothing like the woman he had known. A touch of the flu still bothered her, which surprised him; it was certainly a tenacious strain that not even her medicine could cure.

Was he truly so helpless when it came to helping her?

There was a cry in the crowd as the strongest men and women began to enter the cove, bearing long boxes on their shoulders as they maintained a respectful pace. Canas watched them, suppressing a shudder as he saw smaller boxes interspersed with the others. The pallbearers continued onto the rocky shore, the waves lapping at their boots as they formed a line along the length of the shore. When they finished, Lady Yunice left the crowd and stood before the line, and from where he was he could see that her countenance was grave. She clasped her hands in front of her and bowed her head.

"Today we witness the departure of the bodies of our loved ones. Though this tragedy has claimed their bodies, their souls remain free to watch over us eternally. We..." he heard her falter, before she raised her head, tears streaming down her face, "we should take comfort that...that this is only a temporary separation." 

_Ah, the Ilian tradition of death_, Canas thought, strange feelings working their way through him. _While the Elimineans believe the...souls of the dead travel to their God's country--heaven, I believe--the Ilians believe that the spirits stay here. Considering the land, one would think it would be the Ilians who would wish there was another land to travel to after death..._

Glancing down again, he noticed that Lily's eyes were closed. _Is she...communicating with these spirits?_ he wondered. Suddenly, the idea of being an anima user, someone who was closely linked to the spirits, seemed to him like an oppressive duty in this land.

_How does she cope with it?_

Lady Yunice gestured and, one by one, the boxes were lowered onto the shore and pushed out into the sea. As they drifted, Canas observed the crowd. He could see Mynthia clinging to Rycen, an action repeated by many of the people out here, but other than the outcry earlier they were remarkably resilient. They, as a whole, only watched as the boxes grew smaller and smaller. 

_To be an Ilian...means to be comfortable with death._

He glanced down at Lily again, expecting to see her blank expression, and was surprised. Now there was a fierce determination in her furrowed brows and pursed lips. Now there was life flaring in her eyes. _What has changed_, he wondered, _what have the spirits said to affect her so deeply?_

When he returned his attention to the shore, he saw that the boxes were sinking into the sea. 

-0-

_This is wrong._

Grandma Yunice was holding a meeting in her house, and Lily could guess as to what its purpose was. The attack a week ago was still fresh on everyone's minds; it was always on hers. Tradition called for a week of mourning, then the casting away of the dead, before the village was allowed to return to normal. Cry, curse fate, demand that the spirits offer answers as to why they couldn't protect their loved ones...but do it behind closed doors. Lily understood why and felt that it was right; there was a dignity to death, an art to dying. To be Ilian was to accept that humans were mortal, and that everyone was going to die one day. And, as per her duty, Lily had made her own peace with death--not that she wanted to die, but that one day it might be necessary. After all, she killed to protect, so surely she could die to protect. 

But seven people died last week, and she had done nothing for them. She had been sleeping.

_It's a very difficult duty to protect_, her mother had told her once, when everything had been simpler. _It is a very rewarding duty. It may not be like flying, my dear, but you'll understand that some people need to stay grounded. I'm sure you'll come to see the pleasure in it._

_But what about failure?_ Lily wanted to ask her mother now. _What about being sick and only being useful after the fact and being betrayed by our own people? Where is the pleasure in that?_

A week of mourning may cleanse the soul, but it did nothing to ease her self-recriminations. Why would it? Seven people had been murdered. Three children had died. An entire family had been annihilated in the instant it took to cast a Fire spell. The bandits had been malicious, wantonly entering houses and attacking the inhabitants in a practiced raid. Where had she been? Where had she been when Ysabel and her son, Georges, had been running to meet the others on the mountain, only to have their lives cut down by a bandit? Where had she been when Aberforth had brandished a sword, trying to give his sister enough time to escape? Where had she been when Kier and Cassiopeia and their twin sons had been killed as they went about setting up breakfast, their only crime having been living in the house closest to the entrance of the village? Why did she have to learn about their fates after the fact, all of it secondhand from her husband, someone she had barely been able to protect as it were? 

Where had she been?

"Stop that," Rosliand said to her left, and Lily realized she had been trying to clench her left hand. It throbbed painfully, and the act of opening her fist made her gasp in pain; it felt like some of the scabbed-over areas of her palm had cracked open, and she was suddenly queasy. Her bandages rubbed over the raw flesh and now she was sure she was going to be sick. The rest of the burns along her arms were finally healing, but her left hand was healing far too slowly.

Though, it was such a small thing compared to a life.

Lily glanced over at Rosliand. The older woman looked as if she had seen better days--though hadn't they all?--but her flu had lessened to a mild cough. Lily was jealous, not only of that but also because Rosliand's burns on her chest and arms were mild thanks to her cloak and durable uniform. "Sorry," Lily said, "I was just thinking."

Rosliand's expression did not change. "Yes, I'm worried too. Her decision is likely to be disappointing."

"Do you really think so?" Lily murmured, sorry that she agreed. Grandma Yunice was a wonderful woman, a model of motherly kindness. And yet, Lily remembered the meeting she had had with her after Cione's visit. Family was one of the fiercest devotions an Ilian carried, and Grandma Yunice was no exception. Even with the evidence of Cione's betrayal in the form of the young man Lamia had given to the bandits as a hostage, Lily had a sinking feeling that Grandma Yunice would still attempt to shy away from acting.

Lily was angry at herself, but she hated the betrayers from Lamia even more.

"Is it truly going to be so disappointing?" Canas said from her right. Lily shrugged, not turning to face him. Every time she had in the past week, she still remembered their fight with the bandit leader. It had made her uncomfortable to see him fighting, to see him being threatened--

_Now I have to kill the both of you. Who goes first, you or him?_

--and she hated that there had even been an opportunity for him to be threatened, that he even had to fight in the first place. She hated that Tinae had been injured from the Bolting spell she had seen from the village proper; Tinae and her daughter Sami were not at the meeting, but she could see Valan and Rian among the crowd, which was a good sign. She hated everything to do with this, and she wanted it to end. 

Grandma Yunice stood in the middle of the room, and the room quieted as she raised a hand. "After much thought, I have come to conclusion regarding our current circumstances. For the past few months, I have seen us hurting ourselves and each other due to our varied beliefs about what is best for Ilia. It has bred animosity inside us towards our neighbors and has divided us in ways that a village as bound together as our own should never be.

"These bad feelings ended last week. The feelings that grew out of those past months were cut down in the space of one morning. Now, we have become united in our sadness and grief. Once again, we are able to see eye-to-eye with each other. And so..." Grandma Yunice sighed, and Lily trembled in horrified anticipation.

_Oh, no. She really isn't..._

"While we have suffered immeasurably, we have also come away with a bit of gained peace. There is no need to bring up the old agonies of the past. This is the gift the dead have given us, and for the sake of our village, I will not squander it. We will mind ourselves, and only ourselves." 

Lily could feel the silence of the entire village, stunned and immovable. It was as if not a single person breathed as Grandma Yunice's words hung in the air. Lily looked around. Rosliand's profile could've been chiseled from stone. Canas was adjusting his monocle, the look on his face the very sort of puzzlement he wore just before he asked her to repeat something.

_Incredulous, isn't it? He'd call it incredulous, because he can't believe what he just heard._

That fit. She couldn't believe it. There was no way she had just heard that seven people had died and nothing was going to happen to their murderers, people who would call themselves Ilians and then betray their own people. 

_This is wrong_, she thought, and in that moment she knew that those were the only words that fit. Those were the only words that cut through the core of the issue without even a nick.

It was wrong. 

There were murmurs now, of dissent, of agreement, but she felt strangely quiet. She thought about vague concepts like justice and honor and _where had she been?_ She thought about avenging the dead and _I'm so sorry I failed you_ and betrayal.

She thought about a lot of things, but in the end she only said, "I don't agree." 

It was quiet again, and she noticed with some discomfort that most, if not all, of the people in the room were staring at her. Then she remembered that they were her neighbors, her dearest friends, and even if they didn't agree with her they would surely understand. So, she walked forward, her eyes on Grandma Yunice's surprised expression (_why is she surprised she surely can't think I would've agreed_, Lily wondered), and smiled sadly. "For the sake of the fallen, for Ilia's future...there's no way I can agree with you," she clarified. "We have the words of a witness. Even if all the bandits are dead, it's not enough. They're not the only ones responsible for this tragedy."

Grandma Yunice closed her eyes, looking so old and worn that Lily almost wanted to take back her words. "When is it ever enough, Lily?" the elder woman asked. "Shall we let our emotions take control and cry for revenge? Dear child, tell me if the spirits demand their deaths be avenged. I would not believe it. Revenge is only for the living, and to do that will set a chain of events that Ilia may well never heal from." 

"Our country will not heal if betrayers are allowed to roam free and continue their crimes, Grandmother," Lily answered, a thick knot of emotion beginning to build up inside her throat. "That is the heart of the issue. What I know is that people died senselessly, and it is the fault of those who, to save themselves both from bandits as well as politically, agreed to assist bandits by revealing our location and lying about our worth. They betrayed us, but more than that, they did it because we were in their way!"

There was an outcry behind her, all around her, as the other villagers began to voice their opinions. She didn't listen, only watched Grandma Yunice as the other woman opened her eyes and looked directly at her. A needle of discomfort began to work its way through Lily the longer she stared into those eyes, burrowing through her skin and jabbing at her heart. She couldn't describe what she saw in her surrogate grandmother's eyes, other than an acute sense of pain.

_Yunice is blinded by her family bonds. Even if she was a good pegasus knight, all she is now is a weak leader._

_Is it really weakness?_ Lily asked herself. _If it had been Iris, would I be able to condemn her as easily as I can Cione? Even if it was the right thing to do?_

"Lily, with all due respect," she heard Maren, a former mercenary knight, call from the crowd, and she turned to face him, "but one could say that you're to blame as well. Weren't you the person who angered Lady Yunice's cousin in the first place? You might've been the reason why we were specifically targeted. And, well..." he paused, looking almost embarrassed, "you _are_ our guardian."

_Yes, that's true._

"And I'm the scout," Rosliand said before Lily opened her mouth. "And I was sick. Because of my negligence, the village was invaded." 

"No, Maren is right." Bowing her head, Lily took a deep breath before speaking. "I failed on all accounts. I will accept any punishment. However, in my own defense, I want to say this: I would not have failed had we not been attacked. And, we would not have been attacked had it not been for those of Lamia. If you punish me, then those betrayers must also be punished for their crime."

Grandma Yunice cleared her throat. "No one is going to be punished today. I'm not convinced, and therefore my decision still stands."

"And you never will change your mind, will you?" Lily said before she could stop herself, an ugly bitterness in her tone making her words sound hard and brittle to her own ears. "Because it has to do with your family, you would rather we suffered instead of your cousin. So where does that leave us, the village you swore to lead with our best intentions in mind?"

"Lily, you're being overemotional," Grandma Yunice said, all motherly kindness and a soothing gentleness to her words, but...

_You're wrong!_

"I'm allowed, I think. People died and you're burying it in snow. I understand your feelings, but you're hurting us instead! These people have violated everything that makes us Ilian! We've learned to stay by each other and help each other, but instead they've tried to destroy us just, just because of what? Because of their 'ideals'? They're betraying us because we don't share their ideals? 

"No. That's wrong. That goes against everything it means to be an Ilian. It desecrates the deaths of every pegasus knight and mercenary knight that has ever fallen just to make enough gold to feed us." There were tears threatening to fall, tears already falling, but she deliberately turned away from Grandma Yunice and faced the crowd at large, her friends, neighbors, loved ones because this issue affected everyone. "I won't have it. How can I call myself an Ilian with any sort of pride when people like those betrayers also call themselves Ilian? They aren't fit to be called Ilian! These people who would place ideals over human lives...they aren't even fit to be called human!"

She was crying now, struggling to maintain a semblance of dignity even as her face crinkled up and tears ran down her face. By all the spirits, she couldn't even remember the last time she had cried. She hadn't even cried when her parents died, she only worked and worked until the pain ebbed. Gritting her teeth, she tried to calm down enough to gather up the rest of her dignity and force out, "B-but I'm be-being overemotional," before she bowed her head and walked through the crowd to the door. She hurried home, barely remembering to close the door after her before she ran into her workshop.

_When was the last time I cried? Oh, why isn't it stopping? This is so...embarrassing..._

When her parents had died, she had worked. But because she couldn't move her left hand, it was all she could do to sit in her chair, cover her face with her right hand, and try to stifle her sobs. 

It didn't work, but she tried anyway.

-0-

"It was surprising." 

Canas made an affirmative sound, blew on his tea, and enjoyed a sip before returning his attention to Rosliand. "I suppose, considering what Lady Yunice had decided, it was to be expected," he said, his voice modulated just so. Lily was in their bedroom, and a little discretion was necessary.

Rosliand raised her head and stared straight through him, her gaze piercing as usual. "Is that what she said?"

"Not especially." If his wife was holding a conversation with anyone, it certainly was not with him; her condition had degenerated to the point where she was once again constantly listless and fatigued. "She is still unwell," he explained when Rosliand's gaze failed to waver.

"Hmph. I wish I could talk to her. I want know what she was thinking when she did that."

_I doubt Lily would care to explain herself_, he thought as he adjusted his monocle. Last night she had come around briefly, only to tell him, "I'm really embarrassed. Even though I said what I felt, I could've expressed it better. That's all anyone is going to care about, and I made myself look like a fool."

_A fool? Truly? Because she obviously felt so passionate about this issue? I don't understand..._

Rosliand looked down, lifting her cup of tea to her lips. "What did you think when you saw that? You left too soon." 

"Yes, well..." He had left because the arguments being loudly bandied about bothered him, and had taken a brief walk before returning home because he had no desire to disturb Lily. "I agreed with her, naturally."

"Of course you did. You're her husband."

"No, er, that's not exactly it. I...I fought too." Canas adjusted his monocle again, his hand brushing against the place where the enemy sage had struck him. When he had first seen the bruise there, as well as the one on his lower abdomen, he had felt faint. They were frightening emblems of war for a man who disliked battle. "While it is a sad thing to condemn people for their actions, all the evidence points to the ruling that they had willfully and maliciously planned this."

Tilting her head, Rosliand appeared strangely pensive as her bangs dangled over her eyes. "That's the strongest language I've ever heard from you. So then, what do you think should be done?"

"I..." Canas faltered. He did not know what the Union's policy held for the fates of the six people the boy of Lamia had named, but he had a few ideas. "I would say that they deserve whatever the law of the Union provides towards their crimes."

"Death," Rosliand said with a slight smile. "It would be death, should the Union hear of this."

"...Er, and if Lady Yunice should not decide to rescind her decision?"

"What do you mean?"

Canas took a sip of tea, focusing on the liquid as he thought of the best way to clarify his question without potentially insulting Rosliand. He remembered the backlash after she had first alerted the Union months ago. "Erm...would you decide to ignore Lady Yunice's decree, if it should come down to that?"

Her smile widened. "No, because Lily would do it first."

"Would she?" Canas asked before he thought about his words. _No...Lily wouldn't unless she felt she had no other choice. After all, Lady Yunice is, in all but blood, her grandmother._

"This is the breaking point," Rosliand stated. "Lily is obedient, but her devotion to Ilia is greater than mere orders. If Yunice continues like this, Lily will loudly make her stand. You saw how that meeting went after she left. She has enough support. And," she paused to take a sip of tea, "she's very emotional right now." 

"Of course, that is understandable."

"I'm sure," Rosliand said with a bland expression. "I'm worried that she'll make a misstep. She seems unbalanced. I thought she was stronger than that."

Frowning, he stared into his cup to hide the severity of his expression. "It was a trying time for the both of us. She still is unable to use her hand, and her illness--"

"Wait. She's still sick?"

"Yes. A slight fever, chronic fatigue, and vomiting."

With time, Canas had noticed a marked decrease in the number of times Lily would stare at him as if he were lacking in common sense, or any other kind of sense. However, the look Rosliand was currently giving him made up for every opportunity his wife had missed in the last three years. "That's some flu," she said at length. "She must be overexerting herself."

"Do you think so? It must be the stress from the current situation..." Canas sighed. _If only I could do something to distract her if that is the case, but autumn is already here and we are behind on the preparations for the upcoming winter..._

"Yes." Standing up, Rosliand had a peculiar look on her face that confused him to see; it was more emotional than what he was used to from her. "When she's feeling better, please have her visit me alone. In the meanwhile, try to occupy her attention. I'm sure she'll appreciate it." With an odd smile, she left. 

_Hm...a little strange._ With a final adjustment to his monocle, he went about the business of clearing the table. _In the case of Lily, perhaps she would be interested in a discussion on the merits of Vicar Figerlis' theories regarding magical propagation throughout Elibe? It's really quite absorbing, although a bit outdated..._

-0-

Heaving a weary sigh, Lily made her way up the path to Rosliand's path. Nervousness coiled in her belly at the thought of whatever lecture that woman had in mind to give, and that Canas had told her that Rosliand wished to talk to her alone. 

_She's going to tell me to be calmer, that I shouldn't act out so much. I just know it._

Pursing her lips, she reached the ledge on which Rosliand's house stood. 

_Even if everyone dismisses my words, I told the absolute truth. I told it the way it needed to be said. Even if I was overly passionate, even if I looked like a fool..._

She closed her eyes, taking a deep breath before she felt steady enough to walk forward, to enter. 

_I meant it._

The door opened before she could reach out and touch the doorknob. Rosliand was there, her expression as grim as Lily had ever seen it. "Hello, Lily," Rosliand said, the sound of the greeting foreign to Lily's ears--Rosliand didn't bother with such frivolities with her. 

"Good morning," Lily replied, studying Rosliand's face for a clue as to the fate she was about to receive: a lecture? A reprimand? But the only thing she could see lingering along the former scout's angular features was concern. Smiling, Lily ran her right hand through her hair. "Is something wrong?"

"...No," was the answer, and it was the slight pause, the barest flicker in Rosliand's eyes that made Lily frown in worry. "Please sit down. I've made your favorite tea."

With a mental shrug, Lily did as she was asked, picking up the simple tin tea kettle and pouring a cup of sweet chamomile and jasmine tea for Rosliand first before preparing her own cup. "How are you feeling? Has the tea worked? I'm jealous, you know. Maybe I put too much sleeping potion in my medicine, I don't know," she chattered, only pausing to take a sip. Rosliand couldn't steep a pot of tea to save her life, and Lily smiled at the first taste of water-flavored tea. "Maybe you should've made that thick coffee stuff you keep importing from Bulgar instead," she suggested.

"I save that for the winter, you know that," Rosliand chided as she sat down across from Lily. "Everything tastes the same when I'm sick. More to the point..." She glanced up from her cup, staring at Lily directly in the eye. "You don't have to pretend with me. I already know."

Lily didn't know. "Excuse me?"

There was a slight curve to Rosliand's lips. "I can see why you would decide to keep things quiet until after Yunice's final decision, but I would've appreciated it if you had told me. And you always preferred to call us friends, at that." Her smile widened.

"...Yes, we're friends, but what does that have to do with anything?" _Hm, would symptoms of the flu hide anything more serious? A sort of confusion?_ Lily wondered as she leaned forward and observed Rosliand with all the care of the physician that she was. _Her coloring is fine, no obvious signs of discomfort, a slight look of annoyance...yes, that's normal enough, but..._

Rosliand was starting to look more than annoyed, frowning the longer Lily stared at her. "I was giving you the benefit of the doubt. Lying to me, of all people, is...disingenuous, Lily." 

_Is that...a joke? I hate it when she uses that strange sense of humor. She's either cruel or just odd. Fine, I can pretend too._ "Oh, I guess you've found me out," Lily giggled. "How did you know?"

For a moment, there was a blank look on Rosliand's face, which Lily knew meant that she was surprised. After the moment had passed, Rosliand inexplicably smiled. "Because you're an herbalist. You, of all people, should know the difference between the flu and pregnancy." 

-to be continued-

So...yeah. Hugh has to show up sometime, right? Next chapter is the end of the second arc, yay!


	24. Delicate

Shadows Under the Oak Tree

(C) Intelligent Systems and Nintendo

-0-

24. Delicate   
(_Keep moving. Celebration._)

"You, of all people, should know the difference between the flu and pregnancy." 

Lily dropped her cup. Maybe the contents sloshed over her lap. Maybe the cup broke on the floor. It didn't matter.

_My symptoms...that explains why my medicine wasn't working, and why my cycle stopped...I thought it was because I wasn't eating enough, like how it usually is during the winter... _

"Why did you do that?"

The sound of Rosliand's voice drew Lily's attention. "I-I-I can't be..." she managed out. "T-there's no way..."

"What are you saying? That's unkind to Canas." Rosliand was smirking. Smirking! That couldn't be appropriate when Lily felt like her entire world had impolitely rearranged itself. It was as if Lady Niime had walked into her house, moved the couches, the table, and decided to put a huge window in her sitting room, no doubt shearing a hole in her wall with dark magic. It was as if she was making very bad analogies, because she could not comprehend the magnitude of the real life situation.

"I-I can't be pregnant!" Lily declared, her eyes wide and her voice shaky. "I don't even know if I want to be a mother right now! I mean...maybe in the future, but..." She looked down; there was a small stain on her dress, and she pondered upon it. How it got there, how long it would take to clean it out, things like that. Safe topics.

There were so few safe topics these days.

"You really didn't know? All the signs were there. How could you not know?" Rosliand's voice needled at her, poking and prodding and jabbing into all the cracks Rosliand's announcement had created in her fairly mild demeanor.

"Why would I? I've never been...before. And I'm an herbalist, not a midwife or anything. I can't diagnose...that. Most of the women seem to recognize it on their own, so..." After giving the stain a last longing glance, she looked up at Rosliand, who just seemed as she always was. Lily wondered if she looked different now that she was...that. "This is a bad time, isn't it?"

There was sympathy in Rosliand's expression. "It's always a bad time. Judging by the time you were first ill, you'll give birth in the spring, which means that you can't be the guardian in the meantime, if...well, I'll ask your husband to take over for you."

"Please don't ask Canas," Lily blurted out. "I can't--I don't want him to fight."

"You can't tell him the news, or you don't want him hurt?"

_Now I have to kill the both of you. Who goes first, you or him?_

Lily closed her eyes for a brief moment before she felt ready to meet Rosliand's gaze. "...I don't want him hurt." 

"Of course. It's inconvenient for you to ask that. He's a magic-user, and he seems to be competent enough. Slow, but competent." Rosliand was giving her a Look, which was more significant than a mere look because Lily knew Rosliand wanted her to change her mind. "Please reconsider. This is more important than your feelings, but I will follow your orders."

_I hate it when she does that._ "...I don't like it, but fine. Just make sure you actually ask him if he wants to do it, too. Don't just manipulate him, even if it's easier for you."

Rosliand frowned, her lips a thin line of annoyance, and Lily knew she had gone too far. "You sounded like Tinae just now."

"...I'm sorry. With this, and everything that's been going on in the village, I'm feeling overwhelmed." Lily stood and attempted to walk over to the door, but not before tripping on her cup. She caught herself just in time, and stood a little straighter when she saw that Rosliand had already been halfway to her. "I'm not fragile, Rosliand," she said, and although she meant it as a joke, her tone was harsher than she'd meant it to be.

"Of course." Lily had almost made it to the door when she heard Rosliand's voice again. "Lily, if it bothers you so much, you at least have that special tea. It would be a disappointment, but it's safer than the alternatives I've seen in Edessa."

Lily turned her head, glaring at Rosliand for a long moment before saying, "I am not a desperate woman. This is a little inconvenient, but it'll be fine." There was a bit about unwanted advice that occurred to her, but at the moment Lily only wanted to leave.

"Good," Rosliand answered in a pleasant tone. "I'm glad to hear that. However, please inform Canas of that before the next attack, or I'll be forced to tell him."

With a sigh, Lily left. She was used to Rosliand always trumping her, but this had more serious implications than usual. A light snowfall was dusting the mountain, and Lily sighed louder. She had to climb down the mountain more carefully than before, now.

She pressed her left hand against her lower belly, not minding that the bindings on her hand prevented her from actually feeling anything. Imagining a bulge growing there took a lot of effort; anything bigger on her was inconceivable, which she supposed was a joke in and of itself. Looking out over the area, with the grove of oaks and their red leaves and the smoke curling out of the chimneys of the houses beyond it, Lily whispered to herself, "I'm going to be a mother."

The words felt strange in her mouth.

-0-

Since Canas was used to feeling as if his presence was unneeded in most situations, he simply observed Lily as she went about in a daze after returning home from her visit with Rosliand. _If it were truly necessary for me to find out_, he reasoned, _she will tell me_. He trusted her judgment; indeed, it was one of the cornerstones of their relationship. After all, if one cannot trust a person to whom common sense was sacrosanct, who could be trusted in this world? 

"Oh, be careful," he said as he reached for her elbow and steered her away from the wall she was about to collide into.

She stopped, then turned to look up at him and giggled. "Thank you," she said, and she appeared so childishly adorable that he paused in confusion. The only reference he had to this behavior was a winter ago, when she had drank too much liquor and had spent most of that night in a drunken haze. This bewildered him, as he was sure she had not imbibed any alcohol in months, and so he leaned towards her, trying to catch a hint of alcohol on her breath as discreetly as possible.

"Well, aren't you being forward," she stated with a smile, and he immediately straightened up and looked away. The possibility for a lecture on health standards, the appropriate distance to remain when confronting the sick, and other miscellaneous details were never far from her lips, and therefore his mind.

Because she was staring at him as if she expected him to do something, he inquired, "Are you feeling all right?"

She looked down at the floor, studied the ceiling for a bit, then shrugged, her face still turned away from him. "Please don't ask me hard questions," she finally answered.

_Oh, she must still feel ill, then_, he realized. Loosening his gentle hold on her arm, he touched her forehead. "You still feel a bit feverish," he deduced. "Would you like to rest for a bit?"

The expression on her face was a new one, one that he could not hope to decipher in the moment it took for it to flutter across her face before it was replaced by a smile. "That'd be nice. You're so sweet." She reached up and kissed him on the cheek, which startled him not because it was a kiss--though those were always nice--but _because Lily's a bit fanatical about cloistering the ill_. Perhaps that showed a bit more strongly on his face than he would have liked, because she now wore a half-amused, half-exasperated expression as she crossed her arms. "Canas, what's wrong with you?"

"Ah...you...aren't you still...with the flu?" he asked, quite past bewildered now. She stared at him with eyes that seemed to be able to pierce metal, before shaking her head. 

"I'm feeling better," she said, and while the words sounded optimistic, her tone was rather melancholic to his ears. "I'll go take a nap now."

"Sleep well," he said to her back, before reaching up to where she had kissed him. The last time she had kissed him had been around a month and a half ago, before all the unpleasantness began to pile up, and he had forgotten how nice it was. His hand reached further up to adjust his monocle. He had never found it easy to understand her, but now the effort to attempt to do so was rather taxing.

It seemed to him that it was easier to be patient when it came to scholarly pursuits than in the context of life.

-0-

"Well, well, look who finally showed up to visit," Tinae said as Lily stepped into the bedroom, not looking up from a small piece of wood that she was whittling. 

Lily rolled her eyes. "You say that like I should've been by your bedside from the first day."

Tinae looked up at her, an eyebrow arched. "You should've. I was hit by _lightning_."

"What's your point? I set myself on _fire_," Lily retorted, placing her right hand on her hip.

For a moment, Tinae only stared at her. Finally, she snorted. "What kind of idiot sets herself on fire!" she exclaimed. 

"The same kind that gets herself struck by lightning, apparently."

The two women glared at each other for a long time before small smiles appeared on their faces. "Yeah, we're both idiots," Tinae said, gesturing with the hand that held her whittling knife at the chair at her bedside. "Sit, sit."

"So, how are you feeling?" Lily asked once she sat down, laying her left arm across her lap. She noticed how Tinae was staring at the bandages that covered her entire left hand up to the wrist, but said nothing. Tinae would get around to it, anyway.

"My balance is still off, but it was either me or Rian, and he's getting married. I've been waiting for that for years, I'm not going to let a little thing like a lightning bolt stop it," Tinae said with a grin, and Lily laughed. "I was lucky. Mina found a healing staff in that woman's house and she still remembered how to use it."

"Well, magic isn't something you just forget," Lily said, a wistful smile on her face as she remembered training with magic as a child. No, she could never forget the wonder, the awe she had felt when she had first conjured a spark of fire. She didn't know how Elimineans saw magic, but she imagined it was much the same way. A miracle from their 'divine spirit', maybe?

Canas still seemed uncomfortable with describing dark magic. Lily thought that said it all.

"I guess. But what about you, Lily?" There was real concern on Tinae's face, wrinkles on her brow that Lily felt made her friend look her age and not ten years younger as usual. "I heard some people say that maybe there's an infection in your hand that's made you go crazy or something."

"...Is that supposed to be a joke?" Lily asked, irritated.

"No, some people think you're crazy now. Me, I've always known you were weird," Tinae said with a wide smile. "But I wish I'd been at the meeting. From four different people, I heard you were 'impassioned', 'impressive', 'bloodthirsty' and 'hysterical'."

_By all the spirits...I love everyone here, but sometimes..._ Lily turned her head, scowling now. " Bloodthirsty'?"

"Kelial. But he was really happy when he said it, dunno why. He said you'd be the perfect Bernese, if it weren't for the crying." 

" 'Hysterical'?"

"Mynthia. But what did you expect? You're trying to kill off Grandma's cousin."

Lily looked up at Tinae then, unsure if she wanted an answer to the question now in her mind. "Tinae...do you think I'm wrong to want that?"

Tinae stared at her with the blankest expression she had ever seen on the overreactive archer's face. She looked like a picture Lily had once received, a drawing of a porcelain doll in one of Aquleia's finest trinket shops, adorable but with no life whatsoever behind glass indigo eyes. That was how the dead were supposed to look like, and Lily thought since then that the Etrurians were twisted to think that was beautiful. Then a frown crossed Tinae's face, and Lily nearly sighed in relief. "No, what the hell? It's because of that bitch that I'm like this!"

"I heard you jumped in the way--"

Swinging the arm that held the knife, there was real anger on Tinae's face as she snarled, "Shut up! Of course I did! It was heading towards my only son, what was I supposed to do? I didn't spend the last eighteen years of my life raising him so that he could die in front of me!"

There was an uncomfortable silence between the women as Tinae turned away and Lily looked down at her useless hand. Finally, Tinae dropped her block of wood and whittling knife into her lap and ran her hands through her shoulder-length hair. "That stupid woman...she was talking about how she didn't want any unnecessary deaths, right? That's why she was against the Union. Yet somehow that means killing _us_ is necessary. And Grandma thinks that's fine? She's no better than my parents, is she?"

Lily flinched at that. It was common knowledge in the village that Tinae's parents had committed the single worst atrocity anyone could commit in a country where lovers and siblings often killed each other to earn their gold. To compare that with Grandma Yunice's ambivalence almost made Lily want to disagree, but something held her back. "You're a good mother," she said instead, and she almost wished she could take the words back as soon as she had.

"I've been a mother for over half my life now, so I guess I've had enough time to be pretty decent at it." Tinae shrugged. "Though it's not really something you can just get good at."

"What does that mean?" Lily, whose life depended on being good at things, asked.

"Well, it's easy to be a mother or father. All you have to do is...well, I'm sure you know." Tinae grinned as Lily blushed and pretended she was more impatient than anything else. "But being a parent is something else. You have to make sure your kids learn how to be decent people while making sure they don't end up killing themselves or others...well, that's harder here, but you still have to try. And it's a full-time job! But it's really worth it in the end."

Lily leaned towards Tinae, something like desperation urging her on. "Is it?"

Smiling, Tinae nodded. "Sure, for most parents. It's like, one day you look at your children and maybe they're actually being good and you can't help but think to yourself, 'I guess I didn't do so bad after all.'"

"What are you saying?" Lily nudged Tinae, carefully. "Your children are so well-mannered. You should sound more proud of yourself."

"Yeah, because I did _all_ the work," Tinae drawled. "Really, Mina's more like a single parent than myself. Not only does she have to worry about her daughters, she also has to worry about Jorah while he's gone. Ahh...worrying is all about being a parent. Only a parent can know what it's like to be constantly on edge for the rest of their life. At least mercenaries get breaks!"

Laughing, Lily stood up. "Is that so? Is it even worse than worrying about this village?" She leaned over and hugged her friend, pressing a kiss to Tinae's temple. "Rest well, all right?" she whispered. 

"Hey, what are you saying? I'm fine, I'm fine. I'm just letting everyone worry about me for once." Tinae touched Lily's cheek, brushing back some of her hair. "And you shouldn't worry so much right now. I'm sure you'll be a great parent."

Lily's smile dampened as a sudden irrational fear swept through her at the thought of impending motherhood. "Nothing gets by you, does it?"

If she noticed Lily's change in mood, Tinae didn't let it show. "Not even rabbits in the winter," she said with a grin, and Lily smiled and wished she could be more like her friends, who smiled so widely even after all the things they endured in their lives.

-0-

Canas studied the wyvernstone and wondered what would happen once it held more magic than it could handle. 

In his hands, the stone felt a bit warm--or was that just his imagination?--and it shone with a crimson hue. He supposed as it absorbed more energy, its color would continue to lighten. It was a wyvern's heart fossilized by a process unfathomable--so far--by the human mind, and he wondered why the specific procedure of the wyvern dying and its rider surviving would enable such a process. Or perhaps it always happened at the moment of the wyvern's death and the rider was the only one who could survive the flow of ambient energy that fossilized the heart, which led to the question of why would it be that only the rider could survive such a process. And so on, and so forth.

In a fantastic tome of legends, he had once read about a mythic land in which wyverns produced stones out of their own volition and learned druids could invoke both elder and anima magics. The former would certainly help towards achieving their dream, and the latter sounded just wonderful to him. He had enjoyed watching all the inventive ways Lily had applied anima magic in their daily life until her illness. Now he had to wonder if she would be able to cast magic with her left hand as it was; magic was a largely mental process, but something like the loss of the dominant hand could theoretically unbalance the entire mental plane magic users created in order to comprehend the spells, which was the same as losing the ability to cast magic. He was not necessarily afraid of that, as Lily's family talent seemed to bind their mages to magic more tightly than the average magic-user, but Lily was burdened enough as it was without having to deal with the consequences of temporarily losing the use of her dominant hand.

It had to be temporary, even though the Festival of the Ice Dragon was nearly upon them and the burns and scarring on her hand had not lessened. It was beginning to look as if her hand was beyond healing.

With a sigh, he set the wyvernstone on the table just as there was a knock at the door. With the festival approaching, there had been many villagers coming by to borrow tea and spices, and a smaller amount who asked about Lily in ways that he felt were not entirely appropriate. It was as if the situation that had taken hold of the village during the summer had been resurrected, only this time the attention converged upon their house. It was tiresome, but at least Lily seemed more like herself, if a bit distracted.

"Oh, Rycen," he said after he opened the door. "Good morning."

Rycen nodded in greeting, his hair falling into his eyes. "Yes, I think so," he said in a rush of words. While normally an intense young man, today Canas thought he seemed to be brimming with barely-contained energy. A living wyvernstone, of a sort. "I have urgent news. Is Lady Lily in?"

Smiling in apology, Canas opened the door wider. "Ah, no, she left to take a walk some time ago. Would you like to come in?"

"No, I have to be going soon. Sir Jorah and I are taking the witness, Arinn, to Edessa."

"Oh! Then Lady Yunice has decided to change her decision?"

"Um, no." Rycen looked down. "We are doing this without the permission of Lady Yunice."

Canas blinked, suddenly confused. "You...usually call Lady Yunice 'Grandmother', correct?"

"I used to, but the way everything has been, even if she had raised me...I found that I had been disapproving of her decisions as of late. I don't feel like she is the same woman who was my grandmother. That woman had been a brave and loyal pegasus knight who I could honor, but Lady Yunice is..." Rycen frowned as he looked up at Canas. "Once I let it be known that I agreed with Lady Lily, I had to move out. It was not just because of my own feelings, but Lady Yunice and Mynthia's feelings also changed, and Sir Jorah and Mina have been more of a family to the person I am now."

"That is...very sad," Canas said, at a loss for words. _Everyone is suffering because of this horrible circumstance...or is it that it has opened up what was festering inside? Perhaps Lily would know. Perhaps this is what has affected her so deeply._

Rycen stared directly into his eyes. "It is, but I will not stand down. Also...since I will be entering the Mercenary Knight Brigade, I will feel more useful to the Ilian cause. Though..." A smile appeared on his face. "I wonder if I can do as much for Ilia as you and Lady Lily have done for Corinth."

"Myself?" Canas blinked, bemused. "Ah...perhaps you meant only to refer to Lily?"

"No, I heard you also defended Corinth to the end of your limit. You may be a scholar, but you're also a warrior, too. You're truly one of us." The young man bowed his head, a gesture of respect Canas had seen Lily employ every so often, and when he raised his gaze again, there was resolve in his smile. "I was honored to be trained in the scholarly arts by you. I will certainly use your lessons to improve myself. Thank you, Master Canas."

"Ah...thank you. I was honored to be of help to you," Canas replied. As he watched Rycen go, he felt a bit melancholy at seeing his first student in Corinth venture forth onto a new life.

Melancholy, as well as proud.

-0-

"I wonder where they're going," Lily murmured to herself as she watched, from her vantage point near the top of the mountain, tiny figures mount tiny horses and made their way out of the village. There were only ever three or four horses in the village stable, and horses tended to all the look the same to her, but if she squinted she thought she could see Jorah take point while two boys followed behind. 

_I thought he was going to stay for a while longer. That's too bad. I hope his little party arrives in Edessa in good health._

The spirits swirled around her, caressing her bare face and chattering away, both actions comforting her. After she watched Jorah's group go, she turned around and made her way around to the back of the mountain, where far in the distance a white land ended and a grayish-blue sea began. Here as well were clusters of irial flowers, the small white flowers with the sweet scent she so loved. Each step she made was cautious due to the snow; she no longer had only herself to think about. 

Her mood, neutral before, dropped and tumbled anxiously inside her stomach. Finding a spot to sit in among all the flowers, she leaned against the mountain and closed her eyes as the wind swirled past her.

_I'm going to be a mother, and it scares me. I've always thought it would be nice to have a child or two, but now that it's happening..._

"Will I be a good mother?" she whispered to the spirits. If only her mother and father's spirits were still distinguishable from the myriad others of Ilia's fallen! She wanted to hear them tell her that everything would be all right, that she would do a wonderful job. Of course she would try her best for her child, but was it so wrong to want to hear her parents tell her that? Or was she just being weak? 

_I wonder if Iris had wanted the same thing, to tell our parents, to have had them be with her...or maybe it's different in Lycia. Maybe they don't cling to the family they have...maybe they take family for granted. In her letters, Iris never went into detail and I was so young and resentful. I didn't care about what she had to say._

Her right hand curled around a cluster of irial and pulled them out of the crack in the stone. Their true name was dragon's breath, white and plentiful just like snow, but the other countries didn't care for that name. Irial, she thought, didn't convey the same amount of weight and loveliness the flowers had. The Ice Dragon's breath, because the dragon that had cared for Ilia was a wonderful creature who only saw suffering when she looked upon the humans that called Ilia home, not hated enemies. 

_I'm not that nice. I'm not that kind. I can't even get along with other human beings if they're too different from me. How can I teach my child to be the best kind of person when I'm no good as an example? Am I supposed to say, "Follow your father, so long as he's not doing anything stupid?" Hah. Who am I to judge?_

It still hurt to try to move her left hand. She wondered if it would always hurt, if it would ever completely heal. She accepted that it might never heal, that she might never be able to use it. But if that was so, how would she make medicines with one hand? How would she cook? How would she be able to defend Corinth once she gave birth? 

She understood sacrifice, but she liked her left hand. She wrote with that hand. What was she going to do once the worst of the winter ended and she had parcels to receive and send, bother Canas to write her letters for her? Of course he wouldn't mind, but he did have his studies. Since they both had things more important than each other, she didn't feel it was right to intrude on his time with something he loved.

_What am I complaining about? I still have my right hand. I'm not useless. I won't needlessly drag down others because of my decisions...my sacrifices._

She looked around, feeling stupid all of a sudden. What was she doing, moping around about things that wouldn't change? Where the hell did she think she was to do something like that? She didn't have the luxury to brood, not with winter coming and the Festival of the Ice Dragon coming in two days and being Ilian and everything. She didn't have time for this. 

"Sorry Mother, Father. I'm afraid you've raised a foolish daughter," she muttered. She thought she could hear a distant chuckle in the wind, and there was a sudden heat behind her eyes. Closing her eyes, she waited for the feeling to pass before brushing the back of her left hand over her eyes, as casually as if she hadn't felt the passing need to cry.

_It's no good to be overemotional right now. I'm not going to keeping living as some stupid sobbing mess. I'm incredibly lucky! I've got a wonderful and kind husband who's probably been worried about me, great friends, I'm healthy and I'm going to be a mother!_

With an unsure smile, she tossed her handful of flowers to the wind and watched as they swirled and flew towards the ocean in the distance. She could smell the scent of dragon's breath all around her and it made her think of home and the upcoming festival. Just two more days, and then she would truly celebrate.

_Everything will be all right. And if it isn't, I'll make it so it is!_

-0-

Canas rather liked the Festival of the Ice Dragon, that annual feast where neighbors opened their doors and created large meals to be shared with each other in celebration of the dragon who had done much the same for their ancestors. Or so the legend went, considering how atypical it was to the actions of the dragons in the greater part of Elibe. This year promised to be a subdued festival, owing to the fact that the attack had only occurred two weeks ago, and everyone knew by the end of the day that Sir Jorah had left for Edessa to bring charges against the 'Lamia Six'. 

At least, he had thought it would be a subdued ordeal. On the same day that Sir Jorah had left, Lily returned in a way that left him absolutely stunned. She smiled, she grinned, and she ran around the house in the space of the final day of the month, cleaning and arranging with something like frenetic joy. And even if she did succumb to a spell of fatigue and nausea, he was still impressed. Her sudden liveliness was infectious, and by the end of the day they were both exhausted from their efforts. Even so, she smiled at him as if...well, she was not one to hide secrets unnecessarily, but it seemed to him that she was nearly bursting with some sort of news. He did not ask, though he observed her actions and concluded that it was not because she regained mobility of her left hand.

As far as tradition went, the first night of the festival was to be spent in one's own home. Lily created a meal that made him wish every night of the festival could be spent at home, and the bright smile she gave him after he voiced that thought made him feel as though everything was right with the world. 

"There's something I have to tell you," Lily said as they shared a pot of refreshing mint tea as a sort of dessert, and he watched her as she smiled and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "I'm sure you've noticed how I've been as of late, and I'm very sorry if I've worried you."

"Oh...well, you shouldn't worry. After all, you seem to be fully recovered in spirit," he replied, smiling at her. She grinned and looked away, her teeth worrying at her bottom lip in a way that brought to his mind how girlish she was acting. It amazed him how she could be a fearless warrior one day, and adopting adorable mannerisms the next; he could study her for the rest of his life and never truly feel as if he knew all there was to know about her!

She stood from her seat and walked over to him, gesturing at him to move over. He complied, curious as to what she was about to say. There was a moment of silence as her smile dropped, revealing a complicated expression that he could not quite understand; the best he could do was decipher that she was nervous, and that was only because of the way her gaze fluttered from his face to the table to her lap in a very short amount of time. She twirled a lock of hair around the fingers of her right hand until her eyes locked upon his, which caused her to cease her actions. Then she reached over and took one of his hands in hers, and he found he did not mind the coarseness of her bandaged left hand.

"...I'm sorry, I'm nervous," she said, a small giggle following her admission.

"I'll listen to whatever you have to say," Canas said. Fearing that he might be placing unneeded pressure upon her, he quickly followed that with, "But please, if you don't wish to tell me toni--"

"Tonight's the only night I can tell you!" Lily suddenly exclaimed, surprising him with her outburst. Grasping his hand, she looked him directly in his eyes. "Canas, I'm pregnant."

Three words, five syllables. Normally, he would be able to fully comprehend the sentence, its main idea, and extract the necessary information to store away for another day in the time it took to inhale. Somehow, though, this sentence seemed a bit stuck. He was certainly comprehending it (_Lily is pregnant_) and he understood what it meant (_we're having a child_) but then everything seemed to stutter to a stop. The only thing he could excavate in his vast vocabulary as an adequate response was, "Truly?"

She nodded, a small smile on her face as she looked down. "I couldn't believe it myself. I...I didn't even know until Rosliand told me, otherwise..." She laughed. "It's scary, isn't it?" 

"No, I--I'm happy." Suddenly, his mind started working again. He was happy. He was very happy. He was _ecstatic_. The synonyms kept rolling on, and underneath all the joy, the effusiveness, he was feeling proud in a way not entirely unrelated to his pride at Rycen's parting words. And Lily, lovely Lily, his wife Lily, was still smiling in that small, almost delicate sort of way. "Are you scared?" he asked, concern creeping at the edges of his elation.

"A bit. I've never had a child, you know." She grinned, and he smiled with her. "But let's do our best."

"Yes, of course," he replied.

"Oh, and another thing."

"Yes, Lily?"

She winked at him. "Congratulations on making it to twenty-six, Canas."

-to be continued-

And that's it for the second arc. See you in two weeks!

(For the terminally-bored, you can take a look over at my writing LJ, linked to my homepage in my profile, and check out the character database I have for SUtOT, among other things!)


	25. Hope Springs Eternal

Shadows Under the Oak Tree

(C) Intelligent Systems and Nintendo

-0-

25. Hope Springs Eternal  
(_Our child._)

During the second month of the pregnancy, Lily and Kelial took a walk, arm in arm, as the snow fell all around them.

"I still can't believe it," Kelial was saying. Lily smiled. It was the second time in thirty steps he had uttered that particular phrase. "You're pregnant! It's amazing! I mean, there's a baby growing inside of you and everything! Wow, I mean..." He looked down at her, the wide grin on his face giving him a more boyish charm. "Wow." 

She laughed and leaned into his arm. "I don't think even Canas was that excited, Kelial!"

"Well, I mean, can you blame me?" Concern darkened his expression as he frowned down at her. "Anyway, what are you saying, that he doesn't care?"

"Of course he cares," she said, shaking her head in exasperation, "he's more quietly happy, that's all."

Kelial nodded. "Oh, all right. Yeah, he's kinda quiet. Or is that just around me?"

"Hm, maybe." A snowflake drifted within reach, and Lily stuck out her tongue and caught it on the very tip. The cold of the snowflake was almost refreshing, even if the air around them was already chilly. "He goes on forever about his studies," she said, smiling fondly at the many memories she had of their discussions. It was his love for learning that drew them together, literally and figuratively, and she couldn't help but admit how endearing that trait was.

_Ah, these days I'm so sentimental about everything_, she thought as she placed her right hand on her belly. _Well, it's not bad to have some extra warmth in the winter._

"Huh. I kinda felt that way when he was talking to me about the wyvernstone." Concerned, Lily glanced at Kelial, but he only smiled at her. "But I guess he's not a bad sort. I was wondering when you were going to get pregnant, since it's been...what, two years?" 

"One and a half."

"Like I said, a while." He looked down at her with a grin, one of his eyebrows arched just so. "Don't tell me, he needed to find the right reference book for _that_?"

Lily stared at Kelial for a long time. When the light of comprehension finally flickered on, she smacked him on the arm.

"Wow, I barely even felt that. You hit like a mage." He smirked. "Oh, wait, I forgot, you are a mage."

"Hm, I am one, aren't I? Shouldn't you be more afraid..." she lowered her voice, "..._wyvern rider Kelial?_"

He laughed, uneasily. "It's just my luck I made friends with a magic user and an archer..." 

-0-

During the third month of the pregnancy, Canas studied. 

It was true that he was always studying, but recently he had been studying something rather personal to him: human pregnancy. There were precious few resources on the details of such an event in their house, so he had made sure to inquire discreetly about it during the Festival of the Ice Dragon. Little Rachel's mother, Mina, had been very helpful and he was able to produce a number of pages of notes on what to expect in the course of the pregnancy. Tinae did not know the meaning of the word discreet, but the dialogue that followed was rather enlightening, all the same. If only Lily had not begun to look so ill, they might have continued the discussion on childbirth itself.

And so, a month later while the snowstorm raged outside and Lily purged herself in the biological occurrence that apparently occurred during the first trimester of pregnancy, Canas studied. When he heard the creak of the privy door, he made sure to pour Lily a cup of peppermint tea, which were supposed to help ease her bouts of nausea. That was something he learned from her notes on herbs for teas.

Knowledge is power, it was said. While Canas did not necessarily care for power for power's sake, there was certainly something to be said for power for the sake of helping others, was there not?

-0-

During the fourth month of the pregnancy, Lily felt revitalized! 

Although she still felt a bit sick at times, the fatigue had mostly lifted and she felt more like herself than she had in months. Since it was now deep into winter, there wasn't much for her to do besides work on her medicines and update her formulae, so she often amused herself by working on her personal ongoing project: a crimson scarf. She envisioned fringe at the end and for it to serve many purposes other than to warm the neck. And when she was done with it, she would give it to Canas so he'd be warmer and more comfortable.

"Er...you are sure that's supposed to resemble a scarf?"

On the other hand, wouldn't the baby appreciate a swaddling blanket more...?

-0-

During the fifth month of the pregnancy there was an unusual spate of clear weather, so Lily invited Kelial and Tinae over. 

"Wow! Look at you!" Tinae exclaimed, rushing over to Lily and staring in awe at her burgeoning abdomen. "I can't believe it's been so long!"

Canas smiled as he watched his wife blush and fiddle with the end of her braid. It had seemed to him much the opposite of Tinae's words, with each day adding just a bit more to Lily's figure. Now her dresses were seeing fit to show the smallest curve; only her night robes revealed just how great of a transformation there had been in the last months. It was an exciting process to him, exacerbated by the subtle way her demeanor had changed. She used to be so worried, a thin veneer of stress over her features, but now she seemed more relaxed.

This was an observation that was not his alone, as Tinae clasped her hands and stared up at Lily. "Ah! You look so pretty!"

Kelial laughed, and Canas noticed that the other man seemed less dependent on his walking cane than usual. _How nice to see that everyone is doing well_, Canas thought, buoyed by the positive emotions in the room. "Hey, Tinae," Kelial said, "Lily always looks pretty. Though, I guess it's hard for your neck to have to look up that high, huh?"

"Bastard! That's not nice!" 

"Oh, calling me names is nice, then, shorty?"

"Tinae, thank you," Lily said, as Canas stared at the two visitors in alarm. Yes, he knew they were fairly volatile when they were together, but they seemed to derive such pleasure in their altercations.

"What are you thanking me for? It's true! You don't look like you've been running around and starving yourself for once." Canas watched Tinae gesture towards him, although she did not turn around. "That's very good that you're being taken care of. And being pregnant suits you really well." She seemed to consider something for a moment, and then she turned towards him and grinned. "So, you should get her pregnant more often!"

Lily yelled at Tinae, who was unrepentant. Kelial nearly collapsed with laughter. Canas blushed, then seriously considered it for a moment.

-0-

During the sixth month of the pregnancy, Lily waited. 

It was something she wasn't used to. In the past, if there was something wrong in the village, she was right there in the thick of it with her tomes or her medicines, ready for anything. That was the sort of life she had grown into, the life she loved. Even as a guardian, despite the fact that she had never intended to live that life, it still felt good to get involved, to be able to help.

Now, right this moment, Canas was doing her job. He was out there with Rosliand, defending the village. And all she could was wait.

She stroked her belly, already so big to her that she couldn't imagine why the baby needed to grow even more, and tried to read the meticulous notes Canas had taken regarding what he had observed during her pregnancy until now. His handwriting was legible, with a slant to it that made her think that he was constantly one word ahead of his hand, the letters small and orderly. That the man who could produce such delicate writing was also capable of wielding the dark energies that he was no doubt using this very moment was still as much of a surprise to her now as it had been when she had first seen him. It just didn't seem right, not even after three years.

_Will I ever get used to it?_ she wondered, cradling her rounded belly as if she needed to protect the child inside from her thoughts. Maybe she could become used to the magic, and maybe she would stop worrying, but for now all she could do was wait. Wait for Canas to come home, wait for the baby to be born, wait for the day she could defend the village again and not have anyone else forced to take the risk.

But she had never been a patient woman. 

-0-

During the seventh month of the pregnancy, there was a knock at the door. 

Canas rose to get it, and he heard Lily sigh, presumably in annoyance. Lately, she had numerous complaints about her opinion that 'he never let her do anything', which confused him. After all, she was quite far along now and she should not be putting any strain on her body. He would think that she would have been pleased with his reasoning, but apparently she was less than enthused about it.

When he opened the door, it was to his surprise to discover his mother before him. Then he smiled, elated that he could finally tell her that she was going to be a grandmother. "Good morning, Mother. It's been a while," he greeted with good cheer.

"You're unusually happy," was her response, punctuated by an arched eyebrow. He smiled wider.

"Do you think so?" He opened the door wider and let her pass by him. She stopped abruptly; when he looked past her he saw that Lily was now standing.

"Ah, Lady Niime, good morning," his wife said; she appeared somewhat bashful as she tucked her hair behind her ears, her bandaged hand on her very rounded abdomen. "As you can see, a lot of things have happened since the last time we saw each other."

It worried him when his mother said nothing in response. Lily's face began to show some concern; for his part, Canas could not see his mother's face without stepping before her, which seemed terribly like a bad idea at the moment.

After a long moment of silence, his mother turned on her heel and exited the house.

"...That's rude," he heard Lily mutter as she sat down again. "I know she disapproved of us, but that's just insulting."

_But she does approve of Lily_, Canas thought, stunned. Wrinkles of wounded feelings began to bunch up inside of him, and so he closed the door and returned to his tome on the properties of magical talismans, generally acting as if the entire incident had never occurred.

It was just as well. The next day, his mother returned with a valise and announced her intention to stay for the duration of Lily's pregnancy. 

-0-

During the eighth month of the pregnancy, Lily received a letter. 

_Lily,_

_I thought I would inform you as to the recent events regarding the Lamia Six. General Cassandra and the other captains took a vote as to the action they were going to take. I was excluded due to my involvement in the matter, but do not worry. By the time you have received this letter, the Lamia Six will have been escorted to Edessa and held until the trial. General Cassandra has been overanxious regarding her son and his illness, so the trial will be delayed until the summer. _

_Rycen has joined the 4th unit of the Mercenary Knights Brigade. They journey during the spring and summer and return for the winter, so he will be spending his winters in Edessa. With regards to the current news, that would be just as well. I am currently on leave, awaiting General Cassandra and her new orders, so please tell Mina not to worry. _

_Jorah_

"I wonder if it I looked overeager by sending that package of curatives," Lily wondered out loud, sweeping back her hair over her shoulder. "I did, didn't I?" 

_And if I did, is it really such a bad thing?_ she thought. She had never thought the pain of last autumn would simply fade away, but it surprised her that she was still motivated in seeing the betrayers punished for their involvement. Why wasn't she more focused on the impending childbirth? Her child should be more important to her than all this.

_My child is more important than the village? Hm...I can't say I like that way of thinking._

"I wouldn't think so," Canas said, glancing up from his notes. "It has never been your prerogative to let anyone suffer illness. And I highly doubt that you're only concerned with the judgment from the trial." 

"I don't know. I _am_ concerned with that and what it means for us and Ilia as a whole." Lily tossed the letter onto the table and reached for her cup. "Just reading this letter reminds me of all the pain of that day."

Now he was giving her a concerned look. "Are you all right?" 

"Yes, I'm fine." Sighing, Lily placed a hand on her belly and let her hand drift over the curve of it. She remembered the first time the baby kicked and how amazed she and Canas had been; now the baby didn't move very much, but it seemed to be having fun nudging at things in her body that didn't like being nudged at all. "I just wish I could've done more. Or could still do more."

"Lily..." The look he was now aiming at her made her think that he was choosing his words carefully. "You already do so much for everyone. I truly admire that, but I think that you, of all people, deserve to rest. Especially since--"

"I'm pregnant. Yes, I've noticed. I can't really forget, you know."

-0-

During the first week of the ninth month of the pregnancy, Canas was nervous. 

Lily appeared to be the same as she had been recently, fairly irritated, but he thought he could ascertain a sort of nervousness behind her actions as well. His mother had stated that his wife could go into labor anytime after the eighth month and it would be acceptable, but now that they had reached the ninth month it was the optimal time for the birth.

He had been contemplating what would happen after the birth far more now than he had been at the beginning of the pregnancy. Previously the process seemed rather amorphous to him, seeing as it was not occurring inside his own body. He was an outsider to the event, an idea that he was used to and embraced. He took notes daily on the progression and assisted Lily the best he could. He had felt the first stirrings of the child inside Lily with a vague sort of admiration, and had lain awake at night as Lily headed to the privy many times in a single night with an acute sense of resignation. He watched and he waited, knowing--with no small amount of pride--that he was the father of the child inside her, but not actually having that sink in until now, when the birth was imminent.

Soon, very soon indeed, he knew that he would see his child--their child--and he would be able to affect the child directly, day to day, every day.

Canas was nervous. Nervous, but happy.

-0-

During the first week of the ninth month of the pregnancy, Lily was tired. 

She was tired because she couldn't sleep at night, she was sick and tired of all the changes to her body, a body she had been very comfortable with before the weight gain and the leaking and the heavy sense of fatigue that made it difficult for her to concentrate on creating medicines more complex than 'put these herbs into a container and fill with water'. She could no longer remember what it felt like to dodge bandits as their weapons whistled through the air; was she really that fast once?

If nothing else, Lady Niime had been preparing her for the actual birth, along with half the female population of the village. If a child was born during the right time, spring through summer, then the birth tended to be an event in which the mothers of the village assisted the new mother with their knowledge and companionship. Lily appreciated knowing her friends and neighbors were going to help her through it, not just Lady Niime. They got along well enough, but sometimes Lily was discomfited by the way Lady Niime stared at her belly, as if there was something really and truly precious there. A child, yes, but...perhaps she was just imagining it?

_Out. Out. Out, out, out_, she thought to herself as a daily mantra. _Out. Out. Out, out, out._

-0-

On the seventh night of the ninth month of the pregnancy, Canas was awoken rather roughly by a hand gripping his shoulder and shaking him into consciousness. 

"Yes, yes, what do you need?" he asked as he rolled over and reached for his monocle on his nightstand. Sometimes Lily had a craving for ice, but she usually was not so insistent about it. "More ice?"

"You need to get your mother."

Her tone was that of barely-contained panic, and the same rose in him as he comprehended the meaning behind her words. He turned to her, forgetting his monocle in his shock. "You...ah, the baby is..."

"Dammit, Canas, I can't even ask for one thing--" the rest of her sentence was obscured by the sounds of her shifting around. He realized that she was trying to get out of bed and reached for her shoulder by instinct.

"No, don't worry, I'll get Mother! J-just lie down and relax, please..." He did not wait to see if Lily did as he requested, stumbling out of bed as he was. The darkness did not impede his already hindered eyesight, and soon he was knocking on the door and hoping that his mother did not decide on a whim to teleport to Lycia or somewhere equally unreachable. In short time the door was opened, and he was grateful that he could not see her expression. "Mother, Lily is--"

"What an inconvenient time to give birth," his mother interrupted, a heavy sigh following her statement. "Well? Don't just stand there. Get the tub, then start heating the water."

He nodded, returning to his bedroom to retrieve warmer clothing and his monocle before doing as he was told. His mother had been adamant he knew what his duties were during the birth--assist with the preliminary chores, then stay away until after the child was born. He was also to notify the women who had already indicated they wished to be present to help Lily feel more comfortable. Canas supposed it paralleled the behavior towards the pegasi, in which women were encouraged to linger around the fantastic creatures while men were outlawed from the areas in which the pegasi roamed free.

Although he was willing to acquiesce to the cultural demands, he had to admit an interest in witnessing the birth of his child.

It was dark outside when he went to the bathhouse to roll the circular tub into the house and up to the bedroom, where Lily and his mother were sitting on the bed and talking in low tones. The lanterns were burning, and he could see the lines of stress marring his wife's forehead as she wrapped her arms around her generous girth. "The water is being heated at the hearth. Is there anything else you would like me to do?" he asked, concerned but trying to dampen it for her sake.

"From this point on it's up to her," his mother answered, which he responded to with a nod while keeping his eyes on Lily. She returned his gaze for a moment before she smiled, a weak resemblance to her normal smiles.

"I'll be fine, so stop staring at me like that." Laughter bubbled up from her and he smiled, uncertain. Oh, if he could only do more! "Just go over to Kelial's and sleep there. Don't even worry about getting the others; they'll be here in the morning. It seems that it'll be a while until the actual birth happens, so relax."

That Lily could be so solicitous even now calmed him. He sighed, more emotions than he could describe in that single act. "Yes, of course. Erm...good luck?"

She laughed again, and he left feeling somewhat awkward. It was only after he was outside again when he realized that he did not know where Kelial lived. After some guesswork (_Kelial was able to easily escape to Rosliand's house during the attack, even with his leg, therefore he must live closer to the mountain_) he had narrowed his search to two houses just before the oaks. It was still dark, but by now he was cold and tired and still somewhat worried about Lily, so he threw caution to the wind and approached one of the houses. Steeling himself, he knocked, and was quite embarrassed when a woman answered the door.

"Who are you?" she asked, and if he had to deduce her mood he would assume that she was rather annoyed. Locks of long, light-colored hair tumbled past her shoulders, which were covered by a long fur pelt she had wrapped around her body. He blushed after he surmised that she in a shocking state of undress under the pelt.

_Who would sleep without--_ He stopped that convoy of thought before it steered itself towards the obscene. "Forgive me, I was looking for Kelial's house..." he answered without answering her question. At the moment, he wanted to remove himself from this situation in as expedient a manner as possible.

"Oh, Kelial?" She gestured behind her. "He's sleeping." 

Canas was sure he did not have any word in his vocabulary as fitting as, "Oh."

The woman seemed to frown. "Aren't you Lily's husband? You have that queer glass eye thing."

"Er, actually, it's called a monocle."

"Good for you. So, Lily's gone into labor, then?"

He thought Lily had gone into labor ever since the baby had grown so much that even walking around was rather laborious for her, but he nodded. "Yes. She is doing fine, but I, er, am a bit displaced for the moment, so I thought I would--"

"Say no more, I understand. Come in." Grateful, he followed her inside the house. "Kelial keeps all his art stuff in the spare room, so you'll have to sleep on one of the couches," the woman said, and he thought she sounded apologetic. "He likes to sleep in, so don't worry about being disturbed. I'll find some spare quilts or something, all right?"

"Oh, er, you don't have to go through the trouble..." he began to protest, but then she reached up and put her finger on his lips, stunning him with such an intimate action.

"Don't worry. Since you're Lily's husband, I'll treat you right." She left, leaving him very relieved as he sat down on the closest couch. It was small and he was uncomfortable, but the quilts the woman brought were warm and soon he fell asleep, thinking of his wife and the child that would surely be out in the world by the time he awoke.

-0-

"Yeah, so uh, Camilla told me you were here. I mean, that you had to sleep here and all." 

Canas paused between bites of the bland porridge Kelial had made for breakfast. "Camilla? Is that the name of the woman who invited me in earlier?" he asked, furrowing his brow as he tried to remember any distinguishing characteristics about the woman, who had apparently left before he awoke. He thought he should know all the inhabitants of Corinth by now; Lily or Rosliand had told him once that the population was around forty or so. It had been too dark and he had been too distracted to notice anything then, but now it was easy to observe Kelial cough into his hand.

"Uh, yeah. We're friends." Kelial suddenly smiled at him. "But that's between us, okay?"

"As you like," Canas agreed, not at all interested in Kelial's personal life. At the moment, he was much more concerned with other matters. "I think I will go and see how Lily is doing."

Kelial shrugged. "Tinae will probably come over once the baby's out, so don't worry about it. In Bern, it's bad luck for a man to enter during the birth. That's like a woman on a ship, really bad news."

_I wonder if it is the same in Ilian lore. But superstition is merely that..._ "Maybe it is as you say, but I feel I should attempt it, at least. There has been no word yet, and it has been quite a while..." Canas said, knowing that he was stoking the embers of his own worry but unable to quell his concern. He was not with her, so he did not know of her condition, nor the child's, but he felt that he should be aware.

For a man whose existence rested on his need to know, this was torture. 

"Sometimes it takes a long time," Kelial was saying when Canas tuned into his surroundings again. "I remember when my mother wanted to make my eldest brother feel guilty, she'd tell him about how she spent a day in labor just to have him. Worked, too."

"A day?" Canas asked, frazzled by the mere _idea _of it.

"Uh-huh." 

"...W-well, nevertheless, I will go and inquire..." Still in a state of shock, Canas stood. "Thank you for your hospitality."

With a grin, Kelial waved him away. "It's nothing. Tell Lily that I hope she's doing all right."

_A day? No one else ever mentioned that as a possibility. Not my mother, or Tinae, or Mina...perhaps it was just an exaggeration? It seems a bit...excessive._ As he strode towards his house, Canas comforted himself with refuting Kelial's claim. _Not that I doubt his veracity, only that I simply cannot believe...oh, I never imagined that the onus of responsibility that Lily would have to bear would be so great..._

As he approached his house, he saw that their bedroom window was open. He could hear many different feminine voices but could not understand what they were saying; they all spoke in clear, calm tones, with a spate of laughter every now and then. This cheered him up; perhaps Lily had given birth by now? He could not even feel resentment for not being notified immediately, so great his relief was. 

It was a very different scene he beheld when he entered the bedroom. For one, Lily was still very pregnant. She was sitting on the end of the bed, her sleeping robes hiked up to reveal long, white legs up to the mid-thigh. To complete the image, she had also been in the process of consuming a bread roll filled with meat when he entered the room, as if nothing was out of place. Certainly, she did not appear to be giving birth or anything unusual, even though their bathtub was just before her feet as if it had always belonged there.

The look she gave him was one of surprise. This was not so for the other women in the room; each of them, including his mother, aimed stares at him that made him feel most fervently that he was not welcome. "Ah...er, forgive me, I, I wished to see how, erm, Lily was doing..." he forced himself to say, although his mind was in full self-preservation mode; his mother in particular appeared annoyed, which had never been pleasant to witness.

"I'm fine," Lily said, still appearing rather surprised. She looked around, then shook her head. "Canas, shall we talk outside?"

"O-outside? But it's cold outside--"

"The room. Outside the room."

He considered this. "But in your condition..."

"It seems your condition's more dire than mine at the moment," she remarked in a dry tone, before standing up and walking over to him. With a gentle push she steered him out of the room, and closed the door behind her. "Is something wrong?"

"Not really..." Now that he was able to see her, he did feel much better about the situation as a whole. She looked tired, but fairly cheerful considering the circumstances. "How are you doing?"

"Oh, I've been better." She laughed, patting the curve of her stomach. "According to everyone else, I'm weird because this is taking so long. The contractions hurt, but I'm not a herbalist just to make tea." There was a smile on her face at that, and he thought she appeared fairly proud of herself at the moment.

He adjusted his monocle, still somewhat confused by the recent events. "But shouldn't you be in bed?"

She stared at him. "I'm not tired."

"Well, er, no, I meant..." He thought about how to discreetly voice his thoughts, then said, "I once read an account of a noblewoman and, ah, it was glossed over but she...bore her daughter in bed."

"But that would ruin the bed. I already had a time trying to get the bedding replaced after the attack." Patting him on the arm with her bandaged hand, Lily smiled. "Don't worry, your mother and everyone else knows what they're doing. At least, I'd think so."

"Oh. Yes, you're right. Ah, forgive me for barging in, then." Embarrassed, Canas smiled. "I am...very nervous."

"So am I," she confessed with a giggle. "But the hardest job is ahead, so I'm going to save my energy for that. So don't worry, just go back to Kelial's and wait."

It was an impulse, but with all the tension he had felt as of late, he felt he could be allowed to follow through at least this. Leaning over, he kissed her on the cheek, the simple gesture of affection she often used that he had always appreciated. When he moved away, she was smiling up at him, her eyes shining, and he was suddenly struck by the worry that she was going to start crying. After she blinked, though, her eyes only seemed normal again.

With her injured hand, she reached for his hand and squeezed softly, all the movement her hand allowed her after eight months of therapy. "Everything will be all right," she said with a smile.

"Kelial hopes you'll be fine," he murmured; anything louder seemed disrespectful to the moment.

She reached up and caressed the side of his face, the bandages scratchy against his skin. "I'll be fine," and it was the way she said it, as a response to Kelial but meant for Canas himself, that made him truly believe that everything was as she said it would be. Finding peace in her words, he took a tome with him before returning to Kelial's house.

-0-

It was growing late, but Canas could not pull his attention away from his tome on alchemical studies long enough to inquire as to when Kelial intended to eat. It did not help that Kelial had been working on a picture since he returned from his meeting with Lily; Canas did not wish to make himself a nuisance when the older man was working on his livelihood. So Canas read and tried to ignore the hunger pulsing inside him. 

It was an idyllic scene. That was why it had to be disrupted with extreme prejudice.

"_IT'S A BOY!_"

Canas was sure he had lost years of his life due to the shock on his heart. Kelial screamed and dropped his paintbrush. A soothing, moderate voice broke through the ensuing silence as they fought to recover: "Perhaps we shouldn't have done that, Tinae?" 

A sigh could be heard. "It's not my fault they're both wimps."

Once Canas remembered how breathe, he focused his attention on the door, where Tinae and Mina stood. Before he could open his mouth to speak, Kelial had jabbed a finger in the ladies' direction. "What the hell--have you ever heard of knocking?" he yelled, the portrait of righteous indignation.

"It was a surprise!" Tinae yelled back. "You were surprised, weren't you?"

"Surprised into a heart attack, sure!"

"P-pardon me. Forgive me for interrupting," Canas said, having recovered his voice. "Did you just say--is the child, I mean, I have a son?"

Mina nodded. "He's very cute. He has your hair."

"He has my--he has hair? My hair?"

"Oh, blessed saint...Canas!" Canas whirled around on instinct to face Kelial, who pointed at the door. "Go!"

"Ah, yes! Er, forgive me...ah, thank you, everyone!" With a short nod, he hurried out the door and towards his home, thoughts racing through his mind at speeds he thought could not possibly be attainable under normal conditions. It felt good when he reached his house, even as out of breath as he was.

He entered the home to a smattering of applause; there were some women in the sitting room, including his mother, and he blushed in response at the sight of everyone appearing so pleased to see him. He could not recall a time when his mother had such a wide smile. "Ah...thank you?" he uttered, completely at a loss as to what to say.

His mother gestured to the hallway with the end of her staff. "Are you going to spend your time staring at us?" Although the words were blunt, her tone was light, almost friendly.

The hallway had never seemed so imposing; it was as if it stretched from here to eternity. He walked forward, aware of a sudden odd pressure building inside of him, all the nervousness and uncertainty of earlier forming an encore that was not entirely unwanted. It somehow made the moment that much more real. Here he was, twenty-six cycles old, a new father.

Could he have ever imagined his life here, now, in this moment?

His hand pressed against the doorknob before he grasped it, twisted it, and pushed forward. Anything he had to say seemed to float away from his mind as soon as he entered the room. The lanterns on their respective nightstands were lit, bathing the room in a cheerful glow. Lily was in bed, and in her arms there was a bundle of crimson.

What could he say when confronted by such a simple scene?

Lily looked up at him and smiled. "Canas. I thought nothing could hurt worse than setting myself on fire, but this here proved how wrong that thought was. You want any more children, you'll have to bear them yourself." She laughed, a quiet sound, and he smiled awkwardly. He felt as if he were intruding or something equally ridiculous, but a salient feeling all the same. Perhaps she sensed it, because her smile grew wider. "Come on, don't be shy. Meet your son."

He walked to the bed and sat on the edge of his side. Inexplicably, he felt the urge to take off his boots, and then to get in beside her. Peering at the bundle, he was amazed at the sight. There was a face there, one with closed eyes and purple fuzz sticking up from the top of the child's head.

What could he say? "He's quite cute," he whispered, afraid to wake the dozing child.

"Mm. He reminds me of you."

"Oh." He chuckled, peering even closer at his son's face. "What color are his eyes?"

"Blue, for now. Your mother said they'll darken to purple in weeks."

"Oh." And there was no way around the next question: "Can I hold him?"

She glanced at him, obvious amusement in her eyes. "I was waiting for you to ask." Lifting up the baby, she nodded towards his arms. "Hold your arms like how I am," she told him, and just as he complied she was already putting their son into his arms. He could not examine the feeling that arose in him as he gazed at the baby in his arms, only enjoy it for what it was.

"My...he already feels somewhat big."

"He's very lucky. Most Ilian babies weigh less. It's probably because he was carried a bit past full term."

"I see." The hair on their son's head was fine and soft to the touch of the one finger Canas dared to sweep over the baby's scalp. It was the same color as his own hair, just as Mina had reported. _Will he grow up to look like me?_ he wondered, curiously pleased by the idea. Then another idea struck him. "Does he seem to be able to see out of both eyes?" he asked Lily, worry creeping into his tone.

She patted him on his shoulder. "We'll find out as he grows up. But don't worry, my side of the family has great vision." He smiled at this, adjusting his hold on his son, who yawned at the movement. Canas was mesmerized, and Lily giggled. "I'm jealous. He looks like you. I wonder if there's anything of me in him." 

"I'm sure there is," Canas said, quite certain of his statement. As he saw it, their child would be the worse for it if he did not inherit many of Lily's traits.

_After all, he is our son, the child we made together. Such an adorable child..._

As far as he was concerned, Canas' one true pleasure in life was the pursuit of knowledge.There were many methods to the learning process, an infinite number of paths to the core of knowledge. Studying elder magic had been one; marrying Lily quite another. 

And now, in his arms, a very precious one.

-to be continued-

Oi, long chapter. Yay to the start of the last arc! I'm sorry this chapter was delayed for a day. From now on, new chapters will appear every other Thursday, as I have a very early morning class on Wednesdays and I often have to prepare discussion notes on the same week a chapter is posted. 

I did a lot of research for this chapter months in advance, as I cannot claim, nor do I ever wish to claim, to be an expert in childbirth. I decided to stay as far away from describing childbirth as possible, partly because I'm squeamish, partly because fathers are so underrepresented in fanfiction. For some ungodly reason, there are birthing videos on YouTube, so if you're dying of curiosity, head over there.

-The cravings of pregnant women are called pica. However, a pica that is not dependent on pregnancy is the one for ice, which tends to indicate anemia. It's hard enough to get iron-rich foods in a place like Ilia other than from liver and maybe fish without the strain of a second mouth to feed.


	26. Letters from Edessa

Shadows Under the Oak Tree

(C) Intelligent Systems and Nintendo

-0-

26. Letters from Edessa  
(_Adapting. Actions and consequences._)

Lily,

General Cassandra greatly appreciated the medicines and wishes to thank you for your kindness. It seems your contacts are better than Edessa's, because many of the herbs you labeled are priced higher through trade with the governments and the Union places a priority on food. Zealot is doing better, and General Cassandra is reconsidering purchasing priority. 

The trial is being delayed for several reasons. The 5th wing of the pegasus knight brigade, the Lightwings, has recently lost their flight leader and there are several nominations to be considered. It appears their vice-commander, a young woman of no greater age than Rycen, will be elected. Also, there are not enough commanders in Edessa at this time to form a quorum for the trial. Finally, one of the Lamia Six has committed suicide and security measures have been adjusted accordingly.

Tell Tinae that Nikeah is currently with an Etrurian mercenary group. By the look of the reports, she is doing well and is currently being considered for service in one of the wings. How your pregnancy is coming along?

Jorah

-0-

"Huh, he's cute." 

Smiling, Canas glanced up from his compilation of notes regarding the wyvernstone. Lily and Kelial were standing, and from where Canas sat, he could see Kelial peer down at the bundle in Lily's arms. As had been the case for the last week and a half since the baby's birth, his son was sleeping peacefully even as a number of people cooed over him. "Isn't he?" Lily giggled, her voice full of pride. Canas could understand this; he had been in a perpetual state of pride and good cheer as of late, even when Lily woke him up in the night to change and wash the baby's diapers.

"Yeah. Hey, he has hair. My little brothers and sisters didn't have hair when they were born." Canas could see Kelial smile. "Aw, he just sniffled. Guess he didn't think much of what I said, huh? You think he'd mind if I held him?"

"Of course not." She handed the baby over to Kelial, and Canas would have to admit that he felt uncomfortable--did Kelial even know how to properly handle a newborn child? His fears abated somewhat when Kelial held his son with an ease that was...different, to say the least.

"He sure likes his sleep," Kelial commented, before glancing at Canas. "Heh, what's with that look? Back home I have a couple nephews, so I learned how to handle babies. I'm probably even better at it than Rosliand there." He gestured with a nod of his head at Rosliand, who was sitting across from Canas and sipping a cup of tea; Canas watched her roll her eyes in response.

Lily laughed, turning to smile down at him. "Canas, it's not like you to act so mistrustful."

"Ah--that's not what I meant to imply," he started, but since he had been nervous over Kelial handling his child, he found that he had nothing else to say. "Er, my apologies."

There was a smirk on Kelial's face. "Is that what it's like to be a new father? My father probably stopped caring after the fifth kid." He turned to Rosliand, whom Canas had noticed as being unusually aloof, even for herself, and held out the baby in a way that Canas would really have preferred his son not be held. "Hey, wanna hold him?"

Rosliand stared at the proffered child and moved her head back slightly, her nose wrinkling in a way that Canas construed as avoidance at the least and disgust at the most, and was mildly hurt by the reaction. "No," she answered, her tone as chilly as the morning air.

Kelial paused, then shrugged. "Sure. Here you go, Lily," he said, handing the baby back to her, who immediately cradled the baby in the proper way, something that went a long way towards making Canas feel more at peace. "I gotta say, I thought all women liked babies," Kelial said as Lily moved to sit down beside Canas. The baby still slept, but when Canas looked up at Lily's face, expecting to see a smile or some other acknowledgment, he noticed that she was watching the proceedings on the other side of the table with a slight frown on her face.

"You thought wrong," Rosliand answered, her face not betraying any emotion.

"Well, I'm used to hearing that." Kelial sat down, his attention completely on the older woman. "Still, it's not natural for a woman to not like children. I mean, all things considering."

Rosliand closed her eyes, lines marring her brow, and Canas suddenly had a premonition of ill portent; he could remember the sudden welling of fear that would rise inside him should his mother react in that manner. "Perhaps I have a good reason," she said, her tone reminding Canas of a slender razor, such as the one he used to shave, and the disquiet he felt deepened.

Disbelief was plain to read on Kelial's face. "Eh? A good reason?" He grinned, nudging her arm. "What's that, did a baby take away your favorite sword or something?"

"Kelial!" Lily shouted, startling Canas and waking the baby. Large dark blue eyes looked around for a moment before the baby scrunched up his face and began to cry. "Oh, sorry, sorry," she said in a higher-pitched tone, rocking the child until his cries quieted.

Kelial shook his head. "I get it. I shouldn't have asked. Sorry, Rosliand." He grinned at the woman in question. "Forgive me?"

Sighing, Rosliand turned her head away from Kelial. "If you keep using your charm so easily, it'll stop working."

"I'm charming?" There was a different type of grin on his face now, one that reminded Canas of certain types of knights who could be found within the inns and public houses throughout his journeys. "Thanks. Hearing that from you made my day. Hell, it made my week, maybe even my month depending how things go."

"Try not to overdo it," Rosliand said in the blandest tone Canas had ever heard since his mother had uttered, "You want to marry who?" He turned to Lily, his apprehension over the developing situation fading, and was struck by the odd expression on her face. She still appeared worried, and kept glancing over at their friends.

Is something wrong, he almost inquired, before realizing that she might not want to reveal it while they still had company. Instead, he murmured, "Can I hold him?" She started a bit, then smiled at him.

"You don't have to ask," she said, and Canas was fascinated by how easily their son slept, even in his arms.

-0-

Lily, 

The trial has begun. I am not able to reveal much. Perhaps later I can tell you about some of the occurrences, although I do not think you would be pleased to hear them.

I had not realized that time had gone by so quickly. I had forgotten about the winter. With my old schedule, I had forgotten that seasons do not exist in Ilia. I must admit a bit of jealousy that you bore a son, although Rycen is a surrogate son to me. I trust your husband is pleased? To think of it, a male child holds a different meaning in Ilia than in the other countries. There must be a lot of relief in your home.

Jorah

-0-

During the last couple months of her pregnancy, Lily had begun to grow fond of Lady Niime. There was always an element between the two that made Lily feel uneasy, but since Lily couldn't explain what it was, she dismissed it as nervousness over the pregnancy itself, or just something to do with the pregnancy. Whatever it was, it probably wasn't important and would go away after the baby was born. 

So, why did she still feel as if she were treading on the edge of a razor?

Rosliand had already swept Canas away to take care of a band of bandits, leaving Lily and the baby alone with Lady Niime. Lily resented the bandits for that much, and she was annoyed that she still had several months to go before she considered herself recovered enough to go out and fight, not to talk of convincing anyone else. To make matters worse, Lady Niime was holding her child. She didn't know why, but the sight of the old woman trailing gnarled fingers over the baby's cheek made her want to snatch her son away.

_Well, I only had him just a little over a month ago. It's just the irrationality of a new mother's feelings_, Lily told herself, pursing her lips as her son gurgled and reached for his grandmother's fingers. _Once I get used to everything, my senses will return and everything will be okay._

Silence loomed over them in the small sitting room. She was still clinging to the belief that she could knit a scarf for Canas, even though the first one had been an abject failure (though it _was_ a nice swaddling blanket). It was difficult work with her left hand, as her fingers still refused to curl without pain, but she knew that the pain was good--it meant that her hand could still heal. She even welcomed the letters and packages she received, because it allowed her to practice writing with her right hand.

She would recover, and she would learn to make up for the things she had lost. That was the Ilian way. Now, if she could only stop feeling so paranoid...

"Is something the matter?"

Lily bit the inside of her lip, then winced at the pain. "Um, why would you ask that?" she asked, feeling guilty. She could understand why Canas was unnerved around his mother half the time.

Lady Niime's eyes seemed to pierce through her with a gaze that Rosliand would be proud of. Lily stared back, not willing to show weakness even though the proper response would've been to show deference to her elder. Finally Lady Niime shook her head, the shawl she wore over her head slipping with the movement. "You used to be prettier. Try to get more sleep."

The backhanded compliment, followed by a bit of motherly advice, annoyed and confused Lily. "Thank you," she could only say before returning to pulling out the latest snags in her scarf.

Across the table, Lily could hear a whispery chuckle, a sound that reminded her of sifting salt. "Does it bother you so much when my son is fighting? You seem so anxious."

"I don't like it," she said before she could stop herself. Looking up at Lady Niime again, Lily laid down her knitting needles on her lap. "It was better when I was the one defending the village."

"You have so little faith in my son's abilities?" There was an odd smile on the elderly woman's face, as if it were a disguise for something ugly. It was a smile that told Lily to tread carefully.

"I have a lot of faith for Canas. Please don't misunderstand me. It's only..."

"Only?"

_I'm the only one who should be at risk. Not my husband, not anyone else. Even if I've failed once, I can still do my job. _

Lily smiled. "I'm sorry, but I don't want to talk about that." 

The look on Lady Niime's face was that of amusement. "Very well. I only wanted to hear my daughter's thoughts. After all, we should get to know each other better. I intend to visit more often."

There were a lot of problems in those three sentences as far as Lily was concerned. She didn't like the idea of being 'Lady Niime's daughter'; she already had a mother, one whom she still loved deeply. Ilian customs were vague on situations like this, as a family with three generations was a rarity, and she knew it was best to leave that alone. No, it was the idea that Lady Niime would be visiting more often that truly bothered her. After all, that woman had made it a point to avoid visiting until she absolutely had to, and only at her convenience. It only made Lily's fears become that much more tangible.

"Ah, I see." Now Lily also understood Canas' love for neutral phrases. "That's the convenience of teleportation, right?"

Lady Niime smiled, this time with affection. "It is the most useful spell in my repertoire. I have always had a love for travel. What about yourself?"

Lily thought of her collection of pictures, scenes from all around Elibe. The rolling hills of western Etruria, the golden fields of Pherae, the bustling city scenes where everyone dressed in light clothes while the sun burned from a distance. She had wanted to fly to see those places, a bonus to helping Ilia. How she had craved to step into those pictures and find herself in those new worlds!

Maybe it was her age, a modest twenty-seven cycles, seeping into her bones. That was retirement age for a pegasus knight. Maybe it was her family, with a husband who had traveled extensively for years and could still want to settle down in Corinth, and a son to raise. Maybe it was her village, where her friends lived and her duties resided. Maybe it was all those reasons and more that caused her to confess, "I've only been to Edessa once, when I was little. I'd always thought I'd like to travel, but I'm happy here."

There was a glimmer in Lady Niime's dark eyes. It reminded Lily of her own mother, who always had a certain sparkle in her eye whenever Lily had said something she had especially liked. Lily remembered how she had always tried her hardest at everything just so her mother would look at her with such fondness. To compare her mother's look with Lady Niime's felt strange, but not horribly so.

Her son stretched out little arms towards his grandmother, who responded by cradling and rocking him, and Lily found that she was a little less bothered by that.

-0-

Lily, 

The trial has ended. The vote for execution will be made by the time this letter reaches you, and if that does not pass, then there will be a vote for punishment, and then a vote for freedom. Commander Leto made a joke about creating a vote for changing the vote system, but it did not get the response she wanted. It has been a very trying few weeks. General Cassandra has allowed me to relate to you the details of the trial, should you wish to hear them.

Your son certainly sounds like a pleasant child. From what Mina has told me, Rachel had been much the same way, but Elysia was and is far more fussy and prone to crying fits. I feel badly that I was unable to witness this for myself, but that is in the past. How is Rachel doing with her studies? I hope she is not giving your husband any trouble.

Jorah

-0-

While Canas was very happy with having a son, his new students assured him that he would have been just as pleased with a daughter. 

Rachel, the elder daughter of Sir Jorah and Mina, was a young girl with a dazzling smile and a fierce intelligence. She had a willingness and desire to inquire, learn, and challenge herself. However, her ability to draw the characters of the Elibean alphabet was severely compromised by the fact that her artistic skill was even worse than Lily's. Considering that he had given her the alphabet to copy during the long winter, when they could not meet for lessons, he was at a loss to explain it. Lily had clear and precise handwriting, so he believed that, with time and practice, he would eventually be able to read Rachel's 'O' and 'Y' as different symbols.

But Rachel was not his only student. Where Rachel went, her best friend Sami was not far behind. Or behind at all, in his observances. They sat next to each other, held hands while they walked, and tended to talk and gesture in the exact same way. Although Sami was Tinae's youngest daughter, her temperament was sweet and relaxed, which he had to admit sighing in relief about. He could not imagine teaching letters to a miniature Tinae. The course of study was more difficult for Sami, who fidgeted the longer she had to stay in one place, and the normal methods of teaching failed her. What he discovered, however, was that she was a rather visual type of person; her penmanship had been legible since the first day she picked up a writing implement, and when he had inquired further he learned that she likened the shapes of letters to things like bird and wolf tracks, or the designs on her brother's Sacaean garments.

Nurturing the learning potential in his new round of students was almost--no, perhaps even more--important than teaching them the basics of reading and writing. He realized that he had made a mistake with Rycen, as he had not tailored the studies to the young man's learning style but rather taught him in a rather arbitrary way, one that only succeeded because Rycen had a singular capacity for determination. He felt the enormous pressure of preparing his students for their personal paths to knowledge, as well as teaching the next generation.

But how he loved it! After all, they were not the only students. He, as well, learned quite a lot; there was the analysis to discover what teaching methods worked best for his young charges, as well as guiding them through steps, answering their many questions, and finding out the answers to those questions whose answers had initially eluded him. It was all, quite simply, a fascinating experience.

"Master Canas, what're we going to do today?" Rachel asked once she and Sami were properly seated.

"Well, I thought you could work on your letters some more, and Sami could try whole sentences before we moved on to reading." He held up what he considered to be a thin tome. "This is a collection of stories about the legendary heroes who saved Elibe from the terrible threat of the dragons."

"But I don't like letters," Rachel protested.

"Mommy and Auntie Lily say that the Ice Dragon is a good dragon," Sami informed him.

_Perhaps I went about that in the wrong way_, he considered. Aloud, he said, "I see. Why don't you like letters, Rachel?"

She looked up at him from across the table with an earnest expression. "They're boring and they make my fingers hurt. And I always have to do them at every lesson and Sami doesn't and that's not fair 'cause we always do everything else together."

He opened his mouth to respond, then realized that she was probably not going to appreciate his justifications. Looking over at Sami, he noticed that she did not look like she was on the verge of a pout, like Rachel did. "Hmm. Sami, do you feel the same?"

"I don't know. I like working on sentences. But I wanted to tell you that the Ice Dragon is nice and good and _not_ terrible."

"Oh, of course. These stories do not refer to the Ice Dragon, but rather other types of dragons that were involved in the war." He smiled, to which Sami smiled back, before he returned his attention to Rachel. She was looking at him in a very patient sort of way, which oddly reminded him of Lily. It was the sort of look his wife would employ during their discussions on magic as she listened to him, only to make a remark that completely obliterated all his points and sent him scrambling for all his old beliefs. To find this expression on a young girl only in her seventh cycle was unnerving, to say the least. "My apologies, but you must work to improve your penmanship. It is crucial if you want to be understood when you write."

"But who am I going to write to? Mommy can't read and Daddy is always traveling."

"Well, er, the future is quite interesting in that aspect. For instance, you could make lots of friends in other countries, like Lily, and writing would be your only communication with them. And it's especially important for Lily because part of her job as an herbalist is talking to her friends and having them send ingredients for her medicines."

For a long moment, Rachel stared at him, absolutely no comprehension to be found on her face. Canas was beginning to think that he should have used less complicated words (though a good vocabulary starts during one's youth, he believed) when suddenly she smiled and began to nod, long locks of dark purple hair fluttering at the action. "I get it. So if I want to be a herbalist, I have to write better."

"Ah...yes, but--"

" 'Cause, I want to be a good herbalist. Auntie Lily makes me feel better when I'm sick, so maybe I can do that too?"

"And if I get injured while hunting, you can heal me," Sami pointed out. Rachel spun around to face her.

"Yeah!"

_Children are so cute_, Canas thought, his heart considerably lightened with the aversion of a potential crisis. After all, who wanted to argue with a child? At least, he thought the discussion was over until he noticed Rachel was aiming dark eyes full of some indecipherable emotion directly at him. "Y-yes, Rachel?"

"But it's still boring. Make it unboring, please."

" 'Not boring'," he corrected. Her request was not an unreasonable one from his point of view, and yet...how was he supposed to make learning fun for a young child? Certainly, his mother had never cared about the amount of fun there was, if any, in any of her lessons. This had probably skewed what his idea of 'fun' was, and so he considered going over to Lily's workroom and getting her opinion. However, there was no need to bother her when he could simply inquire of the source in question, correct?

He smiled, pleased at the solution. "So then, what do you consider to be fun?"

Rachel stared at him, blinked a couple times, then turned to Sami. After a few moments of loud whispering, both girls turned to him with twin hopeful expressions on their faces. "Can...can we write in the snow?"

Only in Ilia could such a request be made in the middle of summer. And, to think of it, it was not an unreasonable request. The more Canas thought about it, the more he liked it. After all, snow was a renewable resource, unlike ink and paper. "Alright," he agreed. The girls let out a shriek of laughter, which surprised him; who would have ever thought such small children would be so loud?

"What's going on out here?" he could hear Lily call out, and he turned just as she emerged from the hallway. There was a smile on her face as she adjusted her hold on their son, who appeared to be mostly supported through the use of a sling-type invention in order to allow her more freedom as she worked on her curatives. He had to wonder who gave it to her, or taught her the idea of it. He was about to tell her about the new plans when Rachel bounded over to her.

"Auntie, we're going to write letters in the snow! Master Canas is so nice." The young girl turned to him, a thoughtful look on her face. "If Auntie Lily is an auntie, then you're 'Uncle Canas'. That's true, right?"

"Certainly so," Canas agreed, flattered by the idea.

Lily giggled before bending down and stroking Rachel's hair. "Have fun, but remember to bundle up. It's no fun to be sick, after all." She glanced up and towards Sami, who was already putting on her cloak. "Good girl, Sami."

Watching his wife interact with the two girls, Canas felt a sense of pride. When Lily had been pregnant, they had conversed at length over parenthood. She had confessed a number of fears about her own worth as a parent, fears that he shared but to a much smaller extent. To him, it was another experience in life, admittedly a new one, but as with all experiences, he understood that meant allowing for both successes and failures--the former more than the latter, hopefully. Of course he was not as passive as his beliefs made him sound, he realized that parenting was an active role, but Lily put her whole heart into everything she did, no matter its size of importance. That was something he had always admired about her.

_There is nothing for her to fear_, he knew.

"Canas, you have to dress warmly too," he heard her say, and he adjusted his monocle and pretended that he had not let his attention slip away, even for a moment. "Even if you catch a cold, I'm not going to let you move to the other room so you can sleep in peace. I won't let you escape so easily." He chuckled, sensing that she was teasing, and stood up. The girls were already out the door, which was partially open. Taking his cloak from the door hook, he was surprised to hear her say, "I'm jealous. You get to play outside."

It did not _sound_ like a joke.

He turned to face her, concerned. "Did you wish to go instead? I only needed Rachel to practice her penmanship, which should be easy enough. I'll stay and watch him." Now that he thought about it, he could not remember a time since the birth when Lily had left the house for longer than necessary, not even for her communions with the spirits. 

"Hm?" Shifting her hold on their son again, she ran a hand through her hair. "It was a joke. Don't worry about me. You're their teacher, so go."

"...As you like," he said. With her back turned to him, she waved, already heading back towards her workroom.

_A bit strange, but...Lily would tell me if something was wrong. Perhaps she's a bit tired?_ Filing the observance away in his mind for another time, Canas left, closing the door behind him with a soft click.

-0-

Lily, 

The vote for execution passed. The rest of the Lamia Six were executed today.

Jorah

-to be continued-

First of all, I'd like to apologize for the lateness of this chapter, and to thank you for your patience (though it's not as if you had a choice). A family situation occurred which all but killed my inspiration and desire to actually write, but everything is fine now. I especially want to thank those of you who sent their prayers and the like; I truly appreciated it. 

Second of all, there's been a correction made to ch. 25 for a mistake that was entirely my fault due to negligence: the name is Camilla, not Camille. Why I named two characters with two completely different 'voices' so similarly is beyond me. I've a long way to go from perfection, obviously. (heh)

Now, for some upcoming news. I intend to do NaNoWriMo this year, or National Novel Writing Month for those of you unfamiliar with it. Basically, it's all about writing a 50K novel in the space of a very busy month. As you can imagine, I'm a little nervous about doing that, as well as updating this story on time, not to talk of all the RL stuff! Don't worry, this is my first priority as far as writing goes, as I've already been writing this for a year and we're so close to the end now.

And that's it. I'm so glad to be back, and writing normal-sized chapters to boot!


	27. Separate

Shadows Under the Oak Tree

(C) Intelligent Systems and Nintendo

-0-

27. Separate  
(_Death in the family. A promise._)

_The vote for execution passed. The rest of the Lamia Six were executed today._

_I should go over and talk to Grandma_, she had said, and her husband had agreed. But then again, she suspected he'd agree to nearly anything she said.

_The vote for execution passed. The rest of the Lamia Six were executed today._

_I should go over and talk to Grandma_, she had said, and that was why she wore a cloak and each step she made crunched into the snow. She should've communed with the spirits, as the latest snowfall had been a surprise, but taking care of the baby took more out of her than she liked to admit.

_The vote for execution passed. The rest of the Lamia Six were executed today._

_I should go over and talk to Grandma_, she had said, but in her mind she had added _but I don't think it's right. I was the one who stood up and told her that her own cousin should die. I believed that._

_I still believe it.  
_  
Lily stopped walking and closed her eyes, willing herself to simply breathe. She could feel the heat of the sun on her face like a phantom caress, not enough to melt the snow. It was not enough to melt away the jagged ball of ice inside of her, all anxiety and nervousness and this is a bad idea. Oh, if only her magic could be used to set her soul aflame so she could just go up to Grandma Yunice and tell her...and tell her...what? 

_I'm sorry for your loss, but she deserved it._

Opening her eyes, Lily looked around. Not a person was out, not even any of the woodsmen. She didn't know how many people knew about the executions in Edessa; she'd only received Jorah's letter yesterday, and she assumed he had sent a copy to Grandma Yunice. Maybe Rosliand knew. Soon, she supposed, Mynthia would tell Rian, who would tell Tinae, who would tell Mina, and the chain would continue until everyone would be talking in hushed whispers about the tragedy of last autumn and if the Union had been right in their sentence. She didn't know much about how the Union saw things, but she could only imagine how her friends and neighbors would take to this latest news. 

She remembered Grandma Yunice's words at that fateful meeting, the ones that had provoked her: _There is no need to bring up the old agonies of the past. This is the gift the dead have given us, and for the sake of our village, I will not squander it. We will mind ourselves, and only ourselves._ Those words had angered her, and she had raged and cried and torn apart her dignity just to make a single point.

Was it worth it? 

_I should be stronger about this. I should hold to my past decisions._

Was it weak to hurt for the sake of others? To be conflicted after the fact? 

_Grandma, I'm sorry I had to hurt you to stay true to myself._

Lily glanced back, towards her house, then strode forward with all the resolution she could muster. _Nothing I say will make things better, she knew, but I want to be there for her._ This thought calmed her until she approached Grandma Yunice's house, and then all the bravery she could muster suddenly fled, leaving her to knock on the door with nothing but good intentions and a dry mouth.

Mynthia answered the door, and Lily could tell by the way the girl's eyes flickered and her lips pursed together that the news of the execution had reached them as well. That much she had expected. "I'm sorry to bother you," Lily began, her tone subdued, "but may I please speak to Grandmother?" 

"...Please wait," Mynthia said, just before doing the rudest thing Lily had ever witnessed from a fellow villager: she closed the door. It was Ilian custom to let neighbors and travelers in their houses and let them warm themselves with the help of the hearth and conversation. To let someone wait outside during a normal day was the equivalent of saying, "I don't trust you. You're not worth sharing the warmth of my home to," and it told Lily just how foolish she was for coming here. The last people who had been treated this way had been Tinae's parents, and Lily knew if she told Tinae about this her friend would immediately tell Rian to break off his engagement to Mynthia. It was _that_ offensive, and Lily felt embarrassed about being thought of so badly by the normally-sweet girl.

After wrapping her cloak around her more tightly as a chilly wind blew past, Grandma Yunice came to the door. "Lily," the elderly woman said with a polite nod, "what can I do for you?" 

Lily knew right then and there that the best course of action would be to apologize for disturbing her and walk away. It was more than intuition; Lily knew the village like she knew herself. She knew that, if she ever stood at her door and asked someone what they wanted instead of inviting them in to share a cup of tea and friendly chatter, she would be, in Tinae and Kelial's words, 'a bigger bitch than the kind that howled at the moon.' Common sense told her to leave.

"...I wonder if there's something I can do for you," she said instead, because this was not a matter of common sense, but instead a matter of family.

"Jorah sent you a letter as well, then."

"Yes."

"You were the one who told him to go to Edessa in the first place."

"I didn't tell him to do anything!" Lily exclaimed, genuinely surprised. The accusation struck her as insulting; she did disagree and she did challenge Grandma Yunice's ruling, but she would never betray _family_.

Grandma Yunice's brow creased, her eyes sorrowful. "Then, your words convinced him to do so." 

Unsettled by the idea that her words had power outside of casting spells, Lily looked down. "Would you have rather I had said nothing at all?"

"Cione was my only blood family. She made a wrong decision, and she hurt others because of it. But do you know why she did it?" The touch of Grandma Yunice's hand was soft on Lily's cheek, but Lily felt as compelled to look at her grandmother's face as she would have if it had been a wrenching grasp instead of a caress. "Both of her daughters died as pegasus knight trainees, not even as full knights. Union quotas must be filled, I know this, and I grieved with her. They died in foreign lands, one during battle, the other..." She choked, and Lily felt heat behind her own eyes as she watched Grandma Yunice begin to tear up. "She was only twelve...her own mercenary group...Cione had every right to hate the Union. She had every right..."

"But did she have the right to hurt us? She wanted us to die...she wanted us dead..." Lily pleaded, clinging to her reason as tears slid down her cheeks.

Grandma Yunice shook her head. "If you hadn't angered her, she wouldn't have done anything. She had wanted to talk to you because of how proud I was of you. She had wanted you to understand her..."

It started in her mind as shock and disgust, and when it reached her limbs Lily recoiled away from the one person she had ever called 'grandmother'. "You...you are saying, because I spoke up, told the truth...it's all my fault?" Lily asked, staring at the woman before her as if she had just realized she had two heads or something equally strange. It was one thing to hear that from Maron, who she rarely talked to, and another thing altogether to hear it from her _grandmother_.

"As a pegasus knight, I learned that the lords I served did not care for my opinions or beliefs. They only wanted me to do my job, or die trying. That was the only thing that mattered."

_But that's in other countries. What does that have to do with Ilia?_

"I can't do that here," Lily protested. "That isn't right...my parents taught me to do the right thing. I was taught to stand up for what was right!" 

"Yes," Grandma Yunice said. "That's why you are better off here. You would have made a poor pegasus knight."

It was as though she had been slapped. No--Lily would've preferred the slap. A rush of heat swept through her body, but she wasn't angry, exactly. She wasn't sure what she feeling. Sick, more like. Sick and devastated. This was a woman she had respected, had loved like family, telling her that her morals were worthless. That she was the sole reason for the deaths of last autumn. That she would've never succeeded in her dream.

That honor, morals, dignity...they all meant nothing in Ilia.

_You're only saying this because you're hurting, right? You don't really mean it. You can't._

There was fresh pain in Yunice's eyes, and for Lily, that was enough. She turned around. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have come here when you're still hurting," she said, and began to walk away. 

"Lily." She stopped, but did not feel strong enough to turn around. "I should not be lashing out at you. Please, come inside. Let us talk there."

Pity tugged at her. It would be the right thing to do to turn around and agree, to accompany the woman whom she had considered as close as blood, to do as she was told. That was her life right there. She did things because she was expected to do them. That was why she had gotten as far as turning around before the thought, a rebellious little thing that she was much too old to even consider, popped into her mind.

_Why?_

It was a thought that made her blink in surprise. She liked that thought. It was simple, direct, and crucial to who she was. It was a thought that made her walk to Yunice and hug her as tightly as possible, before whispering in the elderly woman's ear, "I'm sorry. I'd just be in the way. Just rest. That would be better for you," and let go. 

What a strange thing it was, to simply let go.

-0-

The tome that Canas had been reading since yesterday was entitled The Varociel Chronicles. It was a semi-fictionalized account about a band of adventurers who were seeking out some of the most famous weapons in Elibean history other than the Seven Legends' sacred weapons. He did not often read fiction, more because it was a rarity for the masters of the printing presses to print rather than his personal feelings on the subject. After all, reading a variety of different subjects was be nothing if not conducive to the mind. He suspected that, as long as the culture of minstrels continued to exist in the other countries, there would continue to be a drought on printed fiction. Listening to someone sing about the conquests of Sir Hugh, the Diamond Knight and legendary Ilian Mercenary Knight commander, was probably more appealing to most than reading about him.

_At least no one has ever been able to sing about the setup required for an archaeological dig_, Canas thought as he turned the page, _that, I suspect, would not go quite well at all._

While he read, his son slept in his arms and his wife talked in low tones with Mina, who--he did not mean to eavesdrop, but the women were only across the table--had left her daughters with Tinae to talk to Lily about the news she had heard. Canas did not even need to actively listen to know what that news was, because it seemed that, in the last few days, half the village had been by to discuss the execution of the Lamia Six--five, to be accurate--and what this said about the Union and Ilia's future. However, he had seen in the last few days that Lily was adept at moving the conversation to more mundane subjects. 

He turned the page in what he considered to be a deft manner with his thumb, but he had scarcely continued to read when he heard Mina say, "I should go. Thank you for listening to me."

"It's really not a problem. We're friends, after all." Glancing up, he watched as Lily led Mina to the door. After Mina left, Lily closed the door and seemed to slump against it, her eyes closed and her brows creased. Concerned, he was about to inquire as to her health when she suddenly opened her eyes and walked back to her seat as if nothing had occurred. It was only after she sat down and poured herself a cup of tea when her eyes happened to meet his.

"...Are you all right?" he had to ask. She smiled, although he thought she still appeared a bit harried.

"I'll live."

He returned her smile. "That's reassuring. There are no problems in the village, are there?"

"I wouldn't say so. Most of us were expecting the execution to pass. The Union does care, after all. But some have problems with the idea of older men and women having to face the spear." To his not-quite-learned-but-always-willing eye, Canas noticed her expression become pensive. "I think that should finally end the issue."

"Truly?" The question slipped out before he had thought to censor himself; her expression was oddly incongruent with her words.

"Hm?" After a sip of tea, she smiled at him. "Am I that easy to read, or do you just know me that well?"

He twitched, taken aback by the sudden question, then immediately checked to see if their son was still asleep. "Oh. I, ah, well...I would hope it's the latter."

"You're so cute," she said with a grin as she stood and and approached him. There was confidence in her step, as well as a sway to her walk that reminded him that, yes, somewhere in her shapeless dress there were hips. In the space of two months, her pregnancy weight had simply melted away in what was both the most impressive and most distressing weight loss he had ever been witness to (not that he had witnessed many)--there was less food being distributed from Edessa this year. But just looking at her face made him forget about such an important issue; her face was as lovely as ever, and her smile was bright and not the least bit strained.

She reached out and picked off something from his shoulder. "What would I do without you?" she continued. "You're my favorite person."

A sudden heat burned along his cheeks, forcing him to look away from the intensity of her smile. _What can I possibly say to something like that?_ he thought, very flattered. "Ah, of course, I feel the same."

This was not a lie. He had the last three years as more-than-sufficient proof. 

With a giggle, she motioned for him to make room on the couch for her, which he promptly followed. "I really do mean it," she said once she had sat down, and although she was smiling her eyes did not quite reflect it, he observed. "Ever since I talked to...well, every since that day, I've been out of sorts. And everyone's been wanting to talk about the execution when it's the last thing I want to think about, but just talking to you--" Their son yawned quite loudly at this point, prompting her to reach out and run her fingers over his fuzz-like hair. "--and you too," she added, to which they both laughed, "never fails to cheer me up. How do you stay so happy, Canas?"

"...I suppose it helps that I am not as involved with the current circumstances as you are," he said, sobered by the thought. Lily's apparent break with Lady Yunice reminded him of Rycen's own, which saddened him.

_A family is breaking apart...even I cannot say I have experienced such a thing, not in that same way._

"I suppose, to think of it, family brings both the greatest happiness and the worst pain." 

He studied her face, glass shards of memories jabbing at him. Things he had never wanted to think about again, how it had felt to watch his brothers succumb to elder magic...it had hurt him, too. That was why he had jumped at the chance to leave. "I can only hope that I would never hurt either of you," he said, a promise already forming in his mind.

"I will not hurt you, either of you," she stated. He felt as if they shared an understanding between them, a little family in the midst of a little village that was a family all its own. "And I'll remember to update that promise if we have any more children," she added.

His curiosity nagged at him; he had to ask. "Lily, you would like another child?" This question was met with a look of horror darkening her features.

"Not right now!"

Flinching from her shout, it took him a few moments to compose himself before what he emitted was actual intelligible words. "I-I didn't say that!"

There was a wrinkle on her forehead that caught his attention before she looked down and away from him. "Maybe in a few years. I'll need that much time to collect enough alcohol to make me forget that horrible experience..."

"Was it really so horrible?" he inquired. Lily slowly raised her head to stare at him.

Somewhere in Elibean history, he would later think, those words had probably been someone's last words. They certainly were very nearly his.

-0-

"Just have him drink this for a week and he'll recover his voice. Once in the morning, once at night." Lily paused, then pretended to think about what she had just said. "Well, if you want to listen to him, anyway." 

Gouterry laughed as she handed him the pouch of herbal tea, relief clear on his face. Lily remembered, years and years ago, the sight of his face as his wife wasted away from pneumonia, and she clenched her jaw as she smiled back at him.

_It doesn't have to be that way. The past should not impede on the present._

"Thank you, Lady Lily." 

"Your son recovering is thanks enough," she said, and with a smile and a wave she left the woodsman's house. _That's the last of the deliveries_, she thought as she adjusted the strap of the satchel she used to hold her medicinal items. _Since the baby fed just before I left, I should still have some time before I lock myself in for the rest of the day._ The thought discouraged her; she couldn't wait until after the naming day, when the baby had proved his ability to survive and she could carry him around instead of centering her schedule on him and his unpredictable feeding times. Plus, Canas was easily unnerved by the child's cries, so she had to rescue him as well.

Lily rolled her eyes at the thought. _But he can leave any time he wants to, whether it's to take a walk or to visit Rosliand for guardian training_--a malicious grin briefly appeared on her face at this thought--_or anything else. I don't know if there's any pride in being a man of Ilia, but it sure looks easier._

On a whim, she decided to visit her parents' grave and commune with the spirits. Ever since she had discovered she was pregnant, she had stopped using magic out of concern of the child inside of her, and after the birth she had been far too busy trying to adjust to motherhood. There was a certain fear that she had, knowing that she had been pregnant during the tragedy of last autumn, when she had expended all her mana in order to ensure the bandit leader's death. It was a fear that she had tapped into her own baby's burgeoning magic, but only time would tell how true that was; he was an extraordinarily healthy child otherwise, and in the end it didn't matter to her if he was magicless. He was her son, regardless. 

But magic could be so beautiful. She didn't want to think she had denied him that gift of his parents' bloodlines.

As she entered the corridor of oaks, she noticed a man walk down the mountain path. His hair color was dark blue, like the color used in some of her pictures of the night sky, but it was the fact that he wore Sacean-patterned clothing that allowed Lily to recognize him as Rian, who hadn't traveled to Sacae in the last two years. She waved as he neared, which he responded to, but then she noticed the bow he held with his other hand and frowned in confusion. _He didn't go hunting_, she thought, _because he's not carrying anything with him. And there's only wolves near the mountain...and he's not even wearing his quiver._

By the time she'd passed through the oak grove, he was in shouting range. "What're you doing?" she called, curious. Tinae would be more than annoyed if he was still forgetting his quiver at nearly twenty cycles past. 

"Shooting problems!" he shouted back, and Lily understood. That was something he'd picked up from his mother, who was not innately violent--no matter what Kelial thought--but did put a lot of herself in her archery. Whenever Tinae was feeling down, she would go up to the mountain and shoot with her problems, letting them fly into the ocean and sink like the dead. Sometimes Lily wished there was a magical equivalent for this other than communing with the spirits, which was soothing but only involved her mind.

Sometimes Canas walked around the house while reading or reciting facts. Maybe she should try that sometime?

She straightened out her mantle--it was a warm day--and mentally counted steps until she stood above her parents' grave. By this time, Rian had reached her. "Oh, something wrong?" she asked, watching his expression close off from the friendly smile of before. "Why don't you sit down with me?" she invited, settling down on the snow.

Rian shrugged. "Whatever you like, Auntie."

"Am I really so old?" she asked, self-conscious. It was a lot easier to ask that when she was eleven and he babbled away like toddlers were wont to do, or when she was eighteen and he was ten and leaving for Sacae every summer with other hunters. At twenty-seven and motherhood, she had a feeling that 'Auntie' was just the tip of the iceberg, so to speak.

_He's even getting married. Spirits, the only time I'll ever feel older is when my son gets old enough to marry._

"Is Auntie Lily feeling old?" he teased, and she sniffed in disdain. 

"Leave me alone."

"First you ask me to sit with you, now you want me to go. Women are really fickle, huh?" It should've sounded like teasing, the kind family friends with an age difference of less than ten cycles should engage in, but Lily knew him too well to not have noticed the strain in his last sentence. _Women troubles_, she thought, except that, as a young man with a mother, sisters, and a fiancé, Rian had to be well-versed in the language of women if he wanted to survive.

She laid back, hands under her head as she stared at the clouds overhead. "Oh, I don't think so," she chided in a light tone. "My problem is that I'm too stubborn. Same as your mother. When we would argue, we'd never forgive each other for weeks at a time. Fickle, obnoxious women don't exist here, only the stupidly stubborn ones."

Rian laughed, a pleasant sound. "I hear your husband does everything you say as soon as you say it."

"He'd better," she responded, grinning. "He's the model of the modern Ilian man: sweet, polite, and makes good tea."

"That's horrible, Auntie!" But he was laughing harder now. "He must be a good man, to put up with you."

She pouted, though privately she agreed with him. After some time, Rian laid down beside her, a companionable silence blanketing them like snow. She could hear the chatter of the spirits, tiny voices that would've lulled her into a well-deserved sleep when Rian said, his voice low, "Mynthia doesn't want to marry me anymore."

There were some things that would never have a 'right' response. At least death wasn't taboo to an Ilian's mindset--it was bound to happen anyway, and living had its unpleasantries. It was things like Elimineanism customs that forced her into speechlessness--any religion that potentially allowed people to bleed to death because on some days blood was unclean to handle shocked and disturbed her, a woman whose life's work it was to make sure people lived no matter what.

_As a pegasus knight, I learned that the lords I served did not care for my opinions or beliefs. They only wanted me to do my job, or die trying. That was the only thing that mattered._

Things like that, too. 

Turning over, she stared at Rian's profile as he rigidly stared at the sky. "I'm sorry to hear that," she said. It was all she could say; common sense told her that going on about how it seemed the two of them were meant to be would only hurt him.

He glanced at her, then back towards the gathering clouds. "She wants to take care of Grandma, since the whole situation is wearing her down." Lily did not need to ask what 'the whole situation' was, only averting her eyes after he said it. "I told her I'd do anything to help. She helped me when Mom was recovering from the attack, but she wouldn't look at me."

Lily stared at the sky and remembered when she wished she could fly. Flying meant going anywhere she pleased. It meant putting her life on hold until after she landed. Flying was better than trying to figure out what was the best thing to say right now. "Rian--"

"I really loved her, you know?" This he said so earnestly that her own chest hurt. "I mean, I still love her, but it felt like she just wanted to say goodbye, forever. It made me think that I should've gone to Sacae this year, just so I wouldn't have to hear that in her words." There was a heavy pause, then, "I stayed here because she wanted to get married on her birth month, just next month."

There was nothing she could say, so Lily said nothing at all.

"Auntie," he started, and she could hear him shift in the snow to face her, "did you love your husband when you married him?"

She kept her eyes to the sky, not liking the question. There was the honest answer, one word and depressing given the moment, and there was the answer with the life lesson packaged inside like the herbs and pictures her friends sent her. "The important thing in marriage is not the type of soil, but rather what grows from it," she said, gathering a handful of snow in her right hand and sifting it between her fingers. "I think the greatest pleasure I've gotten from being married was growing with my husband, sharing life experiences or even just the day-to-day events. I didn't need to love him beforehand to have those experiences."

"You could've just said no."

She arched an eyebrow at this; she was only going to allow him to be difficult once, then she was going to drag him out of any wallowing he was planning on doing. "Rian, give her some time. If handling this is too difficult for you, I can't say that marriage will be any easier. Couples like your parents and mine are rarer than you think."

Rian looked as if he was about to say something, but then he nodded. "I'll think about that."

"Good." Standing up, Lily brushed off the snow. "Let's go to my house. My husband will make us tea and we'll have snacks and talk about Sacae and the tribe you all stay with, the, uh..."

"Lorca. Well, most of the time." He stood, holding out a hand for her to take before they began to walk back to the village. "Sometimes we can't find them, so we head to Bulgar and see if there's any jobs we can do for gold, since we're poor Ilians and all. Once in a while we stay with the Kutolah, but the Lorca are a smaller tribe, so it's a bit more comfortable. Also, the chieftain's wife is of Lycian birth, so we don't seem as weird not having green hair. The last time I was in Sacae, I noticed a pegasus knight trainee at their camp--she looked Nikeah's age--but she flew away when our group arrived. Something about our group being all men, I think the chieftain's daughter said...?"

Lily listened to him ramble on, smiling and nodding to show that she was listening. In truth, she was just happy to hear him talk normally--Sacae did that for him. It made her sad that Mynthia had made the decision she had; as much as Lily knew, she had still never known how close the two had been. It only reminded her that everyone had a capacity for suffering, not just her, and she decided that she would try harder in accomplishing her goal of a green Ilia. Surely then it would be easier on her people.

"Lily?" she heard Rian ask, worry in his tone, and when she looked ahead she could see why.

Jorah had returned. However, that was something to celebrate. No, Lily was more worried about the woman by his side, a pegasus knight by the look of her dress. But not just any pegasus knight; rather, one with bruise-blue hair and menacing black eyes.

"Lily, just the person we were looking for," Jorah said, and it was because they had been childhood playmates that she could detect the anxiety lingering in his dark eyes. "This is Commander Leto, second-in-command of the Pegasus Knight Brigade. She tells me you've met."

"Yes, we have," Lily said, her voice soft. She let go of Rian's hand and turned to him. "I'm sorry."

"Don't worry. Uh, good luck." After a quick, suspicious glance at Leto, he jogged towards his house. Remembering how to wear a blank, polite face, Lily turned back to her friend and the Union envoy who had once told a roomful of worried parents that their daughters were useless as pegasus knights.

Lily's smile hardened at the thought. "Please, come inside. What can I do for you...or rather, what did you come here for?"

"Oh, not much." Leto grinned like she had a mouthful of fangs. "Just to ruin your life, that's all."

-to be continued-

Sorry about the cliffhanger, but the chapter has to end sometime. In other news, NaNoWriMo's going well: 17K done so far!  



	28. Leader

Shadows Under the Oak Tree

(C) Intelligent Systems and Nintendo

-0-

28. Leader  
(_Moral strength. The man who understood._)

"Oh no, not much. Just here to ruin your life, that's all." 

Lily was not intimidated. After all, her 'mother' was Lady Niime. Even if Leto was someone to be feared, Lily didn't like her very much. Rosliand had once told her it was better to be fear one's friends, who were close enough to the heart of a person to rip it out, than an enemy. After all, enemies capitalized on fear.

Besides, she was used to being afraid for others, not herself.

"Is that so?" she responded in a clipped tone that she imagined was very much like Rosliand's before she moved past them to open the door. There was a flicker of something like amusement in the pegasus knight's eyes just before Lily directed her full attention to the door, which made her decide that this 'life-ruining' news probably wasn't all that bad. That made her think that Leto was just a sadist. Since Rosliand could be equally cruel for no good reason, she wasn't exactly bothered by it.

As soon as she had opened the door, Canas stood up, their son in his arms. "Lily, I was wondering where you were. He's a bit fussy, so...ah..." She noticed his sentence trailing off as his eyes focused past her; faint surprise appeared on his face before his natural friendly disposition shone through and he smiled at everyone. For her part, she walked up to him not only to get their son, but also so that Jorah and Leto could get inside that much faster--it was a regular chilly summer day.

"They needed to see me for something important, but I need to feed the baby first," she said, the second part of the sentence directed at their new guests. Reaching out her arms, Lily took the child and cradled him to her, smiling when he smiled up at her, his eyes newly purple and focused on her face. "Hi there, did you miss Mama?" she asked, placing a kiss on his forehead.

"How cute," she heard Jorah say, and she turned around just as her friend closed the door behind him. "Though, he doesn't look like you," he added, waving one large gloved hand at her baby. In response, her son laughed and stretched out his little hands.

For her part, Commander Leto had her full attention on the baby, with what seemed to Lily as a tentative smile on her face. "It's smiling at me," the pegasus knight whispered with what seemed like awe, and Lily decided that Leto couldn't be that bad after all.

"He's actually a boy. He's a wind affinity, born just about two months ago," Lily informed Leto as she tried to adjust her hold on her squirmy son. "You're actually lucky to see him while he's awake. He sleeps a lot, don't you?" she cooed the last part to her happily babbling baby.

With a small, strange smile on her face, Leto reached out a slender finger towards the child, who stared at it for a moment before grabbing it with one tiny hand. "Such good reflexes," Leto murmured, before trying to extricate her finger from his grasp. "And a good grip, too."

After gently removing his fingers from Leto's finger, and then rocking him before he started to cry, Lily gestured to the couches. "Please, have a seat. Canas, can you get them some tea?" Her husband was removing his books and papers from the table, so she took what he held with her free hand, balancing their son in the crook of her other arm, and smiled at him before he could protest. "Please?"

Canas looked like he was deciding between doing as he was told, or insisting she couldn't carry their son and the books. "As you like," he finally said, returning her smile.

Shaking her head slightly, she walked to their bedroom and dumped his books on his nightstand before walking around the bed to her side. Sitting down, she worked her fingers down her collar, opening all the buttons down to below her chest before she began to feed the child. Humming softly, she let the fingers of her right hand smooth down her son's fine hair, her thoughts elsewhere.

_How strange_, she mused, _I feel more comfortable with letting Leto play with the baby than when Lady Niime holds him. I guess Leto isn't too bad, but I don't know...I'm still a little worried._

Just as her son finally detached his mouth from her, she heard footsteps as someone entered the room. "Canas?" she questioned, not bothering to turn around as she made sure the baby didn't swallow too much air while he had fed. 

"Yes," he answered, and she listened to his footsteps as he walked over to his night stand, ostensibly to pick up his book. "Rosliand just arrived and, ah, indicated to me that she wished to speak to Dame Leto and Sir Jorah alone."

Lily sighed. Rosliand never simply 'indicated' things. "You do realize this is our house," she said, her tone dry. "Unless you were feeling uncomfortable around our guests?"

He chuckled. "Not, not particularly. Sir Jorah was interested in discussing little Rachel's studies."

"But Leto didn't want to hear it?"

"Hm? No, she didn't seem bothered. It was when Rosliand entered when the atmosphere became...oppressive." Now she could hear his footsteps as he approached her. "I must admit that I am puzzled by the sudden attention."

Their son burped, and Lily handed him off to her husband while she buttoned her dress. "Well, we haven't done anything wrong. I wouldn't worry about it," she advised him, though she wasn't sure if he was the only person she was talking to when she said that. Warm and decent again, she stood and faced him, unsurprised at the skeptical look he was trying to pass off as concern. Patting him on the arm, she smiled. "Have a little faith in your wife, please. Rosliand's only here because she thinks it's her job to know everything."

"She does seem to know quite a bit," he responded, something like relief seeping into his expression. This made Lily feel better, since he was such a nervous type and she had enough on her hands trying to keep herself from assuming too much.

"Yes, exactly. So you just stay here and read to the baby." She paused. "What are you reading to him?" Magic was good, magic was great, but she didn't think that a tome like Articles and Dissertations on the Practical Application of Magic (5th cen.) was appropriate for a 2-month-old. The baby slept enough as it was.

"The Varociel Chronicles, although I've had to omit certain inappropriate words," he answered, managing to look both proud and sheepish at once. She laughed.

"With aunties and uncles like Tinae and Kelial, he's going to hear those words eventually," and she laughed harder and had to leave the room when he gave her a look of shock and dismay--_it's so hard being a parent!_ she thought in amusement before mentally composing herself for whatever would occur in her sitting room. Rosliand's presence would be good, because she knew that, if Jorah had written anything different to the scout, she would've heard about it. Any surprises that would come up now were sure to get Rosliand's swift reaction.

"...No, it isn't any of your business, Lian. But I will respect your right to be here, since we were once friends." 

"How magnanimous of you."

_Do they know each other?_ Lily wondered, but she didn't have any time to worry about it as she stepped out of the hallway. "Rosliand, what a surprise," she said with a smile.

The scout turned and gave her a bland stare. "How can it be a surprise when Canas just went to tell you I was here?" 

"...Yes, you're right," Lily responded, all the while thinking _great, she's in a bad mood._She glanced at Leto, who was sitting perfectly straight and drinking tea with a clenched jaw, then at Jorah, who looked unnaturally imposing as he sat in full armor in her small sitting room. He caught her eye and gave her a tired smile, which she returned; she had the feeling the two of them would be spending most of the meeting trying to smooth things over. She turned to Rosliand, whose bland expression was a poor cover for the anger glittering in her eyes, and quickly made a decision. "Rosliand, I appreciate your being here, but I can handle this."

"No." Rosliand smiled, thin-lipped, as she looked up at Lily from her seat. "I don't trust them." 

Jorah set down his cup, his expression schooled enough that Lily had a hard time trying to figure out what her childhood friend was thinking. "That's unfair, Rosliand," he said in a measured tone. "We're here because we want the best for everyone."

"I will be clearer." Rosliand pointed diagonally across the table. "I don't trust her."

Leto, her eyes closed, sipped her tea. "The feeling is mutual."

_What a bad situation_, Lily thought. She moved past Rosliand and sat directly across from Leto. After pouring herself a cup of tea and taking a sip to wet her throat (she had a feeling she would be required to yell at least once during the meeting), she focused her attention to the two Union representatives. "Before you ruin my life, why don't you tell me what happened during the trial?" she asked, ignoring the stare that Rosliand was boring into the side of her head.

After a glance from Leto, Jorah coughed. "If the Lamia Six hadn't been so eager to reveal the how and why of their rebellion, they would've never been executed."

"They admitted it?" Lily exclaimed, plopping her cup onto the table. "What kind of people admit to a crime?"

"People who don't believe they've committed a crime," Rosliand stated. When Lily looked at her, she only smiled in an enigmatic manner. The only thing that surprised Lily about it was that the smile was tinged with sadness rather than cruelty.

"Yes, the five that were left had been...proud." Closing his eyes, Jorah pinched the bridge of his nose. "It was difficult to listen to them, even as an observer. I almost lost my temper a few times. They had little sense of shame and believed until the end that they had done the right thing."

Leto, apparently reaching the bottom of the cup, put it down and stared directly into Lily's eyes. It was a strange experience for the latter woman, if only because she had never known anyone with such menacing eyes in an otherwise very attractive face. Black was just an unfortunate eye color, Lily decided. "They were methodical in spreading their control, impressing the tiny villages around Lamia to join in their little rebellion game. All in all, they took over the central forest region, but couldn't seem to find a foothold in the mountain hinterlands." Leto shrugged. "The old woman thought herself clever to come here, because she knew her cousin would agree. What she hadn't expected was resistance from, well, you don't want to know what she thought about you."

"Ah," said an annoyed Lily; she could only imagine what Cione had thought about her. "It's not important. So, they were subverting smaller villages for their cause in order to take over the country from the Union. Then they came up here, I angered Cione, and then we were attacked and seven people died for nothing. Is that it?"

"I would think not." Rosliand shifted beside Lily, but when the younger woman turned to look at her former trainer she saw that Rosliand's eyes were focused on Leto. "I sent a letter, and only the blacksmith I requested was sent here. Next time, just send a letter telling us to solve our own problems."

"We can't put people on trial just because we don't like what they say. That includes unsubstantiated treasonous plots," Leto snapped. "Not only because it's a foolish idea, but at that time we didn't have anyone adequately trained to send out here that we didn't already need elsewhere."

Rosliand leaned forward, and Lily immediately felt uncomfortable. She had seen wolves before, ones with hunger lurking in their eyes, and that same look was mirrored in Rosliand's dark eyes. "But you, vice-commander of the entire Pegasus Knight Brigade, came up here last year. And you are here now. You must have a lot of time on your hands." Rosliand smirked. "Is Cassandra holding back assignments from you?"

Sitting back with her hands clenched into fists on her lap, Leto tilted her head just so as she stared down Rosliand. It gave Lily the impression that the woman did not handle being questioned very well; imperiousness radiated from the pegasus knight. "Cassie knows that I am an invaluable asset to the Union. My job requires flexibility. After all, I'm not just a murderer." After another moment of staring, Leto looked away as if she was completely dismissing Rosliand, and Lily frowned in response. "Besides, a lot of us have been less busy than usual. Bern is closing itself off, and we're in danger of saturating the Etrurian market with our wings and the trainees. That was why we could even hold the trial in the summer in the first place."

The admission shocked Lily. _The Union isn't doing well? But how are we going to get through the winter? That must be why the supplement rations have been smaller, but Yunice never told us anything..._ She tugged on a lock of her hair as her gaze fell upon the others in the room. Rosliand was impassive as ever, but both Jorah and Leto had a mixture of emotions on their faces. They wore similar masks of calm, but she could see the hurt, the guilt, and the anger in the way their eyes flickered about the room, both intent on avoiding eye contact. It confused Lily for a few moments before she realized the message behind it.

_They think they've failed us._

She knew how that felt. She knew it all too well. 

"We...that is to say, General Cassandra was reluctant to execute them. She believed that their deaths could be used to make the Lamia Six martyrs, which could be used by others who believed in their cause as a point to rally to." Jorah was looking above Lily's head as he said this. "That being said, the vote for execution was unanimous as they did confess, but what could happen afterwards has made us all reconsider how the Union handles village policy."

Unlike Jorah, Leto looked directly at Lily. "Per our general's orders, the Union will be working more closely with all the villages. We'd like to have a Union liaison in every village by the end of two years. So we're disbanding a number of units, which also cuts down costs in armor and weaponry, and placing their members in our initial run of this system. Of course, when possible, we'd like to put our members in their home village."

_She can't mean..._ Lily stared at Jorah. "You're coming back here? For good?"

He smiled, scratching at the back of his head. "I'm still a reserve member, and because I am a commander I stand a good chance of being called first in any emergencies. For now, though, I'm back." 

"Wonderful," Rosliand stated in the driest tone possible. Lily frowned at her. "What does this have to do with Lily?"

"That has nothing to do with you, so please leave," Leto said as she poured herself a new cup of tea. Trepidation grew inside Lily again as she saw Rosliand raise an eyebrow.

"I've been the Union liaison here for the last ten years."

"You mean, you're a retired member of the Union with contacts. You're not one of us anymore."

"Commander Leto, you're out of line," Jorah stated with a frown, but Leto only held up a hand at him, her eyes focused only on Rosliand.

"Commander Jorah, the line is where I place it."

Rosliand narrowed her eyes. Instinctively, Lily put a hand on her friend's shoulder, but the other woman was too focused on Leto to notice or care. "I left Edessa because Cassandra requested it, but I kept my allegiance to the Union." She shrugged off Lily's hand. "The past is over, Leto. I've atoned for my sins."

"As long as there are those of us who witnessed your dishonor, you'll never get rid of it." Leto snapped, pushing back her long hair in vicious strokes. "You didn't just hurt us, you almost ruined everything we worked for!"

The flicker of apprehension that crossed Rosliand's face was enough for Lily, who had only seen her reveal that degree of vulnerability once in their their long friendship. "I'd like her to stay, if you don't mind. What do you have to tell me?"

There was a real, pulsing anger on Leto's face, but then she seemed to recover herself and her expression became neutral. "Hm. I'll say it plainly then. We want you to become a leader of Corinth."

Lily forgot how to breathe.

_I can't believe she said that_, she thought as her eyes darted from Leto to Jorah, from Jorah to Rosliand._ I can't believe he looks like he agrees. I can't believe she looks so thoughtful. I-I...me? But I'm the guardian...I can't be expected to...what about Yunice...but my son..._

Many, many reasons flashed through her mind why she should never become a leader. She was too young. She already had enough jobs. There was already a leader in the village. She wanted to devote more time to her child. Her personality was much too rough for something like that. Despite the fact that her honorable ancestor had founded the village--sort of--her family had never bothered with matters of that nature. 

Leto was right. This was ruining her day, especially because...

"Why me?"

She was actually considering it.

The slight smile on Leto's face was not unkind, not mocking in any way. She only smiled and said, "Because you're the one who stood up. That kind of moral character is something we like to see and reward."

_As a pegasus knight, I learned that the lords I served did not care for my opinions or beliefs. They only wanted me to do my job, or die trying. That was the only thing that mattered._

As her hands plucked at her lap and wrinkled her dress, Lily remembered what Yunice had said and she suddenly felt better. The Union rewards moral character. She liked that. Leto was many, many things, but she didn't seem to be a liar. 

Yunice. Was she truly planning on taking a job away from the woman she had once called 'grandma'? "What about Yunice?" she asked, she had to ask. It wouldn't be right otherwise.

"Grandma?" Jorah said, a question plain on his face: _what happened?_ Lily only nodded; she would tell him later what had happened since his last letter. "It's our intention that she stays as leader, and you'll work alongside her as co-leader. After everything that's happened, it's the Union's position that she greatly misused her position."

"She didn't do anything," Lily said, unsure if she was defending Yunice or condemning the elderly woman's lack of action. Leto nodded. 

"Not doing anything is the worst thing a leader can do sometimes."

It sounded like a good idea, which meant she needed to think about things more thoroughly. There was no way she could be a herbalist, a guardian _and_ a leader. Even if she wanted to, she wasn't stupid enough to think she could survive doing all that for long. Although she had liked protecting her village, her friends with her magic, she had never liked to kill. But it was also her family duty to protect the village.

Of course, her family was still guarding the village while she recovered from the pregnancy.

Everyone was looking at her expectantly, even Rosliand. It made her feel like this was the most important decision of her life and she did not like the pressure. Not now, when her life felt muddled enough as it was, and not ever. Yet...

People were depending on her to do the right thing.

"I need to talk to my husband about this. I'll give you my answer tomorrow."

-0-

"I think you should definitely accept it," Canas said, cautiously elated on Lily's behalf. The fact that she was sitting at the edge of their bed and attacking her hair with her brush made it quite prudent to be cautious. Their son was sleeping in his arms, so he attempted to modulate his voice just so as he continued with, "After all, Dame Leto was correct. A leader should have moral strength, and that is something you have never lacked in." 

She paused, then turned around. Her hair hung over one shoulder, and her expression was unreadable. "I'm not the paragon of morality," she replied. Then a smirk appeared. "I've had bad thoughts too, you know," she said, her voice lower...more sultry?

"Ah...that isn't quite what I meant." He hid his heated face by looking down at their child, who continued to sleep peacefully. Over two years of marriage and he still could not help but become unnerved at the ease in which she wielded her sensuality. To her credit, though, she was rarely in the mindset to simply overwhelm him--she was very considerate.

Even as she laughed quietly and turned back to continue with her hair, he continued to consider her as he watched his son sleep. Although Lily was very duty-bound and fond--no, she loved the village, from his observances he could tell she was excited about being asked to become the co-leader of Corinth. However, she seemed to resist the idea of actually accepting the duty. He thought it had something to do with her duty as guardian; in fact, to think of it, that was probably the main factor.

_Of course, she was intending to return to her duty once she feels up to it and our son is a bit more grown up. I think it's fine, but..._

The added pressure on the bed caused him to look up as she sat beside him, a well-formed braid hanging over one shoulder. That was good, he knew; her dexterity with her left hand was approaching the levels before that awful day. Soon she would be ready to defend the village against bandits and he would go back to studying theory and tending to their child. His life would be idyllic once more without having to respond to Rosliand's hasty warnings and having to stumble out into the snow. He would not have to fight any longer, because his wife would do it instead. 

He still remembered that day, the weight of her body as she twitched from magic depletion, her face twisted into a pained frown even though most of her eyebrows had been burned away.

"What's wrong?" she whispered, and he started when he realized that his vision was filled with her concerned expression. That was the way she was, he knew, always worried about others even as she threw herself into the fray time and time again. And he would always watch her go and wait for her return, because that was just what they did.

Had he always been so bothered by this? He had always just watched her go. If she thought it had to be done, he would happily support her. That was fine, of course, because he found her to be so impressive that how could he not support her?

He wondered how much more she could accomplish if she were a leader rather than a follower.

"I truly believe you should accept Dame Leto's offer," he told her as he handed her their son, "not only because of your moral courage, but because you, beyond anyone else, have an aptitude for it."

Their son, whom he had noticed did not like being moved too much while asleep, began to fuss. Lily spared him a single glance that he could not interpret before tending to the baby, rocking the child until he calmed. Canas thought it amazing that she had taken to motherhood despite all her worries, and he found that simply watching mother and son filled him with peace.

Surely his own mother must have felt the same. It was too bad he was the youngest; he could no longer recall a memory of maternal affection separate from studying.

Once their son was adequately soothed, Lily looked at him again with that same odd expression. It reminded him of some of the times he would leave to defend the village and she would tell him to be careful, but her expression had been complicated and he had never had the time to decipher it. "Canas," she started, and something about her tone reminded him of his mother, "please. I have enough on my hands with our son, and making medicines, and soon I'll be ready to protect the village again. I can't possibly add another job to all that."

"Then, allow me to continue as the guardian of Corinth."

He did not think of the words until after they had flown from his mouth like the birds in the apple trees of Lycia would whenever he had reached for some fruit. The experience of being startled by a flock of birds was similar to the experience of _did I just say that?_ Judging by Lily's expression, he certainly had. "Excuse me?" she asked as she exhaled, breathy shock complementing the disbelief in her eyes.

"Ah, forgive me," he said, because he knew of nothing else he could say as an appropriate beginning. "But I can do it. I have found that, as I use it more and more, I have gained an understanding of elder magic. It certainly is 'dark' magic, I see that now, and my degree of control has improved. Fighting is...a bit worrisome, I'll admit, but I...well, I suppose I feel a sense of pride in knowing that my skills allow me to protect."

_Is that what Lily felt when she fights?_ he wondered as he stared into her eyes. _Pride?_

She shook her head, that inexplicable expression having taken control of her features. "I...I can't. Canas, please...I won't allow it. It isn't worth it." 

"Pardon me, but...what isn't worth it?"

"I won't risk you."

It made him wonder, it truly did, why she felt that his life was worth that much. He did not believe he did anything to warrant such devotion. All along, was she protecting him? "Lily, I...ah, I cannot say that I am worth as much as you believe..."

Annoyance fluttered along her face. "It's not just you. Anyone, everyone...I won't risk anyone else's life before my own. That's what I swore." She turned away.

_I'll go first. You can do anything you want with me, just don't hurt him!_

"Oh," he murmured. He was unsure if he felt better, knowing that her willingness to sacrifice herself was not because it was him, but because she naturally would lay down her life for anyone. Perhaps; he had felt so incredibly guilty at the mere idea of it, and then she had done _that_...

It was because of her intense desire to help others at any cost that she would make an excellent leader in her own right. He knew that as well as he knew the three cardinal rules to cast magic.

"I like this village." Smiling at her as she looked up at him, he entwined his hands and rested them on his lap. "To me, this is home. Because of you, this is my home. However, I can't say I've done anything to earn the privilege of staying here."

"So, your teaching is nothing?" she asked, surprised. He chuckled.

"It is a start, just as our own research in rejuvenating Ilia is a start. Meanwhile, I would like to do more, so I--" Her bandaged fingers were scratchy against his lips, but even if they were not there he thought the look on her face would have been enough to silence him.

"Don't," she said, and he nearly obeyed. "I can't. Not to you. I won't burden you with that."

In an act of courage, he reached up with one hand and held the one she placed to interrupt him. "Is it a burden?" he asked.

"Oh, yes. Believe me, it's such a burden." That was sadness and something...resignation? in her expression now.

"But you do it anyway."

"I made a promise. I swore I would."

He was beginning to feel a tiny amount of frustration, though he would never admit it. One moment she would blow down upon him with the force of her gale-like will, the next she was a soft breeze of something like regret. Yet the message was still the same. In his most recent foray into the literary world, one of the protagonists had been described as having 'a sturdy and unconquerable will, outmatched only by the Talliver Mountains' but reasonably one could chip away at a mountain.

What can still the wind?

"Lily, I...forgive me, but your thinking is flawed," he heard himself say. He was not going to admit that, either. But her expression was mercifully devoid of emotion, and so he forged on. "Because I think you may have sworn it to yourself, which is very admirable, but I cannot believe that anyone else here would willingly agree that this is the way you should live your life. If I remember correctly, even your own mother made you that pegasus knight uniform. She wouldn't let you forget your dreams. And in the aftermath of that day, no one blamed you because everyone knew how hard you had fought."

She stared at him. "I _was_ blamed."

"Er...but you weren't condemned!" Absently, he squeezed her hand, trying to derive some sort of comfort from her. She did not squeeze back. "Everyone wants the best for you, and while I find you are an impressive guardian...is it really the best for you?" 

For a long moment, they stared at each other. Her expression was strange, but this time he could understand bits of it because he remembered how she had looked when she had screamed

_I'll go first. You can do anything you want with me, just don't hurt him!_

and he had stared at her in shock and horror and a crushing sense of sadness. 

Above the fear and the anger, she appeared defeated.

Her hand unwound itself from his and she cupped the side of his face. There was warmth seeping through her palm despite the bandages, and he had to wonder if that was her own body temperature or a memory.

_Look, you're even shivering now._

"Say you can't," she said, sounding tired. "Please." 

He knew he appeared apologetic because she closed her eyes. "My apologies, Lily. Truly. But I--"

"I know." There was a flare of heat before she removed her hand, and since her eyes were still closed he felt he could stare at her with wide eyes. _Her magic...?_ "But I warned you, just remember that. I entrust you with the duty as guardian of Corinth, and tomorrow I'll start on the path to become a leader." She opened her eyes, then frowned at him. "Why are you staring at me like that?" she snapped.

"Ah, forgive me." He dimly heard her mumble something about never forgiving him, which he chose to believe was a joke--she always did have a strange sense of humor--and he smiled. She only sighed and turned over to extinguish her lantern. Placing his monocle on his night stand, he did the same. They laid together in the darkness for an indeterminable period of time before he felt her shift. He assumed this was because she was trying to become more comfortable with their son, but then he felt her breath against the cartilage of his ear. 

"As long as you're happy," she whispered, and turned away from him before he could even think of a reply.

_Yes_, he thought with a smile, _that was my reasoning as well._

-to be continued-

I do apologize, as this chapter was originally scheduled for last Thursday, but there was no way I was going to post on Thanksgiving. Sorry to all the non-Americans who just had a normal day and expected the chapter. Thank you for reading and, yes, I reached 50K for NaNoWriMo. Heh. 

Also, happy birthday to Jeretarius--go ahead and pretend that this chapter is dedicated to you, I won't mind.


	29. The Same New Paths

Shadows Under the Oak Tree

(C) Intelligent Systems and Nintendo

-0-

29. The Same New Paths  
(_The Good Wives Club. Battle Survival 101._)

As far as Lily was concerned, time was a constant. It was predictable in the way it moved forward, therefore she didn't worry about it too much. She was happy to leave it to the great thinkers, philosophers and scholars and her own dear husband, because she had more important things to focus on these days. For the last four months she had worked as the co-leader of her beloved little village, a village that was largely ambivalent to the changes the Union placed upon it. But she was certain that, because time was unable to do anything but move on, everything would work out for the best in the end. 

Her new position allowed her to focus on what was the most important thing to her heart, and she was not going to let it out of her sight without a fight.

"Tinae, you cheater! You bumped the bowl on purpose!"

Tinae made such an outraged squeak that Lily was sorry she'd said anything. "I did not! It just naturally moved like that. How dare you call me a cheater!"

"What? I saw you push it! I can't believe you." Lily shook her head, affecting an exaggerated amount of disgust to annoy her friend. "This is why I hate playing Three Eyes with you." To her son, who was sitting on her lap and unfazed by all the yelling, she said in a very deliberate manner, "When you grow up, you must remember never to become such a poor loser at games like your Auntie Tinae. Nobody will like you if you cheat."

"Tell your son that nobody likes liars either!"

"You two..." Mina sighed as she began to rub her temples in a way that Lily thought seemed even more exaggerated than her own disgust. "The only way this could be worse is if Mister Kelial were here."

"And if we were drinking," Lily reminisced fondly, before cuddling her very cute and very healthy son. "But we're all very happy with tea, right?"

Mina nodded. "Yes."

"No," Tinae said, crossing her arms in indignation. "I came here to escape my family and indulge for once. Do you know how annoying it is to have your son moping around for the last four months?"

At this point, Lily couldn't help herself. "You do know why, right?" she asked in as delicate a tone as possible. For her sensitivity, she received a nonchalant wave of dismissal.

"And I'm very sorry about it. I've been trying to get him married off for years now. But every time I try to get him to talk to me, the only thing he says is that I can't understand his pain, I've been perfectly happy in my marriage for twenty years, blah blah blah." Gathering up the bone dice from the large bowl in the center of the table, Tinae began shaking them in her fist. "He doesn't do it that much, but it's annoying when it happens. He used to tell me everything. It doesn't matter if I don't understand, because I'm his mother. Isn't it enough that I want to listen to him?"

Lily thought about Canas and Lady Niime and how Canas was always very polite towards his mother while Lady Niime always seemed to speak down to him; their relationship was not one she would call close, just amicable. Compared to that, she thought that Tinae should be happy she still had a bond with Rian and was about to say as much when Mina put down her cup and turned to Tinae. "Is it because Grandmother Yunice and Mynthia came to your house for the festival?"

At that, Tinae sighed and lowered her hand. "That was one of the most uncomfortable meals I'd ever had, and I used to go to festival meals with my parents. It's been two weeks and Rian's still distracted."

_It was a bad festival all around_, Lily thought as she handed the baby one of the old toys she had in storage. When she was young, the departed Aberforth had made for her a polished wooden horse, and her son immediately put its head into his mouth. She carefully pried it out and made it move as if it were galloping before his eyes, paying more attention to his laughter than the conversation Mina and Tinae were engaged in on the other side of the table.

She still didn't know what could've redeemed Yunice and Mynthia's visit. Canas had nervously chatted about any subject that came to mind, and the baby had made for some interesting conversation, but in the end it had never felt like a family sharing a meal. Even after four months, Lily could still see the betrayal on Yunice's face when Leto had all but swooped in and declared Lily as a leader of the village by the will of the Union, even though she and Jorah went at lengths to make it all sound benign. 

_I'm not here to replace you, only to assist._

But Leto had made it clear that it was the Union's wishes because the Union found Yunice untrustworthy. Later, Jorah had explained that Yunice had been Leto's trainer when the latter had been a pegasus knight trainee, which explained to Lily just why Leto had looked as if she had been personally betrayed. 

It was like watching Rosliand and Leto interact again. Lily didn't want to know.

"...Look at her. She obviously finds her child more interesting than adult conversation."

"All mothers think their children are more interesting, Tinae."

"That's not true. My children are boring when Rian isn't being depressed and Sami isn't doing her weird drawings on the walls."

Lily smiled at that, not bothering to look up from her son's happy face as the horse 'trotted' by once again. _Amazing how babies never seem to get bored_, she observed. "You mean 'writing', not drawing. Why's she doing it on the walls?"

"She ran out of paper, so I told her she could only carve on the walls." 

"That sounds dangerous," Mina said, her tone that of mild disapproval. Lily glanced up just in time to see Tinae shrug.

"She's been trained in using a dagger to skin a rabbit since she was six. You worry too much, Mina."

"Your daughter was six only two years ago..."

"Yeah, two years of experience already. She's a natural at hunting, you know. She can pick off a field mouse with only one arrow now!"

"That's...disgusting."

"I agree," Lily said, finally letting the child gnaw on the horse like he had originally planned. "Who wants to eat a mouse?"

Tinae held up a finger. "Old man Wedone likes them almost as much as fish. Why do you think Sami got a new cloak?"

"I thought we weren't going to gossip this time," Mina said, her words heavy with disapproval. "Every time we have one of these talks, I always find out something about one of my neighbors that I never wanted to know."

Amused, Lily reached over and touched Mina's hand, which was gripping the handle of a teacup a little too tightly for her liking. "There are no secrets here. I thought you'd have learned that by now?"

There was a redness to Mina's cheeks that Lily didn't remember as being there earlier. "This village is completely different from the castle town of Remi. Even in my home village, it was much less...connected than it is here."

"That makes sense, though," Lily said, "because it's actually green there during spring and summer, right? We're not just close to each other just because this is a small village. Even one person dying, depending on their job, can put a strain on everyone else. That's why the Ilian version of hell is to be alone--we'd welcome fire."

Tinae nodded. "That's why it's a good thing Lily finally quit being the guardian. It's far better that someone else does it."

_I really wish she hadn't said that_, Lily thought, melancholia settling in her mind. Because she didn't want to start a fight, especially not with her son and Mina around, she only sighed. "I don't agree, but it's what Canas wanted, so..." She shrugged, embarrassed when Tinae 'aww'ed loudly at her. "Would you just roll again, please?"

"Come to think of it..." Mina started as Tinae threw the dice into the bowl with a loud cheer, "I saw him with Dame Rosliand by the oaks when I was coming over here. He didn't look like he wanted to be there. What were they doing?" 

Lily knew that it was wrong to smile, but she did anyway because malicious glee was something that just couldn't be hidden away. "Training."

-0-

"Useless. Utterly, completely useless." 

_How odd. The words are rather familiar, but that is not my mother's voice..._

The first thing Canas could not help but notice as he opened his eyes was that his head throbbed, the epicenter of the pain at the center of his forehead. Also, his back was cold, almost with a sort of raw numbness in certain places that suggested he had been lying on the snow for some time. Above him, there were the mottled gray clouds of Ilia at the onset of winter. Since his vision in his right eye was rather blurry, he surmised that his monocle had fallen off. However, his highly-developed instincts of self-preservation were all but shrieking that he must not make any sudden movements. That was fine because it was really rather peaceful, just staring up into the clouds, although he could do without the cold seeping through... 

Suddenly Rosliand's displeased expression eclipsed the sky above him. Frightened, he barely managed to choke down the scream that threatened to erupt; because this was Rosliand, she appeared to have noticed this and her frown deepened. "Your nap is done. Get up."

Canas did as he was told, though his body was beginning to ache terribly. After brushing off the snow from his clothes and using a corner of his cloak to clean his monocle before putting it back in place, he turned to face Rosliand, who was staring at him in such a way that he felt very small and, well, useless. "Ah, forgive me," he said, unable to help himself from falling back into his old habits.

"Why would I forgive a ghost?" She tilted her head, her gaze transfixed on him. "If that had been a real battle, the top of your head would have just been cleaved through, and the brains Lily admires would now be spilling onto the snow." Nausea rolled lazily in the pit of his stomach at the idea--did she have to be so graphic? --but he nodded to acknowledge her point.

"I cannot stress this enough for someone of your height: duck."

Again, he nodded.

"Also, you do realize you were knocked out by a snowball?"

He knew the question was meant to shame him--at this point, it was uncanny how much of his mother Rosliand was channeling, and he was sure the two had never met--but he was certain she had thrown a ball of packed ice at him. Not that he was going to refute the point, because that had potentially deadly consequences. Instead, for the third time, he nodded.

Rosliand stared through him as causally as another might simply glance at an object, and he could tell that she was not liking what she was seeing. "So, not only is your speed and your endurance inadequate, but now we have to make sure you can even take a hit, seeing as you can't dodge one," she stated in a matter-of-fact way that kicked down his self-esteem in the process.

"Ah." Deciding to treat Rosliand-the-trainer in the same way as his mother, he nodded yet again. "Thank you for attempting to train me. It seems that I'm more trouble than I'm worth."

He found it odd when she smiled. "Hm. That sounded like a calculated attempt to appease me."

His eyes widened in shock--_how did she know?_ was a very small, almost throwaway thought in a sea of denial, and he began to wave his hands in vehement denial. "I-I assure you, that isn't what I meant! I-it's, well, er, I'm sure you would prefer to continue to have Lily under your tutelage, instead of myself..."

"You doubt yourself." She approached him and stared up at him; her expression was inscrutable. "Why?" 

"...Well, as you say, I have a lot of faults--"

"And Lily doesn't?"

"Ah...not compared to me, I would think..."

Rosliand studied him for a moment longer before a flat look fell upon her face, much like Etrurian shutters closing off a room from outside light. "Get over yourself. You're mediocre, but you have potential. Once, Lily was much worse than you, but she only worked harder. Rycen couldn't even hold a sword properly when I first began to teach him swordplay. If you spend all your time comparing yourself instead of improving yourself, you're guaranteed to fail."

_She's right. If I'm to be of any use, I must keep practicing all elements of what is needed to become a good guardian. If I do not succeed, it would not just be a matter of only failing myself._ "I understand," he replied. "I must admit that I don't care for fighting, but I intend to try my hardest."

_It is very difficult to remain on this course. The training is tiring, and I am disturbed that I can willingly kill others. But, it is not a bad thing to want to protect others._

"It would bother me more if you enjoyed killing, what with the power you wield," Rosliand said, suddenly looking very tiny inside the large cloak she favored; that her eyes were no longer on him meant everything. "Lily told me to take care of you. I'll make sure you know how to fight and survive." 

"Rosliand," he started, unable to help himself once he heard her comment on the power of elder magic, even wielded by an amateur like himself, "does my use of elder magic worry you?"

"Elder magic?"

"Ah...some would call it 'dark', but I dislike using such a pejorative term."

She shrugged, pursing her lips as the wind began to blow and her bangs flew into her eyes. "A sword is a sword, whether it's called an iron sword or Durandal. Magic is meant to be a weapon."

"Thank you," he said before consciously deciding to speak.

"Why are you thanking me?" Above all else, he thought she sounded amused. "Is your magic hated?"

_Shamans are not appreciated here._

Strange that he could remember that specific utterance from everything else Lily had said during their first meeting. Of course, he knew that was based on her prejudice against elder magic. Now...now that he had proven to the both of them the benefits of his family's heritage, she was much more tolerant and he was willing to actually use it. 

They had both come a long way from their first meeting, four years ago to the month.

"I believe that opinions can change, but of course the effort must be met halfway," he said, his mood considerably lightened. Even his body did not ache as much as it had before. "What is next for today's training?"

Rosliand smiled. It was rare when a random smile of hers was perceived as a fortuitous event; suddenly, Canas wished he had not been in that good of a mood. His sense of self-preservation, he supposed, was not that developed after all. "No more dodging. The snow is too thick for you. We will try something new. You will attack me."

"Er...pardon?"

"You will attempt to strike me with one of your spells. I will be well-defended with this." She held up a vial of what he surmised was specially-treated water that could blunt the full force of his spell to negligible amounts--he was barely a novice shaman, if that.

He shook his head, hoping against hope that he could talk her out of this. "My apologies, but I could never harm a friend. Please, will you reconsider?"

"Don't worry. You will want to try to hit me at least once." As she lifted up her cloak, his eyes were drawn to the fact that her other hand was drawing her sword out of its scabbard. "If you are too kind, I will kill you," she said with a smile.

First, he considered her sword. He considered it at great length. Then he considered her smile. This, he did not want to study after more than the time it took to glance at those bared teeth. After a short deliberation, he decided that he would be unable to reach his house before she approached melee range. As he reluctantly took out his Flux tome, two thoughts occurred to him.

His first thought was this: _Perhaps this was what Lily was trying to protect me from when she was trying to dissuade me from taking up her role as guardian? _

His second thought was much simpler. 

_Ah, this tome only has enough power for three spells..._

-0-

While her eyes were fixated on the large wooden bowl, Lily asked, "So, how's your weaving going, Mina?" She threw the dice into the bowl and threw her hands up and cheered when she saw she had gotten a four, five, and six. "I win this round!" Her very adorable son, from his perch on her lap, twisted to look at her, then mimicked her pose. Charmed by this--he was finally growing a personality!--she hugged him and kissed him on top of his fuzzy little head. When she looked up, she noticed that Tinae was pouting as the older woman retrieved the dice. 

"It's going nicely, thank you for asking!" Mina said with the same sort of excitement Lily imagined herself having every time she talked about her dream of a green Ilia. The thought made her smile as she focused her attention on the younger woman. "Ever since I saw the patterns on the Sacaean clothing of some of the hunters, I've always wanted to make a rug that colorful. Don't you think it'd really liven up the house?"

"Yes, of course." The sound of the bone dice rattling inside the bowl drew her attention. "Eh, a three..." Lily murmured. At least it wasn't a five or a six.

Tinae sighed. "Well, if it's the best I can do... Your turn, Lily!"

"Would you like a rug?" Mina was wringing her hands in a very delicate manner, as if she were trying to hide her nervousness. "You can consider it the payment...I mean, the trade for the lessons your husband is giving Rachel."

Every bit of shrewdness Lily possessed was being used at this moment. "Hm, that's fair, but it's no good to only have one rug. I'd like something to match in the bedrooms as well." She took out the dice and shook them in one loose fist; her son mimicked this, too. After letting the statement hang in the air for a long moment, Lily looked at Mina and smiled. "What do you think is a fair trade for that?"

"Lessons for Rachel as a herbalist," Mina said without a hitch, a bit too eagerly. Then, as if sensing she might've made a mistake in the bargaining, she demurely looked at her lap, her long, twilight-purple hair hiding her face like a veil. "Um...that is...not that it's so important to me..."

_Even after all these years, she's still too easy to read when bargaining_, Lily couldn't help but think. Since the village ran on the trade of goods and services, it was much harder to 'get ahead' in what was owed, since everyone knew what the best deal was. Except for Mina, who almost always took the initial deal, and Canas, who was much too interested in teaching others to care about the favors he was gaining, everyone was well-versed in this sort of economy. Even Kelial. Lily twitched at that thought. _Especially_ Kelial.

"I'd be happy to," she interrupted, adjusting the baby from slumping against her body. Mimicking adults apparently took a lot out of him. "I'm not going to take advantage of you." She threw the dice into the bowl as quietly as she could as she cradled her son with her left arm--her left hand felt too stiff for this game today. "Damn," she muttered when she realized she'd gotten three ones. 

"Lost this round, hm? Too bad you got 'three eyes' ...hmm, would that also be called a 'Canas'?" Tinae grinned. Lily rolled her eyes as Mina hid a smile behind her hand. "Anyway, Lily, are you thinking of giving up your job so soon?" Tinae asked as she took the dice and rolled them between her palms.

"Eh, I'm not so old to do that. I know that Rachel really wants to do it, and she's intelligent enough to make a good apprentice." Leaning back against the frame of the couch, Lily cradled her dozing son with both arms and closed her eyes. "Besides, as a co-leader, I've found that my time spent on categorizing and such has been less and less these days."

"Is it really that hard?" Mina asked, her tone sympathetic. "I always thought that Grandmother Yunice was overwhelmed by her duties, but she always seemed very happy."

Lily shrugged. "No, not really." This was not a lie; in some ways, stepping down as guardian and taking on the mantle of a leader made her feel like she had lowered herself. All she had to do was to make sure that what the village required from the Union did not exceed what the Union was able to give, and managing her herbs had taught her a great deal about organization already. Sometimes she discussed the village with Yunice and Jorah, but it was obvious that Corinth was largely self-sustaining in resources. There was always game in the form of deer and rabbits, and fish when the ice of the river melted. There were plenty of trees for firewood, the oaks in particular also providing material for furniture and acorns for flour. A couple sheep provided all the wool they needed to make the thick clothes necessary for surviving in such a place. All they needed from the Union was lily bulbs as a vegetable alternative and some assurance that they were part of a country.

Altogether, it was enough to live on, enough to survive. Just enough.

_That's what makes us the people we are_, she thought. _Since we don't need much, we're not motivated by excessive amounts. As a people, we know the value of ourselves and what we give to each other. We know the value of a pegasus knight and how much more it is than the value of a mercenary knight, and we know the value of death._

_ Because of that, I think we've become too comfortable. Too complacent. We don't have hope for anything better, we just...survive. We're trapped in snow and ice, and somehow we've tricked ourselves into believing this is all we can expect._

The dice rattled inside the bowl as she murmured, "I want to change that," and so she figured neither of her friends had heard her. That was all right, because she had seen how uncomfortable they looked whenever she would tell them about her dreams, her hopes for Ilia. Only Canas and Kelial actually believed in the reality behind the ideal; only an Ilian whose mind far exceeded the trappings of one country and a displaced foreigner could actually let themselves believe.

Somehow, she thought that was fitting.

-0-

Canas sighed as he made his way back home, rubbing the back of his neck as he tried to ignore both the aches of his body as well as the niggling feeling inside of him. He hoped Rosliand was able to return to her own home, although admittedly she had not betrayed any sense of pain when he had finally managed to strike her with his second spell. 

_Why should I be bothered? This dark magic can't compare to anything I've seen in my life._

She had laughed, but it had seemed false to him. When he thought about it, he did not know all that much about Rosliand even though she had been his second friend in the village. 

_Would it be all right to ask?_ he wondered. _She's a very private person...I would hate for her to think I was prying into her affairs. And yet, I have to admit that I am curious..._

A twinge in his left shoulder caused him to wince; he had landed on a rock half-hidden in the snow during the dodging exercise. Bruises, caused by snowballs with the density of ice and thrown with deadly accuracy, throbbed along his abdomen and limbs as well as the center of his forehead. There was a stiffness to his joints from his fervent desire to not be hit, but he was slow in gaining the flexibility he needed to match desire with actual skill. All in all, he was thankful that the actual battles simply could not compare to what Rosliand put him through. 

He supposed that meant he was improving, though it certainly did not feel like it.

After trudging through the snow, he was relieved to reach his house. "I'm home," he announced as he entered, the warmth of the house enveloping him. Instantly, he felt a bit better. "Oh," he uttered as he noticed Tinae and Mina. "Good afternoon. I hope I'm not interrupting anything."

"No, not at all." Mina stood and inclined her head; he did the same out of respect. "I should be going..." She turned to Lily. "I shouldn't leave Jorah alone with Elysia for too long...she's been biting anything she can reach lately." Canas noticed Lily wince in sympathy, and the both of them regarded their sleeping son with at least a little trepidation.

"Just like Nikeah when she was little," Tinae said, her voice strangely soft. It took a moment for Canas to remember that Nikeah was the name of Tinae's second child, as well as a pegasus knight trainee, and when he did the revelation saddened him. Even someone like her, who was very spirited, had her own share of worries. "I'll go with you, since it gets boring winning all the time."

Lily frowned as she stood, hefting their son against her chest. "That's because you cheated every time."

"Feh." In an amazing display of maturity, Tinae stuck her tongue out at Lily. "Not _every_ time. Bye!" With a wave, Tinae followed behind Mina. After he closed the door behind their guests, Canas looked over and noticed that his wife was seething, which made him reconsider staying on this side of the door.

"She always cheats, but I can never figure out how she does it," she muttered as she walked up to him, but the look of curiosity she had affixed on him was oddly calm. "How was your training?"

"Oh, well, it was--" He opted not to continue after she raised her hand and pushed back the fringe of hair that fell over his forehead. One of her eyebrows was raised in a way that he recognized as a question in its own right, and he was unsure how he should react when her thumb rubbed the spot where the iceball had knocked him unconscious.

"This looks bad." After she lowered her hand--and smoothed his bangs down--he watched her shake her head in obvious bemusement. "Next time, please duck."

He could not even remember seeing it come at him. "I'll try to remember that."

"Sure," she said, the corners of her lips lifted in a slight smile. "I can either prepare an ice pack for you, or I can heat up a bath first. Which would you like?"

"Oh, you don't have to go through the trouble--"

"Here's your son."

Not even a moment after he accepted the baby when their son awoke and stared at him. Something like recognition lit in the baby's eyes and he offered a gummy smile at Canas, who was instantly charmed. Their son was just so adorable! Before he knew it, he was sitting down and making sure their son kept his little hands away from his monocle.

Lily's sigh was audible. "That's so cute."

He inclined his head in her direction as an indication that he was listening, even as he kept his eyes on their child--even at six months, their son had shown a potential in grabbing things when everyone least expected it. "I thought you gave him to me as a form of distraction?" he inquired.

"I guess it worked on me, too. He just gets cuter the older he gets." There was a lingering pause of anticipation after her words, and he glanced at her to find that she was smiling softly at them. He smiled back, doubly charmed, and in that moment the baby had grabbed the monocle and tried to put it in his mouth.

"Ah! Please give that back," Canas pleaded as he tried to dislodge the object from the baby's mouth. When he succeeded in doing so, the child began to cry. In utter helplessness he looked up at Lily, who only sighed and went back to her seat to retrieve the baby's favorite toy, a wooden horse, to hand to their son. This toy immediately went into his mouth, too; Canas was beginning to wonder how sanitary all this was. He certainy did not want to wear his monocle without a thorough cleaning first.

"Will you be all right?" she asked, a note of teasing in her voice. He could only sigh. "That's good to know. I'll get everything ready for you." She paused, then said, "You've really impressed Rosliand, you know. She wouldn't work you so hard if she didn't think you could handle it."

Such flattering words surprised him, and he felt somewhat embarrassed. "She told me I was useless," he reported as a way to deflect the praise. He was not particularly hurt; even as the youngest son, he had still managed to earn a fair bit of his mother's ire, moreso once he became the lone successor to their bloodline. His wife did not necessarily looked pleased hearing this, so he hastened to add, "Because I was temporarily unconscious due to, ah, a snowball."

"Yeah, sure," she said, her tone derisive. "Only ice would leave an impression like that." Canas felt vindicated. "No one here thinks you're useless, trust me. Now I'm really leaving this time, so try to keep him from crying."

"Yes," he responded, his blurry vision now fixed on their son. Her reply was the creak of the door as it opened and closed. His son stared at him with large eyes, all while contentedly sucking on the toy. Smiling, Canas reached around for a tome to read aloud, discovered that the table had been cleared in his absence, then decided to recite a passage of a tome he had written a series of papers on during his days in Aquleia; even now he could still remember whole chapters from that tome. His son's eyes never left his face as he talked in a soft voice--such cognizance was admirable in a child so young.

_It is hard to believe that just a year ago Lily was only telling me she was pregnant_, he thought in amazement as the baby's glance flickered elsewhere for a moment before returning to his face. _Time truly flies by, it seems..._

That was not a bad thing, he was sure. However, he could not help but feel an odd pressure in his chest just thinking about it. He was already twenty-seven. In another six months, his child would reach the completion of his first cycle and be given a name. And so on it would go. On one hand, it was exciting to know that he was going to watch his first child--if Lily agreed there would definitely be more--grow up; on the other hand, he felt off-balance by the speed in which a single year passed. 

But since Canas was an optimist by nature, he was excited to see what would happen next.

-to be continued-

Back on schedule once again! 

--Three Eyes, the dice game, is based off of the infamous Chinchirorin mini-game from the Suikoden series; to this day, I think I'm the only one who likes that game. It feels rigged towards the computer, though, so Lily rightfully feels cheated here.


	30. The Naming Celebration

Shadows Under the Oak Tree

(C) Intelligent Systems and Nintendo

-0-

30. The Naming Celebration  
(_What's in a name?_)

"We need to start thinking of a name."

Canas paused in writing a notation in his tome on advanced techniques in archaeology (specifically, on methods of extricating shards of active dragonstones) as he lost his train of thought, but he recovered enough of it to finish the line. "Hm?" he queried as he focused his attention on his wife, who was playing with their son on the floor. "He's only nine months old..."

"That's 'he's already nine months old', you mean," she corrected with a smile as she looked up at Canas. Their son took that very moment to attempt to stand, only to fall directly into Lily's chest. She wrapped an arm around him in order to steady the child from falling any further before she set him on the floor, then returned her attention to Canas. "It's time we started thinking about it. After all, a name isn't something to be taken lightly."

"Yes, I see." Then, with more cheer: "I'm sure you'll think of a wonderful name."

With narrowed eyes, she stared at him in a way that made him wonder how he could have possibly annoyed her with a mere sentence. "Lazy," she stated, and turned away with a melodramatic huff.

He blinked. That did not change the situation very much. "Ah...me?" She did not reply, as she was loudly cooing over their son's next attempt to stand. Strangely enough, he had the feeling she was ignoring him. "May I ask why? I only assumed that, well, since you did go through the, erm, burden of childbirth..."

"Are you making fun of me?" she demanded, but she did turn to smile at him right before their son fell into her chest again. "And you! It's not enough you gnaw on me, is it? Anyway, Canas, I'd like for us to name our son together. So many Ilians don't get that chance."

"Because of the death rate for pegasus and mercenary knights?"

"There's that, but I was also thinking about all the children who never live long enough to receive a name, because they die before completing one cycle of life," she answered, an odd timbre to her voice that drew him into her words that much more. "I think about it a lot, how lucky we are to have such a healthy son."

Canas closed his eyes, a sudden wave of empathy washing over him. "We truly are," he murmured, so lost in thought that he almost did not notice that her eyes were aimed at him until she was already turning back to their son. Her smile was quick, like a flash of lightning over the Sacae Plains, and it was just as mesmerizing. He could not help but stare at her until her head was turned away from him again, her attention distracted as their son began to crawl away at a frightening speed.

"So then," she started to say once the baby was safely ensconced on her lap, "what kind of name do you think suits our little runaway here?

"Hm, that's a difficult question," he answered honestly. What could possibly be the perfect name for their first child? It was not something that could be quickly exchanged once the name was chosen--at least, that was what he thought.

She turned to him, waving at him in the 'come here' gesture. "If we're not interrupting, you could come down here and play with us. I'm going to get a crick in my neck if I have to keep turning to look at you."

"Oh, of course," he said, and his studies were quickly forgotten in favor of his family.

-0-

Lily smiled out of reflex, unsure of what to say about the scene that greeted her as soon as she entered Tinae's house. The thick aroma of fresh venison stew filled the sitting room, and tea cups were set out. "...I thought we were just going to make suggestions about my son's name? This seems a little...much."

Kelial waved from his seat, which was as close to the hearth as possible. "What, all this food? Think of it as a free meal." He reached out and took the bowl that Rian, who was stirring the cauldron in the hearth, handed to him. "Thanks, kid."

"Get out of the doorway, you're letting all the heat out," Tinae chided as she pushed Lily inside the house. Lily stumbled, then turned to give Tinae a dirty look. "Go on, sit down already! No one's leaving until you figure out a name."

_But there's still two months left_, Lily thought with a sigh as she went to do as she was told. _Well, it would be nice to come up with a name today._

Rian filled another bowl with stew and handed it to Lily; the smirk on his face and the obnoxious rolling of his eyes made her smile. "Mom, Dad needs me out back," he said in a much more polite tone than his expression showed. An amused Lily went to sit down next to Kelial, and the both of them watched as mother and son interacted.

"If he needs you, he'll come inside himself," Tinae stated as she walked towards the other couch in her sitting room. "Which would be good, since it's about time for him to eat."

"But Dad's in the middle of working on that deer we killed this morning. He's going to need some help." With another bowl in hand, Rian gave it to his mother.

"Your father's been taking apart animals longer than you've been alive. He'll handle it just fine. Besides, I'd rather Sami watched, but she's too busy learning that useless stuff." Tinae sat down, placed her bowl on the large table between the couches, and began pouring tea for everyone. "Anyway, this will be good for you when you have your own children."

Lily was about to comment on 'useless stuff', but Kelial leaned against her and whispered in her ear, "Five says the kid will argue." She bit her lip at this and thought quickly.

"Landscape of Bern says he'll switch the topic."

Rian, with a bowl of his own in hand, sat down beside his mother and deliberately did not look in her direction. "Mom, I'm sure Auntie Lily can think of a name just fine with her husband. I don't think anyone asked for your help."

After placing the teapot on the table, Tinae stared at her son. Irritation darkened her fine features. "You can go, if you want," she said, "but if you think that chores are more important than friends, I have plenty for you to do afterwards."

There was a sort of delayed fear on Rian's face, something which Lily could only liken to the dawning fear after yelling on a mountain and hearing the first rumblings of an avalanche, as he slowly turned to face his mother. "Right. Sorry, Mom. I'd love to stay here and make suggestions. Really."

Kelial leaned in again. "Ten says he's dead after this meeting."

"Two pictures says..." Lily started, before Tinae's head swiveled in her direction, "...we're dead now."

"Are you done?" Tinae said in a very pleasant tone. The feeling that ran down Lily's spine was worse than a mere chill, so she laughed very falsely.

"What names did you have in mind?"

There was an odd, unsettling quiet inside the room as everyone who was not Tinae nervously looked at each other. Then, suddenly, Tinae's expression brightened and she picked up the teapot again. "I was thinking we should decide first what kind of name would suit him best," she announced, and everyone relaxed.

"Obviously, a boy should have a strong name." Kelial gulped down a spoonful of stew. "Hey, this is actually good."

"What do you mean, 'actually'?" After taking a sip of tea and giving Kelial an odd look, Tinae began eating. "And what the hell is a 'strong name'?"

Lily and Rian's glances met, debating through locked gazes who was going to interrupt what could quickly become a nasty argument. Unfortunately for Lily, Rian looked down and focused on his meal. _That's not fair_, Lily could only think as she chewed on a meaty hunk of venison, then swallowed. "A strong name is a name that fits, so let's figure out what would fit my son. He's very active and doesn't cry easily."

"Oh, how about one of the Eight Legends?" Tinae suggested between bites. "There's some good names there."

"Like Hartmut?" Kelial the Bernese knight commented. Rian managed to look up from his own bowl.

"Barigan's not bad, either."

Shrugging, Lily reached for her teacup. "I don't know. They're good names, but I'd feel uncomfortable naming my son after Lord Barigan." She nudged Kelial's side. "Would you really name your son Hartmut?"

"Well, it is a good name, but I see your point." Kelial smiled in that way that used to make Lily feel unbalanced when they were younger. "What about Athos? Your kid's gonna be a magic user, right?"

"Or Bramimond," Rian suggested in a quiet voice.

_...That's no good_, Lily thought, unbalanced in a far less pleasant way than a smile could ever do to her. _Anima or dark magic...I'm not even sure he can use magic. I don't want to think about the type of magic he'll inherit if he can._ "No, no, I don't like either." With a quick smile, she refocused her attention on the bowl of filling, warm stew.

"Eh, I agree." Tinae put down her empty bowl and leaned back, her arms cushioning her head. "None of those names work. The most manly name out of all those is Hanon, anyway."

Lily glanced at Kelial, who stared at Rian, who cut his eyes towards Lily, none of them willing to break what was apparently news to the oldest of the party. Finally, after Lily and Kelial glared at Rian, Tinae's oldest child cleared his throat. "Mom...Hanon is a woman's name."

"Huh. Those Sacaeans sure give their daughters strange names, then," said an utterly unfazed Tinae. Lily was momentarily embarrassed for her friend, because everyone knew Tactless Tinae rarely felt such ordinary emotions like embarrassment or shame.

Rian was horrified. "Mom, I can't believe you just said that. She was one of the Eight Legends! She wielded Mulgre, the Bow of the Winds!"

"All right, all right, I'm sorry." Tinae patted her son on his arm. "You'll be able to go to Sacae in a few more months, so just calm down for now."

Kelial cleared his throat as he turned to Lily. "So that leaves out Saint Elimine too. Aren't I forgetting some?"

"Roland of Lycia and Durban of the Western Isles," Lily said, a bit depressed. Mistaking the gender of a hero, forgetting two of the more famous Legends...she felt embarrassed. _Though, if Canas were here, he'd be mortified._ Different things were important to different people, she supposed.

"Oh, right. No good?"

"Mm, Roland has potential, but I'm not sure."

"Auntie," Rian interrupted, "why not something different. Like maybe an animal of some type?"

_An animal?_ Lily spooned some more stew. "That's weird," she commented with a smile.

Tinae clapped her hands, laughter dancing in her eyes. "Wolf!"

Kelial snorted. "No, no, definitely Geese."

Rian hung his head in obvious embarrassment, though he looked to Lily like he was holding in his laughter. "So, not Lizard then?"

"No, no, no!" Lily exclaimed, although the giggles she was not doing a good job of stifling didn't do much for her serious protest. "You're all horrible! This is more of 'what _not_ to name a child'!"

"A tree!" Kelial shouted. "You can name him Birch!"

With one arm slung around her waist as she tried to breathe through her laughter, Tinae waved the other at Kelial. "No, Oak!"

"That's even worse! As if I would name my son something like Fir!" After she said that, Lily knew that the meeting was over as they were all too busy trying not to die from laughter.

Even if she hadn't found the perfect name, enjoying a meal and the company of her best friends was important too.

-0-

Canas noticed that, whenever his mother visited, the atmosphere always felt a bit off. Lily would take on mannerisms familiar to him only because they were ones he would adopt when he was nervous, such as a formality that could be seen as distant and even rude. As far as he was concerned, he never meant to be intentionally unfriendly; he truly liked and enjoyed the presence of other people. He had only been taught from a young age to always be polite, which apparently could sometimes be construed as being standoffish, as it was in his earlier years in Corinth.

That was his excuse. He was unsure what was Lily's, especially since his wife was the sort of person who easily adapted to accommodate the people she was around. She even seemed to be getting along with his mother; this, despite the fact they mutually distrusted each other's schools of magic. But ever since the baby was born...well, he was unable to place his feeling on a specific moment, but he suspected that Lily was nervous about something regarding his mother. Attempts to investigate were met with requests to watch their son, requests to research a trivial matter in their work on how to utilize the stored magic inside the wyvernstone, and more recently, requests to mind his own business.

He supposed it could be considered ironic that her last request only piqued his interest. 

This was why he was paying more attention than usual during his mother's visit; the three of them were in the sitting room while the child was taking a nap in his and Lily's bedroom. The only thing that was vaguely odd about this was that Lily had put the baby down for his nap almost as soon as his mother arrived, though their son was rather lethargic and fussy. Perhaps it was not terribly odd, but he had mentally filed it away anyway. Lily had seemed more relaxed when she came back with her knitting needles, crimson yarn, and another attempt at making a scarf. Her tenacity was admirable, though he wondered from where she received all that yarn.

His mother sat on the couch opposite of them and flipped through one of the tomes he had requested from her during her last visit. He was perusing another, meticulously checking his current research while deciding ways in which said research could be improved. It was rather peaceful, all told.

"So," his mother started, not even looking up from her tome, "have you decided on a name for the boy?"

Canas decided that anything that started with the superficially casual 'so' were really attempts to ruin the mood. The clacking of the needles stopped as Lily muttered something under her breath and began pulling apart the scarf. Since she was otherwise indisposed, he smiled, though it felt a bit strained. "Unfortunately, we have been unable to find a name that we feel would be satisfactory for our son," he answered honestly. "But we still have a month left, so we intend to make the most of it."

His mother 'hmm'ed. "Then, you're unable to agree."

"No, that's not it," Lily said, her attention wholly focused on her project. "We rarely disagree. We just want the best name for our son."

"Of course," his mother replied, and Canas was unsure what was more strange: Lily's refutation of his mother's statement, or the amusement on his mother's face. "However, a name is such a minor thing compared to what lies inside the child."

_What an odd thing to say_, he thought. Of course, as his mother was an odd character, it was not uncommon for her to act in interesting ways. Just--and perhaps he was wrong--his mother did not normally speak as if she was implying something else. His confusion only deepened as Lily raised her head and stared directly at his mother.

"I'm sorry, Lady Niime, but I'm not certain what you mean. Aren't all children special?" Lily smiled in such a way that Canas was unsettled just to see it. "To me, a name may be the most important thing a parent can give to a child. After all, you didn't just name your sons any old thing, right?"

"No. As you would know too well, there is a tradition to name children after flowers in Ilia. The reasoning behind that is that these children will bloom in a country where little else does." Smiling, his mother leaned forward. "I had always wished that my parents had given me a name as lovely as a flower."

This time, he could tell that his wife's smile was sincere. "Well, I think my mother was trying to make a joke, with her being an herbalist, but I do like my name. Do you really dislike your name, Lady Niime? It's a very interesting one."

"More disappointment than anything else. As I was born near the Etrurian border, I was exposed to the beauty of flowers from an early age. Have you ever seen a lily before?"

"No, just pictures, unfortunately."

He hated to interrupt, but something in his mother's phrasing had caught his attention. "Mother, don't you mean that Ilians name their daughters after flowers?" She glanced at him, her smile not as pronounced as it had been when she was conversing with his wife.

"You make do with what you have to work with."

"...Ah." That answer typically meant that he probably did not want to know more, but he could see Lily glancing at him, then his mother.

"Is Canas' name derived from a flower, Lady Niime?"

His mother nodded. "I happened to see it during my travels in the southern islands, just before I was pregnant with him. A beautiful flower, the cannas. It's also known as the canna lily." Her gaze flickered to meet his own before she returned her attention to Lily. "I gave up hoping for a daughter after he was born."

As a consequence of being born to the Mountain Hermit herself, he was used to feeling guilt for a variety of reasons. However, feeling guilty about being born male, something he had no choice in, was a new and disconcerting idea. He looked down at the text of his tome, but the comfort he normally found in the printed word and pages of dazzling knowledge was minimal at best.

"It's just as well," his mother continued. "A girl wouldn't look very cute with a monocle."

Canas was starting to feel put-upon.

"But he looks so scholarly with it...hm?" Lily stopped as the sounds of their son's crying began to filter out into the sitting room. "Oh, he sounds hungry. Excuse me." She stepped past him and left the room. As soon as she had done so, his mother stood up.

"Are you leaving so soon, Mother?" he inquired, surprised. She only visited as often as she did to seen her grandson, and this time she had scarcely gotten more than a glimpse of him.

"I'm not so powerful that I can sustain your brothers forever while I'm out here," she stated as she wrapped her shawl around her and picked up her staff. "It was draining enough when I stayed here to help your wife before the birth."

Canas nodded, understanding. His mother's reputation was deserved, but even she had her limits, especially at her age--she would reach her sixtieth cycle in just a few years, and it showed in her gnarled hands and stooped figure. "Have a good trip, and thank you once again for the study materials," he said as he stood and opened the door for her.

"You and your wife are such grand dreamers. I suppose she fits you in that regard." She made her way to the door, her pace sturdy and confident. Just before she stepped out into the snow, she glanced at him. "Be sure to give our heir a good name," and with those words she was gone in a flash of light.

"Heir?" he asked the dancing snowflakes, unsure if he had heard correctly. But there was no answer, save for the wind, and with a growing sense of trepidation he closed the door.

-0-

Lily could hear the sounds of her friends and neighbors behind the bedroom door. Everyone sounded happy and healthy and she wished she could be out in her sitting room with all of them. It was a good thing she had asked Tinae to help serve food because she had done the same thing for Tinae once, during the one-year cycle for the girl who would be named Sami. At least Tinae and Valan had been able to come up with a name, because at the moment--

"Canas, have you found anything?"

"No, yourself?"

"Not yet."

--she and Canas hadn't.

They sat next to each other on their bed while their son sat in Canas' lap while playing with a lock of her hair, the both of them frantically looking through books for the right name. The right name, the right name, was there ever anything like the right and perfect name for a beloved first child?

"Do you think that perhaps we built up too much anticipation? That perhaps we thought too much about this?" Canas said as he flipped through a book that she dearly hoped was not a collection of magic essays. "Surely a name is merely just that?"

"If that were true, you wouldn't sound so desperate," Lily noted as every single name in the history book Chronicles of a Hero failed to impress her. "It's much easier to name a girl. We could've just picked a flower."

Her husband sighed. "Apparently we can do that for a son as well."

"Oh, cheer up. No matter what your mother says, I think you would've made a cute girl."

They glanced at each, then smiled, some of the tension melting away with that simple act. She didn't know how to describe, but she loved the way he smiled at her. There was something comforting behind it, warm and pleasant. It wasn't even rare; all he needed was a book to be happy, or to talk about a theory he was learning. And yet, even though he was a naturally pleasant person, she thought she wasn't wrong in comparing his smile to some precious stone, like diamond or...

She grabbed his shoulder. "Diamond!"

"D-diamond?"

"Yes, diamond!"

Both he and their son were staring at her with the same surprised look. "Lily, what do you mean?" Canas asked, a thoughtful frown appearing on his face. "Diamond...I can't say I've ever thought of a mineral as a name..."

She nudged him in the side in annoyance. "No, the Diamond Knight! The greatest Ilian knight that ever lived!"

The recognition dawning on his face was the best thing she had seen all morning. "Ah, the Diamond Knight, Sir Hugh..." He paused, looking down at their son, who was tangling tiny fingers into her hair--with such an inquisitive child, Lily had given up telling him to stop unless he was pulling on it. "That's quite a legacy to fulfill, but he _is_ very active..."

Lily giggled. "Isn't he?"

It was a good name, she thought, and she could see the same in Canas' eyes. It wasn't a name taken after an impassive object like a tree, something that would've never fit their playful son. It wasn't a name taken from an animal--spirits forbid. The Eight Legends had good names, but putting that kind of legacy on their son seemed burdensome to her. Flowers, names from other countries...nothing seemed to suit him.

But _Hugh_. Hugh, named the Diamond Knight after his death, had been an Ilian Mercenary Knight commander living several hundred years ago. He had been a good knight but a better man, said to be as charming off the battlefield as he was merciful on it, and he had done much to improve the reputation of the Union after a series of scandals nearly destroyed its reputation. His last stand was a story told to every Ilian child; hired by the Lycian Alliance to protect the Ostian border during the Etrurian invasion, he led his brigade in a perfect defense while the Etrurian army tried to push through, unwilling to break while the rebuilding Lycian army marched back to the border. It was said that he was the last to fall, waiting to see the Lycian Alliance flags before he would allow himself to die. He had never been honored or respected by either those that hired him or those that fought him, but he represented flawless duty, honor, and pride; Ilia as a nation recovered its sense of self-respect because of him.

More than anything else, Lily wanted her son to be proud of who he was.

The door opened, and a harried-looking Tinae poked her head through the opening. "Are you done? Everyone's waiting!"

"We'll be right there." Lily turned to Canas. "Are we ready?"

Canas smiled. "Yes." Picking up their son, her husband supported him with one arm as he held out his other hand to her. "Shall we?"

She only smiled as she entwined her fingers with his.

-to be continued-

Whew! Well, I hope everyone's been enjoying the holidays! Thank you for reading this last update for the year, and I hope 2007 will be a good year for everyone!

--I apologize to all fans of Fir and Geese. And there might be a slight crossover with another video game series, but I'm not apologizing for it. :)

--The cannas/canna lily description is unfortunately true, and it is the likeliest basis for Canas' name. It wasn't meant to be so punny--Lily was named to match with Iris.


	31. Successor

Shadows Under the Oak Tree

(C) Intelligent Systems and Nintendo

-0-

31. Successor  
(_One heir, two houses._)

Canas knew that hindsight was supposedly perfect for most people while true foresight rarely existed. With that in mind, even at the time it had been painfully obvious that nothing good would come from his discovery.

But on that nice summer day, the only thing on his mind was an interesting new study on more efficient means of extricating a spell from its tome in order to enhance spellcasting. Although the paper was aimed towards anima users, as it was Lord Pent's latest, Canas had already thought of several ways this could be applied to elder magic. He was looking forward to explaining his ideas to Lily, whom he could count on to make useful inquiries and suggestions. 

Just as he thought about his wife, he could hear her humming as she stepped out of the hallway. He did not need to look up to know that she was balancing Hugh on her hip while an arm was slung behind their son in order to better support him, but Canas did anyway; it was part of their morning routine. "Good morning," he greeted, then blinked in surprise as he focused on his wife. Usually when she planned on spending most of her day indoors, she tied her hair back in a simple manner, but today, save for the hair hanging loose around her face, most of it was tied in a braid that reached the middle of her back. "Oh, do you have a meeting today?"

"Didn't I tell you?" she asked, appearing taken aback that he had asked such a question. "I'm sure I told you last night."

He could recall no such thing; the only thing he was sure of was that he had been reading Lord Pent's essay and thinking about its theories before deciding to sleep on it. "My apologies, I don't remember. What is your meeting about?"

"Just the usual, plus I have to do a count to make sure we'll be splitting up the rations fairly. With the Union unable to work in Bern, the price of the amount of rations it takes to help feed everyone in the winter is even worse than usual." Lily sighed, hoisting up their son so that his head rested comfortably on her shoulder. "But it'll be all right. So, you don't remember me saying that?"

"Ah, no." There was the dim recollection that he had been making agreeable noises for some reason, but he could better remember the print on the coarse paper.

"I see. And here I thought you were paying at least a little attention." With a smile, she approached him and deposited Hugh onto his lap. "I'll remember that, _dear_."

Canas chuckled as he put Lord Pent's essay far away from Hugh's hands and adjusted their son so that he could sit more comfortably. "I do apologize. Since you've allowed me only three days to study Lord Pent's latest paper, I must admit that I felt that I should focus all my attention on it in order to take full advantage of my time." 

Crossing her arms in front of her, Lily stared down at Canas with her head tilted just so and one eyebrow arched. It came to mind that she appeared both highly intimidating as well as rather cute, but he believed she was probably going for the former. "I remember when you used to all but cower and do as I said. Now you're so comfortable that you're ignoring me and telling me why." She lowered one arm to place a hand on his shoulder as she smiled down at him in a vaguely threatening way. "Maybe too comfortable?"

"Is there such a thing?" he wondered aloud. In response, her smile grew much warmer as she stroked his hair.

"A few years ago, if I did this, you'd start looking very uncomfortable about now. So, I suppose I hope not." She leaned over and kissed his forehead, little more than a light brush of her lips, but he appreciated the gesture all the same. "But I'm not talking for my own amusement."

"Um-ma," Hugh said, looking at his mother with wide eyes.

Lily laughed. "I'm sorry, I don't mean to neglect you!" Leaning even further, she kissed their son on the cheek before straightening up. "All right, I'm going now. Canas, if Hugh is hungry, please don't take him out to find me without bundling him up, like last time. I know you're uncomfortable with his crying, but a cold is much worse for a baby. Understood?"

Her tone of voice brooked no argument. "Yes, understood."

"And Hugh," she said, catching their son's attention. Canas felt a bit of pride at this; in just under two months, Hugh understood his new name and seemed to like it when it was used around him. Lily thought their son just liked the attention, which was, in its own way, quite adorable. "Try not to trouble your papa." At this, Hugh yawned. "Wonderful. Two insolent men," Canas thought he heard Lily mutter as she turned away. "Bye!"

"Good luck with your meeting," Canas called, raising one hand to wave at her. Hugh stared at him, then mimicked the gesture. With a smile, Lily waved back before opening the door and exiting. As soon as the door was closed, Canas smiled at his son. "Well, what shall we do today, Hugh?"

Hugh began to babble happily while trying to fall off of Canas' lap, which Canas hastily intercepted. This did not seem to faze the child at all, as he continued to converse in his own special language as he leaned against the hold on him, a far cry from the quiet and complacent baby that clung to his mother. It made Canas wonder if, at such an early age, Hugh had already learned what behavior was acceptable around each parent, which only raised an inquiry as to how exactly Hugh viewed him that the child felt comfortable in reveling in such exuberant play. Not that Canas minded--which probably answered his question--but he did wish Hugh would settle down enough so that he could read in peace.

_And he used to be such a peaceful child_, Canas remembered, just as Hugh grabbed one of the tomes on the table. "Ah! Please don't..." Canas exclaimed, but his words trailed away when he realized that Hugh was _cuddling_ with the tome. Curious, he attempted to pry the tome from his son, only to be met with a wordless cry of protest as Hugh only clung tighter to it. "Hm, well, please forgive me, Hugh. May I just look at the cover?"

Canas' request was met with a strange look from his son, but the tome loosened from the child's grasp enough for him to glance at the corner of the front cover. The tome's bound cover was red, and there were gold trimmings marking the corner that Canas was able to see, and by simple deduction he understood that it was Lily's Fire tome. He smiled at this discovery, because he too enjoyed the feeling that anima tomes seemed to possess; it reminded him of the times when Lily used to take him to the natural hot spring inside Mount Athene to commune with the spirits, the soothing peace he had felt while engaging in such an act. Although he could not use the anima tome any more than he could commune with the spirits, he did like to keep one of her tomes near just to glance through it every now and then, as well as to study the properties that made up an anima-type spell. 

More to the point, Hugh's reaction ignited a greater curiosity inside Canas. Was his son just being possessive, or could Hugh sense the magic inside the tome? If the former, it was an interesting little footnote to add to his notes on Hugh's development, but if it were the latter, then Hugh was far more developed than most children from magic-using families tended to be. If at only fourteen months he could sense magic...well, the possibilities were endless! Of course, it made sense, considering the respectable magical legacies of both himself as well as Lily, yet still--Hugh could be a prodigy!

Enthused by his discovery, Canas adjusted his monocle before requesting, "I apologize, but may I please take this..." He plucked the tome out of Hugh's grasp, and in return Hugh began to cry. "Ah! Let me see...here, how about this?" Canas picked up his Flux tome and offered it to his son with a smile. "What do you think, Hugh?"

Hugh stared at it, but made no move to take it like he had the Fire tome. Bringing it a little closer only seemed to irritate the child, who shifted in Canas' lap. Confused, Canas did the only thing he could think of: he lightly pressed the book against Hugh to see if his son would accept it.

The result was an astounding negative. Hugh began to cry louder than Canas had ever heard from the child, as well as threw a fit of epic proportions as he squirmed and flailed and kicked before Canas, stunned by the reaction, managed to drop the tome before attempting to comfort his son.

It was puzzling, to say the least. What sort of child of an elder magic user would react with such fear to a simple magic tome?

-0-

Another day, another meeting. Lily sighed as she slipped her foot inside her favorite pair of boots, which were starting to become old and worn out. _Now that Hugh is old enough, I don't see why we can't go out and fish_, she thought as she watched Hugh toddle down the length of the bedroom with increasingly sure steps. _We all could use a day out, and I could use a new pair of boots._

The thought made her smile, but she lost it when Hugh fell over and began to cry. "Oh no, Hugh..." she called out, standing up from her spot on the bed and hurrying to his side. After picking him up and bouncing him around, plus a generous helping of cooing, his crying had subsided in favor of clinging tightly to her chest. She touched his hair, amazed at how soft and fine it was, and Hugh lifted his head to stare at her with wide eyes. 

_He's so cute_, she thought as she left the bedroom. _I never thought I'd get so used to being a parent. I always thought that other women had a natural talent at it, just like with knitting and cooking and all those other things. I was only ever really good with magic. But I guess being a parent is something I just got used to._

"Hugh," she said as she walked down the hallway. Pointing to herself, she smiled in an encouraging manner. "Who am I?" 

He seemed to consider it for a moment, then he reached up and poked her chin. When she made a face at this, he started laughing.

"That's not the right answer," she told him with a grin. "I'm Mama. Ma-ma."

"Um-ma."

Hugging him, she walked out of the hallway. Canas was at his usual place, writing something down on a piece of paper. He seemed a bit troubled, but Lily wasn't sure if something had happened recently or if he was rereading the little stories he'd asked Rachel and Sami to write. _I don't know what he found wrong with Sami's story_, she thought as she twisted her mouth into a pout. _I'm sure Tinae and Valan are so proud that Sami now knows how to fully skin and prepare a rabbit._

Since Canas seemed not to have noticed them, Lily turned to her son. "Hugh," she whispered, pointing to the figure on the couch, "who is that?" 

Hugh followed her finger, but didn't say a word. 'Papa' was a lot harder to get Hugh to say, for some reason. He looked very serious--or as serious as a fourteen-month-old could, which was pretty grave--as he looked up at her face. "Book," he stated with that serious face, and Lily laughed.

"You're so smart," she said, patting him on the head. That grave expression melted away into a gummy smile, so she kissed his temple in response before glancing in her husband's direction. Canas was looking at them, that troubled expression still lingering on his face, and Lily couldn't help but be concerned.

"Good morning, Lily," he said as she approached him. "You have a meeting to go to today, correct?"

"Oh, so you were listening to me last night. I'm so happy." Lily smiled in an encouraging manner, giving Canas as much of her attention as possible even as Hugh tried to slide out of her arms. "Is something wrong?"

He seemed to be trapped in indecision, his eyes aimed away from her face in what she thought was the most obvious sign that something was wrong ever. To have a husband that was almost painfully easy to read didn't comfort her, though, because if he was unwilling to share what was bothering him...well, maybe she deserved it. His mother was not a subject she wanted to bring up, because she didn't feel right talking so bluntly about Lady Niime to him. That would just make Canas uncomfortable, and she couldn't blame him; if someone had accused her own mother of something without actual evidence, Lily knew she'd be upset.

_Maybe I shouldn't push so hard. If it's really important, Canas will tell me. I trust his judgment._

"Canas," she said, reaching out with one hand to touch his face. He looked up at her, and she had to wonder if it was his guilt she saw flickering about his eyes, or if she was impressing upon him her own feelings. "Don't worry, you don't have to tell me. So, what are you writing about?" 

"Oh, ah, these are my notes on Hugh's development." When he ducked his head to file his papers into a neat stack, her fingers brushed his cheekbone before touching nothing at all--his movement had been that quick. Frowning slightly at all the strange signals she was getting from her husband, she decided that maybe she should've slept in; it wasn't as if there was a set time for the meeting, other than the fact that the idea of fishing really sounded like a good idea right now.

"You'll study anything, won't you?" she asked, a pinch of annoyance in the teasing remark. "Are you going to refer to those notes to remember how Hugh was as a baby, or are those to help when we have another one?"

He paused as he placed the papers far away in case Hugh became very curious, then continued to arrange the tomes on the table just so. "It's very important to study the full scope of Hugh's development, just in case something unexpected should occur," he said, his tone serious.

"...Yes, of course." Now Lily was confused; the way Canas reacted seemed a bit much. It suddenly felt awkward between them, so she sought to change the subject to more pleasant matters. "Anyway," she started, trying to rid herself of the nagging, insistent feeling that she was missing something very important, "I thought we could go fishing later today. Hugh should like the river, and the weather will be pleasant."

With the weird feeling she was having, it actually surprised her when Canas turned around, all but beaming in happiness. "We haven't done that in quite a while! It's been...two years, I believe, since the last trip!"

Confused by the sudden change, she could only vaguely gesture at Hugh, who was asleep on her shoulder. "Well, he was too small to be taken outside."

"Yes, I know," Canas responded, momentarily subdued before brightening again. "I missed the times when we would go out and fish at the river bank. I always appreciated how you were able to cook a fish for lunch with such finesse."

"...I usually just set them on fire."

"And I enjoyed our conversations. It was there when I decided to begin teaching."

_We still talk_, she was about to say, but then she understood. With a smile, she leaned over and kissed him on the cheek before handing him their son. "Maybe if we're lucky, Hugh will be sleepy all day. I miss those things too."

_It is strange to hear Canas talk that way_, she decided as she left the house. _I mean, he was so excited when he first heard I was pregnant, and that never really left him. But there's more to our marriage than just Hugh...maybe Canas is thinking about that? I miss just going up to the mountain with him, even if he'll never really learn how to commune with the spirits, but now we always have to consider what to do with our son. Hugh's completely worth it, but we are only human._

She sighed, a lingering warmth along her face that she just couldn't control. 

_It's nice to be wanted._

-0-

Canas learned at a young age that lying was a reprehensible act. This was not only because of his morals, but because his mother had always been nigh on omniscient and the pain she inflicted was a potent deterrent. Instead, he learned to hide away the parts of the truth that would most affect her. It rarely worked, since she always knew, but it was preferable to simply admitting that, yes, he quite enjoyed studying about other schools of magic. Exasperation from his mother was much more to his liking than outright anger, and he lived, if not by fulfilling his mother's wishes, then by assuring that she would at least tolerate how he lived his life. 

Lily was different. Lily, while observant and sensitive, was not someone who would commiserate with him over Hugh's odd distress over a simple elder magic tome. In fact, she would probably be happy. Canas had to admit that it would not bother him in the least if Hugh was inherently capable of using anima magic, especially since it would give him the chance to learn how Lily's ancestors had taught the skill of wielding magic without a tome.

There was also disappointment, just a little, that the son that took after him in appearance would not when it came to what was inside of him. Canas felt he was allowed that much, and so he preferred to keep his discovery to himself. It had only been about a week since he found out; he would keep it to himself for a little while longer, and then he would tell Lily and join in her celebration.

In all honesty, it was not Lily's reaction that truly weighed on his mind.

"You would do well to listen to your mother when she speaks, child."

Unnerved, Canas hastily focused on his mother. "Ah, please forgive me, I was merely thinking. Can you please repeat yourself?"

"Hmph." His mother bounced Hugh on her lap. The slight smile she had when her grandson laughed disappeared when she looked up at Canas. "Well? What's on your mind? The son I raised would know better than to be so rude."

Canas wondered if he would ever reach the age where his mother would no longer make him feel like a repentant child. As it were at the moment, he adjusted his monocle and tried to maintain a sense of equilibrium. "Ah, forgive me. It is nothing important..." and he trailed off, glancing at his son.

"Speak louder, boy." His mother caught his eye when he continued to watch Hugh. A thin, humorless smile appeared on her face. "Hmph, even now you're so ambivalent. Have you even told your wife about your son's future?"

This was exactly the conversation he wanted to stay away from. Exhaling heavily through his nose, Canas gave up. _It is obvious I cannot escape her interrogation...and I never really could._ "Mother, about that...erm, Hugh is...I am afraid he might be, ah, incapable of fully comprehending elder magic."

His mother said nothing, but her face was tight as she stared down at the grandson who quietly played with a toy while he sat on her lap. "What is the evidence for that conclusion?" she asked, her tone edged with steel. 

"He, ah, is frightened whenever an elder magic tome is placed in his vicinity." Canas fidgeted; he knew that the evidence seemed insubstantial, but he did not like the idea of forcing Hugh into the life of an elder magic user. The way his son had cried when confronted with the Flux tome did not sound like the sort of apprehension he himself went through to become a shaman-in-training.

It sounded like raw, primal fear.

"Oh, is that all?" With a huff, his mother placed Hugh on the table. "A simple matter barely worth the worry."

Canas watched her. "W-what are you intending on doing?"

_I'm not quite sure even you can do anything_, he did not say.

"A series of simple hexes," she said, flexing her gnarled hands into gestures he recognized from various tomes on supportive and indirect magic, something that had interested him only nominally. "They'll make the child grow comfortable with true darkness." 

Fidgeting again, Canas was unprepared for the almost violent feeling that he was betraying his son's trust as Hugh turned around and stared at him. There was nothing on Hugh's face that indicated that the child understood what was going on; only idle curiosity lingered in his large purple eyes. Leaning forward, Canas touched his son's head, patting down the tufts of hair that seemed to stick up at every opportunity. Hugh smiled, reaching up to try and pull down Canas' hand.

"...Mother, this, ah, procedure won't harm him, will it?"

His mother scoffed. "He should barely be able to feel it, not to talk of it causing harm." Her eyes, dark and heavy with wisdom culled over decades, settled on him and he shifted, discomfited. It was as if her gaze had a physical weight to it; to think of it, he was certain there was. Her eyes narrowed. "Canas, this is necessary for the continuation of our line. This must be done."

He lowered his head, letting his gaze connect with his son's instead. How he hated direct confrontations--no matter how unsure he was, he knew that it was best to let his mother do as she liked instead of blocking her way and risking her displeasure. Besides, if she said that Hugh would not feel the hex working on him, then Canas believed her.

His mother was strange, true, but she was never dishonest. She pursued what she wanted by every other means.

As she continued to gesture, a faint violet aura--her magic signature--glowed around her hands. Words, heavy with age and unfamiliar to Canas, began to spill from her lips like the hiss of sifting sand. All he could do was stroke his son's hair, watching Hugh's face for the barest hint of discomfort. That hint came when the child became encapsulated by a pillar of the same energy; the way Hugh frowned convinced Canas that his son could already See, which was not only unheard of, it should have been impossible--Hugh had no magic aura, the same as all children around his age. A non-magic user could, at best, be capable of sensing magic, as they were not trained in any of the three schools of magic. The training developed the aura, which in turn allowed one to See auras, but the youngest age possible should be just after five cycles had passed.

_But 'should' does not indicate an absolute, only an adherence to an accepted theory or rule_, Canas thought as Hugh began to complain in short, sharp cries. Worried, Canas tried to soothe his son in the tactile method his wife was so fond of: stroking Hugh's hair, patting his stomach, everything he could think of other than holding his son and disrupting the hex. However, Hugh only grew more agitated, his crying degenerating into frightened bawling.

And nothing Canas did seemed to help. 

The door creaked open, and Lily's voice could be heard. "Canas, I can hear Hugh crying from Tinae's house! He didn't break anything, did--" The sentence died a quick death, prompting Canas to look at her, to explain...

_Lily?_

...but when he witnessed the shock on her face, watched it transform from deep surprise to cold appraisal to a sort of fury that seemed to have stiffened every muscle in her face, he knew his words would never reach her. However, her words, soft and just a little ragged with emotion, could be heard through Hugh's cries. 

"What the hell are you doing to my son?"

-to be continued-

And now we come full circle to something the entire story has been playing with from the first chapter: the dichotomy between dark and anima magic, and the catalyst that is the lone heir of two opposing schools of magic. Those of you wanting plot get their wish fulfilled. 


	32. Chasm

Shadows Under the Oak Tree

(C) Intelligent Systems and Nintendo

-0-

32. Chasm  
(_Completely wrong. Between a rock and a hard place._)

"Canas, I can hear Hugh crying from Tinae's house! He didn't break anything, did--" 

Being the sort of person she was--someone who expected that daily life did not really change beyond the minor details--Lily had expected that Hugh had finally managed to injure himself and that Canas had to be completely stressed and confused trying to calm their son down. It wasn't her husband's fault that he was easily unnerved by loud crying, of course not, but she knew that children often fed off of the reactions around them and so Hugh must've been feeling even worse. When she entered her house, she was prepared to take Hugh, soothe him a bit, then gently chide Canas before getting him some tea so he could relax.

But she was wrong. Horribly wrong.

After the shock had subsided and the anger began to pound in her head, the words left her mouth without the mind to censor them:

"What the hell are you doing to my son?"

She thought her voice must've been too quiet, as she could barely hear herself over the incessant thud of her heartbeat in her ears and Hugh's frightened crying, but then Lady Niime stopped whatever magic she was casting and Canas picked up the baby. The fact that this was the order of events did not make Lily any less angry, because if it had been her Hugh would've been in her arms the moment he showed signs of distress from whatever it was Lady Niime was doing.

_Why is she doing that? What is she doing?_

"Hm, your son is more sensitive than I thought. He shouldn't have reacted so fiercely over a simple hex," Lady Niime said in a tone altogether too calm at the moment for Lily's tastes. It was the kind of tone Rosliand used to use when Lily had been training as a guardian; detached, uncaring, 'it was a mistake but oh well, you'll live.' 

" 'Hex'?" Lily asked, her voice strained, nearly frantic. "Why are you casting hexes on my son?"

Glancing at her, Lady Niime looked as dry and bland as her tone as she steepled her hands under her chin. "I was attempting to acquaint the child to his inner darkness so that he might learn to accept it better."

_What child has darkness?_ "And why does he need to do that?" she demanded.

"Ah, Lily--" her husband started before Lily raised her hand in his direction, her eyes not leaving Lady Niime's face. She didn't have the patience to deal with an explanation dotted with stuttering and apologies at the moment. 

Some unknown expression flickered across Lady Niime's face, which Lily noted but couldn't bring it in herself to care. From what little--very little--Canas had told her about his past, Lily didn't think Lady Niime had any right to criticize. "I intend to make my grandson my heir."

Lily stared, uncomprehending. "Your...heir."

"Mm, exactly. He has quite the potential for magic. In all my years, I've never seen a child with such sensitivity."

The anger that had been building inside Lily dwindled; shock replaced it. "Hugh is capable of magic?"

Lady Niime stared at her. "As his mother, you should have noticed it. Canas did, after all." The look aimed at Lily was cold, appraising. "But then again, you are busy with other matters, I've noticed."

"Matters important to the village," Lily said, bristling at the insinuation. The irritation she felt helped her snap out of her shock, and she instantly focused on the one thing that really bothered her. "What is this talk of Hugh being your heir? Canas is the successor to your line, I know that, but Hugh is still just a baby."

"My son hasn't told you?" Lady Niime asked, arching an eyebrow as she glanced at Canas. "He's known of my intentions for months now."

It was as if her stomach had dropped straight to the floor. The idea that her husband was hiding things about their son, very important things, was something she had never considered--and now he had been doing it for _months_? Her jaw set, Lily stared into the other woman's eyes. "No."

"Pardon?" The subtle shift in Lady Niime's posture made Lily pause, wary. But then the older woman settled just enough that Lily felt less anxious, though she was still tense.

"I wasn't told about any of this. Since I'm sure I have a say in what happens to my son, this...whatever this is, is done." Lily crossed her arms, tried to affect a sort of strength that she didn't feel. It was hard to when her husband's mother was staring at her as if she were inconsequential.

Lady Niime shook her head, sighing as she pulled her head scarf over more of her hair. "I am sorry to hear that. As my grandson has inherited a great deal of power, he will need to learn how to control it at an early age." Her smile was thin. "And with the apparent fear he has for even the smallest bit of darkness, this is a crucial period for him, before he settles into some undesirable habits."

Disgust crept up inside of Lily as she exclaimed, "But he's _one_!"

"Exactly." Lady Niime stood, arranging her shawl as she reached for her walking stick. "And I must leave now. I hope to continue my grandson's training the next time I visit." With that, Lady Niime left, smiling as she passed by Lily, who nodded in return and held the door open for the elderly woman. After she closed the door behind Lady Niime, Lily sat down in the seat the woman had left and faced her husband. 

"Canas?"

That was all she trusted herself to say.

He raised his head to look at her, and her breath caught in her throat. His expression was that of regret; the urge she felt was to respond with empathy and kindness, just as if he were one of her patients. However, the sense of betrayal she felt was too fresh, too _there_, and so she only stared back.

"I..." Here he took a breath, adjusting his hold on their son. "I deeply apologize for my actions. I..." He sighed and returned his attention to Hugh, who had managed to cry himself to sleep. "I don't know what to say." 

"I just want to know why," she said, her voice taut and trembling and nothing like her own. "Why didn't you tell me any of this?"

_We talk about everything. The day's events, our hopes and dreams, discussions about what he's learning and about the village, and Hugh...until now. Why? What changed?_

He didn't look at her. He wouldn't look at her. It felt like he was trying to avoid her, and that hurt the most. What did he think about her that would make him act like this, like he didn't think she needed to know the truth? She tried to ignore the feeling that it was somehow her fault and tried to concentrate on the fact that it was his fault, he was the one who didn't even have the courtesy to tell her anything! 

But this was her husband. This was _Canas_. He didn't have any common sense, but he wouldn't deliberately betray her trust. He trusted her, didn't he? She had trusted him more than anything. She'd tried so hard to make sure they were both comfortable and happy. So why did he go behind her back? Why was he making decisions with his mother about Hugh without even telling her?

Canas had his faults, but dishonesty wasn't one of them. There had to be a reason, she told herself.

_There has to be._

"I should have told you, but I...at first I..." Finally, he looked up, looked right at her, his expression troubled, regret clear on his face. "I required some time to myself. What I discovered was that...well, Hugh is frightened of elder magic tomes." 

_He didn't tell me this because of that? I...what?_ She dragged her fingers through her loose hair, from the roots until the ends, and still failed to understand. "What is your point?" she asked, confused and irritated because of it.

"Well, that would imply that he is...ah, incapable of learning the ways of elder magic." 

She held up a hand, dark thoughts beginning to fester in her mind. "So, what your mother was doing to Hugh, that, that _thing_ that scared him so much...you let her do it because you want Hugh to become a shaman? So he can become your _heir_?"

"Ah, that is to say...she only mentioned making Hugh her heir once, but I have had no particular inclination for or against it," he said, shifting in obvious discomfort. "What I am interested in is her claim that her hexes will cure Hugh's fear." 

"And that makes it all right?" Lily asked, clenching her hands as she grew angrier. _He sounds so reasonable because he's had time to think about all this, time that he didn't have the consideration to give me!_ "Where in your mind does it sound like a good idea to start torturing your son so he can learn dark magic? Where?"

His eyes widened. "It-it isn't torture! I hadn't even know that Hugh would react that way until today. You must believe me, perhaps it was the nature of that particular hex, but elder magic isn't inherently evil." He was pleading with her as if she hadn't walked in and seen Hugh wailing his head off while that thick brackish aura smothered him, as if she could pretend that it was a perfectly normal thing to do to your son if he wasn't growing the way some people wanted. "I don't particularly care for my mother's decision, but if it could help him--" 

"If it could help him what?" Lily leaned forward, palms on the table. "I am an anima user, Canas! You married me _because_ I'm an anima user! Did it never occur to you that maybe the one thing Hugh took after me was my ability to use anima magic?"

Canas closed his eyes. "Of course it did." 

"Then why all this?" She swept an arm over the table. "Why force our son to become something he may not be equipped for? I know you respect anima magic, so why?"

"Pardon me, but...it isn't forcing. Mother is only attempting to bridge an awareness between Hugh and his potential for darkness." He opened his eyes, but Lily couldn't see anything there that made her think he was going to listen to her. "Although I do not know much about the hexes, I can tell you that in my family the study of elder magic is everything from a young age. This...is just an extreme case."

"And you couldn't you even consult with me first before you let your mother do this," Lily stated, her anger and indignation fading away. All that was left behind was that first, most raw hurt--_he couldn't even tell me. Hugh is our son, but Canas made the decision without telling me a thing._

A flicker of regret crossed his face. "My mother was insistent. I...I should have resisted, but it has always been...er, rather difficult to challenge her once her mind is set. And...I wanted to see for myself if it could be done." 

She couldn't listen to this anymore. Lily stood, the need to get away impossible to resist. "It's that important to you. Well, I'd better not stop you then. After all, you'll just do it behind my back, won't you?" Pointing at him, she ignored his protests. "I'm going to be there, Canas. Every time your mother is here, I'm going to watch what she does to our son."

Canas nodded, his expression clouded. "That is more than fine. However, my mother--"

"Will have to agree. She may be your mother, but _I_ am Hugh's mother," Lily said, walking up to him. She held out her arms. "I'll put him in our room, if you don't mind."

"Yes, of course." After handing her their son, Canas reached out and touched her hand. "Lily, please understand, I never meant to have everything revealed to you in this manner. I realize that this may be unforgivable, but I sincerely apologize." 

She looked at him, really looked at him, and knew he was telling the truth. He was her sweet, kind husband, of course he was telling the truth. And yet, she could also remember how unsettled he had been in the last week or so, how she had eventually thought that fatherhood was wearing down on him and maybe he missed the times when it was just the two of them and yes, she too missed those times and wasn't it nice to be wanted?

_But he wasn't thinking of that_, she realized. _That whole time, he was probably nervous about me finding out about our son. I was thinking about how nice it was to be wanted and how great our marriage was, but he wasn't thinking about that at all. He wasn't..._

His expression looked stricken, and she thought she knew why--her vision was blurry with tears. 

-0-

Every flinch, every twitch of her mouth, every time Lily clutched at her lap and twisted her dress in her hands as Hugh cried from the effects of the hexes only deepened Canas' guilt. 

He wanted to do something, anything, but he could not seem to take that first step, to rise up and take control of the situation. What could he do? He was the one who had petitioned his wife to allow his mother to continue Hugh's treatment. Did he then have the right to wish he had never done so, even as he allowed it to continue?

Was seeing Hugh as a shaman going to be worth it?

"Why are you allowing this to continue?" he asked her after his mother left and Lily was attempting to soothe their son. It had been two weeks since Hugh's first treatment, and his mother had proven unsuccessful once again. "I know that you disapprove, and, ah..."

She looked at him, annoyance clear on her face as she attempted to calm Hugh down. "Do you think that I'm just going to yell and scream and try to force you and your mother to think my way? When I did that, I was called 'overemotional.'" For a moment, Canas had no idea what she was referring to until he remembered the aftermath of the attack on Corinth nearly two years ago, and how Lily had stood by what she had believed was right. Even though Lady Yunice had stood her ground, Lily's emotional plea had convinced others to act.

As he looked at Lily now, he was unable to see that strength of hers, the light of moral conviction in her eyes. All he could see was that under her eyes there were dark circles, made even worse by the pallor of her skin; Hugh was not sleeping through the night, and Lily tried to capitalize on the late summer weather by working more during the day. She now had Rachel to assist her in her work as an herbalist, but Rachel was still only learning the trade. Between that, and the anxiety he knew she felt when his mother visited, it was obvious to him that Lily was highly stressed.

_Is this what I've done to her?_

"Ah...Lily, if you want, I will ask my mother to stop," he suggested two weeks later, after another unsuccessful attempt to cure Hugh of his fear. Lily was working more as of late, and Canas had begun to realize that she was making her curatives not because they were needed in the village, but rather as a means of escape. There was the matter of actually convincing his mother, as well as assuaging his own disappointment, but for Lily's sake it was the least he could do. 

"Don't say that as if you were doing me a favor," she snapped, surprising him. "You're the one who wanted this. If you want your mother to stop hexing our son, then we'll approach her together and inform her of our decision. Is that what you want?"

He said nothing, he could not say a thing, and knowing that only made his guilt grow.

Although she did not have the same soul-piercing stare as his mother or Rosliand, the look she was giving him felt even worse. It was as if she was judging him, and she had found him wanting. "Canas, I am not your shield. I am not going to protect you from your decisions. When you ask me why I'm letting this continue, it angers me because you never even gave me the choice to decide if I wanted this in the first place. And now this...I want us to be united in our decisions about Hugh. I don't like this, but I also don't like the idea that I emotionally manipulated you into making a decision to please me. I am not that kind of woman."

"I...I apologize," he said, disturbed that she assumed he had thought so little of her. "I never meant to imply such a thing. It is just...you are always so confident and sure about what you want. I..." He smiled at her, attempting to draw out the loving, compassionate woman that was the core of who Lily was. "I truly believe you are a strong woman."

The smile she wore was unlike what he was normally used to seeing on her face. It was small and delicate, so different from the ones that were accompanied by a flash of her teeth or a cute giggle or the glow of her eyes. Reaching up, she touched his face, her palm pressed against the corner of his lips. "You're strong too, when you want to be. Don't ever ask me why I don't interfere with your decisions, because you should know by now that we are equals. You bear the same amount of responsibility over Hugh that I do, and you always have." She lowered her hand and he wanted to reach out and hold her hand, anything to keep that spark of connection still alive between them.

Every now and then throughout the years, he had noticed that there was a connection between them. It was present in all their conversations, in their smiles, when they held hands, even in just a shared look. He had become so used to it that it felt as if they had always been that close.

When she turned around and walked away, murmuring comforting words to their son, he began to realize just how much he had taken for granted.

It depressed him. Once, he had desired so strongly to marry Lily that he even defied his mother to do so. Now, because of what he wanted of their son (was it wrong to want his son to have the chance to follow his path, just the _chance_? he wondered), he was hurting his wife, his marriage, and potentially his son while following his mother's wishes.

A chance. Would Hugh appreciate it when he grew up? Would he remember the abject fear he had felt while his grandmother performed numerous hexes to prepare him, or would he believe that he was destined to become a practitioner of elder magic? 

Or was he an anima user through and through, nothing else...and Lily had been right in calling it 'torture'?"

"If I may ask, Mother," Canas began to inquire a month later, when the Festival of the Ice Dragon and his birth affinity were weeks away. Before his mother had arrived, Lily had taken Hugh out to play and hadn't returned, which his mother had commented about but otherwise did not seem bothered. "What made you decide to raise my brothers and myself as shamans?"

She frowned at him before she lifted her cup to her lips. "Decide? I did no such thing."

Blinking in confusion, he tried to reconcile her words with the mother who had made her sons study elder magic on a daily basis, the mother who had hounded him when he used his journey to study a wide range of subjects that did not include elder magic, and failed rather spectacularly. "Ah...then it was Father's doing?" he inquired.

That earned him a glare. "There was no need to decide because that is the way of our family. It is tradition, something you scorned when you deliberately defied me in order to dabble in your anima and light magic studies, never mind your choice of wife."

_But I am a shaman now_, he thought. _Even if it had taken me years of avoiding that path, I still decided to walk it in the end. It was fear of the unknown that had played upon me, and while I am occasionally anxious, I no longer fear elder magic for what it is anymore. But Mother had never felt the need to perform her hexes on me._

A prelude to an epiphany, a pinprick of light, appeared in his mind: _The difference between myself and Hugh is that I come from a pure line of shaman users. Is this Mother's contingency plan?_

"I thought you liked Lily," he said, unsure of what to think. Realization dawned upon him. 

_Is that why you had relented so quickly, Mother? Because you already knew you could use your hexes to mold Hugh into what you want?_

"She is an interesting young woman, and her bloodline is formidable. What she lacks in power she more than makes up in sheer skill. Had she been a shaman, I would have arranged the marriage before it was even an idea in your mind." She took another sip of tea, then set down her cup. "That being said, her being an anima user changed quite a few things. The only reason why I did not protest was because you can be maddeningly stubborn and inconsiderate when you choose to be, and I knew my wishes rarely meant anything to you." 

He said nothing. The conversation was leaning towards very familiar paths, ones he did not wish to revisit.

"But then, you were always selfish. Even as a child, you would simply refuse to do anything you disliked. It was my greatest failure as a parent to allow you to carry your selfishness into adulthood." She looked at him as if she were considering something, then continued with, "You float throughout life, rarely making a decision with any real impact. Your ambivalence is maddening."

_Selfish?_ he wondered. "I...well, I have thought of myself, that is true, but I do not disregard others."

Privately, though, he was unsure. 

"You also seem to have little self-awareness," his mother noted. "I wonder, since your wife now only speaks to me when she is forced to, what she thinks of what we are doing for Hugh."

_We?_ "Ah...as might be expected, she dislikes it."

Shaking her head, his mother reached for her staff, which was propped up beside her. "I do feel sorry for her. This is necessary, but as a mother I empathize with her." She looked at him. "Tell me, if you were in my place, would you stop? Knowing that our bloodline may certainly end, would you stop for the sake of one woman? Or would you continue, knowing that if it were not this child, it would certainly have to be the next?" 

Canas said nothing. He could not say a thing, because he was not allowing this to continue for the sake of the bloodline. Lily too was the last of her family, but something stopped him from voicing that fact.

All he wanted was to give Hugh a chance.

His mother began to make her way towards the door, and he rose to open it for her. When she was next to him, she glanced up and caught his eye. "It is much better for all of us if I continued," she told him, then left. He closed the door behind her, made his way back to his seat, and took off his monocle so that he could properly cover his face with his hands without smudging the glass.

_Is wanting to give Hugh a choice a product of my selfishness?_

-0-

Lily watched as Hugh played in the snow, making sure he didn't try to wander too far, though he seemed content to sit in one place and push around clumps of snow. He was bundled in enough layers of clothing, as well as little gloves, boots, and a knit cap, that she figured he couldn't move around very much anyway. Leaning against a rock a few feet from where he played, Lily watched him laugh as he smashed apart the pile he'd made, sending snow flying everywhere. When he was done, he was covered in bits of white. 

_He's happy now_, she thought, unable to indulge in his laughter. She could feel Lady Niime's presence in the village bearing down on her, suffocating and relentless. It had been two weeks since Lady Niime's last visit, and that meant Lily was obligated to bring her son back home so he could be tortured some more. But watching Hugh play, she found herself hoping that today Lady Niime would have some mercy and just go away.

"Hm. He is bigger than I remember." 

Glancing over to her right, she saw Rosliand walking down the mountain path. "The last time you saw him, he was just a baby," Lily replied, drawing her knees up to her chest. "I've seen all the other children in this village grow up, but I never realized how quickly until now."

With near-noiseless steps that seemed as if her friend was skimming above the snow, Rosliand came to stand beside her. "This scene is missing someone."

"He's with his mother." Lily could feel the other woman's eyes on her.

"A problem?"

_If there's anyone I can talk to, it's Rosliand. Tinae is too busy trying to make the quota for dried meat before winter, Kelial wouldn't understand, and Jorah and Mina are much too busy. _I'm_ too busy for this._ Lily chuckled wanly at her last thought. "There's not much to say. Canas and his mother want something different for Hugh than I do, and I've been going along with it for the last couple of months. But I..." She clasped her hands, rubbing the bandages on her left hand as she looked over at her son. "I hate it."

"Then why agree?" Rosliand asked. Lily could hear the slight confusion in the question and she laughed. It sounded harsh to her own ears, and yet also pathetic--somehow, she thought that was appropriate. 

"Honestly? I was so hurt and angry about Canas hiding things about our son and his mother's intentions that I just couldn't communicate how I felt. I didn't trust him, so it seemed better to watch what they were doing to Hugh than to say no and have Canas go behind my back." With a scowl, Lily slouched and rested her head against the rock. The sky was gray; it fit with how she felt. "When I was still pregnant with Hugh, Lady Niime moved in. I suppose I got along with her, and she did help me, but sometimes I had this feeling. It was as if what she really cared about wasn't me, but my child." She looked over at Rosliand, who had no expression on her face. "I was right."

Running a hand through her short hair, Rosliand nodded. "And Canas feels the same?"

"Canas believes Hugh deserves a chance to become a shaman. He keeps talking about choices and chances when he's not asking me why I'm still 'allowing this to happen' because it's obvious I hate it," Lily said. "And it sounds reasonable, it really does, but I don't understand why he wants to force the choice on Hugh now, when Hugh can't understand it beyond seeing that his father and his grandmother are hurting him."

"He might have a good point. If you hate it so much, why are you allowing it to continue?"

"As much as I want to fight back, it's just going to be a waste of effort if Canas won't stand with me," Lily admitted. "Remember what happened after Cione came here with her ideas about rebellion? When everyone was taking sides and turning against each other? It's like that, except this time it's family."

_And I'm like Cione to them_, she thought, disturbed.

Rosliand wrinkled her nose. "It will be ugly." 

"It will be," Lily agreed. Sitting up, she saw that Hugh was now standing and making a pile that was half his height. "And even if I win now, what will happen if I have another child? Will I have to go through this again?"

_I won't_, she promised herself. _This is too much._

Sensitive to the spirits as she was, Lily could tell something was off when the omnipresent chatter of the spirits disappeared. Panic raced through her as she rose to her feet; it was as if her connection to all the spirits of Ilia, the countless number of souls that inhabited their homeland, was cut off without even a whisper lingering behind. "Hugh, come here!" she called, trying to keep calm. After looking at her, Hugh began to toddle his way to her as she walked over to him in long strides; when he fell over, she picked him up and held him to her chest with her left hand supporting him, her right hand raised and ready to cast a spell. With her peripheral vision, she could see Rosliand standing beside her, sword out and gleaming silver under the cloudy skies. 

A miasma of energy leaked through her senses, blinding her from Seeing. Hugh began to fidget, but all Lily could do was hold him tighter. Her heart pounded in her chest, and all she could think was _get ready get ready get ready--_

A pillar of light flashed before them, which forced Lily to turn her head and shut her eyes. Dots of searing light floated behind her eyelids, making her feel dizzy. When they finally began to clear, she raised her head, then glowered in disgust. "Lady Niime," she said, wrapping her other arm around her wriggling son. "Why did you do that?" 

_I knew she was powerful, but she completely suppressed my ability to sense magic just by expanding her aura. Even with the disadvantage anima has with dark magic, the difference between us is frightening..._

Lady Niime seemed to ignore her, instead staring at Rosliand. "Young lady, I suggest you put your sword down before someone gets hurt," she said in a tone that made Lily bristle. _Was that a threat?_ Lily couldn't help but wonder.

"I don't leave myself unguarded around enemies," Rosliand stated, her tone like ice. 

"Very well." Lady Niime glanced at Lily. "You wasted my time today. In the future, I expect you to be more considerate."

"Hugh was playing," Lily said. Frustration built up inside of her; frustration, and a creeping sense of fear.

"My grandson can play at any other time. This is important." After a short pause, Lady Niime shook her head. "Besides, he should be getting an education soon, instead of wasting time in the snow. Shamans are known for their knowledge, and Hugh will be no different."

Any control Lily had over her growing temper was beginning to fray like an old rope. "Hugh is a child, and I will not deny him his childhood for the sake of your desires," she said, her voice trembling in anger. "So don't tell me how to raise my son."

"Certainly not." Turning around, Lady Niime bowed her head. "I expect to spend time with my grandson the next time I visit. Close your eyes," and even as she said that, her body disappeared in another brilliant flash of light.

It was silent in the clearing after Lady Niime left. Lily heard Rosliand slide her sword back into her scabbard. "Unpleasant woman," Rosliand commented mildly. "Lily?"

_I'm completely overshadowed by her_, Lily realized. _Even if I try to resist, she will simply overwhelm me and do as she likes. I don't matter at all..._

"Lily?" There was a tug on her sleeve, then the feeling of her arm being shaken, and yet... 

_And Canas thought I could do something? He either has too much faith in me, or he was just curious. But there's nothing I can do. It's like Iris all over again._

Calmly, Lily turned to Rosliand. "I can't protect him. I can't protect Hugh." 

_In that family of dark magic users, I don't matter at all._

-to be continued-

I'm sick right now. Apologies if there are more errors than usual; I'm tired of missing my deadline at this point. 

I always knew that the last half of the third arc would be the most difficult to write. A lot of this is based on the characters themselves, because we've seen how they are during the best and the most trying of times, and they do all right. But in the worst of times, their bad traits become more pronounced and even good people become unlikeable. That's what makes a realistic story, right? But it's still emotionally draining. Of course, comments and questions are always appreciated--even moreso because I want to know how this is coming across to everybody!


	33. Untangled

Shadows Under the Oak Tree

(C) Intelligent Systems and Nintendo

-0-

33. Untangled  
(_It will be okay._)

Inside Rosliand's home, Canas shared a pot of a strange, exotic beverage with her in a silence that was barren of hospitality. With reluctance, he picked up his cup, took a sip, and forced himself to swallow the bitter, fragrant liquid. Placing the cup down, he tried to smile at her, hoping she would smile back in acknowledgment of his accomplishment. Instead, she merely arched an eyebrow, all the while continuing to taking dainty sips of the strange, bitter drink. 

Suppressing a sigh, Canas gave up all pretense that this was a happy meeting between friends. He had already known it was not, considering that her demeanor at the time of the invitation all but demanded that he accept, but these days he supposed he could not help but long for something pleasant in his life. "If I may ask, what is the reason for my visit?" he queried.

"Because you are a fool."

"Ah," he replied. That particular situation. Nothing else he had done recently, or even in his life, warranted an immediate response from him. Yes, he understood he was a fool.

But he had no idea how to change that into something positive.

"You all are fools. The only one with any sense is the child."

That surprised him, and he could not help but say as much: "Er, I thought you were loyal to Lily."

A tilt of her head, a narrowing of her eyes, and Canas could not help but lean back in his seat, suddenly very nervous. "What makes you say that?" she asked.

"I...ah, throughout the years, I've observed..." _That isn't quite what she asked, is it?_ he fretted as he took in her expression; her face was like a still pool of water, without even a ripple of emotion. He knew she did not have many expressions, with most of them conveying levels of danger due to her dark eyes, but this one in particular frightened him. It told him he was on very thin ice. "You've never said an unkind word about Lily, so I...er, that is...was surprised..." Each word that he dragged out of his mouth and into the open air of Rosliand's house made him feel that he was marching towards the executioner.

"Oh." Rosliand nodded, strands of hair falling into her face. It made her look softer, and Canas was able to relax. "Yes. Everyone has good and bad traits. She's no different." 

_Yes, that certainly is true_, he thought, _feeling guilty. Not just her, but myself as well. At any other time it would be all right, but for the sake of our son..._

"Stop that." 

"Pardon?"

"You are throwing yourself into the water and letting yourself sink. That corpselike look doesn't suit you."

_Corpselike look?_ "Excuse me?" Sometimes, he wished she would not omit the words crucial to his comprehension; at the moment, he did not much like trying to parse what she had said into something understandable.

Rosliand brought her hand to her face, slender fingers pinching the bridge of her nose. Her eyes were closed as she said, "Stop thinking that way. It only leads to stupidity." 

Amazed at her comment (she had always been frightfully observant, but this was something else entirely, he realized), he ventured forth a bit further. "What am I thinking about?"

"The child."

_She truly is a mind-reader, I see._ He nodded, lowering his gaze from his friend's face to the cup set before him. "That is true. However, it can't be helped. Hugh is...precious to us all."

So precious, he knew. Even in the kingdoms of Etruria and Bern, a first-born son to a king could not be nearly as loved and wanted; the feelings he, his mother, and Lily shared could not be surpassed. 

"Of course he is," she said, and it was not her words, but her tone that struck him. When he looked up at her, surprised at her insincerity, he was further stunned by the anger displayed in her drawn brows and flat gaze. "Is he worth your weight in gold?"

"I...I don't understand?"

"A Union saying. Nothing is more precious than gold to us. Is he more precious than you? Obviously I don't need to ask about Lily."

It took him a moment to comprehend the meaning of her words, but when he did it felt like that time years ago, when she had slapped him in order to break him from his shock. "That's unfair!" he exclaimed, hurt and unable to hide it. The idea, the very glimmer of the thought that the feelings he held for his wife could be so callously assumed, hurt on its own merit. That he had given just cause for such an examination and knew it, that was something else entirely.

"Maybe," Rosliand said with the slightest shrug of her shoulders, "but that is what I see."

Still hurt, Canas shook his head "Please, Rosliand, you must understand. I did not have any intention of hurting her. I wish I had done things differently--I should have, but I didn't. I only wish to move past this."

"What are you going to do?" she asked, her gaze all but penetrating him in its intensity.

"Ah, well...what should I do?" he could not help but inquire. At this point, it seemed much more prudent to seek another's advice than follow his instincts, such as they were.

"Who do you side with?"

Canas stared at Rosliand, surprised by such a question. "Between my mother and my wife? Why, neither." While he employed the use of his mother's hexes to further his goal for Hugh, he had no intention of forcing his son to do anything for the sake of tradition. And Lily was against elder magic, so he could not agree with her. Although, now that he thought about it, he was unsure what Lily wanted for their son. With the stress that had befallen their home over the last couple of months, communication was strained and uncomfortable to engage in, so he had learned to leave it be.

Between his mother and his wife, how _could_ he choose?

"Set up a compromise," she stated. 

_If only such a thing was easily done_, he thought. "My mother does not compromise. Even when it seems to be the best option, she would rather refuse and do as she pleases." Clasping his hands in his lap, a nervous smile twitched on his lips as he looked away from his friend. "It is much easier to do as she says, or to at least not oppose her in an overt manner."

Rosliand nodded. "I understand you now." 

"Truly?"

"Yes. You like being pushed around by strong women."

There was absolutely nothing Canas could say to that. He only stared at Rosliand, his mouth slightly open. She smirked in return, though he thought that her eyes remained devoid of emotion. "It's only natural. You married an Ilian woman. But, you seem unwilling to do anything." She tilted her head, sweeping away the hair that fell into her face. "You live an easy life."

"...I suppose so," he agreed.

"There's only one solution."

"What is it?"

"Leave."

He stared at her, uncomprehending that single word. Did Rosliand think his situation was hopeless and no longer wanted to be bothered with it? "Forgive me for burdening you with my problems," he said, distressed. She shrugged.

"They are not just your problems. I suggest Ostia. Their winters are mild."

Ostia? The realization that she wished for him to leave the village was a blow unlike any other. After so many years, he had finally found a place that felt like a home. He had been a wanderer, a seeker of knowledge who had crossed many borders on his journey, a restless scholar who had enjoyed the comfort of temporary shelters and little more. Finding such a quaint hamlet like Corinth, a place where he could whittle away the days studying and teaching, where he had found a wife of like-minded attitude and was even able to start a family of his own, had been far more than he had ever expected. He was truly happy here, in the mountain hinterlands of Ilia.

And now the only path left to him was to leave?

"But why?" he asked.

"There's nothing you can do. Or, there's nothing you're willing to do. Lily is hindered by your presence. Lily is..." Here, Rosliand waved her hand in dismissal. "I am an orphan, but I understand that you are held back by familial ties. The support you give to your mother's cause, no matter how implicit, weakens Lily. No one supports her other than outsiders to your family, so she is alone. She sees you on your mother's side, and she loses hope. All she can do is give in. You may think it best to lie submissive, but that was never her way. The last time she did so, it was the death of her dreams.

"Throughout the years, I have met many cruel people," she continued. A feeling he could not name trembled inside of him as he watched her stand and begin to pace. "Murderers, bandits, nobles, all sorts of people who longed to see their victims suffer. I have heard a story that happened earlier this year, about a Sacaean man who was enchanted by a possessed sword. He slaughtered a group of bandits in Caeolis, at the Ilia-Sacae border. The villagers called him savior, but I have heard of him by another name: the Sword Demon, a man who seeks blood above all. Even I have given up mercy, and now many of the Union call me dishonorable for it. But this is cruelty on a level even I'm not familiar with."

She pointed at him, her dark eyes devoid of emotion. "What are you doing, Canas? You're supposed to be kind. Is it kindness not to do anything at all? Is it enough for you to watch life pass by and never make a decision for the good of your family?"

With each sentence, he retreated further into himself. Hands wrapped themselves around wrists as he watched his friend move, as each word was pushed into his ear whether he wanted to listen to them or not. At the end of her final question, all he could say, all he could defend himself with, were undecorated words that admitted his weakness.

"Rosliand, I don't know what to do."

Her face, so hard and distinct in its angles, seemed to soften as she walked up to him. Holding out a hand, she said, "That's all right. It is not a crime to not know, so long as you go forward. Not doing anything is far worse."

_I wonder how true that is. To not know, to act without knowledge...how can a person live that way?_

"...I see." Even as he said that, doubts still clouded his mind. As much as he wanted to do something, he did not know what he could do. His mother, his wife, a compromise...could it be done? Or decisively choosing a path for the sake of Hugh... "I will try," he promised, placing his hand in hers and rising to his feet. 

He would try.

-0-

_I hate this._

Lily entered the sitting room, where Hugh was sitting on Canas' lap as his father read to him in a soft, moderate voice. It wasn't until after she reached the door and pulled down her cloak from where it hung that the reading stopped. "Ah, Lily. Are you going out?" her husband asked. 

"Yes, to Tinae's," she answered as she fastened her cloak and smoothed out the wrinkles. "I'll bring back lunch."

"I'll look forward to it." The response was polite--the rule of their interactions ever since she'd given up--and so she thought nothing of it until her hand was on the doorknob and he said, in a hesitant voice, "Lily?"

"Hm?" She looked over at father and son, nearly identical in appearance, and felt how strange and different she must look from them.

_But of course, I was always different._

On Canas' face there was an odd expression, hesitance and something like need in the way he looked at her with his lips slightly parted but not saying anything. They stared at each other for a long moment before he looked away and began adjusting his monocle. "No...forgive me, it's nothing." 

"All right," she replied, faintly disturbed but unwilling to figure out why. Waving at her son, who stared at her until something seemed to light up in his eyes and he began waving back enthusiastically, she left the house and began feeling better as the spirits swooped around her like long lost friends. They cradled her and cooed in her ears, stroking her unbound hair as affectionately as her mother used to do. The comfort the spirits of Ilia, spirits of ice and snow, of wind and those who left their bodies in foreign countries, became something she craved because it was there, always there, free and available so long as she had the magic to reach them.

Magic. It was so beautiful, and yet so destructive. She could kill with it, but by all the spirits in the land, she had no idea it could tear through families without even an invocation.

Two weeks ago, after Lady Niime swooped in and overwhelmed her with the force of magic and personality, Lily gave up and gave in. It didn't matter what she thought, and it really didn't matter what she said; all the force she could've exerted would've been just an icy chill. Bundle up in arguments of traditions that weren't her own, of rational discussions about forced choices dressed up as equality, and everything she could muster up was a discomfort at most. It was so much more peaceful to simply smile and excuse herself when Lady Niime came over, to work on medicines in her workroom while her son wailed, to see without seeing, to hear without hearing. After all, she was just an overemotional woman, just a nuisance really. Things were far more pleasant in her house now that she knew her place in the family.

She scowled. _Ugh, something has got to change. I'm starting to believe that stupid drivel._

After hitting Tinae's front door harder than necessary, she entered the house. "Hello--" she started to say, then stopped. 

With the Festival of the Ice Dragon starting the next day, it meant that everyone--except for Kelial--was cleaning their homes in preparation. Lily managed to finish cleaning last week, more because she was celebrating the fact that Lady Niime thought the practice of holding a celebration for a dragon, even one as kind as Ilia's Ice Dragon, was foolish and intended to stay away. Most of the villagers finished about a day before the start of the festival month.

That was usually the day Tinae and her family would start.

As Lily picked up a pile of cloaks strewn around the entranceway, as well as a broken hook that had been attached to the door, Sami ran into the sitting room. "Mom, it's Auntie Lily!" she yelled in the direction she had just come from, then jumped over a stack of firewood--the fact that the furniture had been shifted into new and odd positions in the room explained why the only place for the firewood was in the path leading to the bedrooms--and held out a straw doll. Judging by the style of clothing it wore, Rian had picked it up in Sacae. "Look, look," Sami commanded, bouncing from one foot to the other, "Dad found the doll Rian got for me the last last time he went to Sacae. I told him I never took it outside, but he's a meanie-head and he said that I must've but I didn't!"

_I wonder if Hugh will be allowed to be this lively?_ Lily thought, then flinched as her mind wandered down the same dark paths it had been exploring for the last two weeks. Masking the onset of depression with a smile, she knelt down and patted the girl's head. "It's very cute. I like its hair."

Sami smiled. "Sacaeans have green hair. Auntie, are you part-Sacaean?" 

"No," Lily said with a giggle, "I've got a bit of Lycian blood through my mother's father, but my heart and soul are completely Ilian."

"Lily!" Tinae burst into the sitting room, bits of dust as obvious in her hair as stars at night. "Sami, your brother wants you to know that he's not a meanie-head."

The girl spun around, her hair flying behind her. "But Mom, he is! He called me a liar!"

Getting up, Lily put the cloaks and hook on the back of one of the couches. She returned her attention to the others when she heard Tinae mutter, "That's not very nice." With some trepidation, Lily watched as Tinae padded towards the bedroom hallway. "Rian, your sister--hey you two, get your own house before doing things like that!"

There was an outraged cry (Rian), a startled gasp (Lily wasn't sure who that was), and loud laughter (Valan, and Lily thought it was nice that his cough seemed to have cleared). Tinae grinned like she had plenty of sharp teeth to show off. "Good enough, Sami?" she asked, and her daughter nodded.

"Rian found someone new?" Lily couldn't help but ask. Tinae shook her head.

"No, he made up with Mynthia."

She knew she should be happy, but Lily only remembered the days when Rian was dealing badly with the apparent end of his relationship while hers had really begun to bloom. It was either ironic or just the kind of coincidence that hit like an iceball to the face, but either way Lily didn't appreciate it. She was so unappreciative, in fact, that she almost wanted to be the guardian again just to take out her lack of appreciation on a bandit or three, and that was a mindset that scared her to have.

"Sami, finish up in your room, and go tell your dad that I'm out with Lily," she heard Tinae say before the older woman stepped over the logs and walked up to her. "We'll be back soon."

"Bye, Sami," Lily said, smiling as the girl returned the farewell before scampering off. She followed Tinae out the door and into the snow, the two of them walking in a companionable silence. It was nice to walk with the spirits, but there was something about walking with a friend that was so much better.

She remembered walking with Canas like this, except that he would start talking about something he had read in one book or another, which led to discussions about some stupidly complex theorem that she had no reason to understand but he would still listen to her ideas like they really mattered. And then she would notice his ears turning red from the cold, comment on the weather, and they would go home to further debate over tea.

_I miss those days_, she thought, smiling at the ground as her boots crunched into the snow. _I really miss that...that me, and that him, and that us._

After some time, they had meandered to the grove of oaks. Their leaves were already a deep stain of red, and Lily thought they would look lovelier if they didn't remind her of blood. 

"Hey, help me get up there," Tinae said, pointing at the lowest branch. It was a good few feet above Lily, who sighed.

"This sort of thing is for kids, isn't it?" Even as she said that, Lily was already linking her hands together in a foothold. After Tinae put her foot there, Lily began to count out loud, and when she said 'three' she flung her hands up with all the force she could muster as Tinae jumped, just managing to catch hold of the lowest branch with one hand. After several agonizing moments of watching her friend swing around and curse, Lily clapped when Tinae finally sat on top of the branch.

Tinae flung some leaves down at her. "You're just mad because I'm finally taller than you."

"Temporarily."

"So what's wrong?"

Sighing, Lily walked over to the trunk of the tree and leaned against it. "Nothing, really."

More leaves fluttered downward. "I don't believe you. You're always so damn stubborn and you think you can do everything by yourself. That's what makes you so stupid."

"If something could be done, I would've done it by now!" Lily yelled, hitting the tree trunk with one fist. She sunk down onto the snow, her knees up to her chest as she wrapped her arms around her legs. "I'm used to fixing things, no matter what I have to give up for them."

_What is there to fix? Attitudes? Minds? Would it be better if everyone thought like me?_

"Wait! What's wrong?" Tinae called from her perch above, her voice pleading as Lily had only ever heard it once before-- 

_I don't understand. Where's Iris?_

--and never wanted to hear again. She never wanted to remember the only other time when she felt compelled to give up what mattered to her. Because of that time, her life had led to this moment, when all she could see was a lifetime of submission. Not just for herself, though it would be unbearable enough, but for her son as well. 

She didn't give him that name so that he could be fettered to a destiny he never chose.

Haltingly at first, Lily told Tinae about her ongoing problems with her husband and his mother. She talked about betrayal, and she talked about anger, and she talked about fear. She wondered aloud why Canas had never asked her what she had wanted, and confessed the secret fear she had, the nightmares of Lady Niime taking Hugh if she didn't comply.

"I know it sound stupid," she said, even though she wasn't sure if it was true, "but I can't help but feel that way."

Above her, she could hear Tinae cough. "When Rian was born, Valan and I fought all the time."

"You two?" Lily had seen the two of them together since she was small; they were a team on par with her own parents. 'Happy' couldn't even begin to describe them.

"Mm-hm, us too. We were young, sixteen or seventeen, and the three of us were doing well until we realized that our cute little son didn't act like he was looking out of both eyes right. Your father confirmed it." There were the sounds of Tinae shifting on her branch, then, "From the time I was pregnant, I wanted my child to be a great archer, better than me! Even after I heard about this, I still wanted Rian to be an archer, no matter what. Valan disagreed, so we fought."

It was silent for a while until Lily looked up, worried. "Tinae?"

"Sorry, just thinking. We were really vicious...eh, some things still hurt to remember, even now. But one day I was talking to your mother--I think you were studying magic, so you weren't here for this--and she looked me in the eye and asked me 'How much of this is really about the child?' And I remember staring at her, telling her that it was everything, of course! But she only stared at me and it made me so angry. 'How much of this is really about the child?'" Tinae laughed. "I should've known. My own parents left my baby sister to die in the snow just because they were too damned proud to have your mother nurse her, how much of that is about the child?"

"I don't know," said Lily, stunned. _Even after Mother has been gone for so long, she still gives me such good advice_, she thought. Love, not the superficial kind that the spirits offered but one with real weight, welled up inside of her.

"As parents, we say we're going to do everything for our children, and we raise them. We love them so much, right? But no matter what, we're going to put our own beliefs into them. We're going to make them into what we wanted to be, or what we are, or whatever. That's going to happen, no matter what, but most of the time we don't even think about that." 

Lily nodded. "I understand."

Some snow fell on Lily's shoulder and she looked up. Tinae was peering down at her. "Are you sure?" Tinae asked, concern plain on her face. It touched Lily, and she smiled.

"No, it's all right. You've given me a lot to think about."

_Too much_, Lily wanted to believe. _We've done so much to each other, but is it really for Hugh's sake or our own?_

-0-

"We need to talk." 

Those were the words Canas had intended to say for an entire week. He was going to say them during a quiet hour, preferably after Hugh was put to bed but before Lily retired for the night. The sitting room was ideal for his plan, because it was a neutral area. After asking for her patience, he was going to methodically discuss each of the main points he had written down--which he had done in order to not be led astray by unimportant details--and after each point he was going to ask her for her opinions on the matter. It was rather like the discussions he had attended in the academies during his early years in Etruria, although lacking a bit of their flair, and he had been working up his nerve to present this to her in a way that would not make her feel threatened and defensive from the beginning.

But those spoken words were Lily's, four simple words delivered in dulcet tones. When she said those words to him, the sinking feeling in his chest confirmed that all the preparation in the world meant nothing if it is perpetually held back.

"Y-yes, of course. I have been meaning to say the same thing," he said, ill at ease. A flicker of something he could not decipher crossed her face before she smiled at him.

"Oh, good. Let me just put Hugh to bed first." She turned to their son, who was sitting beside her while stacking some wooden blocks in the space between them. "Hugh, bedtime."

Hugh lifted his arms. "Mama up," he demanded. Canas had to smile when Lily raised an eyebrow before complying with their son, and after mother and son departed the room his anxiety welled up inside of him like the waves off the coast of Badon.

_What does Lily want to talk about? The current situation? Us? Oh..._ Taking out the notes he had planned to refer to, he found them to be well-ordered, logical points of nothing. They were now considered null and void, for who knew what Lily wanted to talk to him about?

What, indeed. He felt as if he had been tossed back to the days long past, when even her gestures confused him. 

By the time Lily returned, Canas felt as if his mind was in complete disarray. She was smiling and he envied her poise, her complete confidence in the face of adversity...most of the time. "First of all, I wanted to tell you that I'm happy we're the same age again. Um, but I don't have a present this year," she said as she sat down across from him.

His twenty-eighth cycle of life, and yet he felt much, much younger as he shook his head in embarrassment. "No, no, this is more than fine. My birthday is quite unimportant compared to the great tapestry of events and dates in history..."

"But you're important to me," she said, and he could not help but look at her in surprise. She ran both hands through her hair, looking at him as her fingers reached the ends. "Please don't look at me like I've never said that before."

"I...yes, you're right. My apologies." He reached for his monocle to give himself some breathing room in the conversation before he felt confident enough to offer a small smile. "You must admit that the last months have been, ah, trying..."

With her fingers tangling themselves in the ends of her hair, he thought she looked rather like a discontent child as she turned her face away from him. Her profile was not as striking as the way she twisted milky jade green locks around her hands as if she were playing with rope; it was obvious to him that she was nervous, and that made him feel a bit better. "Why don't you go first?"

"...No, you first, I insist." If she was indeed nervous, then he wanted to know why.

"All right. Thank you. I...I, um..." Suddenly she loosened her hands from her hair, which limply untwisted itself. "I don't know if this is going to work, I..."

In the space between one breath and the next, a horrible realization bloomed in his mind. "Lily?" he asked, wondering if she could hear the tremble in his voice as well as he could.

"My explanation," she said, now looking at him full-face. "I thought a lot about it, and trying to make it work for what I think is the real problem. But I'm going to try anyway, because it's all I have left." Cautious, he nodded, his fears slinking away, and she seemed relieved. "I'll try my best, but please bear with me. I was thinking about you, not as you are now, but who you were when you first came here. When I think about it, your confidence in dark magic grew while you were here. Remember? I wanted to help you understand it better, at least for your sake of mind."

"Yes, I remember." He remembered hot puddles and circles being drawn on his back, an elder magic user attempting to commune with the spirits, and he smiled at the memory.

"You were scared of it, weren't you?"

He thought about it, the nightmares of ice-jagged fangs and the cold of having his...his _soul_ being overwhelmed by the forces of elder magic. There were memories even deeper than that, ones of his brothers that he did not care to unearth, and so he only nodded.

"All along, you probably were scared. That's probably why you swung towards learning about everything else. At least you got a wife out of it, right?" She laughed, and after a moment he smiled. "But you grew stronger out of a desire to, well, I don't know if it was my dream of a green Ilia, but now you're a full-fledged shaman." 

"A novice, really," he protested. She shook her head.

"A shaman all the same. And, even though dark magic bothers me, I'm proud of your progress. You've really...hm." Clapping her hands, she shook her head as she rubbed her hands together as if she were cold. "You're different from what I had always imagined a shaman to be. You're so kind, and yet...it fits you. But, um...Hugh isn't you. Just like he isn't me. He isn't going to be either of us, or your mother.

"So, when you think about it, why are we trying to force our past experiences onto him?" she asked, and an answer was not immediately forthcoming inside of him. All he could do was listen to her and think about her words, while feelings of discomfort began to shift inside of his chest. She seemed similarly discomfited as she spread her hands apart, forming them into fists to lay in her lap as she said, "Tinae asked me how much about this was really about Hugh, and how much of it was about us, and...I'm embarrassed to say that, for me, most of it is about _me_. I was wondering if it's the same with you."

_Oh..._

He opened his mouth to respond, though he had nothing to say. How could he refute it? Ever since the day Hugh cried in terror at being presented the Flux tome, he had felt personally wronged. He had felt that Hugh deserved to have the chance to be a shaman, but in reality he wanted his son to take on his mantle, as it were, without none of the baggage that came with having seen all his elder brothers succumb to the magic as he had. 

_I would have accepted it if Hugh later became an anima user. But while he is still young, if it were possible to have him shift towards elder magic, I would have done it. I thought I was right in doing such a thing. But, to think of it, I was using Hugh as a conduit for my own feelings regarding elder magic._

_I still would like him to become a shaman, but I went too far._

"I was being selfish," he said, half in wonderment, half in despair. 

"If you were selfish, then we all were," she declared. "Because I was thinking more about how much I resented being pushed out of the picture, and then I thought that I didn't want Hugh to feel obligated to make a decision he can't understand or doesn't want, because I've done that and it took me a long time to come to terms with it." Now, she smirked. "Hell, I still have problems. We all love Hugh very much, so of course we all want what's best for him."

"But we only considered what was best for him through our own experiences, and..." Canas turned away. "I had thought you were acting on prejudiced beliefs and I truly wanted Hugh to follow in my footsteps, as it were..." He coughed, feeling somewhat sheepish to admit the next part. "Also, Mother is...odd about these sort of situations."

Lily scoffed. "You mean she's scary. And don't worry, I felt like you two were trying to take my son away from me."

"...Truly?"

"Yes." There was a blush darkening her face. "I know I acted badly."

"We both did." He smiled for her sake. The realizations that he had been bombarded with, not only about the situation but also about himself, discomfited him. If he had only attempted to talk to her before..._but I could not have known how she would have reacted, particularly not without her talk with Tinae and the revelations therein_, he knew. However, he still felt as if he should have tried.

_Why did I go along my path? Because it was easier than forcing a confrontation, despite the knowledge to be found? That is unbecoming when I consider myself a seeker of knowledge._

"So, Canas, I've been a fool," he heard her say, and consequently he was dragged out of his brooding. He looked at her, only to be greeted with her smiling face. "Will you forgive me?" 

"If you can find it in yourself to forgive me," he replied, though he could not help but think--

_I can't forgive myself._

--that it was all too easy. 

"Done. Of course we'll have to do a lot more talking, but I think we're done with the hard part," she said, and he had to admire her optimism.

_No, the difficult part lies ahead. But not for her._

Canas knew this to be true because he could remember all the times his mother had told him how contrary he was, how irritating he was, all because of his inability to be more decisive. He was too ambivalent about everything but the most important things to him, and that earned him the title of 'selfish' as well. These labels only ever bothered him slightly, and they certainly never stuck in his mind. 

Until now.

_Because, if Lily had not mentioned that she wanted to talk, when would I have ever attempted the same? I have tried and tried throughout the last week, but all too often I have succumbed to fear. I have always preferred to move on instead of traversing through difficult terrain. _

_I cannot say that I would leave my home here, though. Lily makes everything very easy for me._

"Is something wrong?" she asked, and he was startled to find that she was standing before him, one hand outstretched towards him. "Let's go to bed. You look tired." And he saw Lily and heard her words, but he also remembered the last time someone had made the same gesture of reaching out to him, and the advice given. 

_Leave._

It would be the hardest decision in the world for him. It would be uncomfortable and a potential disaster in the making. After all, he had just made amends to his wife after a prolonged period of ill feelings, and the proper thing to do would be to stay put and work on his marriage. 

But if he stayed, how long would it be until he once again fell prey to knowledge that was not really--the shadows of his own doubts and biases? If he truly meant to seek real knowledge, true insight, he was going to have to get up and find it. Even if it hurt.

Especially because it would hurt.

_Leave._

"Lily, there's something I must tell you, and I fervently hope you'll forgive me," Canas said, reaching out with his own hand and entwining his fingers with hers. 

He intended to leave, but he was not going to let go.

-to be continued-

Booya. Believe me when I say that writing this chapter has been an incredibly liberating experience, even if life is beating me up right now. By now I feel like I'm taking so many liberties with the canon espoused in the supports that a restraining order should be taken out on me, but I hope you can forgive that. A few comments: 

--A huge, family-destroying melodramatic argument that force a temporary separation seems a little cliché. I know a calm, rational conversation is the antithesis of drama, but the theme of the entire fic is 'connection', not 'we're adults but can't handle ourselves as such, so we're just going to bicker but it's really romantic because we're in love, or are supposed to be.' Even if some adults do act that way.

--Canas leaving his family, including one-year-old Hugh, for the sake of a quest of knowledge won't win him any 'Father of the Year' awards. I'd like to think he wasn't just looking for new books to read and ruins to explore.

--For those of you that are familiar with it, this chapter references the Karel/Noah support in FE6. According to the artbook, Noah is in his twenties, and he only remembered the Sword Saint tale because his mother told him; he's probably only a couple years older than Hugh.

Sorry for the length of this chapter. I do hope you like it! If you do, or if you don't, or if you have a question, I'd be more than happy to hear from you.


	34. The Long Goodbye

Shadows Under the Oak Tree

(C) Intelligent Systems and Nintendo

(Note: Longest chapter in the story, trust me.)

-0-

34. The Long Goodbye  
(_The story of red. Shadows and oak trees._)

When it came down to it, Lily couldn't knit. 

Years ago, her mother had received a spool of yarn from a friend in Lycia. It came from the highland sheep that grazed in the mountain range between Lycia and Bern and was dyed a deep, rich crimson. Each year her mother would send this merchant friend teas to soothe a body constantly agitated by news that could not possibly have affected his shop but still worried him at every turn, and he would send a spool of his finest wool. The tradition had been passed down to Lily, who was grateful for this friend; he knew little of magic and therefore had only sent his well-wishes when others had belittled her marriage to a shaman-scholar.

Her mother had been able to make a variety of cute gloves, scarves, and hats with the yarn, but self-aware Lily just let the spools collect in the drawer of her nightstand. It had been her goal to make a complete scarf for herself, and then one for Canas. But all she had to show for her effort was one failure after another, and a blanket she used for Hugh until he completed his first cycle and was active enough to require clothes. Also, that blanket had been originally a scarf for Canas until he had commented about its size, so it wasn't even what she had first intended.

She couldn't knit, but out of necessity she took up her knitting needles and began to work through the spools and spools of yarn she owned. Now that the Festival of the Ice Dragon was over and winter was upon them, she had more free time to knit. Whatever it took, she was going to finish this.

Canas was leaving in a month.

"I don't even see why you're doing this," Tinae complained one day in Lily's sitting room. "It's boring watching you make the same mistake over and over again! Let's play Three Eyes, or go outside, or something!"

Lily ignored Tinae, as well as the hovering presence of Mina, who sat beside Lily, and tried her best to make sure her stitches were even. "Um," Lily heard Mina say just before a finger appeared, pointing out a few stitches back. "You made a mistake there." Swearing under her breath, Lily began to undo all her progress from that point.

"Ugh, again? Lily, maybe you should just give up. This is, what, your fifth mistake since Mina and I got here?" Now Tinae was peering over Lily's other shoulder. "It doesn't even look like a scarf anymore."

"It isn't a scarf," Lily explained for what she felt had to have been the hundredth time in two weeks.

"If you want, I could make it for you, whatever it is," Mina said, and it was to Lily's annoyance because it wasn't the first time she'd heard that one. "Knitting is my specialty. I could have it finished in two weeks, and you could have the time to...finish the preparations."

"You mean, she has to get ready to take care of her son by herself this winter." Lily gritted her teeth and continued to knit as she heard Tinae stomping up and down the sitting room. "Lily! You married an idiot! He's going to freeze to death long before he gets out of Ilia, and it's not even because of your shoddy knitting skills!"

"Oh, Tinae!" Mina scolded. "He's really very nice! And besides, the problem isn't when he's leaving, it's that he's even leaving at all."

Laying her knitting needles and her uncompleted work on the table, she covered her face with her hands. "Stop it already! I know I married a fool, and I know he shouldn't be leaving, but can you both please stop talking about this?"

"But we're just worried about you," Mina said, her voice soft and sweet. "We want you to be happy, but you can't possibly be happy like this. Right, Tinae?"

Tinae laughed. "I'm not that worried, I just like insulting that guy."

_At least she's honest_, Lily thought with an inward sigh. Lowering her hands, she affixed each woman with a glare that cowed Mina a little too much and only made Tinae smile. "Neither of you are helping. In fact, you're both annoying me. Can't you two talk about something else? Something else that everyone's talking about?"

It was silent in the room for a long moment before a small, hesitant smile crept up on Mina's face. "Um, actually...everyone's only talking about the fact that your husband is...leaving you." 

"He's not leaving _me_, he's leaving the village in order to come to terms with himself," Lily said for what she knew was one time too many. "And that's fine with me. If he feels like it's something he needs, then I'll support him."

"Uh-huh, I believe that," Tinae said, one hand on her hip as she pointed at Lily. "I'm sure you just sat there and smiled and said, 'Yes dear, whatever you like. After all, my thoughts and feelings mean nothing next to you.'" Scoffing, she crossed her arms. "I'd bet my bow that what you really did was yell at him and woke up the baby." 

"Hugh slept through!" Lily protested, then she realized that hadn't been the right thing to argue. "And I didn't yell at Canas. I...I merely informed him of how I felt."

"Using the words 'fool', 'idiot', 'no common sense'?"

Lily frowned. "Did you have your ear to my front door or something?" Tinae grinned, to which Lily rolled her eyes. "Anyway, yes, I was upset. And yes, I don't like that he wants to leave in the winter. But he'll only lose his resolve if he waits until spring. In fact, I think it's almost fitting. After all, he came here five years ago on this month, so maybe he prefers traveling in the winter. Once he reaches Sacae he'll be fine. What I'm going to do is concentrate on the time we have left, so I really don't appreciate everyone telling me just what they think about my husband just because they feel entitled to having an opinion." She looked from one friend to the other, her eyes searching their faces for any traces of resentment for her words, and calmed once she realized that they seemed to understand her words for what they were and not as an attack on them.

"We're very sorry," Mina said, her hand on Lily's shoulder. "We got carried away. Can you forgive us?"

"It isn't anything to be formal about, I'm just a bit stressed," Lily replied as she hugged Mina. Turning to Tinae, Lily held out her arms.

"But I still think he's a fool," Tinae whispered in her ear as they hugged.

"So do I," Lily replied, and they both laughed. As the two parted, Lily smiled in an apologetic manner. "Now, I really need to get some work done, so I'll need to be alone."

Mina stood, her face bright with her smile. "We understand. Good luck!"

"If we see your husband and your son, we'll tell them to get back right away!" Tinae said, grabbing her cloak off the door hook before tossing another one to Mina.

"That really means you're going to stalk around until you find him, and then make up an emergency so that he'll rush home, right?" Lily couldn't help but ask. Tinae only flashed her a quick grin before opening the door.

After her friends had left, Lily spent a long time staring at her partly-finished work before sighing and flopping backwards. The wood frame of the couch reminded her why she didn't do that too often as her back ached in response, but she only stared up at the wood beams of the ceiling. _Canas, Canas, Canas, what am I going to do with you?_ she thought. _I really wish you didn't think this was the only way._

_I feel an acute sense of embarrassment_, she remembered him saying. _The events that had occurred were completely preventable, reconciliation was always possible, and yet I only stood back and watched. And, as usual, as soon as you perceived a solution, you put it into motion. I...I am ashamed at this._

"If you feel this is the best way, I'll support you to my fullest," she said, echoing the response she had given him once she realized how important leaving was to him. "I'll use every resource at hand. Nothing is too sacred." Sitting up, she stared down at her hands. Her left hand was permanently damaged, so she kept it wrapped in bandages, while her right hand was as normal as a hand could be. She glanced at the project before her on the table, and she reached for it. 

_Absolutely nothing at all._

-0-

_Mother is coming today._

Canas fidgeted with the tome on his lap, anxiety coursing through his body and making it difficult for him to concentrate on the theories of magical rejuvenation. Seeking an escape from the foreboding feeling he had, he watched his wife and his son interact with each other as they sat on the sitting room floor.

"Who am I?" Lily said, a smile evident in her tone. Hugh smiled. 

"Mama!"

After a short cheer, Lily reached out and tapped Hugh on the nose. "And who are you?"

Hugh laughed. "Huu!" This elicited a peal of laughter from Lily as she cuddled him, and Canas chuckled.

"I'm so proud of you, my plump little snowball," she told Hugh as she turned them so that they were both facing Canas. "Now, who is that?"

Pure happiness, the kind only young children seemed to truly have and appreciate, shone in his son's eyes. "Papa," Hugh identified, and Canas found that attempting speech was quite difficult when he was so charmed.

"See how happy Papa is? Good job, Hugh!" Lily kissed the crown of their son's head, affection in her eyes when her gaze flickered up to meet Canas'.

There was a knock at the door.

Canas closed his eyes, his sudden nervousness as wild as a runaway horse. He wanted very much not to answer the door, because he already knew who was on the other side. Yet...

_The only thing I want from you is an assurance. I'll support you no matter what, but I would like this._

He had made a promise. 

As Lily stood up to answer the door, Canas rose from his seat and placed a hand on her shoulder. "Please go sit down with Hugh," he said in answer to the questioning look she sent to him. She nodded and did what he asked of her before he attempted a smile and opened the door. "Hello, Mother. How does this day find you?" he greeted.

"Well enough at my age. I've found some new hexes to try today," his mother said as she entered the house. Closing the door behind her, he exchanged a glance with his wife--her expression was decidedly neutral--before taking a deep breath. Then another. Then another one, but by then he was beginning to see that it was an ineffectual exercise. He considered the consequences of simply not doing anything at all, and then remembered that it was that attitude that had caused so much trouble in the first place. Was he going to sacrifice all the goodwill he had earned during the last month simply because he feared action?

What was he leaving for if he remained unable to effect change in his own home?

Right, then, he thought before he joined his wife and son on one couch and looked into his mother's eyes. "Mother, we must talk," he began, finding that he quite liked that opening sentence. That urged him on. "I intend to leave on a quest for knowledge."

His mother frowned as she pulled her head scarf more tightly over her hair. "Is that so?"

"Yes. I do not know when I will return, but until then..." He inhaled, exhaled, and found no peace in the act yet again. "I would ask you to refrain from...from placing your hexes upon Hugh."

Breathing did not come any easier after he said those words, for his mother was now staring through him with narrowed eyes. Then she very deliberately looked away from him, instead focusing on his wife. "Well played," his mother said, and Canas had the distinct feeling she was not talking to him at all.

"You misunderstand, Lady Niime," Lily said, and Canas wished, not for the first time, that she would show a little more discretion when speaking to his mother, who looked rather unpleased at the moment with just his words alone. "I did want this, that is true, but your son is capable of making his own decisions."

Gnarled fingers curling together, his mother clasped her hands on her lap. "You have always spoken to me so directly, without fear," she commented. Lily shook her head.

"I wouldn't say 'without fear', but I cannot let fear rule my life. Too many people depend on me to choose that path."

"In this way we are similar." With just a tilt of her head, he recognized that his mother was acknowledging his presence once again. "It is always good to seek knowledge, but I would tell you now that many of those paths lead to death, and then there are the fates worse than a simple demise of the body. Your brothers know that much, if they know anything at all. But you have a future here, and a family. Not only do you risk losing them, they suffer the worst, perhaps, by losing you."

That his mother would even think to address such a subject surprised Canas. It was one of the most sympathetic gestures she had ever shown. "Yes, I am well aware. And yet this is something I must do. I...cannot be afraid. That way invites only ignorance."

His mother smiled. "Very well. I will agree. But know this, my son. Even if that child fears darkness now, one day he may find himself curious as to what lurks inside. And on that day, I intend to lead him into the abyss and he will know who he truly is."

Canas exchanged another look with his wife. He imagined he had much the same expression on his face as she did hers, one of fatigue and faint dismay.

_I suppose this issue will never quite end until Hugh is of age to decide..._

-0-

When Lily was nine, she had set out with her mother to Edessa to see the city's version of the Festival of the Ice Dragon, and to perhaps even choose her pegasus when she became a pegasus knight trainee the next year. They had taken a boat over, in the days before large chunks of ice floated in a haphazard manner and discouraged ferries from taking the trip, but little Lily had stared up at the sky and imagined that one day she too would fly. 

Nineteen years later, she left Corinth on the back of Leto's pegasus and flew to Edessa.

Lily followed Leto into the city, and through the streets of the fortress city of Edessa, named after the young woman who had called forth seven pegasi with her silver song for herself and six female knights. With these first pegasus knights, as well as the honorable Albion, Barigan charged into battle and became a legend among legends. Every Ilian child knew of the exploits of the greatest Ilian hero, and Lily looked forward to telling the story to her own son. It was a tale of ultimate devotion, not only between Barigan and the other legends of The Scouring, but also a personal one between Barigan and Edessa, as well as between Barigan and people of Ilia.

_Devotion._ The melancholy that had settled in Lily's mind was swept away in favor of a feeling of resolute determination. _That's why I'm here. Because, even if he's leaving, I want to help him any way I can. He's already done the same for me._

Leto led her inside the castle, up more flights of stairs than should be necessary, and through a hallway that ended with a giant wooden door. With a mighty tug that belied the pegasus knight's lithe figure, Leto opened the door and motioned for Lily to enter first. It was an office larger than her own sitting room, complete with bookshelves filled with what Lily presumed were records. Two spears hung on the wall directly behind a desk of a polished light wood the color of Worde sweets. There was a woman at the desk, and Lily could not help but stare in shock. 

As far as Lily knew, General Cassandra was often referenced but little seen, even among those in Edessa. General Cassandra's parentage was a strange mix: Ilian, Etrurian, and Sacaean. Not just the typical Sacaean of a tribe, however, but ones who hid themselves in strange familial units called 'clans' and had black hair instead of the green of the plainsmen. It was widely known that the general had a son, although she had never been married, and that she no longer participated in battle but was still considered a true knight.

Now, Lily saw for herself why General Cassandra no longer wielded a lance.

There was a brutal scar across the general's left eye, only somewhat hidden by her long fall of black hair. Lily, with her trained eye, could tell that it was an old wound. The general's arms were bare, and from her sleeves down there was massive scarring. When General Cassandra stood up, she had a noticeable limp as she used the desk as a sort of crutch. And yet, despite the lattice of wounds that marred her body, she carried herself with dignity and her remaining eye--gray-blue, like the waters off the shore where the casting-off of Corinth's loved ones was held--seemed to glimmer with good cheer.

"Lily," General Cassandra said, with such affection in her voice that Lily was touched, and she reached out the arm she was not using to brace herself. There was something incredibly forward about embracing the country's general and leader-apparent, but Cassandra didn't seem to mind one bit. "I wanted to thank you," she said, her breath tickling Lily's ear just before they released each other. "Ever since you sent me those herbs for Zealot's fever. I had been so worried, and you cured him just like that!"

"It...it wasn't much at all," Lily murmured, humbled and embarrassed by the genuine quality of the other woman's spirit. "At that time, I can't say...I had ulterior motives..."

"Everyone does. Better to use by healing than by hurting." Carrying the chair that Cassandra had been sitting in before, Leto came from behind Cassandra and put it down. Cassandra smiled as she took the hand offered by Leto and settled down in the chair. "Thank you, Lettie. I know you have a mission soon, but can you stay?"

Leto nodded. "Of course." She stood beside Cassandra's chair before pointing behind Lily. "There's a chair. Please sit."

"Oh, thank you," Lily said, pulling the chair towards the other two women and wincing at the sounds of the wood scraping against the stone floor. "Ah, sorry."

"Can't you carry it? It's pretty light," Cassandra said. Lily held up her left hand, bandaged as usual.

"It's hard to grasp things," she said, apologetic.

"Oh, I didn't realize! The result of the Lamia Six's plot, correct?" Gesturing to her body, Cassandra smiled as she shrugged. "I was ambushed six years ago in Laus. I was saved by a Lausian mercenary and his band, and they even watched over me for a time before I was able to go home."

Leto cleared her throat, staring down her nose at Lily. "This is a secret. No one who is not a commander knows what Cassie has gone through. We would risk demoralizing the younger knights." Although she looked complacent, standing at her general's side as if she'd been born to stand there, there was a hardness in Leto's tone and expression. "That is not an option."

"I understand," Lily said, timid because she was unsure of where she stood with the two. "I'm sorry if I don't seem trustworthy."

Cassandra shook her head, her smile never dropping. "No one is saying that. Well, now that the unpleasantries are out of the way, what can we do for you? Lian sent me a letter, but it was sparse on the detail. That's like Lian, of course, only..." She bowed her head, her face hidden by her hair. "No matter. The past can't be changed." When she lifted her head, Lily found the regret lingering on the general's face to be even more humanizing than her bright smiles. "But if Lian was willing to write to me, even after everything that has happened, then I'm willing to do whatever I can to help you."

Lily was beginning to rethink her plan. It seemed so petty to have come here just for some aid, but she had no illusions about the horrific conditions of an Ilian winter blizzard. If Canas was caught in one of those, no amount of magical resistance to the weather would save him. "Rosliand told me that there are resting camps throughout Ilia, just in case the blizzards become too much for even the pegasi. My husband intends to travel out of Ilia and into Sacae in two weeks, and I hoped that a map of these camps would help him."

"Traveling in the winter?" Doubt crossed Cassandra's face, but she turned to Leto. "A map of Ilia, please." Without a word, Leto went to one of the bookcases and pulled out a small map, unrolling it once she returned to Cassandra's side. "Can you mark where I point, Lettie?" In swift succession, the general pointed to several spots between the area where Corinth stood to the Ilia-Sacae border, and each place was marked with a blotch of black ink. "These points are approximate to the locations of small camps for our knights on patrol. I'm going to give you a writ that will allow your husband access to these points. If he times it well, he'll be safe during the blizzards."

"If not, he gets a burial," Leto said in the same dry tone Rosliand often used. After gaping at the enormously poor taste, Lily's temper began to smolder.

"I'm sorry, Lettie's sense of humor isn't normal," Cassandra said as she waved her hand over the ink. "It'll take me some time to make the writ, so is there anything else I can do for you?"

It was a sudden thought, but Lily quickly seized it and asked, "My niece is a trainee. Her name is Nikeah. Do you know if she's been accepted into one of the wings yet?"

Without a word, Leto picked up a book filled with loose sheafs of paper on the desk and began to leaf through it. "Nikeah of Corinth...here. Yes, a month ago. The fifth wing. Currently not on a mission."

"Oh," Lily said, pleasantly surprised. Just thinking of Tinae's reaction made her that much more happy, especially since Nikeah had been unable to write home since she'd left Edessa. "Can I see her?"

"Of course! But before Lettie takes you down to see her, I'd like to tell you a few things your husband should know." Cassandra rolled up the map and handed it to Lily. "One, Bern is extremely dangerous right now. We have several knights from the third wing there, but only because the name 'Strongwings' isn't a lie. It's classified information, but I can say that the king is acting strangely. Between you and me, a snowstorm is safer because it isn't consciously trying to kill you.

"Also, since he's going into Sacae, tell him to avoid the Taliver Mountains. We've heard that the bandits who use that area as their headquarters massacred an entire Sacaean tribe last autumn. They seem to be quiet for now, but we don't usually focus on Sacae." Closing her eyes, Cassandra looked to be deep in thought. "As far as Lycia is concerned, it's mostly fine. There was a succession battle in Caelin. We have a trainee there working as part of the Caelin knights, so that's a safe territory. We don't send our trainees to Laus anymore because of the marquess'...predilections, but your husband should be fine. Etruria, of course, is the safest country in Elibe."

"Thank you, I really appreciate everything you've told me, done for me..." Lily lowered her eyes to her lap, suddenly embarrassed. She'd come all this way, thinking that she would gladly even use the Union if it meant that Canas could get out of Ilia alive, and in turn she'd been helped in every way possible by the general herself.

For a woman who held her pride as if it were her greatest possession, she was incredibly humbled.

"I should be the one saying that," Cassandra said, her head turned away from Lily when the latter had raised her head. "You may have saved my son's life, so let me try to save your husband's. As Ilians, we can depend on each other."

_It's true, isn't it? We may not have much, but we have each other._

-0-

Even after eighteen months, Canas was fascinated by his son. 

At the moment, Hugh was running up and down the hallway as if his life depended on constantly accelerating his speed to new and frightening levels for a child who had not even spent a year practicing the fine art of walking. Canas could all but hear his currently absent wife--went to Edessa, will return by dinner--lecturing him on why he should not let Hugh do this. Canas understood this, but after he had tried to stop his son once and Hugh managed to run into his knee at full speed, he was not inclined to attempt that again. As it was, Hugh stopped crying and went right back to sprinting far more quickly than Canas' knee stopped throbbing in pain, which led Canas to believe that young children were either desensitized to pain or had rather short memories.

This ended when Hugh walked up to him and tried to, for lack of more fitting description, flop onto his lap like a trout struggling in its last few moments to get back into the water. Eyes wide with horror, Canas caught his son just before something terrible had the chance of occurring.

Hugh laughed.

_Perhaps it is just me...but did he place himself in danger intentionally for attention?_ Feeling slightly foolish at being suspicious of an eighteen-month-old's motives--even though this particular toddler was his son and Canas truly believed (as most fathers were wont to do) that Hugh was rather advanced for his age--Canas placed his son on his lap. Thankfully, Hugh was agreeable to this and only babbled in low tones. Cheered by his success in preventing his son from injuring himself, Canas relaxed.

Hugh lunged for the table like a wolf pouncing on a particularly plump rabbit. 

Normally, Canas only had quick enough instincts to save himself from harm, so he surprised himself when he snatched Hugh in midair and placed him back on his lap in one fluid motion. His heart was racing, his breathing erratic, as the realization of how irrational a toddler's mind could be struck him with devastating force. "Hugh! That was completely unacceptable!" he scolded, more in shock than in anger.

There were signs of a pout on Hugh's face as a trace of water appeared in his large eyes. Perhaps I was too harsh? Canas wondered, afraid that he had scared his son. "Forgive me, I shouldn't have shouted at you. However, you gave me quite a fright. I wouldn't know what I would do if you were seriously injured."

At the moment, Hugh was a plump ball of petulant indignation. This only solidified Canas' belief that his son was well and away more advanced than his young age would suggest, because that was quite a complicated set of emotions for his son to emulate, if indeed Hugh had observed them in another person to begin with. It was both endearing and maddening, because this was not how he imagined bonding with his son.

After a while of observing Hugh as the child held the same exact expression without even a quaver of change, Canas sighed. "Why don't I read you a story?" he suggested. Instantly, Hugh perked up.

"Papa read?" Hugh asked or demanded; Canas was unsure which it was. "Papa read book?"

_My, that was, for all intents and purposes, an actual sentence!_ Pleased, Canas swept an arm over the table, where a few tomes had been placed--or permanently relocated--for his perusal. "Yes, of course. Which one would you like?"

Hugh pointed at a familiar tome with a red-and-gold cover. " 'Fire'," Canas read, and a strange emotion fluttered inside him in response. "Your mother's spell tome. Anima magic...truly holds some fascination for you, even at your age..." 

"Fi-yah," Hugh repeated. Canas smiled and patted his son on the head before picking up the tome and opening it, placing it on his knees so that it faced the both of them while leaving some space between Hugh and the coarse paper of the spell tome.

"I also like anima magic," Canas admitted. "Surely you must sense it, the feeling of peace that emanates from the tome? Even though a basic spell tome such as this is mass-produced from the printing presses, there is an elegance in each letter, with the words of the spell even resembling vines of wisteria clinging to the side of a wall. Isn't it lovely? This peace also reminds me of your mother." He smiled, turning the page to keep Hugh occupied while he delved into his own thoughts. "Perhaps this is why you tend to be more well-behaved around her?

"Your mother is truly a wonderful woman. I've always known this to be true. But she is also..." Pausing, Canas attempted to come up with the right word but felt he had failed. Hugh turned and looked up at him in impatience. "Hm...your mother is very accepting. In fact, perhaps too much so. Where my mother and my friend would condemn me, she would assure me that everyone makes mistakes. While that is true, I do feel some residual unease that cannot be so easily wiped clean with her words of comfort. She accepts my faults, but perhaps that is, ah, only enabling me to continue them."

Yawning, Hugh leaned back and snuggled against Canas' chest. With a smile, Canas placed the tome on the table and adjusted his son so that the child could sleep in comfort. Hugh appeared to be the picture of innocence, his face peaceful in sleep and his hair sticking up every which way. He was just a young child, still so easily influenced. To look at his son now, Canas felt an indescribable feeling when he considered that, just a couple months ago, he had tried to do just that.

_This is why I need to leave. I must find that knowledge...the knowledge that can destroy biases and will set me on the right path. For the sake of my family, I must find it._

_For my own sake, I must find it._

-0-

_Mother, Father, please protect him._

Kneeling in front of her parents' grave, Lily called out to the spirits. Using what she knew of the Word of anima, by expanding and compressing her aura she reached out to the spirits and requested of them what she herself could not do. 

_Protect Canas._

She wasn't sure why she was doing this; her husband was certain he could survive by himself in an Ilian winter. Whenever she mentioned it, he would only nod and agree with her that, _yes, Lily, you're right. I certainly remember the last time, and it was quite the journey. Yet, if I stayed, if I waited...I'm afraid I would never leave._

_You don't have to be so eager to leave, though_, Lily thought, her concentration broken by the sudden wave of negative feelings inside her. Annoyance--plenty of that--and a bit of anger at his insensitivity, at her own inability to just tell him _no, what about my feelings?_

What, indeed. 

_Mother, Father, please protect Canas. If you had lived long enough to meet him, I'm sure you would've liked him. Despite my feelings, he's really a very good man. He's a good husband, a caring father, so sweet and kind._ Closing her eyes, Lily tilted her face towards the sky. There was no sun, and so all she could feel against her face was a chilly wind.

_Why are the days going by so quickly? I wish time would stop...it's too soon..._

One after another, the tears that pricked at her eyes were warm against her face. 

_Please protect him, because I can't. Hugh and I will be fine, but Canas will be out there and I can't...I can only do so much._

She clenched her hands into tight fists at her sides. 

_Are the things I do ever good enough?_

"Hey, Lily!" 

Startled, she wiped at her eyes before turning around, a stiff smile on her face. "Kelial, how are you?" Inside, she worried at his use of his cane when his leg had been doing much better in the last few years and resolved to see if she had anything for it once she went home. Still, she kept smiling--_he doesn't like being fussed over, it makes him feel weak and he can't stand that_--as she stood up and walked over to him to give him a hug. He wore a long deerskin coat lined with wolf fur, his favorite winter coat, and he felt warm and comfortable.

"No one could be doing as well as me," he bragged, stroking her hair with his free hand. "But I'm worried about you." 

"Hm?" She let go of his waist and took a step back, letting his hand fall from her head. "I'm fine, Canas is fine, and Hugh is more than fine, believe me," she said with a giggle that wasn't entirely false. "So, you don't need to worry."

There was a slant to his smile and a glimmer of something in his moss-green eyes that made Lily suspicious as he held up a finger in front of her face. "Let's see what I've heard about you lately. Last week, you went to Edessa for some mysterious reason. Ever since then, you've been running around the village, delivering medicines and making sure everyone has all their rations in place."

"Uh, that's my job."

"Except that you've been doing that almost every week since the end of the festival. And now, desperate for something to do, you've been locking yourself in your workroom and making medicine...but how can you do that when you should've already run out of herbs by now?"

Lily crossed her arms, her eyes narrowed. "How would you know about that?"

"Well, I checked your tea cabinet the other day while you were gone, and you're low on a lot of them, so that means you haven't restocked..." his voice became a mumble as she started glaring at him. "...Heh, I shouldn't have said that, right?"

"And where..." There was a threat in her tone that she had to force down since she was talking to her friend. "Where was my husband while you pilfered my tea?"

"Let's see, the last time I went to your house, he was trying to find the kid, but he couldn't see too well because I guess your son took his monocle...hm, I should've helped him out, huh?"

_I need to stay at home more often_, Lily thought, aggravated. "You're a horrible friend. Stealing tea while Canas needed help? It's as if you're taking advantage of him!"

"Hey, hey, that's disturbing! And I'm a good friend! I'm here, right before your very eyes, ready to help you with your problems." He actually winked at her. "You should be grateful." 

Arching an eyebrow at this, Lily asked, "And what help do I need from Corinth's infamous tea thief?"

"...Marriage help?"

"You're not married," Lily scoffed. "What could you possibly know about marriage?"

"Enough to avoid it at any cost," said a smirking Kelial. "But since you didn't, I'm here to help you."

She could feel the headache coming on as she turned away from him. "There's nothing to help. Everything's fine now. Canas is leaving soon, and I'm just trying to prepare for that."

Kelial had always walked more heavily in the snow, and so she could hear him take a few steps one way, then another, his pacing limited by the thick coating of snow on the ground. "But there is something bothering you. Like I was trying to say before, you've been working a lot lately, even when there's nothing to be done. That's what you always do when you feel overwhelmed. When your parents died, all you did was work. And lately, it seems like that's all you do." There was silence between them, separating them with what felt like a chasm of unspoken thoughts. "So, you want to tell me why?"

"...It makes me feel better to use all my sadness and do something productive with my time, instead of just sitting around and crying. I don't--I can understand the need to mope around, but I can't do that. But there's not much now that winter is here." She looked down at her boots; she had stood in one place so long that it looked like she had sunk into the snow. "If I try my hardest to help him, I should be feeling better. But I'm just helping him leave, and I...don't want him to go."

"Does he know that?"

"He knows that I don't like it, but he should think that's because he wants to leave in the winter. He's leaving next week, you know." Puffs of her exhalations hung in the air before her face, like fog clouding her eyes. "I didn't feel this way in the beginning, but as the days go by, I feel...scared."

Kelial didn't respond for a long time, and Lily, her throat feeling pained, spoke again. "Everyone leaves. My sister ran away, my parents died, and now Canas..." The pain was worse as her eyes throbbed with heat. "And all I can do is stay here and feel things that I could really do without. I've always wanted to leave, to explore the world, but here I am...and there they go."

She could hear his footsteps until he put his arm around her shoulders. "Yeah, that's just how it has to be. Some people have to always stay around in one place while everyone else kinda barges inside their home and takes what they need." Lily looked up and gave him a withering glare; he smiled as charmingly as possible. "If you keep your face like that, it'll freeze into place. It's pretty cold today, after all."

Lily took everything she knew about glaring at a person from Rosliand and aimed it at him until he recoiled. "So, what you're telling me is that I exist to be taken advantage of by everyone who crosses my path?"

"H-hey, I never took advantage of you. That was mutual, even if your father didn't think so." Blushing, Lily tried to walk away before he caught her arm. "All right, all right, never mind that! How about this, hm, you're like that oak tree over there," he said, using his cane to point towards the trees that stood before the clearing in front of the mountain.

She couldn't help but giggle. "They're all oak trees."

"Right. So pick one and that's you. They're always going to be standing here, keeping guard. They're dependable. I don't know how they manage to survive in this cold, but they do. And...hm." He nudged her to look down, where a multitude of shadows where scattered under the trees. "The shadow attached to your tree is Canas."

There was an assumption she had made, one about nature's magic and dark magic, but since she knew that Kelial didn't know a thing about magic beyond that it hurt to be hit by a spell, she only nudged him with her hip. "Why do you say that?"

He cleared his throat. "Umm...for a good reason. While you're sturdy and dependable, he isn't. In fact, I'd say that he depends on you, since he's almost always sitting in the same spot and reading some huge book. But, uh, shadows are also always changing based on the time of day. You're always pretty much the same, but I've seen him take on all sorts of shapes. Sometimes he's nervous, sometimes he's nosy, sometimes he's excitable, and sometimes he's even brave." She could feel him twirling a lock of her hair around his fingers. "You're predictable, but he surprises me a lot."

"He surprises me a lot, too," Lily said, her smile tiny and uncertain.

"Trees and shadows, shadows and trees. They're always going to be attached to each other, whether they like it or not. But humans don't really do that for too long without problems." His eyes, which usually shone with mischievous charm, were softer now as he gazed at her. "Separating for a little while might not be so bad. At the very least, you'll be a lot happier once he comes back."

_A good thing to separate? I thought it would be best to have more time to work on our marriage, but I'd like the time to think about things for myself. Hugh will miss his father though, but..._ Nodding, Lily began to smile. "Thank you, Kelial."

A grin appeared on Kelial's face. "See, I told you I'd solve all your problems." 

"Yes, that's true." Now her smile hardened. "Why don't we talk more about my tea while you walk me home?"

Worry creased his brow. "You can't walk yourself home?"

"No."

"Dammit."

-0-

It was time. 

With two satchels filled with necessities such as tomes and clothes, Canas walked towards the entrance to the village, unsure of how he felt--or rather, how to express his feelings. Beside him was Lily, who walked with her hair unbound and speckled with snow. Both of them took slow steps for the sake of their son, who, to Canas' curiosity, carried a bundle of red that had been impressed upon him by his mother. Since Hugh appeared happy to be entrusted with some responsibility, Canas kept his curiosity to himself.

Yet despite the almost leisurely pace they employed, the entrance was soon before them. Beyond that point was the beautiful loneliness that characterized Ilia, plains of endless white that stretched before them with little more than snow-coated trees as scenery. Canas remembered his journey to Corinth five years ago, where he had managed to not find a single village save the one that was his destination, and hoped this would be far from the case this time.

_The loneliness of the journey was not terribly bothersome_, he thought as he glanced at his wife, _but the circumstances have changed drastically between then and now. While before I welcomed any opportunity to contemplate on my studies, now I have a family. A family who will wait for my return..._

A hand rested upon his upper arm. "Is something wrong?" Lily asked, and in her face he saw nothing but the same compassion she had once shown to him, a traveler seeking the knowledge of her parents. 

_Well, after she untied me_, he thought, more amused than anything else at the memory. "I was thinking about the land before me, and the last time I had traversed it."

"Mm. This time you have a map to help you find suitable resting sites, and I suggest you use it. But with all this--" she waved one hand at the scene before them, "--it seems foreboding. All this emptiness...it surprises me that you found your way here." 

"Yes, it was a harrowing journey at parts. Certainly at the time I felt that repeating such a trip would mean the end of my life, or my sanity."

There was a moment of silence in which Canas realized what he had said. Lily sighed. "That doesn't make me feel better."

"Ah, yes. My apologies."

Lily said nothing in return, not even when Canas continued to observe her. She only let her hand drop from his arm, choosing to wrap her arms around herself. Her stance, combined with her blank expression and the way the snow clung to her hair and dotted her dark cloak, reminded him of an ever-silent sentinel forever doomed to stare out into the distance for a long-forgotten ruin. Perhaps he had read that somewhere, or perhaps it was merely a thought born from his own imagination, but either way it was an apt description.

He was struck by indecision.

_I wanted to leave, to seek the knowledge that would enable me to become, perhaps, a better man. And yet...despite her constant support, she seems so sad. Am I once again justifying my selfishness, and hurting her in doing so? I...if that is so, though I am unsure..._

"Don't look like that, please." 

Blinking away his thoughts, he looked at her. "P-pardon?"

"It doesn't suit you," she said, running her teeth over her lower lip as she averted her eyes. "If I give you a gift, will you smile for me?"

"A gift?" he asked, unable to believe his ears. "But you've already done so much! The map, the writ of clearance, all the curatives and medicinal teas..."

"You're cute when you're modest." Kneeling down, she clapped and received Hugh's attention in return. "Hugh, I need Papa's present."

Canas watched in curiosity as Hugh pulled out a long red cloth from where he had been burying it in snow. _Is that...a scarf? It appears to be rather long..._ Setting his luggage onto the ground, Canas frowned as he adjusted his monocle. _Hmm...it also seems too wide as well. _

By the time Lily and Hugh had finally extricated the scarf and brushed off most of the snow, Canas had managed to hide most of his trepidation for his wife's questionable knitting skills. While it appeared well-made, it was much too long and wide, almost as if it were a second blanket for Hugh. "Now be good and try not to bury any more clothing," Lily told their son before she stood up and held out the scarf. The length far exceeded even her arms as they were held out at her sides. "What do you think?" she asked. He really wished she had not asked that. 

"Ah...hm, it's rather...red. Is it made from the same yarn as Hugh's blanket?"

She smiled, which only made him feel worse. "Yes. May I?"

"Ah, of course."

He had expected her to hang the scarf around his neck and adjust it accordingly; as he knew intimately, she was very good with knots. Therefore, when she started to wrap it around his waist, he felt rather flummoxed. He murmured an "oh" of surprise as she adjusted the apparent sash so that it fit more snugly over his hips, and then he blushed when her gaze flickered upwards to meet his own, a small smirk lingering on her lips. "You're also cute when you blush," she informed him before she returned her attention to the sash.

"Well, I...er...thank you," he managed, glancing at Hugh. Their son had taken off his little gloves and filled them with snow before throwing them at the ground. Snow burst from the gloves and Canas suppressed a chuckle; he could see a lecture in Hugh's future. Then he realized that he was not going to see what was going to happen next in his son's life. He could only imagine the results, use what he knew from past events to assume a logical series of events, but he would not be physically there with his family.

_That is what I chose._

"There you go," he heard Lily say as she patted his side. "You look great." 

He looked down, where his new crimson sash completed his outfit. "I like it," he answered with honesty. "I'm, ah, touched that you would spend your time on something as unimportant as this when you have so many other duties to attend to..."

Lily shook her head. "It's not just for fashion, though I like how it stands out with all those dark coats you like so much. I made it so that it's big enough to use as a blanket, or you could roll it up and make it a pillow, or you could just use it to wrap your feet when you rest."

"Er...my feet?"

She reached up and tapped his left ear, then his nose, the tips of his fingers, and finally pointed to his feet. "Frostbite occurs in these areas first. You'll have to take care of your feet especially, since the snow on the ground can seep into your boots and make your socks wet, which will give you a cold if you're not careful. There wasn't very much I could give you in the way of cold remedies, since you decided to make this journey after I'd given out most of my tea." She stared at him until he felt sufficiently guilty, then shook her head. "It's not much, but every bit helps."

"I understand." She glanced up at him, keeping her gaze on him until he had to inquire, "...What is it?"

"Aren't you going to smile for me?"

"Oh." He smiled, surprising himself when he realized that he did actually feel like doing so. "Thank you, Lily."

"It was the least I could do," she said before embracing him tightly. A pause, a heartbeat, and Canas reciprocated, his fingers threading into her long hair as she rested her head on his shoulder. He could feel her exhalations, even through the collar of his coat and the high neck of the shirt he wore underneath, and for some odd reason it was more vivid to him than even her arms around his waist.

Closing his eyes, he curled his fingers as if trying to get them lost in her hair, and attempted to freeze this single moment into his memory forever.

"I want you to experience a lot of things while you're out there," she whispered, "because I can't leave. I want you to tell me how the people are and how they spend their winters. I want you to tell me what spring is supposed to look like. Write long letters about the smallest things and send them. Please do this for me."

"I would be happy to," he replied against her hairline.

She nodded. "Thank you," she breathed, relaxing her hold on him just enough to reach up and touch his cheek; the bandages on her hand were scratchy against his skin but he found that he did not mind in the least. There was anticipation fluttering inside him as she shifted her body against his, as her hand swept upwards around his ear and her fingers ran through his hair, and after a moment's hesitation he leaned in to kiss her. His lips smudged against the area just below her nose and above her upper lip, and he could feel her suppressing her laughter as he did his own because it was just like their first kiss, years ago during their engagement, when he had closed his eyes far too soon. Then, he had been mortified, but now he only smiled and lowered his head just a bit more.

No matter how boundless the anticipation, Canas felt that it always seemed to be superseded by the moment itself.

It seemed to be too soon when they separated, although he could not help but act on the urge to lean in for a quick, closed-lipped kiss before finally parting. Her cheeks were red as the tip of her tongue swept across her plump lower lip. "Now I'm already looking forward to your return," she said with a grin. He laughed, certain that the heat tingling on his face was not just a result of their kiss. As Lily turned to Hugh, Canas adjusted his monocle before directing his attention towards the mountain. The vibrant red leaves of the oaks caught his eye for the barest of moments before the face of his son hovered before him.

"Papa, look!" Hugh demanded, pointing at the ground. There, Canas noticed a large pile of snow with Hugh's gloves sticking out of it, much like some poor land-based bird with vestigial wings.

"It's quite interesting," he commented before taking Hugh from Lily. He held his son in his arms and tried to remember the time when Hugh had been only a baby wrapped up in a crimson blanket. The memory of the newborn Hugh, his first meeting with his son, was a cherished one, and it surprised him how large Hugh was now. _Not even two...how much more will he have grown by the time I return?_ The thought kept him holding onto his son until he realized that Hugh was bound to grow up, whether or not he was there. With a melancholy feeling settling over his mind like a light fog, Canas handed Hugh back to Lily.

_It is time._

Canas picked up his satchels, hefting them over his shoulders for maximum comfort during the long walk ahead. His wife and his son stood before him and suddenly he found it quite difficult to speak. It was all he could do to raise his hand and wave. "Goodbye, Lily. Goodbye, Hugh. I promise I..." He swallowed around the sudden lump in his throat. "I will write." 

"I know," his wife said, her uninjured hand raised. His son waved enthusiastically.

Smiling, Canas waved one last time before turning away and walking towards the unknown.

-to be continued-

Whew, long. Basically everything that could go wrong with this chapter happened, which is why I ended up delaying it. I always want to provide the best quality I can, especially for a chapter as important as this one, and that was more important than my schedule. Hopefully this chapter is much improved because of it. 

It was my plan from the very beginning to write a single kiss in the main story. There was something about putting the one overt romantic action in the entire story just as Canas is leaving his family that appealed to me (probably my sense of irony).

There are two more chapters and an epilogue left, for those who want to know.


	35. Letters from a Scholar

Shadows Under the Oak Tree

(C) Intelligent Systems and Nintendo

Special thanks to Gunlord500 for the last-minute fact-checking.

-0-

35. Letters from a Scholar  
(_A world apart. The most important lesson._)

Lily awoke slowly, her mind clouded in the thick haze of half-formed dreams. She could feel her son's body curled up at her side, could feel him breathing with his head tucked next to the side of her rib cage. It was early, she could tell that much without opening her eyes, but there was something out of place even in the darkness of the night. For a while she laid there, still enveloped in the comfortable haze of almost-sleep, doing nothing more than absorbing whatever she could feel and hear. There was her son's body and his steady breathing. There was a wolf howl in the distance. There was the weight of the blankets on her body. There was--

_I can't hear Canas._

Her eyelashes didn't even flutter at this. Obviously if she couldn't hear the sounds of her husband sleeping next to her, he must be in the privy. She couldn't believe she was sensitive enough to wake up because of _that._ Of course, sleeping next to the same person for three, three and a half years..._ah, it doesn't matter_, she thought. _I want sleep._ Then the truth hit her as she tried to sink back in a deep slumber and she spent the rest of the night in a restless doze.

It had been two months since she had waved goodbye to him, and she hadn't heard from him since.

-0-

A month later, and still nothing. Lily learned to let out the seams in Hugh's clothes and make them bigger to compete with his rapid growth. Hugh learned the word 'no' and used it often.

-0-

Another month passed by without word; the snowstorms were unusually fierce. Lily turned twenty-nine and talked to her son every day about his father, just so he wouldn't forget. Hugh finally was completely weaned, but all attempts on Lily's part to teach him how to sleep alone in the other room were met with tears.

She didn't push it too much. It was a very cold winter.

-0-

Dated a month ago, it was the last of the four letters the pegasus knight trainee had handed to her. Each letter was a thick bundle of papers neatly folded and placed inside an envelope that could've doubled as a small bag for carrying treats. The paper was of poor quality; the ink had leaked into the dull brown parchment a little too easily, and it was rough, almost grainy, against her fingers. Slanted and precise, the handwriting suffered from an odd jaggedness to what would otherwise be much more fluid print, as if the writer had been in motion while composing the letter.

_ Dear Lily,_

_I sincerely hope you and Hugh are doing well. It had come to my attention while I was in Bulgar that severe blizzards have, to put it bluntly, flattened much of Ilia in the past few months. If I had left even a week late, I fear I might have been overwhelmed by the storms; even so, because there is not much traffic between Ilia and Sacae at the best of times, news of the worsening weather came rather late._

_I had finalized plans with Master Doone to secure a place in his caravan and I am currently riding inside the last wagon as I write these words. As I have detailed in the last letter, I am to organize the inventory while we are on the road. There are a few small villages we are to stop at during this journey, and in those locations I shall assist in setting up the wares for purchase. It is not a difficult duty, and as thus the pay I am to receive reflects that, but since I do get free food and board I am quite satisfied with the results of our negotiation. It is a pleasant ride to Ostia, barring the rains. Master Doone also hired a few mercenaries from Bulgar to protect his wares, but they are plainsmen and do not communicate much, even with their own people. I have managed to open a dialogue with one of the men, called Yune, who I believe used to live among the Lorca tribe, but he will only answer that his tribe no longer exists when I ask why he no longer travels with them. As I have heard that the plainsmen of Sacae live and die with their tribe, I wonder what has happened to the Lorca?_

_I found some herbs just a few days ago, when the caravan had stopped for lunch. Although I am unsure as to its usage, I have enclosed the sprig I found and hope that you will be able to make some use of it. Sacae is truly a wonderful place, with many hidden treasures, but that is also true of all countries. Now, if you will permit me this indulgence, I would like to relate a few tales I gleaned from Yune, about the beliefs of his people..._

"He's going to Ostia?" The sharp _thwack!_ of Jorah's axe cleaving a log in two punctuated the surprise in his question. Lily nodded as she watched the two halves fall from the chopping stump, her head tilted in such a way that she imagined she could hear the laughter of the children inside the village. The woodsmen spent their days outside the village, and she remembered a time when Jorah had been one of them.

"Yes. Do you know anything of that city?"

"Hm." Piling the split logs into what promised to be a week's worth of firewood, he set a new log onto the stump. "It's the largest city in the Lycia Alliance, and their head of government. They rarely like to hire anyone unless they're desperate, so I've only had the chance to pass through."

Lily's lips curved into a smile. "They don't hire mercenaries? They must have a very good knight brigade, then." The idea that Canas was heading towards such a safe area relaxed her mind.

"They do, in the form of their famous armored foot knights. Very impressive, and intimidating. But..." She could see the smirk on his face before he raised his axe, and with an audible _whoosh_ the iron blade sliced through the air before it splintered through the new log. He smiled at her, not even looking winded despite his powerful swings. "Ostia has a well-known tradition of being tightfisted with their gold."

"Are they plating their knights with it?"

Jorah laughed as he picked up the new pieces of firewood. "They probably have enough hidden away to do that. It's a nice city, but much plainer than even the other castle towns in the area. It's good to hear that your husband is doing well. How long do you think he'll stay in Ostia?"

Shuffling her feet, she shrugged. "Until he finds something else that he wants to learn about, I suppose. Ostia isn't known for magic, so I think he won't stay for too long."

She could feel her friend's glance on her, and when she met his gaze she saw only good-natured confusion on his face. "Mina told me that you told her that your husband was going away on a journey for self-improvement?" He turned away, reaching for another log. "But perhaps I misheard."

_I love how information gets around this village. A whole chain could be made of who heard what from whom before getting into what was actually heard_, Lily thought, not fazed. Thinking over her words carefully--what she said next would be repeated to Mina, at the least, even if Jorah was giving her the benefit of the doubt--she ran a hand through her hair. "True, but for Canas the idea of knowledge is something of a lure for him. Since he's a magic scholar, he'll follow the path of magic and trust it will lead him right."

"That sounds interesting," said Jorah before he set his axe against the unfinished stack of logs. "Now that I've been allowed to stay home year-round, I've been feeling as if I could use a journey like that. Yet, when I was still active within the Union, I wanted nothing more than to stay with my family. I certainly never thought I would live long enough to have my wish granted." He ran a hand through his short, black hair before smiling at her. "Strange, isn't it? Maybe it's human nature to always want something different."

"Is...is it really that nice out there?" Do you think he's been longing all this time to leave? Lily didn't ask.

"The difference between Ilia and the other countries is monumental. The color of the lands, the foods we eat, down to the way we think." He shrugged. "But at the end of the day, there are some things that can only be found at home, or the home we carve out for ourselves. Your husband too, I think, will figure that out."

Lily smiled. "I'm sure he will."

-0-

The letter had arrived yesterday, but Lily had been much too busy trying to organize several packages of herbs. Thankfully, Hugh had taken a liking to Rachel, and even if it meant that Lily no longer had an assistant to help her it was still better than trying to find someone to look after the child. But the letter had still been on her mind, and it was a relief to open it up first thing in the morning and enjoy it while Hugh slept.

_ Dear Lily,_

_The splendors of spring are beginning to bloom in full on either side of what is considered to be one of Lycia's premier roads, predominately for use by merchants. Yet here and there I have seen travelers from all walks of life, from mercenaries to adventurers to even a multigenerational family moving from Laus to Ostia. After fulfilling the requirements of the job I had taken in Bulgar, I happened to hear about a strange isle southwest of Badon. Apparently, while the island's proper name is Valor, the name that the sailors know it by is the 'Dread Isle', because of the unnatural fog that surrounds it. It is said to be the home of 'black magics as dark as a demon's soul', which led to me to wonder if perhaps users of elder magic had once used the island as a sort of home. Perhaps even a community was created there. Although my mother has, in the past, deigned to tell me stories of our ancestors, I have not had much personal experience with elder magic users beyond my own family. It would be interesting to see how an altogether separate community would have functioned, from their architecture to the reasons why they would have deemed it best to separate themselves from Elibe as a whole. Even if the rumors lead to nothing, it will still be interesting to investigate._

_I am deeply regretful to have missed the renewal of your cycle. To be honest, I do not believe I have ever given you a gift, considering that your affinity month often suffers from long bouts of blizzards and other wintry weather conditions. To remedy this, I found something in Ostia that I would like for you to have. It is a small gift, but I think you would appreciate it. It is the wrapped item inside the envelope._

_Now, let me describe to you some of the sights of a Lycian springtime. In Ostia, for instance..._

Dutifully, Lily read the rest of the letter, her uninjured hand stroking her son's hair as he slept. By the time she had finished the letter, she was smiling from all the stories Canas had to tell; he not only wrote his own observations of the areas he had been to, but he also seemed to get a real pleasure out of asking other people about their lives and jobs._ One day he's going to ask the wrong person his questions and he's going to annoy them, _she thought, shaking her head in amusement.

_ Now, he said something about a gift...?_

A small square of paper fell out of the envelope when she tipped it onto her lap; it was folded in a complicated manner so that it was like a pouch. She didn't think Canas had the dexterity to do such a thing, though he had the patience, and so she figured he either bought whatever was inside, or someone was kind enough to help him. Using her fingernails, she managed to 'untuck' a flap, and a few odd pebbles fell out. Confused now, she examined one of the pebbles.

_No, it's not a pebble, _she realized with a start._ It's a seed. But why?_

She stared at the seed between her index and thumb as the answer struck her.

_ He's so sure that we'll succeed...he's making a promise to me that he'll come back and we'll get back to work on our dream..._

She smiled as she put the seeds away in the pouch and made sure to place it somewhere that Hugh couldn't reach. For days afterward people would comment on her cheerfulness and ask her what was going on, but she kept that a secret.

_ What a considerate husband I have!_

-0-

Now that Hugh was old enough, Lily encouraged him to play with other children. Since he was friendly and willing to listen to others, the other children didn't mind including him in their games, although he had to have a partner while playing Hide-and-Seek or else he would just run around and reveal everyone else's hiding spots. As his mother, Lily enjoyed watching him as he played with others; she hated to admit it, but before she had him, she was much more concerned with her medicinal creations and magic studies than the antics of children.

Today, she stood outside of her house and watched as a dozen children split themselves into groups to build the 'biggest, bestest snow-warrior ever!' according to a very excited Sami. She wasn't sure what a 'snow-warrior' was, but she did notice that Sami and a couple of the older boys had taken a longbow and placed it on the ground next to the area that had been set up for the 'snow-warrior'. Hugh, as the youngest child there, was attempting to gather snow but often had to be directed by the eldest children. All in all, it was a very peaceful scene.

And then the pegasus landed close to the snow-warrior.

All the children ran from their duties and surrounded the pegasus. The pegasus knight trainee looked bemused as she glanced around her. Motivated by a sense of charity, Lily walked towards the trainee. "Are you on mail duty?" she asked, even as Hugh tugged on her dress and screamed, "Look Mama, look! Peggi-sis!"

At the words 'mail duty', the trainee knight reached for the bag slung around her shoulder. "Yes, I am." She pulled out two letters and a small package, and Lily was delighted to find that one of the letters was from Canas, and the package was from a friend in Etruria. After the mail was handed over, the trainee knight looked around her again. "Um, I can't leave when they're all so close to Lavie like that..."

Lily coughed. "All right, children, move back. She needs to go now."

None of the children moved.

"What is this?" Lily heard Rosliand say as the older woman approached the group. Lily gestured at the children.

"They're too amazed by the pegasus to move."

Rosliand raised her hand and snapped her fingers, capturing the attention of all the children, the pegasus knight trainee included. She let her gaze linger on the group for what felt like an eternity frozen in ice. Then, her lips parted.

"Move."

All the children ran away. The trainee flew off without warning, leaving behind a scattering of pegasus feathers. Rosliand smiled. "Still effective."

Smoothing down her hair, Lily exhaled heavily through her nose. "This letter is for you," she said as she handed it to Rosliand. "Let's go over to my house, or else the children won't come back to finish their snow-thing." Sure enough, the children returned to their project as soon as Rosliand was a good distance away. Lily wondered how long it took for Rosliand to develop such an ability, not to talk of_ why. _Then she thought it was best not to know.

"Is that letter from Canas?" Rosliand asked as they stood outside Lily's house. Lily nodded. 

"I've been waiting for his next one. They seem to be coming from a week behind now. The mail's a lot faster this spring." She ripped open the envelope and pulled out several pages of what felt like a better quality of paper. Canas' handwriting could be seen on both sides of each page. "Hm, seems shorter than usual," Lily remarked before she glanced at Rosliand, unsure if it was polite to read while her friend stood beside her. "Do you mind if...?"

"Go ahead."

_Dear Lily,_

_I meant to send a letter before I found passage on a ship to Valor, but unfortunately that was not to be so. Please forgive me for being remiss, as I have had to wait until I returned from that journey before I found the time to write. To put it bluntly, only the pirates were willing to approach Valor's shores due to superstition, though one could suppose as much when it is more widely known as the Dread Isle, and I had not been able to convince any of them to ferry a single passenger across. I enjoyed several days' worth of hospitality from a kindly innkeeper before an unusual scene occurred: an army of nobles and commoners were playing a game with the pirates in order to book passage onto their ship! This strange army's leader, a redheaded young man named Lord Eliwood of Pherae, happened to call at the inn, and, after I explained my circumstances, he graciously allowed me to join their retinue due to my abilities in elder magic, unimpressive as they are. After the events on the island, which you must forgive me in not relating at this particular time due to their disturbing nature, I decided to join as one of Lord Eliwood, Lord Hector, and Lady Lyndis' number until their journey reaches its end. There are a number of compelling reasons, first and foremost being that the nature of these young nobles' journey leads me to believe that there is a great deal of heretofore hidden knowledge available to be revealed as we continue on..._

"Lily. You are turning red."

The sound of Rosliand's voice jolted Lily into dropping both the letter and the package; the latter landed with the slightest noise, but the pages fluttered in the breeze. Rosliand snatched all the pages before they could cover the ground like overgrown snowflakes, and Lily could only close her eyes and lean against the wall of her house, a single thought throbbing inside her mind like an insistent headache.

_ Canas, you fool._

She knew that Rosliand was reading the letter by the soft sound of surprise her friend made. "This is a surprise. Why would the son and brother of two of the most powerful marquesses in Lycia raising an army?"

"That's not important!" Lily snapped. "I couldn't care less about some nobles' war games! I can't believe Canas would just join an army..." Frustrated, she dragged her fingers through her hair and clenched the ends, the weight of her fists felt in pinpricks of pain on her scalp.

_ All this for knowledge? It's one thing to leave your family, but then to join an army afterwards...what are you thinking? 'Disturbing nature' ...but it's even more disturbing when you don't say anything at all._

"I deserve your anger," Rosliand said, her voice quiet, almost contemplative, "because I told him to leave."

Running her hands through her hair again, Lily shook her head. "Canas made the decision, not you."

"To be the one left behind is difficult. I still think I should have left."

_She's not talking about Canas, is she?_ Lily glanced over at Rosliand, who was watching the children without any emotion on her face. "Who do you mean, Rosliand?"

"I am relating to you by using my own experience. People can only truly understand others by thinking about themselves first." Rosliand was looking at her out of the corner of her eye, which Lily found to be a bit creepy. "Correct?"

"I think it's more complex than that," said Lily, "but please continue. You've...you've never talked about your husband before."

Rosliand shrugged. "No one could ever relate to me before. Not even my dearest friends. That was why I was sent here. I was an embarrassment to the Union...no, to those who believed in me. I wanted to die."

"I'm sure your friends wanted to you live. That's why they sent you here." Reaching out, Lily touched Rosliand's shoulder. "This village is very peaceful, after all."

"Not that." With a smile, Rosliand turned to look at her. "A village means nothing without the right people. Consider Lamia, for instance." She turned away. "My friends made Edessa a home, but he made me enjoy a life after the missions. But if we were both on duty, eventually we would face each other on opposite sides of the battlefield.

"Because he wanted it, I retired and watched him leave. I have been paying for it ever since."

That Rosliand would reveal such a personal recollection to her made Lily feel incredibly touched, even though the older woman talked in the same dry tone as usual. Now she could see that, above all else, Rosliand felt guilty, or else she wouldn't have said anything at all.

"It's not your fault, then or now. I know you won't believe me, but I will never hold you responsible for Canas' decisions." Lily squeezed Rosliand's shoulder in an affectionate manner and smiled when her friend looked at her. "He rushes into solutions because he never has any common sense, but he seems to never consider this a problem. He actually lives pretty well without my help, and even if I'm annoyed with him...well, no matter what happens, I know he did the best with what he had. That's good enough for me."

There was no expression on Rosliand's face as she asked, "Is it good enough for your son?"

Lily said nothing for a long moment. "It's going to have to be," she answered, her voice sounding hollow to her own ears. "That's the consequence of having no common sense."

_ Part of common sense is thinking about other people and how they would feel. Canas, I really hope you know what you're doing...because your life isn't just about you._

-0-

The letters trickled in, snatches of Canas' life in the strange world outside of Ilia, where three teenaged nobles were leading an ever-growing army against a mad druid--and she had to admit not being the least bit surprised when Canas finally wrote about what was really going on--with unfathomable power. And somehow dragons were involved. 

The world outside Ilia was a mad place, Lily decided. Beautiful, but crazy.

There was a letter from Ostia, then an odd emptiness before the next letter, in which her husband was describing the Nabata Wasteland, of all places. Then, suddenly, he was talking about the crisp spring air in the highlands of Bern. It was then when she mentally gave up. She sensed he was intentionally holding back some details, but since he was already talking about _dragons_, living dragons of all things, she couldn't imagine what could be more unbelievable than that. For instance, he mentioned that a venerable sage, who had mastered all there was to learn about anima magic, was assisting their army, but there was something in that phrasing that made Lily raise an eyebrow in response. After all, the last--the only--person who it could have been said was a master of anima, a master of nature itself, was the Archsage Athos, and that honorable legend's time had long since passed.

Canas was a scholar of magic. She thought he should've realized that, in the history of anima magic, the Archsage was beyond compare.

All weirdness aside, she was just grateful that she had his letters. They were the physical presence that, somewhere in Elibe, he was still alive and thinking about his family. She enjoyed his stories about the little army after the battles, when they were allowed to become people from all walks of life. He was descriptive enough that she could imagine him sitting outside his tent or with his back against a tree trunk, observing a mercenary deep in conversation with an Eliminean acolyte while a young female troubadour watched them from within the speckled shadows of fruit trees, or how the knights of all the different regions in Lycia would meet for training, despite their differing styles. In his words, she could see the stoic giant of a man who would set aside his battle axe and sketch the scenery while a young cleric walked by and chattered animatedly with an equally enthusiastic knight, but she could also see him, the essential Canas and all his boundless curiosity and zeal for learning, untouched by the brutality of battle.

She could see him, but Hugh couldn't. And so, Lily resolved to draw a picture of Canas before their son completely forgot what his own father looked like.

"Mama?" Hugh said after he watched her draw. Lily smiled and held up the picture.

"It's Papa, my snowball. See?" She wrapped an arm around his shoulders and pointed to the monocle the picture-Canas wore. "Papa."

Hugh stared. "Nooo," he said after a moment. Lily frowned.

"Of course it is. Look, see, Papa's smiling at you!"

Her frown only deepened as Hugh shook his head. "No Papa!" he yelled before hitting the paper with one small fist. Shocked, Lily dropped the drawing and grabbed Hugh's hand.

"No hitting!" she scolded, but in return her son began bawling. Sighing, Lily hugged him. "Hugh, I'm not angry at you, but you can't hit things. You'll either hurt someone or yourself, and Mama doesn't want either of those things to happen."

As she tried to comfort her son, the front door opened and Kelial appeared. "Hey, how's my favorite..." He stopped when he noticed Hugh sobbing against Lily's chest. "Uh, did he hurt himself?"

"No, he's just sensitive to being scolded."

"Oh. Why, what'd he do?"

"He hit the picture I drew for him for some reason."

"Picture? This?" Kelial reached down for the drawing on the table and brought it up to his face. He said nothing for so long that Lily began to worry that his injured leg was cramping and he was pretending that he wasn't really hurt, or something. Then he looked at her, his face solemn. "I thought we agreed that you wouldn't draw anymore. That's what I'm here for, remember?"

Lily frowned, insulted. "It doesn't have anything to do with you. I just wanted to draw a picture of Canas so that Hugh could remember his father's face."

"Oh, so that's...that's what this is. Huh. I kinda thought this here--" he showed her the picture and pointed at Canas' monocle, "--was supposed to be an eclipse."

"I don't know what an eclipse is," she retorted as she held Hugh, rocking him as his crying faded into some pathetic sobbing here and there.

"It's when the moon covers the sun," Kelial stated. "Though I guess this is in the earlier stages, where the moon's kinda just overlapping the sun but not completely."

Lily said nothing; her face revealed how irritated she felt.

"Aw, Lily...here, I'll draw him for you." Kelial sat down on the other couch and began to draw. Hugh began cuddling her, his head resting on her chest, and she absently stroked his hair as she watched Kelial sketch the shape of a head in quick strokes of the compressed charcoal she had been using before.

"So," he began after some time had passed, "where's he off to now? That army he's joined sure likes to travel around."

After a moment's hesitation, Lily closed her eyes. "Bern."

The sounds of charcoal against paper stopped. "Why Bern?"

"I don't know. He doesn't talk about that very much."

"Yeah? Huh." She opened her eyes and saw an odd weariness on Kelial's face, lines she was sure hadn't been there before the last winter. He began to draw again; as far as Lily could tell, he was working on the fringe of hair that fell just above Canas' eyes. "It's not like they're going to take over the country or anything. Lycia can't stand up to Bern's military might. It just isn't possible."

"Really?" asked Lily.

Kelial shrugged. "That's what we were taught when I was a kid. I don't believe in much, so I might as well have that. Bern's going to be in a new golden age sooner or later. We just need the right king."

Lily, who had never thought much about government systems beyond the fact that the Union seemed to do pretty well and that monarchies seemed to be either really good or really bad, could only shake her head. "What is 'the right king' for a place like Bern?"

"A strong king, one that knows what he's doing and takes care of our interests first. The king that was up on the throne when I was still in the military was, and probably still is, a weak king." Crumbling some of the charcoal, he began to smear it into the paper with his thumb. "I only met him once, at some function where all the generals try to look better than the others in front of the king, and all of us could tell that he wasn't good enough to lead us the right way. I mean, you told me some of the things Ilia's general had to say about the dangers of Bern, and that makes me angry. There shouldn't be any problems at all, but they're there and all the other countries see these weaknesses.

"And, I'm sorry, but there's no way an army led by Lycian kids, even if they are nobles, should be wandering through Bern, no matter how good they are. They should've been crushed already, either diplomatically or militaristically."

Hugh wiggled in Lily's lap as he played with strands of her hair; Lily could only hold him as she said to Kelial, "My husband is with them."

"Most of my siblings are probably still wyvern knights," Kelial said before dropping the charcoal stick. "There, done." He flipped the drawing so that it was facing her. "What do you think?"

Canas smiled at her in his normal placid way, even in the confines of a black-and-white sketch. Reminding herself that charcoal smeared, she jostled Hugh instead of reaching out to touch the picture. "Hugh, look, Uncle Kelial drew a picture of Papa."

"Papa?" Hugh repeated, looking up at her. Smiling, she picked up the drawing and waved it around until he noticed it. "Papa?" he asked her.

"Yes, Hugh." She kissed him on the side of his face and he smiled. "That's Papa."

Over the top of the paper, Lily watched Kelial stand up, a troubled expression on his face. "I've gotta go. Tinae wanted me to help with something, so..."

"Kelial..." Lily stood, unsure of what else she could say. "About what you were saying..."

"Forget it," Kelial said, his familiar lopsided grin in place. "I don't know what I was saying. It doesn't matter."

_Doesn't it? _Lily very nearly asked, but instead she smiled and let Kelial go on his way.

-0-

_ Dear Lily,_

_Forgive me for not keeping up on our correspondence, especially considering the fact that it is one-sided. Perhaps things might have been different had I not joined this army, but I do enjoy certain aspects of it. A lot has occurred since my last letter, but the specifics of which I cannot reveal to you just yet. Although we have not been sworn to silence, I fear that there are elements of our progress thus far (and will continue to be, if the trend follows) that would be rather fantastic, indeed too much so for those who are not serving in this army. I hope you will understand; I hope to be able to recall the complete tale of our journey when we see each other again. The whole of my experience is not to be taken from the toils of the battlefield, but rather while sharing meals at the campsite._

_And I must say, I have shared meals with quite a few interesting people! Lily, although I fear you may not believe me, Lord Pent is currently traveling with us, along with his wife, the lovely Lady Louise. Indeed, they have been assisting us for a while, since Nabata in fact, but during the campaign in Bern they have fought by our side. And would you believe that he has heard of us? Truly I would have never thought that I was particularly special in the field of magical studies, and certainly not so much that someone as esteemed as himself could recall anything about myself, but it appears he learned about us in the context of our marriage--that is to say, as a sage and a novice shaman. Perhaps it was relayed to him by one of your friends? He also knows of Mother, which surprised me only because Mother cares very little for anima, but he assured me that he quite enjoys studying elder magic. Lady Louise also professed interest, even though she is an archer of enviable skill; she confided in me that she was often his sounding board for his essays on the intricacies of anima and had thus learned quite a lot about magic that way._

_What surprised me was that Lord Pent confessed a lack of knowledge in your family's particular skill in magic. I discussed what I knew, which was admittedly little--the process still eludes me, I am afraid--and so he requested that I also enclose a note from him, which I have done--_

Lily didn't bother to finish the rest of that sentence, immediately digging into the envelope and fishing out the note that Lord Pent--_Lord Pent, _of all people!--sent to her. Her! There was a fluttery feeling in her stomach and a faintness of the mind that made her feel as if she had been drinking a couple cups of 'poor man's fire', and she loved it. The feeling only grew as she opened the folded note and there were his words, the elegant handwriting of that brilliant, amazing man who actually understand anima magic for what it was instead of what it could do and he had written to her--her!--and heat pooled in her belly and she might as well have been drunk.

It was the best feeling in the world. 

While she read the note--he was quite intrigued by the level of skill she must possess--she twirled a lock of hair around bandaged fingers as her cheeks and neck were inflamed with euphoric feelings that she couldn't name. It was a short note, a jab at communication, but she read sincerity in every word. Once she finished the note, she began to read it again, absorbing that wonderful feeling of simply being acknowledged by someone she highly respected.  
_  
This...this must be true happiness...!_

And then fingers clamped down upon the note, obscuring the elegant script like a blot of ink.

"Hey, pay attention! My son's wedding is more important than you blushing over your idiot husband's words!"

Lily stared at the thumb that cruelly cut off Lord Pent's modest introduction, making a sentence wondrous in its simplicity ( 'Your husband told me of your unique talent...') into something that sounded like he had less than perfect command of their shared language. Her gaze traveled upward along the arm to the shoulder, shoulder to neck, neck to chin to nose to eyes.

She didn't know why Tinae was recoiling from her, but her friend was doing that while jabbing a finger in her direction. "Wh-what the hell was that! You wanted to kill me!"

Brushing off the spot that Tinae's thumb had dented the page, Lily stood up and smiled. "I'm a little tired. It's hard work trying to make sure everything's all right in the village and raising a child. I think I'll take a nap. Please take care of Hugh for me." She turned to Rian and Mynthia, who were both giving her odd looks. "Let's talk later."

She hummed a nameless melody all the way home.

-0-

The next day, Lily finally pried her hands off of Lord Pent's note, took a deep breath, and continued reading the rest of Canas' letter. It helped that Lady Niime was sitting across from her; it was hard to build up any sort of glee around a woman that she was not on the best terms with.

_ Recently, we have gained two new 'soldiers' (if we all could be referred to in such a way) during a battle in a very sensitive location. I had the opportunity to talk to one of them, a sweet young girl called Nino, and I was quite horrified to find out that she was illiterate. She agreed when I inquired if she wanted me to teach her how to read, and I must say that she is quite the dedicated student! She is an anima user from Lycia and is an absolute delight to be around. It is strange, but she seems somewhat familiar. Then again, I have traveled enough in my lifetime that many familiarities are really only a matter of coincidence. However, I feel somewhat lightened; I must admit to a certain amount of homesickness, though the pouch of irial I found in the bottom of my clothing satchel was quite the pleasant surprise. I have been amusing myself by finding objects that I believe you or Hugh would like. There were some lovely highland lilies along the mountain pass that links Pherae to Bern, but the courier would not let me send them unless they were packaged. Also, I reasoned that they would not stay fresh during the trip to Ilia. But I truly believe you would have liked them._

"What does my son have to say?" Lady Niime asked, her hand resting on the back of Hugh's head as he napped on her lap.

_He wanted to send me flowers, _Lily nearly said before realizing that Lady Niime wouldn't care. "Oh, he's doing fine. He's still in Bern, I believe."

"Hm." To Lily's observant glance, Lady Niime seemed to have something on her mind. "Out of all the things he has done, I never imagined he would join a traveling army. He must be quite competent at wielding the darkness within him by now, or else he would have been overwhelmed by it when he first began his travels with that party. A strange twist, indeed."

_Maybe he's finally revealing just how strong he can be. That environment must be pushing him, and Canas is holding his ground. _Leaning back, she laid her hands on her lap and folded the letter. "Lady Niime, have you ever thought about teleporting to Canas?" she asked, curious. If she had such an ability, Lily couldn't say that she would leave things be.

The elderly woman nodded. "I would do so often during his first journey away from home, and often it would leave me despairing for the future of my bloodline." She chuckled, a dry, whispery sound. "In those days, he distanced himself from dark magic, I believe, in order to separate himself from his brothers' fate. And yet, could it be that all this time he had the perfect mindset to master the talent within him? It would be foolish to believe in something as indescribable as 'fate', and yet he has proven it. Perhaps it would have happened sooner if I had not interfered."

"Maybe he would've tried to become an anima user," Lily said, smirking. Lady Niime smiled.

"Then, I have you to thank for leading him onto the right path."

Lily only shook her head, but the smirk did not fall from her lips.

"If you had the ability, would you follow him?"

Lily's smirk only grew wider. "No. My life isn't on hold while I wait for him. I have things to do too."

There was a smile on Lady Niime's face. "I thought we were similar. I'm glad I wasn't mistaken."

The rest of Lady Niime's visit went by in comfortable silence.

-0-

The courier came in the early morning a few days later.

"May I help you?" Lily asked when she answered the door. Thinking that it was someone in the village needing medicine, she had only placed over her sleeping robes a fur she had laid on the bed for extra warmth during the night. Seeing a stranger at her doorstep startled her into wakefulness. "Would you like to come in?" she amended, embarrassed at her earlier rudeness.

"No Ma'am, just here to deliver this is all," the woman said in a strange accent. She wore a belted tunic over pants, and it was the pants that surprised Lily the most. She had never seen a woman wear pants without a skirt or dress over it before. It didn't help that the woman looked Ilian, with her dark blue hair and eyes, because Lily was beginning to think this was a retired pegasus knight now working as a courier.

"Thank you," Lily said as the courier handed her a letter. "How many days ago was this given to you?"

"Seems to be three days. The man who gave that to me told me to fly as fast as possible to get that to his wife, so I did." The woman shrugged. "Seemed desperate too, so I flew straight here instead of leaving it at one of the border towns for trainee knight pickup."

Lily's grip on the letter tightened. "Desperate?" she asked, and received a shrug in response.

"Sorry Ma'am, but I just deliver letters is all. This was in Ostia, if it helps."

"I see. Thank you." Lily opened the door a little wider. "Sure you don't want to come in and warm up?"

"No Ma'am, but I thank you for the offer. I've got to get back down 'fore someone thinks I've run off." After exchanging goodbyes, the courier walked off, clapping her hands at a pegasus. Lily closed the door and leaned on it before looking at the letter in her hand.

_ Canas, desperate? Why?_

She thought about making some tea to soothe her nerves, but didn't want to wait for the water to boil. Plus, Hugh was still learning how to sleep in his own bed and any noises from the front of the house were sure to wake him. Unnerved, she sat down on the couch closest to the door--Canas' favorite seat, she couldn't help but remember--and turned on the lantern before opening the envelope. There were no small surprises hidden inside, no seeds or notes, only a single page filled with Canas' handwriting. With anxiety creeping inside her stomach, she began to read.

_ Dearest Lily,_

_Forgive me. I fear this may be the end of our communication. Perhaps I should have told you the entire story as I learned of it instead of revealing all of it now, for there is precious little time we have here in Ostia before we must depart again for Valor. This was my mistake, but as I have little time to rectify it, I will summarize it as such: There is a powerful druid by the name of Nergal who seeks to do what no normal human could never conceive, for what he wants to do is to collect enough quintessence to open the portal between our world and the world that those dragons who were living at the end of The Scouring fled to in order to survive. He wishes to do this, it seems, in order to collect dragons' quintessence, but I am unsure of why. His stronghold is on Valor, and thus we must stop him before he carries out his plan. But he is not alone; he has used the quintessence of humans in order to create beings called morphs, soulless entities that follow their master's orders unto death._

_I should tell you, Lily, that I have been chosen as one of the few who will penetrate the inner sanctum of Nergal's fortress._

_This is, far and away, beyond anything I have ever imagined. Although I have learned much in the ways of elder magic, I still fear. I have never enjoyed conflict in any capacity. Even now, with all the battles I have endured, I still feel uneasy when I think of all those who have died from the energies that I control. Even for the sake of knowledge, in this aspect I feel as if I have gone too far. This heaviness rests on many of those among our number; it is there in their eyes, both young and old. Even if we are to say that we are in the right, does that make every death we have caused 'right'? I wonder this, and yet I wish to forget it. History as we learn it is a game of numbers and facts printed over and over again, without meaning. Once, Kelial berated me for my way of thinking. Today, I think he is right. What will occur, what has occurred, I truly wish it is forgotten. What can be learned here is only for those who have experienced it, not for those who would read the print, see the numbers of the fallen, and yet be able to close the tome at the end._

_I suspect you would find it strange, perplexing even, that I, a scholar, could feel this way. It almost sounds as if I am encouraging ignorance, but this is not so. I have learned quite a bit, not only from the tomes I have had the fortune to peruse and the people I have had the fortune to talk with, but also from simply living in such a situation. And when I think back on my experiences with this group, I think about you. How would you have chosen, how would you have lived were you here instead of me. One of the many traits I admire about you is your moral dedication to a cause. First and foremost, you would defend those you have sworn to protect. You have great compassion, and yet you are a woman who would fight until your last breath. I admit that I initially found that interesting because I lacked these traits. I have always lived for myself. It was just as well that we built a marriage on top of our combined interests and mutual feelings of friendship because I could not offer more; I did not know what was beyond that. But we grew together, have we not? I have learned from you and you from I. Because of that, I wish to see this through to the end. The horrors that Nergal intends to unleash will be felt all across Elibe, even to Corinth. You and Hugh will be threatened._

_I cannot accept that, Lily. Cannot and will not._

_I wish for you to know this, and to understand that this is what I must do. I accept that you will not be pleased by this news, but please try to understand. I may not return. Therefore, I am glad that you are there to raise our son. So long as you are there with him, I have no worries._

_Please tell Hugh that I miss him. And I miss you deeply._

For a long time, soft sobs were the only sound in the small sitting room as Lily hid her face in the fur she'd wrapped around herself and cried. The letter was held against her like it was her husband magically brought back to her, but even at a time like this she couldn't delude herself.

Now, more than ever, she had to be strong.

_ I'm proud of you, Canas. Do your best._

-to be continued-

See you next chapter.


	36. Home

Shadows Under the Oak Tree

(C) Intelligent Systems and Nintendo

-0-

36. Home  
(_Family matters. Circular lessons._)

There were no more letters.

Lily had expected this, of course, but it was still a shock to her when she realized that a week had passed without another bundle of pages marked front and back with her husband's angular, neat handwriting. If he were all right, she knew, he would write to her. It would be a priority to him, simply because he wouldn't be able to stand leaving her in perpetual worry. He was much too kind to do something like that, even with some of the things he had done because kindness wasn't his only trait. 

She knew that, out of necessity, she had to put it aside and focus on her life. She had a village to take care of and a son to raise. She had wonderful friends to impose on to watch her son for her while she ran around doing chores, and she paid them back with extra bags of tea and a willingness to listen. She had too many things to do and not enough daylight and lantern oil in which to finish them, and it was in this manner that one week melted into two.

_Hm. It's the same today. I can't feel his soul here._

She opened her eyes, taking in the view of the mountain before her. It had been too long since she had last climbed the mountain, but it was enough for her to stand at her parents' grave and commune with the spirits of Ilia. This place, moreso than in any other part of the village, was a place of love and respect. The spirits collected here, and while Lily's specialty was in the skillful use of her talent in anima, this was the best place to find out if her husband's soul had returned to his home. If it hadn't, she could still hold hope that he was still alive. 

She tried not to remember that Iris' soul had never returned to Ilia; Iris had always been looking towards the borders that separated Ilia from the other countries, so why would she return?

_But Canas has a home here. No matter what, he will definitely come back._

A sigh escaped from her parted lips as she closed her eyes. 

_And yet, we should've had longer. Even if I'm selfish, five years altogether isn't enough. I know that others have had less time to spend with their loved ones, but it's not enough. Not for everything we wanted to do for our country, not for our son, not for us..._

_I don't think a lifetime would be enough._

Opening her eyes, she bowed to the grave before her. "I'll visit again," she said, knowing all too well that the words were for her own benefit alone. She turned to leave, but then stopped as she saw Tinae carrying Hugh to where she stood. Worried, Lily hurried over to them. "Is something wrong?" she asked once she was within speaking distance. 

"Eh, it's nothing big," Tinae started to say as Hugh wriggled in her arms. She offered him to Lily, and as soon as Lily took him, he clutched her and buried his face in the crook of her neck, all while whining, "Mama, Mama."

Lily raised an eyebrow at this behavior; Hugh was affectionate, but usually more independent than this, even at his young age. "When you say nothing big, what does that mean?" she asked Tinae.

The smaller woman shrugged. "He was just a little bullied. Elysia pushed him down a couple times, but he kept getting up and ignoring her, so she sat on him."

"She sat on him."

"She's a little temperamental."

"More like bad-tempered." Lily adjusted her hold on Hugh as they began walking back to the village. "But at least she's not biting people anymore."

Tinae laughed. "It's hard to imagine she came from Jorah and Mina, isn't it? Then again, she's healthy enough to be what her sister can't..." It surprised Lily when Tinae seemed to let the sentence trail off, instead of adding at least one completely uncalled-for comment or insult. And yet, it made perfect sense once Lily thought about it--

_Pegasus knight_

--and so she kept quiet. 

"Do you think it's fair for a parent to choose which daughter to send up to Edessa?" Tinae wondered aloud moments later. "It's like condemning your child to death. But you wouldn't know, since all you have is a son."

Lily had to remember not to feel too insulted. "If Canas comes back, I wouldn't mind having another child," she said, thinking out loud. Tinae grinned at this, and Lily was quick to continue with, "As for your question, what else can we do? Rachel was always sickly when she was younger, while Elysia is healthier than most of the adults around here. If not, Rachel would have to leave this year." She glanced at Tinae, who was staring ahead with an odd look on her face. "Sami would be sad to see her go."

"Sami doesn't really remember Nikeah anymore." Tinae tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. "Isn't it sadder to see your sister leave than your friend?"

"Well, some of us are closer to our friends than our siblings," Lily reasoned.

"I guess you'd know."

Lily said nothing.

After a few steps, the sound of snow crunching beneath their feet only accentuating the uncomfortable quiet between the two friends, Tinae coughed. "Sorry. I've been having bad dreams lately and I just feel so...I don't know."

"Do you want to tell me?" Lily asked, her voice as soft as freshly falling snow. Hugh seemed to like this, because he snuggled against her even more.

"It's stupid, but I sometimes dream of fog surrounding some land in the middle of an ocean. Then, there's the sound of flying arrows." After a moment, Tinae continued with, "I don't know, but I keep waking up and crying."

_A foggy island?_ Lily thought. _That sounds familiar._ Out loud, she said, "I understand that you're worried about Nikeah, especially now that she's in a wing. I'll write to General Cassandra, all right?"

Tinae smiled, but to Lily it seemed dull, a formality for a woman who didn't know the meaning of the word. "It's fine. Either way, I'll get a letter that you can read to me." She shook her head. "I've got to go. I'm helping Rian and Mynthia clean up their new house. It still has the fire burns from that invasion, but we'll get it cleaned up before the wedding." 

Nodding, Lily waved. Hugh, who was naturally curious, noticed and began to mimic his mother, a trait that Lily still found endearing. "Sure. Let me know if you need any help!"

_Strange_, she thought after Tinae had run ahead. _Even now we're reusing the houses where our neighbors and friends were killed. I understand that we need to use all we have, but it's amazing how things cycle. Humans are so good at moving on._

_ Would I be able to, if Canas is...gone? Out of necessity, I'm sure, but is there something even more final than that?_

"Mama?" Hugh asked, pulling away from her to tug on a stray lock from her pinned-back hair. Lily smiled, a reflex.

"Before we have lunch, let's check on the roof. I'm afraid the rafters may be rotting in some areas," she suggested.

" 'Kay," Hugh said, then proceeded to ignore her in favor of her hair. Rolling her eyes, she continued to examine what she could see of her roof.

_Ugh, I'm going to need to ask Gouterry to help me replace some of the roof. Wouldn't want the roof to cave in if we ever have blizzards like the ones last winter--_

Hugh whined. It sounded like his 'put me down' whine, so she did just that while keeping her eyes fixed on any trouble spots she could see. _It's worse than I imagined_, she thought, _this is going to be quite the trade. Five, six spots I can see from here. If Canas were here, this would be easier since he's taller._

She heard footsteps that weren't quite like her young son's own, but distracted as she was, she only said, "Hugh, please don't run away. I need to memorize the spots so that I can draw a picture for Gouterry." 

"Mama," Hugh said, startling her because she hadn't realized how close he was to her. _I thought he walked away?_ she wondered. The footsteps were louder now, and it sounded like two or three people--_Tinae, Kelial, and someone else?_ "Look."

"I don't know, Hugh, I've seen your Auntie Tinae enough to know that she's not that interesting," she teased, more for the reaction from Tinae than anything else. It would at least allow her friend to forget her worries for a time. But when Tinae didn't instantly respond with an insult, or anything else, Lily grew concerned and turned around. 

And stared.

She supposed it was her fault, she would later think, that she had never daydreamed about what she would do when she first saw Canas again. Reunions needed a certain amount of planning to be smoothly spontaneous. In the week after his last letter, she probably would've burst into tears if he had suddenly appeared, the emotions coiling within her having been almost impossible to hide at even the calmest of times. That would've been embarrassing for the both of them; Canas didn't handle tears well, and it was messy and awkward and she knew she would look back and think _but I smiled as I watched him leave, but when he comes back I cry? What a way to send the wrong message._

It might not have been uncalled for her to run up to him and hug him, but one-two-three heartbeats later she realized she had been staring in surprise too long to make that look natural. And it had to be natural, because for some reason Canas had brought companions with him, a young girl and a man in indecent clothing, and now her surprise was beginning to give way to a happy, warm confusion. 

_That girl..._

It was times like these that she appreciated Hugh's curiosity, because he toddled over to his father. "Papa?" he asked, and Lily was never happier that Kelial had drawn that picture for Hugh. 

Canas, who had been staring at her with a look that she felt more or less mirrored her own joyful befuddlement--it was good to know that she wasn't the only one who had no idea how to react in a reunion scene--glanced down and smiled at their son. "Hello, Hugh," he said, crouching down to Hugh's level. Lily could only see her son's back from where she stood, so she didn't know why Canas lifted a hand to pat Hugh on the head but stopped. She took a few steps towards them, unsure of what Hugh was going to do. It would be really embarrassing for all of them if Hugh started crying.

Their son reached up with small hands and grabbed his father's much larger hand between his own. Lily still couldn't tell what Hugh's expression was, but after a moment of studying Canas' hand, whatever was on Hugh's face made Canas smile fondly in return. "Hi, Papa," Hugh said, the smile clear in his voice.

Lily didn't want to approach, didn't want to disrupt the scene in front of her. She only wanted to admire father and son, together again. Glancing at her husband's companions, she found her gaze drawn to the young girl again, which was strange when the man that hovered next to the girl was more...she wasn't sure there was a polite term. He had so much exposed skin, from the entirety of his arms to his bare stomach, that she predicted pneumonia in a week, if he was lucky. The tanned skin, spiky red hair, and interesting black drawings on the muscle just under the curve of his shoulders were just interesting little tidbits.

But the girl looked like Iris.

_I should invite them in. That man might as well have a sign that says 'please give me frostbite.'_ "Welcome back, Canas," she said, then promptly felt like hitting herself for saying such a bland, impersonal greeting. He looked up at her, a hesitant smile on his face. Deciding to make it up to him later, she turned to the girl and the man and bowed. "Welcome. Please, why don't you come inside? You must be, um, cold," she said, trying not to stare at the strange man while she said that. It was just as well, considering that he was staring past her, or something. Meanwhile, the girl was staring right at her with what had to be one of the cutest smiles she had ever seen.

"Ah, forgive me, I've been remiss in my introductions," Canas said, standing up with Hugh in his arms. "Lily, this is Nino and Jaffar. Nino, Jaffar, this is my wife." 

"Please call me Lily," she said with a smile, a large part of her wondering why the girl--Nino--all but sparkled in response. The strange man Jaffar was still not quite looking at her, something with which she could sympathize. After all, she wouldn't want to talk if she was cold. "Anyway, shall we go inside?"

"Er, actually...first, there is something you must see, just to satisfy our curiosity." For some reason, Canas seemed either excitable or nervous, or a combination of both. This made Lily wary. "Nino, if you could show my wife the contents of your locket?"

"Oh! Um..." Nino began searching the pouch that was strapped around her waist, a flutter of concentration on her face.

Lily watched as Jaffar pulled out something with a long gold chain from his pocket. "Nino," he said with almost no inflection in his tone; it sounded to Lily's ears as if there was no life there. Suddenly, she wasn't sure if she wanted him in her house. But when Nino took the locket from him with a cheerful, "Thanks, Jaffar!" Lily couldn't help but notice the softening in his eyes as he nodded in acknowledgment.

When Nino turned to her, there was an odd brightness to the girl's already lively blue eyes. "Um, there's something...something I have to show you. It's a picture, a picture of my real family." Short nails scrabbled at the hinge of the locket instead of the indentation that was the locket's opening, and Lily, who now felt a looming sense of nervousness over her, placed her hands around Nino's.

"Your real family?" she asked, not daring to hope, not even letting herself think about the implications of that one utterance. She stroked the backs of Nino's small hands with her thumbs. "Here, let me do this." Lily could feel Nino's eyes on her as she examined the trinket. There were odd stains, brownish and patterned as if flecks of some liquid fell onto the tarnished gold. She couldn't delude herself; it was blood. Shrugging the thought aside, Lily edged her thumbnail within the indentation and pried the locket open.

It was an old, faded picture, all black lines. It reminded her of the picture Kelial drew of Canas, its detail exquisite in such a small size. There was a family, but Lily couldn't place any of the people in the picture.

"Oh..."

Save the woman who held a baby in her arms.

There were words carved into the opposite side of the interior of the locket, but she didn't need to read them to know her name.

"Iris..."

It couldn't be. Lily had believed that she was the last of her family for such a long time, that she was all that was left of what was a proud line of anima users dating back from The Scouring itself. Unless Hugh took up anima, or perhaps a future child of hers, she was it.

The letter sent by the maid said that everyone had been murdered. And yet, all Lily had to do was to look down, past her hands, to see a girl with hair as bright as summer grass and bright blue eyes.

Just like her own sister.

"You...you said my mother's name," Nino said, her eyes blurry with tears. Or was that Lily's own? "Then it's like what Ca--Uncle Canas said. You're my aunt."

By all the spirits, the tears were her own. Lily wiped them away with the back of her bandaged hand even as she grinned. "Yes," she managed out, giving up on her eyes to embrace the girl in front of her. Nino hugged her back so tightly that it hurt, but Lily wouldn't give up that feeling for anything.

_Who would've thought that I would not only get my husband back, but a niece as well?_

-0-

_What a pleasant feeling it is to be home._

While everyone else went to bed, Canas sat in his favorite place and, with the aid of a lantern, read a tome on the properties and ethics of magical experimentation. The lingering aroma of the delicious, filling dinner, the first he had had since departing from Ostia in the midst of the celebrations, only heightened his contentment. And the atmosphere of the dinner itself, with Lily and Nino conversing quite animatedly with each other and on occasion including himself and Jaffar into the discussion, was really very wonderful. But even before dinner, friends and neighbors had been visiting in a steady stream all day, most of them congratulating him on returning home (though it seemed no one knew of the specifics besides the fact that he had joined an army) and talking to Nino. Most of the children who had arrived with their parents tended to spend their time staring at Jaffar until he happened to glance in their direction; then they would hide behind their parents. Some children made it into a game of sorts, and Canas was unable to deduce exactly, or even approximately, how Jaffar felt about this. 

It had been quite a busy day, and therefore he had been unable to spare more than a few pleasantries' time with Lily, though he was unsure if she was being standoffish on top of being inordinately busy preparing the more domestic arrangements. He was not necessarily bothered, only surprised.

_But it is really quite all right_, he thought as he turned the page. _After all, little Nino's appearance would be much more overwhelming than my own. It would be no more different if it were Lord Pent._

There was something off on his reasoning, he knew that much, but, unable to form the proper argument, he simply mentally shrugged and went back to the fascinating world of magical ethics. 

"I hope I'm not interrupting anything."

He glanced up from the tome; at the entrance of the hallway that led to the inner rooms stood Lily, who appeared to be holding a bundle of something in her arms. "No, not at all," he said with a smile. As she approached, he realized that the bundle in question appeared to be a pelt of fur.

The light of the lantern illuminated the smile on her face. "I thought you might like some company. We haven't had the chance to talk very much today, and since Hugh is sleeping well, well..." She giggled, the sound light and airy. "May I?"

"Certainly," he said, moving aside so that she could sit down beside him. She did so, her leg pressed against his, before spreading the pelt across their laps. Out of politeness--and the fact that the tome was not that interesting, not compared to his wife--he set the tome aside before focusing his attention on her.

He had thought of her throughout his journey; in fact, one could say she had been like a constant presence, a voice of reason in unreasonable times. Whenever he had considered something that was at least somewhat questionable, he could imagine her chiding him for even thinking about it. It occurred most during certain situations, such as foraging for food ("If it looks poisonous, you shouldn't even nibble at it. No, really.") and general health ("You have to wait until your clothes dry before putting them on. Do you really want to catch a cold, especially after finishing off the medicinal tea just because you wanted to enjoy your new tome on a cold night?"). It was also more appreciated than his mother's lessons ringing in his ear during the heat of battle, for many obvious reasons.

However, it was after he decided to follow Lord Eliwood when he began to realize just how well Lily's practical nature lent itself to the moral quandaries that lay before him. He had never enjoyed battle, never found solace in his own ability to wield elder magic. But to think of it in a logical manner, he needed to survive. He could not protect the friends he had made if he thought about the situation at hand too much, and he would not be able to see his family if he simply let himself become swept away by the dark energies locked inside the elder magic tomes or himself. On the battlefield, there was no time allotted for discourse, only for action. And off the battlefield, he observed the others as they made friends, strengthened bonds, and found love, and he realized a very simple, very fundamental need.

Everyone needed somewhere, or someone, to belong.

And so, having already known where his home was, he fought so that he could return. Because of this, he had never considered himself a hero. His actions in Valor helped save the continent, but all he could think about was protecting his family; his quest for knowledge had led him home.

"You didn't write," she said, her tone fairly chastising. He stared at her profile, disbelieving what he had just heard.

"You didn't receive any of my letters?"

She glanced at him. "I must have missed the one that said that you were still alive after your strange battle, and that you were bringing guests."

"Ah...yes, well..." He blushed. After the final battle, the last week and a half had been little more than a blur. There were many celebrations, first in Pherae, then in Caelin, and he personally still had a bit of a headache from Ostia, which he supposed he could consider as a sort of going-away gift. "That is to say...it was quite hectic." It was a poor defense, he could see that in her arched eyebrows and pursed lips, but she only shook her head and looked away from him. "But we were able to arrive far ahead of schedule, due to the fact that the pegasus knights of our group were also heading to Ilia."

"...I was beginning to think you were dead. I was already settling into the mindset of a lifelong widow, all because you were too busy enjoying your parties to send a letter." She sounded more exasperated than anything else, and he nervously chuckled when she glared at him. "Canas, if you can't be more responsible, what makes you think I'll let you go next time?"

_My, she certainly sounds more motherly than before_, he thought but was not suicidal enough to say. Instead, he nodded in an agreeable manner. "I don't intend to leave," he stated.

An odd look crossed her face. "Oh?" 

"Er..." he started, unsure of how to interpret a single utterance, "I...unless you would like me to?"

"You'll have to fight me first before I let you leave."

"Mm, I see. I suppose I should stay, then."

There was a moment of silence before they both began to laugh quietly. The lantern flame flickered, and Canas realized it was low on fluid. Before he could make a suggestion or rise to retrieve some more, Lily leaned against his arm. "You've changed, I can tell. I guess it was good for you to go, wasn't it?"

"I suppose," he commented, wrapping his arm around her shoulders. "It had its merits, as well as its downsides. Yet, I would admit that it was a necessary experience."

"I could tell just by your letters," she said, and as she smiled the light played upon her face as the flame of the lantern flickered again. "I don't really understand what had happened, but I'm really proud of you, Canas."

Suddenly, like a kick to the abdomen, he felt regretful. "I should have written more of them. Or, at least, I should have been less secretive, instead of burdening you with everything in my last letter." Even as he said this, he wondered if he would have done so, given another chance. There had been many terrible events he had viewed, and something inside of him had wanted to spare his wife from learning of such depressing, as well as increasingly common, incidents

He watched Lily as she reached up, towards the hand he had on her shoulder, and placed her own hand over his. "Don't look like that. I'd rather have you here than all those words. After all," she said as she looked away from him, her profile even more evident by the dimming glow of the lantern, "sometimes the words just get in the way."

The reference was obvious. "Lily, about that--"

"After Nino leaves, we'll talk about it. Hugh, and..." She shook her head. "We'll talk about all that later. But right now, I just want to enjoy the moment."

He smiled, relieved; he could certainly agree with her logic. "As you like. In the meanwhile, although you seem to feel otherwise, I could recount some of the more interesting events that had occurred during our more relaxed periods. Perhaps something about Lord Pent?"

The sound of Lily's soft laughter was lovely in the darkening room. "Oh, Canas, that's so sweet of you. But I'd rather not talk about Lord Pent tonight...some other time, for sure. But right now, I'd just like to sit here with you."

"Oh," he said, pleasantly surprised. "Well. All right, Lily."

They sat together even as the lantern light finally flickered out and surrendered to the darkness of the night, but Canas was unable to find it in himself to find some more lantern oil, or to even move. Even surrounded by the darkness, what he knew was that Lily was beside him once again after almost half a year apart, and that made everything all right. He knew that there were still issues they had to work through, and doubtless they would continue to have their disagreements.

But here, now, all Canas cared to think about was that he was finally home.

-to be continued-

Haa...well, all that's left is the epilogue. As I have a tradition of not writing notes of any kind in epilogues, I'll put my final comments here. 

First of all, the chapter-specific things. This final chapter presumes that the following support levels were reached: Canas/Nino A, Nino/Jaffar B, and Jaffar/Legault A. And considering last chapter, Canas/Pent B. If you don't feel like looking up the Support FAQ or the game, this roughly means:

-Canas and Nino were able to discover the possibility that Nino's mother is Lily's sister. Although they don't have an ending (I'll go into why a little later), it'd make sense that they'd find out if it's a matter of coincidence or not.

-Nino and Jaffar had their 'best friend' talk, where Nino gives him her locket...um, just suppose that it happens after Canas/Nino A.

-Jaffar and Legault had their talk where Jaffar declares that he intends to live with Nino, which means that he's going to follow her even up to Ilia.

Unfortunately, the artbook makes it clear that Canas and Nino have no actual connection, meaning that it is a matter of coincidence. However, since I'd started that plot thread in chapter one, I had a vested interest in maintaining it. Of course, I got the artbook shortly afterward, but whatever. If you care about other canon connections, you can check out the homepage link in my profile; I translated the character map for FE7 and put it up there.

So. A year and a half ago, when I first started this somewhat-biweekly serial, I stated that this wasn't a love story. Now, I'm not so sure. Maybe it's a love story where love isn't an explicit confession, but rather something that has to be grown into. Perhaps it's just a story about two people who could be fine by themselves but give each other the inspiration to change themselves and, in some ways, the world around them. Or it's about the changing conditionals of relationships. But probably it's a fanfic about a character that most people seem to really like using in-game but regulate to bit parts (and give him a book to keep him occupied) in fic because, well, that's what the game more or less gives us. I don't know, and it probably doesn't matter.

What--or should I say who--does matter are all the people who have read and reviewed, or simply read (hopefully if you've reviewed you actually bothered to read what you were reviewing). I was floored from the very beginning, and I'm incredibly honored that even one person would click on this story. It's even more of an honor that many of you have given me your encouragement, your honest opinions, and a lot of great advice. I'd especially like to thank Gunlord500 in this regard, as it's thanks to him that I can go back and edit past chapters even further, making the second read-through even better than the first!

Finally, I'd like to thank myself, since, wow, a year and a half of somewhat regular updates. No, I'm kidding!

Thank you for reading, thank you for all of your help, and the epilogue will definitely be up on Thursday, April 12th!


	37. The Final Goodbye

Shadows Under the Oak Tree

(C) Intelligent Systems and Nintendo

Note: I'm very sorry for this delay; if it weren't for Gunlord's help I would've never figured out how to surpass the glitch in uploading and get this posted! Also, please expect a continuation of an old story in May.

Note 2: This is based off of Canas' ending. Please don't shoot the messenger.

-0-

Epilogue: The Final Goodbye

Ilia, as one of the largest countries on the continent of Elibe, was much more complex than its snow-capped peaks and cruel winters suggested. Western Ilia, which bordered with Etruria, was more temperate compared to the other regions in the country, to the point that the snow on the ground often gave rise to flowers and a few hardy crops in the summer and early autumn. The central region was heavily forested with firs and other great evergreens. In the east of the country stood Edessa, the capital, headquarters of the Union, and the largest port Ilia had to offer. And finally, to the north were the hinterlands, where a few scattered villages managed to linger despite many people migrating towards the more populated villages and towns in the south. However, what all Ilians shared was the experience of surviving through the winter; sometimes, it was little more than an annoyance, but in other years the winter winds began biting through layered clothes with all the force of starved wolves as the snow blotted their world a crisp, deathly white. 

As a people, they lived an existence not unlike a groundhog's, hidden within their homes for an entire season without complaint. Their homes were built to withstand the winds and seal in all the heat they could create from their great stone hearths, and even the villagers themselves, due to a combination of living in such conditions as well as a single-minded stubbornness, bore the same stoicism towards the winter. After all, it was bound to occur, and the most difficult part about it after a while was the sheer boredom of being cooped up in the house with the same people for almost half a year. Yet there was a limit to what the people could bear, even in snow-blinded Ilia.

Two winters after the end of the world was neatly averted--though very few outside of its saviors knew that--winter came to northern Ilia like it was the end of the world.

It was not winter as the hinterland Ilians knew it; it was nature waging war upon them for a transgression that could never be appeased. It was vicious winds hurled like spears as they buffeted oak trees and caused their branches to bend, then snap as if they had offered no resistance at all. It was snow, piled so high that it was packed against doors, threatening to push even harder against already stressed hinges. It was the strange, suspicious creaking that sturdy houses were making that their inhabitants could not figure out; was it their roofs, ready to cave in from ever-increasing amounts of snow, or were their roofs being torn, shingle by shingle, by the force of the winds? Throughout the hamlets that dotted what was fast becoming an uninhabitable tundra, fear crept with each day that resolutely marched deeper into what they all feared was their last winter.

Something had to give.

-0-

"It's getting worse." 

"Is that so? Your sensitivity to the spirits has certainly grown, considering that we're indoors."

"Mm-hm. It's the 'calm before the storm', but it's ready to break. It's so oppressive."

"I see. That's certainly true. Even for Ilia, I can't recall a worse winter."

Niime listened to her son and his wife as they had what seemed like the same conversation they had been having for the last few days. She didn't even know why she had decided to stay in Ilia this winter; it would figure that, after purging the darkness from within her other sons and letting them die natural deaths as a result, she would have been struck by a twinge of sentimentality and want to stay with her remaining son's family, but it did not mean that she should have. If she had known that she would be trapped with them and their eternally-looping conversations as one of the worst blizzards in Ilian history flattened the village, she would have spent her winter in Lycia, even if the rainy weather made her joints ache.

Her patience having been splintered by the droll conversation on the other side of the table, Niime rolled her eyes as she reached for her cup of tea. "And what are you two going to do about it?" she asked, just for the change of pace.

There was silence. Niime took her time enjoying her tea before putting her cup down. As a mother, she knew what silence to an innocuous question meant, and that was never good. She made sure to stare at each of them, even their son, until they felt sufficiently guilty before she spoke again. "My, what's this? It seems that an elderly woman can't expect her only family to even politely reply to a simple question. How strange. Perhaps I've become invisible at my age?"

"Ah, no, that's certainly not the case, Mother. Actually, your question happened to coincide with something that Lily and I were discussing earlier," her son was quick to say, just like she knew he would. This was mostly because she had taught him not to try his mother's patience, along with the fact that her grandson was sniffling and pressing his face into his mother's side, whining that he didn't do anything.

_Such a soft child_, she thought with a mixture of amusement and exasperation. _I don't know how his parents can stand to coddle him so._

"Oh? And what would that be?"

Her son and his wife shared a look. "Lady Niime," the latter began, and to her credit the young woman's tone of voice was steady, "Canas and I have been talking about what we should do. This weather is unbearable and I know that others are suffering. We've been waiting for an opening like tonight. If we don't take advantage of it now, people are going to die. Maybe because of an avalanche, or a roof caving in from the weight of the snow on a rotted beam, or because they're trapped inside their houses."

_Such sentimentalism_. Niime could think of worse offenders, including a man who could only forgive his sister's murderers instead of doing the right thing and avenging her, but at the moment she could only arch an eyebrow in disbelief. "Hmph. I wouldn't fault you for caring about your neighbors, but you'll just have to accept that there's nothing to be done now. Surely a sage would know better than to challenge nature itself."

"I truly wonder if it's quite that simple." Niime glared at her son for his impertinence, to which he quickly shook his head. "Ah, well, perhaps that was a bit hasty of me to say. That is, humanity as a race has reached this modern era, with all its conveniences and advances in many areas, not through simply yielding to adverse circumstances, but rather by working around or through these obstacles. Even the improvements in our own understanding of elder magic can be attributed towards the indomitable will and desire for knowledge. Our need to shape the weather is much in the same vein."

"Is that so? And how will you go about doing this, child? Do you think the spirits will agree to stop the snow if she asks nicely?" Shaking her head, Niime wondered, not for the first time, how this son of hers had ended up the way he had. She didn't remember raising him to be so annoyingly idealistic. "There is a difference between optimism and foolishness. Surely you would know this at your age."

"That difference is the wyvernstone," said the sage, brimming with all the overconfidence of a male teenaged sword-user. In her youth, Niime had strung along enough of those types to know such stupidity when she saw it. To make her mood worse, even her own son was smiling at the mere mention of this wyvernstone, which she knew was some sort of spell-storage project and not much else.

"And where will you be using this wyvernstone?"

"Oh, well, we would have to invoke it at Mount Athene for the widest range. It's really quite a fascinating theory that we had first outlined during the summer--"

"You'll die for your folly," Niime said, and silence followed her statement.

Her son and his wife shared another look, longer this time. After a few moments, they glanced at her. "We're aware of that, Lady Niime," was all her son's wife could offer.

_Fools, all of them._ Niime narrowed her eyes, focusing on the young boy who sat huddled between his mother and father. "I doubt you're aware of much at all. Have you even thought about what your deaths would mean for the son you'll leave behind?"

Before either of the two could come up with an answer, much less a suitable one, their son chose this moment to tug on their sleeves. "Mama, Papa, what's death?"

"Hm, well, that's a good question, Hugh," his mother said while glancing at her husband. However, Niime knew that her son was all but useless in uncomfortable situations such as this one; even now he looked more helpless than his own son, who was not even five. The sage seemed to realize this because she returned her attention to her son. "Death is something that happens to everyone. It's, um, like sleeping forever, except that your soul returns home. Since everyone dies, the most important thing is living your life to the fullest and dying without any regrets, or for the right thing."

"Oh. Is it bad?"

"That would be...purely a subjective perspective. But I suppose that, if you passed on--er, died--for a good reason, then it would be...satisfactory." Niime sighed; what was she listening to? And from her own son, no less. As if the reasons they were espousing truly mattered beyond themselves and a few others.

Her grandson yawned. "Oh. Okay."

"Let's get you to bed, hm? Papa and I will tuck you in together, all right?" With those words, mother, father and child stood up and left the sitting room. Her grandson twisted around to look at her before they disappeared down the hall.

"Good night, Grandma!"

Niime could only sigh again before reaching over and taking a sip of her now-cold tea. There was no use in saying anything; she, at least, would see him in the morning. She wouldn't get in the way of what could be his last memory of his parents.

She could not fathom what her son and his wife were thinking. Did they see themselves as heroes? The thought sickened her, and she had to wonder if that was because of the innate stupidity that resided in their plan--stop nature from running its intended course, _indeed_--or because it was her own blood and kin who were so determined to die.

Perhaps she could understand, just a bit--she wanted to save them from committing this mistake. And it was a mistake, there was no doubt about that; they were young, both only thirty-one and assured to live decades longer. They had the mindset that young people so often did, that need to change the world for the better. Of course they would learn in time to mind their own business, that they couldn't save everyone, but obviously such a thought hadn't occurred to either one of them yet. 

She thought about all the things she could say, all their plans for the future that she could use against them to stop them from this one foolish mistake. Her son and grandson were to visit a friend of the family in Etruria the next summer. Her son's wife regularly expected letters from her relative in Lycia. If only they had been expecting another child...but that didn't seem likely now.

Niime laughed, a dry little bark of cynicism. _Perhaps I'm just as sentimental._

Leaning back, she closed her eyes. She had managed to doze, even with the light from the hearth and the lanterns, when she heard two distinct voices as they drifted closer to her. 

"Oh, it seems Mother is asleep."

"That's too easy. That wasn't nearly enough lecturing."

Opening her eyes, Niime glared at the two offenders, who were already putting on heavy cloaks. "I can certainly give you more, whether you like it or not."

"Ah, Mother, that's unnecessary," her son said as he adjusted his monocle. "We've already made our decision. If it's true that the magic stored within the wyvernstone can be used to warm the ground, then perhaps it can also be used to...do whatever needs to be done to balance the weather."

"You don't know what you're even going to do," Niime said, her tone dry.

Her son's wife shook her head. The wyvernstone glowed a faint crimson in her hands. "We won't know until we get there. If there's an avalanche, we use this to melt the snow. If it's a matter of winds, or cold, we can use this power to negate that."

"Surely you understand the price of using power you can't even understand." To Niime, who lived a life of wielding a magic even she could not claim more than a partial understanding of, she couldn't begin to understand how these two could be so blasé. "If it isn't used perfectly, you'll be obliterated. Even if you created this, such power does not differentiate between its creators and everyone else. Are you truly comprehending this?"

Her son was staring at his hand. "This power, if used incorrectly, can destroy the world. You said this about elder magic, but it is certainly true of all the schools of magic. And yet, my brothers and I learned to wield this power...and suffer the consequences." He glanced at her, his head bowed. "I have used this power to harm others. I have killed in the heat of battle to protect myself and others. However, all I have ever wanted to do was to help others with the knowledge I have gleaned from my experiences."

It surprised Niime that her 'daughter' was so quiet; perhaps her will had weakened. "And yourself, Lily. Your dream was a green Ilia, correct? But if you die here, using that stone that you had created as your hope, what does that mean for the future of your dream? It would be shortsighted to die now and possibly save a few, instead of waiting this storm through and continuing to achieve your dream."

The young woman said nothing. Niime knew that she was the key; her son had spoken with conviction, but Niime knew that he would do as his wife wished. Also, she had a feeling that the wyvernstone could only be used by the two of them together. But, more than that, this single decision had a weight even Niime could not deny.

This could be Ilia's future.

"...I can't."

Her son touched his wife's shoulder. "Lily?"

"I can't just sit here," she said, her voice stronger. "You are right, Lady Niime. A few deaths here, but I could potentially save all of Ilia. Logically, that's an excellent tradeoff." She shook her head. "But this is my home. Those few deaths will belong to my neighbors and friends. Every death that I could have prevented has a weight that I don't think I can bear."

"Because you're weak, you'd follow this path," Niime said. Her son stared at her, his eyes wide with surprise. His wife only nodded.

"Maybe it's weak, but all I can see is what's right in front of me." She bowed, hair falling over her shoulders. "Please take care of Hugh for us."

Niime frowned, more resentful of her own powerlessness than the last request. "At my age, the last thing I want around me is another child to take care of. Very well. I'll make him into the finest shaman in all of Elibe."

They looked uneasy to her; she hoped so, even if it wasn't enough to make them stay. She wanted them to question if it was the right thing to do, even if was only for a few moments. Perhaps those moments would mean something to them.

"...Even so, I would feel much if we entrusted Hugh to you," her son said, although his gaze was fixed on his wife's face. "Perhaps we seem like uncaring parents, but I feel that we must do something. We have the power to do something, and so we must try."

His wife nodded. "Hugh deserves a good life, no matter what. After all, we're also doing this for him. This house is also a target of the storm."

As if affirming their words before Niime, her son reached out for his wife's hand. She watched their fingers entwine and realized that they had been determined to do this from the very beginning. Nothing she could have said would have gotten through the layers of foolish noble values insulating their minds. She could see their idealism, that almost childish innocence that led them to believe that what they were doing was the right thing, but there was more than that. In her youngest son, there was that pleasant, inoffensive kindness lifting up the corners of his lips in a small smile; in her 'daughter', muted righteousness smoldered in her steady gaze.

They didn't look like heroes to Niime; they lacked that sort of self-awareness. Instead, before her stood two people who knew what needed to be done and were willing to do it.

No matter the cost.

Their goodbyes were muted. Niime, despite all the death she had seen throughout her life, could not say very much as her only son and his wife left to face almost certain death.

So she sat there, facing the door, and waited.

-0-

Niime rarely dreamed. The dreams of someone who used dark magic could drive the weak-minded into madness, but she had conquered those fears long ago. Hovering between the waking world and the realm of sleep, she reached out with all her senses, her breathing shallow as she waited. 

Outside, she could hear the wing howling, the herald to announce the coming of another storm.

She rarely dreamed, but in the darkness behind her closed eyes she could clearly see two lights. By their auras, a healthy purple and warm orange, they were her son and his wife. She could see these lights as they began to grow, blotting out the darkness. The edges of the lights blurred, then seemed to merge and form into one giant luminescence that obliterated the darkness. Its strength was undeniable, a force of nature in and of itself that could challenge even the umbra that was the source of dark magic.

Then, like a candle being blown out, it vanished, leaving only a haunting emptiness inside her.

Outside, the wind could no longer be heard.

-end-


	38. The Way Home AU

The Way Home

(C) Intelligent Systems and Nintendo

For the 111 people who have favorited Shadows Under the Oak Tree over the last six years, and the 32 people who still have this on Story Alert since the epilogue was posted five years ago. I've gotta ask, did you really believe you'd ever get an alert for this story ever again?

Summary: (AU) After nearly three years away Hugh returns home with an army in tow, to his mother's immense displeasure and his father's surprise. It would've been nice if he'd thought to send a letter first...or ever.

Part I: Walled Gardens, Poisoned Lilies

"Huh...being back here is kinda..."

Hugh didn't want to say 'nostalgic', but the feeling, like an echo of his heartbeat, was there anyway even as he searched for another word. Ilia was his homeland, true, and he didn't hate the bitter winds of the hinterland country where he came from, but it all was nothing like Etruria, the land where he had spent the last three years. The bright sunlight was better than the endless days of Ilian summers, the many festivals more exciting than just having the Festival of the Ice Dragon to look forward to every year, and then there were the girls and the gold and the opportunities...

But he didn't hate Ilia. Being here, even while in the company of an expansive army like the Etrurian Army, was almost kinda nice.

"Wonder how Mom's doing..."

This thought, spoken aloud, lingered as he meandered throughout the camp, but he didn't dare add on to it. If he did, he'd be tempted to ask Grandma, and ever since he'd noticed her around that boy Roy (otherwise known to Hugh as 'his employer', 'that noble kid', and 'that absolute sucker haha did I really get ten grand in gold from him')...well, y'know. Even after three years away she still looked the same (read: one hell of a scary-ass bitch) and that was good enough for him. If something happened to Mom, Grandma would seek him out. If something happened to Dad, not so much unless the two were talking again, but since Dad rarely said anything more substantial than greetings to Grandma since Hugh was about seven...yeah, not about to happen.

That was fine with Hugh. He didn't get along that well with Dad either. Just one of those things.

"...best plan is to march straight onto Edessa, correct?"

"Yes, though the land route is such that we'll have to expect another battle."

"If this was a more temperate country like Lycia or Etruria that would be manageable, but the cold climate makes it difficult for everyone to regain their strength no matter how long we make camp for..."

"Hm, yes, that _is_ the natural result of fighting a war in Ilia in the winter."

Hugh smirked at his grandma's comment, delivered with a natural diffidence that was much better when it wasn't aimed at him. He'd noticed that she was often found around Roy since she'd joined up in the central forests. It didn't really surprise him because she knew a lot about different things, but he did wonder why she wasn't back in the mountains or even in Corinth with his parents. Unless she somehow found out about the whole mamkute and dragon thing...

Not quite hiding, though no way was he going to stand in the open for his grandma to take a shot at him, Hugh peered around a tree at the boy general and his advisors - Grandma included. The non-Ilians looked troubled, all but buried in cloaks and furs now that the action had died down, while both Grandma and the dark-haired knight whose armor looked carved out of ice, a man Hugh thought looked familiar but couldn't name, stood impassively in the snow.

Roy cleared his throat. "We're going to Edessa next," he said, a questioning note in his young voice that made Hugh realize how unfamiliar the boy was with Ilia. Basically he was doing that thing his mom did sometimes when she didn't want to look weak, giving open-ended orders that practically required someone else jump in with an opinion.

"Yes," said Sir Ice-Block Armor. "I fear that will be the enemy's strongest position."

"Is Edessa naturally fortified?" asked the fat merchant man whom Hugh once saw snap at one of the younger girls of the company. It kind of pissed him off at the time to see that because he had the feeling the fat merchant did that to anyone deemed 'lesser', and since the fat merchant was also Roy's fat vassal...

Hugh grunted. People who picked on the weak, especially children, were trash. Even his dad wouldn't put up with that.

Sir Ice Block Armor (wait, wait, I think I know his name! Hugh thought with some force, though not enough to actually come up with anything) had this look on his face, like he thought he'd just been asked a stupid question but wasn't going to go all Auntie Tinae and actually call out the fat vassal-merchant on it. Instead he said, in the most neutral tone possible, "Ilia is its own fortification, and historically Edessa has never wanted for more. The last invaders who were not eventually driven out by the winter storms were the dragons."

Fat Merchant mumbled something that was drowned out by his master's next comment. "Then, which is the best way there?"

"There is a strait to its west, so we will have to approach Edessa from the south instead," answered the knight. Hugh hmmed at this, neither agreeing nor disagreeing. He didn't know anything about military tactics, but he did know a little about Ilian geography. If there was a strait to the west of Edessa, then he was certain that Corinth was to the northwest of Edessa. And considering how decked out his mom had made the city in the last twenty years, then it too was probably a target for the Etrurian traitors and the Bernese army, as well as the Ilian pegasus knights who had been impressed to serve Bern.

Hugh glared at his grandma, who was standing passively still like some harmless little old lady. Why wasn't she saying anything? Dammit, he should've asked her why she wasn't at Corinth...

Mom could be in danger. Everyone in Corinth could be in danger. And even if they weren't...well, how was he supposed to know? It'd be better to make sure, right?

Buoyed by this new strain of heroism, Hugh stepped out from the shadows of the massive pine trees. "Hey," he called out, "I have a better idea. There's a pretty big city just on the other side of strait where we can set up to take back Edessa."

"A city?" Roy said, looking like nothing more than an overly curious boy, even in his fitted armor. It kinda bothered Hugh because what the hell is wrong with the world when a child is leading an army with even younger kids in it? The little tilt of the so-called 'General' Roy's head as the boy furrowed his brows didn't help the dissonant image. "A castle city?"

"Well, it's like...it's only a castle, of sorts."

The Ilian knight stepped forward, and Hugh was surprised to see the fierce opposition on the older man's weathered face. "Corinth, the Walled Garden," the knight said, the disapproval in his voice blade-thin.

"What? You have a problem with the place?" Hugh retorted, already pissed off. "It's my hometown."

"The 'Walled Garden'?" Roy asked, still all boyish curiosity. The knight glanced at Hugh before reverting his attention towards Roy.

"A garden of dissidents who despise everything to do with Ilia, watered with hate by their leader."

Hugh laughed. It was an instinctual reflex born from not being able to swallow too much bullshit at once - a trait he shared with his mom. "What the hell? Aren't you Ilian, or did you get hit in the head too much in your tours abroad? There isn't a more loyal town to Ilia than Corinth! My mom made sure of that!"

Something flickered in the knight's expression, but Hugh didn't understand why and didn't care either way. "Your mother?"

"The laundress."

Hugh, mouth halfway open in preparation to respond to the Ilian knight's question, turned around to see his grandma standing just behind him. "Hey, you - " he started, but then she looked at him and suddenly he had nothing to say, nope, not Hugh!

"Sir Zealot," Roy said, looking thoughtful, "I want to go to this place. If it's just across the strait from Edessa, it may make a better base for us than camping in the snow."

"I wouldn't think that was a good idea," Zealot said, his face so impassive now Hugh would've sworn it was carved out of the side of Mount Athene. "The woman who leads Corinth will want nothing to do with a foreign army. She may even attack you first."

Annoyed, Hugh was about to say something before a very light tap against his right hand quelled his words with a wave of terror. He didn't dare look behind him now; he could see his grandma's disapproving face like a vision from the deepest hells of elder magic. Roy shook his head, his expression closing off with a strange resoluteness Hugh had never seen in men twice the boy's age...which wasn't very old, huh.

"How do we know that Bern hasn't already occupied them? We should go and make sure everything is fine there, and if we are needed, perhaps in turn their leader will be more willing to listen. And I think..." Roy paused, then shook his head. "Sir Zealot, as the general of Ilia and lord of Edessa, you're also worried about them, even if they don't consider themselves as part of Ilia any longer. So we can't abandon them."

Zealot hesitated, then nodded. "They are still Ilian, though they want nothing to do with Ilia," he echoed, and Hugh frowned. He didn't say anything though, not until later when he just happened to pass by the man while the army marched north.

"So why are you lying?" Hugh asked, knowing that the sneer he had on his face probably wasn't going to get the best answer from the knight. "There's no way in this world that my mom's turned her back to Ilia, not with everything's she's done for this country."

"How long have you been away?" Zealot asked. Hugh shrugged.

"Three or four years. Why?"

"Things change, even in Ilia," was all the answer Hugh received, and no matter how much he tried to draw the truth from either Zealot or his grandma, all he received were shakes of the head and one unsightly bruise against his ribs. But all that didn't matter. He knew his mom, and Auntie Ros and Auntie Tinae, and Stick-In-The-Snow Rycen and Rabid Elysia and all the people of Corinth...they all loved Ilia.

And, remembering them, he knew that he felt the same way too. He hadn't left because he hated it, anyway.

Maybe he should've written at least one letter. He couldn't remember why he hadn't. It was just, suddenly it was three years later. His mom would know that he wasn't dead, so it didn't matter. He was doing things that he really couldn't write about anyway.

Suddenly, it was three years later and he was coming home and the anticipation running through him made him wonder why he'd ever left.

-0-

Bitter, bitter cold. Yet, Lily's cheek burned with pain from where the Bernese commander had struck her. Covering the side of her face with her gloved hand, she kept her eyes lowered, demure.

"I'll ask you again. Will you surrender, or will you foolishly resist to the very end?"

"I've already told you," Lily said in as calm a tone as she could manage. She could taste blood in her mouth, a nostalgic flavor. "As soon as I left to negotiate with you, I was stripped of my command. I have no power over Corinth any longer." Lifting her gaze to the man's face, she saw nothing that reminded her of the only Bernese man she had ever known before this invasion.

That was good. She didn't need distractions right now.

"If that is true," started the commander, "why come out at all?"

"I was hoping to convince you to leave our home alone. I don't mind being considered a traitor if I can do that much."

The look in his eyes as he stared down at Lily was the look of a man who was already beyond the moment. "You've forfeited your life for nothing, then. It is the destiny of Bern to have all of Elibe, even your little fortress. You can do nothing to stop us."

Slowly, Lily lowered her hand. The wind was rushing past her bare arms, but there was no cold bite to it now. "You're going to kill me?" she asked, the barest hint of indignation sharpening her tone. "You've already stripped me and found no weapons of any sort, so where is your justification in murdering an old woman?"

"You're no danger to us, true, but I have no interest in future resistances being led by old women." The Bernese commander drew his sword, his face stoic in his utter readiness to carry out his words. Seeing this, Lily lightly bit her lower lip.

The wind was blowing faster now.

"I see. Then, I have a suggestion."

"A way you would like to die?"

"Yes. You'll want to cut off my head."

He hesitated, his sword half-raised. "Why is that? Ilian last rites?"

"No." She smiled. "That's the only way you'll stop me from casting magic."

The roar of the winds covered her ears and prevented her from hearing his exclamation, but the surprise on his face said it all - his men had stripped her down to her undergarments and hadn't even found an enchanted dagger on her. In the next moment, though, she had completed the spell she had been mentally chanting, and blades of wind turned him into so much meat as she activated the pages of the Aircalibur tome she had sewn into her undergarments. The spell went further as she poured as much of her body's magic stores as she could afford, tearing through man and wyvern alike, slicing through tents and utterly demolishing the camp of the regiment that had been sieging Corinth for the last two weeks.

There was no pity in her heart. Her life was for the sake of protecting Corinth.

Drawing back, she took a deep breath as she surveyed the damage from her spell. It was even better than the formula had promised, as the dregs of the regiment stumbled towards wyverns with ripped wings and deep gouges in their iron-scaled flesh. They would be on her soon-

She felt the distortion in the air before the teleportation sigil had fully appeared, and she turned to see her husband, his monocle askew and an expression of rapt joy on his face. "Lily, I did it! Oh, it's as absolutely magnificent as I imagined it would be!"

"Great, Canas," she said with a smile. "Now to draw them in. Do you have my Fire tome?"

"Ah, Lily...Lord Pent did write that it would be best not to cast additional spells for at least half a day after completing an incantation of such magnitude," her husband warned, an oddly severe look on his still boyish face.

It suddenly hurt to look at him, so she shook her head before jerking it towards the gray walls of Corinth. "Then you'll be protecting the both of us until we reach the point, dear," she retorted, and it was probably the nearly twenty-five years of marriage that softened her tone to her own ears, even though she was annoyed at the hitch in the plan.

"Yes, well, I have done this before," Canas said, his tone bright, "though it has been a while. Oh my, it looks as though they're ready to begin their charge."

"Well, let's not make it too easy for them," Lily said after a glance behind her - her husband had a tendency to underestimate speed and distance, to his detriment whenever he was playing with the mass of children Corinth had collected over the years. Grabbing his wrist, they began to run through the snow bluffs that separated them from their goal. When a wyvern rider happened to get too close, Canas cleanly picked him off with a single casting of dark magic, causing the wyvern to careen to the ground with a cracking crash that caused even Lily to flinch. Canas had no expression after the fact because he was right, he had experience in war twenty years ago, and the confidence he had in wielding magic he had once been rightfully scared of was incongruous and a little unsettling.

But then, this was war too. There was no point in being jarred by the difference in her husband when he gave her the same cautious looks after some of her decisions in the last two years.

"We're almost there," she said as Corinth's walls almost loomed over them. "Are they keeping up?"

"Ah, well...some of them?"

Lily glanced behind her, irritated; then she frowned in confusion. "What is that? Rosliand never told me she hired mercenaries for a pincer attack."

"Are those really mercenaries?" Canas asked in that certain tone that really was meant to convey doubt without angering anyone. "Certainly there are some who seem as such, but there are knights too and that diversity is altogether too familiar..."

"Canas?"

There was a stiffness in his smile when he looked at her. "Forgive me, it was only a thought. Shall we finish this?"

There was no point in believing the other group was Corinth's friend, and anyway Lily preferred to solve her own problems. A few wyvern riders were still pursuing them, but as soon as Canas' feet skittered past the line of rocks near the fortress wall, Lily brought her fingers to her mouth and whistled. Just as planned, she could see human shapes rise from the very top of the fortress walls - the hunters of Corinth, led by her best friend Tinae - as they raised their bows and took aim. A volley of arrows whistled through the air, piercing through the first line of wyverns that had taken the bait. With another whistle, the archers returned into Corinth and the melee defenders appeared; the three-member force of pegasus knights led by Elysia, who was like a niece to Lily, and the five mercenary knights under the strict command of Rycen, Canas' first student in letters.

They finished off the few riders left in short time before drawing back to her side. "Lady Lily," Rycen began, urgency apparent in his voice, "there appears to be an unidentified army fighting with the rest of the Bernese troops. Should we assist them?"

Elysia rolled her shoulders before stretching out her arms, her spear in one hand. "Let 'em kill each other, and then we can take care of the stragglers. That's how we did it when I was back in the brigade."

Shaking her head, Lily stepped forward to get a better view of the not-so-distant battle. "I'd rather wait and see who they are first. We need better information on what's happening out there beyond Lady Niime's reports. Do you think an Ilian resistance group has formed?"

"It's more likely Ilia's military has allied with the Bern army," Rycen replied. "But this army is too varied in its membership for that. Look there, those are foreign knights, not the Ilia Mercenary Brigade." He made a soft sound of surprise, then said, "I'm sorry, I'll restate that. I see General Zealot."

Lily refrained from saying exactly what was on her mind, which was a good deal more vulgar than she let anyone hear from her. "That's not good. Elysia, is it safe to scout?"

"No way," Elysia replied without a pause. "Rycen's right. I see pegasus knights, arrows, magic...and look at the way they're fighting. It's way too efficient."

"Magic..." Lily murmured. "Canas, what do you See?"

He glanced at her, the both of them knowing that she was far more skilled but she couldn't risk draining any more magic. She had gone into magic depletion shock once in her life, and that was once too much for her. There was a frown of concentration on his face as he stared at the dying battle, his lips pursed for a long moment before he shook his head. "It's all quite odd. I do believe my mother is there, however. And there is something odd...but it can't be."

"What does that mean?" Lily asked. Her husband shook his head again.

"Pardon me, but I'm not sure. There are far too many magic signatures in that army-"

"Army?" Lily interrupted. "No, this isn't the Etrurian Army, is it?"

Elysia cursed. "That's not good. They're even worse!"

"But why would they come here?" Canas asked, his voice strained. Lily placed her hand on his arm, causing him to look at her.

"We know why, Canas. We know." To her brave, wonderful defenders of their shared home, Lily nodded. "Get into position, everyone. The Etrurians may be powerful, but Corinth is the home of our families. I won't let them take away everything we've worked for!"

Grim, determined gazes met hers, because they all knew what was on the line: their continued existence. And, just as Lord Pent wrote in his final letter, there were forces in the Etrurian government that were agitating for the same thing Bern wanted - nothing short than the subjugation of the continent.

And the Etrurians were worse. Oh, Lily had seen this firsthand.

"Canas..." she started, trying to smile, "now you have to give me my Fire tome. After that, get inside."

The look on her husband's face was heartbreaking. The letter had been addressed to the both of them, after all. He looked down briefly as he removed the tome from his cloak, then he removed the cloak and wrapped it around her. "You...shouldn't fight in your undergarments," he said by way of explanation as she raised an eyebrow in question, his face faintly pink.

"I wear more under my dresses than pegasus knights wear all over," she said with a smile.

Elysia snorted. "It gets hot."

"They're coming," Rycen said, his tone sharp.

Lily looked ahead at the approaching Etrurian army, then at her husband, who hadn't moved. "Canas, go," she said with urgency. He seemed to hesitate, then shook his head.

"Canas!"

"...I won't leave you to fight by yourself, Lily," he said, a complex, yet sad expression suddenly making him look all his forty-eight years. "I could never do that."

She hated it when he was right. Her sweet, peace-loving husband would never bear it, just as she could never let him fight alone if she could help it.

And towards Etruria, who would make them do nothing less, Lily felt white-hot hatred.

In front of the army, which bore the standard of Etruria, a red-haired young man, maybe sixteen at most, walked with a portly blue-haired man who was little taller than the first, and Zealot.

_Oh Zealot_, she thought, _if I survive this, I'm going to string you up, you damned idiot._

When he met her stare, he shook his head slightly, as if to absolve himself from any blame. Since he was the only one who could possibly know where Corinth was and what it did, she was not inclined to be so gracious. With a grimace, she stepped forward from the protective circle of her dear forces, dimly hearing her husband follow her as she prepared her first words, words that could start a new war-

"Ah!" the portly man said. "Is that you, Master Canas?"

Momentarily unbalanced, Lily's gaze slid over to her husband, who looked even more uncomfortable than herself. "W-would you happen to be Merlinus, the merchant?" he asked.

"So it is you! How good to find you just when we needed help!" this merchant enthused. "We'll be needing a base of operations for retaking Edessa, and it's been decided that this fortress would be ideal for that purpose."

"...Um, er...I believe you are mistaken as to who actually has the power to, er, decide that," Canas said, looking absolutely unnerved even before his eyes met Lily's and she could see just how frantically nervous he was. He quickly looked away as he gestured to her and said, "M-my wife, after all, is the leader of Corinth."

"The leader?" Lily couldn't believe her eyes, but that fat merchant actually looked at her in disdain before returning his attention to Canas. "That hardly matters. Just tell her what needs to be done. This is no different than when we walked alongside Lords Eliwood and Hector."

"Ah...t-tell Lily..." Canas now looked stricken, which annoyed Lily because her husband shouldn't be pressured like this; that was why his job was to educate the children. Thoroughly disgusted by the sheer pomposity of some foreign merchant, she laid a hand on her husband's arm and drew him behind her; he may have been taller, but he didn't have a very forceful presence at the best of times, of which this was decidedly not one of them.

"If you have a request, I will decide if it has any merit," Lily stated, too irritated to be intimidated by the army before her. "I am Lily of Corinth, and you are trespassing."

"Trespassing?" that fat merchant shrieked, the loudest of the various indignant comments coming from the Etrurian army. The red-haired young man had an expression of surprise so guileless that Lily was wary, because she wasn't sure what role he played though he stood in front like he was the head of the army. There were many men and women greater in age, but the more she looked the more she was convinced he was the leader, though he was far too young to be called a general.

"We have no intention of trespassing on your land," the young man said. "We are only looking for the easiest passage to free Edessa."

Lily glanced at Zealot, who looked indomitable and wouldn't meet her eyes. Of course it would make sense, since they had an agreement and by bringing the Etrurian Army here he had practically sundered it, but she had an odd feeling. Zealot knew what was at stake here, and it was worth more than his city.

"What is your name?" she asked the young man. He bowed his head slightly.

"I am Roy of Pherae."

"A Lycian in charge of the Etrurian Army?"

"No, it's...we were originally the Lycian Army, but we've changed our name because of the support Etruria has given us to fight Bern."

"Support?" Lily murmured, her wavering heart becoming like ice inside of her. "And that would include the Three Generals?"

Roy nodded. "They have been, like everyone else, a great help."

She felt strong enough now to See into the crowd for the new mage general, but there were too many auras, confusing her senses and giving her a headache. This was out of curiosity and didn't quell the overwhelming urge to eject these people from the area; the Three Generals of Etruria were all nobility and only had Etruria's interests in mind. Considering Corinth's purpose, if Etruria were to find out...

"I'm sure Zealot already told you this, but we are not under the jurisdiction of Ilia's military councils," Lily began, her heart and mind set on her decision. "Corinth is its own land, and we are not friends with Etruria or Bern. Just as we defended ourselves from Bern, we will absolutely defend ourselves from you should it come to that. Please leave."

Though she expected displeasure at her decision, she wasn't liking the tension emanating from the Etrurian Army. Her own side could sense it and were growing restless as a result - it made her agitated, knowing that resisting could lead to battle.

Not resisting would lead to worse.

"Please rethink this," Roy said, his tone imploring. "The Bernese Army is killing Ilians. Whatever differences your Corinth has with Ilia, it isn't worth their lives."

Lily closed her eyes. "You're killing Ilians too, the ones who have decided to join Bern for whatever reasons they have. Or, are these deaths righteous because you can write them off as traitors, or simply because your side kills them?" Staring down the whole of the Etrurian Army, she unleashed her honest feelings. "This isn't some game where you get to call yourselves heroes as you invade foreign lands and fight off other foreigners. Your so-called moral imperative to rampage through other countries just to prove your strength ends here. Turn around, or we will defend our home."

She had expected the young man Roy to speak first, so it was a surprise to hear Zealot's deeper voice first. "Lily, is there no way to convince you otherwise?"

"Zealot," she said in a low tone, "I'm really ashamed of you, leading them here. This place is not for that."

He looked grave. "I did not lead them here. I was against this."

Incredulous, Lily was about to point out the obvious - he was the only person could possibly know about Corinth - when Roy interjected. "Yes, that is true. It was Hugh-"

Lily heard nothing else. There was no sound. Dimly, she could feel her husband's arm brush against hers as he moved to stand beside her, but no, no, no, what kind of sick joke was this...

But there was a man now, his stance hesitant as he stood in front of Roy, and his hair and his eyes were the same shade of purple as his father's, and the length of his face resembled her own, and-

"Um, hey Mom...Dad."

-and that voice was not much deeper than when he had left, over three years ago. The clothes were different, the jewelry was weird, but she could no more forget her son than she could forget to breathe.

Hugh, her son. Her son.

That he would lead this army here...yes, she understood why. She hadn't been able to contact him since he had left for Reglay, armed with a letter of introduction and the knowledge that he would be able to train in anima magic from the premier master of it in all of Elibe. But he had never arrived, and Lord Pent sent out men to find him...and never had. It was only because she had never felt his spirit join the many others that had returned to Ilia that she believed him alive, and after all that...

"Lily?" Canas whispered. There was anxiety in that single word.

Why? She could never turn away her only child.

"Rycen, Elysia," she said, relieved when the bulk of Rycen's horse blocked her view of her son. It made it easier for her to speak. "I would like you to assist those who need to bring their mounts to the stables."

"Lady Lily," Rycen started, but was interrupted by Elysia's yell.

"No! Don't do this, Auntie! I'd rather die then let these people in our home!" Bending her head, Elysia's short, dark plum locks curled around her face. "Please don't do this just because he finally decided to show up. There's so much more of us than him..."

Reaching out, Lily brushed some of Elysia's hair from her face. "If anything happens, I'll take responsibility for my son's mistakes. All right?"

Elysia shook her head violently. "You shouldn't have to..."

"Rycen," Lily said, turning to the man who wore a particularly grim expression, "if you can't do this, I'll have Jorah do it instead."

"No, it's fine. It's an honor to follow your orders, Lady Lily."

She didn't really believe him, but Rycen was nothing if not painfully sincere. She looked at her husband, who was clearly worried and practically hovering over her. "Canas, since you seem to be familiar with at least one person in this army, I'll have you escort them into Corinth. Try your best to delay them a little bit."

There was confusion on his face. "Er, if you say so, but where are you going?"

"To lock up," she said, right before she teleported into her room.

"Lily."

She turned, then flinched at Rosliand's harsh glare. "You have to understand," she pleaded.

"Your son is not worth this."

Anger made Lily snap back. "This isn't the first time I chose my son over Corinth!"

Disgust crossed Rosliand's lined face. "That blizzard? There was nothing you could do about that. Your delusions on the matter-"

"Shut up and do your job!" Lily shouted, before realizing how crazy she had to have sounded, yelling at one of her closest friends. In a calmer voice she continued. "We still have a chance to salvage this. As long as they don't know, we can send them on their way and we'll be fine."

"Of course," Rosliand said, no inflection in her voice. She turned on her heel and walked out of Lily's room, leaving Lily alone to think.

_Your son is not worth this._

"He is," Lily said aloud, her voice as ice-thin as her conviction. "No matter what happens."

Part II: You Can't Come Home Again

It wasn't as though Hugh hated his dad or anything, it was just that his dad was...off. Yeah, off was a good word. From the time Hugh was young, he'd always known that, and maybe he'd taken advantage of that a few times. More than a few. Whatever, not the point.

So being left with his dad after Mom went off and literally disappeared made Hugh less than enthusiastic about being back home. That, and everything his mom had said out there in the snow fields. Since he hadn't really believed that General Zealot about his mom being an Ilian-hating crazy, it was messing with him now that parts of that was actually true.

Corinth was not part of Ilia. His mom thought that the Etrurian Army was just as bad as the Bernese Army. She and Dad and the Corinth Defense League - volunteer only, eight members maximum - had been willing to take on the entire Etrurian Army to protect Corinth.

Whaaat. It was bad enough with the whole 'Bern wants to take over the continent and let loose dragons/mamkutes/whatever on the world' thing. He had to find out what was going on, and that meant talking with Dad, who was standing near the entrance to Corinth after telling other people in the army where to find certain things.

"Hey, Dad," he said, and his dad didn't respond. "Daaad." No response. "Dad!"

"Oh!" His dad spun around and adjusted his monocle, a silly smile on his face. "I'm sorry, Hugh. It has been a long time since you referred to me as such, and so I must admit I had no idea you were talking to me."

"Huh," Hugh uttered. This was not a question, just a thing he said when he didn't have anything to say.

"Oh, yes. After all, you haven't been here in a number of years, and when you were a teenager you tended to refer to me as 'hey you'." His dad's smile dimmed. "That was somewhat distressing, but your mother said you would someday call me something more appropriate. In fact, it was when you were quite small that you last referred to me as 'Dad'."

Hugh sighed. "Dad?"

"Ah, yes?"

"I didn't ask."

"O-oh, truly?"

One conversation, and Hugh remembered why he didn't talk to his dad when he could help it. "No. Look, about Mom-"

Something hard jabbed at his lower back, causing Hugh to jump away to avoid the next blow. Thankfully, his grandma seemed fixated on his dad for the moment. "Well, not a greeting for your mother after all time I've been away?"

His dad was standing stock-straight and his expression was like he'd arranged it in one particular way and he didn't dare break from that mould. "Mother, you look well."

"Hmph," his grandma muttered. "I see you're as stubborn as usual. Are you going to hold that grudge until the day I die? Well, it's no use getting an answer out of you. Your wife has more of a reason to be angry than you do, and she still knows enough to be respectful."

Hugh couldn't see if the remark bothered his dad, only that his dad was half-smiling as he said, "Lily is kind."

"It's a shame to be treated like this by my only child," his grandma sighed. "If only you had been obedient, like your brothers."

Now Hugh saw annoyance flit through his dad's expression. "Had I been more like my brothers, I would be dead now, Mother."

Grandma's getting angry, Hugh observed, inching away just in case she was going to lash out. Instead, his grandma only shook her head. "Impertinent as usual. Such a shame." When she walked away, Hugh let go of the breath he'd been holding.

"Well now, can I do something for you, Hugh?" his father said, looking creepy with that eager-to-please expression he often wore. Hugh never understood why his father was so damn servile sometimes.

"I just wanted to know what was up with Mom," he said. "What happened to Corinth since I was gone, anyway?"

His father looked reluctant to say anything. "I think your mother would prefer to talk to you about that, actually."

"Really?" Hugh asked, skeptical. "'Cause she looked like she was trying to run away from me earlier."

"Oh no, that could never be true. Your mother loves you deeply. There are just...certain precautions needed," his father said, annoying in his evasiveness. Since Hugh was used to it, he let it go.

"I guess I'll talk to her later. I'm gonna go look around, see if anything's changed."

Smiling, his father said, "Yes, of course. And Hugh...welcome home."

Hugh shrugged, embarrassed. "Uh, sure."

Corinth was large; he remembered it had nearly three hundred people living in the walled city right around the time he left. When he was a child, it was still a little village, but after his mom felt good again the first thing she did was do whatever she could to have a large fortress built. She was convincing enough, and soon there were people from villages all over northern and central Ilia coming to help build a new Corinth, the Walled Garden. By the time it was finished Hugh was about fifteen, and right until he left there were little improvements made here and there. But it couldn't rightfully be called a castle city, and neither was a fortress to protect against enemies; it was really just an enclosed city, with the first floor having shops and a mess hall and things like that, while family rooms took up the next three floors above. There was no use having gold here, since favors ran the economy here, and his mom was a strict but fair leader.

It was kinda nice walking around, except from the glares from the people who recognized him. It was like a taste of things he could expect from his mom, no matter what paff his dad had said about Mom really loving him.

He didn't doubt that. That wasn't the problem. His dad was always blind that way.

Strangely agitated now, Hugh walked inside the great mess hall, where the familiar aroma of rich meat stew made him hungrier than he ever imagined. Home cooking after weeks and weeks of camping from Etruria through Ilia was nothing he could ever resist. There were people here, most of them Corinthians, and even their open staring couldn't hold him back.

"Hugh? Is that really you?"

He turned to find Rachel, the beautiful big sister of any man's dreams, and he couldn't help but grin in response. "Hey, are you still working as a healer?"

Her smile was small, but genuine. "Yes. I was on standby, but I heard your army intervened?"

"Well, y'know, here we are to save the day and all that." He looked around, then said in a lower voice, "Though I guess nobody here thinks that we did any good."

"Corinth is independent, but _I_ appreciate it. Did you see my sister outside?"

"I got to hear her yelling about how terrible we all are to my mom."

"Oh..." Rachel sighed, her posture slumping. "I'm so sorry."

"I'm getting used to it."

She reached out and held his hand, one finger lightly rubbing the rings he wore on the middle finger of his left hand. "These are lovely. Do all Etrurians wear such things?"

"Nah, I'm special," Hugh said with a smirk. "They're pure gold. The bracelets too. I'd give you one, but Rycen'll probably kill me."

"I doubt it," Rycen said as he approached them. Hugh thought he looked well-fed but tired...actually, everyone he'd seen so far looked pretty healthy, like they'd been eating more nutritious food. Considering the wyvern knights had a large, though demolished camp near Corinth, he thought that was kinda weird.

"You look pretty good," Hugh said, exchanging a handshake with Rycen. "Marriage agrees with you, I guess."

Rycen nodded, looking happy enough. When Hugh was a kid Rycen had already become a mercenary knight, but in his last years in Corinth Rycen came back by his mom's request to lead the new Corinth's defenses, so Hugh got used to seeing him around. Also, for some strange reason, Rycen had a scary respect for his dad - who knows why?

"I never thought army life would agree with you, however," Rycen said. "Why did you enter the Etrurian Army?"

Chuckling, Hugh nonchalantly patted his belt, where he kept all that beautiful, beautiful money he got out of this job. "They needed a good mage, and I was thinking about a new job anyway. Got the leader to pay me ten thousand gold for this."

Both Rycen and Rachel were staring at him like he was pretty incredible - they were right, but Hugh had to admit it was a little embarrassing. It was a pretty good moment there, right until the bolt of pain exploded through his lower back. He turned quickly, expecting his grandma, only to find Elysia with her fists ready and a feral look in her eyes. "What is your problem?" Hugh yelled, rubbing the place where she punched him while holding his dominant left hand out just in case he needed to block her next punch. Rycen moved between them, staring down his sister-in-law like he was wary of her.

"Why are you here?" Elysia demanded. "Why are you trying to ruin everything?"

"I live here!" Hugh retorted, leaning around Rycen to do so while Rachel tugged on his arm to pull him back. Looking behind him, Hugh said in a calmer voice, "Look, I'm not going to attack your sister or anything, so you can let go."

Rachel shook her head. "I've seen how the two of you fought before. Hugh, maybe you should come over here..."

"Really? Really you live here? That's not the way it looks to the rest of us!" Elysia yelled back, swatting away Rycen's hand when he attempted to widen the distance between her and Hugh. "Get out the way, Rycen!"

Hugh finally stepped back a bit, seriously annoyed. "What's that supposed to mean? So what if I went away for a few years? I was always planning on coming back."

"Who would believe _that_?" Elysia burst out in laughter, dark and sinister. "Everyone knows you haven't written your own mom a single letter since you left. And now you come back with the Etrurian Army? The very same people Auntie's been fighting against for the last two years? You don't even know how stupid you are, you stupid, selfish _child_."

"What?" Hugh looked around. Though it was more crowded now, not a single Corinthian was looking at them. It was only members of the army that were watching with curious expressions on their faces.

_What the hell does that mean?_

Hugh pulled away from Rachel, stepped away from Rycen and Elysia, and left the room

-0-

Canas was in such a euphoric mood that he did something he rarely did: he went to visit his wife while she was working. Although normally he would be holding classes throughout the day for the children, today that was not possible. Many parents, out of fear, kept their children inside their rooms.

_At that time, we were undoubtedly performing a greater good for all of Elibe, but it had never quite escalated into that fearful beast called 'war'. Undoubtedly that is the word that changes everything..._

For all these thoughts, his mood did not waver. If it had, he could not now allow himself to knock on the door that led to the meeting room where Corinth's small government, with his wife as its head, met nearly every day to respond to the needs of the walled city. "Lily, it's me," he called after his knock failed to elicit a response.

"Come in!"

Canas did so, closing the door behind him. "Lily, I hope I'm not bothering you," he began in an apologetic tone. "I thought we could talk for a little while, if you like."

She gestured at a chair next to her at the round table where she was working, several papers spread out in front of her. "Sure, dear. Did you find any more of your friends?"

"I did find other acquaintances, yes." There was Bartre, who had a young daughter also with the army, and Sir Marcus, to whom Ilia's cold climate had been a constant adversary.

Lily picked up a sheet of paper. "I must not be very popular among them."

"Ah, well..." Canas vacillated between the truth and...another version of the truth before deciding on, "They mentioned how forceful you were."

"If that's really a compliment, I do appreciate it," she said as she set the paper down in favor of rubbing the side of her face, where a faint shadow of a bruise remained from the morning's excitement. "I think all women should be forceful in their underwear," she continued with a smile as she began to gather all her long hair over her shoulder and began to braid it. A pale, milky jade green with white streaks, her hair was as arresting today as it was years and years ago, when he had helped her cut much of it off so that it would be easier to care for her after...

"...I _could_ strip down to my underwear if it'll get your attention..."

Canas stared at his wife. "Pardon? I'm not quite sure I heard that correctly."

"Nothing." Finished with her braid, Lily kept her eyes on him as she asked, "So, have you talked to our son yet?"

"Ah!" His mood newly brightened, Canas nodded. "Yes, actually. He...actually approached me first. I was quite happy."

"That's really great, Canas," his wife said, smiling widely now. "Did you have a good conversation?"

"I believe so, though he seemed mostly curious as to the recent developments here. I thought it best to refer him to you about that, however." After a pause, he asked, "Have you talked to him yet?"

Lily shook her head; her braid came undone. "No, I've been rushing around trying to get everything locked down in time, then I had a meeting here."

"With Lord Roy and his entourage?"

"I might set his entourage on fire if it includes that terrible man," she confided in a serious tone. Canas flinched.

"Er...he wasn't quite like that twenty years ago."

"Who were any of us, twenty years ago?" Lily sighed. "Hugh was just a small child then. Now he looks like a man."

"Isn't that good?" Canas asked, confused. The ambivalent expression on her face did not seem in agreement with his question, unfortunately.

"He looks good, but...if only he'd written. If only I could've gotten one letter to him, it wouldn't be like this now."

Unsure of what to say, Canas waited for a cue from her as to the right thing to say, or something positive he could mention, but there was nothing. With an internal wince, he took the initiative. "I am happy to see him. He seems to have matured. Rather than condemning ourselves, we should simply be grateful to be able to see our child again."

There was a deeply contemplative look on Lily's face that seemed to smooth out the few wrinkles she had acquired over the years. "Rosliand was angry at me earlier. She told me he wasn't worth it. But it's like you said...I'm very grateful to see Hugh. I would give up Corinth as many times as I need to...to see my son's face."

_Give up Corinth...I suppose we did do that then. We didn't mean to, but we did anyway. It was a blizzard, and we are only human._

"I thought one of the wyvern riders would look like Kelial. He had so many siblings, after all." Lily, resting her head on one propped-up hand, had an expression that was the very definition of melancholic, but Canas thought it best not to interrupt her. "But I'm glad I didn't. I don't think I could bear it. Digging him out...all those people..."

"Lily?" Canas said, reaching out and yet too scared to touch this fragile Lily who he had known too long to bear seeing her again. She looked at him, then his outstretched hand, before taking it in both of hers.

"Don't worry, dear," she said, smiling now. "I have too much to live for. And our son is finally back." But the hollowness in her light eyes told a different story, a story that he knew just as well though he did not dabble much into the legends and superstitions of the old Corinth, a Corinth that had been protected for a purpose by Lily's ancestors, a Corinth that she failed to protect just once against something that might have been impossible to defend against.

He shared that same guilt, because he surely would have gone with her, but their son was alive and it was easy to hold onto that, easy to mix guilt with relief. And then...

The image of Bartre and his daughter formed in his mind's eye. It was a good picture. She looked nearly thirteen or fourteen.

That was about the right age.

"Canas, I saw your mother earlier."

"_She's bleeding out too quickly. It's not worth saving her life."_

Gingerly, Canas removed his hand from his wife's hands before standing up. "Lily, I refuse to discuss her."

"She said she intends to continue following that army. It seems it has to do with dragons, or something."

"...Well, that is her decision to make."

Lily sighed again. "And you wonder where Hugh gets it from." Canas frowned.

"Pardon?"

"Nothing." Lily stood up from her seat, stretching this way and that. "I have to go talk to Jorah. He should have given all our information on Edessa's situation to that Roy of Pherae."

"Oh." Canas tried to smile. "Why don't we-"

The door suddenly swung open, revealing none other than Hugh, who looked rather more agitated and gloomy than Canas was used to seeing in his son. "Mom, I'd like to talk to you right now," he said without preamble. This unnerved Canas.

"Hugh, is something wrong?" Canas asked. What he received in return for his inquiry was an irritated glare.

"Sorry, but can you leave?"

"Hugh, don't talk to your father that way," Lily snapped.

Hugh rolled his eyes. "Look, Dad, it has nothing to do with you. You don't do anything anyway."

"Did I actually just hear you say that?" demanded Lily. "I don't have anything to say to children who can't even try to respect their father, especially when you are more than old enough-"

"Erm, it's...it's fine, Lily. I was going to depart anyway. My studies..." Canas attempted a smile and left the room with haste. As his wife and son had similar temperaments, he found it best to not stand in the center of one of their rare arguments.

And yet...he had been so hopeful earlier...

-0-

"Are you happy now?" his mom asked, her arms crossed.

Hugh grinned, showing as many teeth as he could. "Thrilled." Thankfully his mom couldn't recognize sarcasm, so she only frowned before gesturing at a seat. He dropped into one while his mom sat next to him, looking as though she was waiting for something from him. "So anyway, Mom-"

"No greeting?"

"-Um? Hi, Mom. Can we talk?"

"Go ahead."

Scratching his head, Hugh tried to get his words together. On the way up, he'd reinvented himself as the guy who could demand answers and get them. There was way too much mystery surrounding this place, and he was the son of the head of Corinth. Damn straight if he wanted answers he would get them. Of course, now that he'd been thoroughly schooled...yeah, what _was_ he thinking?

"Okay, look. I'm sorry I didn't write once to you. I'm really sorry I brought an army to your doorstep and kinda made you have to feed and house them for tonight. And uh, I guess I could be nicer to Dad. But..." He threw up his hands after several moments of trying to figure out the proper way to ask the questions on his mind. Maybe he should've had his dad hang around. "What's going on around here?"

His mom looked at him with an even gaze before she closed her eyes. "Let me start from the beginning." She opened her eyes and looked directly at him. "We did it. From the research of your father, Lord Pent, and myself, we've managed to grow plants on Ilian soil."

"You're serious?" Hugh gasped. He could remember so many nights when his mom would talk to him about foreign vegetables and fruits, and how one day they would grow in Ilia and he could eat them every day and grow strong. He could remember the look on her face on those nights, and he never knew then if he should really believe her when she looked so tired.

But he always did believe. His mother was so dependable it hurt.

"I'm serious," she said, smiling now. "Our garden has vegetables and even some trees. It's really beautiful."

Laughing in sort of a delayed reaction, Hugh asked, "So when can I see it?"

"...You can't, Hugh. Not while that army is here."

"What? Why?"

"Because Etruria wants a weak Ilia." His mom leaned back in her chair. "About a year and a half ago, they apparently found out about our secret. Well, it wasn't a secret then. Lord Pent was actually planning to write a paper on it. I mean, it's the kind of research that can save the world. But at that time, there were insidious forces inside the Etrurian government manipulating the king, and an Ilia that can feed itself is an Ilia that doesn't have to sell itself to Etruria or Lycia or anywhere else in order to make enough gold to buy Etruria's leftover crops. An independent Ilia means an Etruria that wouldn't be able to supplement its own military with high-quality mercenaries.

"With that in mind, they gave General Zealot an ultimatum to stop the research, or they would never again hire any mercenaries from Ilia...and they would even force Lycia and Bern to do the same." Flicking her hair back from her shoulders, his mom slightly shook her head, like a tremble. "We'd starve to death before we could grow enough to feed the nation. So, I made a political move so that the general wouldn't have to, and declared Corinth an independent territory. I...fostered an environment based upon fear of outsiders, which is now why your army is being treated like monsters. And I don't regret it."

"Really?" Hugh asked before he could stop himself. Truthfully, why would he?

"Yes, really. I told myself I would never fail my home again. But when I saw you..." She covered her reddening face in her hands. "What else could I do? You're my son, my only child. I won't do any more actions that end up with my losing another child..."

So that's why...so that's it. Okay, I see. Yeah, that's fine. It's fine. These words were running through Hugh's mind as he moved, first with hesitance, then more confidently, as he embraced his mom for the first time since he'd left on his journey. Her arms clung to his neck and he could feel the warm wetness of her tears against his neck. She felt thinner, more worn down as she slipped out of her chair and sunk into him, and it was like a sudden slap - his mom was growing older. He was already almost half her age and she was growing older and older and one day she was going to disappear.

Why did it have to hurt so bad right behind his eyes? Damn, it was so humiliating...he hadn't cried since he was twelve and Elysia had kicked him out of that tree...

"I-it's gonna be okay, Mom," he said, his hands on her shoulders. "Really, really okay. The world that's gonna happen after the war is a world where you don't have to deny who you are. It'll be a world where no one will hate a springtime in Ilia. I promise you, so you have to believe it."

His mom smiled, her eyes red and her face still blotchy. Even so, she looked strong and confident. "I'll believe you."

"Great!" He helped his mom up before striking a pose. "Just leave it all to your Superbly Handsome Hugh, all right?"

His mom laughed. "Really? Then my Superbly Handsome Hugh can go apologize to his Adorably Handsome Father...what is that face for?"

Hugh sighed. "Mom, Mom...that's not how it works. That's like saying I got these great looks from Dad, and there's no way that happened..."

There was a really strange half-smile on his mom's face that Hugh was liking less and less by the minute. "Hugh, do you know how close you are to _really_ making your mother _very_ angry?"

"Oh wow, I just realized how much I really wanted to ask Dad about his research! Bye Mom!"

Part III: Prodigal

"So I'm off to save the world, Mom, Dad."

"Hugh, er...well, please be careful. Your mother and I will be waiting for your safe return."

"Right. And don't do anything your father wouldn't do."

"What, you just want me to sit in some corner and read all day?"

"Well, actually, he had this rare and incredible ability to perform a special magic called _writing letters_."

"Mom, you realize I'm going off to war, right?"

"...And what is your point, exactly?"

"As I recall, I believe I did much more than 'sit in some corner and read all day' while I was fighting alongside Lord Eliwood and his party. Lily, why are you giving me that look?"

"Canas, please don't encourage him."

"I...thought that was what we were here to do?"

"...Hugh, you can stop laughing at your parents now."

"Sorry, sorry. I'll be back before you know it! Bye Mom, bye Dad. Thanks for everything."

-end-

Wow. So I had always wanted to write an AU with the premise of Hugh having both his parents alive, and what would change because of it. It could have been longer, and my original draft over the years was considerably more angsty than this, but writing bouquet taught me that understated drama was a lot more interesting to write. And there was still angst, but in the end the family is together and stronger than ever.

Incidentally, Hugh is pretty well-adjusted in canon for a guy who lost his parents at a young age, was forced to learn a type of magic he had no ability to use, and booted out into the world to keep at it. Egotistical, cunning, kind to children, and maybe more gullible than he'd like to believe, at the heart of it he's just a really good guy who hasn't really been replicated in an FE game (that I've seen).

I am entirely grateful to anyone who has ever read my works, and even more so to those who have actively supported me over the years. I can't promise anything, but I have a lot of half-written files in my FE fic folder.

(Though...I think my time has passed. That would be fine, too.)


End file.
